


Song of Snow and Thunder

by SatansSin



Category: Thor (Movies), Thor - Fandom
Genre: Angst, Arranged Marriage, Babies, Betrayal, Falling In Love Again, Forced Wedding, Hate, Insanity, Love, M/M, Pain, Plans, The writer has finally lost it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-09
Updated: 2016-08-08
Packaged: 2018-04-13 21:04:03
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 26
Words: 249,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4537302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SatansSin/pseuds/SatansSin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sold into a marriage that neither they or their husband wants, both Thor and Loki try to ignore the latest addition in their lives.</p><p>But, before they know it, indifference blossoms into love and their lives are taken down a path neither of them could even begin to imagine.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The war was _over_.

The man who was once called the Spare Son stood high in the tower that looked down upon the city. The notorious King of the Jotuns, had been defeated and now his army celebrated. Their weapons clanked against the ground, their feet stomped on the snow were their enemies lay, but the war was, decidedly, completely and utterly over. They had won and even as the blood stained skies smelled of rot and defeat, he stood proud.  
Jotunhiem had fallen and the people were now his. Pale skinned, gifted with power far beyond those that Spare Son possessed. They were ruthless, given magic the gods had seen fit and possessing it for so long that now others hunted them for it.

They killed them for it.

Beautiful, graceful and lethal, the Jotuns were like fire; beautiful and mesmerising to look at but fatal if handled without precaution.

He was strong, aye, but now, with the power given to him by these people, he would be ever stronger. His strength would know no limit, this was the reason his men had killed and been killed. This was the end of it all, when he stood here, victorious as his enemy fell as he got what he wanted.

His blue eyes glittered and he turned to walk back down the tower steps.  
It had been a citadel, a symbol of the power that Jotunhiem had once wielded, now it were a mere skeleton, black and empty

beneath the grey skies that Jotunhiem possessed. The snow and ice were painted red, he could see it through the gaping holes of the tower walls as he descended. He heard screaming, he heard yelling but he did not stop. His feet were firmly planted, his gait assured.

Down went the Spare Son, into the sodden, blood soaked lands beneath and looked around.

His eyes were cold, matching the ice caps that guarded the home of the people who lived here. Even those massive floating mountains hadn’t been spared. They were jagged and broken, stained black because of what had been hurled at them and now lay wasted – just like the country they had overrun. 

His blonde hair whipped in the wind as he looked about. His locks had been the pride his mother had given him. Long, thick and the colour of the sun itself, his mother had often told him that the gods had blessed him with strands of the sun. Many hours had he spent, sitting with his back to her knees, as she brushed through them telling him tales of what he could accomplish once he put his mind to it.

It had been a wonderfully darling thing to say – when he put his mind to it.

He remembered this most about her, keeping it in mind long before her tragic death.

Then his mind had been put to killing Jotunhiem.

And he had.

His boot scrunched and turned to dust the hand of a fallen Jotun, and he walked forward.

The army he controlled, the stunning Asgardian men and women who had aided him, looked up and bowed to him, to his hands, to his hammer.

They bowed to the man he was. The warrior who had led them, the prince who had fought for them, the man who would once and forever be known at Thor.

Thor Odinson.

The third son of the Great King Odin.

He was strong, standing against the cold air with nothing but the torn cape and worn trousers upon his person. He needed no heat, he was stronger than that, he needed little care for the scars that littered his chest and he needed to prove nothing to his army.

He had shown them who and what he was.

He was destruction all by himself.

And everyone knew.

***

Sounds of war never ended.

It had always been that way. He could be back home and still hear the blasts and the clanking of weapons. It kept him vigilant even as it drove him mad.

He knew that the sounds were coming from his own mind or from the weapons being cleaned outside, the weapons and armour being mended. It was common, in times of war but the only thing that it did was tell Thor that he was about to be attacked again, that he would walk out of the tent and see someone close to him lying in a pool of coagulated blood, their middle pumping out more. It told him that he would have the lifeless eyes of the person looking up at him again.

It would tell him that he was alone in the world; even as he knew the fact.

At the present moment, he was sitting at the table of his tent. Candles burned around him, a small fire, placed inside a hole dug in the ground, kept the tent warm and a small mouth at the very top let the smoke out. So it was warm, no snow stayed on the damp ground, and no blood stayed on Thor. He’d bathed in warm water and now sat clean smelling and fresh.

A few of the servants brought along with the army had looted the palace. Soldiers had accompanied them for protection and brought back soaps and other things that Thor had distributed amongst his army.

Small trinkets meant a world to the men who would be rich on Jotun gold once the sun rose. 

Thor had kept two soaps and a few sponges for himself.

He was a Prince, after all, he could afford some luxury.

His knife skid sharply on the plate as he cut into the tepid beef on his plate, just as the flap to his tent opened.

Thor heard the person clear his throat before he looked up.

There was no hint of welcome on his face, there was only rage. His blue eyes held lightning itself and many would have cowered when the full heat of his anger was focused upon them; but not the person currently standing there, looking at him.

He might have had one eye, but that did not mean Odin couldn’t see, it didn’t mean he couldn’t fight and it sure as hell didn’t mean that he would back down under the anger his son possessed.

Odin was unimpressed and walked into the tent, letting the flap close behind him. He saw the meal his son was having and furrowed his brow.

“There was proper food in my tent” he said “Why did you not come there?”

Thor looked at him, his displeasure clear upon his features, his pain hidden from the eyes of the ruthless man his father was.

As far as opening lines went, this was not the best as far as he was concerned.

“I had no need to” he said 

Clearly, there was much more he wanted to say but he bit his tongue. In the presence of the King, he had to...for a moment or two.

Odin exhaled “Thor. This is not needed. You are acting as though...”  
“As though I betrayed someone who meant more to me than Asgard?” Thor cut in “Forgive me, I did not intend on letting mytrue feelings show. Pardon my humanity, my lord”

Odin’s mouth tightened “You know as well as I that this is what was planned all along”

“And plans never change” Thor said “Do they? Not with you”

“You cannot pretend this was not what you wanted!” Odin countered “This is your duty!”

“Ah, of course” Thor stood slowly

It was not intimidating, but it was a subtle challenge.

A golden glint flashed on his finger and Odin’s eye caught it. He let out an angry exhale at the sight of the jewellery, the ring

Thor still carried.

But he said nothing, instead looking at his son.

“Duty and honour are the things I lack so you have to forgive me for my oversight”

Odin glared “Don’t take that tone with me, boy. You were straying”

“Towards a bad path, in your opinion” Thor said “The whiny child you were forced to raise has disappointed you once more.

How cruel. Fortunate that you have two sons who will never let you down”

“You are not a whiny child!” Odin snapped “And I was not forced to raise you, I love you!”

“Well, you have a frightening way of showing it” Thor said, turning to head to where his mead was placed by the servants.

His tent was large, as was expected, but not as large as his brothers’.

Tyr was the eldest, the heir to Asgard’s throne and as such an arrogant ass. He had been his mother’s favourite and remained his father’s pride, despite the fact that he had three illegitimate children being raised in different households in Asgard. He was tall, well built and had flashing blue eyes and red hair that made sure he was never without a woman on his arm. Even now, Thor was sure he had taken one or two shield maidens to his tent for a romp or two.

Balder was second. Because Tyr was close to Odin, Balder was raised by Frigga. He was gentle, calm and kind. With a four year gap between him and Tyr, Balder had been left alone. He liked to make people laugh, dance and delve in the softest magic possible. He healed animals whenever he found one that was injured and as a result, they all rushed to him when he was outside.  It was magical. With blue eyes and brown hair, Balder was simple in looks, but utterly beautiful on the inside.

Thor was born when Balder was ten; very late as far as the gods of Asgard were concerned. He was  a spare’s spare and thus not given as much importance. He had two shadows to live beneath and Odin’s own. Frigga cherished him, she cared for him and kept him innocent as long as she could. Thor was special to her and he remembered how she consoled him when he cried; upset because of Tyr or Odin.

She had shown him stars and told him that one day, he would have one fall to him because of who he was.

Either she could see the future, or the Norns had blessed Thor. For on his fourteenth birthday, a star had indeed fallen, its heart turned into a weapon for the godling.

He had been scared, as had most of Asgard been, at first. He looked at it, letting his father touch it, but his curiosity won out after a few weeks and with Tyr and Balder behind him – Thor had picked the weapon up.

She was Mjolnir, the heart of a dead star, with more power than anyone had ever imagined. When Thor wielded her, he felt the surge, the bond connect to him, empower him and make him stronger than any warrior on Asgard.

It was a moment where his mother had been proud.

But it had created darkness within Asgard and not five years later, Thor had been shown what happened when he was given something that his father did not want him to have.

Odin’s foot scuffed the once damp ground and Thor turned, looking at him. His hand held the goblet he had filled and his eyes held detachment.

He said nothing, because he knew Odin wished to say a lot. He simply lifted the goblet to his lips and drank from it, waiting for his father to yell at him or leave him alone.

Odin sighed “You are only hurting yourself, Thor. You sit here, secluded, while your men and your brothers celebrate a won war. We have the Casket, we have gained a kingdom for you. Why are you so stubborn?”

“Because your victory and mine are two things” Thor said “What you call a won war, I call desecration. You desecrated an entire world for your own gain. You did not stop, even when I begged you to. Whose stubbornness caused damage, I wonder”

“It was necessary” Odin said “You have no idea what those monsters have done!”

“I beg to differ” Thor said “I lived amongst them, or have you forgotten?”

Odin narrowed his eye.

He could tell there was nothing he could say to make this pleasant. As a King, he never backed down, but as a father, he had to.

He sighed, looking at his son – his poor, besotted, angry son – and nodded.

“I have not forgotten” he said “but it seems it is useless, talking to you in this mood. I will always try and defend my actions because I know they are right. I just hope you see it before it is too late”

Thor watched him, still hurt and angry, not looking away until the flap closed after the King.

Once he left, Thor took one long swig from his goblet and slammed it into the ground in rage. 

It broke clean in half, the metal and he looked at the tent entrance.

“Halvor!”

There was the sound of someone running and a limber boy ran in, his eyes focused on his master

“Aye, my Prince?”

His gaze went to Thor’s feet and he ran in, shaking his head.

“Oi, Master, must you always do this?”

Halvor had served Thor for many years. He had certain liberties that others were not granted.

“I have lost count of how many beautiful goblets you have broken in your rage” he complained, picking up the remnants at

Thor’s feet “I have half a mind to not get you more”

Thor scoffed and looked at the bed

“Ready the bed” he said “I wish to take a walk”

“Aye, my Lord” Halvor said

He was lanky, but Thor had learned he was fast. The only thing that ran faster than his legs was his mouth; but it didn’t stop him from dodging the things Thor threw at him when he was in a rage.

Halvor went to do as he was asked and Thor walked out of the tent; he trusted the boy.

The celebrations were still at large, though Thor could see a line of pallets being set down for the night. Those who were injured or sick were retiring for the night, staying closer to the fire than those who were fine.

Those who were not gravely injured simply made it easier for those who had been hurt; this was the Asgardian way.

Thor knew everything there was to know about war, having been raised with a father others called a tyrant, there was little choice for him. He knew what happened to the slaves of war, he knew what happened to those who were caught hiding what the invading army thought was theirs.

He knew what would happen once the Asgardian army left.

Thor had envisioned many things in his future, most of them ended with his death, but not this. He never thought he could do what he had done here, what he had been doing here for the past eight months.

He had been murdering and pillaging  a land that did not deserve it, he had been killing people who had never done anything to him and he had taken from them the one thing that had made Jotunhiem beautiful.

Thor scratched his head as he walked on, ignoring the men and women who lifted their weapons or hands or kegs of mead as he walked past.

To them, even though he was the Spare Son, he had led them to victory.

In his arrogance, Tyr had once led a portion of the army into ruins. Odin had been furious and since Balder would never attack someone, he was forced to make Thor his new contender.

And fool that he was, Thor had grasped that opportunity with both hands, willing to learn from his father.

Had he given thought to what he had been doing then, Thor wouldn’t be here at the moment, knee deep in Jotun blood.

Drowning in betrayal.

“Thor!”

Thor turned automatically, looking around for a second before he grinned at the young man walking over.

“I thought it was you” Balder, blue eyes shining even in the dead of night, beamed “where have you been?”

Thor, who had stopped in way of greeting, gestured to his tent

“I needed rest” he said, his voice rumbling through him

_Your voice resonates through you, Thor, speak like this again and I will find I cannot control myself_

The voice, the lilting voice suddenly ran through his head, a memory he had been made to suppress.

His smile faded and he shook his head to try and get it out.

It was over.

Thor had made sure it was over.

Balder jogged over to him, but unlike before, his brow was furrowed.

“What’s the matter, brother?” he asked, placing a gentle hand on Thor’s shoulder “Are you alright?”

Thor looked at him, blinking as though dazed, then smirked.

“Of course” he smiled – it didn’t reach his eyes, Balder noticed – and waved ahead “Come, join me for a cleansing walk”

Balder nodded and wasted not a moment to get into step beside his brother. Together, they walked on, their boots moving in synch as they strode ahead in companionable silence.

The older prince knew what bothered Thor, but was hesitant to bring it up.

Thor had been isolated from their family for a long time, something that Balder resented Odin for, and had not the closeness needed to discuss what was bothering him.

His prime, the end of his youth, had been spent with someone else and Balder suspected that it was now that Odin was going to pay for it.

It was unfair, because it was clear that both Thor and Odin wanted different things from his life.

Balder had a hand on his sword as they walked. He kept it for defence, not attack. He defended himself, trained like every warrior in Asgard was, and had a good grip on how to protect himself.

But it did not mean that he liked it.

Balder would rather have peace than what he was standing in.

Odin paid no heed to it.

Thor’s foot crushed a stem – or perhaps it was a decaying bone of their enemy – and he didn’t look down at it.

He led Balder to the edge of the hill that had a sheer drop, looking into the valley down below.

Balder came up beside him, looked at his brother’s face, then to where he was staring.

It was almost invisible, but Thor required his heart to see, not his eyes, Balder had to squint a little but in the end he spotted it.

A thin line of smoke rising up, settled on the very precipice of the horizon.

They were those who had escaped from the palace, those who had retreated.

Balder didn’t know who was amongst them, but he had a feeling Thor did.

He probably knew them all by name.

“They say those are the Jotunar taking refuge” Balder said, his voice careful “They will move away once the sun rises, head deeper into the country”

Thor hummed, his brow furrowed as he looked on, perhaps hoping to see something more than Balder was.

“There is no chance of retaliation” Balder said “all they have to wait for now is...”

“I know what you wish to do” Thor said, gently but firmly “And I beg of you to stop”

Balder blinked at him, unable to come up with something to say.

“There is more pain in my heart than I can share” Thor said “Not tonight, at least. Leave me be for a few days, then I will talk to you”

Balder nodded in acquiesce “You know I am here for you, brother. I always will be”

“Of course, I know” Thor looked at him, giving him a painful smile “Why do you think that I talk to you more than anyone else?”

He could see it surprised Balder, by the way he blinked and looked at Thor. Then a smile came over his lips and he looked behind him, sitting on the fallen branch of a tree that lay behind them.

“Sit” he told Thor “then listen to my woes and those of Lady Sif”

Thor looked at him, staring as if unsure, then coming to sit by him.

The hesitancy to sit with his own family had been cultivated in Thor this past year. They all wanted something from him, so when they requested his company, it was merely for their own gain.

They appealed to his loneliness and Thor often fell victim to it.

Yet, there was kindness in Balder’s eyes, there always had been, and there was no agenda there, so Thor obeyed.

“Lady Sif, eh?” Thor asked “You know you have no chance with her, right?”

Balder narrowed his eyes “I will have you know that she and I had a very meaningful conversation while you were having dinner in your tent”

“Ah” Thor said, looking back at the horizon “And what did she say to you?”

He looked back at Balder, head cocked to the side in a knowing gesture.

Balder considered lying, but then he blushed and looked his hand

“Pass me the keg, please”

Thor didn’t mean to, but he snorted and barked in laughter, the sound echoing in the dark skies of Jotunhiem.

His eyes twinkled with mirth and Balder realized that he had no problem with the embarrassment he felt, if it got his wounded brother to laugh.

And Thor was laughing, he slapped his knee and doubled over, snickering as he thought about his hopeless brother.

His head hung between his knees and he had his hands over his face as he chuckled, his shoulders shaking.

Balder sat there, listening to him laugh and looking at the landscape before them

Thor had been right before the war, Jotunhiem was beautiful, not meant to be ruined by war and blood. It had waterfalls, frozen on the surface, yet falling underneath. The water was ice cold and pure, free of any contamination. The skies, which were grey at the moment, were the most crystalline blue, reminiscent of Thor’s eyes, open and welcoming. The snow, which was everywhere at once, was a sheet of silk, stunning to look at and fragile.

But now, Balder feared that everything from the high trees to the mountains were suffering, because of what they had done to it. What war had done to the land, what murders had tainted the soul of this earth.

A sob broke through and startled Balder.

He turned instantly to Thor and his mouth fell open when he saw that his laughter, which was a desperate way for him to try and keep his emotions in check, had led to his brother breaking down.

Thor had his hands over his face, still, but where he had been laughing before, he wept now, his shoulders shaking with his grief.

Balder had often wondered why Thor was so stoic, it never occurred to him that he let his emotions run their course on him before he met them. And that the only reason Balder was witnessing it now was because Thor had no place to go.

He had never seen him cry and he made him move forward and rest a hand on his brother’s shoulder.

Thor was not one to embrace, but when he didn’t shrug Balder’s hand off, the elder prince knew he had been accepted.  He didn’t say anything; Thor was entitled to his tears. He simply sat there, letting him know that he was there for him even if no one else was.

***

Halvor had done as Thor asked, even placed a small clay pot, filled with hot coals, in Thor’s bed.

He’d cleaned up after his dinner, set his clothes out in case he wished to change and had a steaming bath ready for his master.

He knew he had bathed, but he also knew that his walk was longer than intended.

Thor had been contemplating and it would end with him being stressed and angry. A hot bath would do him good.

Scuffing the ground with his feet, Halvor sat in one of Thor’s chairs, awaiting his master’s return. He would not sleep until

Thor was safely tucked in, then he would secure the flap and rest.

Of course Thor needed it more than him, but that meant more to the loyal servant.

Halvor played with his hands as he waited, the sound of his feet scuffing the ground loud in the tent.

The men and women warriors outside still played about with each other and Halvor prayed he got no part in it. He had seen his share of female – and male – parts when these sort of games took place.

He shuddered in revulsion at the thought of walking in on something like he had a while back.

Footsteps sounded and Halvor stood, ready to accept whoever it was into Thor’s tent.

The flap opened and Halvor almost made a face as the stench of arrogance that came from the Crowned Prince.

Tyr’s blue eyes searched the room, not even noticing Halvor standing there, as he stood with one hand holding the flap open.

His armour was gone, the under tunic somewhat wrinkled and pulled at the seams.

Halvor calculated that the man was possibly in bed before he decided on a late night visit to his brother. The servant didn’t understand why, Tyr had never said anything pleasant to Thor.

“You!”

Ah, Halvor almost swooned, he was noticed!

“Aye, my Prince” Halvor said, a professional smile on his face

“Where is my brother?” Tyr demanded.

He had a hard face, just like his father, mercy almost nonexistent on his features. His voice was commanding and his hair was tied back, yet fell into his eyes.

Bloody demon, Halvor told himself

“He went for a walk, my Prince” he said “Do you wish to have something to drink while you wait?”

Tyr scoffed. It was absurd, asking _him_ to wait for someone like _Thor_! The third prince should be honoured that Tyr visited him.

“Nay” Tyr said “Just make sure to send him to my tent when he arrives”

He turned to leave without an answer

“Like Hell I will” Halvor muttered, heading to the table.

He was loud enough, unfortunately to be heard by someone who was not even five feet from him and Tyr swung back, looking at him 

“What did you say?”

Halvor looked back at him, eyes innocent, not a hint of grimace on his face. Inwardly, he cursed himself, but was the picture of innocence and obedience when he looked upon his prince.

“I said of course I will”

His face, devoid of emotion, looked at Tyr expectantly and the Prince huffed.  
He continued on his way, leaving Halvor to make a face at him.

“Bloody red haired demon” he said to himself “If he were a woman, I would have shown that shrew his place long ago”

“Don’t let him hear you say that”

Halvor yelped and turned around, his eyes wide as he saw Thor walk in.

The third prince had a smile playing upon his lips as he walked into the tent, letting the flap close behind him.

Halvor blinked at him a few times, trying to get a hold of the situation as best he could.

“Oh, my lord, I was not talking about...”

“You have muttered worse in my presence before, Hal” Thor chuckled, heading over to his bed “I find it rather entertaining, if I am to be honest, so I am not inclined to believe your apologetic facade”

Said facade vanished instantly “He is a boar with hair and a good smile, nothing else. You are the better prince, everyone knows that”

Thor snorted and laughed “You mean the Spare Son? I find you are mistaken, my friend. He is and always will be the heir”

“Not if you challenge him” Halvor said, walking over “I have read a lot, my lord, I know how things work”

“Do you?” Thor asked, pulling his dagger out of his side and sliding it beneath the pillow “And what conclusion have you come to, Lord Halvor?”

“That Prince Tyr is a numb brain” he said “And that you would sit on the throne and treat it with the respect it deserves”

Thor looked at him, eyebrow raised “Is that right?”

“Of course!” Halvor said “You deserve to be the King of Asgard, yet your father gave you this realm, knowing what you have been through here”

Thor studied him before he sniggered “I have talked to you too many times”

“And I have been honoured by it” Halvor said, pulling Thor’s covers back “I have never betrayed your confidence, nor will I ever. Even if they string me up by my innards, I will never tell them a thing you have told me”

“Pleasant imagery right there” Thor made a disgusted face “Have you never considered poetry?”

Halvor gave him a dry glare “You know I have not. Now stop getting into bed and go bathe. You smell like ... well not a prince”

“A boar?” Thor asked “Was that what you were going to say?”

“I said what I was going to say” Halvor said “Now get in the bath. Your hair needs brushing, my Prince, it shames me what you look like every time you go out. It is like I am catering to a child!”

_A boy you are, still, whatever shall I do with you?_

There it was, that voice again. Thor could almost feel it this time.

He frowned and cleared his throat, actively thinking about something else.

“Yes, yes, me too”

Halvor, who was pulling out towels from the trunk at the foot of Thor’s bed, stopped.

“You too, what?” he asked “Are you well?”

Thor blinked at him, lost for a second. His blue eyes looked at his servant, as though he didn’t belong there, as though Thor should be looking at someone else at this moment.

He shook his head again, more forcefully this time and  nodded

“Aye” he said “Just ... get my tonic and mead. Please”

Halvor nodded and fled to one of the numerous trunks and cabinets placed about.

Meanwhile, as the boy worked, Thor stripped and slipped into the bath, letting himself into the heated water.

Phantom limbs came around him, hands rubbing his shoulders and back. He could have sworn he felt it.

And along with it, he felt the pain. It was anguish that went through him, a constant stretch in his soul that reminded him of what he had done and who he had betrayed.

How low had he sunk to take over and kill innocents, to fight and not be there for someone who needed him most.

Thor was not going to lie to himself, there were points in the war where he wanted to throw himself at the nearest spear, held forth by the enemy. He wanted the pain to end, he wanted his torment to have an end he could see.

It was a constant headache he had; ever present and never ending.

And it was slowly weakening him, slowly taking his life, when he wanted it to be swift.

Thor could scream and cry as much as he wanted, there was little he could do after the crime he had committed.

His heart  longed for another, his body screamed at him to go. He knew that the only way he could be calm was if he took his hammer and flew towards the one who he longed to see most.

Yet he was afraid.

There would be no welcome there.

Not anymore.

Not for Thor.

***

Snow cracked outside.

Thor’s blue eyes flashed open and he looked at the top of his tent, blinking for a few seconds.

It had been a year since he’d left, yet whenever he woke, he wondered why he didn’t see the frost white canopy above him, why he wasn’t in a four poster bed and why there was no one beside him.

It was another sort of anguish, one where he could writhe and scream as much as he wanted but it would do nothing. No one was there beside him, no one would be.

Thor was not Asgardian, he didn’t belong in Jotunhiem.

He was no one.

He had no place and as he lay there, it hit him yet again that if he simply gave in to the torture, gave in to his death, it would go unnoticed.

He could lie in this bed for days before someone came to him.

And the worst part would be that no one would miss him. Not until they needed anything.

Thor turned to his side, shifting in his lonely bed and looked at the horizon.

It was as though he could see past the tarp and cloths. Past the army, past everything that kept him this far.

He knew where they were, all he needed was the courage.

All he needed was to fly.

But fear kept him grounded.

Rejection kept him grounded.

His betrayal kept him grounded.

Sighing, Thor closed his eyes and exhaled loudly.

There was nothing he could do now.

He had dug himself into this space forever. He had made himself the monster he was and he had left the one person who had meant the world to him.

He had left his beloved, his darling, his beautiful, stunning and absolutely kind hearted lover.

His eyes, blue and slowly filling with tears, looked at his hand again.

They focused on the ring – his wedding ring.

An image flashed through his mind.

A beautiful smile, soft hands cradling his head and the touch of gentle lips on his forehead.

Vows were spoken, the ring was put on by gentle hands and a pair of gorgeous green eyes had looked into his

_With this ring, I thee wed_

It was the first time Thor had fallen in love with a voice. Beautiful, deep and holding the promise of a better life, that voice had told him things would be alright.

Then his hands had been taken, a string bound on his wrist.

After that, he remembered the wedding chambers.

He remembered laughter, a kiss and bright lights.

Thor saw a figure running, wearing green garbs and looking over a pale shoulder, green eyes twinkling, a diadem upon a flawless forehead. Black hair, flying in the wind, shifting on the pillow beside him, moving upon the cloth like silk. Thor had reached out, to feel it between his fingers and ...

...nothing

Thor jolted, his face surprised as he lay in his bed, his hand extended, resting on the second pillow, reaching out to feel raven hair in hand, but holding nothing but cold air.

Cold air and loneliness – that was his life now.

That was what he had chosen.

Thor’s watery gaze went to his hand once again and he looked at the finger. Four simple syllables were engraved in the solid Jotun gold, four words that taunted him, yelled at him, screamed and begged him.

He could almost hear that voice again

_If you walk out that door...!_

Thor closed his eyes and two thick tears dropped, slipping down his face and into the pillow below, filled with pain and anguish and reflecting the four letters, reflecting the name that Thor hadn’t said in a year.

Reflecting the love he had left behind and betrayed for his father.

That one name that lit up his day every morning and set him to sleep every night, the one name that had been Thor’s litany, his promised legacy over the past fifteen years.

One single name that was the only thing left for him, and even though he had no right to say it, he did, whispering it as he turned his face into the pillows and broke down one last time before the sin rose.

“Loki...” Thor whispered, his hand clenching in the sheets “Loki...”

Loki...

Loki  
 _Loki_


	2. Chapter 2

The thunder seemed to have been singing when the third prince of Asgard was due to be born.

The clouds came together as he took his first breath and the colors of the skies changed from blue to white, with every cry he gave. His voice, even as a baby, was loud and demanded attention. His fists punched the air, his eyes tightly shut as he wept in the arms of the healers who had assisted the Queen in birthing the large baby.

Hours, she had spent, screaming and digging her nails into her husband’s hand, leaving thick bloody imprints and extracting a promise of no more children from the poor, intimidated King.

Odin, the proud father, had stood against army after army without breaking a sweat, yet it was when his beautiful, graceful wife had turned into a screaming hellion, had he realized that there was no greater fear than this. Her eyes had turned dark, her face was red and she looked capable enough to skin him alive.

There was nothing he could do but soothe her and listen to her, praying she was not serious when she told him that she would castrate him after this.

The image had not been something he wanted in his mind.

Yet, hours later, at the hour before the first light of dawn hit, she had managed to push him out, to push her third son out. Odin had sat there with her throughout and once he had opened his mouth and cried, he had looked up, in awe, once again, of the life that had been created.

His Queen, the beautiful Lady Frigga, had fallen back on the healing chamber’s bed and heaved a sigh of relief as he kissed her head, over and over, promising to get her present after present, until she forgave him.

They had stayed that way until she had been taken away to be cleaned – not something Odin was allowed to see – and the babe taken care of.

Odin had stood after he was left alone, a grin on his face as he went to deliver the good news to his sons.

Outside, in the hall where they both waited, Tyr and Balder sat, playing a game with a few stones the elder prince had found. He was fourteen years old while Balder was ten and both of them looked up when their father arrived.

Tyr had inherited his grandfather’s bright red mane, his father’s blue eyes. He looked up and beamed, then stood and ran to Odin, hugging him tightly around the waist.

“Do I have a brother, Father?” he asked, looking up at him

Odin was so tall to him, powerful, regal and strong. Tyr was forever in awe of him.

“Of course” Odin said “A beautiful new brother for you to spoil”

Balder had beamed and so had Tyr, both of them watching their father and listening to him as he told them about responsibility and what they were expected to do as brothers.

They had to protect him, take care of him and love him like he was meant to be.

According to Odin, they were both his sons, made to be Kings and the latest addition to their family would be their mother’s happiness.

He would be hers to spoil and cherish as much as she wanted while both of them would be trained to become warriors.

Both of them would be made to rule.      

Balder listened to every word his father said, but Tyr’s eye kept wandering.       

There were a bunch of maids playing in the pool on the far side of the palace as it rained. Their clothes were sticking to their bodies and caused his attention to waver.

Whether Odin noticed it and let it slip or he didn’t notice it at all, was uncertain, but it became a habit for the elder prince, to not pay attention to what Odin said and get away with it.

“What is his name, Father?”

Tyr blinked and turned to look at Balder after the question was asked.

“Silly boy,” Tyr said “They have not named him yet, he was just born”

Balder looked at him, his cheeks colouring brightly in shame.

Odin gave Tyr a mild glare and a soft thwack on the back of his head.

“Mind yourself” he said “Your brother was merely asking”

He turned to Balder, who had gone silent.

“I was thinking we name him Thor”

“Thor?” Tyr echoed “What kind of name is that?”

“It means thunder” Odin said, smiling at them both “For he wails like the very clouds and had inherited your mother’s impressive lungs”

Balder giggled and Tyr snorted at that, especially after the face Odin made.

“Come” Odin took both their hands “Tonight, I will dine with you”

Both Tyr and Balder looked at each other, grins on their young faces.

They grabbed Odin’s hand tighter and jogged along, waiting for their mother and the newly named Thor to arrive.

***                                              

“Thor? That’s a lovely name”

Odin looked up at his beautiful wife as she lay in their bed, finally recovering from the hectic birth. She was tired, understandably so, because not only had she brought Thor into this world, but listened to both her sons talk to her half the night and fetch her whatever she desired.

She was exhausted, but hadn’t the heart to tell the darlings to leave.

Even now, they slept on thick pallets at the foot of their bed rather than their in their own rooms.

To them, Thor was a wonderful addition to the family.

And said prince was no sleeping soundly in Odin’s arms, his tiny hands clenched into fists and his feet encased in soft cotton boots and his little body wrapped in the softest, sturdiest cloth Frigga could find.

There was a dusting of blonde hair on his head and his bright blue eyes were closed. He had a tiny mouth that kept moving as though he could never stop talking.

Odin looked down at him as he sat in a couch, holding his little baby boy and smiling down at him, stroking his tiny head, his cheeks and arms.

“If you keep doing that, he will wake up and howl the palace down” Frigga said “And I will not do a thing to help you”

Odin laughed softly and looked up at her “You will not be disturbed by his crying?”

“I have lived with your snoring these past thousand years, Odin” she said “Not even a wailing child can compare to that”

Odin sniggered and looked down at his baby.

At Thor

“So may I name him that?” he asked softly “Or do you have another name to give him?”

Frigga, golden hair spread out on a pillow, beautiful blue eyes focused on Odin, shook her head.

“Nay, I love it” she said “Thor it is”

Thor cooed softly and wiggled a little in his father’s arms before relaxing and going back to sleep once more.

Odin smiled at him, his face was hurting because of it but he would not stop. He was so happy.

“Thor” he said “my beautiful baby Thor”

He leaned down and kissed his cheek, smiling when Thor gave him a grin as he slept.

“He likes me” Odin said “Look, he’s...”

He looked up and broke off when he saw Frigga had dozed off.

Humming softly, Odin leaned back in his chair, still holding Thor to him as he lay back, rocking both of them as he held his precious baby.

His Thor.

His son.

***

Balder and Tyr looked down at the crib.

Their new baby brother had big blue eyes and they were focused on the entire world, it seemed. His tuft of blonde hair stood up on end and the infant beamed when he saw them both, laughing and giggling before he extended his hands to ask to be picked up.

Tyr blinked, so did Balder, then looked at each other.

“You do it” Tyr said

Balder stared “What? Why me?”

“Because I hate children” Tyr pointed out “You can do it, go on. He wants to be picked up”

Left without a choice, Balder looked at Thor and waved.

“Hello, baby”

Thor gave him a toothless grin and cooed at him before he grabbed both his feet and stuffed his toes into his mouth, rocking from side to side.

Tyr snorted “He’s so stupid”

He reached over and gently stroked Thor’s cheek, halting his rocking when the babe looked at him, eyes large and blinking.

He wrinkled his nose and let out a long coo, smiling at Tyr before he grabbed his hand.

Tyr stilled and looked down at the baby, trying not to pull his hand away like he wanted to.

The runt might cry.

“Hello” he said, instead.

Thor blinked at hearing his deep baritone and Balder smiled when he started to make odd sounds.

“I like him” Balder said “I feel silly now”

“Why?” Tyr looked at him, extracting his hand from Thor’s

“Because I got upset when I heard he was coming”

Tyr smiled and ruffled Balder’s hair, laughing when he ducked away.

“Oh, you know they will kick you out”

Balder rolled his eyes and walked away “Not a chance”

“I know it!” Tyr said, his tone filled with laughter “It’s just a matter of time!”

“Leave me alone!” Balder headed to the door

“They will buy a cow to replace you!” Tyr called after him jogging to catch up.

Once outside, Balder and Tyr started a race, both of them shoving each other as they headed to the throne room.

“You monster!” Tyr said when he stumbled after Balder’s shove “I almost died!”

“Good!” Balder sniggered as they ran through the halls “I will be King then!”

“Aye, the Pumpkin King they will call you!”

Balder was behind Tyr, he was never fast enough, so it gave him the advantage.

He threw himself at Tyr and Tyr yelped as he was tackled, both of them falling to the floor, locked in a wrestling match.

“Yeild!” Balder ordered once he had Tyr on his front, his arms behind him.

He used his weight against him and sat on Tyr, holding him down.

“Never!” Tyr said, pretending to struggle and escape.

Of course, Balder didn’t know, he didn’t know that Tyr was pretending and that he could easily escape, just like he didn’t know that later, once he let him go, Tyr deliberately let him win.

And that the cold sweet ice Tyr bought him as a penalty was a reward for the elder prince.

Tyr doted on Balder.

And it would never change.

***

“Thor, get back here!”

Frigga’s voice was loud and filled with laughter, making Odin look up from the documents he was signing. For a second, he did not see what was wrong, but he saw Frigga run out their room, laughing so hard she had to stop and double over because she was so out of breath.

“Thor!” she gasped, laughing “Darling, stop!”

Odin heard the devilish giggle and stood from his desk to see.

He had to pull his lips inwards to keep from laughing when he saw Thor, bare as the day he was born, wearing Odin’s helmet on his head and running to hide behind furniture.

He was four years old and already a menace.

He was hiding behind the leg of a table, thinking himself invisible.

Odin was behind him, watching him wiggle his bottom as he stood there, big blue eyes looking at his mother.

“Mama” Thor laughed, lifting the helmet off one eye “Come catch!”

Frigga grinned “No! You come here, let me put this on”

“No!” Thor giggled, eyeing the one piece suit Frigga held.

Then Thor screeched in laughter when Frigga stood to chase him and fled to Odin

“Papa!” he screamed, laughing and jumping to be picked up “Up! Up!”

Odin was then pulled into a war where he had to decide.

Frigga was gaining ground and Thor was demanding help. There was only one thing he could do.

Odin reached down and picked Thor up, much to the delight of his child and sat him in his lap.

“Mama!” Thor smiled “I disappeareded!”

Frigga gasped, a hand over her chest “Oh my...where did he go?”

Odin pretended to be scared “I can’t find him! Alert the guards! Order Hiemdall to look for him, my prince is gone!”

Thor laughed loudly and fell back against Odin, screaming in laughter when his father started to tickle his sides. He kicked and bucked his body, trying to get away but staying ‘disappearded’ at the same time.

Frigga watched father and son interact, a soft smile on her face. Both of them looked so happy that it filled her heart with joy.

The doors suddenly banged open and both Odin and Frigga looked to see Tyr walking in, his nose bloody.

Frigga gasped and Odin took Thor’s clothes from her.

Thor had gotten silent, too, sitting on Odin’s lap, his blue eyes wide as he saw his brother, walking in and looking angry.

“Tyr!” he gasped, pointed to him “You blood!”

Tyr ignored him but stopped when Frigga came over.

“My love, what happened?” she asked, her blue gaze worried “Who did this to you?”

“Sif!”

Balder had run in, holding a bloody cloth. He was panting and pointing to Tyr.

“He said that she was not going to beat him but she did!” Balder said, doubling over

He was not like Tyr. Tyr was already showing signs of becoming a well proportioned, healthy and strong young man. Balder was ... as was his nature, he was chubby and had a little trouble with his weight. So he was panting heavily at the moment, even though he had run the same distance as his elder brother.

“But then...” he said, hands on his knees as he breathed “Tyr yielded and she still hit him!”

Frigga frowned and looked at Tyr.

“Why?” she asked “Did you say something to her?”

Tyr shook his head “No, Ma, just ... I wish to be by myself”

Odin watched as he moved past Frigga and went to his room, slamming the door shut.

The Queen flinched as he looked after him, her gaze filled with worry. As the years had passed, Tyr had become more distant towards her. Odin often told her that it was his age, but she feared it to be a more permanent thing.

Odin saw her thoughts as clear as day and decided that it might need a little intervention.

“Sit down Balder” Odin said, standing up “I will get you some water as soon as I dress Thor”

Sufficiently intimidated by the blood, Thor allowed Odin to dress him up, then take his helmet. Thick blonde hair all but glowed in the sunlight in the room once free from the confines of the helmet and Thor pushed them out of his eyes, placing his hands on his father’s shoulders to keep his balance. He turned to look to where Tyr had went, blinking big blue eyes.

“Is Tyr dead?”

Odin smirked and picked him up, holding him at his hip as he carried him to the side of their large suite.

There was a small kitchen there, not too big, installed years ago for their particular use. It had proved to be very handy when Frigga needed to warm milk or a late night meal for her boys. Odin found it a good place to hide – very unsuccessfully, Frigga would add – his mead. But for now, it was going to work in Balder’s favour.

Odin walked into the small, comfortable kitchen and everything lit up. Just like the air, even this kitchen was magic. The cabinets and cupboards were all glass and gold, the counters were spacious, even though it seemed that the kitchen was too small. Odin himself has witnessed the kitchen growing in size when there were more people inside than usual, and the ceiling shifted whenever he wanted, to show either the skies above or a vision of choice. The amenities were far grander versions of what Odin had seen on earth. There was a huge trunk before him, filled to the brim with hot or cold liquid. It turned, whatever was inside, into the drink of choice, so at the moment, it transformed from Odin’s ‘hidden’ mead into cold water for Balder.

Turning, he brought a glass to it, dipped it inside the metallic, magical trunk then shut the lid.

They had their pick of everything and Odin often indulged in buying things that the inventors created.

It was both a headache and a convenience for Frigga, since Odin would spend a fortune on things, insist she use them, then end up using them himself – the gods would laugh if they saw the great All Father baking date pudding for his wife.

Thor lay his head on Odin’s shoulder as he brought Balder his cold water and saw Frigga standing by Tyr’s door, trying to coax him into opening it.

So far, she was being ignored and Odin sighed because Tyr might have been in a rebellious phase, but it hurt his mother and there was little that could fix that.

Thor bucked in his grip and Odin realized that the ‘little that could fix that’ was in his arms. He kissed Thor’s cheek, smiling when the toddler giggled when his beard scratched him, and hit him.

“Papa, stop!” he giggled, smacking his head

Odin growled in laughter then bounced him

“Why don’t you go and give Mama a loving embrace?” he asked “Hmm?”

Thor looked at him, then nodded, smiling as he was let down.

He ran, screeching to his mother and hugged her tightly around the legs once he hit her with a loud thud.

“Mama, I gives you loving embrace!”

Frigga looked down at him, her eyes wide. Then her sadness melted away like snow on a hot day.

“Ah, my love” she said, turning and picking him up “I gives you a loving embrace”

Thor laughed and hugged her tightly, delighted by her gentle teasing, burying his face in her hair and playing with it.

Balder sat talking to Odin and drinking his water, telling him how his friend, Volstagg taught him to sit on an opponent until they yielded.

That had Odin laughing and once Frigga sat with them, Thor having juice out of something called a ‘Sippy Cup’ – Odin was not allowed to go to Midgard again – the mood that Tyr had set disintegrated into happiness.

Of course, no one noticed the door to the elder prince’s room open, just a little, and a resentful glare focused on the latest addition to their family.

***

Tyr noticed something very disturbing when Thor turned eight.

Balder was sitting with Thor – not him.

It was a subtle change, something no one else noticed, not Odin, not Frigga. But Tyr did.

All his life, Balder had followed him, relied on him, looked up to and loved him. He was Balder’s favourite.

Tyr recalled the night Odin and Frigga had told them that they were going to have another baby. He remembered being happy and he remembered missing the face Balder had made when they had been told.

Used to being the youngest and most doted on, Balder had felt his world collapse.

Odin had not seen it, but Frigga did and she had assured him that there was nothing that would ever come between them, their love was abundant enough for all babies.

Balder had nodded then, but late at night, as Tyr read his book, he’d heard the door open.

Tyr hadn’t looked up, long since used to having Balder come into his bed when he was scared. He automatically pulled down the covers and waited, lifting his hand to turn the page.

But he froze when he heard a sob, then looked up sharply, his face worried.

“Balder?”

Balder sat against the door, curled up and crying into his hands.

Tyr shoved off the covers, the forgotten book falling to the floor as he ran to his sibling.

“Balder, what happened?” he asked.

His icy eyes were filled with worry and red hair fell into his eyes as he fell on his knees before Balder, then pulled him into his arms.

Balder rubbed his face into his shoulder, his tears wetting Tyr’s nightwear. He was so upset that every sob made a crack form on Tyr’s heart.

“Oh, brother, it’s alright” Tyr said, holding him tightly “I’m here. Tell me what upset you? Was it a nightmare? Do you want me to kill the monster under your bed?”

Balder shook his head and sniffed, wiping his eyes “They will love the baby more than me”

It was a soft whimper, a sound filled with heartbreak and for a second, Tyr did not know what to do.

“Oh, darling, no”

He pulled away, just a little and wiped Balder’s eyes, his cheeks

“Oh, you damn fool, get up” he said gently.

He helped Balder stand up and led him to the bed, sitting him own before he rushed to the kitchen they had.

His bare feet made no sound and once he got there, he could smell the warm cake that Odin had no doubt made.

His father was a King, but in Tyr’s mind he was a warrior with the baking skills of a goddess.

He cut a slice for Balder, then opened the trunk to reveal it to be filled with milk.

Dunking Balder’s keg into it, he pulled it out, wiping the side before he closed it again and brought it to his brother.

It was unsaid that Balder liked sweets, the moment he saw the treats, all tears vanished and he sat up more firmly and took the plate and keg from Tyr.

“Alright” Tyr said “Let me tell you something”

Balder looked at him, a cake wielding fork halfway to his mouth.

“The baby will not change anything” he said, his voice firm “Sure, it might be noisy and smelly, but ...”

“They are used to it, thanks to you?” Balder piped in

“Yes, I ...”

Tyr frowned and looked at him

“You little...!”

Balder screeched and ran off the bed, cake in hand.

Tyr pretended he was too slow, sitting on the floor as though he gave up. He panted heavily for show, then fell back on the floor when Balder climbed back in bed.

He could hear him giggling and waited for a while before he spoke.

“Balder, they love you” Tyr said “Just like I do. Just because we are having a new baby does not mean it will diminish. It just means that they will have one more person who will love you. You are a smart, intelligent and wonderful young man, no one can ever fall out of love for you. Remember that, and remember that I will always be here for you.”

There was the clinking of the fork against the plate, then the dragging of the keg off the bedside table.

“You promise?”

Tyr looked at the direction of the bed “With my life”

He heard Balder’s sigh of relief and heard him move closer before he came to embrace him, putting his arms around him and holding him tightly.

“I promise, too...”

The clank of Odin’s juice keg on the table made Tyr jolt out of his reverie. He looked at his father who was chatting with Frigga, then back to his brothers.

Thor was trying to make his roast fly and Balder was ordering him not to.

Eighteen years old and losing his baby fat, Balder was turning into a young man. He would soon train and gain the confidence needed to fight off those that bullied him and leave Tyr behind.

Tyr was on borrowed time already and it was slowly being taken away by the blonde haired brat that sat at their table.

Stupid Thor.

Stupid, idiot Thor.

***

“Tyr, look!”

Tyr, twenty four years of age, looked up from where he was lounging on a bench in Frigga’s gardens, enjoying a pastry.

The garden was surrounded on all sides with plush trees, beautiful and lush. Their cool green leaves kept the air around the garden comfortable and an easy place to sit in. All three boys spent as much time here as they could on hot days and today, Thor was given his eldest brother as company.

To Tyr’s extreme dislike.

He had no patience with children. He had already decided to let his future wife handle such things. Children and taking care of others was not in Tyr’s nature. He was selfish and arrogant, so he simply had no time to cater to the needs of others.

Especially Thor.

The stupid new addition into their family.

He had ruined everything he and Balder had. All the love and friendship had been taken from him by a toddler who was too stupid to know anything.

Tyr’s eyes narrowed as Thor walked to him, holding something in his hands.

He was ten now, and as far as Tyr was concerned, he was a selfish, spoiled child.

His pudgy hands were muddy and he walked over to open them before Tyr and show him the prize inside.

It was a gold coin he had found buried in mud and earth. In his dirty hands it looked like a true treasure, that Thor no doubt thought it was.

“What is this?” Tyr asked, his voice unimpressed.

Thor quickly wiped the mud off, smearing it further on it “It is treasure. I found it over there”

He turned and pointed it out, where he had been digging

“Do you want to help me?” he asked “You can keep whatever you find”

Tyr scoffed “Go away, Thor, I don’t want to play with you”

Thor blinked at him, a little hurt. He didn’t know what Tyr was angry with him all the time, but he thought he might try and find out.

“Why not?” Thor asked “You play with your friends”

“I do not ‘play’ with my friends” Tyr said “ I am not a child. I spend time with them because I want to, which I cannot do at the moment because Mother told me to watch you while you play around in mud”

Thor blinked at him “Oh”

He lowered his hands, his eyes looking here and there before he looked back at Tyr.

“Maybe we can go to spend time with your friends together” Thor offered “Then we could both have fun”

Tyr laughed, the sound dry and bitter.

“No”

“Why not?” Thor asked “It will be fun”

“No, it will not” Tyr said, sitting up and facing Thor fully “Because you will be there. And wherever you go, fun fades away, so no. I would rather serve my sentence here than make my friends go through the torture of meeting a boy no one likes”

Thor felt his face heat up and the familiar prickling in his eyes “Don’t say that. They like me!”

Tyr gave a loud bark of laughter that made Thor flinch, looking at him as though his brother evil.

Which, to Thor, he probably was.

“Oh, Thor, you damn fool” Tyr laughed “No one likes you. Do you not wonder why you don’t have any friends?”

Tears started to fill Thor’s eyes and his lower lip quivered

“I have friends!”

“No, you do not!” Tyr said, his voice hard “Everyone hates you, Thor, no one likes you. You are a spare’s spare! You are not even a proper prince! You have no training, all you do is sit around Mother and eat! You are a pig Thor, nothing else!”

Thor gave a loud sob and hurled the mud and coin at Tyr in his rage.

“Be quiet!” sobbed “I am not a pig!”

There was silence at Tyr, who looked down at his tunic, saw the splat the mud had made. His anger, already simmering on the surface, bubbled over and he glared at Thor.

“You idiot!”

Tyr stood abruptly and shoved Thor back.

Thor cried out as he fell into the dirt, his child like voice filled with pain.

“How dare you hurl mud at me, you pig!?” Tyr said, grabbing Thor’s arm and shaking him “You spoiled, wicked little monster!”

Thor was crying loudly, his face red at the mistreatment. He tried tp push Tyr off but the man held on and it made the _baby_ cry.

“Let go!” he cried “Let go!”

Tyr gave him one last shake, then growled and let him drop.

Thor curled up on the ground and wept loudly into the grass, his body shaking with tears.

“You are a waste!” Tyr said “No one wants you!”

He kicked dirt at Thor before he spun on his heel and left, leaving Thor alone with his tears and dirt.

Thor cried into his hands even after Tyr left, his little body shaking with the force of his grief, his soul sliced because of what Tyr had said.

No one came for him – not even Frigga.

And it was dark, the insects biting him that eventually coaxed Thor to move. He stood and wiped his dirty face before he slowly started the lonely walk back home.

It was then he noticed that everyone who saw him, ignored him.

No one cared that he had been crying, no one stopped to ask him what was wrong. No servant looked at him and no maid turned his way.

Thor was alone in a palace filled with people.

He was alone.

***

“Watch it, Spare Son!”

Thor yelped as he was pushed into the dirt and mud, falling face first into it and dirtying the new clothes and clean hair he had worked on this morning.

Balder, who was sitting and reading under the shade, gasped and stood when he saw Tyr shove his brother into the dirt. It was a mean spirited and dirty trick and Balder walked over.

“Tyr!”

Twenty three years of age, Balder was a young man. He had lost all the weight that he had gained in his childhood and gained the confidence he did not have before. He was famed, everywhere, as the gentle prince, the charming and graceful young man who had won the hearts of many fair maidens.

Balder had a way with words and nature, but he also had a firm loyalty to Thor.

His brother had become the butt of all off Tyr’s mean jokes, often so harsh they bordered on cruel.

His friends laughed at Thor, they picked on him, they teased him and made it almost impossible for him to go out without being hurt.

Which was why Balder always went out with him, but that didn’t mean that it always protected the young prince.

For even now, twenty seven years old and a right bully, Tyr and his warrior friends guffawed as Thor pushed himself up, brushing the mud off his face and clothes, looking at his hand.

“Oh! Look, he’s going to cry!”

More laughter sounded after one of Tyr’s friends, Narvi, pointed to Thor, gaining him attention he didn’t want.

And to Thor’s shame, he felt prickling behind his eyes.

He was thirteen years old.

He did not need this.

Balder thought the same and stormed over to Tyr. He never attacked – he defended and Tyr was shocked when he came over and shoved him back.

“You idiot!” Balder snapped at him, his face angry “What was that for, huh!? Why did you do that!?”

Tyr’s friends still snickered, waiting for their prince to react, but Tyr didn’t.

The one person who meant more to him than his pride was Balder. Gentle, kind hearted and noble, Balder was the one person who Tyr had never teased, who Tyr had always defended and always bonded with him.

And it had killed him when he’d grown closer to Thor as the years passed and when he had left his side to talk to the Spare Son more than him.

Looking into his eyes now, he felt shame. Looking at Balder, at the rage in his eyes, the disappointment in his blue gaze, Tyr lowered his own gaze.

Balder was glowering at him, his face angry “Leave”

Tyr grit his jaw and felt horrible. He should had said sorry, but his arrogance forbade him.

Because Tyr never apologized, he spun around to face his friends.

“Stop snickering!” he snapped “Shut up and keep walking. I don’t need this!”

Balder glared at him till he left, taking his posse with him.

Then he turned and went to Thor.

He’d managed to get the worst of the mud off, but there was still some on his face and in his hair.

“Here, let me”

He came closer, with his handkerchief, but Thor batted him away, stepping back

“Leave me alone!” he said, his young pride hurt “I don’t need help”

Balder exhaled loudly “Thor, you look like a walking piece of...”

“I don’t care!”

Balder felt his heart jolt when he heard the tremor in Thor’s voice.

“He thinks this bothers me, it does not!” Thor said “He can do whatever he wants, I don’t care!”

Clearly, he did, because his facade was breaking.

These were the clothes Frigga had made for him; she had sat Thor down and taught him patience by making him stitch the hem.

Thor had fought her at first, but at the end, when Balder walked in, he was fully immersed into his task, sitting on the floor with his legs crossed while Frigga ran a brush through his hair.

His hair was one of the things Thor loved about himself.

It was sad, since no one played with him or talked to him.

Balder had walked to him more than once, to see more young people turn and walk away from him, leaving him standing there alone with whatever he had tried to show them. His eyes held hurt before he masked it and there was confusion inside him.

He couldn’t understand why no one wished to play with him.

Balder knew that it was because Tyr had so openly shunned and bullied him that everyone followed suit, but that knowledge did nothing for Thor.

The poor lad had no friends.

He walked the halls of the palace alone, he played his own games, he talked to himself. He had many toys but played with them alone, he fought in a secluded part of the training ring with a dummy and he watched, his eyes filled with longing as boys and girls his age all played and pranced about happily while he sat on a bench, holding whatever he’d pulled out of the ground or a wooden sword in his hands.

At night, he would have dinner with Odin and Frigga, listening to them talk about their day. He didn’t talk, barely responded to anyone other than Balder.

His parents and Balder were all he had.

And his hair.

It was long, reaching his waist, thick and blonde. Frigga could spend hours brushing and grooming it if Thor sat still long enough. She loved it just as much…

Just like she had loved the shirt Thor wore.

Thor was wiping mud off it more than himself and Balder sighed.

“Come”

This time, his grip was firm and though Thor glared, Balder didn’t let go.

Covered in mud and being led around by his brother made more boys and girls laugh at Thor, but the prince was used to it. He ignored them and walked alongside his brother, letting him lead him to the palace.

The palace was a grand masterpiece, with so much power and strength exuding from it that few had dared to try and sneak in.

It hadn’t ended well for them.

Balder led Thor up the steps of one of the numerous patios and into a hallway.

There were possibly a few servants behind the many, many pillars around and Balder caught sight of a maid not two minutes into his search.

“My dear, if you please”

The woman turned and blinked “My prince!”

She fell into a kneel and Balder shook his head “No, that is not needed, but i do need help with something.”

She looked at him, then at Thor and the youngest prince could have sworn he saw disappointment in her eyes.

“If you could help wash the stains out of this tunic, I would be honoured” Balder said “I have to take this one for a bath”

Thor made a loud, indignant noise and the woman giggled.

“Of course, my lord”

She followed them after and Thor glared at Balder throughout

“Why must you embarrass me?” he asked

“It’s my duty” Balder said, looking at him and winking “Do you not know? I have to torment you otherwise I will not go to Valhalla”

“Oh, that is utter bull...” he broke off when Balder’s head snapped to him, disbelief and threat in his eyes “...face”

Balder nodded “Good”

Thor kept silent the rest of the way as they were led forth, but spoke up when Balder took him into Tyr’s room rather than his own.

“Um...I think you may have made a mistake” he piped up “This is not my room”

“I know” Balder said calmly “Go stand in the bathtub”

Tyr’s bathing rooms were lavish. There was a huge tub that Tyr was very fond of, rather proud of the fact that it could hold seven people at once – he had tried – and had ten spouts that poured thick cascades of water, warmed or cold as the Crowned Prince demanded.

Asgard was not backwards in extravagance.

However, Thor was confused as to why he was here, but obeyed, going to stand in the bathtub as ordered.

He had on his shoes and clothes so the tub started to get messy rather quickly.

“Balder, I don’t think...”

He yelped a moment later when Balder turned on the water, dousing him completely when the water came out of a lion’s head spout directly above his head – Tyr liked his luxury.

“Balder!”

“Oh hush up, you will warm it up soon”

Thor glared as he was drenched, in the water, then focused on watching the mud slip off him.

It stained the bath tub, more so when Balder told him to stomp his feet and get rid of everything on his boots.

The maid stood and watched, sniggering every now and then, but biting her tongue.

“Alright” Balder told Thor, taking a towel from the rack beside the magnificent tub “Dry yourself and come out”

Thor eyed him wearily

“You wish to have Tyr kill me?” he asked, but took the towel nonetheless “Because he will”

Balder smirked “He will not. For if he tries, he will have to explain to Mother why you were covered with mud and dirt in the first place.”

Thor wiped his face, then looked down at the towel, making a face.

“He will kill me”

Balder made an irritated noise “No, he won’t. Now come on, you have a room to drag mud through”

Thor was still uncertain and Balder looked at the maid.

“Try and keep everyone busy when Prince Tyr asks this to be cleaned” Balder said, giving her a dashing smile “the palace is ever so busy”

She snickered and nodded, then followed them.

Her eyes were on Balder the entire way and Thor realized that his brother was more clever than he let on.

***

Tyr didn’t kill him.

He did worse.

***

Thor was preparing for bed.

He had taken a long soak in the bath after dinner, scrubbed himself clean, brushed his hair and plaited it with the help of Frigga before she retired to her part of the palace.

Since the boys were grown up, they were given an entire section of the Royal Suites to themselves. Each boy had his own large chambers, a kitchenette, a large bath, a smaller washing room, a lounging area and a dining area.

All of them were decorated to their specifications.

Tyr’s was adorned with his kills and trophies, his furniture black and silver to match his royal armour, large and accommodating. His walls were painted with murals of his great conquests, his floor was black marble and his windows huge, reaching the ceiling and embedded with stained glass, giving the entire room an ethereal sort of look. His bedchambers held a bed that could easily hold four people, a large four poster monstrosity that was often filled with one or two women – depending on Tyr’s mood.

Balder’s rooms were less extravagant, Thor spent a lot of his time there.

He had painted his walls himself, one landscape from each realm. He had ornaments, large and small, of animals and beautiful sculptures that he had commissioned. He had a room dedicated to his musical instruments and one to his library.

Thor had been banned from entering it when he set fire to it.

His bed chambers Thor had seen and often tried to make his own as tidy as they were. They were filled with everything Balder collected and cherished, everything Thor was allowed to _look_ at but not _touch_. They were beautiful items, all collected from Balder’s travels to different realms, all of extreme importance to the second prince.

Thor’s rooms were – well they resembled a cave more than a room – his clothes were scattered every which way, so were his boots. Whatever figurines he was fond of collecting were the only things placed in shelves. Books, scrolls and pens scattered on the ground. Brushes, long lost socks and other items that Thor was sure were plates, were placed everywhere.

Frigga had long since given up having it cleaned but once a month came over to make Thor clean it up before he went through the trouble of turning it back into a domestic warzone.

At the moment, clean and wearing his soft night tunic and trousers, he was standing by his bed, holding the tunic that had been washed and cleaned.

There was no trace of mud and the colour had not faded. It was as if nothing happened and Thor beamed before he went to his closet and opened it, pulling a few things aside so he could hang it inside carefully.

He was just closing the door when the double doors to his chambers banged open, startling him so badly he almost fell.

Thor spun around and froze when he saw Tyr enter, his angry eyes focused on him.

“You bastard!” Tyr yelled, advancing on him “What did you do to my room!?”

All of Balder’s assurances vanished and Thor retreated from his brother, keeping a safe distance and realizing that there was nothing wrong with retreat.

“I’m sorry!” Thor gasped

Tyr didn’t listen, he walked over and grabbed his arm

“Sorry will not be enough, you brat!” he shook him in anger “How dare you!?”

His hand was so tight around Thor’s forearm it would doubtlessly leave bruises and Tyr shook him hard in his rage, so hard that Thor’s head started to hurt.

“Let go of my arm!” Thor yelled, intimidated by Tyr “Tyr, let go!”

Tyr growled at him, angry.

True, his anger was stoked by someone else, but when he walked into his room to find everything muddy, his bathing room filled with the sticky mud, he had lost his temper and Thor was an easy outlet.

“You will clean it up!” Tyr yelled “Now!”

Thor shoved at him and managed to free himself, stepping back and glaring at his brother.

“I will not!” he said “I am a prince! I will not clean your stupid room! You started it, I finished it, that is it! I will not stand by and let you bully me anymore, you idiotic imbecile ! I will not! You deserve to be taught a lesson!”

He was so angry he wanted to _murder_ Thor.

“And you will teach me a lesson, you ass!?” Tyr shouted “Is that why you did it!? You ruined my bear skin! It was precious to me!”

“So?” Thor asked rudely “I don’t care! It was worth it when I walked over it, just to see your face!”

The sound of Tyr’s control snapping was almost audible. His eyes turned murderous and everything he was holding back, the desire not to hurt Thor, vanished into smoke.

He gave a loud roar of anger and lashed out, hitting Thor hard across the face.

Thor gave a loud, painful yelp and fell to the floor, holding his cheek. His eyes were shocked and he was stunned. He lay there, looking at his shaking hands, his breathing coming out in quick gasps as he tried to comprehend what the hell just happened to him.

It turned out to be a mistake.

“You think you can get away with doing something like that!?” Tyr demanded “Dirty Runt!”

Thor sobbed loudly when Tyr walked over, and a loud, high pitched bark escaped him when Tyr grabbed his hair and pulled him up on his knees.

“Let go!”

“I will teach you something instead”

Thor’s eyes went wide and he screamed when he felt Tyr grip his hair tighter, then slash through it, a second after Thor heard him pull out his dagger.

“No!”

It did no good, Thor could feel it, he heard the horrid shear as Tyr sliced through his plait, cutting it untidily from one end to the other, hacking off his precious hair.

Thor gave another painful cry when Tyr let him go, falling to the floor, his hands going to his head.

“No!” Thor yelled “No, no, no no!”

It was gone, it was all gone!

Tyr threw his braid at him and turned to leave, his feet stomping on the ground. He didn’t look behind him and Thor lay there, on the floor, curled up and crying into his hands, his teenaged form wracked with heavy sobs.

He was in pain, he was in shock and when he heard thumping footsteps, he gave a loud, frightened whimper and backed away, thinking Tyr had returned for another round.

“Oh, stars...”

Balder’s voice was filled with pain, his eyes were shocked.

Many times he had thought of Tyr’s spite against Thor harming the third prince, but never this.

“Oh, Thor, I’m so sorry”

He came to kneel by him, gently pulling him into his arms.

The poor boy was cold and shaking, his voice breaking with sobs, his eyes wet with tears. He gave no resistance when he was offered warmth, turning and holding Balder tightly as he wept, letting out his fear and helplessness.

Balder was reading when he had heard Thor scream and ran in, expecting something awful.

This was ...

There were no words to describe what this was.

Thor sniffed and hid his face against Balder’s chest, letting his brother hold him as he cried.

“He cut off my hair...” Thor cried “He cut of my hair!”

Balder sat down properly and hugged the poor child to his chest, rocking him, rubbing soothing circles on his back.

“I am so sorry” he gasped “I am so sorry”

Thor’s braid lay twisted at their feet and Balder could not look away from it.

Thor only cried louder, traumatized and scared beyond belief.

Tyr had changed his perception of him in one night. In one single night, Tyr had transformed into something else for Thor.

“I’m sorry”

He had done this.

“Forgive me”

This was his fault.

This was all his fault.

***

The incident left its mark on Thor.

He stopped talking.

Frigga and Odin had demanded he tell them why he cut his hair and he had lied.

It looked like a girls, he said, he wanted it shorter.

It was clear his mother didn’t believe him, for his eyes were swollen and his voice was dead.

Later in the same month, Thor stopped talking completely.

He replied only when spoken to, otherwise sat silently.

Every day, he got dressed and went out of the palace, to go and sit somewhere, watching everyone else play.

He didn’t dig around in the dirt, he didn’t play with anyone.

He just sat there, on a bench, in the corner of a balcony, on the edge of a fountain, silent as the stars, his mind blank.

Tyr hadn’t apologized for what he had done.

He and Balder had a huge fight and Balder told him to go to hell. He was dead to him anyway.

And whatever hope was left in Tyr’s heart was crushed when he saw his brother turn around and walk away from him, leaving him standing in his room alone.

Once Balder had left, Tyr had kicked over a vase in anger and cursed himself over and over.

But he hadn’t apologized. In his mind, he was right to do this to Thor.

But he knew naught of the true damage done to his brother by his hand.

He didn’t realize that he had scared and hurt Thor so deeply that nothing could fix him.

Odin and Frigga had asked Thor what had happened so many times that he had started to believe the lie he told him.

It was a phase.

It would end.

But it wasn’t and no matter how much Thor tried to convince himself, there was no way for him to fix this.

So, when the stars themselves fixed it for him, it was a miracle.

It happened on the eve of his fourteenth birth year.

The stars had more mercy for him than anyone else and Thor would forever be grateful.

He had been sitting with a platter of chocolate cakes in his hand, in the gardens his mother loved tending to so much. Frigga was planting her roses and Balder was whistling to a few birds that sat in the trees, trying to convince them to come down to him.

He wanted to make them sit on Thor’s head to try and cheer him up.

The boy had gone into a state where he barely came out of his room, barely talked, barely ate. He looked and felt weak and more often than not, Balder would have him crawl into his bed because he couldn’t sleep alone at night.

He kept seeing things that were not there and it killed Balder, knowing that his own brother was the cause of this.

It hurt, seeing Thor like this, it broke him.

That night, he had sat behind Thor, trimming the ends of his hair as Thor wept into his hands. Balder’s own eyes were filled with tears as he worked and later, he had embraced Thor tightly, told him to sleep in his room because the mere thought of the trauma he went through would keep Balder up all night.

Thor had said no at first, but later, when his shaking couldn’t be controlled, he had agreed, letting Balder help him to his room. He’d gotten under the covers and Balder had sat next to him, massaging his back, brushing his much shorter hair back and trying to get him to calm down.

But Thor had been broken, he was twisted up inside and the pain that it induced was nearly blinding.

Even at this moment, he sat there, his eyes were focused on his mother, his stance defeated, watching as she planted rose after rose and looked graceful doing it.

“Thor”

Frigga’s voice made Balder look at her

“Come help me, dear” she said “I need you to hold this for a few moments”

Thor stood, lifeless, and walked to where she was, leaving his platter behind.

He came to sit on his knees beside her, holding the bucket when she gave it to him.

“Now make sure the water does not fall off the sides” she said “Like this”

She cupped some in her hand and threw it at Thor’s face.

Thor spluttered and gasped, looking at her shocked.

For a second Balder thought it had failed, then a rare grin came over Thor’s face.

He gripped the bucket tighter and Frigga’s eyes widened

“Oh no, you don’t!”

She stood and fled, Thor giving chase not a second after.

Frigga screeched and yelled, running away from Thor, going around flower bed after flower bed as her son chased her around.

“Thor, put that down!”

Thor only laughed and continued, fully intent of hurling the water at her.

And Frigga, the old conniving witch she was, came to a stop before Balder.

“You can’t aim!” she threatened

Balder’s eyes widened a moment before he realized his mother’s trick.

“Thor, wait!”

Thor, who had planted his feet firmly on the ground and was completely ready to hurl the water, didn’t hear him.

Frigga jumped out of the way and Balder yelled as he was drenched from top to toe, leaving his clothes pasted to him after Thor hurled the entire bucket at him.

Thor stood there, his eyes and mouth rounded in surprise, as Balder opened one eye to look at him, drenched in water.

An unladylike snort sounded from the side and Frigga giggled at them both.

Balder and Thor looked at her, then at each other and identical evil grins covered their faces.

Frigga had no warning.

She yelped in surprise as Balder suddenly ran to her and lifted her up on his shoulder and Thor led the way.

“Put me down!” she demanded, her voice still filled with laughter “Balder, I will box both your ears, I swear it!”

But Balder only ran faster as Thor led the way and not a second later, they reached their intended place.

Birds flew off the trees as Frigga shrieked, when Balder took a running leap into the large pool that was flanked her gardens, clothes, mother, boots and all.

Thor was on the edge, clapping and jumping on the spot, laughing so hard his face had turned red. He doubled over and ended up falling on his rump, watching as both Balder and Frigga emerged from beneath the surface.

She looked like a very expensive cat drenched in water and Balder looked like a ... well, Balder.

Both of the boys were laughing at her and she slit her eyes, her hands thrumming with a spell that would turn their ears blue, when something happened.

It had never happened before, not in her time or Odin’s or even Bor.

But the sky suddenly turned white, illuminating everything in a splendid, ivory, the very colour of the stars.

Thor, Balder and Frigga looked up, shielding their eyes when it seemed that the sun itself had detached and was now falling, hurtling towards them.

People started to scream as a relaxing afternoon turned to terror and the shadows cast by everything vanished, before slashing across the ground as the white flame, it seemed, went past, heating up all of Asgard for a second before it vanished, heading for and falling on the horizon before going out.

The world slowly regained colour again, it regained sound again and Frigga looked to her sons, both of whom were shocked, their eyes fixed on her.

For a second, she did not understand, but when she looked down upon her, person, her mouth slowly parted in shock.

The pool had dried up.

There was no water around them and just as everyone else screamed and yelled in fear, Frigga realized this was as dangerous as it seemed.

***

Odin, of course, had prepared a party.

His sons were with him, of course, both Balder and Tyr were ready for anything that could be and probably would be faced by them. Frigga was with them too and along with her, on a horse of his own, Thor sat, waiting for the signal that would send the small army off.

The matter was certainly serious because the entire Royal family was going to investigate. Everyone had expected Thor to stay behind since he had no experience or anything in matters such as these. They also expected Prince Balder to stay behind, to take care of the third prince since he was too young to be left on his own.

Yet he accompanied his parents and brother, riding along side them when their group went on.

The group consisted of brave and trusted men and women.

Other than the royal family, there was Sif, Volstagg, Hogun and Fandral – Balder’s friends.

Sigyn, Theoric and Narvi were Tyr’s comrades and all of them were well trained and waiting for the moment to see what had taken the happiness away from Asgard.

Two guards rode with Thor, just in case, and Frigga and Odin took the lead.

Thor was in the middle, Tyr and his friends behind him, Balder and his friends in front of him.

Narvi, the one second to Tyr in tormenting Thor, sneered

“What happened to your lovely hair, Prince?”

Thor tensed and up ahead, Sif turned, just a little, showing that her attention was on the conversation going on behind her.

Up ahead, Balder had heard nothing, so he rode on.

Thor blushed brightly but kept his mouth shut.

“It suits you” Narvi said, the man’s grey eyes focused on Thor “Shows you are a man, not a girl”

“And what is wrong with being a girl?”

Sif’s voice cracked through their conversation and Thor looked up, shocked that someone was defending him ... _him_ the spare son!

His eyes were focused on her, on the beautiful woman who had taken time out of her ride to _defend him_.

It was – unrealistic.

Narvi seemed to think so, too, because he spluttered a few times before he could speak.

“Oh, my lady, I did not mean it that way” he said, thinking himself safe if he insulted Thor “I was merely telling Thor he looks like a man now”

Sif was beautiful, she was stunning in both looks and intellect and more than one man was after her – including Narvi.

So she had an edge.

And it was showing in her dangerous gaze.

“You insult him right before his father” she said “I wonder what happens if he hears what you just said, hmm? He will not take as kindly to it as Tyr does”

Tyr blinked, looking at her.

He hadn’t been paying attention as he was looking aside and frowned.

“Pardon?”

Sif scoffed and ignored him, then looked at Thor

“Come here, Highness” she said, moving her horse to the side “For if I talk to that ugly toad behind you I might retch”

Thor smiled at her and made his horse, a beautiful mare Balder had given him, move to trot beside Sif’s.

His eyes were looking at her and she smiled before she ruffled his hair.

“Pleasant company, no?” she asked

Thor laughed softly “Better smelling, too”

He had expected a giggle, but Thor was surprised when Sif burst out laughing, Fandral joining her, too.

Thor looked at him, not understanding why he was laughing.

Maybe he was making fun of him, too.

Thor looked away, knowing there was nothing he could do if that was the case.

Sif seemed to notice his mood and nudged him

“Are you alright?”

Thor looked at her and nodded “I’m fine”

“You are thinking about something” she said “And I can see it upsets you”

Thor furrowed his brow and shook his head “It’s nothing I can’t handle”

“Really?”

It was Fandral this time and Thor mentally prepared himself for a rebuke or something worse.

“Because I can easily believe that” the dashing man smiled.

He was older than Thor, a year older than Balder, actually, but they were close since they were children.

Thor had spoken to him a few times but this was the first time Fandral initiated conversation with him.

“You can take on more than you think”

“I agree” Sif said “I can already see your name in the brightest of stars – The Mighty Thor”

“Or the Warrior Prince of Asgard”

Thor, unused to this, had no idea what to say, and watched both of them interact with them, with each other before he looked back down at his horse.

She was following the horses in front of her and Thor let her.

There was a lot on his mind, right now, the primary thought on what had invaded Asgard and _why_ had he felt a tug in his chest when it had flown above their heads.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gain, Love and more Gain

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I literally didnt post an entire chapter. This is the one I missed, I am SO SORRY

What they saw when they reached their intended place was something that shocked nearly all of them.

The sky had always been blue in Asgard, something people had often told each other was to match the stunning azure eyes that the royal bloodline passed on from one to another. But here, right above the place where the mysterious object had landed, the skies had changed.

No longer were they a beautiful blue hue, but grey.

A solid, depressing, immovable grey that was pulsating in time with a thrum no one knew the origin of. It went out in waves, hitting them gently.

It was thudding, the closer they got to where that _thing_ had landed, and became louder with every step their horses took forward.

Odin, of course, raised a hand when they reached the rim of a huge crater that had not been there before. Behind him, the small army stopped and Frigga leaned forward to try and have a look without moving too much.

“Tyr”

Tyr was off his horse in a second and at his father’s side. His weapons, two lances, were at his back and the thrill of a battle lay in his eyes.

“Take two men and set up a perimeter” Odin ordered “I am not to be disturbed”

“Yes, my lord” Tyr bowed his head, set a hand on Odin’s forearm as a sign of respect before he headed off, nodding his head to Narvi and Sigyn.

Both warriors were off their horses in a single leap, going after their prince, jogging to where he led them. Their footsteps were sure and they separated, each man using his weapon to create markings that they would guard until Odin told them otherwise.

Balder looked at his friends and gave them a nod.

Volstagg moved his horse ahead, heading to the right to where Sigyn was and Hogun went to the left.

Sif and Fandral stayed where they were and Balder moved his horse closer to Odin.

“What do you think it is?” he asked

Odin looked at him, at the way his back was straighter than Tyr’s and his voice more respectful than his elder’s. Then he looked to the alien object before them.

“I have no clue” the old king said “but we will find out soon enough”

Balder looked at him and watched him descend from his steed, taking his staff and heading towards the formed crater.

Frigga gave a startled gasp and Thor looked at her, moving his mare closer and gently taking her hand. She said nothing, neither did he, but she clenched his hand tightly and he squeezed back, letting her know he was there with her.

Balder followed, always loyal, his father and both of them stood on the edge of the crater, looking down.

There was nothing but white light at the moment, but Odin presumed it to be an orb of some kind.

Magical, no doubt, he could _feel_ the energy it gave off.

And it thrummed, two thuds after a second’s break, continuously.

He frowned and looked at it, something very close to dread running up his spine.

“It’s …” he broke off “it can’t be…”

Balder looked at him, a furrow in his brow, confusion and apprehension upon his features.

“Father?” he prompted when Odin went silent, looking at the thing before them “What is it?”

Odin was silent, his single blue gaze focused on the being before them.

Being, yes.                       

Odin was correct in using that word.

“It’s alive” he whispered.

Few things made the Allfather wary and the fact that this did, made the hair at the back of Balder’s neck stand on end. His father looked _disturbed_ and Balder almost looked back at their mother.

The only reason he didn’t, was because he knew she would panic if she saw the anxiety in his gaze.

“How is that possible?” Balder asked “It fell from the skies, it …”

He looked towards the thing again, listening to the thudding sound it made.

He had heard that sound before, it was familiar, he heard it every day, every time he breathed, he heard it.

The same thud.

So familiar and at the moment, so frightening.

“It’s a heartbeat…” Balder whispered, as though anything louder would shred the peace that was upon them.

“I hear it” Odin said “Yet, I cannot believe it”

Balder’s face was aglow, just like his father’s, cast in sharp relief by the light emanating from … whatever it was that lay before them. He looked at Odin.

“What are we to do?” he asked

“Take everyone back” Odin said “You me and Tyr will stay here. Either you or your brother accompany them back. Tell them nothing of this. Tell them it was a star, fallen from the sky, nothing else. I will not have anyone panic before it’s time”

“Before it’s time?” Balder smirked, trying to lighten the situation “You mean to tell me they will?”

“Well” Odin grimaced “You are involved, so naturally they will”

Balder laughed, so did Odin, releasing some of their tension.

Odin sighed and ran a hand down his beard, smoothing it down.

There was static in the air and it affecting them. Even Balder’s hair was slowly standing up.

Odin had no idea what it meant but he would find out.

“Once you have departed, I will…”

“So, what is it?” Thor suddenly came between them, looking down.

Odin looked at him, his mouth opened to order Thor back to his mother when everything changed.

The air around them became heavier, and once more, everything began to heat up.

The thudding, the heartbeat of whatever was down there began to grow excited, filling the air with the thumping sound, slowly escalating, going higher and higher.

“Get back!” Odin shouted, grabbing both his sons and retreating.

The horses began to panic, they moved backwards, bumping into each other and to fear each other. Frigga tried to control her beloved pet, but the horse began stop her feet, trying to buck her off, trying to get the stifling weight off her back so she could escape.

Fandral tried to jump off his own steed but the animal was slowly giving into the terror and made it impossible for him to gain enough balance to leap off it.

Balder turned and saw it, running away from Odin and heading straight for them.

“Calm!” he ordered, his hands splayed out in surrender “Calm yourselves!”

The horses looked at him, one by one, all of them looked at him, slowly comprehending what he was saying, slowly calming themselves to obey him. Their jumping turning to short hops and looking him in the eye, all of them stopped panicking, losing track of the environment in favor of focusing on him.

Their riders jumped off them, not wanting to scare the animals more, giving them the space they needed so Balder could fix them.

Behind them, where everything happened in a flash, the object that everyone was afraid of at the moment, the ‘star’ as Odin has termed it began to vibrate.

The King looked at it, his eye wide as energy began to pulsate outwards, hitting them with enough energy to knock them back a few steps.

Thor in his grip, Odin was shocked when he saw it glow brighter and brighter, the heat rise higher and higher until Odin felt it bruise his skin.

And he knew, right then, as the static made the air crackle that this was not a star. This was not alien.

There was only one thing that could do what this was doing at the moment.

Lightning

This was lightning itself.

A second after his revelation, the lightning shot up into the skies.

Odin pulled Thor behind him, an arm raised above his face to protect himself from the scorching heat, his staff dropped to the ground.

Tyr ran forward, Sigyn and Narvi in tow as all three men ran forth to help.

Tyr snatched Thor, pulling him back and taking him to safety. Sigyn and Narvi pulled Odin back, just as the lightning above them changed direction.

Instead of going higher, it switched, turning itself like a snake, its trail coiling in the air as it looked down upon the people.

Aye

It _looked_

And it aimed right for them.

Odin gasped and ran for his staff, jumping, his body soaring through the air as he leapt forth, wanting to get to it before it hit them.

But alas, nothing is faster than lightning.

“Look out!”

Frigga’s terrified scream made Tyr look up and his eyes widened as he it saw it head _right for him_

He shoved Thor to safety, knowing there was no way he was going to survive this.

But it never came to him.

Thor was on the ground and looked up over his shoulder to see what had happened when it came for him.

All that escaped him was a gasp and all he heard was a cry, but what he felt overtook them all.

He felt energy thrum inside him, he felt power surge into him, he felt the hit when the lightning slammed into him and he felt the bond forge within him even as he was hurled ten feet into the air.

He hit the ground amid the screams of his own family, dust and dirt rising from around him but the only thing in his mind was a single word.

A name

An explanation

***

Of course nothing could ever describe a mother’s tears.

Yet, Balder found words that were rather apt, as he scolded Thor, yelled at him and told him that he damned near killed himself because he just _didn’t listen!_ It was entertaining to watch, if nothing else, as the entire royal family, all the members of the small expedition and a maid who had fainted upon sight of them, sat in the healing chambers.

Thankfully, the palace healers were one of the few who had almost nothing to work on save a sore through or aching limbs every now and then, but today, the halls were abuzz with chatter, scolding and the occasional snicker.

Thor was alright, Frigga would never stop thanking the norns, but everyone else sported either heavy or light burning.

The lightning had made the air so hot there was no escaping the burns. No one other than Thor was spared and they blamed it on the fact that he was too far away when that thing zoomed past.

Yet, there was proof that it was more than that.

For beside his bed, sitting where no one else would be able to move it, where Thor had placed it, rested a hammer.

Odin had nearly driven himself into sleep when he had seen it, Frigga was intrigued and Tyr had found a new mission in his life when he laid eyes upon it.

It was thick, silver and always thrumming with the energy inside it.

When Thor had been thrown back and when the dust had cleared, it had rested on his chest, not hurting him, barely even applying its weight on him.

Yet they knew it weighed more than Asgard itself.

Because there was a higher chance of someone lifting the palace, but not this hammer.

Not Mjolnir.

Thor had gasped loudly, expecting to be dead, when it had hit him.

And once he had sat up and seen it, he knew.

This was his.

Mjolnir was his.

The respect and command she carried – Thor insisted on calling her a she because yes, she was alive – was all his.

There were questions.

The norns knew how many questions the poor boy had to answer once he had regained his strength enough to speak, but he could not answer them all.

Frigga had drowned him in the most inquiries, of course, then proceeded to smack his head, his arm and pull him into a vice like embrace that Thor swore, had made him shrink two sizes.

It had lightened the mood and everyone – including Tyr – had let out a long sigh of relief.

Then Odin had turned to the hammer.

Frigga had Thor in her arms and Balder was looking him over, trying to find cuts or bruises or burns on him. There were none, but that did not stop him from being overprotective.

Odin had tried to lift the hammer but he could not and it had come as a shock because Thor had done it not a two minutes ago.

At first, no one noticed, then Tyr went still, watching as his father tried and failed to pick up a simple hammer.

Flashes of the Allfather growing weak went through his mind and Tyr watched, as slowly but surely, Odin lost to a weapon.

There was once no weapon that Odin could not conquer, now he was hammered down.He strained and changed positions, he used magic and when he failed to lift it, he tried his other hand, set his staff upon it but nothing. Nothing happened.

Thor had stood, clasped loosely between his mother’s arms, his eyes widened by shock.

His father was unable to lift the hammer he had picked up off his chest a while ago.

It was stunning, to watch and no one knew how to react.

Odin stopped then, slowly turning to look at them all, before his gaze fixed on Thor.

There was no anger, Thor had feared there would be, just curiosity.

“Pray, come pick this hammer up, Thor” Odin had said gently

Thor was uncertain

His heart was pounding and he looked at his father, so hesitant that it bordered on being afraid.

Thor was nothing!

If Odin couldn’t lift it, Thor wouldn’t be able to either. He was nothing but a brat, he was a spare son. Perhaps there was a mistake, perhaps he was dreaming, but he knew in his heart that someone like him – small, worthless and not worthy of respect – could never hold something and lift it up when his own father could.

But Odin had only gestured him forward and with a nudge by his mother, Thor had been moved forward.

The hammer taunted him, he could feel the thrumming, the power, yet he knew he could not pick it up. He was going to be humiliated.

His only savior was the fact that he was used to humiliation and would know exactly how to deal with it.

Thor took one step forward, then another and another…and before he knew it, he was there, standing before the weapon, looking down at it.

Behind him, burned and charred by the very thing Thor was attempting to pick up, stood his family, stood warriors and guards.

They all watched.

They would all see his failure.

Upon Odin’s prompting Thor had reached out and taken a hold of the hammer.

He felt there was no apt way to describe what happened next.

To him, Thor felt as though a hand had come forth from the shaft of the hammer and held his wrist, gripping him tightly, ally to ally, until he gained the confidence to lift it.

And Mjolnir was raised high.

Thunder and lightning clashed above him and Frigga let out a gasp of wonder as it surged downwards, hitting the hammer, coursing all around Thor, never touching, never harming.

They all jumped back, all of them, and watched as he was turned from Thor the Spare Son.

To Thor – god of Thunder.

He was crowned a god by the norns themselves and once he lowered Mjolnir, once his claim was set on the hammer, he looked at his family, his mouth hanging open as he stared on wonder.

Frigga was the one who came to him first.

He dropped Mjolnir to embrace her, then Balder, then laughed when his brother picked him up and spun him around.

Laughter filled their hearts, excitement grew upon them.

And it formed something that was never possible, something dark.

Something that wasn’t connected to the hammer, but the insecurity that came with not being able to move it.

Odin was watching Mjolnir as though she was something he needed.

Not Thor.

And from that moment on, even as the norns gave something to Thor, they took something far more important away.

Not that Thor had noticed, no one had.

Even now, he sat, watching as Frigga commanded the healers with the air of a military general. She wanted all of them treated and well enough to move out of the halls by tonight – no exceptions.

So, the poor and every efficient healers were fast at work while Thor sat, listening to Balder yell at him, then tell him he was important, then yell again.

Balder had a burn on his arm and the fact that he was being tended to as he scolded his brother only made Thor smile until it became too apparent. Then he had to hide it and pretend he was upset by what Balder was saying.

This lasted for as long as the warriors were being treated and afterwards, as the royal family sat in peace, Frigga paid all the due attention she had to, to her husband.

Tyr made a face “Can you not do that when we are on the room?”

“Why?” Odin said, smiling “This is how you were conceived. Accept it”

Chairs scraped on the floor and Frigga burst out laughing as all three of her sons headed to the door.

Their faces were red, so were their ears, and

they headed out, snapping the doors shut behind them. There were some things that simply did not need knowing.

Odin joined in his wife’s laughter but there was something missing in it.

There was something added to Odin that was not very pleasant.

And even he hesitated in calling it what it truly was.

***

A grand feast was thrown.

In honor of the soon to be god prince Thor.

Everyone was there, everyone in Asgard and all nine realms were invited.

The palace looked phenomenal. To honor him, hand woven, patterned beautiful red carpets were placed on the flooring, covering the golden marble and giving them Thor’s colors. The linings upon the carpets were silver and glowed whenever someone walked over them. It gave the halls an added element of magic and delighted everyone who came to attend.

The food was fantastic, the decorations splendid and the great hall filled with people, all of whom wanted to have a moment to look upon the hammer and to see it in all its glory.

Thor, looking absolutely handsome in a red coat and black trousers, tailored specifically for him, had placed Mjolnir upon a pedestal. He was the in the spotlight tonight, the sole subject for everyone’s attention. And he was basking in it.

He was grinning and smiling as children of all ages came to him, laughing and talking to him animatedly, looking into his eyes as they spoke and listened when he talked.

They _listened_

He didn’t know how to talk at first but when a few people had joined in and prompted him for more details, he had quickly picked up and now stood, surrounded by the children of royal families and nobles, daring them to pick up the hammer and laughing when they couldn’t.

Of course, once they gave up, he held their hands under his own and helped them lift it, not being someone who gloated.

He just wanted to make friends.

There was one boy, a grey eyed little hellion from the far lands of Alfhiem, the son of an important merchant, who came to investigate.

He was sixteen, two years older than Thor, and walked over with an air that Thor recognized as Tyr’s.

“So this is the famous hammer?” he asked, his voice more of a taunt than anything “Everyone is talking about it, I thought it would be bigger.”

Thor looked at him, polite as always “The size of it does not matter. Its strength does.”

The boy scoffed “Who told you to say that? Your Mother?”

A few children giggled but Thor remained silent.

As much as he wanted to punch the boy, it was not right.

Balder had taught him more self-control than that.

“No one can lift it then?” The boy continued.

When no one spoke, he scoffed “Alright then, let me show you how to break this paltry trick”

His name was Alaric and he has little to no sense of courtesy. A few children moved out of the way while Alaric came to try his luck.

He walked to the hammer with the confidence that came from bullying and took a hold of the hammer, keeping both his hands on the shaft.

Across the hall, past the segregation that kept children from adults, Tyr looked up from the woman he was talking to.

He looked back to her, his drink in hand, blue eyes focused on the woman before him, taking her appearance in and wondering whether or not to take her to bed. She was willing enough and since most of the guests were staying over, it would be no problem.

Aye, the guests were staying over. For Thor had asked for this to be a party where all the royal children would spend the night in his room, playing games, laughing talking and eating.

Thor had not asked for anything for a year so Frigga had wasted not a breath and agreed. Odin hadn’t been there, otherwise he would have agreed too, she was sure.

So Thor had gotten what he wanted and the servants had gotten orders to do exactly as the prince asked.

And then a transformation had started.

A lounge room had been changed to fit the needs of teenaged children. There was an entire buffet table, to be set once everyone else retired. Mattresses and thick pallets littered the floor, complete with fluffed up pillows and thick blankets so everyone stayed warm.

There had been two wide staircases leading from the doors to the lounging area, now, with the help of magic, one had been turned into a smooth, slippery slide.

It was made to be a night to remember and Thor had been excited to join his friends inside.

Friends

He could call them that.

Tyr had noticed how excited he was and he noticed how that boy, that Alaric was currently getting angrier and angrier about the fact that he could not lift Mjolnir.

And it was clear who he was going to blame.

“Beg pardon” Tyr said, smiling upon the woman who was currently running her fingers down his arm “I wish to see my brother, then return to you”

He kissed her hand when she pouted at him, then turned and walked to the place where the children were gathered. Deftly placing his drink on the tray of a passing waiter, there were so damn many Tyr felt like he was tripping on them, he hastened his pace.

Alaric was suddenly the butt of all the children’s’ laughter. For someone who was so mouthy was suddenly reduced to being unable to pick up a hammer. It was making him angry.

Just like before, Mjolnir stayed still, the only thing that moved was Thor as he came over to try and give him a hand.

Good naturedly, of course.

“Let me help” he sniggered softly

Alaric turned and shoved him back “This is a trick! It is clearly glued to the pedestal!”

Thor rubbed his chest, the spot where Alaric had shoved him throbbing a little

“It is no trick” he said “I told you what happened”

Alaric rolled his eyes “Aye, a falling star gave you that hammer, how dramatic”

He gave the hammer another tug, letting go when it didn’t move.

“You ever wonder why it came to you?”

Thor immediately answered “Because I am worthy”

Alaric gave a bitter laugh “Nay, it’s because no one likes you. This is a pity gift, nothing else”

The pride went out of Thor’s eyes and he looked at him, wanting to retort. He would have if they hadn’t been interrupted.

“Oh, greetings, children”

The children all gasped and all but cheered when they saw Tyr talking to them.

Tyr!

The beloved crowned prince!

The one everyone liked.

They rushed to him, especially the young girls, fawning over him and immediately leaving Thor behind.

Thor stood there, watching and waiting for his brother to leave. He knew he was here just to ruin Thor’s fun, nothing else, so he would simply wait for him to go before he talked to his friends again.

Tyr, ever the charming man, talked to the children until he had his fill before he looked at Alaric.

“Are you Alaric?” he asked, his blue eyes focused on him “Your mother sent me. She wishes that I show you my trophies”

The other boys watched him with envy and Alaric all but puffed up, inflated further by his ego.

“I would love to accompany you” he said “It’s better than a stupid hammer, anyway”

“Can we accompany you?” the second prince of Vanahiem asked “We would like to see, too”

Tyr laughed “Oh nay, young Alaric is the only one I will allow into my room”

There were groans of disappointments from the others while Thor stayed silent, watching his brother leave as magnificently as he had entered.

Tyr walked along with Alaric, nodding to his mother and father as he passed, taking the boy out. Alaric waved to them and walked along with the first prince of Asgard, not even trying to muffle his excitement.

The beautifully decorated halls were passed without a single glance.

They were for Thor – he was of next to no importance anyway.

Alaric looked around and then looked at Tyr, keeping up with him.

“So how come Mother told you to cater to me?”

Tyr hummed and waited as they passed a few maids before he turned to a corridor to the right.

Without warning, he grabbed Alaric around the throat, ignoring his yelp and slammed him into the wall.

“Listen to me and listen well, you little bastard” he hissed, looking into his eyes “And understand what I am going to say”

Alaric wiggled in his grip, straining to shove him off, but he was no match. Few were, when Tyr truly attacked and at the moment, he was.

“This is Thor’s feast, his day” he said “So if you think you can make him feel bad about something as magnificent as Mjolnir, you are wrong. I will make sure, to personally, skin you alive and feed you to the royal dogs if you come within an inch of him tonight. I will scalp you and have you choke on your own blood and you know I can do it because I can see it in your beady little eyes”

Alaric’s eyes were wide and he was staring at him, going pale. He imagined it, imagined everything he said because not only had he heard of everything that Tyr had done in battle, but because Tyr was threatening him.

Tyr, one of the most feared warriors in all the realms, was threatening him!

He nodded, his hair dislodging itself from whatever style he had made it up, and raised his hands to show his surrender.

“Stay away from my brother” Tyr said “Or I will kill you”

He gave him once last shove and let go.

The frightened boy slid to the floor, staring listlessly ahead.

He had walked here expecting tonight to be taking a different turn than the one it had just taken.

Tyr looked at him to make sure he was sufficiently intimidated before he headed back to the rooms where the feast was taking place

And back at the hall, where Thor has relaxing in Tyr’s absence, a plot was forming.

He stood there with his emeralds and diamond diadem upon his forehead, gems knit into the clothes he wore, the elegant, beautifully fitting costume that he had chosen to wear tonight.

His brow was high and proud, pale as the snow he came from, gently moving as his expressions changed.

His eyes, green as a witch’s spell, glimmered in the light and his mouth, pale pink and supple, moved with practiced ease, taking the attention of everyone in the room.

His smile was easy, his movements graceful and the kaftan he wore was studded with more jewels, all signifying his status as a Prince. The beautiful, stunning, second prince of Jotunhiem was an exotic and somewhat scandalous addition to the celebrations.

The tension between Jotunhiem and Asgard had always been famous, though both parties denied it. It had led them to ignore one another and live in peace, but this … this was something that was unpredictable.

The Jotun princes were both invited to the feast and both of them had attended.

The elder, Prince Helblindi, was slightly taller than his brother. He had the same pale skin that the light elves were famed for and dark red hair that often looked black in the lights. His eyes were grey, friendly and more often than not, focused on the food that was displayed there.

Jotunhiem was many things but bountiful in food, was not one of them. Seeing the delicacies placed before him almost had him growing ravenous as he stood by his brother, aware of the restraining hand upon his arm every now and then.

His brother would not take kindly to Helblindi lunging upon the food like a ravenous dog.

No, Helblindi would have to wait for him to leave the room before he could shame his entire family.

He felt a tug on his sleeve and saw his brother look at a man on the other side of the room.

Helblindi followed his gaze and felt a smile curve his lips when he saw the object of his brother’s affections.

Lord Sigyn.

Thick auburn hair were tied back in a messy attempt at taming it, freckles along his face and arms, the build of a warrior and the eyes of someone kind.

Helblindi saw someone simple and plain, but his brother saw the love he had been writing to for the past two years.

This was the first time they would meet.

And his brother was so nervous it was showing, for once.

Helblindi chuckled and looked at his brother, nudging him.

“Nervous are we, Loki?”

Loki, the second prince, looked up at his brother and gave him a glare.

It didn’t really work, seeing as how he _was_ nervous as all hell.

“Shut your mouth” he said in Jotun “I am not worried”

“I never said worried” Helblindi chuckled “I said nervous”

Loki hit his arm and went back to looking at Sigyn.

At the moment, the warrior was talking to his friend, he hadn’t seen Loki. But Loki was sure that once he did, he would recognize him

Loki had sent him highly detailed drawings of himself and had Sigyn do the same so he was not worried about that part.

It was the talking that was making his tongue thick.

And for Loki, the Silver tongued Jotun, that was a great feat.

Helblindi caught on to his nervousness and put a hand on his shoulder

“Excuse me”

The two people Loki was conversing with had started to talk to each other, politely, when the brother began to talk.

They nodded and smiled, letting them know they held no ill will as Helblindi steered his brother aside. He took him to the drinks table and poured them both a drink.

“Here” he gave one to Loki “Drink and calm down”

Loki huffed and took the drink, swallowing it down so fast it left Helblindi staring.

“I said drink, not inhale” Helblindi muttered

Loki blushed and handed it back before he fixed his diadem “Do I look alright?”

Helblindi beamed “You look like a king. Go to him”

He gave Loki a nudge and Loki smiled, giving his hand a squeeze before he looked towards Sigyn and walked over to him. He looked elegant and graceful; Helblindi had no doubts about Loki bagging the man he hadn’t stopped talking about for a year.

Sigyn, who had been conversing with Narvi, blinked when his friend looked at something over his shoulder and turned.

He had to stare for a few seconds, because the person walking over to him was very, very familiar, yet it took him a few seconds to recognize him.

“Loki?”

Loki smiled in relief, his face flushing with color.

“Aye” he said

His voice shook, he noted, and he cursed himself for it.

“You…” Sigyn turned to him fully and took his hand, kissing it “Your pictures do not do your justice, my lord. You are _beautiful_ Loki made a sound he swore to himself he would never make and blushed brighter, looking at the floor rather than Sigyn.

“Loki”

Two gentle fingers beneath his chin made Loki look up, right into Sigyn’s eyes.

“Accompany me while I walk, my prince”

My prince

_My_

Loki nodded, all his wonderfully planned words failing him in a single heartbeat. All he could do was nod and look at Sigyn, utterly smitten.

Sigyn looped his arm with Loki’s and led him to a set of large doors, which would take them to a veranda and a garden if they so chose.

As they passed, Loki turned to his brother and gave him a massive grin.

Helblindi smiled and waved his fingers at him, arms crossed over his chest as he watched his brother depart with the man of his dreams.

“You are the Jotun”

Helblindi blinked and looked to his left, spotting a blue eyed, blonde child, probably no older than fourteen or fifteen.

“Aye” Helblindi said “You are…”

“Thor” the prince extended his hand “Here”

He held a hammer in it and Helblindi stared at it for a few seconds, knowing full well what this was and what would happen were he to take it.

But one look behind him showed him that Thor was not doing this to be disrespectful, rather to impress the legion of friends behind him.

Helblindi smirked and extended his hand, taking the hammer

“Why thank you my …”

He broke off, giving a loud yelp as he fell alone with Mjolnir, hitting the floor with a smack. It was exaggerated, of course, just like he exaggerated how jolted he was and stayed on the floor, groaning.

Thor and the children all laughed, pointing to him.

A few men and women looked over as well, curious as to what had happened.

Thor picked up the hammer, then held out a hand for him to take.

“Forgive me, my Prince” he said, holding his hand out, still “It was a dare”

Helblindi looked at him and took his hand, letting him help him up.

“Worry not, my Prince” he said “no harm done. I rather enjoyed the ride, if I were honest”

Thor sniggered and a few minute later, he was yanked back by his new friends, all of whom wanted him to test the hammer on other unsuspecting people.

Helblindi suspected that they would not react as well as he had, but at the end of the day, if Thor enjoyed himself with this, there was little he wanted to do to end it.

***

Helblindi and Loki had been given a single room to share.

Apparently, Asgard had gone the extra mile for their guests at this feast.

Each suite was complete with a study, two washing rooms, two servants who were available day and night, and a lounging room. The ceiling had been enchanted to show the night skies above them, depicting the skies and the stars as they were.

From their placement here, Helblindi guessed that it was a little past midnight at the moment as he lay on his bed, arms crossed beneath his head.

He was humming an old Jotun song as he watched them, trying to find Jotunhiem in the stars. It was entertaining even if it was somewhat of a lost cause, but Helblindi minded not. He was relaxed, fed and very content.

The sound of the door snapping shut made him look up and he smiled when he saw Loki enter.

The second prince was leaning against the door, his face upturned, a dreamy, dazed look upon his face. He was biting his lip and smiling, looking at the ceiling and the stars shown upon it.

Helblindi knew he was possibly floating along with them at the moment.

“Did you enjoy yourself?”

Loki looked at him slowly, a grin forming on his face “It was a dream…I never thought this could happen”

Helblindi smiled and pat the bed, making Loki hurry forth and jump on it, looking at him.

“He is perfect!” Loki said, smiling at him “He is all I want in a mate, Hel, he is … honest and sweet and sensitive and he put a flower in my hair and he didn’t try to kiss me all night…”

“I’m sorry” Helblindi said, his face straight “I didn’t realize I had a sister now”

Loki hit him then, making him laugh

“Stop it!” Loki said “You know what he means to me”

“Aye, of course I know” Helblindi said, falling flat on the bed “He means to you what those stars mean to me”

Loki rolled his eyes and lay next to him, pillowing his head on his arm as he watched the stars.

“You and your stars” Loki said “When will you realize you cannot have them?”

“When they come down and tell me themselves” Helblindi said, not a moment of hesitation in replying.

Loki smiled and looked at him “Do you want to know something?”

“Does it involve you and Sigyn?”

“Aye”

“Then no”

Loki punched his side and growled “Shut your mouth and listen!”

Helblindi chuckled them put an arm around him and pulled him close

“Tell me, then”

Loki sighed and watched the stars

“When you are King” Loki said “I want you to ask for Sigyn’s hand for me. I wish to wed him”

“Oh, really?” Helblindi pretended to be surprised “That will be awkward, considering I wish to wed him first, I mean he is sweet and honest…”

The rest of his sentence dissolved into laughter as Loki had enough and began to beat him with a pillow.

The environment was easy and free…

…something that was not going to last long for either brother, unfortunately, for the fates were already changing the events they put into motion that night.

And in that same night, enjoying himself much in the same way, Thor was lost.

“For Asgard!” he shouted, wearing his cape and standing upon the overturned trunk he had chosen to make his mountain “For victory!”

Before him, armed with all the weapons in Thor’s collection – wooden, of course, Frigga wasn’t stupid – the boys and girls sleeping in his room raised their weapons and chanted Thor’s name.

“We attack as dawn!” Thor yelled “Bring those Jotun down where they stand!”

His army cheered

“We take their lives as our own and make them our slaves!”

Weapons clanked before him

“And we take the Casket of Ancient Winters!”

“We destroy them!!” his men and women cheered

Thor was driven by their passion and he jumped off his mountain and faced the raging winds and snow. Before them, in a fort of pillows and cushions, the Jotun army was at the ready.

Their King Laufey was glaring at them and their spears were held aloft.

He had given his army his orders and they were prepared.

Awaiting the Asgard army was all too much, so he follied and a large pillow initiated the avalanche that fell from their mountain.

Thor looked up, gasping loudly “Incoming!”

He raised his hammer and flew – really, he jumped away – right into the air, going to stop the avalanche.

But he saw, when they screamed and fell, that his army was wounded. They had taken a hit and there was nothing for them to do.

“It seems I must fight alone!”

His aid, Lady Alma of Vanahiem, groaned and extended a hand to him from where she lay on the mattress, which was a snow covered field for them.

“Avenge us” she panted “For we have perished”

Her hand fell into the snow and it gave Thor courage.

The prince of Asgard gave a huge battle cry and launched himself at the Jotun army.

Laufey was the first to die and soon, one by one, beaten under the very pillows they were hiding behind, the Jotun army fell.

Thor stood tall, his hammer raised to the starry ceiling of the room.

“I claim this land in the name of the AllFather, Odin Son of Bor!”

He put his hammer down and looked upon his fallen comrades with a despairing, sad look.

“Those were good men and women” he sighed, falling to his knees, a hand over his heart “They were my friends”

He lowered his head in respect and stayed that way for a long moment.

Then applause sounded from the right and Thor smiled when the lights revealed his mother, amid the many Queens and noblewomen invited to the feast.

They all looked elegant in their nightwear, sitting there proudly and clapping for their children.

Balder and Tyr stood in opposite corners of the room, gently clapping along with everyone else. Balder was grinning and Tyr was smiling softly.

Thor walked over, leaving his hammer behind, and took the hands of his fellow actors, all of them forming a line as they took their bows and applause.

Then the children went to their mothers, all of them talking about the play.

It had been an hour long, where Thor and his friends had gone through a series of hurdles and trials of friendship before they had portrayed the end.

Balder had directed it and Frigga gave him his due credit.

But the actors got the most of it and accepted their compliments.

Frigga kissed Thor on the forehead and stood, looking at her companions.

“Shall we retire?” she asked “I assume our men had fallen asleep and my parlor is an excellent place for a glass of brandy and the most scandalous gossip in all the realms”

The women were atwitter almost instantly and Balder smiled at how clever his mother was. She hated gossip but this was an excellent way for her to know about and understand the goingson in the realms without outright asking the ladies.

Tyr and Balder helped all of them cross the sea of mattresses, then headed to the doors themselves.

“Try and sleep” Balder told Thor as they stood at the door “You know you have to go riding in the morning”

“Of course” Thor said

He laughed softly when Balder ruffled his hair in affection before heading to his own rooms.

Thor closed the door and turned to the boys and girls in his room.

“So, what do we play now?”

It was like they were waiting for this.

The loudest boy came forth.

His name was Bjorn and he looked at Thor up and down.

“We played your silly game” he said “Now you have to do as we ask”

The smile on Thor’s face fell a little but he was still eager to help, not knowing what they were about to ask of him.

“Of course” he said, smiling “What do you want me to do?”

Bjorn smiled and looked at the boys and girls behind him. Clearly, they had planned this.

“Get us mead from the royal halls”

Thor felt his smile leave and he gaped

“What?” he asked, confused

“I said” Bjorn simpered “We want to taste Asgard’s finest wine”

“We heard all about it” Princess Alma said, in all her Vanir glory

“Aye, it is nothing new to us” Prince Agnar added “We have tried it before”

Thor looked between them uncertainly, then to the small army behind them.

A few minutes ago, they had his back. Now they were against him.

“Oh”

Thor looked at the door, then at them, feeling the pressure “Your parents…”

“Won’t find out” Bjorn said “But if you are too much of a coward, just tell me where it is so I can get it”

“I am not a coward!” Thor said “But this sounds wrong. My Father…”

“You are afraid of your father?!”

Loud cackling sounded and Thor felt his face turn red.

“That is not true!” he defended as they laughed “I am not afraid!”

They only laughed harder, knowing that if Odin were to step in here, all of them would be cowering from him.

Thor felt hunted and he glared at them, feeling prickling behind his eyes

“Be quiet!”

A metallic thrum sounded and a few girls screamed when Mjolnir flew from her perch, into Thor’s waiting hand.

The laughter died out instantly and they all stared at him.

Thor was huffing in anger and looking at all of them one by one.

“If you call me a coward, I will …” he broke off when he saw their frightened faces and dropped the hammer.

He turned to the door, leaving them behind.

“I will get your damn mead”

Bjorn smiled and turned to the others, before they headed to take turns sliding on the mattresses, on the slide Thor had installed for them.

In the hallway, Thor was heading to the cellar.

In the back of his mind he knew this was wrong but …

But they would not let him live it down if he came back empty handed.

Little did he know how fates had entwined his path with another and how was making a mistake that would cost him dearly.

***

Of course it was a disaster.

Thor woke the next morning and he couldn’t move. His thoughts were swirling about in his head and he couldn’t quite catch them. He didn’t know where he was or how he got there, he was just aware of a horrible pain in his eyes, his head and how his mouth felt dry and clammy.

It was disgusting and he groaned squeezed his eyes shut, feeling everything move around him even as he didn’t.

He heard more groaning around him but he couldn’t look up, not when he couldn’t open his eyes because of the damned pain!

He was going to die!

The others were in almost the same situation as he was.

He heard someone throw up and it made him feel sick. He tried to move, horizontally or vertically, he didn’t know, but he tried. It failed, because the pain was killing him!

He didn’t even remember drinking this much.

He dozed off after that, going in and out of it. But everything was too loud, everything was sluggish and clammy and his _head was killing him_

Thor didn’t know when, exactly, but he heard footsteps and a loud shrill voice that launched itself into his head like a nail.

Thor curled up and put a pillow over his head to block the noises.

It worked for a few minutes, then he heard yelling and shouting and someone pulled him up.

Thor yelped as the world started to spin.

He couldn’t open his eyes and someone was calling his name. The hands were firm but held him gently and he was lifted against a large chest because he wasn’t responding.

He knew he was about to pass out, so he opened his eyes into narrow slits but shut them a second later.

Slowly, he gave into the darkness that overcame him and realized he must have been hallucinating because he thought he saw Tyr carrying him, his face worried, not Balder.

***

Odin was not impressed.

Not at all.

The healing wing was filled with eighteen young teenagers, all moaning and groaning in pain. Secretly, the healers thought all of them deserved the agony they were in. No one was serious, just headaches, nausea and dizziness that was ailing them all. Their eyes were half closed, their hands holding cloths soaked in cold water on their heads, and they were in agony.

So of course the healers were extra loud in both talking to each other and putting the medical trays and equipment down harder than it was really needed. A flinch or grimace was often promptly received as a response and they sniggered.

Of course, when they saw Thor and what state that poor child was stuck in, some of the euphoria faded.

Odin’s voice was loud and rich, floating towards the healers, even those at the very end of the hall.

He was angry and with Frigga beside him, he was scolding his third son, because of what he’d done.

“You are a vain, greedy and cruel boy!” Odin yelled, his anger almost tangible “You could have harmed these children! What would we have said to their parents!? That Thor did this because he was getting bored!?”

Frigga wanted to tell Odin to be less harsh, for Thor was already feeling terrible. His head was hung and he had his hands tied behind his back. From experience she knew he was fighing the urge to cry. He said nothing and took it all. Yet she did not stop her husband.

Thor had ruined their reputation in all the nine realms!

They were laughing at the fact that the King and Queen of Asgard let their son run around with drinks! Their parenting was being questioned, their responsibility was already rumored to be nonexistent.

It was a shame upon their legacy.

“I am taking your hammer from you”

Thor gasped loudly at that, looking at Odin with frightened, blue eyes

“Father, not my…”

“Until you learn to be a responsible young adult” Odin said, his voice hard “That hammer shall remain in the Vault. You are not to touch it. And if you do, I will give you a worst punishment.”

Thor felt tears prick his eyes and he shook his head, he looked at Frigga for help, but for once, she did not say a word.

He had done wrong, he was in trouble.

Thor looked back and forth between his two parents but saw nothing resembling mercy in their eyes. He swallowed thickly and slowly lowered his gaze, eyes still wide, two tears sliding down his cheeks.

“Do you understand, Thor?” Odin asked “I want that hammer in the Vault within the hour”

Thor, still lost in his shock, nodded very slowly.

Odin huffed and turned, leaving Frigga with him.

As a mother, she could not see him like this, but as a Queen, she had to.

Thor had left a mark on the Odinson name, he had disrespected Odin and disrespected the guests! As a royal family they could not take this insult!

Even if they had told Thor to, Thor should have known better, he should have acted with more responsibility.

But he hadn’t

And now it was their name and control upon the realms that was being threatened.

They couldn’t control a mere boy, how were they going to save the others from danger!?

How was the Realm Eternal going to remain if they could not control their own son!? Their integrity was in serious doubt.

“I expected better from you”

Frigga’s words tore Thor apart like nothing else. Outwardly, he simple nodded but inside he was broken into a thousand pieces, each one of them brimming in agony.

He watched his mother go, felt the anger she had rained upon him with five simple words.

Once they were gone, he stood in place, the pain and torment of everything that had happened weighing him down. He wanted to cry and scream and yell about the injustice of it all but he didn’t.

He just stood there, defeated by life and so, so used to it.

The healers kept on working, letting him linger if he wanted.

The boy seemed to have no respite from the constant pain he was in.

Letting him be meant that he got some peace, so they avoided disturbing him. They didn’t even stop him when he walked out, leaving them all behind.

A few children laughed and pointed out his flaws but Thor ignored them, such was his immunity to harshness.

His pain still fresh, the thought of losing Mjolnir curling and twisting his belly, Thor walked out of the healing wing, letting the doors slam shut behind him in a small show of temper.

A few guards looked up at the noise, blinking when they saw Thor.

Thor only turned away, knowing that they thought him strange, that whenever he showed any emotion, it was foreign and they had no idea how to deal with it. They thought him a rarity or aberration. They treated him differently and it made him want to punch something.

Thor growled and passed a set of drapes, he was angry he wanted to let it out so he kicked them when he passed.

The last thing he expected from it was a yelp.

Thor blinked and stumbled to a halt, turning to look.

The drapes moved and Tyr’s friend, Sigyn looked out.

“Ah, Thor” he said, smiling “Absolutely wonderful day to be kicked in the rear is it not?”

There was a snicker from within the drapes; melodious, beautiful.

Thor had the sudden urge to move the drapes and see.

But he realized he had just kicked Sigyn.

Apology first

“I – I’m sorry” he said “I didn’t know … I mean I was…”

“It’s alright” Sigyn said, “No need to be sorry”

Thor made to say something else but he figured that the person with Sigyn was probably going to be missing him so he stayed silent.

“Alright” Thor said, bowing his head “I shall see you later”

Sigyn bowed to him as well, watching him leave, looking much calmer than before.

Another snigger sounded and Sigyn turned back to the person with him.

Loki’s bright green eyes looked into his as he smiled, his face dusted with pink, holding a lip between his teeth.

“You think that was funny?”

Loki grinned and nodded

A moment later, his laughter and screeching filled the hallway as Sigyn extracted retribution.

***

There was a solemn air around Thor’s room.

Balder was sitting with him and listening to everything Thor had told him.

He had mentioned his unwillingness to get the mead and mentioned his stupidity in caving but what he talked about most was how those children used him.

He thought they were his friends.

He thought he was making headway with them, being normal.

Yet he was wrong. He was never going to have friends, he would never be happy.

He was not normal, he was the spare son, he was the unwanted one.

Balder listened to everything.

He didn’t complain that Thor took too long to speak or that he was being miserable deliberately. He could sense his pain, with every word Thor spoke he could almost feel it. His brother was not at fault, it was those horrible children!

He knew it, Tyr knew it…

Why had their parents done this!?

Thor was a gentle, sweet and innocent boy and it was not fair that he had no one.

He was a prince and he had no one!

It was the worst fate anyone could go through. It was ridiculous.

Balder wanted to fix it yet he could not. HE could not fix anything for him at the moment, he could just listen. And he could just answer whatever questions Thor had for him.

“Why don’t I have friends?”

…Except that one.

Balder looked at him and sighed.

There were a hundred things that he could have said, he could tell him he had friends, that he had to wait, or try harder. He could have distracted him and told him he was his friend. HE could have changed the subject, wrestled with him, done anything … anything other than tell him the truth.

Yet the truth was all he could speak.

“I do not know” Balder’s voice was soft “I don’t know why you don’t have friends. You are a smart, intelligent and lovely boy. You should have people kneeling at your feet. They should celebrate you, instead they hurt you. They make you suffer instead of being happy, but you know what?”

Thor didn’t move but when Balder gently turned his face to him, he looked at him, sadness openly visible in his eyes.

“What?” Thor asked miserably

Balder smiled, wiping a stray tear away with his thumb

“They are missing out on everything” he said “everyone is happy, everyone has it easy. But you … you are working for something better. You will be one of the best because you are suffering. Your life will mean something. Everyone gets happiness. It’s those who suffer that truly enjoy it”

Thor looked at him and Balder kissed his head

“It will only be for a few days” he said “Then Father will cool off and you will have it back alright?”

He brushed Thor’s hair off his face

“Hmm?” Balder asked, looking at him “Just be a little patient. For me”

Thor looked at him before he heaved a sigh and nodded.

Balder smiled “That’s the spirit!”

He pulled him into a hug and ruffled his hair until Thor laughed and shoved him off.

The teenager looked at him, balanced himself then lunged

The tackle had both brothers fall to the ground and start a wrestling match.

Thor tried to pin Balder down and Balder tried to throw him off.

It was, of course, natural for Balder to win, but he knew that Thor needed it more. So, when Thor thought it was hopeless, he fell back, pretending to lose his balance.

Thor saw the opportunity and lunged, pinning Balder down, twisting his arm behind him.

“Thor!” Balder growled “Damn it, not so hard!”

Thor laughed and eased off, just a little.

“Yield!”

“Oh, if only I was fighting you for real…” Balder said

“You were and you lost” Thor pointed out.

He was sitting astride Balder as the man was pinning down on his front and Balder bucked.

“This arrogance doesn’t suit you”

“Your haircut doesn’t suit you, yet I say nothing”

Balder growled “Oh that’s it”

Thor squealed – he would deny it forever – and fell off Balder.

He hit the floor with a smack and laughed when Balder attacked him, prickling and tickling his sides as revenge.

Thor’s undignified cackles filled the entire room and Balder continued, ignoring his pleas for mercy, ignoring everything other than keeping Thor happy.

Because, perhaps he knew what was in store for his young brother.

Perhaps the fates had warned him of what would happen because Balder was there for Thor. He was always there.

The next hour he had been there, helping Thor come to terms with losing Mjolnir for a few days.

He was there when Thor eventually gained enough courage to pick the hammer up and take one look at her, trying not to get emotional.

He was there when Thor kissed Mjolnir, pretending he had not seen it happen.

He was there as Thor walked down the cold halls, shivering even though it was not cold.

He was there when Odin scolded Thor in the throne room again, standing there with his hand on Thor’s shoulder, giving him a squeeze every now and then.

He was there when Odin ordered Thor to place Mjolnir in his Vault.

He was there on the journey Thor took to the Vault, holding his hand when he asked for support.

He was there when Thor stood before secluded the podium, pretending he wasn’t shaking.

He was there when Thor put the hammer on the pedestal with a metallic thud.

He was there when Thor kept looking at her longingly, wanting to stay, just a little longer.

He was there when Thor finally turned away.

And Balder was there for him when he turned to him and placed his forehead on his shoulder and leaned against him, asking him to hold him up as he lost strength.

Balder embraced him and rubbed his back, looking at the stars.

He wanted something to change for Thor, wanted his life to get better.

He wanted his life to get better, damn it!

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loss, Love and more Loss

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I missed the last chapter. If something didnt make sense here, please read the previous one cos I am a loser xD

“And what…” Frigga sniggered, watching her son “do you think you are doing?”

Thor, standing in the middle of his mother’s room, turned and smiled.

“Hello” he said, greeting her as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

His smile, to her, was brighter than the sunlight that shined upon him through the window. She, in her soft demeanor and calm attitude reminded him of Valkyries. She was the most beautiful and elegant woman he had ever met and his eyes filled with love upon catching sight of her.

This morning he had learned that Odin might be falling into his sleep. This meant that the Kingdom would have Tyr to look up to. The thought made Frigga proud and she laughed, smiling and touched her son’s head in blessing.

He would make a good king and she told him not to worry about anything. She would plan everything from him, from the decorations to the guests to the food, all he had to do was prepare his vows, prepare himself and prepare the Kingdom to learn to obey a new, proud King.

His worries were to be handled by her, she would cater to everything and leave nothing to chance.

The moment Odin told her that he was getting weaker, was the moment she decide to take over everything. She was a well trained Queen and had ruled in Odin’s stead for a long time. Just because she had breasts and a fantastic arse did not mean she was cowed by a bunch of Royal problems. These were her famous words and had two of her sons blushing and one look upon her as an idol.

Thor was astounded by his mother. She was strong, powerful and ruled with a soft and firm command.

Men and women had been known to disobey Odin but never Frigga. Her orders were clear and precise and no one had ever dared to go against her word. Her reputation as a warrior had brought Odin to his knees when he met her. He was taken by her the first time he saw her. She was, he often told the boys, trying to slice the head of a suitor in a friendly spar. Of course the man had tried to let her win and had paid by lying on his back as Frigga held her spear above his heart.

It turned out that she had known he thought her weak and was trying to let her win.

She did not take kindly to it.

Odin had proposed to her parents the next day and they had agreed.

Little did the man know that his life was going to become a living hell.

Frigga was not happy about the marriage, she had locked herself in the bathing chambers and refused to come out.

Odin had begged her, pleaded and done everything he could to get her out but she refused.

A month, she spent sleeping in the bathtub and a month Odin spent trying to get her to like him.

Later, when word spread of this, she had immediately moved out of the tub – and moved into his wardrobe.

Odin saw this as progress and let her be, safe for slowly giving her gifts every day.

She took them all and disallowed him any contact with her, only in the public eye did she talk to him and those were false, half feelings and words that she sprouted.

Odin, for his part, was half in love with her.

He bought her things, he gave her clothes, he gave her books.

He wooed her properly, he wanted to earn her love.

He did it every day, without fail until one night, on the eve of their first wedding anniversary, she approached him.

Odin would never admit, but he had been terrified. He had stood still as she came over and held a book in her hands.

This, she had said, was her journal. And she wanted Odin to have it.

At first, Odin was confused, he watched her retreat into her wardrobe and looked at the journal. He feared it to be a spell and opened it very slowly until he could see.

And there, right before his eyes, was everything he ever needed to know about her.

His grin had been wide and his eyes glimmered with hope.

Reading it all in detail took three days. But after those three days passed he found his best friend, he found his lover and his life.

Just like Frigga had.

Now she had to watch as he started withering away. It was never easy on her, the Odinsleep was hardest on her and she never left his side. She stayed there to guard him, to love him and even talk to him.

He could hear her, after all, he could not respond to it.

So she would read her journal to him, flirt with him and sing to him whenever he was in this state. She would pretend he was merely sleeping and told her everything her heart kept inside.

And in return, whenever he woke, he would cherish and love her anew.

It was beautiful.

And though she was happy, ecstatic as a mother should be, when Odin was bedridden in his weakness, she turned from mother to wife.

She sat by him, took care of him. She fed him, cleaned and bathed him and at night he held her, wiping her tears as she cried against him. He assured her, he told her he loved her.

No one had seen their Queen as a woman, not even Thor and his brothers.

They saw her as a Mother and queen, but that night, Thor had come over to tell her something but frozen, his eyes wide, when he saw the pain she was in. She saw her crying against her husband, saw her afraid and vulnerable.

As strong as a woman as she was, even she had a weakness.

Odin was her life, her world revolved around him, and now he was going to slip into a comatose state that would leave her in agony.

Thor had left, slowly and silently, not wanting to intrude upon this moment, not wanting to seem as though he knew she wasn’t always as strong as she claimed to be.

But this morning, while she was with her ladies in waiting, Thor had snuck into her private with the intention of cheering her up.

He was dressed in one of her larger dresses, which was a bright red in color. His hair was clipped back, as Frigga often did to herself before a ball, and his face was caked, horribly, in her make up. His eyes were painted blue, his lips red and his cheeks nearly orange.

Once, long ago, Frigga had thought to do this, just for laughs.

Thor had scoffed and told her she would do it when he died and came back to her.

The wicked twist of the ear he received for that was well earned.

Frigga hadn’t been amused then, but now she stood, a hand over her mouth as she tried stifling her laughter. She let out an unladylike snort when Thor turned to her and blinked heavily painted eyes.

“Ah, my Queen!”

His voice was high pitched and Frigga let out a cackle, walking in further

“I know you do not know me” he said, walking over “But I am Thorunn – your new lady in waiting. May I get you some tea?”

“Thor!” Frigga said, laughing “What are you doing?”

Thor blinked, not breaking character for a second “My Queen, I am merely pouring you tea”

He picked up the pot of Frigga’s tea and poured it for her, just the way she liked it, then he added milk and sat in the chair opposite, his back straight, his posture refined.

“Please, do be seated”

Frigga pulled her lips inwards to keep from laughing and came to sit down, fixing her dress before she noticed Thor copy the movement.

Thor watched her carefully, blinking at her.

When she took her first sip, he cleared his throat.

“Prince Balder is juicer than a steak”

The burst of tea that escaped Frigga’s mouth, then her loud howl of laughter had Thor doubling over as he dissolved into a laughing mess.

“Thor, you idiot!” she laughed, wiping her mouth with a napkin “You ruined my dress”

Thor was red in the face, pointing at her and laughing so hard he could barely breathe. He held his middle and guffawed, one cackle after another escaping him.

Frigga was laughing just as hard, both of them, feeling tears slip down their face as they made fun of what the bloody hell was happening in that room!

It made no sense but both of them made sense of it enough to keep their grief at bay.

Eventually, after a well-earned bout of laughter, both of them managed to control themselves.

Frigga sat up straighter, brushing her hair out of her eyes and wiping her tears. She kept giggling as she recalled the past few minutes and looked at Thor before she covered her face with her hands and started all over again.

“Oh Valhalla” she gasped, “I can’t breathe”

Thor was grinning at her, extremely proud of himself.

“I can’t, either” he said “I’m wearing a corset.”

That made her laugh again and she placed her hand on her forehead, trying to calm down.

“You fool!” she said “Go change before your father sees you!”

Thor laughed and jumped up, giving her flushed cheek a kiss before he lifted his skirts and fled into her bathing chambers.

While he was gone, Frigga laughed, softer and more controlled, then sipped her tea, then laughed some more before she shook her head at her son.

She could hear him moving about inside and she realized how absolutely fortunate she was to have Thor as her son.

He was her companion when she was down and he had proved it, as he always did.

Her smile was filled with love when he walked out and she giggled when she saw him pull at the clip that was most definitely stuck in his hair.

“Ma, I can’t get this out”

Frigga laughed and put her cup down, extending her hands “Come, bring my brush, Thorunn, I will help you”

Thor beamed at her and went to fetch it, his white tunic and black trousers lighting up the room in a flash as he passed through beams of sunlight.

He saw the brush and brought it back, tracing Frigga’s initials on the back of it before he came to sit cross legged at his mother’s feet.

“So, did you enjoy your tea?” he asked

Frigga snickered “I won’t be forgetting it, I can tell you that”

She gently worked on the knots that had fixed the clip to his scalp.

“Sorry” she muttered when he hissed “You managed to twist it rather firmly inside.

Thor smiled “It was worth it”

Slowly, gently, she pried the thing out and handed it to Thor.

“Keep it” she said “It’s yours forever”

Thor gave a loud gasp and held it to his chest

“My dreams have come true!”

Frigga laughed and shook her head

“What will I do with you?”

“Love me, feed me, never leave me”

Frigga smacked his head and started to brush his hair out. It was always soft and once it shown in the light, she smiled.

“Your hair is growing out again”

Thor smiled “I know. I like it”

Frigga divided it into two parts then slowly began to brush them out.

It was therapeutic and it helped them both.

Thor was talking more, was opening up to her again and she was so grateful.

“Have you done anything else to try and cheer me up?”

Thor played with the clip “Not really”

Then he frowned and thought about it.

“Balder might have something planned” he said “But it will be of no use because I have already won”

Frigga smiled “How cheeky you are”

Thor shrugged “Must have been something you ate before you had me”

“Thor!” she laughed, “You are going to be in trouble”

“Oh, you won’t punish me” he said “You love me best”

“Do I?” Frigga said, eyebrows raised “And pray tell how do you know that?”

Thor smiled “Because your smile is real when you see me – and that makes you a thousand times more precious to me”

Frigga hadn’t expected that and she blinked, looking down at her hand before she went back to brushing his hair.

Thor didn’t speak either, he sat there, letting her brush his hair out.

It was his most favorite thing to do, sitting before her, talking to her, laughing with her.

It was wonderful and he wished it never ended. He enjoyed the bristles against his scalp, he enjoyed the silence and the peace.

Frigga cherished it just as much and she lingered when Thor’s hair as smooth and when it moved like silk between her fingers.

Once she was done, she sat back and stroked his head in affection.

“I do love you best”

It was a soft whisper, a gentle confession and it made Thor smile.

He turned and looked at her before he got on his knees and embraced her tightly. His arms went around her frame and he held her to him, his eyes squeezed shut.

“I love you best, too” Thor said “You are my life!”

Frigga kissed his head and rested her cheek upon his hair.

They stayed like that for a long time.

And they would have for even longer, had the door not burst open.

“Attack!”

Both Frigga and Thor looked up and screamed when Balder and Tyr ran in with buckets of water that they hurled on them both.

Thor had squawked in surprise and Frigga had screeched.

Both brothers were laughing at them, proud of themselves.

Then Frigga took off her slipper.

Their smiles faded and they dropped their buckets and fled.

Thor ran after his mother, intending on catching them.

And the rest of the day was spend with Frigga trying to murder her sons and Thor betraying her brothers to assist his slipper wielding mother.

It was pure bliss.

And Thor wanted it to last forever.

***

The light stayed dimmed in the Jotunhiem capital.

The moon was always surrounded by clouds, always hiding within the inky blue skies. It never shone in all its glory except on a few rare nights when the skies were not as cold as they always were.

When he had come here, four years ago, he had thought that the stars were visible everywhere. It wasn’t until his beautiful husband had told him that they were crystals, suspended in the air because it was so cold.

He had touched them, heard his beloved’s laughter and saw his twinkling green eyes as he saw his stunned expression.

There was nothing like this in Asgard.

Asgard had always thought of Jotunhiem as evil, hard, cruel and murderous.

True, he hadn’t been so keen on being sent here but now that he lived here and saw what it truly was, he could barely think of it as the place that Odin had declared war upon once. It was glass and snow.

Crystal and white, that is what Jotunhiem was and Sigyn was so happy that he was brought here. He didn’t worry about heat or how to keep himself cool, all he needed here was the Jotun by his side and the furs he was currently buried in.

It was late at night and most of the palace was sleeping.

The castle that he lived in was made entirely of ice.

Loki had told him that the palace was a tribute to the realm, that as long as it stood, made of one of the most fragile things known to them, the other realms will be reminded of their strength.

Sigyn had been prepared, somewhat, to see the palace, but what he had thought and what he saw were very different things.

He had imagined caverns, the reality was fantastic.

There was fantasy in everything that made the palace.

From the moment he saw the dominating structure, Sigyn had been taken in by the beauty and magnificence of his new home.

The palace was sprawling, a building made entirely of ice. The boundary walls was thick ice, sleet and crystal, thick and protective while giving a view of what lay outside the palace walls. The main entrance into the palace was a wide set of stairs, each thick palisades on either side gave it the intimidation factor that Sigyn rather appreciated. When he touched one of the stakes, he found it solid and even when he pulled it did not give. The tops were chiseled to pointy tips and Sigyn didn’t need to touch them to know how sharp they were. He could tell easily.

Once he reached the huge ice doors, he saw the intricate patterns, the carved runs that went alongside the frame of the doors. He knew they were for protection, even if he could not read them.

There were two Jotun guards with him, patiently waiting for him to stop staring and walk on.

Sigyn had thought that Jotun looked like the drawings in books, huge, giants and blue in color.

Though most of the men here were taller than him, they were not monstrous. They were well built, nearly all of them were, strong and powerful. Even if they were not ten feet tall and hunkering mountains, they were not someone to be trifled with. Their pale skins bore the marks of wars fought and won – at least by these two.

Clearing his throat, he walked forth, into the palace. The palace had five large towers, and upon four were built huge, onion domes that were both transparent and opaque.

These were at the very end of the palace, and these were rumored to be the Royal Chambers.

Whether they were or not, Sigyn would soon find out.

At the moment, he was headed to the throne room.

There was a vast entrance hall where Sigyn was to be received today. When the doors opened and he was let inside, Sigyn lost his breath.

Not because of the stunning pair of staircases, both identical, leading upwards from either side of the hall he stood in and meeting at an upper tier that held the most astonishing being in all Jotunhiem.

Loki was standing there in his wedding garbs, white and grey robes that made him look exquisite. He was wearing his crown, rather than his diadem but all Sigyn saw was the man he’d fallen for.

His bright green eyes glittering in the dim environment, Loki gave him a huge grin and headed to the left staircase, eager to run down and meet Sigyn.

As Jotun tradition said, Loki could only see Sigyn once he was in Jotunhiem. Their vows had been taken separately, their celebrations held separately, their rings put on by priests in their own respective realms, so this was the first time Loki saw his husband.

His husband.

His surefooted steps had led him to Sigyn, who ran to meet him halfway

The guards turned away when Loki all but leapt at him, holding him just as tightly as Sigyn held him around the waist, both of them embracing for the first time as husband and Consort.

Loki had kissed him then, his eyes closed, humming in delight.

Sigyn did the same, holding tightly as he kissed him back.

Then he felt a tear slide from Loki’s eyes, to his cheek.

He pulled away, looking at him, worried. But all it vanished when he saw the smile on his face, not beautiful he looked, how perfect.

He’d kissed him again, that moment, then that day and at night…

At night, Loki had given him the most precious treasure he’d had.

He had cried, Sigyn had hurt him, but he had not sobbed. He’d cried as Sigyn took his honor, gave him something Loki had never experienced. And as he heard Loki’s pants by his ear as he pleasured him, as he moved in and out of him. He heard Loki’s whimpers, his hot and damp breath as he pushed him to the brink of pleasure. He told him he loved him, that he would take care of him and never hurt him again.

This was the only time he had made Loki bleed, he said, he would never do it again.

Loki had smiled and let Sigyn brush his damp hair from his face, wipe his tears from his cheeks as he lay under him, watching him.

He looked so innocent then that Sigyn would never believe how he could hog the bed all be himself. But there he was, now, watching the moon because Loki had started taking the covers from him.

The furs were stuck under him and pulled at Sigyn whenever he moved. He had tried to get them out from underneath Loki without waking him but had been a fruitless endeavor. Sigyns shifted closer to Loki in hopes of sharing but the demon only kicked him off, making him yelp.

And that yelp, sharp and cut off, disturbed Loki enough that he woke. He blinked a few times before looking over his shoulder to see the man behind him.

“What’s wrong?”

His voice was slurred by sleep and Sigyn found it endearing.

“Nothing” he said, “Go back to sleep, love. How do you feel?”

Loki groaned and turned, scooting closer to Sigyn and placing his head on his chest.

“I feel just as I did before I told you the news”

“Aye, but soon you will be angry and huffy and you will hate me for not asking how you are” Sigyn said “ So I will ask you every day until you finally, one day, push that thing out”

Loki, have asleep made a noise “How romantic…I should never have told you”

“I would have found out eventually” he said “Even with the amount you eat you cannot gain as much as to fool me into thinking it’s fat”

“is that supposed to be funny?”

“Maybe?”

“Shut your mouth, love” Loki said, snuggling closer “Hold your consort, let him sleep”

Smiling in the dark, Sigyn kissed his head and obeyed.

There was silence as both of them started to drift off back to sleep.

“Will he call you Mother?”

Sigyn yelped loudly when he was kicked again and a moment later, Loki’s contented hum lifted to the ceiling, radiating his happiness throughout the room.

It was the handful of times left for them to be happy.

For Loki to be in love.

But they didn’t know it.

***

“We have to think of a name”

Loki looked up from his desk, from where he was writing a letter to Tyr on behalf of his husband. Apparently his words were better, whatever that meant.

“Name for…”

He broke off when he saw the sight before him.

“Sigyn, what the hell are you doing?”

Sigyn, a full grown, adult warrior, was standing in front of Loki’s polished, crystal glass mirror, wearing one of Loki’s tight tunics.

He had stuffed his pillow under the tunic and punched and hit it long enough – Loki vaguely remembered hearing annoying thumps as he told Tyr how much Sigyn missed him – for it to form a ball.

And now Sigyn stood pregnant – with Loki’s baby, hopefully.

“I’m trying to be in your shoes”

“I do not have a wargr in my belly”

Sigyn, the little menace, turned to him, a sly look on his face “You never know, Loki, I see the way you looked at Fenrir”

Loki gasped, gave an exaggerated sigh of despair

“Oh, you have uncovered my plan! What am I to do!?”

He fell onto his desk, sobbing because his affair was discovered.

Sigyn smirked, then snickered when Loki moved the inkpot to safety.

“Well now that my traitorous husband is gone I can raise Fluff all alone – with his money”

“You will name our child Fluff?” Loki asked, looking at him from his deathbed “I should take it away from you”

“Oh don’t say that” Sigyn said, his face alarmed “I will go into early labor”

Loki snorted and sat up, brushing his hair back.

Sigyn turned to him, looking absolutely ridiculous and absolutely smitten at the same time.

Loki was beautiful to watch and Sigyn loved watching him as he brushed his hair back or played with his wedding ring; to him it was hypnotic.

“Names, then?” Loki asked, going back to his letter “Have you any in mind?”

Sigyn had gone back to admiring himself in the mirror.

“A few…” he said vaguely

He hunched over and flexed his arms, growling.

Loki couldn’t help but laugh

“You are an idiot”

“Aye, but you married me knowing I was one, so you are the bigger idiot”

Loki hummed “Sigyn, look at me, we have to discuss names. What have you thought of?”

Sigyn turned and looked, as he was asked to

“They are not that good, but I am rather partial to Narvi or Vali”

“You will name your child after friends?”

“No, I will name our child Narvi because it means narrow” he said, waddling over “which means that no matter what happens…”

“He will never gain weight?”

Sigyn laughed and came to rest his elbows on the desk, standing opposite Loki, his Fluff hitting the side.

“You’re killing our baby” Loki said dryly

Sigyn gasped and retreated, holding his middle tightly

“I’m sorry, Fluff!” he gasped “So sorry!”

Loki rolled his eyes and scoffed

“Sigyn!” he said “Focus!”

Sigyn went to attention instantly, hand at the forehead in a salute

Loki shook his head and went back to writing.

“Vali means strong, vigorous”

Putting the quill down, he looked at Sigyn

“Aye?”

Sigyn nodded “Yes, Sir”

Loki smiled softly “Then I love it”

He stood and went to Sigyn, embracing him tightly. Sigyn returned the gesture, embellished it with a kiss and Loki smiled.

“Vali” he said “My little Vali”

Sigyn tipped his head up slowly and kissed his mouth.

“My Loki”

Loki blushed, as he always did, then stepped back ad fixed his clothes.

A lot ‘plop’ sounded and both of them turned to see Fluff fall to the ground.

Loki blinked at it before he spoke “Your baby fell down”

Sigyn picked it up and dusted it off, giving Loki a superior look.

“Three second rule”

As he walked off, his back proud after delivering a baby with minimal pain, Loki laughed and shook his head, wondering how the hell he got so lucky.

***

It happened on the very day Loki was two months into his ‘state’. He had started feeling the unpleasant effects of childbearing and was rinsing his mouth out after he’d thrown up in his royal water closet.

Sigyn had been with him, holding his hair back, and now had pulled the bed back, ready and willing to carry Loki to it if needed.

Loki had declined but Sigyn took his hand and led him to their bed, helping him lie down.

Immediately, he began to massage Loki’s back, his legs and smiled when Loki let out a long, drawn out sigh.

He had been in discomfort and hadn’t told him.

The man sighed

“You should have told me”

His voice was deep, as it always was, and washed over Loki, soothing him further.

“I didn’t want to burden you” Loki replied, his voice soft “You were teaching three new people today, I saw how they fought and it was not impressive, I did not wish to come over and complain about my back”

Sigyn smiled and kissed his shoulder before he massaged it.

“They needed help”

“They needed to be put in the Palace kitchens” Loki said “They did not know the head of the hammer from the shaft and sliced the air as though you were a piece of meat they wanted to butcher. They will work in the kitchens.”

Sigyn laughed softly at the disgust in Loki’s voice, beaming at him.

“As you wish, my Majesty”

Loki smiled at the lovingly created nickname and hummed

“Don’t forget my feet” he said

“Yes, my love” Sigyn crooned

He continued the massage and felt Loki start to relax under his hands. It made him feel good that he could bring his love comfort so he moved to straddle Loki and apply more pressure on him. It made him snigger when he heard Loki’s hum of approval.

They stayed that way for a few long, precious minutes before the first thrum sounded.

Both of them heard it and attributed it to their imagination. Loki thought it was because he was half asleep and Sigyn thought it was not important.

When it sounded again, Loki lifted his head and frowned.

“Did you hear that?”

Sigyn stopped the massage, simultaneously stopping the movement of the furs and their clothes. His brow furrowed as he listened to it.

There it was again, the thrum in the distance. This time it came in rapid successions and a second before Loki guessed what it was, a shrieking alarm sounded.

Loki’s blood drained from his face and he moved, prompting Sigyn to get off.

“The prisons!” he gasped, running to his window and looking down.

Sure enough, at the edge of the palace property, the underground prisons were being invaded by the Jotun royal guards. They stormed it just as a few prisoners got out.

Loki was pressed against the glass, his eyes wide in worry. He saw the fight taking place, saw blood painting the untouched snow and saw the rush of prisoners that came out, armed with the weapons of those guards whom had undoubtedly killed in their mad bid to escape.

He felt Sigyn come up behind him, felt his hands on his shoulders.

He heard him hiss in pain when one of the guards lopped the head off one of the escapees.

“I should be out there” Loki said

His voice soft and his hands twitched on the glass he rested them on.

“I know you wish to” Sigyn said, pressing against him from behind, gentle and loving “But you stay here. I will go”

Loki flinched when Helblindi and Laufey joined in the fight.

He was transfixed, a hand on his middle as he stared at the violence, imagining this happening once his child was born. The mere thought was killing him.

He barely felt Sigyn move, but he looked behind him when he heard clanking weapons. His eyes were tormented and he went to Sigyn, the man holding his weapons in his hands.

Sigyn, armed perfectly and more than capable of handling himself, walked over to him.

Loki whimpered when he kissed him, pulling him up by the back of the neck and kissing him.

“I love you”

Loki’s hands clenched in his clothes and he pulled him back when he retreated.

“Come back to me” Loki begged “you hear me? I will not have it any other way”

Sigyn nodded, kissed him again and left.

Loki watched him leave, his hands on his belly, his eyes wide in anxiety.

He wouldn’t be able to live if Sigyn got hurt … or if he lost him.

He just wouldn’t be able to live

***

The covers shifted as the occupants moved in their sleep.

One, the larger one on the right, lifted his head and looked to see his beloved crushing him even in sleep.

His hands were clenched in his tunic, making it rub against the bandages that lay beneath the fabric.

Loki had run the length of the halls to get to the healing rooms when he had found out Sigyn had been hurt. His eyes were red, his face was pale and he could barely breathe as he hung on the doorjamb.

In his heart he knew it would happen, but seeing it broke him clean in half.

The healers had moved out of the way, fortunately just in time to have Loki fall on Sigyn, who lay with bandages around his torso.

Sigyn held him tightly, cradling his head and putting an arm around his waist, feeling his shoulders and body shake as he wept.

“I’m sorry” Sigyn said, his voice barely above a whisper “I’m sorry”

Loki had hit his arm, punched him as he hid his face against his shoulder.

“I love you, how could you do this to me!?”

Sigyn held him down because the movement was making him hurt.

“Loki, Loki!”

He held him tighter and had relented, opting for holding him instead.

“I’m still here” he had said

I’m still here…

He rubbed Loki’s back now and kissed his head

“I’m still here”

Loki hummed in sleep and stayed still until Sigyn fell asleep, then Loki woke and looked at him, to make sure he was still there. He rubbed his middle, feeling those bandages underneath.

He looked at his face, so calm and relaxed.

He was here, damn it Loki, pull yourself together.

But no matter how much he scolded himself he could not and he huffed and got out of bed, going to the bathing room.

He left the door open a sliver as he went inside to relieve himself.

There was silence, except for Loki moving about inside, so Sigyn stayed fast asleep. The night was soothing and the covers were warm so there was no need for him to wake.

Inside, Loki was bent over, washing his face with cold water in the basin and trying to calm himself down. It would be alright.

Sigyn was fine.

He was going to be fine.

Loki turned the water off and straightened, looking at himself in the mirror.

He froze a second later, his face draining of color when he found a man behind him.

He was tall, as Jotuns were, angry and from the brand on his neck Loki knew he was someone who had been set in line for execution before he escaped the prisons.

Loki’s heart was pounding and for a second neither man moved.

Then the criminal took a step forward.

Loki dropped all sense of finesse and raced to the door.

“Sigyn!!” he screamed

The scream made Sigyn wake instantly and he shot out of bed the moment the convict grabbed Loki.

Loki shrieked in fear as he was dragged back, a thick arm around his waist holding him against the convict.

He could use no magic he could not fight back because of his child and was easy prey.

“No!” Loki kicked and struggled “No! Let me go!”

The convict didn’t listen and Loki gasped loudly when he felt a sharp edge of a dagger at his neck. He went still, a soft whimper escaping him when the door slammed open and Sigyn stood there.

From his vantage point, being held up a few inches off the ground by a convicted felon, Loki could see the fear in Sigyn’s eyes.

His husband raised his hands, immediately surrendering in the face of this risk.

“I will give you whatever you want” Sigyn said “Just let him go”

Loki made a soft, cut off noise, instigated by fright. His eyes were focused on the way his husband was trying to control the situation and a tear slipped from his eyes.

“P-Please…” Loki begged “Sigyn…”

“Be quiet!”

Loki sobbed when the convict shook him, pressing the dagger just a little harder against his skin.

He looked at Sigyn

“Give me free pass out of the palace” the murderer said “or your Prince dies”

Loki closed his eyes and tried to wiggle but the man only held on tighter.

Sigyn nodded “Alright, come with me, I will take you wherever you want to go, just …. Let him go, please. H-He’s my husband”

“I am well aware of who he is” the convict said “I may have been locked down in the cells but I am aware of everything that goes on here”

As he spoke, the dagger slipped from Loki’s neck, down his chest to his abdomen.

“Everything”

Loki gasped softly and whimpered when he pressed it against his belly.

“No, please…” he sobbed softly “Please…”

Sigyn was terrified and he extended a hand “I – I will personally lead you out, I swear no one will get you. Don’t do this, _you’re scaring him_!”

The convict laughed “I know! That is the point; now move, lead me to the gates and I will let you go. Use the servant’s passages so no one sees you”

Loki wept as he was carried to the servant’s halls.

Sigyn was in the lead and whenever he was spotted, there were gasps then screams of terror as Loki was carried off by the felon.

Loki’s terrified features were doing nothing to help and he could only watch as his world tipped over, as he was kidnapped and taken away from everything he loved.

Sigyn was pale faced and tightlipped as he led the convict out through the narrow passageways. He kept looking over his shoulder at Loki, who, in turn, watched him and prayed.

He prayed they would both make it, he prayed they both saw their baby.

His face was wet with tears and once they exited in the palace grounds, Loki gave a sob of relief.

“There” Sigyn pointed to a gate in the northern wall “Open it and leave. No one is there, they are changing shifts. Just give him to me”

The felon smirked

“So you will raise the alarm?” he mocked “No … I have a better plan”

Loki knew it before he did anything.

And for Sigyn, it all happened slowly, as though every taken breath was being measured.

Loki screamed, thrashing in the man’s grip, his face twisted in agony, his eyes shut, his hair flying as he fought.

The convict, the nameless bastard that was about to ruin their lives, raised his hand, raised his _dagger wielding hand_.

Sigyn screamed and ran, going to tackle him.

The blade was brought down and Loki screamed louder when he tore past his clothes, his flesh and skin as it went into his belly, ripped him from the inside, sending blood pouring out.

Something hard hit them then and both the felon and Loki fell into the ice.

The dagger twisted inside him and Loki lay screaming in agony.

He heard a fight, he heard Sigyn beating the convict with his bare hands.

“Murderer!” Sigyn screamed, tears in his eyes “Murderer!”

He punched the monster before him, again and again, trying to kill him right there.

The criminal reared back, slammed his hard head into Sigyn’s.

Loki lay writhing on the snow, painting it red as he watched and screamed his lover’s name.

Sigyn stumbled back, his eyes wide, looking up to see the Jotun’s heavy punch slam into his head. Then another and another until he couldn’t see, hear or stand.

He tipped over and Loki screeched his name, begging him to get up.

Sigyn fell back into the ice and the criminal roared in anger, both hands raised above his head, holding nothing.

No …

Not nothing.

Sigyn had time only to widen his eyes before the monster rammed downwards, slamming the thick ice stalactite into his chest.

Sigyn choked, looking up at him as he lay impaled, his mouth opening in pain, his eyes tormented.

Loki shrieked where he lay, screaming for Sigyn.

His eyes were wide, filled with tears, his face was pale and his mouth opened as he screamed.

Somewhere, in the distance he heard guards running over, he heard Helblindi, he heard Laufey…

But he screamed

He screamed and he couldn’t stop, he could never stop.

No matter how hard he tried.

***

“Is that him?”

Balder, dressed in black, as was everyone, looked up from the prayer beads in his hands. Thor had whispered to him, looking at the young, beautiful Jotun who had been widowed a week ago.

Loki looked so much different than he did when they met him four years ago.

He was thin, his eyes were sunken in and he didn’t look up from the floor. His hands were always shaking and his brother and father always flanked him.

Like them, he was dressed in black with a black veil that rested upon his head and shoulders.

It was custom, in Jotunhiem for a widower to wear this until they wed again or their mourning was over. His eyes were filled with tears as he sat on the dais with his family, counting his prayers on the prayer beads.

In the middle of the hall where the funeral prayers were taking place, lay a sheet with Sigyn’s weapons on it.

It was a tribute in the land of ice, and everyone who was there was praying for him.

For whatever sins he had committed would be condoned and he sent to Valhalla.

When they had found out what happened, the royal family had rushed to Jotunhiem, Odin in the lead.

Tyr was with him, of course, everyone was.

The body had been buried beneath the snow, their condolences were given and now, only when Loki was able to recover from his own injuries, was the prayer day set up.

Thor and those attending from other realms were cloaked in furs and coats so they felt no cold. They had been given rooms and all their needs were catered to.

Jotunhiem was hospitable even when it was mourning.

“Aye” Balder whispered to him.

He and Thor sat amongst the Jotun by choice, on the floor, cross-legged.

They had been given a book of prayers by the surrounding Jotun and taken it in good grace.

Thor looked at his brother, then at Loki.

His mouth parted in hurt when Loki suddenly gave a loud sob and lowered his face into his hands.

His cries echoed in the room until Tyr stood, telling Helblindi to stay with his father, as he helped Loki up so he could take him out of the room.

Thor, for some reason, wanted to see Loki.

“Excuse me” he said “I have to … do something in a toilet”

Balder looked at him and made a disgusted face, fixing the back of Thor’s coat as he stood and watched him leave.

Thor, prayer beads in hand, went into the halls, then looked around, trying to see. He didn’t know where Loki went so he was moving on instinct.

He heard crying and walked to the left, spotting the edge of Tyr’s cape at the turn in the corner.

Going closer and hiding behind a pillar, he saw Tyr holding Loki tightly as the man wept into his shoulder.

The sadness in his brother was strong, too, Thor felt it.

He was murmuring soft words to Loki as he rubbed his back, kissed his head.

Loki only wept, unable to form words.

Thor stayed even when Tyr left.

He hid behind the pillar and watched his brother pass.

There were tears in his eyes, but they didn’t slide down his face and Thor bit his lip because Tyr was not someone who showed emotion.

He heard a sniff and turned back to Loki.

Loki, who had gone to open a small, narrow window and breathe in the Jotun air. He leaned on the ledge on both his elbows, wiping his eyes and calming himself down.

Thor licked his lips and saw Loki look for something to wipe his tears with.

Without thinking, he walked out of his hiding place and went to Loki, pulling out his handkerchief

“Here”

Loki startled, just a little, and turned to him slowly.

One hand remained on the window sill and the other hung low.

Then he saw the handkerchief and nodded, extending his hand to take it.

“Thank you” he croaked, bringing it to his eyes to wipe.

Thor shook his head and kept staring at him.

He tried not to make a face when Loki blew his nose into it.

Loki wiped his eyes again and handed it back.

Thor stepped back and shook his head “You keep it”

Giving him a soft smile, Loki folded the cloth and put it in his pocket.

“You’re Thor”

Eighteen years old and promising to grow taller than both his brothers, Thor – already a young man, Loki noticed – nodded.

“Yes” Thor said, taking a step forward “I’m sorry for your loss. We all knew Sigyn”

He gestured to himself and the vague are his brothers probably occupied

“But … not as well as you did” Thor said “I can’t imagine the pain you are in. He was a good man. You are really special if you stole his heart.”

Loki watched him with sadness in his eyes.

“Thank you” he said softly “for saying that”

His voice was hoarse because of his grief and Thor felt it hurt him.

He should have left but he didn’t, opting to stay by him.

Loki looked like he needed a friend

“The rush at the food tables is terrible” Thor said “Why don’t you wait here? I will get you something, alright?”

He gave Loki’s hand a squeeze before he turned and jogged away.

He hoped Loki would be there when he got back and prayed for it while he filled a platter with a little bit of everything.

Once he went back, he was sure Loki would have left but he was surprised when he saw Loki still there.

They were at the end of a hallway, a wall and bench behind Loki which meant he could eat in peace.

“I didn’t know what you liked” Thor said, handing him the platter, fork, spoon and napkin “So I got everything”

A gentle smile curled Loki’s lips and he looked at Thor, a little less grief stricken than before.

“It’s perfect” he said “But far too much. Sit with me and help me eat”

Thor was confused for a few seconds but he nodded.

“Of course”

They went to sit on the bench, Loki sniggering softly when Thor yelped and jumped back up because the bench was ice and so damn cold!

When he sat back down he put his coat under his bottom, which Loki found endearing.

Loki gave him the spoon and placed the platter between them.

“Thank you” Loki said “For doing this. I had not … not been eating”

“I know” Thor said, spooning up some fish cake “You were healthier before”

Loki gave him a self-derisive smile “I was a lot of things before”

Thor cut into some rice and gravy.

“You are nice, too” he said “Not many people like talking to me”

Loki furrowed his brow “Why ever not? You are such a sweet young man”

Thor shrugged “I don’t know”

Loki hummed but said nothing since it upset Thor.

“Well” he said, eating more than half of the delicious rice and sauce Thor brought him, “Tell you what. If ever you need a friend, do not hesitate to write to me, alright?”

Thor stared “Truly?”

“Aye”

Loki held up his hand in oath

“I swear”

Thor smiled, brightening the entire room, in one simple gesture, then went back to eating.

Loki did the same.

And from the corner, peeking over to see if he was alright, Laufey smiled and retreated, leaving them both alone.

For now.

***

And who would have thought, that, on the eve of Thor’s nineteenth year, Asgard would be hit with their own tragedy.

***

Thor was distraught after his mother’s sudden death.

His eyes were wide, his expression shocked. He was still as death as he sat in his room.

He hadn’t said a word.

Not a single word.

All the progress he had made since Tyr cut his hair off was gone.

When he had learned of what happened, when his brother came and told him, his world collapsed, right atop his head.

He had hidden in his rooms then and hadn’t come out since, hadn’t opened the door, hadn’t eaten, hadn’t attended the funeral.

In his hands, as he sat on the bed, was the tunic she had made him.

He pictured her, even now, both of them sitting in her parlor, having coffee and crumpets as they shared the gossip from around the realms. The sunlight hit them both, clearly illuminating the fact that no matter what anyone said, Thor was truly Frigga’s son.

His hair, his eyes, his skin tone, everything was hers.

His heart was hers, too.

They had been talking about a certain Vanir lady, making advances on Thor. She was a year older and Thor was fascinated by her. He had no idea she felt the same so he had no way to respond.

He’d ignored her, which only made her go after him with more determination – which Thor found out was the usual practice for elegant females – until he had to run to his mother for safety. Frigga ad been in fits while Thor pretended that he hadn’t just hidden from a sixteen year old.

Of course, later on, Thor swears that he never did, the two were in the shadows, Thor’s hand on her bottom as they kissed each other with a passion only teens were famed for.

He had come back to Frigga with his face red and his lips stained with her rouge. He was blushing yet proud of himself and Frigga gave him an all knowing look.

Their gossip swerved around the hot headed young lady and Thor denied every bit of information that his mother gave him – at the same time he was impressed by her accuracy in knowing every detail about what went on.

Then Thor had stood when she told him that she had to let her ladies inside.

He had wanted to stay but with one twist to his ear, Thor had quickly changed his mind.

He had let her kiss his cheek and embrace him with all the love she had before she told him to go.

As per custom, their own, private custom, she would come to brush his hair before she wished him goodnight.

Upon her urging, Thor had now let it fall to his shoulders.

She liked to play with it so he couldn’t bring himself to cut it.

Even if he was scared to death what a repeat of the incident that had scarred him for life.

Thor had waited for her that night, after bathing and getting rid of all the dust and dirt and stench he had carried from his activities.

He had waited … and waited…

But she never came.

Balder had run into his room, his eyes shocked, filled with tears.

Thor had felt his heart stop, then, and had gone stiff as death when his brother embraced him, held him tightly as he wept into his shoulder.

“Mother…”

And Thor had known.

He just knew what happened.

Then he knew nothing.

His doors stayed shut no matter who came to him, his eyes were wide and shocked.

He told himself that it wasn’t true or that if he waited long enough she would come back.

It was childish but it was the only thing that was keeping him from losing his mind.

He sat, even now, still as ever, watching his window.

He had opened the curtain to let the sunlight in but that was it, he didn’t do anything else.

It was as though his body had shut down, his mind was giving up and he sat there, watching the skies turn from gold to purple and black.

He didn’t move, yet when he woke, he didn’t remember sleeping.

Thor had lost his soul.

He sat there for days, perhaps weeks, he wasn’t sure, but one day he woke up in the healing wing.

He was severely dehydrated, undernourished and sleep deprived.

And he had been unconscious for a week.

When he opened his eyes he felt terrible, his mouth was dry and his head hurt.

The healers went into a panic and ran to get him water and notify Odin and the princes at the same time

Thor didn’t care, the one person he wanted to see was no longer with him, he didn’t care what happened to him.

If he died and went to her he would be happy.

No one loved him here.

No one.

***

“You scared us all, you know”

Thor looked at is brother, then at the bed he was in.

His fingers were boney, his wrists thin. He felt weak all the time, no matter what he ate.

According to Balder, it was his body’s way of seeking energy after a traumatizing starvation it suffered.

“A month, Thor” Balder looked at him, his voice shaking a little “A month we didn’t see you. Father told us to give you space because you needed it but I knew something was wrong”

He was slowly stirring a thick, delicious broth in a large bowl so it cooled enough for Thor to have.

Thor looked at the bedding, pulling at the blankets thrown over him.

“I’m sorry”

Balder looked at him “You should be. If Tyr hadn’t kicked your door down, we would not be here, talking”

Thor looked at the bed once again and Balder stirred the broth in silence.

It was different than usual, this silence, because Balder was angry.

He was in mourning, he was in pain because he had lost his mother but because he was older than Thor he was handling it better. Thor’s method at coping was not appreciated.

He could have died!

“Here”

Thor looked up when Balder handed him the bowl. It wasn’t hot, but perfectly warm and it comforted him as he held it in his hands.

He saw Balder wanting to leave and stay at the same time and thought that perhaps he wasn’t supposed to get comforted after what he had done.

So he stayed silent.

He stirred some broth and slowly started eating it.

Balder watched him, silent as he was lost in his own thoughts, before he exhaled.

“I miss her too” he said softly “But that doesn’t mean I start harming myself. How would you feel if I did what you have done?”

Thor felt what little color he could manage color his cheeks.

“I didn’t mean…”

“I know you didn’t” Balder said “But you have to be careful. We are all here to take care of you, you don’t have to face this alone”

Thor couldn’t look at him, but he nodded, looking at his meal.

“I just…”

Balder’s expression turned pained when Thor’s breath hitched and his voice trailed off to nothing. There were tears in his eyes and as he watched, his face crumpled.

Balder took the bowl away and set it aside before pulling Thor into his arms and kissing his head. He rocked him a little on the bed, cradling the back of his head, whispering soothing words and promises to him and told him he would never leave him.

Thor held on to that promise like a drowning man to anything that was strong enough to delay his demise.

For in this state, Thor was nothing other than a drowning young man, his grief pulling him under and making it impossible to breathe.

His lungs would burst, his mind would be alive but his body would be useless.

He had just lost his best friend.

And Balder was all he had left.

No one else was ever going to mean to him what Balder meant to him now.

Or so he thought…

***

As the months passed, Thor started to feel better, under Balder’s watchful eye.

Of course, where he had Balder, Tyr had no one.

To keep from succumbing to his grief, the Crowned Prince turned to battle, he turned to violence and he turned to fighting.

Upon Odin’s order, he started a small army, men picked by his own hand, twelve guards who Tyr polished and trained himself. They were to be under his command and no one else’s. He turned them into the fiercest warriors Asgard had ever seen.

He turned them into hunters, assassins and peace keepers.

He named them The Herlid of Frigga.

Twelve men, he commanded, he was the thirteenth.

They all rode on huge black horses, imported from Svartalfhiem. The eyes of the animals were so brown that they looked red. It turned them into beast, of monsters that would destroy anyone Tyr wanted.

The men were almost as mindless as the beats they rode on, obeying, capturing and killing convicts and those who were criminals of the worst kind.

Odin said nothing, the crime rate was dropping and there was fear of the upcoming King once again.

The people thought he had gone soft over the years of his rule, he hadn’t been able to erase that mark from his legacy so he was proud of how his heir was bringing the respect and intimidation back into the realms.

Little did he know that Tyr was angry, he was hurt and alone.

His mother had been everything to him and now he had lost her.

Every time he thought of her he wanted to hurt, harm and kill.

He knew no one was to blame and that only made it worst, only made him angrier.

It was apparent, now, as he fought the marauders currently pillaging Vanahiem.

The fight was all but lost, it had seemed, when Tyr and his men had been surrounded by men and women robbing, killing and destroying the villages in Vanahiem. It resulted not only in loss of life, but the monsters set fire to the fields they desecrated and left Vanahiem with higher priced grains and other food.

It was upon the King’s summoning that Tyr had been called and now, he fought with his blades, slicing and cutting through flesh of every foe he saw. Be it a man or woman, he cared not, and his armor, black as night, glittered with the blood spilt upon it.

His swords were slathered with blood as he leapt into the air and spun, cutting off the head and arm of an attacking opponent. There was chaos everywhere, there was blood seeping into the ground.

His men ran here and there, The Herlid of Frigga killed and tore down the homes of the marauders, killing on Tyr’s command.

And that was where things went wrong.

Their homes were tents, made from tarp and other canvasses – and they housed their families.

The moment Tyr’s men rounded on them, on the women and children, all hell broke loose.

Amid the chaos, it took Tyr a few minutes to understand what had happened. And it took him longer to get it to stop

“No!”

He ran forward, trying to stop his men

“Halt!” he shouted at his men “Halt, I command you, leave the women and children alone!”

Screams erupted from around him, blood splattered the ground … heads rolled.

His men, the very ones he had trained were lost in a bloodlust like never before and he yelled at them, ordered them to stand down.

They didn’t

And in the end Tyr had no choice.

He fought against them, he ran up behind them like a coward and slashed the swords through their necks, beheading them, he pushed it through their chest, impaling them and he stabbed them through their backs.

Like a coward.

A damn, bloody coward.

He killed them all, killed fellow Aesirs he lived with, killed his own men.

Their blood tainted his arms, his hands and hair. It was on his face, on his consciousness. It was before his eyes, ingrained in his skin and he stood there, wide eyed as he saw what he had done.

Men, women, _children_ lay decapitated, lay bleeding and dying right before their eyes. They screamed, they fled and they fell to their knees beside their loved ones.

Their families

He’d killed mothers …

Sons and daughters.

He had killed them.

Tyr’s breath came in short pants, his blue eyes were wide and – for the first time in his life – frightened. He turned and fled, dropping his shield, dropping his weapons, he fled and got on his horse.

Behind him, the men and women, the families, the children and parents of those slaughtered screamed in torment, in loss and agony.

His horse felt his torment and it slammed its hooves into the ground, running past and ignoring everything in it’s path.

Its eyes were wide, his footsteps frightened and it galloped away, running to the one place where it could take its master home and to his king for his penance.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Arranged Marriages are tricky, more so when the Fates arrange them

As it happened, Odin was in his chambers, drinking and reading a letter written by his youngest. It was addressed to Jotunhiem, to the Jotun prince Loki.

Odin had always monitored the letters his family sent, as a King, he had taken a vow against protecting his realm from all sorts of threat – and that included his family. The man was caring when he was a father and he was soft when he was a husband. Tonight, he was a King and that only made him ruthless.

His single eye read the elegant lines scrawled upon the paper, a stark contrast to his writing and Tyr’s.

Odin had always thought of Thor as fair rather than handsome and let Frigga do whatever she wished to him. To him, Thor was his son, aye, but he had always been Frigga’s toy first. To make her happy, he had indulged him just as much as she had.

Now, however, as he read through his letter, he realized that Thor was a disappointment.

Something forbidding had taken Odin over long ago, when his wife had left him here, and it only grew with time.

A year had passed since her passing and Thor was now a young man. He was nineteen and from all intents and purposes, he was turning into a woman.

His letter, the one Odin held in his hand, made the King snarl in annoyance as he kept on reading.

It was a paper filled with the _feelings_ and infatuations of a boy, trying to be a man.

 _Loki_ it said _I remember you telling me to write to you whenever I so wished. I do not know if you were serious about it, but I will overstep a few boundaries and write to you, anyway. I know you have suffered a great loss and as you know, so have I. I do not want your condolences, lest I break down again. My brother has helped repair what was broken inside me, I will not undo his noble work._

_Yet, I fear that I will._

_Every night, I want her back, every day I wish she was closer to me than she is now. I relive each and every memory I have of her, thinking that as time will pass I will forget them. I loved my mother and she was taken from me, just like you lost your Sigyn._

_I wish to keep her close, I wish to make her place in my heart secure, but I am afraid I cannot._

_At least, not alone._

_I have heard that you were well versed in magic. It is one of the things I could never master, to me it is beautiful, powerful and above all, it is miraculous. I have often longed to see it, but never had the courage to ask a Seidrmadr how their magic worked or what they can do._

_I feel like I can ask you, only because you were kind to me without an alternative motive._

_Loki, I wish to keep safe the memories I have in my head. I remember so much about Mother, I just need an assurance that those memories will not fade. I need them. I want them to stay with me otherwise I will go insane. I write this to you as I try to keep my agonized howling to myself._

_Father does not like to think of me as weak. He already labels me as a woman and prefers my brothers over me. I plan to leave the palace as soon as I am able and own either a farm or become a sailor. I have no need for royalty, I do not want it._

_But I digress._

_Please, I know there are ways to extract and preserve memories, Loki, I have heard of it. If you can do it, or if you know of someone who can help me keep Mother’s memories safe, please let me know. Write back as soon as you can._

_Your Friend_

_Thor_

Odin’s mouth was tightened and he had an urge to break something.

Learning about the fact that Thor talked ill of him to someone, who had been an enemy of Asgard, not nine decades ago, was insulting.

If he wanted to, this act could be taken as one of treason and have Thor flogged.

It might make him more of a man than he was now, but Odin didn’t want to do that. He should teach Thor a lesson, wave this letter in his face and demand to know why he wrote what he did.

But, it would do no good.

Unlike Tyr and Balder, Thor was a weakling.

The thought made Odin blink and he glared at the letter before he scrunched it up, standing up from his arm chair by the window and walking to the fireplace.

His eye was filled with anger, and he suspected it was against himself more than anyone else, when he surged forward to hurl the offending letter into the flames.

The fire had just started lapping at the paper when the doors to his chambers burst open and the old King felt his eyes widen when he saw Tyr run in, covered in blood.

“Tyr!”

Odin had merely taken his name when the Prince fell, reaching Odin, he collapsed by his feet, his bloody hands holding the ends of his father’s robe.

“My King!” Tyr gasped “I have erred! I have made a huge mistake, I cannot undo it!”

Odin was on his knees in an instant, pulling him up.

“Mercy, I beg for mercy!” Tyr cried out when his father held him

“Get up” he ordered “You damn fool, what have you done!?”

He made Tyr sit on one of the couches, saw his cloak paint it with blood when it brushed the surface.

Tyr could barely breathe, he could barely talk, and Odin knew that whatever he had done, was for the worst.

Yet even as he prepared himself, even as he told him what happened, Odin was unprepared.

His eye was wide, his lips made no sound as he tried to speak.

What had Tyr done?

What had Tyr done!?

***

The repercussions of everything from ripples to murder, always ended up in something far greater than the one causing it expected.

When Tyr had built is army or mindless men, he had never thought that they would all be killed by his own hand, that their blood and those of the innocent families that had once lived in the woods of Vanahiem, would be painted upon his hands. Never had he thought that the one thing that was supposed to lead him to glory and give his name the highlight it needed, would be the same thing responsible for his downfall.

And oh, how hard had he fallen.

Where he was once the treasured son of the great King Odin, he now stayed hidden within his chambers, guards outside his door, outside his window, protecting him from any sort of attack that Vanahiem or another realm thought worthy.

The actions he had committed were famous throughout the realms and so was he.

His infamous battle tactics were now turned against him.

He was a threat, not a protector.

Odin’s legacy had been tainted with what Tyr had done and now all Asgard was going to pay for it.

So far, no one other than the Council, the King and a few selected advisors knew what had happened. No one other than a handful of men knew why Odin had suddenly decided to settle upon a dinner with the King and Queen of Vanahiem.

To them, it was a cordial meal, shared with friends.

Odin knew better.

He sat, with his advisor and with his second son, on the dinner table.

The tabletop was lined with delicacy upon delicacy but to the visiting royalty, they might as well have been the rotten, decapitated heads of the men, women and children killed by Tyr’s merciless hand.

There was a deafening silence that proved stifling. Balder had tried talking twice, both attempts had failed and now he too, sat, trying to coax himself into eating the pheasant before him, sitting cold in his plate.

It was as useless an endeavor as the last two he had of trying to converse.

Perhaps a joke, if he could think of one good enough, or maybe he could simply run through the stained glass mural that separated the dining and withdrawing room, would start conversation.

His mind was playing around with possibilities when the Vanahiem King, King Njord, cleared his throat.

Beside him, Odin tensed and Balder inhaled sharply.

“You are aware, of course” Njord spoke, his voice deep and resonating “Of what I can charge your son with”

Odin nodded “I am”

“Yet you make no move to talk or defend him” Njord frowned “Why?”

“Because we all know what he has done was wrong” Odin said “I am willing to pay blood money, I am willing to have him serve a sentence if he has to, we will do anything to pay recompense for this slight”

Balder licked his lips and tried not to turn his hand into a fist as he worried.

Tyr had no idea what was going to happen, and his future was the one at stake.

Njord’s wife shared a look with Balder and the prince guessed that things were going to go downhill rapidly the longer they conversed. And it was clear it was against her wishes.

Yet she was not allowed to speak – women in Asgard were far stronger and more liberal than those in Vanahiem, so Balder had to watch the sad destruction of whatever strained peace Vanahiem had with Asgard.

“And what if we do not demand recompense?” Njord asked Odin, his silvery eyes looking at Odin “What if your son’s actions had destroyed the trust we have put in you?”

Balder almost wanted to laugh

Vanahiem had always been jealous of Asgard, there were always Vanir thieves running about in the Realm Eternal, smuggling secrets and whatnot from the realm.

Odin had never ordered their execution, Vanahiem was just looking for a way out of the treaty they had with Asgard.

Not for war, no, Balder suspected this was being done to form an alliance with Jotunhiem.

Since Thor’s feast, Jotunhiem had become a beacon for all realms. Since she was in the middle of the worlds, using her lands to form trading routes would serve three large realms and profit would increase.

Asgard had the bi frost, the other realms had floating vessels.

Vanahiem was famed for having beautiful ships that floated upon the stars themselves. The journey these ships took had to go around Jotunhiem, since there was no authorization from the King to land on the ice and snow.

Odin had told Balder that if Jotuhiem allowed them to land there, Vanahiem trade would increase tenfold and one of the rarest gems would be bargained for.

Jotun Diamonds were the most exotic and expensive jewel in all nine realms.

They were so rare and costly that Odin had only one.

No other King had this jewel and Balder suspected that a treaty broken with Asgard would pave a way for Vanahiem to get their hands on the diamond trade.

Everyone knew that Jotunhiem, though cordial with Asgard, was its enemy.

The two realms had fought numerous wars and taken part in failed treaties.

Nothing would ever be well between the realms.

But with Vanahiem, perhaps the chance of business was greater than before.

Odin narrowed his eye “Then I will say that it is a mistake on your part. Asgard is strong”

“We can always ally ourselves with someone stronger” Njord said “Someone who does not come into my world and kill my people”

“I would like to point out that you were the one who called my son to get rid of those marauders” Odin said, his voice rising with his temper

“I asked him to kill them, not their families!”

“Tyr saved them!” Odin slammed his fist on the table, jarring the contents of glasses and jugs sitting upon the surface “He killed his own allies to save your thieves!”

“Your son and his monsters killed children” Njord said, standing slowly “Consider this an end to our peace, Odin.”

His wife took the cue and stood, so did Balder

“Majesty…” the prince held out a hand in pleading to Njord

“Let them go” Odin held up a hand “It is clear he has made up his mind”

“Do not speak ill of my reaction” Njord growled at Odin “I am right in whatever reaction I deem fit. It is only respect for your late wife that stops me from waging war upon you. I have Alfhiem and Svartalfhiem on my side, if you remember, and I will have more. They have more loyalty to me than they do to you. Your realm would not have survived if I had attacked. But I will settle for a warning”

Odin’s mouth was tight, his face pale in anger.

“If I see an Asgardian on my land again” Njord said “I will not hesitate to kill them. Your kind is no longer welcome on my lands, that is your punishment!”

Balder’s eyes widened as Njord stormed away.

He made to go after him but Odin held on to his cape, making him stop and watch as their guests stormed out.

The doors banged behind them, Njord’s anger and the edge of his cape were the only things he saw before he realized that they might be in trouble.

If Njord spoke the truth, then Asgard needed more allies than he previously thought.

“Robar…”

Balder turned at the sound of his father’s voice and saw him talk to his advisor.

“Would you be so kind” Odin said “as to go and fetch me a carriage? I wish to depart from this realm as soon as possible.”

Odin’s voice shook and Balder realized that this was the oncoming Sleep, the very one Frigga had died waiting for.

“F-Father?”

Odin looked at Balder and smiled

“Worry not, my son” he said, extending a hand

Balder immediately helped him up.

“I will take care of this” Odin said “Worry not”

“What have you in mind?” Balder asked

Robar had guessed before him, Balder ventured, so he did not stay, opting to stand and leave to do as Odin asked.

“If I know Njord, and I do” Odin looked at him “He will head to Jotunhiem first thing in the morning. I intend to beat him there”

Balder gaped “Jotunhiem!? Father, you cannot be…”

“I have to be” Odin said softly, looking into his eyes “For if he gets their alliance before I do, Asgard will be in peril. Should times of war descend upon us, we will be vastly outnumbered. We need their magic and their loyalty. Otherwise we are doomed”

Balder listened to him, then nodded “Let me dress in something warmer, then.”

Odin looked at him and smiled.

“Uninvited, are you not?”

Balder laughed softly “Well if you fall flat on your face in the snow, someone has to drag your body about”

Odin laughed and as always, felt some of the stress release.

He placed a loving hand atop his son’s head, affection clear in his gaze.

But Balder saw the hint of worry in his eye, and realized that matters – and possibly their lives – were going to change forever.

***

Loki was laying on his bed, his eyes once more focused on the ceiling.

There was a crack upon the ice glass surface that had never bothered him, but every time Sigyn lay next to him, he would complain, he would ask Loki to have it iced over because it irritated him.

Loki had always told him he would get around to him and wanted him to be patient.

If he had known then what he knew now, Loki would have fixed every crack in the palace, all by himself. He would have done it till his back cracked and he couldn’t walk.

If only it would have changed what happened that night, if only he had his family back.

Aye, family.

He was ready to raise a family.

He was going to have a family.

Idly, Loki’s hand went to his middle, rubbing his belly where his child had once grown. Where Sigyn’s baby had been living inside him.

Even over the cloth he could swear he felt the scar that lay underneath. He had seen it and touched it so many times that it was engrained in his memory. It was there, forever etched into his mind, just like that night was.

If only he hadn’t called to him, if only he had taken his punishment and let Sigyn live.

If he hadn’t screamed for him…

He would still be here.

He would still bloody be here!

Loki blinked and he felt two thick tears slide from his eyes and into his hairline.

His control was breaking again and he took a shuddering breath, turning to his side and curling up in his cold, empty bed. He was still in mourning and still wearing black, he was a contrast against the white furs as he lay there, his knees pulled up to his chest, his bare feet sliding on the fur as he rubbed his face against them.

His hand clenched in the sheets just as the door to his room was opened.

Loki didn’t look up, he didn’t acknowledge who it was.

If he was lucky, someone was going to come in and kill him.

So he could be with his baby and husband.

Yet his luck was worse, in his opinion, because it was Helblindi who walked in.

His hair was longer than before and tied back and there was a grin on his face as he carried a large tray, laden with food.

“Awake, dear heart, I have brought you a feast”

His voice was jolly, his words were from the prologue of Loki’s favorite, most cherished book and he often said to either Laufey or Helblindi when he walked into a room. But when he saw Loki, he stopped because he could almost feel the pain Loki was resonating.

He exhaled softly and walked to him, went over to his bed and set down the tray he had at the foot of the bed before he took a seat closer to Loki, placing a loving hand on his shoulder.

“Loki?” he said softly “Do you need me?”

Loki’s reply was a soft, bitten off cry and Helblindi sighed, gently turning him over till Loki could hide his face against him. He held his hand and wept against it, making Helblindi’s heat break.

“Oh, Loki…”

Loki shook his head but said nothing and Helblindi gently brushed his hair back with his free hand, rubbing circles on his back.

“I wish you would tell me how to help you” he said, feeling tears prickle his eyes at seeing his brother in such a state “A radiance has been extinguished within you, I see it in your eyes. I grieve it so much, I can hardly tell you. Please, I beg you to tell me how to fix it”

He kissed his head and brushed his hair back.

He let him cry it out, he let him calm all by himself.

Once, there were strong arms to help, now, even though almost two years had passed, Loki still needed those. Perhaps, sometimes he felt phantom limbs, if hearing his sudden crying through the night was anything to be measured by.

Perhaps he was as lonely as Helblindi feared.

Perhaps he was losing his little brother to grief and could do nothing about it.

Helblindi gave a sad sigh and kept on whispering soft words to him, to cry and help, to try and do something for him, at least.

But no, nothing happened.

They could have stayed like that forever and nothing would have happened, both of them locked in pain. They could have spent eternity that way, not a single thing would have changed.

Yet, it did.

The doors were opened and Helblindi looked, immediately shielding Loki by throwing his cloak over him, letting it fall from his magnificent shoulders on to his brother’s grieving form.

Their father stood at the door.

Laufey was tall, at a single glance, he was a brute, but his heart was as soft and fragile as Loki’s. The man could not stand another in pain, not since he lost his beautiful Farbauti.

Loki and Helblindi didn’t much remember their Dam. He was beautiful the most beautiful Jotun in the entire planet, as far as Laufey was concerned. Is hair was twisted into curls, his eyes always held mischief.

He had been like Loki – different

A runtling.

Loki had taken after him so much that often when he walked into a room, Laufey was fooled into thinking his Farbauti was back.

Which was why seeing Loki in pain was killing him, making it hard for him to take in the sight. His blue eyes, reminiscent of Helblindi’s and wide, focused on his sons.

“Get dressed” he panted, stunned so much that it made Helblindi frown “We – We are expecting company”

Who and what the company was, Helblindi wanted to ask, but Laufey had run out just as quickly as he had come in and Helblindi sat there, blinking at the door he had left open.

A sniff made him look down and he saw Loki sit up and push his cloak off.

His veil, the one destined for his head as long as he grieved, was resting on his shoulders. He brushed tears off his lashes and touched the backs of his hands to his flushed, heated face.

“May I have some water?”

His voice was hoarse and thick because of his weeping.

“Of course”

Helblindi was up in an instant, getting Loki the goblet he had placed on the tray. It didn’t have water in it, it had Loki’s favorite juice.

Loki didn’t react much, he barely did now, but Helblindi heard the pleasant hum he gave when he tasted the apples, beets and carrots Helblindi had put into the juice.

He lowered the glass and licked his lips before he looked at his brother.

“Thank you” he said softly

He reached up to pull the veil on his head and looked at his brother

“How do I look?”

Helblindi sighed “Sad”

Loki gave him a wan smile before he sighed and stood

“Come on” he said “Best get this over and done with then”

Helblindi stood “Agreed, my brother”

He placed an arm around Loki’s shoulders, letting him rest his head upon his own, larger shoulder, and led him out, taking a longer route to the throne room just so Loki could prepare himself in the precious minutes he would be granted.

***

Who they saw, once they eventually _did_ enter the throne room, made both Jotun princes stumble and gape.

A million questions went through their minds, a hundred thoughts collided and one single fear was etched into their hearts.

_Why was he here?_

Odin sat on a chair at the foot of the dais. Beside him, was Balder was standing on alert, his head tipped up slightly so he could look at their father as he spoke.

Loki and Helblindi were confused, but they did not speak. They had their heads lowered and walked forward. The veil fell off Loki’s head and he raised his hands to fix it just as Odin looked at him.

His feet suddenly wanted to stay rooted and Loki stumbled, prompting Helblindi to straighten him and leaving a slightly worried look in Balder’s blue eyes.

“Your Majesty”

Helblindi went forward first, bending down and kissing Odin’s rings; a sign of respect that Balder had already bestowed upon Laufey. He waited for Odin to touch his head in a sign of respect, then stood and let Loki take his place. Just like his brother, Loki knelt on one knee and kissed Odin’s ring.

He waited, as Helblindi had done, but his heart skipped a beat when Odin flicked his veil off before he touched his head. The moment he let go, Loki retreated, looking at the floor and fixing his veil once more.

He went to his brother’s side again, giving Balder a small nod, which the prince returned with a friendly wink. It made Loki smile, just a little, but faded when he saw Odin look at him again.

“As you were saying?” the Allfather prompted Laufey

Laufey looked at both his sons before he nodded “Sit, both of you”

There were two seats flanking the throne and both Loki and Helblindi made their way towards them. Loki sat on the left, Helblindi on the right, since he was the crowned prince. His status was higher and there was no doubt that Odin was thinking about something, possibly involving both of Laufey’s sons.

“I was saying” Laufey continued, looking at Odin “That if you had informed us, prior to your visit, we would have been able to better accommodate you. Instead, we are ashamed to give you the – the very least when it comes to hospitality”

Odin waved a hand “The fact that you welcomed us is enough. I will not forget it, Laufey”

Helblindi and Loki shared a look.

Some plot was unfolding before them, hidden from their eyes.

The brothers went on the alert and listened to the conversation, looking for an implication or an innuendo that revealed what went on in the mind of Odin one eye.

Yet all he and their father did was share pleasantries!

“How could we not?” Laufey said, being friendly now that Odin paved the way for him “But I am somewhat confused as to why you came here? We could have easily come to you”

Like a servant to a master, Loki thought.

His father was laying it on thick, in his opinion.

He acted like they were the weaker race, which Loki realized that they were in a few areas, but they managed to feed themselves and have a proper budget that everyone followed. It was something to be proud of, even if they had almost no visitors or balls or whatever luxuries the other realms had.

Odin seemed to agree with Laufey and smiled

“I want to be the first to open trade with Jotunhiem” Odin said

Loki and Helblindi stilled

“I wish to form an unbreakable alliance”

The brothers looked at one another

“I came” Odin said, very bluntly “To ask for your son, Helblindi’s hand in marriage to my son Balder”

Behind him, Balder, who had made no sound, tensed and a soft gasp escaped him.

Laufey was just as stunned “H-Hel!? Odin, he can’t survive in the heat! It is impossible!”

“There are ways” Odin went on, ignoring their unease “I came for the purpose of bring these two together and showing all other realms that Asgard is ready to create ties with you. Because, let us be frank, your realm needs us”

“Our realm is fine” Loki said, speaking up suddenly and louder than he intended

“I am aware” Odin told him “But we will teach you how to better the resources you have, plus we will export more grain and food to your lands, give you an open pathway into Asgard, ally our armies, be one of the most powerful beings in all the realms”

“Power is not everything, my lord” Loki said “I …”

Loki broke off when Laufey placed a hand over his more slender one.

One look at his face, when Loki turned his head, and he knew Laufey was considering it.

“Father-“

“Enough, Loki” Laufey said softly

Helblindi wasn’t happy, either, but he held his tongue, sitting there calmly.

Laufey turned to Odin

“May we delay the answer until my sons and I can converse?”

“Of course” Odin said graciously

Loki’s eyes narrowed as the man stood, a smile upon his face.

“I will visit again tomorrow, for your answer”

Laufey blinked “What? You will not stay?”

“I fear young Loki does not agree with me staying” Odin said “We will depart”

Loki sat there, mouth agape, Laufey glaring at him, shocked speechless at Odin’s clever play.

Yet he could do nothing as he watched Laufey run after them, run after the Asgard King, watching as he tried to soothe the ‘tension’ Odin had created.

It would be comical if …

If it wasn’t.

Helblindi sighed beside him and Loki turned, frowning at him

“You are not considering it” Loki said “Don’t even try to”

Helblindi looked at him, blue eyes shining “It … It could be worse…”

“Aye?” Loki asked, glaring “And it could be better! What about Heron? Hmm? Have you forgotten him? All the promises you have made him?”

Helblindi, the smitten, whipped and hopelessly in love Jotun sighed.

“Loki…”

“No” Loki said “I will not – not respect you if you throw that away. You have something special with him, why not…”

“You know why” Helblindi said softly, his eyes sad “He is a widower. There are laws against this for us, who know it”

“I hate that stupid law” Loki said “No one should not be allowed to wed the person they love most, not because of some stupid law!”

Helblindi laughed at his irritation “I see now why he didn’t ask for your hand”

Loki glared “Shut your mouth! You know why I am saying this. You love him and he loves you. That is all”

Helblindi refrained from speaking more on the subject.

Loki was right, yes, he should not wed Balder.

But at the same time, this was his chance to get Jotunhiem the help they needed. Loki thought them proud, he thought them perfect and though that was heartwarming, it was also naïve to think they could carry on this way.

Jotunhiem was not progressing.

And even though Loki denied it, Helblindi realized this was a helping hand they needed. Other realms were so far ahead and Jotunhiem had the reputation of a frozen wasteland.

The only thing they had were their diamonds but Laufey had such a high price on them that no one bought them, should they open trade perhaps Laufey would be given the chance to taste the luxuries and fineries that all the other realms enjoyed.

It was a hard choice to make alone but Helblindi knew there was only one answer when it came to Odin and what he offered.

He offered Asgard.

And Helblindi knew Laufey would not want him to deny it.

***

***                  

Later, that very night, the doors to the stables opened gently, letting in the cold air before they shut, letting the lone Jotun into the building.

His blue eyes were bright and focused on the sole occupant of the stables, as he stood before the horses, lovingly cooing to them as he fed them their dinner.

Heron, named after a graceful, exquisite bird from Midgard, lived up to his name. He was long, graceful and had a neck that Helblindi could spend hours worshipping. He loved the taste of his skin, loved his scent, loved his long, wavy hair.

He was the most beautiful creature Helblindi had ever seen. His pale skin, delicate hands and soft voice made him one of the most sought after and often chased, men in the capital.

Before they were together, Helblindi had thrown away offering after offering of precious gifts given to Heron by his admirers.

He wanted to be the only one who was important and worthy of giving Heron presents, he was the only one who wanted to be there for him. And slowly, a whole year invested into his attempt at wooing the beautiful, captivating Jotun, Helblindi had been bestowed a kiss by the ever graceful Heron.

He remembered that day well and as he looked upon Heron, from head to toe, he smiled as he caught the small scar on his ankle that the prince himself had given him.

He kissed it every time they were in bed and made love to him slowly, starting his sensual kisses from that scar, up to where he could look into his frosty, blue eyes. When he kissed his pink lips, Helblindi forgot the world, when he looked at him, as he was now, he realized he cared about and remembered no one other than him

Other than the beautiful Heron.

He took a step forward and Heron turned to him, his eyes twinkling, his lips curving into a smile.

“My Prince” he smiled “A surprise, your presence is”

 _My_ Prince…

Heron never said it in respect, he said it to remind themselves both of how Helblindi was _his_ just like he was he was.

His eyes shined when he looked upon his lover and Helblindi beamed, all the affection, love and care he had for Helblindi openly visible in his eyes.

It disarmed the prince and he gave him a smile, easily termed ‘goofy’.

“Heron” he said, the word, the name lilted with love “You – You weren’t there at the…”

“Gardening Events are hardly my forte” Heron purred – aye, he purred – and pet the mane of the animal closest to him “I prefer fauna to flora”

Poetry, his words were poetry

And it wrapped Helblindi tighter around his finger

“Besides” he said, no purred again, flicking some hair out of his face “You were busy with the visiting royalty”

“I have little choice, as you know”

The prince walked closer to him and smiled, his eyes looking into his lover’s, his breath caught in his throat. He smiled again, that silly smile Heron loved so much and blinked

“I have forgotten what I wanted to say” he complained softly

Heron smiled and brushed his hair back “Worry not, my love, you will get the words right”

Helblindi smiled and took his hand in his own.

The contrast was startling. The prince was a warrior, his hands were large, calloused, Heron had soft, delicate hands that worked on soft, gentle things.

Helblindi kissed his wrist and looked into his eyes

“Come” he said softly “There is a feast in my room, awaiting you and I”

Heron blushed “The horses…”

“Can wait a few hours” Helblindi said, tugging him closer “Come on”

Heron offered no resistance after and let him take him away, once Helblindi had his cloak on. The wind was picking up and flapping the fabric once they were outside. Heron locked the stables and put his hand in Helblindi’s so they could walk out together.

No one knew of their relationship, save Loki.

He helped his brother see Heron, hid them from their father, who would be outraged at learning who Helblindi was with.

Heron was no one in Laufey’s eyes.

A servant’s servant, he would say, not worthy of his love.

Their love was meant to be hidden.

Helblindi led him in through a servant’s passage, taking them past the others who all turned away, pretending to have seen nothing. There were a few smiles and teasing winks for Heron, which made him blush brightly, but otherwise there was nothing but an open path for them.

Nothing but their privacy for them.

Opening the small door that led servants into his room every day, Helblindi led in his lover and smiled, closing the door behind them.

Heron’s soft gasp upon seeing what was before him was reward enough for Helblindi.

The prince smiled when he saw that his orders had been followed to the letter.

A long table, set with all sorts of fruit, meats, fish, salads, vegetables, sweets and drinks was readied for them. There were candles being lit for them and Heron snickered when he saw _who_ was lighting them.

“Loki!?”

Helblindi’s loud yelp made his brother look up.

His eyes still grieving, his veil upon his head, his brother looked every bit the prince and dreaded match maker that he was.

“What?” he asked innocently “You think I would do all this for you and _not_ join you?”

Heron giggled and bowed “Prince Loki”

“Heron” Loki bowed “Have you taught this brute no manners? See how he treats me”

“You are an insect!” Helblindi growled “I told the servants to do this”

“Aye and all the trustworthy servants are preparing the palace for the hot assed piece of Aesir bear that is currently strolling the halls” Loki snapped “You want your secret to be known!?”

Helblindi gaped and Heron had to put a hand over his mouth to conceal his laughter.

“You little…”

“You are welcome, Helblindi” Loki simpered “Do sit down and enjoy the meal”

Helblindi grit his teeth but sighed “Thank you, Loki”

Loki smiled and Helblindi rolled his eyes before he took Heron’s hand and took him to a chair, waiting like the gentleman he was so he could seat him properly before he sat down.

Of course a chair scraped and Loki joined them, but Helblindi didn’t mind – he just pretended to.

“Everything looks delicious” Heron said, picking up his platter “Where to start?”

“With the boar, my dear” Helblindi said “Always with the boar”

“I think he has already started with the boar” Loki added

He yelped a moment later when his brother kicked him under the table. His face was a pleasant, welcoming one not a second later, when Heron looked at him

“Ignore the insect” Helblindi said “Focus on me and the delicious food”

Heron was amused by them both but he did as Helblindi asked and started on the romantic, luxurious meal, wondering what the hell his lover had planned tonight…

…It turned out to be sex.

Mindblowing, exhausting sex.

And more than once!

Heron had often told him that Helblindi was absolutely amazing in bed and it drove the prince on. Tonight, he had experienced it four times before Helblindi was sated enough to collapse in the bed, naked and panting, beside him.

His moist lips, his wet moans were something Helblindi lived for and Heron had delivered them tonight. He was just as limp, lying there, unable to move.

“That was _fantastic!”_

Helblindi chuckled and pulled him closer, laying on his side, one hand propping up his head as he drew circles on Heron’s bare arm.

“That wasn’t even my best” Helblindi said “You are getting old”

Heron smiled, his face flushed, hair sticking to his forehead, which Helblindi brushed back lovingly.

“Perhaps” he said “Or perhaps I need to try and do something to catch up”

Helblindi hummed and kissed his shoulder “Oh? Like what?”

“Like not having Loki in the room when we start” he sniggered, recalling the incident

The bed shook as Helblindi started to laugh as well “Gods above the look on his face!”

Loki had never run so fast in his life! It was endlessly amusing for Helblindi.

“I will keep reminding him of that”

Heron laughed and settled, looking down when Helblindi’s hand snuck over his middle, and picked it up. He brought it to his mouth to kiss.

“Helblindi” he said softly “I wish to tell you something”

“Aye?” Helblindi asked, kissing his shoulders, his muscled leg going up and down Heron’s “Tell me everything”

The younger man was nervous and he took a deep breath, which made Helblindi frown

“Love?”

“You will think me vile”

Helblindi frowned “Heron …”

He turned him, making him face him and look into his eyes “Love, what is it?”

Heron looked at him, all ease gone from his body “I swear, I did not plan it, it just happened, I would never do this to you …”

He broke off when Helblindi put a hand over his mouth.

“Just tell me” he said softly “It’s alright”

Heron swallowed thickly, his eyes becoming watery.

He licked his lips nervously “Helblindi … I – I’m pregnant”

***

_“You understand why you have to do this, Son?”_

_Laufey’s voice was strong, it always was. Helblindi’s was shaking. He was shaking, too, if he were honest. An hour ago he was in his lover’s arms._

_Now he was being sold off._

_“Hel?”_

_Helblindi swallowed and looked up at his father “I …”_

_“You **know** why you have to do this, do you not?” Laufey asked, his voice firm, but his eyes kind._

_Helblindi looked up at him, his heart racing_

_“Father, I’m …” he broke off_

_I can’t!_

_I am about to be a father!_

_I am already in love!_

_He could have damned himself if he said all those things._

_“What’s wrong?”_

_I do not want to marry Balder, Helblindi should have said, I love someone else_

_“Nothing” the man smiled instead, his blue eyes fixed on his father’s face “I would love to wed Prince Balder”_

***

Loki was whistling as he headed to his brother’s chambers.

He did not know of the conversation that had taken place between him and his father, so he was blissfully unaware of what was going on behind his doors.

His gait jolly, for once, he could hear his heels click against the polished ice floor as he walked to get his brother for lunch.

Apparently, his father had ordered a feast. Possibly to impress that Balder.

He raised a hand to push his doorknob down the same moment he registered the angry voices inside.

Loki froze

He thought they were coming from outside, that two guards were arguing. But he felt dread curl in his chest when he realized it was his brother and Heron.

Loki cursed and pushed in the door and walked in just as Heron hurled a vase at Helblindi, who dodged it and let it hit the wall before it crashed to the floor where another already lay broken.

“You dirty liar!” Heron screamed

His face was red, tear stains on his cheeks, his eyes were filled with more tears and his expression was broken. A sob ripped from his throat when he saw the vase break and he looked around for something else to throw.

“I said I have no choice!”

“Liar!” Heron picked up a glass, ready to throw it at him

Loki jumped into action when Helblindi saw him

“Heron!”

He ran to the younger man and grabbed his wrist, taking the glass away

“What the hell is going on!?”

Heron gave a loud cry and turned, putting his arms around Loki and crying, his body tense, his grief fresh.

“He’s leaving me!” he cried “He’s leaving me for Asgard!”

Loki gaped and looked at Helblindi

“You agreed?” he whispered

Helblindi had the grace to look away and Heron only cried harder, until Loki placed a hand behind his back and rubbed it to calm him down a little.

“I had to” Helblindi said “Loki, you …”

“You didn’t have to!”

Loki blinked and stepped back when Heron exploded again, spinning to face his brother

“You made a promise to me!” he yelled “To me and the life we created! You cannot break it!”

Stillness fell in the room, upon Loki, upon Helblindi and upon Heron, who was writhing in pain despite the fact that his future was actually brighter than it seemed now.

Not that he knew.

“I will take care of you” Helblindi said “I will take you with me, my child…”

“Will be the child of a whore if you do!” Heron sobbed

His façade broke

“You can’t leave me, I have no one!” he cried “Please don’t do this!”

Helblindi shook his head when Heron brought his hands before him and joined them in a pleading gesture.

“Please” he begged “I can’t raise a child when I am unwed … They will ostracize me”

“Love, please…”

Helblindi took a step forward “Please, try to …”

He broke off when a shadow moved behind Loki.

The way the color drained from his face, Loki didn’t have to look behind him to know who stood there, or think about what he had or had not heard.

Because Laufey had heard everything.

His face was angry and he was clutching the doorjamb so hard, Helblindi thought he would break it. A feral growl erupted from his throat and Heron gasped and went to Helblindi, letting him shield him behind him.

Loki slowly turned around and stared at his father

“Child?” Laufey hissed, his eyes boring into Helblindi’s “You got him with child!?”

The room seemed to shake and Loki moved away, unconsciously taking Helblindi’s side.

“Do you have any idea of what you have done!?” Laufey thundered “You got a common whore pregnant!?”

“He is not a whore!” Helblindi said “And I love him!”

“Then what you promised me in the room was a lie!?” Laufey roared “You lied to me over him!?”

He lashed out and Heron sobbed when he toppled Helblindi’s lamp, letting it fall to the floor and the lighting flicker out. Loki pressed himself against the cabinet, watching it all with a detached sort of horror.

This was not happening

This was not real!

“I didn’t lie!” Helblindi said “But I knew you would never let me wed him…”

“I would sooner die!”

“…So I asked him to come with me and stay in Asgard!” he said “Keep him as my concubine”

There was silence after and Loki froze, expecting the worst.

Then Laufey suddenly lashed out and slapped Helblindi across the face.

Loki cried out and ran to intervene.

“Father, please!” he pleaded, grabbing his wrist “Don’t!”

Laufey yanked his hand away and shoved Loki back, making him stumble and trip over the remains of the lamp. He fell on the floor and looked up to see Laufey hitting Helblindi, hurling insults at him, driving him into a corner.

Heron ran forth and grabbed Laufey’s wrist.

“My King, stop it!”

Laufey turned, swift and lethal, even in his old age, and grabbed Heron around the throat. The boy choked, his eyes going wide, his hands coming up to grasp Laufey’s wrist, trying to get him to release him. He sobbed and grit his teeth, tears slipping from his eyes as Laufey started to squeeze.

“You ruined everything” Laufey snarled, lifting him off the floor, off his feet “You dared to do the worst to my son, you whore!”

Heron kicked and struggled in his grip, tears falling from his eyes, sobs escaping his lips as Laufey squeezed harder and harder…

“No!”

Laufey grunted as something hard and unyielding hit the back of his head, hitting him with such stunning force than he fell forward, Heron and all.

Heron gasped, kicking and struggling to get away from him, coughing as air went into his lungs, and looked at Laufey.

The King was knocked out and lay there, at Helblindi’s feet, the prince looking down at him with a metal trophy in his hands.

Loki was sitting there, shocked, his eyes wide.

Blood slipped from a cut at the back of Laufey’s head and Loki looked at it, frozen in horror at what Helblindi had done.

He was numb to everything, numb to the world as he stared, still and barely breathing.

Helblindi and Heron gathered as much as they could, both of them scared to death. They took two cases and said something to Loki but Loki didn’t hear it.

He was focused, solely on the blood slipping from Laufey’s head and the fact that his father could be dead.

***

There was a heavy, frightening tension when Odin arrived in Jotunhiem eight days after he was supposed to.

Balder was home, sent by Loki when Laufey suffered a nasty fall and told to wait, politely because Loki was a gentleman, until the King woke.

If the King woke.

But the King definitely woke.

And the moment he did, a plan formed in his head that not even Loki was allowed to know. The King was furious with Loki, believing him to be a part in Helblindi’s scheme. They had made fools of him! They had dared to strike him!

And they had succeeded in getting Heron and Helblindi away from him.

Laufey was downright frightening when he wanted to be.

And they would know it.

Odin ascended the stairs alone and this time, Laufey was ready. His large ice crown hid the bandages atop his head so he looked as kingly and regal as ever. He was taller than Odin, something that the All Father disliked, and he smiled as he climbed down the stairs of his dais to come meet with Odin himself.

“Ah, my lord” he greeted “You have returned”

Odin nodded and looked at him “I heard you suffered an accident. Pray, are you well enough to be making life changing decisions?”

Laufey laughed at the jest “It will take more than a hit to the head to make me alter my plans”

Odin noticed that even though he had put a friendly shoulder around him, addressed him and had replied to him, his eyes were focused on the chair beside his throne.

In it, where once Helblindi sat, Loki was seated, still and nervous. He was unusually silent, unlike last time, making Odin raise an eyebrow and wonder what had transpired and where the Crowned Prince was.

The All Father said nothing, just took the seat on Laufey’s left when he was guided to it and waited for Laufey to sit before he spoke.

“I do not see Helblindi” he said, his voice careful “Is everything alright?”

“Aye, of course” LAufey said “As it turns out Helblindi had declined to my offer of a royal marriage. His heart was set elsewhere and, I feel it is my duty to tell you that he has followed it. Understandably, he is not here. He didn’t wish to upset you”

Odin’s lips tightened and he looked displeased at this development. His eyes slit and he frowned

“You could have told me that without wasting my time, Laufey” he said “I waited eight days so you could reject my proposal?”

Loki tensed in his chair, but froze entirely when Laufey smiled

And it was not pleasant.

“My lord, calm yourself” Laufey said “I never rejected your proposal. Let me explain”

Loki’s breathing had accelerated, he knew what was coming, he was prepared, but the moment Laufey’s hand rested on the back of his head, he couldn’t help but flinch and close his eyes – lest his tears fall.

“I will wed Loki to Balder” Laufey said “He is to be my heir and King to the throne. You could do no better than a King, I am sure”

Loki’s nails dug into the arms of his seat and Odin frowned

“He is in mourning” he said “Is he not?”

Laufey looked at Loki, no sympathy in his gaze in the aftermath of what Loki had done.

He had betrayed him, concealed information and let them escape. Then refused to tell him where they were no matter what Laufey did.

This was simply penance.

“Nay”

His hand clenched in Loki’s veil and he pulled it slowly off his head, letting it land on his shoulders.

Loki gasped softly and his eyes opened, tears glittering in them. He was staring ahead, disbelief etched on his face, his hands shaking.

No …

No!

He wanted to yell but he could not, all he could do was sit there, watch his life be snatched from him again.

“He is done with his mourning” Laufey said, letting Loki go.

He turned to Odin

“If Balder agrees, so do I” Laufey said “And we can proceed as planned”

Odin looked at him, his eye focused on the current King.

The prospect of ruling Jotunhiem, not allying with Asgard, were clear in his mind. With this world under his control, with his mindless drone on the Jotunhiem throne, he would combine two of the most powerful realms and take everything Jotunhiem had to offer.

But there was a problem.

Balder was not mindless, he was sympathetic. Odin raised him to be a good man, he needed a fool for this, he needed someone whose ego would not get in the way, he needed someone who was a toy in his hand, easily moved about. He needed someone stupid and someone that could easily be dominated.

Odin didn’t smile, but his eyes glittered

“Not for Balder, I will not” he said, the person who would be under Odin’s hand was always there before him.

Waiting for this moment.

“I will have Thor wed your son”

***

“Father!”

Odin, who was climbing down from his horse, aided by a guard, looked up when he saw Thor running towards him.

“You have returned!” Thor smiled, taking his arm “How was Jotunhiem? Still as ferocious as you left it in the first battle?”

Odin frowned “What are you talking about? Of course not! It was safe any other realm you know of”

“Oh” Thor said, looking down, chastised “I was merely asking because of the books I read. The ones mother used to read”

“Those are a thousand years old” Odin said “outdated and worthless”

The aged King let his youngest lead him back to the palace, putting his weight on him more fully as they faced the stairs.

Thor took the added burden with grace, helping his father up.

He had started to recover from his grief. His frame was fuller, his cheeks were flushed and his hair was in a thick braid, coming over his shoulder so he could fiddle with it when he studied or worked. At nineteen, the lad was already showing promises of becoming a handsome young man. His blue eyes were always filled with compassion and more often than not, he was one of the kindest people ever to meet.

It was a shame that people rarely met him.

Their loss was far too great.

And like the people who avoided Thor more than anything else, Odin, too, was oblivious to his beauty. He looked at him as some sort of irritation, even as the boy helped him up. Once they reached the top of the stairs, Odin looked at Thor as though he was a nuisance. He longed to take his hand away but he knew, shame coloring his face, that if he did, his steady walk would be impeded.

“Where is Balder?” Thor asked, looking behind him, over his shoulder “He did not come back”

“He is making preparations” Odin answered, walking with him

“For what?” Thor asked, looking at him with big blue eyes “Preparations for what, Father?”

Odin sighed and looked at him, his single gaze thinking of how to tell Thor of his duty and whatnot.

“Thor, you know why you were born to us, yes?”

Thor blinked at him, his childish face smiling. Tyr had made a very bad joke about it, so yes he knew exactly why and _how_ he was here.

But he would never say this to his father.

He would sooner die.

“To serve Asgard, Father” he answered

Odin smirked, just a little “Good. And Thor, do you also know in what ways one can serve Asgard?”

His voice was gentle, for once. He was getting his way, he could spare some patience.

“Of course” Thor said “By being a warrior, protecting the realms, fighting off evil without a hint of hesitation. Or to sit in the Council and make the Realm Eternal safer, Father. Or to sit on the throne and command those under your care so that they lead you with just as much loyalty as you lead them”

Odin had not expected this and a hint of pride came upon his lips before it vanished.

“Excellent answer, my child” Odin said “It was spot on. But you forget one way in which you can serve Asgard and be remembered in history forever”

Thor stopped, so Odin did too.

“Really, Father?” he asked, his eyes wide with childish innocence and adolescent eagerness “Tell me what it is”

Odin smiled “People have frowned upon it for a very long time, they think it is something just for women to do and bear, but norns be willing it will be something that a young man like you will flourish in, I know it”

At those words, Thor’s smile wavered a little.

A womanly art? What was this form of service to Asgard

“What do you mean, Father?” Thor asked, his voice pitched a little lower than last time.

Odin smiled and placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder “I mean marriage, my boy. A sacrifice of the mind, body and soul, that will have people stunned to the point where they will sing praises of the brave soul”

Thor frowned, his gut going cold “M-Marriage?”

He stared at his father “You – You want me to g-get married?”

Oh norns above, let this be a cruel joke! Please let this be a joke!

“Aye” Odin smiled, “To the second son and new heir of Jotunhiem. Loki Laufeyson”

Thor thought he was going to faint. He looked at his father, betrayed. All his life, everything that he had done shattered before his eyes as he realized his father was about to sell him off to – to a cold blooded Jotun who didn’t even write back!

He stumbled back and shook his head

“I – I don’t want to get married” Thor said, his voice soft “Father, please tell me you are joking!”

Oh how he wished he was.

“Nay, I do not jest” Odin said “I will confess that at first, I had thought to wed Balder to…”

“Then do it!” Thor begged “Please let him do it, Father, I – I can’t! I just turned nineteen!”

“But that cannot happen since there were a few complications in that arrangement” Odin continued, then his gaze turned dangerous “You will do this, Thor. It is your duty!”

“I cannot live with Loki!” Thor said “I won’t know what to do! He is … He is so old and I am sure he will prove an obstacle in my routine! I have to train, Brunhilde is teaching me how to use a battle hammer, I cannot have a – a wife to come running to me and ruin it!”

“He won’t interrupt your training” Odin said

Thor felt a little relief in knowing that…

“You will be living in Jotunhiem”

The color drained from Thor’s face and he stared at Odin in horror. He shook his head, tears filling his eyes.

“Father, please” he begged “Don’t make me do this, please…I cannot live there, it is cold and horrible and I won’t be able to survive! I do not know anyone there and I cannot wed a stranger!”

“You will do as I command!” Odin said “You are my son, you are a prince and you will does not matter when it is compared to the good of Asgard. You will marry Loki, you will make the marriage work and you will do as I say when I say, do you understand!?”

Thor didn’t reply.

A heavy sob escaped him and he turned, leaving, his shoes clapping on the floors as he ran, going as fast as he could, as far as he could.

Odin was insane!

He had lost his mine, he was going senile!

Thor was not going to marry a Jotun! Not Loki!

He had sent a letter, with Loki’s words in mind and been disappointed when that did nothing! Loki had lied to him, there was no care for him in Loki’s eyes! He was just a passing fantasy, an illusion he thought of as a friend. He was stupid to think that it could be anything else.

Because with Thor, it was always one thing.

Odin watched him run, not a hint of sympathy in his gaze. The boy was useless and weak. There was only one thing to do with someone like him and the answer was simple.

Odin was going to control him and through him he would take Jotunhiem as Asgard’s own.

And nothing was going to stop him.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> IT'S WEDDING TIME

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SORRY for the nearly MONTH LONG DELAY. But I got really sick, then my granny got really sick. Both of us are better and I will update faster, thank you for bearing with me

When two powerful, unchallenged and stubborn men came to decide on one course of action, there was little that stood in their way. And even that they trampled, uncaring of anyone’s feeling but their own, wanting nothing other than the instigation of their own agenda, those in power will do everything to stay in power and to gain as much as they can.

This was true about only one of the kings that had entered a pact not a month ago.

The other, famed to be ruthless, was actually kinder, more understanding. But, just like Kings were, he was stubborn and stuck to his idea as though he had no choice.

And perhaps he really didn’t, he could never be sure.

What he was sure about, was the fact that he was kind.

He did not wish to hurt his child but there were sacrifices every father, every King, every ruler had to make.

And it was now Loki’s turn.

He knocked on his door, softly, before he pulled the knob down and walked in.

Loki’s chambers had always been large.

When Helblindi was born, Farbauti had become so weak that Laufey had decided not to have another child, that it was too dangerous for him.

A huge room had been constructed to fill it with all the treasures Laufey gave his child, his beautiful Helblindi.

Helblindi had grown and lived in his room for years, happily enjoying the attention of both his parents.

Then Farbauti had told Laufey he was expecting another.

It had been a blessing and it had been a curse.

Farbauti was watched like a hawk throughout his pregnancy and once Loki was born, Helblindi was so smitten and so adamant that is new brother would get the same treatment he got, that he had given up his room.

And from that day, Loki had dwelled in the chambers Laufey entered.

He looked around, wanting to speak to Loki, perhaps to let him know he still loved him – no doubt Loki thought it impossible.

The room was slightly chaotic.

Since the wedding was set for two days hence, the final preparations were being made.

There was a large crystal cabinet being installed in the room, right beside the one Loki used. The bathing room was being altered drastically since young Thor was unused to the ice tub and would probably prefer one like the one Loki already had. But since that was wearing down, a larger one was being fixed, along with enchantments to heat up the water as much as the new couple would want.

When Sigyn lived here, he used everything Loki used. Laufey was told that Thor was younger and, as such, more spoiled than Sigyn was.

It wouldn’t hurt to cater to his needs, if only a little.

As Laufey walked in, he saw Loki carefully packing up and folding items in large boxes. Clothes, books, shoes and various other things.

Laufey knew exactly what they were but he kept his mouth shut about them and walked over to Loki.

His son was by the large bed, a box placed on the furs so that he could fold in the remainder of Sigyn’s items. He was aware of his father’s presence, how could he not be? Yet he didn’t look up.

His green eyes were downcast, his voice subdued.

No amount of begging would ever get Laufey to change his mind, so Loki stopped. He said nothing. He went along with this stupid idea and kept his mouth shut.

And he hoped that he would die so that he could go back to Sigyn.

Laufey sighed and looked at him, waiting for some sort of acknowledgement. His hand curled around the bedpost and he leaned a little against it, watching the baby he had raised to adulthood ignore him with a devotion he was proud of.

Though, at the moment it was turned against him.

Laufey cleared his throat a twice before he sighed and dropped the act.

“You can’t ignore me forever, you know” the King said “You have to speak to me one day”

Loki hummed and picked up a large grey tunic.

Just by the size and softness of it, Laufey knew it was something Sigyn cherished.

And his heart broke a little when Loki folded it and placed it on the bed rather than in the box. He wanted something that was his to sleep in.

“I can try” Loki said, continuing his work

Laufey’s lips curved into a smirk and he watched him

“You just failed”

It was the wrong thing to say apparently, because Loki’s hand faltered.

His eyes, when he looked up at him, were filled with anger, and a sheen of tears made them shine.

“Do you delight in making me angry?” Loki asked, his voice soft “Have you no care for what I feel?”

Laufey shook his head “It was a jest, I was trying…”

“It was a bad one” Loki cut in “You cannot jest, Father, you are horrible at it. Unless it is a horrible jest that only makes you laugh while others suffer”

Laufey watched him sadly, his mouth turned down, just a little.

He knew this was something that was inevitable, that Loki was holding it all in. He thought of Laufey as a threat, possibly an enemy, but since Laufey was a stronger man, it meant Loki had to bite his tongue.

And it had hurt Laufey more than he could say.

Loki and Helblindi had always been open with him.

Now, it seemed like he had pushed them both away. One literally, one figuratively.

But since he loved Loki and knew he needed this outlet, he stayed silent.

Loki needed this more than Laufey needed to be a parent at the moment.

“Isn’t it enough that I lost the husband I loved and actually wanted in my life?” Loki asked, looking at him “Now you are marrying me to a child!”

“He is nineteen” Laufey said matter of factly “And you liked him when you met him that day”

“I don’t even remember that day” Loki snarled “I was attending my husband’s funeral, there was nothing that was going on in my mind other than pain!”

Laufey cocked his head to the side, listening to him

“And even if I did, it doesn’t mean that I will continue to do so!” Loki said, his eyes focused on only his pain “What if he is a spy, what if he is coming here to take everything from us, what then, Father? You will have invited our enemy right into our lands”

Loki threw the last item of clothing he had in his hand, right into the box, before he closed it up and lifted it.

“But it seems you care naught of your realm, just like you care naught of me and Helblindi”

Laufey watched him walk to a corner of the room, where he had piled all the boxes up.

He placed the latest box on the very top before he waved a hand over them. Slowly, one by one, the boxes were enchanted by a protection spell before they sailed upwards, to the highest cupboards in Loki’s room. They were meant for storage and safe keeping, so Loki used them and housed all of Sigyn’s belongings there.

That way, they were close to him.

And healed the fresh wounds Laufey and Thor were going to leave on his spirit.

Laufey was resting back against Loki’s bed, watching him with ever patient eyes. There was nothing that could help Loki more than his anger.

He needed to let this out.         

“You know I care about you” Laufey goaded, wanting him to be done.

He wanted him to stop being in pain

Loki scoffed “Oh, please, that is … utter nonsense”

Even if it meant Laufey was hurting himself.

Loki turned and looked at him, his green eyes tinged with pink.

“How would you have liked it if someone did this to you?” Loki asked, sniffing a little “How would you react if – if you had been married to some strange boy and forced to spend your life with _him_ rather than with the person you loved?”

Laufey shrugged “I liked it. Granted, I didn’t like it immediately, but it turned out to be a life I would never have had if it wasn’t for my father making me wed Farbauti”

Loki was knocked senseless and the Jotun King smiled and slowly walked to him.

“And I wouldn’t have had you, my beautiful son” he said, his voice sincere and filled with the affection he had for Loki “Nor would I have ever held you in my arms and kissed every small hurt you had as a child”

Loki looked at him, a gentle furrow in his brow

“Aye, I loved another” Laufey said, stopping before him and placing his hands on Loki’s shoulders “And for a very long time, I disliked Farbauti. I didn’t talk to him, I didn’t treat him well – I was a fool”

He raised a hand and wiped a tear off Loki’s cheek

“But every day…” Laufey said “I learned, I listened and eventually I realized that I was in love with a Jotun who meant the world to me. Yes, we had fights, we argued and we spent nights outside on the couch without anyone knowing, but at the end of the day, we were strong.”

His blue eyes searched for understanding in Loki’s.

“I am not doing this to make you suffer or because I do not care” Laufey said, a note of pleading in his voice “I am doing this to help my Farbauti. He loved Jotunhiem and seeing it crumble, as it will if we do not get help, will break the last promise I made him”

He sighed and took a step back

“I know the weight of the burden I have placed upon your shoulders” the King said “But I know you can take it, better than anyone on this planet. So I beg you, Loki, think about how this is not a bad thing for you. Nothing can be worse than the loneliness and depressive state I see you in. I cannot watch you with like you are, Loki, look at this”

He took his hand and showed him his wrist.

It was thin, barely there, and Loki felt some color in his cheeks because of shame.

Because Laufey was going this to help him. To help Jotunhiem.

“Please hate me if you must” Laufey said “But do not harm yourself, please”

Loki didn’t look at him, he kept his gaze on the floor.

“Just give him a chance” Laufey begged “One chance, that is all I ask”

Loki bit the inside of his cheek and sighed, tried not hating Thor as much as he hated this situation.

That little … boy … knew Loki was not ready. He could have said no.

But after what Laufey said, Loki would have to be cruel than he was already.

His father was begging, and Loki was not raised to see his parent fall to this level.

So fine…

Fine

_Fine_

He would give that lanky Asgardian a chance.

But if he puts one toe out of line, Loki would make his father throw him back to Asgard without a care in the world.

There was no room in his heart for anyone but Sigyn.

***

Loki had thought that the worst that could happen to him was already in progress that he was going to betray his lover in the most horrible way possible. He thought that the decision he had made, to say yes, was something he would regret forever. He thought that Sigyn’s spirit, his beautiful spirit, would turn ugly as it looked down upon him and saw what he was about to do.

Yet, when it came down to it, Loki was doing something even more terrible than ‘the worst’.

He would wed another, a mere boy, and replace him in his bed and life.

The mere thought had Loki cringing as looked upon the wedding gowns made for him. Placed upon a mannequin and shown off as though they were something made for a happy occasion. They were not going to be worn on a happy occasion. Loki would detest them and remember them only for what they were – prison garbs.

He was a prisoner, nothing else. And as he studied them, it became more and more real – the double life he was going to lead.

They were royal, silver and blue armor, something that Loki had never seen before. To please him, they were made from the light weight silver he was used to wearing, not the heavy armor that the Jotuns were infamous for wearing. As though it was symbolic of the lie that he was not going to feel like a prisoner when he wore them.

There was nothing good about them save for one thing, one simply detail Loki insisted upon.

They were in Sigyn’s style.

Loki had decided that if he was to do this ridiculous thing then he would make sure that everything he did reminded his world of Sigyn, of the man he had been forced to leave, of the life that had been taken away from him. If the lie he was going to lead. He would make sure that every guest knew he was being forced into this, so that they saw his misery and decided against political marriages once and for all.

It was nothing more than glorified people trafficking.

Carefully, despite the urge to hurl it to the floor, he raised a hand and touched the edge of a shoulder piece. It was cold, painfully so but Loki set his hand to it, despite it biting his fingertips. He wanted to see how long he could touch it before it either warmed or bit his fingers.

Rather poetic, Loki thought.

He reasoned that if couldn’t stand the cold without it biting him, how was Thor supposed to stay here? How long before he had to pull away and leave Loki in peace? How long before something horrible happened and he was forced to leave the cold behind to start his own life?

Loki was sure that Thor was going to leave before it was time.

The climate were harsh, the people would be unwelcoming and the Prince – nay, Crown Prince – would be a hostile man. Loki had already thought of being cruel to Thor. There was no other way for him to leave. If he liked it here, then he would stay forever and Loki would never have that.

Thor himself would beg for a divorce and Loki would be freed from this farce. It was ridiculous.

Loki would never love someone like Thor.

Nor could Thor ever love him. The marriage was going to be a disaster that Loki would live through for a short, inconvenient time.

Then, once it was over, Loki would live the rest of his solitary life in peace. He was never going to wed another.

No one would measure up to Sigyn, no one.

The door was suddenly opened with such force that it hit the wall behind it, startling Loki and making him look up.

Two guards were standing there, their eyes looking for Loki

“My lord!” one said, bowing to him and prompting the other to do so as well.

Their armor was tougher, more course and doubled up to keep them safe from the numbing cold. It was designed to move and be flexible but not to give under harsh attacks. Colored in his father’s banner of blue and silver, it glittered as the two men sat up and looked at Loki once again.

“Your betrothed and his family have arrived” one droned “Your Father demands your presence in the throne room and we are to escort you to him”

Ah, the Asgardians were here – perfect.

Loki almost told them to leave him be and tell his father that he was not coming over. That he would hide and bide his time till he starved to death, but no.

That would not do.

He was a prince, and as such, he was above such paltry acts. He was a prince who was about to be wed!

He needed to be happy.

Bah! The nerve of it all!

Loki wanted to stay here and never move again!

But he knew it would not do anything, so he pasted a false smile on his face and nodded, playing along like a good little doll.

“I will be there, thank you”

Dismissed, the guard grabbed the knob and pulled the door shut, leaving Loki in peace – for the moment.

He gave his garment one last look before he turned to his wardrobe.

It was filled with all sorts of items but Loki reached for the diadem that rested upon his head. Black and green gems were set into a silver body.

It was his own design and Loki pulled it out before setting it on his head, recalling how he had gone from market to market, searching and fighting tooth and nail for the last pieces of Jotun emerald that were on display that day and buying them all.

Helblindi had stood shaking his head as Laufey humored his Loki and let him have his jewels.

Loki didn’t even realize how long ago it had been.

He inhaled deeply as he closed his eyes, trying to tell himself he was not nervous. Nervousness was for the weak. He was simply angry.

Not nervous

No

He was angry.

At all those who were going to ruin his life for their own gain. Even Thor.

He opened his eyes and exhaled, looking at the inside of his cupboard.

“Be still, my heart” he whispered “Thou hast suffered more than this”

There was no reply, but Loki felt courage go through him, strength his resolve, make him straighten his shoulders and hold his head up high. He would be brave, he would win this battle.

Surely, Thor would not be able to live here. He would have to go back sooner or later.

Loki just had to guarantee it.

Perhaps it was harsh, but at the end of it all, Loki was sure this would protect his broken heart.

Snapping the door shut was not as satisfying, simply because he couldn’t bang it, so Loki turned smartly on his heel, making sure his irritation showed in his eyes and headed to the door of his room.

He would go downstairs and hopefully set in motion a coldness that would send Thor crying back home.

The thick ice doors opened at but a touch and he walked out, back straight and all.

There was no mercy in his eyes as he passed the halls and went deep into the castle.

Unlike the other realms, the throne room was the safest part of the palace. It was right in the middle of the palace, designed to withstand the might of many an opponent’s weapons. It was big and rounded, and as Loki descended the stairs that led down his tower, he wondered what he would do once he sees Thor.

Being cordial was out of the question.

His father would no doubt insist upon them spending time together before the marriage so Loki would be able to get in a few nasty words so the spoiled brat would probably go running home.

It was strange, Loki thought, that one wrong deed changed Thor for him forever.

Once he was a poor child and now he was someone Loki wanted to hurt.

It might be harsh but it was necessary.

When he opened and walked through the door at the base of the stairs, Loki saw the guards that had come for him, bowing.

“We are to escort you to the King”

‘Escort’ him … more like make sure he didn’t run.

But he said nothing, keeping his head high and his back straight, he walked between the two, making his way to where his father was.

The palace, in Loki’s opinion, was perfection.

It was ice, power and strength. It was a place he had lived in his entire life. There was little else that he loved as much as he love these halls. Yet, as he passed, as he tried not to see the cracks in the walls, the fissures in the floor or the fact that the clothes of the palace servants were rough, torn or patched up. He tried not to think about how they are less than they had before or that coal was no longer abundant. He tried not to think of how the children looked thinner or anything else… anything that proved to him that they needed help.

They did not need help, Jotunhiem was fine.

It was just having a little problematic phase and Loki was sure they would get out of it, unscathed.

Or as close to unscathed as possible.

They had to make it out of this problem, they had to! There was no other option.

Jotunhiem was his home, his life.

If he was in denial about it crumbling, it was understandable.

They managed to get halfway through, heading through an indoor, open roof atrium, when their Captain ran forth from the other side. His armor glinted in the dim lighting the opened roof provided and the helm that covered half his face, gleamed, the plumes of black and silver highlighting his position.

As was custom, no royal was allowed to see the face of their Captain. This was done to keep justice and impartiality in case there was legal violation concerning the Captain.

That, and it was a long standing myth that Captains were notorious for stealing away the Princes of Jotunhiem.

Loki believed the second myth more than the first and lowered his gaze as the man approached.

“The King has demanded you to stay with the guest servants” he said, his voice pitched low “I will escort the prince from here”

“Aye, Captain”

Both men turned and left, leaving Loki alone with the notorious, would be eloper.

The prince waited for the man to turn and lead the way, his green eye on the ground, clearly contemplating how best to get rid of his problem. His footsteps were sure and strong, but how could they not be? He had spent his entire childhood running through these halls, he could navigate with his eyes closed.

Both men headed down the hallway and the door to the throne rooms were within sight when the unexpected happened.

Loki had just lifted his head and his eyes widened when the Captain suddenly turned and grabbed him, shoving him into the nearest nook and slapped a hand over his mouth.

Loki prepared to let out an ear splitting scream and felt his magic course through his veins when the man spoke.

“It’s me! Don’t scream!”

Hearing that voice, hearing him tell him not to scream, made Loki go still. His big green eyes stared as Helblindi pulled the helm off his head to look at Loki, his blue eyes worried for his brother.

He looked the same, but he looked so different.

His blue eyes were tired, his face was thinner, his hair longer. He looked tired, worn down and less princely than he had when he had left them. He looked younger, he looked more mature and Loki could only stare because he didn’t think he would see him so soon again!

Helblindi was dressed as a Captain, it didn’t even occur to him, so much was different that Loki thought that his care for Loki was gone as well, or faded on the face of his own problems.

But his eyes carried the care and love he always had for Loki.

The younger prince gasped and threw his arms around his brother, embracing him tightly, his green eyes filled with emotion, stirring within him the anxiety he did not wish to acknowledge.

“You’re alive!”

Helblindi embraced him back just as tightly, holding him as much as his armor allowed him to. A hand rested behind Loki’s head and Helblindi’s watery gaze was fixed on the wall. So many things went through his head, so many apologies he should say.

But when he spoke, it was in that same ridiculous tone he always used for Loki

“Of course I am” he said, his voice thick “You think it would be so easy to get rid of me?”

Loki gave a breathy laugh before he shook his head.

“You damn fool” he said “You never change. You never can, can you?”

Helblindi laughed and rubbed Loki’s back, just holding his baby brother like he had been wishing to since he heard what happened.

Loki had rested his cheek on his armored shoulder and closed his eyes, staying in the arms of the brother who helped him through all the tough times Loki had seen. He held him through tears and fright, through sorrow and loneliness. He was there for him, these very arms ready to hold and comfort whenever needed.

These very arms that were probably bearing the weight of the world upon them.

“What are you doing here?” Loki asked, his voice soft “If Father sees you…”

“I had to” Helblindi cut in, letting go of Loki and taking a step back.

Loki straightened himself and blinked when Helblindi reached over to fix his diadem so it rested properly upon his brow.

“I know what you are thinking”

Loki blinked at him in surprise, a frown over his face “About what?”

“About sabotage, you trickster” Helblindi said, trying to sound cross “You wish to make this a disaster for Father, do you not? You do not wish to take this burden”

Loki blinked and raised a brow “You risked yourself to come over and explain the obvious to me?”

Helbindi made an irritated noise and looked at Loki “No! I came here to tell you to stop. Whatever it is you are planning, I want you to stop”

It took a second, for Loki to understand that he was telling him to go ahead and _get married_. To calm down and take this bitter pill without complaint.

And oh, how Loki wanted to punch him square in the face for it.

“Let me tell you why” Helblindi said, flicking him between the eyes and making him flinch “Wipe that scowl off your face”

Loki only glared harder, fixing his diadem.

“You must be out of your mind” Loki hissed “You want me to wed that – that _boy_ Do you hear yourself?”

Helblindi sighed and looked at him, knowing this would be hard for Loki to digest.

“I do”

“Then you must have lost your mind” Loki concluded, looking upon his brother’s scowl “Have you ….”

“No, I have not” Helblindi cut in “Just like I do not have time”

His sharp tone, his demeanors made Loki rethink what he was about to say – mock – to Helblindi.

Helblindi looked agitated, he looked _afraid_.

Loki had seen almost every side of his brother, but this was new, this was something he had not seen before

This was fear

It made him furrow his brow and look at Helblindi

“Hel” he said softly “What is it?”

Helblindi looked to his right and left before he bent down to pick his helm up. He dusted it off and straightened, looking Loki in the eye.

“Not here” he said, his voice somber “but I need to talk to you. It’s urgent”

Loki felt dread coil within his gut and nodded, gesturing to the helmet in his hands.

“Put that on” he said “And walk with me”

Loki didn’t know what to expect, but he followed, noting his brother’s tired back and his defeated demeanor.

***

It was cold and lonely in the room, dark, too.

Loki had no idea why he was brought here, what Helblindi wanted him to see. If he was paranoid, he would have assumed that Helblindi was coming here to kill him, because the chambers they walked into through the servant’s door, looked like the perfect place to commit a crime.

They were dark, sinister and cold…everything Jotnhiem was famed to be.

But since he knew Helblindi was not the murdering type when it came to him, Loki was confused. His green eyes looked around in the darkness, adjusting as he tried to focus on something.

“What are we doing here, Hel?” Loki whispered.

Helblindi shushed him softly, going completely still in the dark beside him. His body was tense, there was an aura of sadness around him that Loki could sense even in the dark.

And for a second Loki feared something horrible had happened.

“Hel?” he breathed “Is it Heron?”

“No” Helblindi whispered “This is not about my life. This is about yours”

Loki blinked in the dark and stared at him, confused.

“What are you …”

He broke off when Helblindi grabbed his arm and pulled him behind a set of drapes, both of them hiding behind them, the moonlight at their back.

Because the drapes were so thick, Loki saw nothing, but he heard someone move about. Helblindi was still beside him and Loki realized that what he wanted to show him was taking place now.

The door opened somewhere, possibly to the bathing room.

There was a sniffle and a tired sigh before it closed again. There was movement, then the sound of someone’s boots hitting the floor. Loki frowned and listened, concentrating when he heard the sound of the bed creak as someone got on it.

The small bedside lamp turned on a few minutes later and both brothers stilled, waiting to be discovered. There was a small slit in the drapes that they could look through or be seen through, but when nothing happened for a solid minute, Loki dared to move enough and look outside from the parting.

Helblindi felt him tense when he saw what was before him.

On the four poster bed, lying with his back to them, his blonde hair lit by the light in the room, lay Thor.

Loki remembered when he had last seen Thor.

And the boy looked nothing like this. He was strong, he was smiling and he was bright.

Now, the brightest thing in the room was the light.

Even from where he stood, Loki could see how dangerously thin Thor had gotten. His arms looked fragile, his tunic pressed against his back and showed the bumps on his spine, the shadow of his shoulders. His hands, as they held his thin arms, were weak, almost skeletal.

Loki couldn’t understand and he feared what Thor’s face would look like. The poor child!

Soft sniffles erupted from the sad, weak form on the bed and Loki realized that there were tears, thin and small, forming in his eyes.

“Who – Who is that?” Loki asked, his voice soft because he didn’t want his suspicions to prove true.

Helblindi looked at him sadly “That, Loki, is Thor. The boy you so despise”

He swallowed thickly and stilled as Thor shifted, lifting his head at something he heard.

“Who – Who’s there?”

Loki froze and Helblindi grit his teeth.

Neither of them spoke, watching Thor.

“B-Balder?” Thor sat up his voice full of hope, brushing his hair back “Are you here?”

No, Balder wasn’t and when Loki saw Thor’s face he had to bite his lip and turn his head away, to Helblindi who was by his side.

Thor’s eyes were sunken in, his face almost devoid of color.

He looked young, yes, but he looked lifeless.

Helblindi gently cupped Loki’s cheek and wiped a stray tear that fell from his eye.

He said nothing, but Loki felt calmer, just by that gesture alone.

Thor sniffed again and Loki exhaled very softly before he looked back at him.

The boy was hugging his knees to his chest, his thin hands holding onto equally thin wrists. His head was turned away from them, looking at the wall as he attempted to control his emotions, his pain and grief.

He was all alone.

Loki licked his lips and he moved forward, deciding upon it before he even knew his own thought process.

Helblindi, for his part, didn’t stop him.

Gently, so he didn’t scare him, Loki stepped out from behind the drapes, his green eyes fixed on Thor – his betrothed.

The anger that had lasted him a month, was gone from his eyes, replace by something else.

Laufey had said that Loki’s heart was kind, possibly one of the kindest in their family, and right now, it bled for the little boy sitting on the bed, looking as scared as he felt.

Thor didn’t hear him, so out of basic courtesy, Loki scuffed the ground with his foot, making a gentle sound. It worked, because Thor turned his head automatically and looked at him.

He froze, just for a second, before his gaze went to Loki’s face.

Recognition sparked in his eyes and his back straightened, his posture becoming a little defensive as he looked at the man who had caught him at his weakest.

“P-Prince Loki” he stuttered

He didn’t care why he was here, nor did he ask and that alarmed Loki a little.

How many times had Thor been snuck up on to think it was normal?

He saw Thor move to stand and raised a hand

“Nay, young prince” he said, his voice soft “Please be seated. And call me Loki, there are no titles between us”

Thor, who was hovering between sitting and standing, nodded before he sat on the edge of the bed obediently, his feet on the floor, his eyes on Loki.

“Did I startle you?” Loki asked, crossing the room to lean against the post.

Thor shook his head “No, Majesty”

Loki smiled softly and laughed once, sadly “I told you, there are no titles between us. May I sit with you?”

Thor looked at him and nodded before he turned his gaze to his feet, watching as he wiggled his toes.

Loki heard Helblindi move to the exit, but Thor didn’t, so the Jotun Prince came to sit next to Thor, his kind eyes looking at his face.

“Thor” Loki said softly “Look at me, darling”

Thor hesitated, not used to being treated with such care and concern. But when he found Loki waiting patiently, he slowly turned his head to look at him, his blonde hair falling on his face.

Loki was smiling, but there was sadness in his eyes, Thor was somewhat surprised to see it.

“Yes, L – Loki?” Thor whispered

Loki reached over and brushed his hair back, looking at his lovely eyes.

“You are upset about this, aye? You think this is the end it the world?” Loki spoke, his voice showing he understood

Thor looked at him and swallowed “You – Why are you here?”

Loki smiled at him again, sad but reassuring “I came to talk to you. Forgive me if I startled you, I have a terrible sense of stealth”

He wanted to make Thor laugh, but all the boy did was look more haunted.

He sighed softly “Thor, my dear, you cannot be as upset as you are, not now. Not when I am going to be there for you my as long as you will have me”

“It is a forced marriage” Thor said softly “It sounds evil, no matter how you say it”

Loki gently tipped his head back to him when Thor looked away.

“But that does not mean it is” Loki smiled “Dear, this is an unfair burden for someone so young, but know that I will do everything in my power to make sure you are treated well. There are many things that we will have to face, possible challenges that may leave us frightened… possibly me more than you”

His heart soared when he saw a gentle curve of Thor’s lips as he gave him a smile.

“But that won’t bring us down” Loki held Thor’s shoulder “If you accept my hand as I am willing to accept yours, I will show you a world where I am a friend, a confidant and someone who will devote his life to making yours better”

Being understandably dubious, Thor looked aside and sighed as the tiny smile faded into despair yet again.

“Father says I have to” he said softly “You don’t need to be kind to me, I know this is my duty to Asgard. We need this union and so do you. It is a sacrifice I have to make”

Loki frowned “Thor, I am not doing this as a duty to Jotunhiem”

“Yes, you are” Thor disagreed softly

Loki blinked in surprise when he lowered Loki’s hand and stood.

“We are both doing what our fathers told us to do” Thor said, looking at Loki in the eye “There … there is no need for you to pretend to like me, my lord, I am yours to do with as you please. I do not have a choice”

Loki’s mouth hung open “No, Thor, that is not …”

“It is” Thor’s eyes were sad, bitterness gentle in his voice “I mean, look at me”

He gestured to himself

“What would you even want to be kind to?” he asked “I am a burden, I am – I am ugly, I do not have any real use. This is the only thing I can do for my father and I will. Even if you welcome me with abuse and disdain, I can do nothing. If this is my future, so be it”

Loki was shocked, beyond pained as he heard those words.

This was not the boy who had come over and comforted him when he needed it.

This was Odin’s pawn.

And it killed Loki that Thor had been lowered to think this way.

“Thor, please” he said, getting to his feet “I will never ever hurt or do anything to you that will make you feel pain. You have to trust me”

“I do”

The pain was real, his words a lie.

“I trust you, my lord” Thor said, bowing his head to him.

Loki was stunned into silence, he didn’t know how to react, how to get past this façade Thor had put over himself, but for what?

Why was he so …

So defeated?

“You will have all of me to serve you in any way you see fit” Thor said, making chills go through Loki “If you are concerned about my wellbeing that is generosity on your part, I will cherish it”

Loki could only stare, his throat had constricted, his voice was lost.

“But I know that I am being bartered to you for peace” Thor said “it was made clear early on in my life, what I am good for, my lord. And even if I am forced to, I will do this because that is what my mother would have wanted”

“Your mother?” Loki asked, his brow in a furrow “Thor, the late Queen would have wanted you to be happy! She would never have…”

“Don’t!”

Loki snapped his mouth shut when Thor glared at him

He had raised a hand, a finger in Loki’s direction

“Do not presume to think or speak on my mother” Thor said “no one knows what she would have wanted other than me. No one knows how she would have suffered, seeing me here”

Not pointing out that this was exactly what Loki was going to say, the Jotun prince kept silent.

“I have been through hell and back, my mother’s name used to coerce me into things I would not have wanted to do. I would never had done them if the very phrase you were about to say had not been uttered. My life is not my own because of older men who have more power than me. I know better than to fight it, it does nothing. I will let the fates do as they please but I will not let anyone say her name and make me look like I am wrong is disliking the lack of control in my life”

Loki looked at him, watched him with his big green eyes.

He said nothing, he waited for Thor to speak again, if that was what he so wished.

There was spirit in the boy, even though Odin had ruined him. if only Loki could tap into it, he could give him a new life.

“Forgive me” he said, placating Thor as best he could “I did not mean to offend. I will not speak of her if you do not wish me to. I’m sorry”

Thor frowned and looked at him, confused

Loki had listened to him. He had just – listened.

To be honest, Thor didn’t know how to react so he stayed silent for a while before he looked at the window.

It was getting dark and no doubt his father would come to visit him, ask him why he wasn’t with him when Odin himself had told him to mind his own business.

“You should not be here” Thor said softly, keeping his head averted “it is not right for the betrothed couple to meet each other. Please leave”

Had it been anyone else, who said that, Loki would have been offended. But seeing what he had, noticing the lost look in Thor’s eyes, he knew that he could be cruel to anyone else, but not Thor.

Not him

So he bowed his head

“As you wish, Majesty” Loki said softly, no anger in his demeanor.

Thor looked at the floor as Loki smiled and headed out, obeying him yet again. He watched as his regal robes swished with each graceful step he took, heading out of the room.

Thor didn’t expect him to look back or to wish him goodnight and Loki didn’t. he simply shut the door and made his exit, leaving Thor to his own thoughts and sadness.

***

Laufey was in his chambers, the hour was late and he was brooding.

In his hands, as he stood by a small desk embedded in the wall, was a letter. It was addressed to him, given to him by the shaking hands of his lover, his mate, his Farbauti. It was given to him at the height of Farbauti’s illness, when the healers could no longer look into their King’s eyes, when the pain in Farbauti’s body was increasing with every blink, when Laufey felt his heart slowly breaking into a thousand irreparable pieces.

It had been a love note, one last thing given to him by Farbauti as he lay in his death bed, dying from an ancient disease they had long since thought eradicated.

It was written with his shaking hand so it took Laufey more than one read for it to make sense where the beautiful words were too shaken.

He had taken it out tonight in honor of his beloved, because tonight was the night they had first seen each other.

He remembered it even now, years later.

They were not supposed to meet before their wedding, but Laufey was insistent. He wanted to see the miserable little boy that would take from him his freedom to choose whom he wanted to wed. he wanted to scare him, possibly even make it hard for him to accept Laufey as his wedded.

He wanted some sort of revenge, which was something he could not take from his father.

So, the night Farbauti arrived, Laufey snuck out of his rooms at night, headed to where he was being kept. He had learned how to pick locks early on in life, which was something that shamed his father immensely, so getting in was no problem.

All he had to do was keep an eye out for guards as he crouched before the door of Farbauti’s room, taking out his tools to unlock his door.

They were two simple pins, really and Laufey inserted them into the lock, ready to open it.

But he yelped a moment later, when the door was opened and he, who had a knee braced against the door to give him balance, yelped as he fell forward, smacking his chin in the iced marble floor, landing at the feet of his soon to be beloved.

Farbauti looked a lot like Loki did now.

Mischievous green eyes, thick curly black hair and pale skin that rivaled the sow Jotunhiem rested upon. And lips that were supple, soft and begging to be touched.

At the moment, those lips were smiling as he looked down at Laufey

“I knew it was you!”

He quickly hopped over Laufey and walked out, his night robes floating around him as he walked down the hallway. He looked lovely in the maroon robes, but so inappropriate for a midnight, nay past midnight walk!

Oh dear Jotunhiem, his father was going to kill him!

Laufey jumped to his feet from his inelegant face plant and ran after his fiancé

“Wait!” he called “You can’t be out here!”

Farbauti, who was looking about, staring at everything like a cat, his eyes moving here and there, his soft mouth parted in wonder as he stared at the world around him.

Laufey was fast, but with the quick steps Farbauti took, he was left behind.

“Would you stop?”

Laufey was panting and had to increase his speed to catch Farbauti’s arm, stopping him.

Farbauti looked at him and smiled

“This palace is so beautiful” he gasped “Have you lived here your whole life and not seen the beauty?”

Laufey blinked, unable to comprehend what this – Farbauti – was saying

“Yes, I grew up here, now get back in before someone sees you”

He tugged at his arm but Farbauti pulled out from his grip

“Not yet” he smiled “I have to see more”

Laufey went after him again, the moment he took off again, grabbing his arm.

“There is nothing more for you to see!” LAufey said “If someone sees you, I will get in so much trouble!”

Farbauti laughed “I am aware. And I will come silently if you take me to the kitchens and feed me that delicious pudding that was placed on your side of the table.”

Laufey blinked “The pudding?”

He almost said no.

That was his pudding, _his ._ He had it made for no one but himself, ever since he was a child! And this little boy was going to try and take it from him!

But the big green eyes, the wide smile all showed him that Farbauti was accustomed to getting exactly what he wanted, whenever he wanted.

It would drive him insane, he could already tell.

“Yes, the pudding” Farbauti said “You hogged it and that I rude. So you give the one you saved over to me and I will come quietly. Refuse, and I will scream”

Laufey felt his mouth hang open

“What!?”

Farbauti took a deep inhale, ready to scream and Laufey yelped, slapping a hand over his mouth and pushing him back into a pillar

“Don’t you dare!” he snarled “I will throw you off the balcony if you do!”

Farbauti’s eyes twinkled and he smiled behind Laufey’s hand. Laufey had blinked, feeling disarmed by the beauty he saw and cleared his throat.

He stepped back, letting his hand fall off Farbauti’s beautiful lips

“Fine” he said “You can have the damn pudding. But this is the first and last time. I will not tolerate this behavior when we are wed.”

Farbauti grinned, his face lighting up, and a moment later, in a blur of movement, he had his arms around LAufey’s neck, kissing him smack on the mouth

“I swear!”

He took his hand then, leading him away and Laufey stumbled along. He was clearly love-struck, at a loss for both words and mobility and followed Farbauti like a stumbling, babbling puppet.

And what a puppet he would become over the years. Deep in love and forever with the person he had promised to love and cherish.

He had never gotten around to _not_ giving Farbauti his pudding. The little minx had it every night, twice a night when he was pregnant.

And with his green eyes and pale skin, he had made sure Laufey would never love another again.

His life, he had taken, his love was silenced and as he put the picture in his hand back upon the desk where his beloved worked, there was a knock on the door.

Raising his watery blue eyes and wiping the tears he felt upon his lids, he cleared his throat of all emotion before he spoke.

“Enter”

Thrym, Farbauti’s younger brother and event manager to Laufey’s palace, walked in.

Just like Farbauti, he had thick curly hair and a slender figure. He could, just like his deceased brother, bear children and was often wooed by those willing to slip into his bed to try and win his favor. He refused them all and though Laufey denied it, he was glad. His eyes were a lovely shade of brown, like the very earth he walked upon on the hot days in Jotunhiem when the grounds were devoid of snow and ice in patches here and there. Laufey had often thought of him as lovely, but he knew nothing could happen.

Farbauti had forever stolen his heart.

But it did not stop him from exhibiting a certain level of affection when it came to Thrym.

He always did know how to be charming.

“My lord, there is an urgent matter you must attend to” he said, walking over with a harried looking expression “The west guest rooms need to be updated. There is no running water and the men responsible for getting the charm started is no where to be found. I fear it would need a royal decree to get that fat Jotunn off his arse!”

He was flipping through pages, looking utterly miserable.

It was so endearing that it made Laufey smile, his head cocked a little to the side, as he studied the mystery before him.

Thrym was kind to him, he laughed and was open.

But whenever Laufey invited him for a walk or a dinner or something approaching intimacy, he would deny.

Then act like nothing had happened.

It infuriated Laufey as much as it intrigued him and he shook his head and put on a professional façade before the man caught his King gawking like a fool over him.

“Aye, that does seem dire”

He walked over and looked at the pages, blinking once or twice at the elegant scrawls upon the page, in various inks.

He frowned “Why are they all a different color?”

Thrym exhaled and brushed his hair behind his ear

“They vary from level of importance” he explained, distracted as he searched for the next bad news to break upon Laufey’s skull “The yellow ones are the least important, then increase to green, blue and eventually red”

“And black?” Laufey asked, his eyes on Thrym’s face “What does black signify?”

“Oh, they are just my own thoughts”

“Read them to me”

Laufey said it before he could stop himself, his voice husky, gentle and almost caressing.

He didn’t realize how close he was to Thrym until the younger man looked up and inhaled sharply, his brown, beautiful eyes fixed on Laufey’s.

“Oh …”

He swallowed nervously and took a step back

“They are just …. I mean it would waste your time, to…”

“It won’t” Laufey said gently, not moving from his space but not smothering him “Go on”

Thrym licked his lips and Laufey smirked, watching the movement before the man lowered his eyes to his page.

“Th-The east drawing room could be opened for the public, to those who are important to the society. I mean the heads of the various committees in the Kingdom.” Thrym looked at Laufey “I thought that if – if they felt included in the wedding, then others would be encouraged to get more involved in the lives of their community. It would make us help each other more…”

He voice trailed off and he looked at the pages again

“I’m sorry, it was ridiculous”

Laufey smiled “Invite them. And I want you to take care of their needs, meet them and delegate”

Thrym stared, running a hand through his hair and letting a lock of thick hair fall before his eyes “What? M-Majesty, that is outside my expertise, I would ruin it, I could…”

“You won’t”

Then in a move both daring and somewhat stupid, Laufey reached over to tug at the lock and gently push it behind Thrym’s ear.

The younger man froze, going absolutely still before him. his eyes were wide and focused on Laufey, his breathing stuttering.

He swallowed thickly as Laufey moved just a little closer, possibly lesser than an inch.

Thrym quickly turned his head away and stepped back

“Cake!” he suddenly cried out “I for – forgot the cake!”

Laufey had time only to blink before Thrym fled from him like a rabbit, running as fast as he could without seeming like he was running.

The door opened before he reached it and Loki blinked as something big and curled haired almost smacked into him

“Uncle!”

Thrym smiled, but it didn’t reach his eyes

“I was going to get the cake right, my prince” he said, bowing to Loki and running past him with the speed of a harsh Jotun blizzard

Loki blinked at his rapidly disappearing uncle, who was in truth, perhaps only a year or two older than him, then at his father

“You know if you wanted to frighten him, you could have just threatened to stab him”

Laufey felt his lips quirk a little as his son walked in.

“That would have been to blunt” he said, turning and heading to his couch “I wanted something with more finesse”

Loki followed “I am surprised you know the meaning of that word, Father”

Laufey grinned and watched as his son came to sit beside him once the King was seated.

It had been so damn long, so long, since Loki sat with him and not fought with him, or indulged in their gentle teasing.

It felt refreshing.

Yet when he looked at him he noted worry in his son’s eyes and placed a hand behind his neck

“What is it, love?”

Love

It was a name he had passed down from Farbauti to Loki.

He rarely said it, but whenever he did it felt like Loki’s wounds healed.

He licked his lips and looked at his father, the strong, wonderful man beside him

“You are making me wed Thor” he said softly “Yet I am not as miserable as I pretend to be. Why?”

Laufey was taken aback, both by the question and the fact that Loki admitted to him being right.

It was something he had not gotten used to, even when Farbauti said it.

“I do not know” Laufey said “By all means you should despise me.”

His thumb stroked Loki’s nape, an old gesture that calmed his son since he was a toddler

“I should” Loki said.

He went silent but Laufey knew it was far from over.

So he sat there, patiently, as Loki thought of and found the right words to communicate with him.

“I met Thor today” Loki said, very quietly “Father, he is not the boy I had met two years ago.”

Laufey frowned and nodded “I know. I saw that the moment he walked in.”

“He looks starved” Loki said “Both of affection and food. Did you see his arms?”

“I had to consciously control myself from running and embracing him when I saw him” Laufey said “my heart broke the moment he lowered his hood and introduced himself. I can’t understand what happened”

“His father happened” Loki told him “Ever since his mother passed, I fear Odin had released whatever hate he had against the boy and ended up with this result. His brothers arrived today but he refused to see them. I thought he was close to Balder”

“Perhaps” Laufey said, flicking Loki lovingly under his chin “Or perhaps there is more to this than we can see”

“Aye, more torture for sure” Loki muttered, looking out Laufey’s window “I had every intention of being horrible to him. But when … when I saw him, it faded. I didn’t want to hurt him, I wanted to protect him. He needs someone to take care of him and I fear … I fear if I try, I will do something terribly wrong”

Laufey furrowed his brow and looked at him

“Loki”

When his son turned to him, Laufey faced him fully

“You are many things your Dam was” he said “but the one thing that stands out most is your dedication. Once you set your mind to something you do it to the best of your abilities and you do it honestly. I mean … look at what you did three years prior. Do you remember when we had to face that drought? Do you?”

Loki nodded

“And do you remember what you did?” Laufey asked “You introduced the ration system, no one starved, no one died. That was because of you, because you decided to fix it, by saving what grain and food we had and keeping it for when we would need it. My son, that cannot happen without something special right here”

He tapped Loki’s chest with a finger.

“And I know that whatever Thor is going through at the moment, will only be fixed over time because of you”

Laufey smiled “Your Dam and I are so proud of you. Even if he is not here, I know he is proud. Not only is my son going to be King but he is going to be a hero to a boy who needs it most than anyone I know. Thor will grow to love you, dear. You just need to get him to believe it, too”

Loki scoffed “He hates me. You should have seen him, Father. He has no self worth and he already deems me a black hearted monster, he all but said so.”

Or implied it, but Loki heard the accusation.

“How do I get through to him when he will most likely despise me for the rest of my life?”

Laufey smiled at him and stroked his head “Take your time and give him his. That is all”

Loki gave him a look that was both grateful and a little bit exasperated

“Is that what you are doing with Uncle?” Loki teased “Just tell him how you feel”

Laufey felt a blush color his cheeks

“I have no idea what you mean”

He stood and walked off, heading to his decanter

Immediately, Loki followed

“Oh, please!” Loki said “I could almost smell the lust in the room, Father. Just invite him over to dinner.”

Then he gasped “Oh! I will do it”

Laufey spun around and glared “You will do no such thing!”

“I will!” Loki grinned, his eyes shining with mischief “and I will excuse myself so you could get on with a night of roses, love and romance!”

Laufey gave him a dry glare “Stop reading those damn novels, Loki”

“Sorry, forgive me, it is too late!”

Loki laughed and heading to the door

“Dances and flowers and beautiful music…!”

“I will disown you!” Laufey threatened as Loki headed to the door “Loki!”

“And kisses under the moonlit stars!” Loki tossed back, going to the halls

“I swear I will kick you in the arse so hard you will taste my foot on your tongue!”

All he heard was Loki’s cackling as a response as he went to close the door.

But even as he pretended to be angry, Laufey knew he wasn’t.

Because as Loki said it, he felt a thrill go through him and realized he had gotten his son back.

And just in time for the wedding!


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They get married

The guests started arriving, as per tradition, twelve hours before the ceremony.

And before that, before he actually saw them walk to the palace, one by one in carriages both grand and large, the young prince set to be wed, thought that everything was a horrid nightmare, that his body was safely tucked away in his bed on Asgard and that his mind was coming up with this.

He was going to wake up safe and sound in his bed, his mother bringing him sweet biscuits before breakfast so he always knew he was a spoiled, loved prince. He knew it and if he made himself wake up, he would go there, he would go back and realize nothing happened.

It was all a terrible dream

Nothing else.

Thor closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Wake up” he whispered to himself “Wake up, Thor”

He was wearing the robes that he was going to wear tonight, at the wedding, and he stood there, looking serene, looking as though he was just about to wake up.

There was a smile on his face, making him glow, making the sun shine on his gowns and all to the illumination that surrounded him.

“Just wake up” Thor said “open your eyes, love, see the world”

He repeated his mother’s words and in his tormented mind, he thought they were spoken to him by her, he thought they were real.

So he opened his eyes.

Confusion broke upon him as he found himself greeted by the ceiling of the room he was in.

Nearly transparent and letting in the dim morning light of the Jotun skies.

His mouth parted in disbelief, as he looked upon the large, frozen snowflakes that made up the design of the ceiling. They matched those on the walls, the beautiful, transparent walls that were all around him.

They were stunning to look at, but as disappointment and shock settled upon Thor, he realized they were closing in on him.

He gasped and backed away, as though they burned, his eyes on the window, where the Jotun landscape stood, to the bed where the Jotun furs lay, to the desk where the _Jotun_ papers lay.

Everything was _Jotun_! Everything was the enemy

A raw, desperate sound escaped him as Thor doubled over, searing pain in his stomach flaring up in his panic.

This was happening!

He was going to stay here!

All the delusions he had wrapped himself up in, all the thoughts that kept his sanity from breaking fled in the face of the truth.

It had been a thought, a mere figment of his imagination.

It hadn’t been a reality, so Thor had gone with it, he had been aloof.

Now, the time had come where being aloof did nothing, where there was no choice other than facing what was before him and running head on into it.

It would crush him, it was doing it now.

Thor gave a low whine and bowed his head. His hair fell over his face, his long, thin body trying to be as small as possible.

He was tall, so tall that even trying to shrink failed him.

His eyes glittered with tears he refused to let fall and he looked at the window again, praying, hoping that somehow, seeing his torment would somehow make the norns change his fate, that somehow, he would be back, two years in the past where his mother was alive and his world was not crumbling.

It didn’t work and he crumbled, he broke down right there.

Thor was about to fall to the floor when two, slim and strong arms came up behind him, wrapping around his waist.

A loud gasp escaped him and Thor tensed, but a gentle voice shushed him.

“Breathe…”

It was a lull, a caress against his wounded soul. It soothed, it calmed and like water resting upon and dousing flames, Thor felt it calm the turmoil that waged inside him.

“Be easy, darling, be easy”

The deep, beautiful voice spoke right next to his ear, pink lips moving gently to command him to be calm.

A cool hand, taken from his waist, came to wipe his tears, to brush his hair back. Gentle fingers touched his skin and Thor closed his eyes, let his mind listen. The hand, slender and cool, rested on his forehead and he felt his raging headache recede.

“You will be alright”

The hand rested upon his shoulder and guided him to the closest chair, seating him upon it, making him relax.

Thor raised his blue eyes and looked into green ones, looked at the lips that were curved into a smile, at the black hair that framed a stunning face.

His heart was rumbling in his ears, blood rushing through him, so he could barely hear. The voice sounded distant, only the echoes reaching Thor.

“Be well, my dearest” he said “You will be safe here”

Thor blinked, even that seemed slow to his mind, the cooling world around him, defeating the pain that was surrounding him.

When he opened his eyes, the voice was gone, he was gone and Thor sat up.

The room was empty, it seemed hollow and he panted softly, unable to understand how and why he was visited by ….

By Loki?

Thor was sure it was him, but he knew that Loki probably disliked him.

Why would he even come down here and lower himself to see someone like Thor? And not even see but comfort him? Seat him in a chair and calm him down?

Thor shook his head and realized he had probably deluded himself so much that his mind had started playing tricks.

But one thing Thor noticed – he was much calmer than he had been a moment ago and he had no idea why.

He felt that even if he wanted to, he would be unable to work himself up into the state he was in a moment ago.

But why?

The doors banged open, saving him from further contemplation and Thor looked up, trying to hide the fact that he had been badly startled.

Odin walked in, tailed by both his brothers.

Thor knew that Tyr and Balder had both tried to meet him, tried to enter his room, but he had refused.

They should have stopped the wedding.

They hadn’t and Thor had no interest in what they had to say.

It was simply too late.

He stood as his father walked in.

To him, Odin was a military leader now, and he stood with his hands behind his back. Thor was taller than both Odin and Balder, but he had gotten so damn thin that it didn’t look that way. It was only when they stood close and side by side that it could be seen, and Thor never allowed it.

He found that the only good thing about this wedding was that he was going to be away from Odin.

Nothing else.

The King of Asgard came to assess him, looking at him from his boots to his clean shaved face.

And, as expected, he scoffed “You look like a woman. Take that stupid clip out of your hair”

Thor frowned and raised a hand to what held his braids back. His fingers touched the clip his mother had given him, the last thing she had ever given him.

His heart went cold and he looked at his father in betrayal.

He didn’t want to take it out.

“Why?”

It was never a good idea to talk back to Odin or to question what he had asked you to do.

This was one of those moments.

The moment Thor said it, Odin turned and looked at him, his face a mask of angered disbelief, etched on his face. Odin had always been one for power, for influence and respect. When Frigga came into his life, joy and elation was added to it and it softened his hard core.

But with her death, he lost what made him a beloved father so he stood there now, a ruthless king that had no remorse or patience with his own sons.

“Why?” he echoed, his single gaze narrowing “Because you look like a damned quim, that is why!”

Thor gasped and felt color rising in his cheeks in at the obscene, horrible language. He yanked the clip out and pocketed it, the same time both his brothers gaped.

“Father!” Balder said, shocked

“What?” Odin said “I know he is a bride, but he doesn’t need to turn into one”

Thor was tightlipped in shame and he looked away, going to his bureau to fix his braids up with something else.

Balder looked at Tyr, who nodded

“Father, say what you wish to, them come with me” he said “You know the ceremonies will start”

Odin looked at him, frowned for a second before he realized what Tyr meant.

“Those ridiculous ceremonies” he said “what need have we to complete them?”

Tyr shrugged “You opted for a Jotun wedding, you must honor their traditions, I fear”

The old King scoffed and Tyr barely looked at Balder as the man went to help Thor fix his hair and make it more manageable. He had a comb in his hands and was brushing Thor’s hair back as both of them talked silently. Tyr noticed that Balder stood between Thor and Odin so that their brother didn’t have to see their father – or at the tyrant that had once been their father.

Hatred and grief had twisted Odin into this.

Thor was not the only one suffering under the chance, Odin was cruel to all three of his sons. And though Tyr was not as expressive and close to either Balder or Thor, he too was hurt and often left unattended after Odin lashed out at him.

And since Thor was already in agony, Tyr decided to steer his father away.

“What did you wish to tell Thor?” Tyr asked “Hurry it up so we may depart.”

“Ah, yes”

Odin, nasty as ever, turned to face Thor. Thankfully, Thor couldn’t see him, Balder made sure of that.

“There are a few customs that the Jotuns want you to go through before you are declared fit to wed Loki” Odin said “I do not know what they are, but know that they are important. You are to succeed in each one, is that clear?”

Balder’s lips tightened but he focused on the braid he was making for Thor.

It was an intricate plait, made for glorious warriors of Asgard, those who sacrificed their arms, their limbs and heads for a chance at glory. Thor was no less than them and as he made the Warrior’s Plait, he heard Thor’s meek and defeated reply

“Yes, Father”

“Tyr will secretly keep an eye out and help you as much as he can” Odin said “so there is no reason to fail. If you do…”

Tyr placed a hand on Odin’s shoulder, making him break off.

“Come along, I think he gets it” he said, his voice both gentle and firm.

Odin responded to it before he even knew what he did, and gave Thor a parting look, filled with warning, before he let Tyr take him out.

There had been no point to this visit, nothing other than to humiliate Thor.

Both Tyr and Balder knew this, yet they accompanied him for the sole purpose off meeting Thor. The young man had been refusing to see them and this seemed like the only way to get in.

And, as Tyr closed the door behind him, watching Balder and Thor talk softly, he wished it was worth the pain they just caused Thor.

The ice door shut with a heavy thud, resonating in the room.

It faded off, Balder could hear it in the silence he and Thor were in. it felt, to him, as though an important part of him faded along with that sound.

He looked down at the young man whose hair he was currently trying to finish up.

“You look very dashing today” Balder tried “I think you can put Fandral to shame”

Thor said nothing, no ‘thank you’, no denial. He just sat there, blankly looking at the mirror, miles away.

Balder looked at him and saw he wasn’t blinking. In the time it had taken for Balder to stop talking and start talking again, Thor had receded into his pain filled world once more.

His walls were raised.

Sighing, he continued his work

“You might hate me now” Balder said “Because I tried to meet you a couple of times and you didn’t let me or Tyr in, but I know that later on, when we can’t annoy you anymore, you will miss me”

Again, silence greeted him.

It was unpleasant, the broken sensation he went through at that moment. Thor used to be his friend and now he was so alienated, in the past year that Balder didn’t know what to do.

He sighed, a loud exhale that was filled with both frustration and hopelessness

“Thor…”

“Just finish up and go” Thor droned, looking at the many brushes and pins set upon his dressing table “I wish to be alone”

Balder looked at him, tried to look at his eyes in the mirror but they were so downcast that Balder could get not a glimpse of them.

“Thor, I …”

“Please” Thor’s voice was soft, “It’s too late”

Balder felt like he would stumble back and fall, fall forever, that he would keep falling and when he landed, it would be in grief. Such was the pain Thor’s words caused him.

“It’s too late to stop it” Thor whispered, his eyes going wide, his voice rising

It was too late! Far too late!

Suddenly, he shot to his feet and lashed out with his hand, throwing everything on the top of the dressing table to the floor

“Too late!” he yelled “It’s too damn late!”

His face was tormented, his eyes were filled with tears and his body was tense, freezing entirely when Balder approached him and yanked him into his arms.

“Breathe …” Balder said “Little brother, breathe…”

Thor’s arms were by his sides, his hands clenched, his body was tense and Balder rubbed his back.

“Inhale” Balder whispered “And exhale, keep doing it”

One arm was around Thor’s shoulders, the other hand moved up and down his back, as though calming a startled animal.

To try and soothe it.

Calm it.

Balder slowly, as though Thor was hesitant, felt the hate and anger slowly slip from his body.

What had fueled him not a moment ago, vanished, and poured from him like water from a leaking pail. It was gone and he slowly went limp in his brother’s arm, letting him cradle his head.

“I don’t want to get married” Thor whispered “I never wanted this life, I wanted solitude, I don’t want to get married, please…”

Balder felt his eyes prickle because of the intensity of the emotions going through him. He closed them and tried to blink them away but they came back with a ferocity that was stronger than before.

Thor’s hand clenched in his coat and he rested his head on Balder’s shoulder

“Please don’t let me get married” he begged “Please, I can’t do it, I can’t be his whore…”

Balder’s eyes widened “W-What?”

He pulled away and cupped Thor’s cheeks, shocked at his heartbroken expression

“Who told you that?” he asked, his own tears slipping down his cheeks “Who?”

Thor gave a low, keening noise before he held Balder’s wrists gently

“F-Father said….”

Balder had to close his eyes in pain, he could not look at Thor.

“That I w-will be like his whore” Thor said “That I h-have to lie back and let him take me…”

He looked beseechingly into Balder’s eyes “Don’t let him, please, I don’t want it, please”

Is body shook as he gave a heavy sob and Balder shook his head

“Thor, that won’t happen” he tried to calm him “Loki is good, he will not hurt you..”

“I don’t want to have sex with him” Thor begged “Please, I know he will make me do it, please help me escape…”

Balder brushed his tears away then gently pushed his hair back, then wiped his own tears.

“You listen to me” Balder said, his voice thick “Loki will never hurt you. He will not make you do anything you don’t want, he …”

“No, no, please don’t say that” Thor begged, he _begged_ “I don’t want to get married, I can’t get married, brother, please, please don’t do this to me…”

Balder’s eyes were wide and he watched Thor fall to his knees and double over, wailing into his hands

“Please!” Thor begged “I can’t marry him and live here, I can’t! I will do anything you want, I will give you anything you ask for, please don’t…don’t…”

Balder turned away, he couldn’t see this.

Like a coward, he turned and fled, going to the door, out of the room, his expression shamed, angry and broken. He reached the door and pulled it open, all but rushing out when Thor called him

“ _Balder_!”

Thor’s begging whine cut off abruptly as Balder closed the door and made the biggest mistake of his life. He leaned against the door for a second, before he leapt off as though burnt.

Looking at it, thick tears formed and fell from his eyes. He raised his hands, running them through his hair before clasping them behind his head, his teeth grit in pain.

A sob escaped him before he turned away, unable to get Thor’s pleas out of his mind.

He gasped softly, his hands falling to his sides, then curling to his chest protectively.

Tyr stood there, watching him with a bewildered expression.

Then the Asgardian future king shook his head and approached Balder.

His younger brother fell into his arms and let him comfort him.

Balder’s cries were soft and his pain was loud. Tyr held him, both his arms around him as he wept.

He looked at the ceiling, the frosted, beautiful glass that could show the moon if enchanted, but saw not its beauty.

He saw the pain in Jotunhiem, the agony and the promise of how it would always hover around, over the young man breaking his heart inside the room behind them.

***

Jotun customs, unlike the Asgardian marriage traditions, were more delicate in nature.

In their land, rather than a husband and wife, the role of husband and husband were adopted by the newlyweds. There was no female gender for the role, but traditionally, the partner moving into the house of his lifelong spouse was considered as the ‘child bearer’. Asgardians tried to demean this role, in their minds the insult was calling it womanly, or ergi, in Jotunhiem, there was no such narrow-minded thought process.

There was no insult when it came to a Jotunar man cooking, cleaning or sewing. Both partners took up equal roles in the house, thus both had to accomplish the easy, simple yet, when introduced to the young Aesir that had to do them, he was shocked.

“Sewing?” he asked, his blue eyes focused on Laufey as the King brought him the cloth, tools and strings, whatever Thor needed “My first task is … to sew?”

Laufey smirked, just a little “Aye. For your first task, you can make whatever item you deem fit for your new husband. Anything you wish, be it small or large. The only rule is that you embroider something meaningful upon the item.”

Thor frowned, red rimmed eyes belaying his fear “What do you mean?”

“Some message or blessing that you will give to Loki before you both walk to the altar” Laufey explained, trying to keep Thor calm “It can be a sentiment, just kind words of encouragement or affection…whatever you wish to say”

He held out the wicker basket the things were in and Thor extended his hands to take it gently.

“That is all?”

Laufey smiled gently “Nay, you will also have to cook. Then both of you will exchange what you have cooked, at the feast after the meal. No one else will be allowed to touch it, unless you invite them to”

Thor cradled the basket to his chest and brushed his hair away with one free hand

“I have never heard of such traditions” he told him “Did – Did Sigyn do them, too?”

“Of course”

Laufey leaned a little closer, a smile on his face “He added far too much salt. Loki despised the dish but he finished it because he didn’t wish to make a bad impression”

Thor felt his lips twitch and held the basket closer to himself “That was nice”

“It was” Laufey said “At my wedding, Farbauti didn’t add any salt at all, just to annoy me. It turned out, later, that he was an incredible cook”

Thor gave a soft, sad huff of laughter

“I will try to make it good then” he said

Seeing his hesitation, Laufey decided to help, just a little.

“If you look underneath the pincushion,” he nodded to the basket “You might find a few easy to make recipes”

He winked “Just … learn them by heart”

Thor looked at him, surprised, then nodded “Of course, my King. I do not wish to give your son bad food”

Oh, that was not what Laufey meant at all!

He thought about saying that to him but he knew Thor was not going to take it the way Laufey wanted. He always thought himself in the wrong and it was probably not going to change.

“Loki would eat it whether it is faulty or not” Laufey said gently

He placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder

“Thor, you will be treated well here” he said “Do not think you will suffer anything at Loki’s hand”

His hair fell over his face, just a little, before he pushed it back.

His lips curved into a self-derisive sort of smile but he held his tongue. He knew Laufey was probably just saying this to make him feel better, but to be honest, he actually felt worse than before.

The moment Laufey walked in, as per Jotun customs, to give him the tests he had to pass, Thor forced himself to be cheerful and act like this marriage was the only thing he ever wanted. It was a lie, of course, but no king wants a sad bride, no one likes a moping spouse.

So, trying to be as cheerful as he could be in this scenario, Thor made himself smile, act the part of an eager to please spouse, when in reality, he was miserable.

Whatever Laufey said, Thor listened to and told himself to be thankful for. Whatever he offered, Thor willingly took.

Ever since he realized that he was going to be alone here, ever since his brother left him, Thor had decided to make life easier on himself. As fake as he was, perhaps being cheerful would automatically become easy for him as time wore on. Only his destroyed, tormented soul would know the truth.

So he looked at Laufey and smiled “Of course, my lord”

He bowed his head to him, the light catching on his beautiful hair, before he retreated

“I should get started on this” he showed Laufey his things “And think of something nice to say”

He didn’t really wait for Laufey to respond, ducking his head, he slipped away, turning to head to the desk where he no doubt wanted to work.

Laufey sighed, softly, before he too turned, leaving him to it.

When Loki had told him of Thor’s state, Laufey was upset, but whenever he met the boy, he only got more and more depressed at seeing what state poor Thor was in.

All he wanted to do was have him securely wed so he didn’t have to go back to Odin and that lot. Laufey had no respect for them, he wanted to yell and scold them for hurting Thor the way they were.

But he knew, that until this alliance was formed, there was nothing that could be done.

He just hoped that Loki was at least giving Odin a hard time.

Or a watered down version of it.

He was tempted to go and listen in on what was happening in Loki’s room but he controlled himself for only because he felt like Farbauti would smack the back of his head from his grave if he did.

So he refrained and headed off down his path, heading to the throne room or somewhere else he loved to loiter.

Unbeknownst to him, Loki had already planned on giving the All Father a piece of his mind – politely, of course.

Not that Thor would ever know, the boy was too lost in his own misery to really see past anything.

After Laufey had left, he sat down at the desk and started pulling numerous things out of the basket. He was, by no means consenting to this entire thing, but he had shut his mind off, locked himself inside his own despair and functioned on an automatic sort of way.

Seeing his last chance, his brother Balder, run out and leave him here, had shocked Thor so much that he had given up.

There was nothing inside him that pleaded for this to be over, nothing inside him that told him to fight.

He had lost.

And now the only thing he could do, was suppress his own will and take this.

The only thing he could do, was sew.

So, pulling up a chair, he sat in it, his blue eyes looking at the items before him.

His eyes were haunted, frightening to look at, but he recalled, in the back of his mind, lessons given to him by his mother.

His thin , boney hands reached over to pick up the cloth and scissors as he tried to think of what to make.

Truly, his mind was shocked, but he worked around it, gently cutting up two equal squares. He measured them, ensuring that they were both equal.

He looked into the basket, digging around a little, before he found the frame that would hold the cloth as he embroidered. Without a word, without a real thought, he pulled it out and pulled out some thread to start his work.

He didn’t know what he was going to work on, he just kept working, his mind trying to cope with his defeat ad the magnitude of horror he would face for the rest of his life.

Thor, by all means, looked relaxed and perhaps because of the state of his shock, he was, but his mind was in shambles. The only thing left inside him was the ability to obey.

So he obeyed Laufey and continued to work until his back hurt and his hands felt numb.

The finished product, once he had sewn it all up, was placed before him and he exhaled, looking out of the window once more.

He wondered what Loki was making.

Perhaps a noose, to hang Thor with, if Thor was lucky enough. Perhaps, nothing. Thor was the _wife_ after all, there was nothing he _deserved_. He should be thankful for everything that was given to him.

He should have no will.

No say in anything

No option

He was nothing but a whore for Loki, to use and discard at his own amusement.

He was nothing but a lost orphan.

He was nothing

***

The next hour, Thor spent both dozing off and wallowing in despair. He had his arms crossed and his head resting upon them as he tried not to react to the pain he was feeling.

His eyes were still watery, remnant of tears shed against his will, and his eyes looked sunken in.

After he had finished what he was expected to make, Thor had memorized all three recipes given to him. In theory, he could make them all.

There was a knock upon the door and it made Thor lift his head. The door opened and a servant stood there, bowing to Thor

“Lord Thor” he said “You are summoned to the kitchens to start your second trail. Upon completion, you will be taken to the Great Hall to complete the ceremony”

Wedding ceremony.

The one that was crippling Thor.

The prince thought about begging this man, too, but before he could blink, the servant was gone and two thickset guards took his place.

They were kind enough in the eyes, but Thor saw them as jailers, taking him to the life he could never escape from.

He had no choice, even as a prince, he was more a slave so he stood on shaking legs and brushed his hair back, keeping his gaze on the floor.

It was clear how absolutely hopeless Thor was, but the guards said nothing. They didn’t touch him and escorted him to the kitchens once he walked out of the room. The smell of food started long before they reached the kitchens, mostly because there were fires and cooking going on outside in the gardens. This was a huge wedding and the guests were in the thousands.

Thousands of people would witness Thor being tied up for life.

And none of them would raise a hand to save him.

His feet felt like lead yet he moved them. His soul was in agony yet he ignored it. Thor had his head bowed in submission as he walked ahead, as he walked with the guards to end his life.

The kitchens had cleared a space for Thor.

The moment he walked in, he was greeted by smiling faces.

“Lord Thor!” a cook beamed “Rarely has someone as great as you taken a step within our kitchens.”

Thor looked at him and frowned, the greeting too exuberant.

And on the other side of the kitchen, in his own little nook, making a delicious stew for Thor, Loki slapped a hand on his face.

Of course, that had to be Aldrin.

The damned ponce had no idea of subtlety!

Loki had arrived here ten minutes before Thor, with strict instructions not to make his presence known to Thor. It was custom, Laufey had said.

But upon his arrival, he had ordered the entire staff to be nice and friendly towards Thor.

He wanted him to be comfortable and now, because of Aldrin, he was likely uncomfortable.

Thor, in fact, was rather alright, at the moment. The numbness his mind was in was helping him respond to everyone.

He just feared it wouldn’t be that way for long.

He was going to break sooner or later.

“Thank you” he said softly, just like he was supposed to.

Aldrin smiled and came over to lead him to a clean station

“Just give me a signal if you need help” Aldrin said

Someone cleared their throat rather loudly from a hidden nook and Aldrin all but jumped away from Thor, his brown eyes wide

“Secret signal” he whispered, before hurrying off

He pretended Thor wasn’t there, even as he snuck glances at him.

Thor gave the entire room his back and faced the numerous bowls and things set before them. Recalling one of the easier recipes, Thor opted for making the simple, sweet cake that he had wondered about.

But the moment he decided it, the measurements, recipes and whatever had been written upon the paper vanished from his mind.

Thor started to panic

His chest moved up and down rapidly as he breathed and he panted, his eyes wide as he looked upon everything before him.

He didn’t know what to do!

What was he supposed to make!?

How was he supposed to do this!?

Thor swallowed thickly and took a step back, shaking his head and trying to keep his panic at bay.

“Here”                          

Gasping and spinning around so the cape of his pristine, white garment soared in the air, Thor blinked when he came face to face with Tyr.

Why the Crowned Prince was here, Thor would never know, but in his hands were three pieces of paper, with recipes scribbled on them.

The elder Odinson’s eyes were sad, yet he was smiling and Thor looked at the papers held in his hand, then at his face

“W-Why…”

“Because you need it” Tyr said “Here”

He took Thor’s hand and placed them inside.

“Just …” he said “Don’t look so afraid”

Thor looked into his eyes, staring at him, thinking that perhaps this man, his life time tormentor was going to hurt him again – make him weak.

But Tyr took his own cape off, then looked around

“Can we have two aprons?” he asked, red hair being pushed back as it came into his eyes.

There was a bustle of movement as the Jotun staff went to obey and soon both of them had on aprons and caps to keep their hair back.

“Alright” Tyr said, ignoring the looks Thor kept giving him “What do you wish to make? The Cake, the roast or the stew?”

Licking his lips because he could hardly believe this was happening, Thor pointed to the cake

“That”

Tyr made a face “Fine…”

He set the recipe where they could see it and pointed to a bowl “Give me that and get me two eggs”

Thor nodded and rushed to obey, not wanting this help to fade away. Loki was watching and he ducked out of sight when Thor came to his corner, looking for eggs. He needn’t have bothered, Thor barely saw anything in his desperation.

He took two eggs and rushed back in the large kitchen, to go to his brother.

The Jotun Royal Kitchens were large, spacious.

They had ten stations, all parallel to each other, separated by frosted ice walls. It kept them all together and alone.

So when Thor went back to his counter, Loki risked a small glance, to him and Tyr.

Both brothers looked absolutely ridiculous. But for the first time since Loki saw him, Thor looked calm.

He lost the frenzied, crazed look about him and Loki was glad.

Tyr broke the eggs, then looked at the bowl filled with the thick batter he had made.

“Fold in gently” he read “Fold?”

He looked at Thor then placed the eggs in the batter

“No!”

Thor yelled out when he realized Tyr intended to literally _fold the eggs into the batter_ , shells and all.

“Break them first” he said, his hands pulling them from Tyr’s “Just … you assist me, don’t … do anything”

Tyr raised a brow.

This tone, this conversation was something he had lost with Thor years ago.

And having it back over eggs and baking was something he could never think of. He was no fool, thinking that Thor would bounce back to the self he was before Tyr destroyed him, but he cherished it enough to stay silent.

“Of course”

So, Tyr started to assist him.

Together, they started to measure and count what was before them, Tyr even making Thor smile with his antics when he slipped on some milk and grabbed the apron of the closest Jotun, sending them both toppling to the ground.

Thor tried to keep his smile muffled, but for the next half hour, he kept smiling for no reason at all.

Tyr thought it was good and was thinking about another way to help him laugh, perhaps, when a commotion sounded.

“King Odin!” a cook yelled “Prince Tyr, you must hide!”

Thor’s eyes turned panicked and Tyr realized something horrible in that moment.

Thor was afraid of their father.

He looked at Tyr and grabbed him, turning him towards the pantry.

“Please go!” he begged “Please!”

Tyr was manhandled by Thor and another Jotun, taken to the pantry and stayed hidden. And it turned out to happen in the nick of time since not two moments later, Odin walked in.

He greeted no one, saw no one other than his son and Loki had to consciously make himself stay still as he walked to him.

If Odin laid a hand on Thor…

And yet, that was exactly what Odin intended to do.

“What have you been telling Loki about me!?” Odin demanded, grabbing the front of Thor’s clothes “You told him I was an unfit father!?”

Thor was pale, he was terrified and he shook his head “N-No! I did not!”

Loki closed his eyes and when he opened them, he was angry. He moved out of his corner to go to Thor’s aid but a cook pulled him back, shaking his head. All the Jotuns had gathered in one corner to keep away from Odin, becoming an obstacle for Loki. He would have to shove his way through and Loki tried, but before he could something else happened entirely.

“Liar!” Odin shook Thor, making him whimper “You disrespected me!”

He raised a hand to strike Thor and Thor turned his head away, eyes shut as he prepared for the hit.

But it never came and a second later, he gasped as he was released.

Thor stumbled back, falling against a table and looked up with frightened eyes to see what was before him.

And what he saw, was likely something he never expected to see.

Tyr was glaring down at their father, Odin’s wrist caught in a vice like grip, his hand merciless as he stopped him from hurting Thor, squeezed his wrist hard enough that it reminded Odin of his own fragility.

“You would strike him?” Tyr hissed, looking Odin in the eye “You will strike my brother?”

Odin was shocked, his face was expressive now that he had no chance of masking his true feelings and he stared at his son.

His Tyr, who dared to stand before him, against _Thor_.

He could scarcely form a word, much less thoughts!

He felt weak and powerless, much like he did when Thor gained control of Mjolnir. He was unable to pick the hammer up and he was unable to pull his hand away from Tyr.

It was a horrifying realization of one single fact

Odin was getting old.

Tyr let him go violently, shoving him away from Thor before standing before him.

“You have any idea what you tried to do?” Tyr asked, his eyes blazing in anger “Do you know who you have tried to betray!?”

Odin glared, finding his voice and stranding taller “That boy spoke against me! He knows better!”

“He knows better?” Tyr echoed “Who do you think he is?”

“He is a disappointment that…”

“He is your son!” Tyr cut in, his voice deep and resonating “How can you do this to him?”

Odin shrugged and the lack of sympathy Tyr saw made him cringe – almost.

“It’s the only way he’ll learn” Odin’s tone was matter of fact, as though stating a disliked trait about a pet.

Loki and Tyr looked murderous, because a moment after he said it, they realized that this was not the first time Odin had hit Thor.

“Get out” Tyr snarled “Get out before I do something you will regret”

There was silence there though Loki was held back, he was not going to stop if Odin touched Thor again.

He really wouldn’t.

His green eyes went to Thor, who was standing behind Tyr, trying to be as small as possible.

Odin looked at him, then he looked at Tyr.

“This is not over”

“I look forward to it” Tyr hissed back at Odin’s threat

Odin huffed and turned away, lashing out and throwing a pile of stacked dishes to the floor, breaking them all in his childish rage. Tyr didn’t move, the Jotun didn’t move and Loki grit his teeth in rage.

The door closed slowly after Odin, likely pushed closed by one of the servants and there was silence in the kitchen.

No one knew what to say.

No one knew what to do.

It was deafening, the sheer tranquility that settled upon them after Odin departed. It was smothering.

“Majesty”

Tyr looked when Aldrin spoke, coming forth

“Let us prepare the cake” he offered “Take Prince Thor away, let him relax. We won’t tell anyone”

Tyr looked surprised, perhaps a little suspicious, but he nodded nonetheless.

“Thank you”

He raised his eyes and looked at Loki

“For taking care of my brother” he spoke directly to Loki

Loki said nothing, he responded by nodding and Tyr knew it was a promise.

A few servants walked in to clean up and some of the younger cooks helped. A sort of activity started, to erase the unpleasantness that filled the room.

Thor moved to stand taller and felt his face heat up in shame at how he had cowered.

He shrank back when Tyr took a step closer, then caught himself and stood still.

“Come on” Tyr said, his voice gentle “Let’s get this off”

He turned Thor around, making him face the wall as he untied his apron. Thor hugged his arms then looked at the bowl of batter on the table beside him.

He sniffed “Stop”

Tyr did, and he looked at him “What’s wrong?”

Thor licked his lips and looked at him over his shoulder.

“I want to finish this” he said softly, looking at his brother “Please?”

And even if he thought Thor was insane, Tyr didn’t show it.

Without hesitating, he nodded and retied his apron.

And from his corner, without a word spoken, Loki watched as both brothers went back to what they were going, talking softly to one another.

There was no laughter this time, but Loki knew that they felt better than they had when Tyr first arrived in the kitchen.

***

The wedding itself, as expected, was grand.

It was a phenomenon, as the Crown Prince of Jotunhiem wed the Third Prince of Asgard.

The Spare Son, he was named.

Though not in public, for fear of being called out and possibly beheaded by one of the elder Odinsons.

The Jotuns had heard of this name and they didn’t say it, mostly out of respect they had for Prince Loki.

He was going to be their King, so it would be best not to get on his bad side. Many had heard stories of him being vindictive when he wanted to be. No one wanted to find out if those stories were true.

So they sat, as did all the guests, in the great hall of Jotunhiem.

And what a spectacular hall it was.

Suspended from the clear, crystal ceiling, were thousands of enlarged, beautiful snowflakes, enchanted to their full glory. They shot beautiful beams of colorful lights in the room, making it look as though the entire hall was under a beautiful spell.

Outside, the sky was a delicate grey and it was reflected on the floor, clouds, mist and snow, all of them. It looked like each and every guest that walked into the hall, walked on clouds.

It was entertaining, seeing their hesitation before they saw others walking perfectly fine on the clouds. Their grins made them look a thousand times more beautiful and it made Laufey, who sat in his Royal Armor, looking like a shining beacon of hope to his people.

His grin never left his face, but it faded, just a little, when instead of the King and Queen of Alfhiem, their Prince and Consort arrived. Gold and frost, they were, both of them looking absolutely stunning as they went to their constructed podium without greeting anyone.

So it was true that the Light Elves were colder than Jotunhiem.

On either side of Laufey, were set two chairs, both placed there for the future King and Consort of Jotunhiem.

When they were wed, this is where they would sit, on either side of their King. One family, sitting together.

It was a symbol of their unison, not as two realms, but as a family.

And oh, how it burned Odin. Laufey could see it, so if it made him smile every now and then, it wasn’t something he could be judged on. He sat looking down upon the ceremony, at the faces of his people.

There was a mixture of reaction in his kingdom, most of them were rather morose at the thought of their precious prince Loki wedding an Aesir monster, the _enemy_. The mere thought if happening was enough to leave scowls upon their faces and bitter tastes in their mouths. The affair, in their opinion, was not something to be celebrated before all Jotunhiem, rather an embarrassment that only few should have witnessed.

Laufey knew their feelings well, as he did those that the All Father felt. There was still a shade of the emotions he had felt during the day, all through the ceremonies Thor had and all through the time of waiting before the wedding started.

It seemed to be the climax of whatever was happening here, but looked like a normal wedding.

To lives were going to be bound forever before so many witnesses, it should have seemed to be bigger if it was to be the climax.

Thor awaited by the stairs before the halls. To him, after all the pain, the suffering and pain he had went through, this was … the end of a story, the end of a war.

He had lost, since he fought horribly, reduced to begging and scared into obedience so many times that it was second nature to him. looking regal in his wedding wear, meant nothing to him as he stood there, ready to be humiliated before the entire universe.

Trillions of souls in the galaxies and Thor was the one with the worst luck.

Thor knew that the wedding ceremony was going to be simple. He and Loki would walk hand in hand to the dais, where the King himself would wed them. They would sign their papers, take their seats and watch the following feast take place.

It was simple enough in theory, but the ridicule, the disrespect Thor was going to walk into made his feet feel like lead; it was hard to move them.

Both his brothers were out there, Odin was out there and his mother was in a place where she would never hear him, no matter how hard he cried.

And he had.

He had cried non-stop since she left.

In fact, he felt that if he cried now, it was going to be because of her.

If he was honest, he didn’t know how to feel right now, at this exact moment. He knew there were some feelings swirling along inside him, something that was telling him to run, but for the life of him he couldn’t

He just couldn’t!

He was weak, he was stupid and with a father like Odin, he was terrified. He could run because Odin was going to kill him.

He needed to be here, he needed to do this.

Not for himself, no.

He needed to do this to survive.

A door clicked behind him and Thor turned automatically. His blue eyes went wide as he saw his fiancé walk over.

Loki looked – even to Thor’s ruined mind – beautiful.

With his pale skin, his stunning eyes and black hair, Thor thought he looked like someone descending from the Valkeyries themselves.

He looked like a god.

And when he smiled at Thor, the younger man could swear it killed him.

“Worry not” Loki said, walking over.

His own garment looked flawless, complimenting his pale skin, highlighting the beauty he possessed. It shined in the hall and Thor could only stare.

Loki winked at him “I will not hurt you, I swear. All you have to do is take my hand and walk with me. Nothing else”

He held out his hand for Thor and Thor noted that he still wore Sigyn’s ring.

He didn’t dare say anything about it, and he held his hand out, not taking Loki’s.

Loki looked into his eyes and kept his mouth shut rather than telling him not to be afraid, not to be worried,

Not to start crying.

Because he was going to make it better.

And that promise came with the heavy drums that announced the doors to be opened.

Loki took Thor’s hand in his own, slender one and then inhaled deeply.

“Breathe in, Thor” he said “Be calm”

Thor nodded and inhaled, looking ahead of him as the doors opened slowly, a slit that slowly widened before them.

A stunning display of ice, crystal and lights momentarily stunned Thor and he had his mouth opened a little, as he was led forth.

The ceiling, the entire ceiling was – was like glass! There were huge snowflakes high above them, the walls of the hallways _moved_ with them, as both Thor and Loki walked forward.

Floor to ceiling snowflakes moved within polished, transparent ice walls, marking their progress with their spins.

Thor was absolutely taken and he gasped softly when he saw small, snow nymphs flying around them, flying into the air before they settled on the snowflakes to watch the ceremony.

It was stunning, absolutely stunning and Thor looked at the dais before them.

Laufey was standing to his full, impressive height, easily towering over the scrawny, thin Asgardian prince before him once they stopped at his feet.

Silence fell, the dull thrumming of conversation faded as Laufey was to start.

No one made a sound, even the nymphs seemed to have stopped their giggling.

Thor had never witnessed a ceremony like this before and his eyes went wide as he saw him extend a dagger to Loki.

For the first time since they held hands, Loki let go to take the dagger and slice open his palm, mercilessly. Thor winced and realized he had to do this too. He almost didn’t take the dagger after that revelation, but since Laufey placed a thick coat of ice over Loki’s palm, Thor was at least sure he would get treatment.

So, he placed the dagger on his palm and sliced it, hissing and flinching.

If Laufey noticed, he said nothing, and he placed the snow on Thor’s hand as well.

He tipped the dagger above a glass, thick liquid inside it, and watched the blood drip from the edge in five neat little drops before it stopped.

Without a word, and as the custom continued, the glass and drink was given to Loki.

“To Jotunhiem, I swear” Loki said, holding it in his uninjured hand “To protect, cherish and care for the man by my side. I swear to honor him, I vow to keep him and I promise to give him my life, as though it was his”

He took a sip, then gave the goblet to Thor.

He almost burst out laughing at Thor’s disgusted expression but controlled himself.

“To Asgard, I swear” Thor spoke “To obey, please and cherish my new lord. I swear to honor him, to give his name the power it needs and to be subservient for as long as I live”

Laufey watched him drink the mead and then took the glass from him

“Then by the power of Jotunhiem, by the strength of her winds and the life of her ice, I announce your union to be binding forever”

He brought their hands together and tied a string around them

He whispered prayers and blew air into their faces, making them both blink.

“To Thor and Loki” he called

“To Thor and Loki”

The entire hall echoed, the rumbling making Thor’s soul shake.

More than it already was.

***

“Thor?”

A knock upon the door

“Dear, if you hurry, it would be really appreciated” Loki said, holding a stack of his clothes, folded over an arm “I would love it if I could get out of these wedding clothes”

Inside, sitting on the floor, huddled in the farthest corner, Thor sat with his head in his hands.

Ever since they were bound and that enchanted stride faded into their bloodstream, making them one, Thor had been in a state where he neither knew what happened or what to think.

He knew he did what he had to, he knew a few people talked to him, but that was about it. It was much later that he realized that he was now in the royal bedchambers and that Loki was talking to a few guards outside.

When and how, who brought him here, Thor didn’t know, but he had turned and fled the moment he heard Loki shut the door. He had ran into the bathing room and sat on the floor, his eyes wide, his breathing becoming labored.

He couldn’t and hadn’t moved.

He was as Jotunhiem was famed to be – frozen.

Thor could hear Loki knocking and talking and he knew that sooner or later he had to open the door, but for the sakes of the norns, he couldn’t even breathe! How was he supposed to … to do what his father clearly expected him to!?

He couldn’t and it made him duck his face into his knees, closing his eyes and trying not to snap.

He knew he was about to.

He knew there was no going back after this.

He sniffed and let loose a series of breathy sobs as he sat there, huddled in the corner.

Outside, Loki slowly lowered the hand he had raised to knock. He heard the sob, then the soft whine of pain Thor gave and before he knew it, he came to a decision.

Turning and heading to the bed, he put down the clothes in his hands. Looking at the door to make sure it didn’t open before time, Loki pulled open a drawer to his ice bedside table, then reached in, taking out the key to the bathroom.

He could apologize later if Thor got upset with him, but for now, he needed to get the door open. In a few quick strides, he was at the door, putting the key in the lock and opening it.

He tried to be slow, in fact he was, non-threatening and devoid of all negative emotions, but Thor looked up at him with the eyes of a haunted soul. There was shock on his face, the unrestrained fear.

He was terrified.

Thor gasped and shot to his feet, shaking his head

“I – I was going to open it, my lord, I swear!” he said, hands extended, as though Loki was going to hurt him “I didn’t mean to offend you, please don’t punish me, my father will kill me!”

Loki was frozen by the door, his green eyes wide. He had no idea how to proceed with this, and he licked his lips, thinking before he spoke.

His voice was firm, he swore never to use it on Thor again, and he pointed to the room

“Go to the room, Thor” he said

He could swear, he saw the color drain from Thor’s face, he saw the terror fixed within his eyes. He gave a soft, frightened cry and nodded, rushing past Loki, all but jumping away, and went to the room.

He faced Loki instantly, not willing to give him his back.

Loki was looking at the floor, delaying his response as he thought of something fitting to say to this young man.

He pulled the door shut, then slowly looked at Thor.

“Thor, what did your father say to you?” he asked “Tell me simply, without being afraid.”

Thor raised a hand to wipe his eyes “I didn’t m-mean to offend you, my lord, I swear I was going to…”

“Thor” Loki cut in gently “Answer what I have asked, please”

Thor looked _broken_ His blonde hair was a mess, his eyes were far too wide and glassy and he was shaking.

Loki could see his hands shake.

“H-He said that I am t-t-to be your whore…” Thor whimpered “he said I had to l-let you take me, b-but I am not ready, that is why I was in there, I meant no disrespect!”

Loki bit his lips to say anything against Odin right now.

Not right now, he needed to get Thor to calm down, the boy was going to have a breakdown if he didn’t.

“Take a sip of water and sit down for a second” Loki said “Let me change into my sleepwear, then I will come out”

It would also, thankfully, give Thor the time he needed to gather himself.

Loki, for the moment, ignored Thor as he picked up his clothes and went to the bathroom, leaving the young man alone. Inside the washroom, he went to take a bath, stripping of his clothing and throwing it the corner for the servants to take. As he walked to the tub, he saw his wrist, looking at the point above the veins.

There were two red lines over his right wrist, both of them surrounding his wrist. Both of them proof of his two weddings.

One was slightly faded, the other was much darker and Loki sighed, touching the line that belonged to Sigyn.

He missed him, even now, his heart ached for him.

But he knew, that beyond the door and in his room, sat someone whose heart was even more shattered than Loki’s. he knew it was broken, possible beyond repair.

And he knew that no one else, other than him had been given a chance to mend it and fix whatever damage had been done. This was Loki’s dilemma to solve, no one else’s.

Inhaling deeply, to give him courage, Loki turned on the water and stepped into the tub, sitting in it and waiting for it to fill for him.

The soft sounds of a bath filling lulled his mind into a state of effortless thought. He wanted to make Thor feel comfortable, even happy here, but that couldn’t happen if Thor didn’t trust him.

He thought Loki was a monster, maybe someone who was just like his father.

Ruthless, uncaring and cold.

Thor probably had him labelled as some sort of barbarian, who would defile him, hurt him in the worst possible way and leave him bleeding. He probably thought the Loki would drink his blood, chop him into little pieces and leave him for the wolves.

And it was all Odin’s fault.

All of it.

Loki’s hand clenched in anger as he grit his teeth and told himself not to kill Odin.

The whole time the feast took place tonight, Loki had kept Odin at bay. He had made sure that he didn’t come near Thor, or even near enough to glare at him. He had made sure that Thor was safe and that no poison seeped from Odin’s lips to harm his son.

And to be on the safe side and since Thor didn’t seem too keen on meeting them, Loki had also told Thor’s brothers to stay away from him.

They had obeyed, but looked worried.

Loki neither confirmed their fears nor denied them taking wicked delight in seeing them cringe every time he spoke or touched Thor’s arm.

It was due, anyway.

Loki blinked when he saw the water was dangerously close to overflowing and quickly shut it off. He pulled the drain and let some of it drain away before he looked at his vast arrays of shampoos and soaps.

Loki indulged in these things, often taking a bath just to smell like one of the many fragrances he favored. But at the moment, he couldn’t bring himself to choose, randomly picking one up and starting to lather it into his hair.

His mind was not in it, he was thinking of how best to try and calm the young man sitting on the other side of the door and how to start his second marriage on a path that would give them both an ending they deserved.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SO SO SO sorry. But work is killing me. I might quit. I have many replies to get to and I will as soon as I can breathe!


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start clearing up

Under the Jotun skies, with stars all around and the promise of a chilled, freezing night, lay the dome that held the newlywed Thor and Loki.

Their start was, as expected, worse than they thought. Both of them were in the same room, but with a firmly closed bathing room door between them. Loki was on one side, Thor on the other, awaiting what he thought as his punishment.

No doubt, Loki would walk out of there, anger in his eyes, furious at the thought of Thor daring to refuse him. He would do whatever he wanted to Thor and there was little the Asgardian could do to prepare himself.

He was only nineteen, how was he supposed to deal with all that life was throwing at him? How was he supposed to deal with having sex with a man who was angry at him, when he blushed in shame just thinking of the act? How was he just …. Expected to let himself be tarnished and ruined forever, without a fight?

What was he supposed to do now?       

Thor had no idea, no clue of what to do and he sat there, where he was, trying to think and avoid thinking at the same time. He didn’t know how this night would end but he knew it would forever change him.

Swallowing thickly, he looked at the door.

The bathroom door, admittedly, was beautiful. There was a floral carving on it, smooth and crystal like, while the base of the door was frosted ice, giving only the vaguest of shapes of the inside of the room. It was a gorgeous piece of architecture and at any other day and emotional mindset, Thor would have marveled at it, but tonight it was a wraith, reminding him of what he had to do and who he had to please.

It was a symbol of fright for Thor and it was enough to make him want to run away.

He pain would no doubt ne unbearable, he would bleed, Loki would make sure of it, and when he would be at his lowest, Loki would…

The lock clicked.

Thor could swear that he felt his stomach drop, felt his heart start to race faster as his husband walked out, dressed in a loose, deep collared green tunic and soft trousers. His hair was wet and pushed back and as he closed the door, a few water droplets glittered on his chest, peeking through the deep collar.

He turned and gave Thor a smile, showing him the bunched up towel in his hands.

“Wet” he said, unsure of what to say

Thor was unsure of how to respond, so he simply nodded

“The bath is free if you want it” Loki said, heading to the door “I will be back in a few minutes”

Doubtlessly, to end Thor.

Inhaling deeply, Thor watched Loki leave his bedchambers to go into his living room, gently closing the door behind him. he knew this was going to happen tonight, it happened everywhere in the world, but only a chosen few, unfortunate ones would suffer through what Thor would tonight.

The knowledge that Loki would be back had Thor trapped in his fear, but he made himself get up and walk to the small trunk brought over.

The rest of his belongings were all on Asgard, this was the only thing he had brought with him. he opened it and looked inside to see a few days worth of clothes, and the one thing that gave him the support he always needed.

Frigga’s clip.

It was encased in a small glass box that Thor had bought to keep it safe, the last thing his mother gave him before she died. Just looking at it, Thor felt less alone, less threatened and less vulnerable. There was little he could do about what would happen tonight, but there was a lot he could do to prepare himself for it.

Shutting his mind down completely sounded like a good idea, and he had done it when Odin lost his temper and gave him a sound beating, so he knew he was good at it. Another option was begging, but he doubted Loki would stop if he begged, he was Loki’s property now, he had no will.

None at all.

And it was with his lack of will that he reached in and pulled out his own sleep tunic, a long, knee length tunic that was soft and sleeveless and a pair of trousers, gentle on his skin. Picking them out, he went to the bathing room again and closed the door behind him once he entered.

He locked it, just to feel secure.

Thor turned away from the door and went to the sink, placing his clothes on the counter in a neatly folded pile before he went to the tub.

The red knob, undoubtedly, was for the hot water and he turned it to the right, smiling when the water filled the tub from a slot at the base of the tub rather than the traditional taps. He felt it, dipping his toes inside it, watching the steam rise, then turned on the cold water, adjusting it to the temperature he wanted.

Stepping back, he pulled off his clothes before he looked at himself in the mirror above the sink.

His thin, boney body was disgusting to look at and Thor turned way, as he always did upon catching his reflection. He didn’t want to confirm how big a disappointment he was.

Looking at the tub, Thor stared unseeing, for a few minutes before he saw small, dots on the edge of the tub.

Frowning, he went to inspect them and saw that they were buttons, rising from the tub itself. Curious, he pressed one, then gasped as the tub lit up, illuminating the water and the crystal beauty of the tub itself.

“Marvelous” Thor whispered, looking at and pressing the next button.

Another gasp escaped his lips when it the water started to bubble and when he pressed the other two, he out right laughed because the tub sent soap bubbles flying into the air, and let lights dance beneath the crystal surface of the bathtub.

This was the most amazing thing Thor had ever seen, he longed to spend time in it.

Letting everything run, Thor turned the water off and watched it bubble, then picked up a bottle of soap. He poured a few drops in the water, smiling when clouds of bubbles and soap spread out. Without hesitating, Thor got in and sunk into the water, a smile on his face and his shoulders strong. And outside, hearing him play about, Loki lay in bed, reading a book and waiting for his new husband to make his appearance.

***

Eventually, sadly, the door to the bathroom door opened, signaling that Thor was now back from his enjoyable bath.

Loki was sitting at his desk, rather than the bed and watched the young man emerge, raising a hand to brush back his wet locks, while pretending he hadn’t seen Loki.

The tea before him smelled heavenly as Loki sipped it, making sure to be as silent as he could so he didn’t spook Thor further.

Already, the glow he had after taking that bath was vanishing, fading away when he stepped close to the bed, hesitating before lifting a corner of the furs and getting in. he pulled his knees up and waited, watching the way his hands held together rather than anywhere else.

Loki wanted to get him to relax, because he saw a scared boy, but to do it, and have Thor believe it, would require him to be a little firm.

So, Loki let him wait while he finished his tea, observing the way he put his arms around himself every now and then. He was so nervous it was making Loki feel like a monster, so when he could take no more and when Thor looked like he would just pass out from terror, Loki put his mug down and stood.

Thor wasn’t expecting the movement and he looked at him, a soft gasp coming from him. His eyes were focused on Loki, his breathing coming in soft pants, his tears getting stronger and stronger with every step Loki took, until they were shining in his eyes, brighter than stars.

Loki ignored the pain those tears sent through him at the way Thor stared at him and ne walked to the bed, eyes intently on Thor.

His was a four poster bed, with drapes that fell around it, covering the sides and hiding them from the outside world, so when he was standing by the bed, he released the tie and watched as thick blue drapes fell from the sides, trapping them both within.

Loki’s gaze never left Thor and Thor’s gaze never stopped shining in fear.

“Lie down” Loki ordered, hating himself at the flinch Thor gave

The boy was obviously trying hard not to cry, his face was red, his eyes frightened, but he obeyed. He lay down flat on his back and looked at the point where the drapes around Loki’s bed met.

Loki got into his side of the bed and sat down, nudging his slippers off and trying to tell himself this was for Thor. Only Thor’s good – he had to know Loki wouldn’t hurt him.

Once his slippers were off, he lifted his pale feet into the bed and finally, finally gave Thor his full attention.

“Thor” he said softly “I told you I will not hurt you. Please, stop crying”

Thor took a loud, shuddering gasp “I can’t!”

Loki turned himself so he could look down at him “May I touch your cheek?”

Thor shook his head and inhaled deeply

“Alright, I will not” Loki said “But look at me, can you look at me, please?”

Another loud sob broke through and Thor looked at him

“Do you see me hurting you?” Loki asked

“You….”

“Do you?” Loki asked firmly “Thor, tell me, I can do whatever I want, that is what you think, aye? Then do you see me hurting you?”

“No, but ….”

“Then please stop crying, darling” Loki said “It does not suit someone like you”

Thor’s lip quivered “You won’t hurt me?”

“I will not”

“You won’t f-force me like – like they say?”

“Whoever they are,” Loki said “They are wrong, I have not and will not ever hurt you”

“Why?” Thor whimpered, needing to know

Loki smiled “Because you are my friend, Thor. And friends do not hurt each other”

Thor looked at him, still hurt and upset “You didn’t answer my letters”

Loki frowned “What letters?”

“Th- The one’s I …”

Thor inhaled sharply and promptly fell into a coughing fit. Loki moved forward, helping him up and patting his back, rubbing soothing circles on it as he coughed, gasped and cried, all at the same time.

He turned and there, by his bed, behind the flowers was a handkerchief. He picked it up and handed it to Thor, who put it to good use.

It resulted in something good because Thor could hide his face in it as he wept, giving himself the secrecy needed to calm down. And in that time, Loki got out of bed and got him a big goblet of water.

“Here” he said, coming to sit in front of him “Drink”

Thor hiccupped, wiped his tears and took the water, handing Loki his handkerchief. Loki took it without complaint and folded it up, waiting for Thor to finish the water.

When he did, he held the goblet between his palms and set it in his lap, sniffing every now and then, but much, much calmer.

“Do you feel better?” Loki asked him softly

Thor nodded “Yes”

His voice was thick because of all the crying and Loki reached over and gently brushed a strand of hair behind his ear

“How long have you been holding it in?” he asked, once more gentle

Thor sniffed and looked at him for a moment, then looked back at the bed

“F-Forever”

“I see” Loki said “Do you wish me to get you anything to help you feel better? Maybe one of your brothers?”

Thor shook his head “No, I … I am fine”

“Alright” Loki said

He sat there patiently, knowing that Thor was done with his long due outburst. He said not a word and waited, almost patting himself on the back when Thor looked at him again

“Thank you”

Loki rolled his eyes and waved a hand, “Ah, no need to thank me, my dear. I am honored to take care of you”

Thor sniffed and looked at the goblet, extending it to Loki again

“May I have more?”

“Of course” Loki took it from him and walked out of the drapes, filling the glass up.

When he came back from where the water was placed, Thor was lying on his side, facing Loki.

“Here” he said, sitting by him again “Sit up”

Loki’s cheery voice helped him sit up and Thor drank it slower this time.

“Now” Loki said, looking at him “Would you mind telling me why you were so upset? Other than – other than the fact that you held it in forever”

Thor swallowed thickly and looked at him “I don’t want to be here. I didn’t want to get married, not to anyone… but …”

“But they made you” Loki asked

Thor nodded “And – And I thought that you would hurt me. Everyone said…”

“Who is everyone?” Loki asked

Thor thought about it “F-Father said it, Narvi – he is Tyr’s friend – a few of F-Fandral’s comrades, everyone”

“And you believed them?” Loki asked gently “Naturally, you would, you grew up with them”

He kept his rage against Odin out of his voice.

“It – It’s just …” Thor croaked “You didn’t reply to m-my letters…”

“And you thought that I cared naught” Loki finished softly.

When Thor nodded, Loki sighed and looked at him

“Darling” he said gently “I never got any letters. Should I have, know I would have written back to you instantly.”

Thor frowned at that “You didn’t get them? H-How, I sent you five letters”

“I did not get one” Loki shook his head “If you do not believe me, I … I can get you to ask your Hiemdall, he wouldn’t lie, would he?”

“No, he wouldn’t” Thor said softly.

He exhaled and bent his knees, putting his forehead on them.

“I’m sorry I wept” he said, his voice muffled from the position he was in

“Don’t be” Loki said “Real men, those who know their strength, cry”

Thor shook his head, but said nothing and Loki stayed sitting next to him.

The silence they were in was still tense, mostly because Thor was still upset and Loki tried thinking of a way to console him or even cheer him up.

“Do you wish for me to sleep elsewhere?” Loki asked “It will be no problem”

That truly surprised Thor and he looked up, his big blue eyes staring at Loki

“You would do that?”

Loki gave a short laugh “I would do much more, if you let me”

Thor frowned a little “Like what?”

Loki’s brows raised “Like … snapping my fingers and turning my hair green”

Which he did, and Thor gasped, leaning back a little in shock “Oh! Your hair!”

Loki smiled “Why? Do you not like it?”

“No, it …” Thor looked at his face “Can – Can you show me more?”

Loki grinned “What would you like to see?”

Thor blinked a few times “I … I always wanted to see a unicorn”

Loki smiled “Then we need to get out of the bed, I think”

Quick as a fox, Thor jumped out of bed and pushed past the drapes to follow Loki, who was a few feet ahead. He stopped when Loki told him to and waited.

With a combination of hand gestures that were far too exaggerated, Loki let his magic spread, then formed an illusion of a unicorn before Thor.

Thor’s gasp and the wonder in his eyes seemed to outshine the Jotun moon.

“This is amazing”

Loki smiled “Thank you. Anything else?”

Thor shook his head then watched as the unicorn started to fade “This is almost unreal?”

“Aye, it is called magic for a reason” Loki smiled

“No, not that” Thor said, making Loki frown “You”

Loki blinked in surprise “I don’t understand”

“You have all this power, all these rights over me” he said, looking directly into Loki’s eyes “Yet you did nothing to me, in fact you took care of me… I don’t understand why”

“I do” Loki said, walking over to him and stopping right before him “it’s because a year ago, you did the same for me. I had lost, basically, my entire life, in one night. And a week later, as I sat there, mourning and crying, no one came after me to give me food or to make sure I was fed. You did”

He reached out and touched Thor’s nose

“You sat there, with me, on that bench and talked to me for two hours” Loki said “You made me laugh, you gave me your company. You made me realize that even though my heart was broken, there were ways to fix it”

Loki smiled “And you were right”

He saw color dust Thor’s cheeks at that and felt his lips curve into a gentle grin.

“M-May I ask you something?” Thor said “And you do not have to answer if you don’t wish to”

“You can ask me anything” Loki replied “Go on”

“H-How …” Thor broke off “What happened that night?”

Loki was unprepared for this, and as such the pain that accompanied the memories.

“You mean when I lost Sigyn?” he asked

Thor nodded “Aye”

His hands came towards and grasped Loki’s.

Loki looked at their hands and felt as though Thor’s fingertips seeped strength into him, told him it was alright, just like he was telling Thor at this very moment.

He raised his eyes to Thor’s and they shined with a film of thin tears and the ever present pain.

“There was a prison riot” Loki said, standing where he was “Sigyn went to fight and I did not”

“Why?” Thor asked

He gave Loki’s hands a tug and led him to a large, wide couch that sat on the left of the bed. There was a short table before it and Thor seated himself on that, once it was deemed strong enough.

“Well” Loki said, looking into his eyes “I was pregnant”

A stillness came upon Thor and Loki watched his mouth part, a flash of hurt going over his face as he calculated and understood what came of that baby.

When he didn’t speak, Loki went on.

“Sigyn got hurt” Loki said “But, not that badly and I over reacted, I was angry, I was scared. We fought and argued, but … at the end we were fine, we were in love”

Loki blinked, gaze unfocused as he went back into the past “That night, I was restless. I kept thinking that Sigyn was gone, that having him back was just a dream. So, I kept getting up at night, to check if he was there or not”

“You were afraid” Thor said, looking at him

Loki looked at his face and nodded “I was”

“Then what happened?” Thor asked

“I went to the bathroom” Loki said, looking towards the door “To wash my face, because I was … upset. I looked up and – and there was a man behind me, with a brand on his neck, marking him as a man sentenced to die”

Thor gasped softly

“He grabbed me and I screamed for Sigyn” Loki said, shaking his head “If I – I had just kept my mouth shut, he would never have come for me”

There was a frown on Thor’s face but before he could speak, Loki continued.

“Sigyn came, obviously” Loki went on “And he swore to protect that man as long as he swore not to hurt me. We went outside into the snow and …”

Thor blinked, looking at him, knowing this was hard for him.

“And he stabbed me” Loki whispered, his voice shaking “Sigyn attacked him and …”

Thor pulled his lips inwards, closing his eyes.

He knew what happened next, everyone did.

And he watched as Loki looked aside, trying to be brave.

The Jotun prince startled when a gentle hand cupped his cheek and he looked at Thor, surprised, as the boy wiped his tears away, tears he didn’t even know spilled down his cheeks.

“It’s alright” Thor said, getting to his feet

Loki watched him sit next to him, watched him gently make Loki face him and put his arms around him.

“It’s alright” Thor whispered, embracing him, setting his cheek on Loki’s shoulder “You can cry if you want to”

Loki blinked in surprise before his own hands came around Thor and he closed his eyes, holding the boy against him, taking and giving comfort to him, just like Thor was.

“I have you” Loki whispered “Thank you”

Thor hummed against him, a gentle, melodious sound that made Loki feel warm all over.

“You’re welcome, my lord” Thor told him.

He rubbed his back and held him for a few more seconds before he backed away, both of them separating.

Loki wiped his eye and Thor sat back against the couch, releasing a loud sigh

Silence fell between them for a long time, each looking for something to say to the other but not knowing where to start.

Their night had been emotional, to say the least and they had yet to find their footing.

“Do you…”

Loki turned and looked at Thor over his shoulder before sitting properly, hearing his husband

“Want to know something funny?” Thor asked, looking at him

Loki smiled “Of course”

Thor licked his lips and sat back “When I was younger, I mean younger than I am now, I used to sneak into Balder’s room when I was afraid. He always took care of me”

Loki listened, a polite expression on his face.

“So, once there was a horrible storm, I was around eight, I guess” Thor recalled “and I ran to him, sliding into his sheets…”

He looked at Loki, blushing

“But he wasn’t alone in bed”

Loki’s eyes widened and he gasped “No…”

“Yes” Thor said “I remember both of them screaming and Balder trapping me in his arms, a hand over my eyes as she dressed and ran out..”

Loki was laughing, a hand over his mouth

“And …” Thor said “And then he didn’t know what to do because then he was alone, he wasn’t wearing anything and had to shield my eyes…”

Loki shook his head “Norns!”

Thor smiled at him, happy to make him laugh “ Then I remember he came to his senses, ordered me to get under the furs and not move until he told me”

He sniggered “I torment him about it till this day…frightening as it was for me.”

Another chuckle came from Loki and he shook his head “Oh, Ymir…”

He sniggered and shook his head “What an absolutely horrible experience”

Thor watched him, watched as his laughter slowly diminished

“Do you feel better?” he asked

“Hmm?” Loki looked at him “Aye, I do, thank you”

“Good” Thor said “Because I made that up”

Loki, who had started to get up, spun back “What!?”

“I made that up!” Thor laughed “Did you actually believe that an eight year old, going into his brother’s used bed was funny?”

Loki gaped

“You are a disturbing old man” Thor pointed out

“I am not old!” Loki pointed out “I’m thirty one!”

“Absolutely horrid” Thor shuddered “I’m nineteen. Gods, what does that make you? They have a word for it”

Loki jut his jaw, but the mirth was clear on his face “You are not as innocent as you look, Thor”

“I never claimed to be” Thor said

Loki slit his eyes “Get into bed and sleep, you menace”

Thor smiled and obeyed, going to bed. He made space for Loki, now that he was no longer threatened, but Loki declined.

“I said I would sleep on the couch” Loki smiled at his inquiry “To show you I can be trusted, and I will”

Thor smiled at him, warmth spreading inside him “Thank you, my lord”

“You’re welcome, Thor” Loki said, setting his bedding up on the couch so that he could spend the night there.

His wedding night.

And Loki realized that it was better than he could have ever imagined.

***

“Are you asleep?”

Loki, who had been in a fitful sleep, startled awake when a voice spoke directly above his head.

He blinked his eyes a few times and turned enough to see Thor bent over him, hands tied behind his back as he looked at him with all the charming air of a curious cat. His bright blue eyes blinked, looking into Loki’s and a playful smile tugged at his lips.

“No” Loki slurred “Whatever gave you that idea?”

A breathy laugh hit his face before Thor came to sit on the edge of the couch Loki was lying on.

“I went outside, I didn’t wish to disturb you” he confessed “But it was terribly dark, so I came back”

“Oh?” Loki asked, laying on his back rather than his side as he looked at the young man perched at his feet “And why did you go out at this hour?”

Thor sighed and looked at him, a grimace on his face

“I’m hungry”

And the way he said it, made it look like it was the worst dilemma he has ever faced. It made Loki want to reach out and stroke his head.

“You are hungry?” Loki echoed

Oh, how he remembered being hungry and making midnight raids to the palace kitchens. They were the grandest of his adventures with Helblindi and he realized it was something he could give Thor.

“Alright” Loki said, rubbing his face with both hands “Fetch me my night robe and we shall depart”

Thor grinned and all but shot off the couch, going to where Loki’s robe was. Behind him, left in the dust of his older, advanced age, Loki sat up and stretched as best he could, groaning when a few pops sounded loudly in the room.

He relaxed and gave Thor yet another smile as he came back, Loki’s robes in his hands, his own shawl around his shoulders.

“Come” Thor said “I hope there is that sweet and sour broth that was set upon the largest table, do you remember?”

He held out Loki’s robe for him and Loki smiled at him, liking this side of Thor instantly – not that any other was different.

“I do hope they have it” Loki said, pushing the furs off himself and standing up.

He put his arms in the sleeves of his robe, then tied up the front

“Thank you, Thor”

Thor blinked, surprised “For what?”

Loki turned and gave him beatific grin “For making me fit so snugly into my robe”

There was another breathy laugh from Thor and he watched Loki put on his slippers, his soft, comfortable flats, and then followed him out, keeping close.

“Are the kitchens far from the room?” Thor asked him, all but sticking to his back

“Sadly, they are in another part of the palace” Loki said as they climbed down the stairs and into the hall “When we were younger, my brother and I would pretend to battle each other.”

He looked at Thor

“Both of us would have false weapons and would be given the task of assassinating the other” Loki told him “All before reaching the kitchen. If one reached the kitchen without being assassinated, then they would have the honor of deciding what the losing party would eat”

Thor was staring as though Loki relayed a tale of epic proportions

“And what if one is assassinated?” he asked “What then?”

“Then the assassin wins” Loki said

And just like that, inspiration struck

“Would you like to play?” Loki asked “It will help with your appetite”

A gasp left Thor’s lips and he beamed

“May I?” he asked

Then, before Loki’s eyes, he retreated

“I don’t know where the kitchens are” Thor said

Loki hummed, placing a hand under his chin, two fingers tapping his jaw “It matters naught. I can show you the way. You can remember it once you see it, aye?”

Thor nodded “I will remember, may we leave? Please?”

His eagerness grew with each passing second and Loki thought he was going to burst with excitement, both Thor’s and his own.

“Alright, then” he said “Follow me, young prince”

Thor needed no second command and he followed Loki so closely they were almost sticking together.

“Oh, and we cannot alert the guards” Loki told him, as they passed a hall where two Jotun guards were pacing on their nightly shift.

They bowed their heads to both Thor and Loki, before heading on their route.

“If they catch you, you are to tell them to take you to my chambers, which is the starting line” Loki said “You will have to start again, of course”

“Of course” Thor listened very carefully

“And no true hits” Loki said “I do not wish to hurt you nor do I wish to have an unexplainable limp come morning”

“Yes, my lord”              

“And Thor?”

Thor stopped as Loki abruptly turned and faced him

“Please” he said “Call me Loki”

Thor whose smile had faded from his lips, grinned once again “Yes, Loki”

Loki turned smartly and kept giving Thor instructions, told him the rules and made it clear that neither of them are to hurt the other.

The entire way to the kitchens, Loki kept up conversation while Thor listened and took in his surroundings. When they reached the kitchens, they decided not to check and see what was inside, only because it would add to the mystery and intrigue of this game. “See, I almost blinded Helblindi once” Loki told him, on their way back from the kitchens, not ten minutes after reaching it “So, no hitting. In fact, let us by pass weapons. The assassin can kill the other person be performing a running tackle on them”

“A running tackle?” Thor asked, walking beside him “Won’t it hurt?”

“Not if done correctly” Loki said “All you need it to make sure that our heads do not hit the marble too hard. You know how to do that, yes?”

Thor nodded “You keep your neck tense…”

“And your head up” Loki said “Excellent. You are very intelligent. I did not know what when I was your age”

Thor blushed under the compliment and he looked at him.

The stress over the past few months was … well, it was nearly nonexistent. He knew it was lurking around, it would not be completely gone, but at the moment, he didn’t care about it. He knew it was because of this game and he longed to focus on it rather than what was to come.

In his mind, the unpleasant would hit him, no matter what. He would make the best of it in the meantime.

Loki kept on talking to him till they reached his chambers once again, then looked at Thor.

“Alright” he said, looking into his eyes “Any more questions?”

“No” Thor shook his head “Come on, we have to play!”

He gave a little hop on the spot and Loki couldn’t help but laugh

“Easy, Thor” he laughed “We can’t wake others!”

Thor winced, but sniggered, looking at Loki conspiratorially “Sorry, when do we start?”

“Well” Loki said, looking around “Go into the room and come back out after you touch the bathing room door. That will give us time to separate and try and kill the other. Go”

He turned Thor to the door and pointed forward.

Thor rushed forward and Loki turned to fade into the darkened staircase.

Each was more excited than they thought possible.

As Thor stepped out, he had a huge grin on his face and his eyes searched for Loki. He knew his husband was lurking about somewhere, possibly in the shade.

So he was careful. He took one step after the other, body bent, as though ready to pounce at a moment’s notice. The halls were silent and Thor had to commend Loki on his stealth because he could not hear him.

He knew Loki couldn’t have reached the bottom, he wasn’t that fast, yet not a sound of a step or intake of breath alerted Thor.

He climbed down the stairs, keeping a lookout, until he reached the end of the hallway that led into the entire castle. Here, the field was open and Thor knew Loki was around here somewhere.

He just had to find him before Loki did.

So, he made sure to look about as he headed down the halls and to the kitchen. The way wasn’t that long, and Thor delayed, stopping at every click or shift he heard, spinning and turning with the agility given to him by his mother, till he made sure no one was around him.

Then, he took a few confident steps, before going back to being stealthy.

The guards they had passed a while back were about to come up and since Thor couldn’t get caught by them, he ducked behind a thick set of drapes, awaiting their passing.

“Hello”

Thor yelped and turned, catching sight of a pair of mischievous green eyes before he was poked in the ribs, making him laugh and double over, holding his sides for protection against the attacks.

But they never came

Because when Thor looked up, Loki was gone.

Standing there, mouth agape, Thor realized that Loki was going to be harder to catch than he thought.

So he waited, until the coast was clear, until the guards had passed, before he slipped out from the drapes and went to search for his lost husband.

His sneaky, lost husband.

Thor, having had a taste of what Loki could do, was more cautious. Every movement made, every passing shadow made him alert. His eyes scanned his surroundings, capturing everything in their blue depths.

He was not going to cackle again.

“Thor!”

Loki’s voice barked in his ear.

And Thor _screamed_ \- like a girl.

The sound echoed in the hallway, more than once, before fading into nothing.

It had Loki laugh so hard he stumbled back as Thor turned to look at him, his blue eyes both shocked and in horror.

“Your face!” Loki wheezed, pointing to him “You should have seen your face!”

Thor inclined his jaw and turned his body, tensing like a spring before he pounced.

Loki’s laughter diminished and he gasped, jumped out of Thor’s path and made a run for it.

In the opposite direction.

“No!” Thor called, laughter ringing in his voice “Get back!”

Gone was the need to keep silent as Thor chased after him, running as fast as he could to catch Loki.

Loki was surprisingly fast and Thor was having trouble keeping up.

So, he changed the game.

He slowed down, watching Loki run off further and further, then turned and made his way to the kitchen.

If and when Loki would realize it, Thor would be too far away for him to do anything. So the teen rushed to the kitchen, running at full speed.

Halfway through, he heard Loki running behind him, having realized what Thor had done.

“That is cheating!” he laughed, a good few meters behind him.

Thor barked in laughter and raced onwards, wanting to reach the kitchens before Loki.

Loki’s slippers made hard, smacking noises against the marble as he tried to win.

He was getting closer and Thor knew that something drastic had to be done.

So, with a plan in his mind and glee in his eyes, Thor slowed down enough to give Loki heavy momentum. When he was close enough, Thor turned and stood right before Loki, hearing his loud yelp as Thor lunged at him, both of them hitting the marble, Thor on top of Loki, his tackle successful.

Their hearts were beating loudly and blood rushed in Loki’s veins as he lay there, stunned, on his back, his eyes on the ceiling.

And Thor?

Thor was rolling on the cold marble, sniggering and laughing at the expression, the sheer ungraceful expression Loki had made when he realized he was done for, that he had lost his own game.

It was so against what Loki represented as a royal.

And it was endearing as all hell, really.

Thor didn’t think there was a better expression in the world.

***

“So, what now, dear husband?”

Thor looked at Loki and sighed heavily.

“I did not see this coming” he said

“It is certainly dire”

Loki replied to him as both of them stood, side by side, looking at the empty storage pantry. There wasn’t even a slab of butter or a loaf of bread.

“One would think that they at least saved that cake you made” Loki pouted “I wanted it”

Thor sniggered and felt brave enough to nudge him a little with his shoulder. He said nothing, but Loki could sense the battle that had no doubt taken place in Thor’s mind before he did it.

“Are we giving up, then?” Thor asked “Because I am famished”

“So am I” Loki all but whined

Thor smiled and looked around the empty kitchen, free of staff.

And a thought occurred to him.

“Do you wish to make something?” he asked “The pantry is stocked, remember? We can just make something”

Loki looked at him, his eyes wide “Fish fillets! Oh, Thor, you must taste those, my darling!”

Thor was startled by his sudden eagerness and he followed him back to the pantry they had left open not two minutes ago.

Loki dug into it like a man with a purpose and he pulled out a large chunk of fish, a few spices, herbs and butter.

Just the thought of what Loki would do with those had Thor’s mouth watering.

Loki turned and handed Thor the materials before going to the closest station.

“These take minutes to make” he told Thor “and vanish far too fast”

He picked up a frying pan and set it down, then looked around for matches. When he found them, he bent to pick up the twigs and sticks that were always under the logs set beneath each station for fire.

He set them in the stove, lit them and put the pan on top.

“Thor, be a dear and count how many spices I have”

Thor nodded and put everything he had down on the counter, before he counted the spices.

“Seven” Thor said

“Alright” Loki smiled, clapping his hands together to get rid of whatever was on them.

He faced Thor and beamed

“Now, you learn” he said “watch”

Thor stood by, watching as Loki picked up the fish and pulled a knife from the station before him, slowly cutting thin slices off.

“The key is to keep the knife tipped up, just a little” Loki said “And to cut when you can still see the knife through the flesh”

“Oh” Thor said, nodding “What if it is too thin?”

“If it is too thin,” Loki told him “Then it will burn, if it is too thick it will only take longer to cook”

“Oh, alright” Thor said, rubbing his hand together.

He was shivering, a little, because the kitchen was _very_ cold and Loki noticed it.

“Thor, stand by the fire” he said “And warm a knife for me. If you are trembling that means that butter is hard as a rock. Warm a knife and slice a two inch wide slice. Then place it in the pan to melt”

“Of course, Loki”

Thor went to do as he was asked. He poked the butter before leaving and sure enough, it was hard.

Possibly softer than Odin’s head, but Thor wouldn’t say it out loud.

He lifted the pan off the flame, heeding Loki’s advice to be careful, then held the knife half a foot above the flame.

When it was heated, he went to slice the butter, mildly delighted at how easily it cut through.

“I like this” Thor said

Loki, who was almost done with the slicing, looked at him “What? Cutting butter?”

Thor chuckled and looked at him “No, cooking”

He picked the butter up with gentle hands and put it in the pain

“It is enjoyable” Loki said, looking at the slices he had made.

They were about twenty there, so just to even the number out, he cut a few more.

“Would you like to measure the spices?” Loki asked

“Of course” Thor said, coming back over “How do I start?”

“Start by putting a little black pepper, salt and coriander powder into a bowl. Other than the coriander, put in one teaspoon of each”

Thor nodded and obeyed, carefully measuring everything out. He listened to what Loki said and once the spices were collected, Thor put everything back, then came back.

“Add the spices to the melted butter” Loki instructed “and stir until you smell that delicious aroma”

Thor grinned and nodded, putting the spices into the butter.

A lovely, delicious sizzling noise rose and Thor closed his eyes, humming in delight.

It was magical.

Thor stirred it, just as Loki said, until the smell of delicious, blended spices rose from within.

“This smells so good” he commented

“It tastes even better” Loki told him, coming over with a large platter of raw fillets “Put the fish back while I fry these, then get me two plates and napkins. They are in the cabinet right by the door, above that silver table”

Thor turned to where Loki nodded and saw the table, “Yes”

He picked up the fish, put it back, then went to get the napkins and plates. Setting the napkins inside the plate, he brought it back to their station and watched.

Loki was very careful about it. He dipped the fillets in the hot oil, then stepped back to avoid the bursting bubbles.

His gaze went to Thor, who watched everything with morbid fascination and he smiled

“Just … we have to be careful” he told him “oil burns hurt”

Loki walked back to the pan, lifted it up and placed it aside, before he looked around.

“Thor, get me tongs from that drawer to your right” Loki pointed to it

Thor was leaning against the counter, arms crossed, and looked, immediately opening the drawer and taking out what Loki needed. He handed it to him and watched as Loki pulled the fillets out, placing them on the plates one by one, before he put more in to fry.

It took three sessions and Thor helped Loki in the last one, but eventually, their midnight meal was finished.

Loki placed the pan aside, Thor put the butter back in, Loki poured water over the fire, Thor pulled out a serving tray to set the dishes, Loki brought a keg of juice and goblets, Thor led the way out.

Both of them were grinning as they headed back, hips swaying, laughter in their eyes and their night easier than before.

***

“These are delicious” Thor said, his fingers glistening with butter and spices

He licked off the stuff from his fingers and then picked up a few more.

Loki watched, amused, as Thor tipped his head back and put the entire thing in his mouth

“You will choke” he said, eating with much more decorum than Thor did

Thor gave him a pitying look, which both surprised Loki and made him smile.

“I won’t”

The confidence in that little brat was wondrous and it made him realize that Thor had just … changed.

Over a few sweet words.

How innocent and vulnerable Thor was, just hit Loki and an urge to forever protect him came over.

He watched him devour the fillets, then eye the ones Loki had.

Loki’s brows lifted high and he smiled before picking up one last piece and handing Thor the rest.

“There, devour”

Thor made a gleeful little noise and took it, thanking him as Loki slipped out of the bed they had occupied, heading to the bathing room to wash his hands.

He gave Thor time to himself and took longer than usual in washing his hands before he dried them and came out.

When he did, he saw Thor finishing the last of the juice, predictably drinking right out of the keg, holding their plates in his hands as he stood by the bed.

His head was tipped back and when he was done, he licked his lips and smiled at Loki

“That was delicious” he said “We need to do it again”

Once more, Loki smiled at him, his arms crossed, watching as Thor dutifully cleaned up after both of them, setting everything aside and out of the way, before he slipped back into bed.

Loki waited till he was snuggled in before he walked around, locking the door, extinguishing the lamps, then going to the couch.

“Goodnight, Thor” he said

Thor rolled around on the bed “Goodnight, Loki”

A grin on his face, Loki closed his eyes and pulled the furs up over his shoulder and snuggled into the back of the couch, ready to sleep.

It was so comfortable, so nice and warm that he fell asleep almost instantly.

But not half an hour later, his eyes flashed open as his furs were gently lifted and a warm body crawled into the cramped space with him.

Loki smiled brightly, facing the back of the couch, as Thor cuddled in close, his arm around Loki to keep himself safe. The couch was wide enough but even if it hadn’t been, Loki would be more than happy to make space for Thor.

He said not a word but soon, he heard Thor snore and he felt his body relax as the young Asgardian fell asleep, pasted to Loki’s back.

***

When the morning light hit them, both Thor and Loki groaned at the harsh wake up call. The Jotun son might be dim but to those who were sleeping, it was an unfair entrance into their lives.

“Loki…” Thor whined, hiding his face in his neck

“”I know, dear” Loki groaned, opening his eyes.

He saw their bed and nudged Thor

“Move, we can manage to go there before he collapse again” he pushed Thor

Thor, clearly not a morning person, sighed and forced himself to – walking was too graceful a word for what Thor did – slither his way to bed. Loki sniggered, picked up the furs and pillows, and made his way to the other side.

Thankful of the drapes, he threw his pillow on the bed, then fell in it, curling into his furs.

Thor rolled around in bed before he managed to get comfortable enough to fall asleep and once he did, he curled up with two pillows. There was a contented smile on his face and it was the last thing Loki saw before he dozed off again.

It was fitful, however, and Loki kept waking up for a few seconds, before going back to sleep. And every time he did, he found Thor in a different position than the last time.

When he woke first, Thor was buried in his furs and pillows, then he was out of both, then he wasn’t there at all – he was at the foot of the bed.

Loki slept for an hour, woke to see Thor sleeping on his front, with his rear high in the air and it made him laugh

“Get up” Loki said, his voice thick with sleep “Thor”

He lifted a foot and dug his toes into Thor’s side to tickle him.

Thor whined and fell on the bed, curling up “Leave me alone”

Loki smirked at him “No, it’s late, we need to get up”

Thor only groaned and put his pillow over his head, “I see fault in your logic”

Chuckling, Loki sighed and gave up for now. He retracted his foot and curled under the sheets once more, watching Thor fall back asleep.

Never in his dreams did he think that he could bring this side of Thor out. Never did he think that Thor would laugh with him, but he had hoped. And it was that hope that had paid off now and made him realize that Thor was going to be fine here and that Loki would work well with him.

Turning on his side to get out of bed, Loki whined and stretched his back, sighing in relief as a few loud pops sounded. It wouldn’t help with the fact that Thor called him old, but there was little to be done about that.

Perhaps to the boy, he _was_ old.

Giving Thor one last glance, Loki got to his feet and headed to the bathroom, intending on starting his day earlier.

When he walked in, he smirked as he saw that Thor had absolutely _no_ idea of cleaning up behind him.

The tub was still filled, soapy water everywhere and the towels Thor used crumpled on the floor.

Oh, this was one thing that would change.

Mindful of the mess, Loki went to drain the bath and turned on the overhead shower tap so that it would warm while he took care of other things.

Setting out his shaving tools, Loki did what he had to so that the tub would drain. He undressed and turned to step in when he caught sight of himself in the mirror.

That horrid scar was still on his belly and he touched it, flinching as though it hurt, still. And it did, just not on the wound. His heart was bleeding.

Turning slowly back, Loki made his way into the tub, standing under the cascade of water so he could clean himself.

Unlike Thor, Loki took a few minutes, then picked up the only remaining towel in the room and put it around his waist. He went to the sink to shave.

Loki avoided looking at his body in the mirror. It was terrible, it reminded him of pain and weakness. The only thing he did like about himself were his eyes.

His beautiful, stunning to look at eyes. The one thing that captured Sigyn for him. the one thing he could call unique.

As he shaved, Loki contemplated last night.

He had managed to get Thor out of his shell and he prayed beyond anything he had ever prayed for before that it stayed that way. When he had seen that boy standing there, with no idea about how he would face the life ahead of him, when he had taken his hand and led him out to get wed, he had seen nothing other than the whisper of pain that Thor was.

He had been nothing.

Now, now he was a person, a lovely, charming person.

And it was all Loki’s doing.

His father had been right, his faith in Loki was right.

There was nothing he couldn’t do for Thor now. He would do everything.

A smile came upon his lips as Loki thought about it and while he was busy, unbeknownst to him, the doors to his chambers were opened and a malevolent presence walked in.

Keeping his eye out and sighing in relief when he realized Loki was in the bathroom – for trespassing into a Prince’s chambers was a high crime, even for a King – so he could close the door behind him silently.

Odin was here to fulfil a purpose and he walked to the four poster bed, hearing his whimpering son’s snores when he was close enough.

Parting the drapes when he reached them, Odin’s mouth turned into a displeased snarl and he reached out, yanking the furs off Thor.

The boy gasped and turned, sitting up with a loud cry when he saw Odin standing there, retreating as much as he could

“F-Father…” he whimpered, pulling a pillow before himself so he could cover his body “How…”

“Did you do as I asked?” Odin snarled, glaring when he didn’t answer, but shook instead “Answer me, I do not have time!”

Thor flinched “N-No, he said…”

He cried out a moment later, when Odin _slapped_ him across the face.

He’d hit him so hard, Thor fell on the bed, holding his abused cheek, his body shaking when he wept

“You little monster!” Odin grabbed his hair to yank him close, making Thor wail “What did I tell you to do, what did I…”

Odin broke off as he was yanked back, pulled away from Thor so hard he stumbled and fell to the floor. There was no care for his age as he hit the cold stone and he looked up, shocked, to see Loki standing there, covered by a bathrobe but looking so absolutely _livid_ that it made Odin blanch.

“You dare to step in this room” Loki hissed, his green eyes shining, his face white in anger “And raise a hand to my husband? Do you what you have done!?”

His voice echoed in the room, resonating loudly as he looked down at Asgard’s King, lost in his fury. Behind him, holding his scalp, his cheek reddening from the mark Odin gave him, Thor watched, whimpering and crying softly.

Loki pointed to the door “Get out, Odin. And do not come back. You have no rights in this room!”

Odin stared at him, unable to move, unable to form a coherent response, or any response, for that matter. He just could not. He sat there, stunned, for a few seconds before he dragged himself to the closet furniture and used it to help himself up.

Loki didn’t assist him, he didn’t move, he glared, barely keeping himself in check.

Odin hobbled to the door, more disturbed than he let on and looked behind him

“Get out!” Loki yelled “And don’t you ever come near him again!”

Odin was not happy, he was furious and the promise of revenge glowed in his eye before he walked out and slammed the door shut after him.

The noise rumbled in Loki’s room for a long time before it was broken by Thor’s sob

“It wasn’t my fault!” he cried “I did nothing, he …”

Loki turned and walked to him, pulling him into his arms. Thor broke down against him, his thin body shaking with sobs, crying as e held Loki just as tightly

“It wasn’t my fault!” he wept “He said … he did it, I swear, it wasn’t…”

“Hush, my darling” Loki cooed at him, placing a hand behind his head, cradling it to his shoulder “Hush”

But couldn’t, the boy could barely calm down!

He was far too upset, even as Loki sat with him on the bed and held him tightly, letting Thor sit between his knees, his arms around him, his blonde head on his shoulder, he could not.

And Loki sat with him, took care of him, soothed him, calmed him and above all, he promised him.

His green eyes focused on a spot on the wall, rage apparent on his face.

Odin was not going to get away with this.

Loki would not let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OKAY SO REMEMBER HOW I EXIST? Hello, *waves from her depths of nothing*
> 
> See, I have an explanation.
> 
> 1 - I lost my pet, I watched him pass away and that was not easy for me. This is a reason, not an excuse.
> 
> 2 - I have cystic acne. For those who do not know, imagine huge acne all over your face, hurting and stinging. I had taken meds that helped me sleep while they healed them JUST so I could get away from the pain. REALLY SORRY. Will promise to reply TO ALL YOUR MESSAGES.
> 
> I suck, I know


	9. Chapter 9

Unfortunately for him, Loki did not get a chance at immediate retribution. Not because of lack of want, nay, rather because he was needed with his new husband, the young poor child given to him with little to no ceremony.

After Odin had left, Loki had held Thor tightly, comforted him, calmed him down and rocked him in his arms. Thor had wept, out of fear, out of loss and grief. He had cried against Loki for a long time before he was soothed enough to lie back in bed and let Loki brush his hair back till he slept yet again. His tears dried on his face and Loki’s anger hardened against his father.

He longed to go after Odin, grab his skull in his hands and crush it, he longed to hit him, throw him over the highest tower in the palace or hang him by his innards. He wanted to kill him, Loki truly did. Something fierce and hard took hold of his heart and Loki didn’t want to let it go. He wanted to hold on to the anger and use it against the King of Asgard, damning the consequences to hell.

He was furious!  
Not caring what the hell happened, Loki had left Thor’s side, letting him sleep in the bed, before he shot to his feet and strode to the door. He didn’t care if he was in a robe and his slippers, Odin couldn’t have gone far. He would catch up to him, grab him by the stupid beard, twist him around and…

Loki opened his door, only to yelp as he was pushed back by a large and very powerful Tyr. He had time only to blink before Tyr snapped the door shut, grabbed him by the shoulders and pressed him against it, looking into his eyes.

“Do not” Tyr said, his blue eyes looking into Loki’s “If you are going to do what I think you are, do not”

Being manhandled around wasn’t easy and it took Loki a few seconds before he could speak.

And it occurred to him that Tyr was not wearing anything other than a pair of sleep pants. His thick muscles bulged in his arms as he held Loki, torso gleamed with a thin line of sweat indicating that he had been practicing before he came here to –

To do whatever he was.

So Loki had to focus his gaze on his eyes and managed a decent looking glare

“You are intruding into my personal chambers” he hissed “Have you lost your mind?”

Tyr raised a brow “You were going to kill my Father. Have you lost your mind?”

Was he really going to turn this into a contest? Loki wondered.

But he gave him a push, hard enough to put distance between them.

“If you are here to stop me, you know what the hell that bastard has done!” Loki rasped, his green eyes gleaming “He hurt Thor!”

“He hurt him for a very long time!” Tyr hissed back “It does not mean you go out and murder him! It is very tempting, believe me, but it cannot be done. That is a powerful man, none of us can match him. He …”

“Is an intruder” Loki snapped “He snuck into my room without my knowledge and he hurt my husband. You think I will stand for that!?”

“You have to” Tyr said, taking a step closer “not just for your sake, but for Thor’s”

He gestured to his sleeping brother, his eyes flashing with pent up anger

“You think I do not want to rip his insides out for doing this to Thor?” Tyr asked “You think I like seeing my brother suffer? I have to watch, not because I want to, but because I have to. My father is a powerful man, he has many people who are loyal to him, people I need to rule Asgard with a hint of respect that Odin has. If I do something, if I let someone hurt him while I am in the vicinity, it will reflect badly upon me. My future as King is at stake and Thor will only get more hurt”

“What about your future as a brother?” Loki argued “You will let that go over a throne?”

Tyr’s lips thinned, he did not know how to respond for a few seconds, clearly thinking of a way to best surmise what he had to say. And in the end, he sighed and let his arms relax

“I will have my entire life to fix my relationship with Thor” he told Loki “This is for his own good, he will understand”

No, he would not. Loki was sure Thor would remember this forever.

And it showed in his eyes, the disbelief he had. Tyr saw it too and he sighed

“Loki…”

“Do not presume to think for someone else” Loki told him, shaking his head “Thor is a sensitive, intelligent young man, who remembers everyone who had been unkind to him. He will remember you in those same lines and through him, I will think of you the same”

Tyr felt as though he had been hit, the insult was there between them, the prejudice already forming.

Here stood two future Kings, both already locking horns with each other, both of them already fighting. It seemed to be the only thing that the Aesir and the Jotunar knew how to do.

Tyr shook his head “You know me. Through Sigyn, you know…”

“Do not take his name!” Loki growled, stepping forth

Tyr actually took a few steps back, his eyes widening a little at the lethal growl that left Loki’s lips.

“Do not justify your dirty work with my husband’s clean name” Loki told him “He told me how you treated Thor, he told me of your never ending bullying. You have shoved him in the mud, cut his hair off, you think I do not know? And now you stand here, looking me in the eye and showing false concern for the very child you tormented your whole life!”

“Don’t speak to me like that” Tyr warned “I am will be the King of Asgard!”  
“And I will rule Jotunhiem!” Loki yelled at him “Neither you or your father deserve to speak to me like you have! You stand in my realm, you mistreat my husband and think you will leave unscathed!? You will not! I will see to it that both of you get what you deserve!”

His voice echoed in his room, his determination echoed in Tyr’s eyes and he opened his mouth to speak, to tell him of his true intention when it came to Thor.

But he was interrupted.

“Loki?”

The voice was soft, hesitant and spoke from within the confines of his bed. A soft, gentle call, clearly woken by Loki and Tyr’s argument.

Both future kings looked at the bed, then at each other.

Loki was angry. Tyr felt misunderstood.

Loki had power, Tyr did not.  
And it was that power that glittered in Loki’s eyes as he looked upon Tyr, his husband’s friend, and stepped to the side, leaving the path to the door unblocked.

“Leave” he said “Now”

Tyr heard Thor move, possibly to get out of bed, but he wanted to say his piece, he wanted Loki to know.

Yet he could not communicate it, Loki wouldn’t listen. So with a bow, he strode forward neither looking at Loki nor meeting   
Thor’s eyes as his youngest brother parted the drapes to look through them. He did not meet Thor’s surprised gaze and he walked down the steps he had climb up a few minutes ago, no doubt to go back to his room and rethink this conversation.

Loki slammed the door shut after him, making Thor flinch and watch him uncertainly as he locked it, angry growls erupting from him.

When he turned to look at him, Thor froze, thinking last night was a trick, because the anger in Loki’s eyes was plain.

He sat on the bed, praying that Loki had been sincere, when Loki smiled at him. It didn’t reach his eyes, it was not real, yet Thor said nothing.

“So” Loki beamed, his eyes glittering with rage “Breakfast?”

***

Loki was aware of Thor’s stares and it was making him so uncomfortable.

It had quickly become apparent that Thor had heard everything he had said to Tyr, not just the last part. He had heard his impassioned speech, his not to subtle debasement of the soon to be King, Tyr.

What Loki did not understand what whether those glances were a good thing or a bad omen. Because every time Loki looked up,   
Thor would drop his gaze, not giving him a chance to understand why he was so adamantly staring at him.

And Loki feared that if he were to ask, Thor would hide further within his shell.

So, as hard as it was, Loki decided not to say anything and made pleasant conversation with him, keeping his inquiries about how Thor was feeling to a minimum and pretending he wasn’t worried over the fact that his new spouse could think badly of him.

It was gnawing at his insides and Loki did think about stabbing himself, just so he would focus on something else.

But alas, the butter knife would not do him good and Thor would likely wonder why he used it the wrong way.

It left Loki with nothing to do until their meal was over.

But those big blue eyes were focused on him and in the end, Loki had to look back, opening his mouth to speak.

“You do know that my Father will probably have you hurt if you touch him?” Thor asked, before he could speak

Loki blinked at him “Uh … Pardon?”

Thor shrugged and moved his scrambled eggs around with the fork before he looked at him.

“He was not always like this, you know” he told Loki “He turned this way when Mother passed. Balder told me he was blinded by pain and by hatred and grief. They think that he will change, but I fear he will not”

Loki said nothing and he listened to him, knowing he was going to have a point in the end.

“At first when someone insulted him or made him angry, Father would talk to them and have debates where he would convince them that he was right” Thor continued “Now he has them hurt. I don’t think he has killed anyone, but I think if you upset him enough, he might try to – to end your life”

Loki raised his brows, surprised, especially when Thor looked at him

“So please don’t upset him” Thor said, looking at him with those sad, beautiful eyes “I like you and do not wish to see him hurt you”

His surprise turned into warmth and his previous anger began to rest. He smiled at Thor, his gaze affectionate

“I like you, too”

Thor blushed a little and went back to his food “I know”

“Oh?” Loki asked, trying to joke “Do you, really? And how did that happen?”

“Because your eyes light up when you look at me” Thor told him, having some of his eggs “And you smile a lot”

It surprised Loki, especially when he didn’t even know he was doing it.

“Well” he said, sitting up a little straighter “How could I not? You are a wonderful lad”

Thor’s face turned a brighter shade of red and he went back to eating, noting that the tension in the room had faded with a few simple words.

Both of them had a lovely breakfast before them and it was when Thor opened a newly pot ceramic pot that he made a face

“Loki, what is this?”

Loki looked at him, more because of the disgust in his voice and snickered

“That is a part of a traditional Jotun breakfast” Loki beamed at him “boiled fish livers.”

Thor pretended to choke and he put the lid back on the pot, shuddering in revulsion.

“That is disgusting”

Loki smiled and looked at his own breakfast “As per custom, I am supposed to feed it to you, to give you strength and make sure your uterus is fertile”

If Loki thought the liver disgusted Thor, he was wrong. The expression the boy made to that was sheer horror and Loki could barely control his laughter. He pulled his lips inwards and cleared his throat before he pulled the thing over.

“But” he said, still sniggering “since you do not have a uterus, I fear it is I who shall have these”

And Thor, poor unfortunate Thor, had to watch as Loki had those horrible fish livers one by one until they were gone. He ate them as though they were not the food of Muspelhiem itself, and he seemed to enjoy them.

It was the most horrible thing he has ever seen.

For his part, Loki tried very hard not to start laughing, and finished them without complaint.

“Ah” he said, beaming “Delicious”

Thor watched him with barely concealed horror and Loki decided to leave him like that.

He stood, brushed his hands off and headed to the bathroom, intending on washing and going to the Council Room, when he was stopped.

Not by anything bad, nay.

Loki had taken just a few steps before he heard a chair scrape, then felt two thin arms come around him from behind and a big blonde head rested on his nape. He was squeezed in affection and stood there, surprised

“Thank you” Thor whispered, bestowing a single kiss to his shoulder.

Before he could even think of a response, Loki was let go just as quickly as he had been grabbed.

Turning, he saw Thor make his way back to their little table and sit down, picking up the butter knife and starting to eat whatever was left behind.

It warmed Loki’s heart and he tried not to giggle as he went on his way to the bathroom, feeling the remainder of his dark mood dissipate and feeling lighter than he had before.

Thor stayed outside, nibbling and sipping until there was nothing left. He could hear Loki taking a bath inside so he had the room to himself, he could be as ungraceful as he wanted.

Or so he thought

Thor had taken a rather large bite of his buttered bread when a snigger sounded from the side. He froze, thinking someone was clearly making fun of him, yet there was no one in the room.

He looked to the bathroom door, seeing it shut, then he looked to the servant’s entrance and sure enough he found the source there.

It was a small, pale little boy, possibly twelve or eleven years old. His eyes were big and innocent and focused on Thor as the young man ate, with all the grace of a Jotun bear.

Thor, half a roll of bread hanging from his lips, watched him, blinking and trying to find a way out of this, stared right back at him. He was a prince, a consort for Jotunhiem, it wouldn’t do to eat like a barbarian before the staff.

But he was caught now, the boy’s eyes gleamed and he came skipping over

“I’m Halvor” he announced, extending a hand “I am to be your servant”

He smiled at him, his friendly eyes not judging Thor in the least as he stood there, waiting for Thor to take his hand. He had big grey eyes and pale skin, like most Jotuns. His hair was a warm shade of brown and there was pleasantness in his eyes.

Slowly, Thor extended his hand and shook his, biting off as much of the roll at he could and putting the rest down.

“I’m Thor”

“You shouldn’t talk with your mouth full” Halvor said, letting his hand go to walk around the table “My mother used to say it is rude and I believe him”

He started to pick up Loki’s used plates and all the dishes that were empty.

“Used to” Thor said, watching him “She … he is no longer here?”

“No” Halvor said, placing the dishes on each other one by one, invested in his work and conversation “He passed when I was eight years old. I do not know my father. Prince Loki found me in a mound of snow and he brought me here”

He looked at Thor and smiled “You have butter in your nose, by the way”

Thor blinked and his eyes crossed as he attempted to see it, making Halvor laugh, then wiped it off.

“Oh, I cannot do that!” he said, picking up the platters “You must teach me”

“I shall…”

“So, as I was saying, Halvor cut in, his childish voice fast and squeaky “Prince Loki brought me here and for the longest time I didn’t go anywhere without him. Then he had me put into the care of a few scholars so I learned everything I need to. It was a five year course, I am spending my holidays here”

“Oh” Thor said, when Halvor breathed, thank the norns, “How old are you?”

“I’m twelve” Halvor said “But I will soon be a man. When I come back, I intend to serve my lord and work as a merchant”

“You like working with Loki?” Thor asked, handing him the plates he was done with “Is he a good master?”

“The best” Halvor said “He gave me a home and a better life, I wish to serve him as much as I can”  
“I see” Thor said, standing up “He cares for me, too”

“I know” Halvor said, picking up the plates and taking them to place carefully on a side table by the servant’s door. From the same table, he pulled out a rag, closing the drawer he had taken it from, and bringing it over “He wasn’t always like this”

Thor frowned “How so?”

“Well,” Halvor said, coming over to the table to collect all the crumbs and bits “When he found out you two were to be married, he was not happy.”

It made Thor go still “H-He wasn’t?”

Halvor shook his head as he looked at Thor, wiping the table top “He promised to make your life miserable and to hurt you. It was because he was being forced to marry you, he told his father he hated you”

Something cold, solid and horrible settled in Thor’s heart “He did?”

“Aye” Halvor said, giving him a smile “But he changed his mind, from what you say. It means he saw good in you and is treating you like he did me, with respect”

Halvor took one last look at the table, then went to deposit the crumbs on the plates he has set aside. He gave the cloth a shake then put it back where he found it. He turned to Thor

“If there are clothes to be washed or anything you need, let me know” Halvor said “I shall assist you”

Thor gave him a distracted sort of nod “Later…”  
Halvor bowed his head, unaware of what he had done, picked up the plates and vanished the way he came. He left Thor alone, left him standing there, wondering if he was trapped in a horrible ploy Loki was conducting or whether this was real.

He didn’t know any more and the fact that Loki hadn’t told him of his resentment only made it harder for him.

And once again, Thor felt terribly crushed and alone.

***

Loki was completely unaware of what had been done.

To him, the day was as perfect as it had been when he went to take a bath.

Part of this could be attributed to the fact that he had to hurry and head on to the Council, so he had walked out, dressed in a robe so as not to scandalize Thor, then taken his clothes and went back in to change.

He didn’t see the careful eyes through which Thor watched him or the slight flinch he gave when Loki came back out and gave him a kiss atop the head, told him he would be back later, and headed out, leaving him alone.

To him, it was a good day and he was smiling when he entered the Council rooms, beaming at every Jotun there.

“Good morning”

Laufey sat at the center, watching the entire room from his large chair and raised his brows as Loki all but hopped to him, coming to sit by him and grin, yet again

“Good morning, Father” he beamed “How fare’th you?”

Laufey looked at him up and down before he raised a brow “Did you get into those mushrooms again?”

A murmur of laughter swept across the Jotuns sitting on their benches and Loki huffed

“No, just had a good morning” he said “Thank you for deflating it so fully”

He turned to look at the papers before him and Laufey tugged on his hair in affection.

“Alright, what have we on the menu?” Loki asked, skimming through the papers.

There were a series of things that Loki would have to go through, unfortunately and he realized that he would be later than he had previously thought.

Immediately, his mind went to Thor, who was waiting and he thought about sending him a message or something, to tell him to keep himself occupied, if he wanted.

Yet he was given no chance, as the rumbling of the Council soon began and Loki was taken into a whirlwind of laws and rules that gave him little time to think on his new spouse and what best to do with him.

“Is there something specific that has been bothering us?” Loki asked, looking through their agenda “Have there been more looting?”

“Only on the Northern Areas, my lord” Councilman Girt spoke, the aged old man “They say that the refugees from the flooding and landslides have started stealing the supplies sent higher up the mountains”

“Any casualties?” Loki asked, looking at him

“Seven, my lord” Girt said “Mostly those that got trampled as they rushed to the carriages”

Loki closed his eyes in pain and nodded “What – What news of the lands dug up to see if there was fertile soil beneath?”

“Barren, my Prince” another man said “Just like the last two”

Laufey placed a hand on Loki’s back for support. And spoke since Loki didn’t respond, lost in his grief over the state of their realm

“What of those ration stamps?” he asked

Another Jotun from the side spoke “Not enough. There have been more than a few fights breaking out, they keep stealing from the shops. The merchants have called for more security, but the guards are hesitant in hurting people over food.”

“There are nomads that have resorted to eating tree barks and hunt in the wild” Girt added “But game is rare at this time”

“Is there no way to get them more food?” Loki asked, looking desperate

Laufey looked at him “Sadly, unless we have a miracle upon us, we cannot do anything”

Loki swallowed thickly and looked back at the papers. This was not fair. This was the worst state Jotunhiem had been in since   
Loki could remember

People were fighting over food, over homes. They were looting, trying to survive in a world that gave nothing.

There were more infants, left because their families couldn’t feed them, more elderly, left for the wild to take. Loki has seen   
Jotuns selling their children for a chance to get money, he had seen people die, trying to get berries from high trees and losing their balance.

His realm was breaking apart and Loki had no idea what to do.

He had no idea how to stop his people from starving and dying!

What was he to do!?

The heart of each and every councilmember broke when they saw a single tear slip from Loki’s eye onto the papers he held.

Loki exhaled.

“Send an order to the taverns” he said eventually, “Tell them to stop serving food to their guests, for at least a few months. Have them make it for the poor, simple and easy foods. We need our people to eat more than anything else”  
Laufey nodded “As you wish”

Loki looked down at the list before he stood.

“Excuse me”

The council said nothing as Loki walked out, his back straight and proud. He went to the hallway and headed right, to the office he would have when he was King.

His boots clicked on the floor and he walked calmly enough, until he reached the room. opening the thick, carved ice door, he walked in and let it fall shut behind him, then took in the room.

There was not much in terms of personal items, Laufey never kept his personal belongings out for the public. But everything was expensive. There was a desk, made of Jotun coral and crystal, chairs made of bear pelts, lamps that caught the northern lights within them. There were windows that changed shades, walls that changed their patterns. It was beautiful and it was costly.

Loki looked around, taking in the luxury and beauty he lived in while his people starved. Everything was repelling him and as he reached his father’s desk, he growled, picked up a paperweight and hurled it as hard as he could, against the wall, a loud scream ripping from his throat.

His eyes were filled with tears and he sobbed before he pushed a chair, toppling it, picked up some papers and threw them on the floor, watching as they fluttered in the air.

Looking up, Loki was about to pick up something else when he saw Laufey standing by the door, his gaze sad.

“Oh, Loki…”

Loki’s lower lip trembled and Laufey was there in a second, enveloping him in his arms as Loki wept, his body shaking as he cried against his father.

“It will be alright”

“No!” Loki sobbed, his hands clenching in Laufey’s clothes “It will not be, it will never be, my people are dying, they are starving to death!”

Laufey cooed at him, rubbing his back and soothing him.

“Hush, my child”

“It’s not fair!” Loki said “They need food, they need homes and clothes, what kind of king will I be if I can’t even provide that!?”

Laufey said nothing, gently moving him from side to side.

He tried to calm him down, but knowing Loki, it would be something that would weigh on him forever. 

And back in their rooms, Thor was snooping.

Since Loki told him it would take him time, Thor had decided to unpack. There were trunks and boxes everywhere and Thor reasoned that it would be a good idea to get to work and sort everything out.

Loki had told him where his closets were so Thor had no real problem when it came to space.

His mind, however, was another matter.  
Since Halvor has said what he did, Thor did not know what to think

Was Loki cheating him, was he trying to hurt him? Gain enough confidence and then destroy it? it had to be something, people like Thor were not lucky enough to have people like Loki.

It simply wasn’t done.

Chances were that Loki was exactly how Thor thought him to be at the moment; a liar, a deceiving snake who would destroy Thor to his core.

It was probably all a lie, Thor thought as he opened the first box he had dragged to the bed.

He was dressed in his loose tunic and trousers, a heavy coat upon him to keep the cold at bay. His hair was a lovely gold mop upon his head and his eyes looked like diamonds.

But as lovely as he looked, he was still scared.

Thor opened the box before him and looked inside, a sense of nostalgia hitting him when he saw the books he care for sitting inside. His teeth flashed in a grin and Thor pulled them out, one by one, setting them on the bed.

He knew there was a shelf dedicated to him, so he quickly turned and started to set them in it, not worried about what Loki might think at the moment.

When it came to his books, Thor was fierce in his bid to protect them.

He cared for them and brushed away any dust that lingered on them before he stepped back.

All of them fit perfectly and he turned, putting the box aside and picking up another…then another…and another.

And soon, Loki’s chambers were starting to get filled with the belongings of his young spouse, boxes littered the floor, a few rags here and there.

Thor had taken out a few figures and he set them on their dining table, wondering what he could do with them.

He had reached for another box when a knock sounded on the door and he looked up, his face forming a smile when he saw   
Balder enter.

“Brother…”

Thor, in his anger, forgot how much he missed Balder. One look at him and the younger prince ran to greet his brother embracing him tightly.

Balder’s arms went around him just as fiercely and he said the one thing he should have said long ago.

“I’m sorry” Balder whispered, cradling his head “I am so sorry, Thor, I am sorry…”

His eyes were shut and Thor felt a familiar pain in his heart as he stepped back enough to look into Balder’s face.

“I shouldn’t have run” Balder said, guilt evident in his eyes “I should have stayed and helped you, I shouldn’t have run away like a coward, but … but I didn’t know what to do and seeing you like that…”

Thor sighed, looking into his eyes “I know … I know you didn’t mean it, Balder. You think I am blind? Not seeing what is right before me? You took care of me for years, you helped me so much that I cannot even think of how I would ever repay you…perhaps you shouldn’t have run, but it wouldn’t have helped if you stayed…”

Thor looked at the floor, then at the boxes he had unpacked, gesturing to them

“Father got what he wanted” he said “It wouldn’t have mattered”

Balder rested a hand on his shoulder and Thor looked at him, his eyes sad.

“I will still beg for forgiveness” Balder said “Until you grant it to me, with your blessing”

Thor smirked and rolled his eyes “Ever the poet”

Balder grinned, taking the chance Thor was giving him.

Beautiful, noble Thor.

“Ever the heart of gold”

Thor scoffed and turned to the boxes “Your words do me no good, Prince, help me unpack my belongings and I might consider your request”

Balder smiled and trotted after him, looking at everything.

“Alright, what say you?” he asked “How can I help?”

“Take those used boxes to the side” Thor told him “Perhaps they can be used again, we have to look for a good storage space for them”

Balder nodded and went to pick them up.

“Hold it, you cannot do that!”

Both brothers startled when they heard that high pitched yell and turned to see Halvor standing by the servant’s entrance, looking deeply offended. The child stomped over, glaring at Balder and snatched the box from him.

“You, sir” he said “Are not allowed in here. What are you doing? Who invited you in and what business do you have, trying to take my job?”

Thor watched, trying not to laugh as Balder gaped at the child like a fish.

“I – I was just helping my brother…” Balder tried

“No”

Balder blinked “No?”

“Aye, No” Halvor said “Prince Thor is under my care and Prince Loki’s. No one else is to aid him unless he explicitly demands it. So you may go sit on the chair and let me work, or I will be forced to remove you”

How the hell was this child supposed to remove Balder, Thor didn’t know. But the way Balder obeyed, made him realize that this boy was going to be highly intimidating.

Once he got what he wanted, Halvor started collecting the boxes.

“Master Thor, I will put these there and start setting up whatever you ask, but I fear it is time for your lunch” he said “So please join your brother and I will fetch it.”

Thor looked at him, then at the pair of pants he had in his hands

“I am not hungry”

The boxes fell to the floor and Halvor turned to look at him – very slowly.

Thor blinked, just at the glare the boy possessed and rethought his sentence

“I meant I was not hungry then … I am now…” he amended

Halvor nodded, satisfied, before he turned and picked the boxes up again, leaving through the same door he had come in through.

Balder heaved a loud sigh after he left

“Who was that?” he asked “And did you see the glare he leveled at me?”

Thor turned “At you? I thought the flesh would melt off my face when I said no to lunch…”

He shuddered and put the pants he had down.

“I can do this later” he said “I fear he will smite us if I do not eat”

Balder smirked, watching Thor go to the bathing room to wash up.

His gaze went to the servant’s entrance and he realized he was thankful that this boy was here for Thor. It seemed that they were leaving sooner than Balder had thought and that Thor would soon be alone here.

It was a petty act by Odin, leaving with both of them. Tyr had told him what happened and Balder knew this was a way for him to hurt Loki.

Loki cared about Thor and seeing Thor hurt would hurt him.

So Odin had to, the right bastard, he just had to.

At least, Balder thought, Thor would have two friends here once they left, Loki and Halvor  
Balder wished he could say something to both of them and demand that they take good care of him and maybe he would, but right now, as Thor walked back out, as he sat before him, Balder smiled at him.

His blue eyes held false cheer since he knew that he was going to break his younger brother’s heart, because he listened to their Father. He knew Thor would suffer.

Halvor came and served them their lunch with the air of a military commander. He hovered over them, making it extremely easy for them to get whatever they wanted without hassle.

And once Balder tried to give him a little something, he stared at the gold coins in wonder before he threw his arms around Balder’s waist and hugged him

“Thank you, my lord!” he smiled, rubbing his cheek against Balder “Thank you!”

Balder looked at Thor, both brothers had a goofy grin on their faces.

And Balder knew that Thor’s wouldn’t last, neither would his for that matter, because their father was a mean and petty man.

***

Goodbye

The word had killed him

Thor hadn’t expected it, he really hadn’t.

He had thought that they would stay at least a while longer, or at least let Balder stay. Just for a little longer.

But they hadn’t.

Loki hadn’t even returned from the Council, Balder was playing cards with him when Odin has summoned him, through a guard that knew no mercy. He had told Balder that their father was waiting for him by the gates and wished to leave as soon as possible.

Thor had thought he misheard, but the look on Balder’s face, then the pain amplified on Thor’s made it clear that it was true, 

Balder was going to leave him…

Again

Balder tried to explain, he promised he would be back, but Thor still begged him. He wanted a friend here, he needed one!

Balder promised to write, Thor didn’t care, he wanted a few more days, just a few more days!

It took a long time and eventually, Halvor had to come in and help pull Thor away so that Balder could go.

Yet, Thor had run to his balcony, standing there, looking down at the small dots that represented Odin and Tyr – the two men who had ruined him.

Thor glared at them, watched as his brother finally walked out and he felt satisfaction when he ignored them both and pushed his way into the carriage so he could slam the door shut. Odin and Tyr talked to each other while Thor watched, glaring at them.

Halvor had tried to talk, but until they carriage began to move, until they were gone from his sight, Thor stayed where he was, looking at the remainder of his family as they left him yet again.

And since then, though two weeks had passed, Thor barely spoke.

Loki had stayed silent, too but eventually began to talk.

Thor didn’t and it made Loki worry.

Loki had tried talking to him, he had been trying since he came back from his depressive state, to get Thor out of his shell, but all it did, really, was make him even more silent.

Halvor tried talking, so did Loki, yet Thor barely said six words before falling silent again. He was responding to them, he just didn’t talk and it was breaking Loki’s heart, thinking that it was because of his coward father and his inability to talk to Loki properly.

Not that Loki would have talked, he would have ripped Odin’s head off, but that was beside the point. He wanted to make Thor comfortable enough that the young man would open up to him more.

So, he decided to act as though this was alright for him, that the silence didn’t bother him, that at night, when Thor thought him asleep and wept, Loki didn’t hear him.

And thus began a lifestyle where neither Thor nor Loki really talked to one another, but said enough to pass their days without raising tensions between themselves.

A routine formed for them, then.

Loki would get up, while Thor slept on, get washed up and ready for his day with Laufey. He would leave, return for a lunch that he and Thor would share, talk with him until he got tired of his own voice. Then he would leave Thor to his own devices and go to take a round of the city and tend to as many people as he could. He came back around dinner, talked some more.

Then they either played a silent game of cards, read or went off to sleep.

It was the same, every single day.

And though it was a set routine, Loki didn’t really enjoy it

Thor said nothing other than what he was supposed to.

He feared Loki was waiting for a chance to get him. Thor didn’t want to give him that chance so he stayed very silent, sitting there, motionlessly before Loki. When he left, Thor was more animated, he talked to Halvor, they cleaned up the room together, played games and then Thor would help Halvor with his work until Halvor had to go and start work.

It was a boring sort of existence, but it was better than being hurt, Thor thought.

Boring was safe.

Thor sat with Loki having dinner, the both of them.

Thor might not say much since his family left, but he ate enough to appease Loki. And Loki took special care about what he had made for Thor and what he didn’t. He knew Thor disliked fish unless it was fried in thick, delicious batter and he knew that roast held a special place in the boy’s heart. Fruits and vegetables were not Thor’s favorite, but Loki insisted he have them, ordering the kitchens to make a delicious stew out of them so Thor can eat them.

He knew that Thor didn’t like it when someone came in unannounced, so Loki made it a point to knock before entering and always bathed before Thor, since the boy was in love with his tub and could spend hours in it. Only once, when the water was rather warm, did Loki get into their larger bath, that could easily house ten people. They filled it up with hot water, put on their loosest trousers and played around in it. Thor was having fun, aye, but there was a guarded air about him that Loki couldn’t explain.

When Loki had asked him if he wanted to get a late night snack with him again, the boy had politely refused and left Loki baffled. He had tried to get him to play a few games with him, but Thor always rejected it, opting to sit in their room and read or draw if he felt like it.

Loki discovered that Thor’s drawings were beautiful. He made what he wanted in a little sketchbook he had and kept it just for himself. Loki had once been honored when Thor showed him what he was working on.  
It was a flower, Thor made it from memory and Loki was stunned. He insisted on having it framed and put up. Thor had thought he was making fun of him, but when Loki asked a servant to bring him a frame as soon as possible, then set it up in Thor’s area of the room, the younger prince had relaxed.

But he still didn’t talk.

Loki did, he was beginning to hate his own voice.

He told Thor about his day, what he had done, who he had visited and Thor listened, nodding and sometimes participating enough for Loki to know that he was paying attention.

At this moment, as they had dinner, Loki was discussing something that made Thor lift his head up.

“Fimbulvetr?” he asked, his eyes wide “I have heard of him”

Loki blinked, truly not expecting it “You have? How?”

“Mother read stories about him to me” Thor told him “Have you seen him?”

“Oh, nay” Loki shook his head “I have not. My father did, he fought him and pushed him back to the depths from which he had come”

Thor stared at him “King Laufey fought him? Was he the White King, then?”

“Aye, that is what they called him” Loki forked up some delicious, bite sized rolls “But he hasn’t been called that in years. I doubt he remembers it”

“Will he remember the story?” Thor asked, his eyes twinkling “Will he tell it to me?”

“I don’t see why not” Loki smiled at him, ate his roll, then pointed to Thor’s plate “Finish your vegetables. I can see you hiding them behind your rice”

Thor made a face “Do I have to?”

“I’m afraid you do” Loki grimaced “If you want to hear that story”

Thor gaped “That is blackmail!”

“That is life” Loki countered “Oh come on, they are food, you need to have them. You can’t survive on meat alone”

“I can try” Thor argued “Maybe if I …”

“No”

“But then…”

“No” Loki said “Dear, you have to eat them, sorry. Call me cruel, but that is the truth”

Thor sighed heavily and muttered something about the unfairness of life. It made Loki giggle and he helped himself to some of the ale before him.

“May I have some?”

Loki, goblet halfway to his lips, blinked at Thor “Pardon?”

“Ale” Thor nodded to it “May I try some?”

“Have you ever had it before?” Loki asked uncertainly

Thor shook his head “No”

“You might not like it”

Thor shrugged “Maybe, but isn’t that what life is about?”

Loki raised an eyebrow “That’s my line”

“I know” Thor smiled

Loki sighed “Fine – one sip”

He extended his goblet to Thor, who eagerly took it and held it with both hands before he took a sip. The taste was bitter and he made a face before handing it back.

“Maybe I will grow to like it”

Loki chuckled “Maybe”

He took his own sip and tried not to smile when he saw Thor take in all his vegetables and eat them as though they were a punishment.

The rest of their dinner passed without conversation, though Halvor didn’t stop talking once he walked in.

Apparently, it was his last day and he was spending the night with them, sleeping on Loki’s couch. He had brought his things and as he went to put their plates away, Thor turned to Loki.

“My l – I mean, Loki” he said “Would it be alright if – if I gave Halvor a present?”

Loki blinked “You wish to give him something?”

Thor nodded “He took care of me and I wanted to show my gratitude…what – what can I give him?”

There was a moment where nothing happened, then Loki smiled.

“Come, take a walk with me” he said “There are a few shops in the city. I can take you around until you find something that you like, alright?”

Thor couldn’t believe it and he smiled “Thank you”

He turned and went to get his cloak while Loki got his own. They had dressed up when Halvor came back, blinking.

“Where are you going, lords?” he asked

“A walk” Loki told him over his shoulder, “Stay and rest, we will be back soon”

“Of course” Halvor bowed his head and started to set up his bed as both of them left.

Thor was wearing a lovely white, fur lined cloak, with a hood that would go over his head the moment they went outside.   
Underneath, his clothes were casual, a simple tunic, a vest and thick trousers.

Loki, being a King and used to going out more than his young consort, was wearing an elegant tunic, dark green in color, full sleeves that made his arms look graceful, a coat and upon that, his black cloak. His trousers were a little thinner than Thor’s and his boots more slender.

There was a stark difference between them as the couple walked down the halls, heading to the front of the palace where they would leave for the city.

Like the famous rainbow bridge, the Jotun palace was connected to the city with a slim, ice bridge. Thor and Loki decided to take the carriage and Loki casually put an arm behind Thor as they sat. This didn’t go unnoticed but Thor didn’t say a word. If he was bothered, he didn’t show, if he liked it, he said nothing. He just pulled his hood over his head and hoped that nothing would go wrong on this trip.

It was the first time he was going out into the city, after all.

***

“How about this?”

Loki turned and laughed when he saw what Thor held up “Thor, they wash the water closet with that”

They were in one of the smaller, cozier shops they could find. After dinner, most of the shops closed, to save the energy it took to light them up, only a few were open, for the public to go to in case of emergencies.

This was one of them and the owner was sitting and watching them both, honored that the king and consort came to his shop to buy from him.

Both of them browsed various sections of the shops. Loki was looking to buy himself a new keg, since his was chipped, and maybe one for Thor, since the boy needed something to keep his supper broth warm. There were a few designs, paintings of dragons and whatnot painted on them, varnish shining upon their surfaces, but nothing appealed to him, nothing was Thor.

He wanted to give him a thoughtful gift, not something he picked at random.

And it was as he went from corner to corner that Thor had called him and he turned to look at what he had in his hand. And the moment he saw the long handled brush, Loki snorted.

Thor looked at the odd looking brush, then at Loki “Water closet?”

Loki sniggered “The pot, Thor”

He burst out laughing when Thor made a disgusted noise and dropped the thing as though it was a carcass. He shuddered and slapped himself as though trying to get himself free of the infection he had on him  
It made the owner laugh but he said nothing and Loki smiled, finally finding something that they would give to Halvor. It was something the boy wouldn’t buy for himself and Loki thought it an excellent idea, especially since it came from Thor.

Halvor loved Thor and would be unable to reject it.

It was perfect.

“Over here, try these, dear” Loki pointed to a few book bags before them “The one he uses now is torn, he refuses to buy another”

“Why?” Thor asked, walking over.

He looked at the simple looking bags and thought about how they were much better in Asgard.

“Well…” Loki said, walking around the small shop “Not many realms wish to trade with us. We get what we are lucky to and make do with what we possess. We would rather fix old belongings than buy new ones”

Thor did not expect that answer and he looked at him “Truly?”

Loki, who was pacing the shop, looking at what they had, nodded “Aye. It is our marriage that will save us. Already, Tyr and 

Balder have sent ample food for my people. They have given us these…”

He turned and gestured with his hands, giving the shape of a vase “Small pots, they have gold seeds in them. We plant them   
near our crops and not two days later, there is an entire field full of that crop”

“We call them Sustainers” Thor said, looking at a few other things in the shop “They are very common in Asgard, we used them on flowers and the sort”

He picked up a small toy bird and chose it as something he wanted to buy.

Loki didn’t stop him.

“We are using them daily, sending them across the Kingdom so our people don’t starve” Loki told him “And they have given us strange inventions, a – a plough, it was called”

Thor nodded “Aye. Bulls pull it”

“Our bears do” Loki said “It has made farming easier. And then Balder gave us a stone, a heating stone, I believe he called it, to melt the snow and ice around various fields so we can have access to the fertile soil beneath”

Thor blinked at Loki’s cheeks dusted with color and he looked away

“It shames me to stand there like a beggar and accept what is given”

Thor frowned and walked over to him

“Loki” he said softly “You are not a beggar”

“Aren’t I?” Loki asked him “Look at us, Thor, we are nothing. My people were dying, they needed someone else to help them. If I am not a beggar, what am I?”

“Brave” Thor said, without hesitating.

Loki blinked at him, surprised.

“What?”

Thor sighed and reached out, setting his hand on Loki’s shoulder, before he slid it down until it rested on Loki’s heart.

“You are brave” Thor said, looking at his hand “You have the worst wound I have ever seen in someone, yet you find the strength to go out and mend your kingdom, then come back and take care of me.”

He looked at Loki and swallowed thickly

“And I have been – an idiot,” Thor said “I feared bullying, I feared hurt and because I am so used to it, I feared trickery on your part, when all you have done is give me everything you could. I – I thought you were being kind to me because you wished to trick me into trusting you, then hurt me when I least expected it”

At Loki’s surprised expression, Thor stepped back

“I didn’t mean to!” he gasped “I only thought it b-because Halvor said you s-swore to hurt me and didn’t want me in your life!”

Loki frowned “Thor…I would never hurt you. Yes, I was angry, but I changed. You made me change. The moment I saw you, I decided to forgo whatever stupid idea I had in my mind. You and your brothers have been exceedingly kind to me, how could I ever think of hurting you. I would be the worst example of a man, if I did. And if I gave you that opinion, I am sorry. You are a lovely, sweet boy, Thor, I will never hurt you”

Thor looked at him and stayed where he was.

Loki sighed “Is that why you were so silent?”

Thor looked at the floor and nodded.

“Oh, my darling, come here” Loki held out his arms for him

Thor looked at him before he took a few steps needed and went into his grasp.

Loki pulled him close, cloak and all, holding him tightly

“Forgive me for not watching my words” Loki said, giving the top of his covered head a kiss “I didn’t mean to scare you”

Thor’s arms were around Loki’s waist “You mean that? That you will never frighten me?”

“I swear it upon my honor as Jotun”

Thor smiled and rested his cheek on his husband’s shoulder “Then will you stop snoring in your sleep? Because that scares me”

Loki inclined his jaw and a second later, Thor yelped, laughing as Loki began to tickle his sides.

“No!” Thor yelped, jumping in his grip “Loki! I will throw up on you!”

That had Loki shoving him away and Thor laughed at his horrified expression.

He smiled at him and realized that he wanted to give Loki something memorable, something that no one would ever give him.

And after they walked back and after Halvor got his bag, Thor knew what it was going to be.

Halvor embraced him tightly, thanking him over and over, Thor returned the gesture, laughing as the child refused to let go.

Loki shook his head and started to prepare for bed.

Not that they slept, they spent more of the night whispering and talking with each other, telling each other secrets and stories until they eventually dozed off.

In the morning, they wished Halvor goodbye and after that, Thor gave Loki a shy kiss on his jaw, making both of them blush, before Loki had to leave for the Council.

Then, Thor sat at his desk and wrote his first letter to his brother.

He wanted something very specific.

And he would do anything to get it.

***

Loki was exhausted.

The Council meeting was very elaborate.

And none of it was of Loki’s taste.

Apparently, there were rebels forming up north, interested in a civil war. They were recruiting desperate, hungry Jotuns for their war and Loki had to find a way for them to stop.

They needed homes and food, not have their blood shed upon the Jotun snow. This was a time for diplomacy, where violence was the last option. They needed to know that they were going to be cared for.

So, after much deliberation and a throbbing migraine, Loki had decided to renovate an old prison. It had over three hundred cells, both under and above ground. It was abandoned because of serious budget cuts in the last year, now, Loki thought that with Asgard’s help, it could be turned into a housing facility, where those rebels will be offered a place to stay, for free. Loki knew most of them would leave and take his offer, only because they would have a roof over their heads and food in their bellies.

Those that remained would be small in number and easy to deal with.

Of course, this meant more budget cuts to the food and crop department and the import of expensive metals. The Army would have to make do with what they had for another year.

Loki was not looking forward to that announcement.

When the meeting ended, Loki longed to get to his rooms.

Halvor was no longer there, but when he walked in and groaned, he stopped midway when he saw Thor standing there, a grin on his face.

Loki looked at him for a few seconds before he closed the door

“Greetings, dear”

“Hello”

Thor walked over and Loki had time only to blink before he all but jumped on him in a tight embrace, making Loki smile

“Thor, what is the matter?” he laughed “Why so affectionate?”

“Just because”

Something crinkled in his hands and Loki looked at it, seeing an envelope when Thor pulled away.

“I got you something” Thor said “It – It is not much, but I wanted to give it to you…as a wedding present”

He extended the envelope and Loki blinked when he saw it stamped with the royal seal.

“Thor, what…?”

“Open it” Thor said, “Go on”

Loki looked at the lad for a few seconds before he broke the seal and took out the three thick papers that were set inside.

Frowning, he unfolded them and started to read.

A moment later, Loki froze, his heart thudding loudly in his heart.

“Thor” he gasped, looking up at him “What – What is this?”

 

Thor grinned “I had a lot of money saved up in the treasury. I didn’t really know what to use ot for, I thought I would buy a house, but…”

Loki was standing there, his mouth hanging open a little.

“But” Thor said “I wanted to give you something more. I wanted to show you that this relationship is important to me. That I want to make it work as best as I can, so…”

He shrugged and touched the papers

“I bought lands” he said “a hundred acres in Asgard and I had Balder invest in their farming. Now, since they are your lands, since I give them to you, you can plant as many crops on it and bring them over without the extra charge of importing them…so your people can have more”

There were tears in Loki’s eyes and for a second, he couldn’t move.

He was knocked speechless.

He took two steps forward and put his arms around Thor, holding him tightly, unable to speak.

Thor was stunned and slowly put his arms around Loki, freezing when he felt Loki’s body tremble

“Loki?”

“Thank you” Loki whispered, his face hidden against his arms as he hugged Thor “Thank you, thank you, thank you”

He blinked and tears slipped down his cheeks, making him hold Thor tighter

Thor smiled and rubbed his back, his heart growing three sizes because of how happy he had made Loki.

Of course, that was nothing when it came to Laufey.

The man stood there, stock still for a whole five minutes before he looked at Thor.

Thor screeched when Laufey lunged and picked him up, throwing him over his shoulder and spinning around, laughing and crying at the same time.

Loki stood by the side, overcome with emotion, wiping his eyes.

There had been a public announcement the next day and thousands of Jotuns cheered for Thor, shouting their blessings to the sky, taking his name over and over, screaming for his long life, thanking him.

And Thor, the Spare Son, stood above them all, looking down in a state of wonder, shocked at what had happened.

At who he had become.

He turned and looked at Loki, who stood behind him, his diadem upon his head, pride in his eyes.

Thor grinned at him and Loki smiled, twirling his finger

“Turn around” he mouthed.

Thor turned back as beside him, Laufey raised his hands, asking for more cheers.

The Jotuns cheered for the Asgardian.

The Jotuns called him their hero.

The Jotuns would cherish him.

And as the years would come to pass, the Jotuns would see him grow, see him give them more and see him and Thor Odinson.

Their Savior.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So remember how I promised to be better? I suck at it. IT's work, really. They made me editor and it EATS my time! Plus I barely make 180 USD a month! Its hell. I want to quit!


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start complicating themselves

And the next day, three things happened.

Thor was honored with a medal, the Jotun symbol of trust, since he won the love of Loki’s people.

Loki realized that this young boy was going to change his life forever.

And Thrym – Laufey’s love interest and event manager – met another.

***

The room was dark as he stepped in, his eyes slowly adjusting to leaving the bright lights behind him and entering a dark cavern that was his room.

He could sense movement inside, he didn’t know who or what it was, but before he could retreat, since he held the door knob and thought it an excellent idea to leave, something wet and disgusting licked his hand.

Thor shrieked and shook his hand, jumped back, his blue eyes looking around for whatever the hell it was. He looked down, looking at the room which was illuminated by the lights on the staircase behind him and froze.

“Wha…”

“Surprise!!”

Thor swore his soul shook within his body as the room suddenly lit up and what felt like an entire army of huge figures, all but lunged on him.

Someone slathered cake into his hair, someone kissed him on the cheek and there was someone who was holding him around the waist, jumping in an attempt to express their excitement. There was icing in his eyes, hair stuck on his face and Thor didn’t know how to escape this, he seemed to have lost the control of all his senses.

He felt smothered and trapped and his heart was pounding, even as he was held in a tight grip, more cake slathered on his face, pasting his beautiful blonde locks to his forehead, over his eyes.

It felt like a blindfold and Thor tried to pull away, tried to make sense of what the bloody hell and who the bloody hell was responsible for this, but they were not letting him go.

They kept yelling and cheering and pulling on various parts of his anatomy, so Thor had no idea how to escape and begged for a miracle.

And then, that melodious voice.

His miracle

“Alright, you fools, you had your fun, let him go”

There were groans, familiar now that they were no longer screaming. Thor was let go and breathed deeply, eyes still tightly shut as he raised his hands to push his pasty hair off.

But someone stopped him

“You’re hands are dirty”

Then, soft, gentle hands brushed hair out of his eyes and wiped the cake off his face. Thor looked at the beautiful green eyes of his husband and smiled, forgetting that there was an army next to him.

“Happy returns of the day, my darling” Loki whispered, leaning over and kissing his forehead.

Thor’s arms went around his waist and every one cooed when the young, growing Prince, managed to lift Loki a few inches into the air.

Loki smiled and rested his forehead against Thor’s looking deeply into his eyes.

He was taller than Loki now, having passed from his twentieth to his twenty first year. The Jotun food helped, the life Loki had given him helped.

He had been shielded from all pain ever since Loki came into his life, ever since he was given the gift that was Loki’s gratitude. 

Everything Thor did was miraculous, every time he spoke, Loki thought it was poetry. Everything Thor looked at, merely glanced at, Loki bought him. Every time Thor thought about cutting his hair – Loki brushed it instead. Then he braided it with all the care in his heart, then took care of it. They talked, endlessly, about everything. Nothing was a secret between them.

In return, Thor took a great interest in Loki’s world. He dressed for manual labor and shocked all of Jotunhiem when he went to the mines to help out those that needed it. Then he went to help build with the Jotun who were rebuilding the prisons and turning it into a housing facility.

Loki was touched and when Thor came back, Loki was there, a bath prepared for him, he washed his hair for him, he massaged his back. Thor protested, he always did, but Loki couldn’t express his admiration for the young boy.

He devoted himself to Thor and his kingdom just like Thor devoted himself to Loki and his work.

Never had Jotunhiem seen such a consort, never.

Laufey was proud, he was so happy to see Thor working and more importantly, growing. As the months passed, his grief at losing Thrym to another faded, when he saw how Thor was turning into a man. His muscles grew out, his appetite increased. 

There were times Thor could easily polish off an entire roast boar. On those days, despite the glares Laufey got from Loki, he challenged Thor to a contest. When this happened, Loki was he only one in the entire Great Hall, who ate with decorum and neither cheered nor howled.

Secretly, he wished Thor would win.

And Thor did – every damn time.

Laufey was left with a stomach ache and a sniggering Loki. Thor was left with sauce slathered – all over him, really – his face and victory.

But sometimes, when it proved too much, he would groan in bed, curling up as stomach cramps hit him. Loki rubbed his back and calmed him down enough to sleep.

Then he would pretend that he didn’t feel Thor kiss his cheek the next day while he thought Loki asleep, before he headed out to work again.

As the months passed, the crops Thor had grown kept arriving. Because of Balder’s involvement in it, new ones arrived every day. Then cattle, hordes of Yak that were considered to be pests in the wilds of Asgardian mountains, started to come over, then cloth.

Loki didn’t know what was happening, but Thor told him that his investments were increasing by the day. He could get more and more for Jotunhiem.

That night, Thor had held Loki as the man wept in joy.

Because Jotunhiem was growing.

It would survive!

Last year, Loki hadn’t known it was Thor’s day of birth, Thor never told him until much, much later. This year, Loki remembered and he made it a point to show Thor that he did.

He smiled at him, as he held his slender form in his muscled arms, looking at Loki with his big beautiful blue eyes.

“Hoy, there are others, you know!”

There was a combined laughter from everyone who was there and Thor beamed when he saw them all one by one.

Balder, of course he was there, how could he not?

Laufey – the man had given him a present what was purring as it drew circles around Thor’s feet.

Sif, the ever elegant lady, who had her gifts for Thor.

Fandral, Volstagg and Hogun – all of whom had one large gift for Thor, which they had laid on the bed.

And of course, Halvor – he had requested … begged… Loki to let him visit for just one day.

He also happened to be the one who had rubbed the icing on the cake all over Thor’s face.

Loki laughed as Thor turned and looked at them, then was let down before his tall husband.

“Friends” Thor bowed his head just once.

Other than Loki, Halvor and Balder, there was no one he was that close to. Actually, even Balder and Halvor were being left behind as Thor invested all his time on one person.

Loki.

He looked at him when Loki didn’t know, he noted things.

Sometimes, even though Loki was happy, there was sadness in his eyes. Thor knew why he was upset, why he sometimes stared out of the window when he thought he couldn’t be seen. He knew where Loki went thrice a year, in the middle of the night, but unless it was something Loki wished to discuss, Thor gave him his privacy.

Tonight, Loki was trying hard to dampen his sorrow, only for Thor. He was trying to let go of his own pain, whatever it was, to get more involved in Thor’s day.

Tonight, he was living for Thor.

And it was better than the beautiful fur Thor had gotten from the Warriors Three.

“Aye, it is stunning” Thor said, lifting it off the bed when they prompted him to.

He had washed his face in the time it took everyone to settle down, and smiled at the beautiful brown coat of the bear sacrificed to get this.

“I shall treasure it”

Volstagg slapped him on the back “Aye, you will! It nearly killed us, it did.”

“More bilgesnipe than bear” Fandral added “It was very difficult to kill”

“For some” Hogun added “Fandral was safely hidden within his tree”

Laughter followed his announcement and Fandral blushed brightly.

“It was a hunting tactic!”

“More like a survival one” Volstagg countered “You screamed like a wee girl”

“I did no such thing!” Fandral said, the laughter of the others filling the room.

It increased when Hogun reenacted it, curling one leg to his chest as he squealed like a little girl, hands fluttering beside his head.

Halvor was cackling at it and demanded more stories from them.

Servants walked in and set the table and the boy listened as he guided them, putting everything in its place.

“What about Prince Balder?” he asked “Have you ever hunted a bear?”

“Thrice” Balder told him, beaming

They were sitting on the couches and divans set in a small area of the large chambers. There were cushions on the floor and 

Thor lay against one, his head on Loki’s lap once he put down the fur to come over and sit by him. Loki sat on a couch with his legs curled beneath him, running his fingers through Thor’s hair as he watched Balder.

“Once, I remember” Balder said “It was so big I thought it was a boulder. I had gone to rest against it when I heard it rumble. It was like death itself”

Thor smiled a little, then looked for and grasped Loki’s hand so he could kiss it.

Loki stroked his cheek as when he let go, then started to run his fingers through his hair again.

“I walked over, my blade at the ready” Balder went on, looking at him “I can hear the thoughts of animals, and I knew that this bear was the worst, I couldn’t hear a single thought from it.”

Halvor set plates down, his eyes wide as he listened.

“I walked closer and closer to it” Balder said, his voice the only voice in the room, the walking and murmuring of servants only light in the background “I felt my heart pounding, I felt the ground rumble beneath my feet. It’s fiery red hair reminiscent of the flames of Muspelhiem herself!”

Thor smirked as he listened, humming when Loki stopped for a second, prompting him to start again.

The table set, Halvor came back to sit by Balder, listening to him

“What happened next?”

Balder looked at him, his face still as serious as it has been the entire time he told his tale.

“Well” Balder said, giving him his full attention “I walked over to its head, wanting to slit its throat with the one chance I was bound to be given. My steps were slow, my dagger was raised and I kept my eyes on where I put my foot down, lest I got far too close to the beast. I could feel its warmth against me as I crossed over. I could feel its horrid stench upon the air…and when I reached it, I raised my eyes to its face and…”

Loki’s hand stilled in his hair again and Thor smiled at his brother, having heard this tale.

Halvor was silent, Laufey was listening intently and everyone was staring at him.

“And then…” Balder continued, looking around “I realized it was Volstagg”

Thor snorted and Loki huffed out a laugh and rolled his eyes while everyone else groaned at him

“Ah, come on, he is making that up!” Volstagg said “That is not what happened!”

Halvor was giggling and Balder ruffled his hair for him. Sif and Fandral were trying to stop their snickering behind their hands.

“I swear upon my honor it is the truth!”

“I did not look like a bear!” Volstagg said, looking at Loki when he laughed at his indignant expression

Balder laughed “forgive me for pointing it out, my friend, but you look like one now”

Thor laughed at that, because Volstagg truly did.

To protect himself from the cold, the man had worn a black fur that covered his entire girth. Everyone was dressed warmly, but Volstagg truly looked as though he belonged in the woods.

There was more laughter from them before dinner was announced, much to Volstagg’s delight – of course it did not help with his image of being called a bear.

Thor groaned as he stood, then turned and held out a hand for Loki to take.

Loki smiled at him, the gentle, kind hearted man, and allowed his prince to stand him up.

Thor kissed his fingers and Loki smiled, putting an arm around his waist and leading him to the table.

As per Jotun custom – one of the many Laufey made on the spot – the King was to have first choice of everything.

Loki scoffed affectionately and sat by his father, right before Thor and rolled his eyes at him.

But they obeyed their King and watched as he took what he wished to have and talked amongst themselves.

Loki watched Thor take an entire roast of lamb and pick up his utensils.

Thor might eat like a barbarian, but with Balder there, Loki was sure he could eat like a gentleman.

“How are the caves, Thor?” Loki asked, taking a bowl of sweet and sour meat that Sif passed him

“They are moving slowly” Thor told him, “We hit a minor hindrance and I have yet to find out how to get past it”

One of the things Thor loved doing was build and take things apart, to engineer ways that no one would have thought of.

As a six month anniversary request, Thor had asked Loki to let him take classes with the tutors Loki was given.

Of course Loki said yes and a curriculum was prepared for him, letting him choose whatever he wanted.

Thor went right to construction and since then, had helped make the mines safer to work in.

These days, he was busy in turning the caves within the mountains into safe houses. They were not large, but enough to protect most of the capital in the case of an attack. Thor had spent most of last year on them and it was still one of his favorite projects.

“What hindrance?” Loki asked, a furrow in his brow, worry clear in his voice

Once, only once had he heard of the mine collapsing when Thor was inside.

And it had been hell.

Loki had used his magic, there had been panic and chaos as everyone ran around, trying to those trapped inside. The boulders and rocks that fell before them had Thor and four other Jotuns trapped. One of them was seriously injured and they needed to come back out.

Loki used his magic, moving as many rocks as he could, Laufey dug into the snow with his bare hands.

Machinery was brought over, Jotuns pulled on the ropes of a large lifter, pulling and yanking to get the boulders out of their way.

Loki’s heart was racing within his chest as workers went in to help, so slow the pace was agonizing.

And five hours later, when Loki thought he would go completely insane, cheers sounded.

Loki had been sitting with his hands buried in his hair and looked up as one by one the workers came out.

One … two…three…

Loki had gasped in relief and stood from the mound he was resting on, when Thor came stumbling out, a Jotun’s arm around his shoulders as he helped him walk.

Thor’s head was bleeding and he was bruised along the arm.

Other than that, nothing.

His blue eyes were shining, the damn fool had a grin on his face even then.

He turned, clearly looking for Loki and grinned at him when he found him.

Loki took a few steps to him before he ran, letting Thor grab him mid run and hold him tightly.

Loki hadn’t cried, but Thor could feel his body tremble in his arms.

That night, he took Loki’s harsh scolding with grace, knowing it was only because Loki was extremely worried about him. He said not a word and let his husband heal him – for the sake of the Jotun’s own mind.

The worry still hadn’t left him, if his tone and the hint of anxiety in his eyes was anything to go by.

He eased it immediately, just like Loki washed his worries away.

“We have found a gas deposit” he told Loki “It’s not dangerous, but it is flammable. I was thinking about how we can contain it, because it I am right, it is a very, very large chamber and the gas will keep coming”

Laufey frowned “What are you thinking?”

Thor smiled at him “I say we find a way to put it to use. Store it in a few containers and use it for heating. Because the supply seems to be endless, the chamber is deep”

“How do you know?”

“I checked all around it, as best we could and then we went deeper” Thor told him “The chamber shapes the cavern around itself, its marvelous, Father”

Ah yes, another thing

Laufey was more a father to Thor now than Odin ever was. He referred to him with affection, he bought him present’s when they celebrated a father’s special day.

He did nothing for Odin.

He barely talked to anyone in Asgard save Balder and the few friends that occasionally visited, like now.

Balder, for his part, didn’t miss what Thor had called Laufey and though he said nothing, he kept the fact in mind. He prodded his food as he listened to them converse, about how Thor intended to help Jotunhiem.

It was fascinating that a boy who never spoke to anyone his entire life, was so carefree and open now. He thought of others, he always had, but he never got the chance to apply the changes into his life. Now, he was free and Balder realized the loss Odin had experienced when he refused to give Thor a chance.

Laufey had gotten far more than his father had with this marriage.

The talking, murmuring and laughing went on for the remainder of their dinner. Eventually, since the talk moved away from business, everyone started to recall anecdotes, jokes and stories they had gathered through their lives.

Loki made everyone laugh and Thor had them snickering at the stories he told of his work.

Sif and the others regaled tales of Asgard, keeping Odin and Tyr out of it, sticking to things that wouldn’t upset Thor.

Balder talked about his animals and how he was training warriors and war horses to respond to each other. It was fantastic and for the rest of the meal, everyone listed to him, wrapped in his story.

After dessert, there was Jotun tea and a few light crackers, served with cubes of cheese.

They moved back to the couches and cushions, Laufey leaving them to their own devices. The King had other things to do.

Loki knew what it was. He would lie in his lonely bed, wishing for the norns to have Thrym back, somehow, to have him leave the Jotun he had chosen over his own King. It hurt Loki and he was there for his father whenever he needed, but when Laufey shook his head at him as he bade him goodnight, Loki knew that this time, it would be best is Laufey was left alone.

So he stayed with his husband and his friends and brother.

Thor was sprawled on the couch and when Loki came back, after wishing Laufey farewell, he pat the place beside him, lifting his head so Loki could sit there and cushion it in his lap. Once Loki did, Thor beamed and listened to the rest of Balders’ tale.

He barely listened, though.

His mind was on one thing and one thing alone.

Thor had a very specific thing he wanted for his birthday this year.

He wanted Loki to give it to him.

***

“Either I am getting old” Loki groaned as he came to sit beside Thor on the bed “Or that was the longest dinner I have ever experienced.”

Thor, who was reading a documentary on the history in the construction in the Jotun caverns, smiled at Loki before he set it down. He looked at him and raised a brow

“Do you really wish me to answer that?”

Loki scoffed and hit him on the arm before he bent down and pulled off his boots.

“Gods above…” he said “I just want to…”

He broke off when a large hand settled on his hip and warm lips came to mouth at his neck. His pulse raced and he straightened slowly, looking at Thor as the man kissed his shoulder.

“Love, what are you doing?” he whispered

Thor looked at him, blushing “I – I am old enough…”

It took Loki a moment to understand and when he did, he nodded

“Oh…”

Loki knew this day would come, he had no real qualms against it. Thor was a young, virile man, they were married, this wasn’t wrong.

But something was making him hesitate and Loki looked at the floor as Thor continued to kiss his neck.

They had kissed before, a lot, Thor had even slipped a hand beneath his clothes a few times, but just like now, Loki had hesitated and stopped him.

He knew it was because of Sigyn, the possibility of Loki sleeping with another was real.

But it was far too difficult for him to actually do.

Thor’s hand slipped lower, over his belly and Loki suddenly gasped.

“Oh, I forgot your present!”

Thor blinked as Loki all but shot away from him, running to his desk and pulling out a small box. He knew Loki wasn’t ready and that he wasn’t saying it to Thor for fear of hurting him and it made the young man smile as Loki came back.

“Loki” he said gently “You can say no to me, you are aware of that, right?”

Clearly, Loki didn’t expect Thor to be so understanding and he blinked at the maturity this boy displayed

“W-what?”

Thor smiled at him, gentle and soothing.

“I have no say in what you wish to do with your body” he said “I respect you and as such, I respect your decisions. What kisses and touches you have granted me were gifts, meant to be cherished. They were not my right. If I have made you uncomfortable now or earlier, please forgive me. I want this, yes, but I do not want to hurt you or make you uncomfortable.”

Loki stared at him, his mouth parting a little before he looked at his hands.

Granted, he had thought Thor would force him, he really had. But hearing this, seeing this boy act with more honor and respect than Loki himself, it humbled him.

“Thank you”

He heard Thor move off the bed and he felt him come closer, yet he could not look up.

He felt ashamed of himself, felt like he had cheated himself and he had cheated Thor.

It wasn’t fair

A gentle hand rested beneath his jaw and slowly tipped his head up until he was looking at Thor, his eyes vulnerable.

Thor smiled at him, all the love he held for Loki openly displayed his own blue eyes.

“Stop”

Loki blinked “Stop what?”

“This” Thor moved his hand and tapped Loki’s temple “Thinking. It won’t do you good at the moment, there is nothing wrong between us”

Loki blushed and sighed “I …”

He startled when Thor put a thumb over his mouth and raised his brows meaningfully. Rolling his eyes, Loki exhaled.

The thumb was removed and Thor stroked his cheek before he looked at the present.

“So, what is it?”

He took the box and Loki came to hang onto his arm as he opened it and looked at it.

Thor pulled the top of the box open and frowned at the thick golden key inside it.

“A key?”

He looked at Loki, “Are you growing senile, old man?”

He yelped when Loki smacked his head

“You idiot!” he growled, blushing “It’s a key to …”

He broke off and then grinned “Actually, I would rather have you find out what this key is for, all by yourself”

Thor gave him a dry look “So – my birthday present is a key…and a mystery”

“Aye” Loki beamed, kissing Thor on the cheek “it had a nice rhyme, does it not?”

He pat Thor’s cheek and went past him, all but skipping to bed.

Thor inclined his jaw and watched him, realizing that even though he did not get what he wanted, he had what he needed.

He had Loki.

***

Thor woke up early the next day.

As he did every day, he kissed Loki on the cheek and got out of bed. He stretched and sighed when his back popped before he went to the bathroom to relieve himself.

It took him but a few minutes and when he came out, Loki was curled on his side, his mop of black hair spread on the pillows and his face.

Thor couldn’t help but stop and watch.

He knew he was in love with Loki, he had known for a long time. The man was his everything. He was his breath, his strength – he was his life.

Not a day passed when Thor didn’t thank the stars for giving Loki to him, not a moment passed when he didn’t think about him. 

He wasn’t a besotted fool, he was a man in love.

And had yet to have the sentiment returned.

Loki slept late, which Thor didn’t blame him for. He worked later than Thor did, too. So Thor had to be silent as he walked out of the bedroom and into the living area… and came face to face with what Laufey had given him.

They called it a snow leopard. Thor called her Asta.

She was gorgeous, white as crisp snow and eyes as blue as diamonds. She was a kitten, reaching up to Thor’s knee, and hopped over, her thick tail waving as she came to greet him.

“Hello, darling” Thor whispered, picking her up.

She smiled and put her paws on his shoulders, then let him set her head down on him, purring loudly as he carried her to the dining table.

He wasn’t allowed to let her up on furniture, but what Loki didn’t know wouldn’t hurt Thor.

Asta meowed at him, more cat than ferocious beast, and rubbed against his belly, following him when he went to ring for a servant. Halvor would most likely be sleeping, having spent the night laughing and talking with Thor’s friends.

He felt two paws on his back and smiled as Asta climbed on his shoulders, purring and rubbing her face into his hair.

“My, aren’t you a clingy one?”

She mewled and kept her affection going.

It was adorable, yes, but with her size, Thor had to hunch over a he walked and went to the dining table, so she could jump off and onto the wooden surface, before she sat down, looking at him, head cocked to the side.

Thor grinned at her and shook his head, rubbing a hand over her head, making her purr even louder.

“How and why are you so affectionate?” he asked

She replied by rubbing against his arm, coming closer to nuzzle his jaw. Thor laughed at her and spent the next ten minutes, petting her to her heart’s desire.

Of course, he laughed loudly when she all but slumped and fell into an ungraceful pile on the table, head tipped up as she asked for scratches under her chin.

Thor obliged and to his disappointment, she went into a state where she had her eyes closed and her paws moving in the air.

She was lost to the feline norns, Thor could do nothing.

So he sighed and stopped, snorting when she continued before she fell asleep right there, on the table, where Loki would no doubt find her and make Thor pay.

“Idiot” he huffed affectionately.

He stood and realized that no one had come to serve him. Humming, he went to ring the bell again, when the doors to the servant quarter opened.

“Forgive me, Majesty, I have no excuse!”

The sultry voice of a young Jotun came over.

Thor looked at him, blinked a few times before he realized he was about to stare at him. Thor cleared his throat and looked at the table, rather than the Jotun walking over.

He was, without a doubt, beautiful.

He had thick, dull red hair and absolutely stunning grey eyes. They were large and innocent, looking at Thor as though expecting punishment.

Thor was young, his mind was foolish and he began to make comparisons between Loki and this young – younger – Jotun.

He hated himself for it, but he looked at him, smiling, albeit a little strained.

His body was slim, slender and would fit so perfectly in Thor’s hands …

“The name is Loptr, my lord” the Jotun bowed.

He wore loose clothes and showed his shoulders once it dipped off the sides, because of how he bowed.

“Um …” Thor said “Breakfast, but me and Lord Loki. Now, please – you have been late enough”

Thor almost flinched at his hard tone, but he had to. His mind was wandering, he didn’t know why. Loptr only bowed and left, making Thor damn himself when he eyed his hips as they swayed, watched his long legs as he passed.

What was he doing!?

Afraid of himself and his thoughts, Thor fled to go to the bedroom again. He needed to see Loki, he needed to ground himself.

He didn’t care if Loki didn’t want to wake, he went over, crawled on the bed and grabbed him around the waist, hugging him tightly, setting his head on Loki’s chest.

Of course, Loki startled awake and looked at him, worried immediately.

“Thor!?”

He sat up and looked down at him

“Darling, what…?”

“I love you!”

Loki blinked, his body going still

“I love you” Thor gasped, holding him tighter “I love you more than anyone I have ever met, I love you”

Loki looked at him, unable to understand why Thor was so upset about it.

He brushed Thor’s hair back before he kissed his head. And he didn’t say those words back.

Not yet

“Then I am honored” Loki whispered, brushing his hair back “No will you tell me why you are so upset?”

He felt a chill go through him, thinking Odin was here.

Thor shook his head “I am unworthy…I …There is a n-new servant, his name is Loptr and I …”

Loki frowned when Thor broke off, an ember of worry rising within him

“You what, dear?” he whispered “Thor, what happened?”

Thor swallowed “I …”

He broke off, licking his lips and not really sure of what he could say. He might upset Loki, he might do it for no real reason.

Yes, he was looking and admiring him, but he hadn’t done anything.

That wasn’t wrong…

Aye?

“I snapped at him” Thor told Loki “Because he wasn’t hurrying with breakfast”

Loki released the breath he was holding and shook his head, brushing his hair back.

“You scared me, you damn fool”

He kissed his head and Thor lay there, thinking about how he had lied to Loki. Or avoided the truth. Either way, he had done something wrong, he had hidden a fact from him.

Whether this was wrong or right was clear, but he would hurt Loki for no reason. Wasn’t that the grander reason for him to lie – nay, carefully avoid the truth?

Thor didn’t know anymore, but he knew that he was afraid of himself, afraid of the fact that he had not told Loki the whole story and was defending his act, no matter how small and insignificant it might seem.

Yet, he kept his mouth shut and stayed with Loki, with this strange thought on his head.

He said nothing to Loki and led him outside, smiling when he saw that breakfast was already on the table.

The new servant was standing by and Thor ignored him entirely, pulling Loki’s chair out for him. Loki smiled at him and sat down, nodding his head to show his thanks.

Then he turned to the servant before them

“What is your name, boy?” he asked, his tone gentle

Thor sat opposite Loki and reached for the butter.

Loptr came forth and bowed to Loki.

“My name is Loptr, my lord” he said “I started work here today”

“Indeed” Loki said, picking up a cup to put his tea in “Well, since it is your first day, let me tell you that neither Lord Thor nor I are impressed with your tardiness. When Lord Thor wakes, I expect you to have breakfast on the table within the first ten minutes, understand?”

Thor avoided looking at the boy and Loptr bristled

“I was merely ten minutes late, m lord” he said, his tone respectful “I meant no harm, I did not – I was there as soon as I could be”

“As soon as you could be is clearly not enough, aye?” Loki asked, a smile on his face “Please don’t let it happen again. Or I fear Lord Thor will have you put in the kitchens again. That is where you were, right”

Loptr blushed and lowered his gaze, “Yes, my Prince”

Loki nodded “You are dimissed.”

Loptr had his back tense as he walked away, trying not to glare at Thor.

The little bastard, the unwanted child of a tyrant King thought to embarrass him!? Loptr was ten times better than Thor!

He would show it if his current situation permitted!

The spoiled brat! Nothing could happen in ten minutes that would not be done later! And he had to tell Loki and have him scold him, just like a child!

Ridiculous!

He walked off, keeping himself in check and Thor looked at Loki

“Thank you” he whispered “I … I mean for defending me”

Loki smiled “You know I would dear”

He reached over to take a roll when Thor spoke again

“May – May I ask for him to be replaced?”

The desire to look at him was becoming hard.

Loptr was beautiful and Thor’s mind, which knew he loved Loki, was wavering. He kept comparing his youth and exuberance with Loki’s age and his lack of excitement over a few things Thor loved. He wanted to hit himself because of this.

Loki frowned “Thor, it was just ten minutes. I scolded him, is that not enough? Besides he has to be good, Halvor recommended him and you know how that child is”

Thor smiled a little “Aye, but I feel uncomfortable”

Then, he made another mistake

He lied

“He was staring at me”

That, of course, had Loki on alert

“What do you mean?”

Thor swallowed “He makes me uncomfortable, that is all….”

Loki said nothing then, they finished their breakfast and went on to their day.

Loki kissed Thor on the mouth and wished him a good day as he departed for the Council.

Thor kissed him back, stroked his cheek and told him he loved him. He told him he would go through the entire day thinking of Loki.

Loki had rolled his eyes as he headed out, dressed in his royal garbs, and heading to the head of domestic affairs.

The Jotun beamed at Loki as he entered and asked what he could do for him.

Loki told him to get rid of Loptr and have him work in the kitchens, so that Thor was more comfortable.

And little did Loki know that this was going to be a huge mistake for his future and Thor’s.

Possibly the start of a long line of mistakes the young Jotun would make.

But he didn’t know that.

Not Loki

Not yet

***

Loptr was ambitious. He had promises he made to himself, he had heights he needed to reach. There were things in his unsatisfying life that he wanted to change and he knew that if he stayed where he was, nothing was going to happen.

He was someone who reached for the stars, yet his feet were held down by the responsibilities he had, of living in the life of a servant, paying off those who owned him.

Until he paid them, he had no freedom and with his wage, it would take forever for him to give them their money back.

Jotuns were not known for their kindness and he had found out that they wouldn’t hesitate in twisting his arms till they broke. 

They wouldn’t hesitate in hurting him in ways that shocked him.

He had been given a sample, once, a few months ago, he was not keen on another. That was why, half his wages went to the bastards he had to pay off, while the other he kept for himself. I was only luck that Laufey housed and fed all those that worked in the palace, a few years ago, he wouldn’t have even had that ease.

That was it, there was nothing else he was thankful for, nothing else that he could be grateful about. He was trapped within the position he held, destined to lead an unfulfilled life until he paid off the debt he had – and that, he was sure, would take forever.

He hadn’t slept well the night before, which was why he was late when it came to his first day serving the royal couple. Halvor, the boy Loptr had begged to help him, gave him his position, dismissing his substitute and consequently doubling Loptr’s pay.

Loptr had been relieved and he had thanked him over and over, despite the fact that the position was temporary. It mattered naught, Loptr would be good.

Halvor had agreed and told him his duties

Never be late for anything, he had said.

Never let them know how tired you get.

Never think you cannot trust them – they are good people.

Loptr had kept these in his mind as long as he could, thinking about his freedom more than anything, then nodded and eased Halvor’s worries.

He told him he was going to be good, and yet, on his very first day, he was ten minutes late.

He skid into the room, looking at the young consort, fixing his light, fitted clothing as he walked over. He was worried that he had displeased Consort Thor and sadly, he was right

Or so he thought.

The way Thor blushed and bristled made Loptr stare for a few seconds, before Thor turned away. There was something in his eyes, something that made Loptr narrow his eyes and think about.

For a second, it looked like Thor was staring at him, openly gawking.

But that was not right, the prince loved Lord Loki, there was no doubt about it.

Shaking his head, he had walked back, worried that perhaps Thor was irritated by him. He should have been faster, but – there was nothing that could be done now, he should just serve them their meal.

However, there was always an however when Loptr was concerned, as he went back, carrying their breakfast, he was stopped and – to his horror – dismissed.

On Lord Thor’s command.

Loptr had stood there, shocked, trying to understand what had happened, why this happened.

Too slow, he was told, Thor was displeased.

Loptr could hardly believe it. His eyes watered as he watched his new life slip from his hands like sand and he stood there, witnessing the change of servants, the way the others took over what had been his opportunity, his chance!

Loptr was lost and was turned around and sent to the kitchens, to work where he had been before the chance to cruelly taken away, was given to him.

The next two days he spent in thought, he spent thinking about what was going on.

His hair was held back as he cleaned the plates, bent over just enough to hurt his slender back muscles.

This was his routine now, cleaning after the feast those gluttonous nobles had in the palace. It was exhausting, he was tired and slept hungry, just because he couldn’t eat.

It was not right and his mind kept thinking of how he had lost his opportunity, how he had failed.

The third day, he told himself that his opportunity had not been lost – it had been taken from him, snatched from his clutches, robbed.

He was robbed.

On the fourth day, he blamed Thor for everything and on the fifth day…

…he promised himself revenge.

And the plan that formed in his head was truly frightening. It rested upon a single spark he saw in Thor’s eyes and grew with the certainty of adding to it until it turned into a blaze.

And a blaze that would end up destroying everything Thor held dear.

***

“Thor!”

Loki’s voice was filled with laughter, his hands gently settling on the wrists of his husband as the boy led him ahead.

“Just a little more” Thor urged “A few more steps, you will love this, Loki”

Loki had no doubt. There was a grin on his face and he was cautious about where he stepped. He shouldn’t have been, Thor was rather protective of him. it was adorable even as it was a little embarrassing.

But there was little Loki could do when Thor had such strength in his arms and could easily carry Loki here and there, throw him over his shoulder and jump into a pool – sometimes – only once, and Thor got his ear twisted for it.

Whenever Thor thought Loki was tired or if he thought him in danger, often when they were out on their excursions, Thor would simply throw him over his shoulder or carry him in his arms to take away, soothing whatever complains Loki has with a swift kiss on the head.

Ever since Thor revealed to him what he felt, ah three weeks ago, Loki had become … there was no word to describe it, really … more attached to him. He liked to hold his hand more than he used to, he liked to kiss him for a few breaths longer, he liked it when Thor placed a hand at his hip when they read together. It was fantastic, the feeling was marvelous.

And now, Thor had his eyes shut as he walked him forward, towards something that only the young man knew of. His chest was touching Loki’s back, giving him the feeling of being protected, and his hands covered Loki’s eyes so well that the Jotun couldn’t see anything. He had to rely on Thor.

“Alright” Thor beamed “Are you ready?”

“I was ready before you started this game” Loki said dryly, but he was smiling.

Thor laughed and kissed the back of his head

“Alright, then” he sniggered, moving his hands “Look!”

Loki’s grin was wide, anticipating a huge present, but it faded to confusion…

…then horror.

The color drained from Loki’s face as he looked before him, what he was seeing.

His wardrobes, the ones where he had kept his beloved Sigyn’s belongings, were empty, cleaned up, everything inside was gone.

He stood there in shock, not able to comprehend what had happened

Thor’s hand set on his shoulder and he smiled

“I cleaned them out for you” Thor said proudly “Now you have more space to…”

“Where are they!?” Loki turned to him, his eyes wide, his face pale “Thor, where are the things, where did you put them!?”

His hands went to the front of Thor’s tunic, not because of any malicious intent, but because he wanted to ground himself, he wanted answers!

“Where!”

Thor was scare, his eyes wide and he couldn’t speak for a few seconds.

Loki looked mad, he looked possessed!

He gently put a hand on Loki’s cheek and turned his head to the side, showing him where he had carefully placed all the boxes.

He would never get rid of anything without asking Loki.

Never.

Loki’s wide eyes filled with tears and he left Thor in a second, to run to them, sobbing loudly. His voice broke as he fell upon them, holding the box that held Sigyn’s clothes close to him. He was trembling and whimpering, counting every single thing he had saved.

It was heart breaking.

And it broke Thor’s heart into a thousand pieces.

Not only because of how he had hurt Loki, that was painful, seeing this strong, powerful man, be reduced to a whimpering nothing over a few items.

Mostly because he realized, in that moment, that no matter what he did – Loki would never love him.

Thor felt tears in his eyes and he breathed heavily for a second before he looked away, not wanting Loki to see. Not that Loki would, he was obsessed with Sigyn’s belongings.

Thor licked his lips, felt his control breaking and headed to the door, leaving as quickly as he could. He heard Loki call after him, but he didn’t stop.

Thor ran, he gave in and ran down the tower steps, going as fast as he could, as far as he could, until his legs burned, until the palace was behind him, until he was in a secluded garden, until he couldn’t breathe.

He fell on all fours, his face red, panting heavily. Hands in the ice, he looked at the white beauty before him before he closed his eyes and looked away. Thor sat back on his knees, his eyes shut. His hands clenched in the snow, leaving scrapes where he had gathered it up.

Above him, the clouds began to gather and Thor tried, he tried so hard to keep himself from breaking.

But he couldn’t

And like his heart, the rain soon started to fall, fast and hard, not even turning into snow. It drenched him completely, he was all but drowning because he couldn’t breathe. He just couldn’t.

His body shook with a sob and Thor doubled over, bowing in his pain, hands over his face as he settled his forehead on the snow, crying

He was wet and slowly, the air around him became unbearably freezing. His fingertips were turning blue.

Thor wailed and a crack of lightning went through the skies, making everything brightly white. The thunder was loud enough to shake the palace.

It was beyond freezing, Thor felt his body go numb, he felt the cold, hard wind roar above him, blinding him. He couldn’t see, he couldn’t feel. It was a thick sheet before him, smothering him, increasing his pain.

He felt his hair, wet from rain, start to freeze and he tried to move, perhaps to stop the rain, but it was out of his control right now, driven by his pain and nothing else.

Thor couldn’t breathe, his grief started to mingle with his panic as he tried to move, as he tried to find a way out of this, he tried, tried to damn hard to control it.

He couldn’t.

Thor, drenched in the water, assaulted by the freezing hail, knocked over by the cold, merciless wind, crawled as far as he could, his fact tormented as the storm only got faster and faster…

The edges of his vision turned black, Thor couldn’t do anything.

He thought he heard a voice call him, he thought he heard him.

But before he could contemplate upon it…

He lost the battle against his own creation and fell into the snow, unmoving.

***

The storm was still thick, Laufey could see it as it rain and hail hit the glass windows of his room. It had come out of nowhere, started so quickly his people barely had time to find a way to safety. One second, everything was calm and the next, hailstones the size of coins were slamming against his window, attempting to break through.

Laufey had barely managed to close the window he had opened, then looked down at the large pieces of hail that rested behind him. They were hard as rocks and he went to sound an alarm, telling his people to go into their homes.

When he came back, Loki was in his room, his eyes wide and shocked.

He had told him that Thor had cleaned his closet and moved Sigyn’s belongings. He had told him he broke Thor’s heart and he couldn’t find him.

And he was terrified of losing him.

They had tried to go out, tried to find him but the wind and sailing snowflakes were so harsh they had to come back.

Now, Loki sat biting his thumbnail as they waited for the storm to fade. But it wasn’t and Loki thought it would last forever. 

There was a fire going, something rarely done in Jotunhiem, exuding warmth but never melting the ice.

Loki stared at it, trying to find a way to get to Thor without waiting anymore.

He needed to get to him, he had to!

Gods, if Thor was outside, Loki would never forgive himself, never.

He blinked and was startled as the tear that fell from his eyes, looking at it as it landed on his hand.

Laufey looked at him when Loki sniffed and sighed.

“Oh, Loki…”

The blue eyed King stood and walked over to his son.

Laufey was well built, muscular and huge. Loki had a slim build, like Farbauti, and Laufey felt extremely protective of him.

“Come here”

He sat next to him on the couch Loki occupied, gently pulling him into his arms. Loki let him and it scared Laufey because his son never appeared weak.

Now, he looked like the child Laufey had held when Farbauti passed.

“There, there…” he rubbed Loki’s back, kissed his hair “It will be alright”

Thunder rumbled in the distance and Loki wiped his eyes.

“It’s all my fault” he whispered “he is gone because of me, I did this. I swore never to hurt him and I did. I don’t know what to do”

“This is not your fault…”

“It is!” Loki sat up, cutting Laufey off before he could say anything “He did something sweet for me and I reacted so badly that I broke his heart. Yes, they mean a lot to me and I don’t want then gone, but they were just things! Thor is a person and I broke him, I broke his heart!”

Laufey watched his son, a heartbroken expression on his face as Loki blamed himself.

“He just wanted to do something good and I destroyed it!” Loki lowered his face into his hands “I destroyed it…”

Laufey sighed sadly and rubbed Loki’s back, giving him the support he needed.

They stayed silent for a while, the only sounds were of the thunder, rain and hail, the fire and Loki’s sniffles.

It was heart wrenching.

Laufey kissed his son’s head and pulled him into a warm embrace when the doors were knocked upon and opened.

The King felt his heart stop when Thrym entered, looking grim.

There was a wedding band on his finger, testament of how he was never going to be Laufey’s. Jarnsaxa, the Captain of the Guard, had that honor.

Thrym walked over, having heard of what happened. His thick hair and warm eyes made Laufey stare at him until the man looked at him, to which the King looked away, comforting his son.

“Oh, Loki…” Thrym whispered, same as Laufey “I just heard. They will find him, he will not have left in this storm, he is possibly still in the castle?”

“Then why…” Loki whispered “Can’t anyone find him?”

He turned his head to look at his uncle

“I can’t lose him, I have lost everyone, I only have Thor and the two of you … If I lose anyone else, I will surely go mad”

Loki’s voice was thick, close to crying.

“I need him to be safe, I need him back in my arms”

Thrym wiped his tears away and stroked his head “Let the storm pass, we will find him. I will go out with you, so will your father, right, Laufey?”

Laufey blinked, having rarely be addressed by his name and never by Thrym!

It made his heart jolt and he nodded

“Aye, of course”

Thrym gave him a smile and then squeezed Loki’s shoulder “See? Your father is the best tracker in Jotunhiem. He once tracked Farbauti right into the forbidden forest, did you know that?”

Aye, Laufey remembered.

They had been an argument between him and Farbauti. Laufey had accused him of making eyes at another guard, Farbauti had denied it. Laufey had been furious, he was jealous, young and in love, so he had done the worst he could.

In his rage and jealousy, he slapped Farbauti.

He regretted it instantly, his face had been a mask of horror, just like Farbauti’s.

Laufey had taken a step back and Farbauti cowered from him. He was frightened.

Laufey didn’t know what to do, he couldn’t act, and in that time Farbauti had turned and run.

Laufey wanted to go after him, but Farbauti was too fast and in his naiveté, Laufey had let him go, thinking he needed space.

Farbauti got lost in the dark forest, aptly named the Forbidden Forest, because of the creatures that lingered there. That night, a howl had ripped through the silent Jotun skies and Laufey had known.

Somehow, he had known that it was his Farbauti.

There had never been a worst fear that Laufey experienced, taking his spear and his men, going right into the forest.

Thrym had been young and watched as the Prince went to fetch his brother.

Laufey never told him the truth of why Farbauti had run away, Thrym still thought him a hero ever since he had carried Farbauti back, bleeding and looking like a character right out of a novel.

He didn’t know that it was him who had caused all this.

To this day he thought Laufey was a perfect husband.

Laufey hadn’t bothered correcting him and he didn’t do it now.

He simply rubbed Loki’s back until his son felt calm enough to show them his face.

His cheeks were flushed, his eyes slightly red.

“I don’t know what to do” he whispered “How do I find him, what do I say?”

“I fear” Thrym said “that these are questions only you can answer”

He brushed some of Loki’s hair back.

“Just stay calm, he will be back.

Loki nodded and agreed.

Of course, Thor will be back, why wouldn’t he?

He told Loki he loved him, he had to be back.

Right?

***

Loki had started feeling just a little calmer as he sipped the herbal tea Thrym had brought for him when the doors opened.

All three of them turned to see Thrym’s husband, Jarnsaxa, walk in, looking windblown and tired.

“We found him” he said, his voice deep, his amber gaze fixed on Loki “But I fear the news is dire”

Loki felt the color drain from his face and he stood slowly, his knees weak.

“What – “

“He was covered in snow and was frozen half to death” Jarnsaxe said, his voice and expression grim “You best come with me”

Loki had to hold Thrym’s hand tightly so he didn’t pass out right there, and took him along, Laufey on their tails. His heart was pounding in his chest, he was scared out of his mind, unable to think.

All he wanted was Thor to be alright, he would never be able to take it if he wasn’t!

His boots clicked on the floor as they went from hallway to hallway, until they reaching the healing wing. Loki thought he would lose his balance and fall when they finally entered.

He was right there, before him, as though evidence to what Loki had done.

His skin was nearly grey, his hair frozen, his fingers blue.

A sob escaped Loki and he ran forth, only to have Laufey stop him

“No!” Loki struggled “I can’t lose him! I can’t lose him!”

He was pulled against a strong shoulder, muscled arms going around him as Laufey pulled him into his arms, holding him close once more.

Loki cried into his shoulder, unable to look as three different healers worked on Thor. They moved about frantically, moving fire and warm furs over to him. They needed to get him warm.

They had to.

Thrym bit his lip as he saw the young man, already in so much pain, lay there, unmoving.

His lips were blue, too, the very ones Loki was free to kiss. His feet were cold, his entire body was cold, he was half frozen!

Loki didn’t know what to do and he composed himself, forced himself to calm before he pulled from Laufey and went to Thor.

His chest hurt, his throat closed as he stopped beside him, raising a hand to gently, oh so tenderly, touch his hair.

It was hard, coarse, because it was frozen.

Thor had been drenched, his clothes thrown on the floor.

Licking his lips, Loki sat on the edge of the bed and placed his hands on either side of Thor’s face, holding it in his hands. He shut his eyes and started to whisper.

Soft, gentle words and prayers he spoke, willing magic to spread from his fingers into Thor, into his husband’s very skin.

He needed him to be safe, he had to be!

Because if he wasn’t, Loki was going to lose his mind.

Loki did not know many healing spells, he let the healers work on them, but this was something that he had been taught when he was young, this he could do. All he needed to do was focus, all he needed were a few minutes.

Loki felt his palms get warmer, he felt his spell seep into Thor, protecting him, finding life inside him and letting it spread, letting it get stronger.

He needed him wake up

If only for a moment

Laufey and Thrym watched, Jarnsaxa right behind them, staring.

All three of them prayed that Thor would be fine.

Thrym had unconsciously moved closer to Laufey and the man put an arm around him in support. Neither of them really knew, but both of them felt better.

Jarnsaxa noticed, but for the moment he said nothing.

His black hair shined in the night, short cropped and a serious cut, just like his personality was. His eye glinted but he remained silent.

Thrym would answer him later, he was sure.

He would have stared longer, he would have perhaps made a move to get between them, in fact, hews thinking about it.

Until both Laufey and Thrym tensed when Loki gasped loudl, jumping back from the bed.

“Loki, what…?”

Loki ignored him and ran, heading to the healing wing doors

“I need help!” he yelled, heading to the right “I can’t do this!”

His eye were wide as he ran, his face terrified.

He couldn’t do this on his own

And as much as it killed him to say it, he needed help.

He needed the one man he hated most.

He needed Odin


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I QUIT MY JOB! NOW I CAN WRITE WHENEVER I WANT!

Odin arrived in Jotunhiem with a flourish that had yet to be rivalled. Had Loki been in a stable state of mind, he might have admired it, perhaps. But as it was, Loki could only glare in silent rage as the King of Asgard, the most respected man in the nine realms, walked through the show and ice three days after he had been called, three days after his own son was in peril.

The palace healers had worked day and night, one after the other, to keep Thor alive, just enough for him to be revived. Had they not done so, Loki would have been a widower twice in the last few years. He himself exhausted himself, using what little magic he knew to sustain the life of his husband.

And yet, Thor was still, not moving, barely breathing. There was nothing more frightening to Loki than to wait there, hoping that he would make it, while he did the bare minimum. This was his fault, this was all Loki’s doing, no one else’s.

And he knew it, but as angry as he was at his own foolishness, he was far angrier at Odin, who walked in as though this was a diplomatic mission.

Oh, how Loki wanted to smite him, how Laufey wanted to do it too!

There they were, killing themselves as they tried to save his son and here was Odin, looking every bit a decorated harlot as he walked forward, studded with gold and primped to the fullest.

He was riding a magnificent steed, from which he dismounted, as both Laufey and Loki stood at the palace steps, watching him. Loki could sense the rage in his father as well, Laufey was not happy with the performance that the King of Asgard had exhibited, but for now he could do nothing.

They needed Odin, needed his power and were forced to greet him as though nothing was wrong.

“Ah” Odin beamed as he walked up, clapping his hands together “How have things been, then?”

Loki could have gaped as he a little less control over himself. He would have done a lot of other things too, but that was something he kept in his mind – for now.

The need to strangle Odin was making his hands itch.

Laufey knew, from the fire in Loki’s eyes, he knew how much his son wanted to end Odin. It was his signal to take control.

“Majesty” he said, his voice low so as not to let any of the anger he currently felt slip “your son – he …”

“Aye, yes, I got your letter” Odin said “Has he not woken, yet?”

Laufey felt like slamming his fist into Odin’s face and for a second, it showed on his face

“Nay, Majesty” Loki said, his voice smooth and devoid of any emotion “He lies there without moving. You must help us, there is no one else”

You rat’s rabid ass…

Odin nodded, false concern in his face “Take me to him”

And suddenly Loki was unsure. He had waited for Odin to come save Thor and now that it was happening, he feared there was a hidden agenda in it.

There had to be something, Odin wasn’t kind! He wouldn’t willingly help his son….

Would he?

And suddenly, before Loki could further think upon it, Laufey had taken over, whisking Odin away.

Loki stood there, wrapped in his uncertainty for a few seconds, before he went after them, listening to them talk.

It was strange, how Loki could swear he saw a hint of either concern or remorse in Odin’s mean eye. He told himself it wasn’t true, Odin felt no remorse, he had no concern for Thor.

He knew it, Laufey knew it, too, but Loki saw his father’s soft heart crumble beneath Odin’s words as the monster King spoke, he could see his broken heart listen to the pleas Odin had.

Loki rolled his eyes and crossed his arms, picking up his pace.

Laufey could believe Odin all he wanted right now.

The moment he was done, Loki was kicking Asgard’s king out.

Odin was not welcome here.

And Loki was going to make sure he knew it.

***

He woke to pain.

It nipped and bit all the way down his body, starting from his nape and going lower, became harder, harsher, making him whimper.

He shifted, trying to find a way to soothe his suddenly burning skin, but he was held back from it, his hands were pushed down.

Voices spoke above him but with the beating off his heart and the pain rushing through his system, he couldn’t understand a word.

There were deep baritones, then a slightly higher pitched voice.

There were gentle touches, someone brushed his hair back.

Even that hurt and Thor tried to move away but he was too weak

Too broken.

Everything hurt, he was stinging everywhere. It felt like he had slept on ice for days killed his body and was now suffering through its revival. It was terrible, he wanted it to stop!

Another whimper escaped his parched lips and something skid in the distance. A few moments later, a hand rested on his head and Thor hissed, finding relief in that touch.

“This will be hard”

Loki, who had a hand on Thor’s head, looked up at Odin

“He is in pain” Odin’s voice was grim as he held Thor’s wrist “We shall need healers here, as soon as possible”

Loki nodded and looked to his side.

Before he could speak, three Jotun healers walked over. They were waiting to assist Thor, the young man who had single handedly changed so much in Jotunhiem.

Loki wanted to stay, he wanted to hover but he was told to step back and all he could do was watch. Odin had been working on him for the better part of an hour.

Laufey had wanted to stay but his duties as King and ruler called to him, leaving Loki alone, watching his young husband fight the battle for his life.

Loki felt a thin sheen of tears in his eyes and he blinked them away as Odin instructed a healer to bring some concoction or the other.

Loki felt a need to write to Helblindi, let him know how much he needed him. They hadn’t talked since Loki wed, the risk of being caught by Laufey was too much.

Loki felt a desire to rush to Thor’s side, take his place if he could. It was far too painful to watch this, far too harsh to see.

He looked away when he heard Thor give a cry, lowering his forehead into his hand.

What had he done?

What had Loki done!?

He sniffed and blinked, feeling his eyes relieve themselves of the burden of his tears, watched them fall at his feet.

He made not a sound, he didn’t wail or weep.

He stood there, head lowered in shame, eyes welled with tears. This was his fault, this was all his fault! What had Thor done other than shower Loki with love? And this is how Loki repaid him? By over reacting, hurting him, making him freeze himself half to death!?

Was that what Loki stood for!?

And yet, that is what he had done.

Loki sniffed and lifted his head, running his hand down his face as he looked at Thor.

Odin was by his head now, holding it and whispering spells to him, his hands glowed a bright gold, his eye focused on his son’s face.

Thor was in pain, but there was a gentle touch upon him, brushing his hair back, a voice whispering to him.

He would be fine, it said

He was going to be just fine.

And it was that touch, that voice and those healing spells that rolled upon him over and over that ultimately made Thor open his heavy eyes.

He had expected Loki to be there, expected his voice and eyes looking at him.

But what he saw, who he frowned at, was no one other than his own…

“Father?” Thor whispered, his voice hoarse “what are you…?”

“Hush, child” Odin touched his cheek “Do not speak, not right now. I will explain everything later”

Thor swallowed and looked around, hissing and whimpering when he felt his frozen limbs move

“It hurts…”

“I know, Child”

Odin’s voice was gentle and for the first time in years, Thor felt no need to cower and hide. He felt ne desire to run.

Or perhaps because he was so tired and it was just easier, Thor listened and closed his eyes again. He didn’t move, it hurt too much and slowly he felt Odin work the healing spell over him, felt him calm down under the spell and felt him fix him.

Thor didn’t know when, but he fell asleep soon after and half an hour after that Odin looked up at Loki, who stood in the corner.

“He is well” Odin whispered, so as not to rouse Thor “When he wakes, he needs sustenance. It has to be hot and I will stay here, make sure…”

“No”

The temperature in the cold room dropped faster than the healers’ hearts.

Loki had spoken, looking up at Odin, his eyes tinged pink, his mouth set in a determined line. He was grief stricken, one could easily tell by the lines around his mouth, the circles beneath his eyes.

He was in pain.

And he was done with being polite.

Odin slit his gaze as Loki looked at him, surprised, as though Odin was acting irrationally.

“Why do you need to stay?” Loki asked, looking just a little insane “You were called to heal him, not luxuriate. So if the job is done, please leave”

Odin had never faced such insolence before and he didn’t take kindly to it. But at the moment, Loki didn’t care. He wanted him gone, he wanted to be the only one who Thor looked to the way he had looked at Odin.

Because the moment Thor had spoken to Odin, Loki swore, he would swear till his dying day, that there was hope in that boy’s eyes. There was a glimmer of anticipation, that maybe, just maybe his father had come back to him.

And Loki wouldn’t tolerate it; Odin would only hurt Thor again.

So despite the fact that Thor was in this condition because of him, Loki was going to make Odin leave. There was no way that monster was going to stay here.

He knew this concern was fake, even if Thor fell for it.

But it would be a challenge, he could already tell.

Odin was not happy with this

“Do you know who I am?”

Loki sighed, burning in jealousy, writhing in pain “Yes, of course I know who you are, Odin, cease asking stupid questions. I know you are a monster, who came in here three days after I begged you to come and save the life of your own child, I know you are a monster who will willingly play upon the vulnerability and hope you see in that boy’s eyes. You will exploit him, you will break him apart and you are a fool if you think I will allow it”

His voice shook with grief, with the thought of being rejected but Loki didn’t back down. His face stained with tears, his body shivering from exhaustion.

“So just go” Loki said, shaking his head as though it was the simplest thing “Go away. Leave him be, he is much happier that way”

The level of insult that Loki had laid upon Odin was so thick that everyone was shocked. No one has ever spoken to the All Father like that, no one!

Realms had gone to war for less.

Yet Odin stood there, assessing the situation.

To press and stay would give him the joy of seeing Loki writhe and it would give from him the chance to control and manipulate Thor as he wanted.

But to leave…

Oh, but to leave would give him the time he needed to manipulate Thor from afar, to control him as he saw fit. There would be no way Loki would be able to stop Thor from going to meet with his father, no.

Thor was going to be Loki’s weakness.

And once Odin had him by the throat, he would crush the insolent Jotun.

Yes, the second was far more appealing of the two.

Loki was broken when Thor was hurt, Odin could only imagine the pain that he would feel if Thor himself betrayed him.

Yes … Odin was going to make sure of that.

He was going to take everything from Loki

And Thor was the one…

Who was going to do it…

~~~***~~~

Something cracked loudly outside and blue eyes flashed open.

There was silence all around him, not even the sounds of his troops were there to comfort him. There was sound of silence, of death and burden of a betrayal upon his shoulders.

He blinked, felt the sting of his shed tears in his eyes, frowning before he rubbed them again. He could see Halvor on the floor, covered in his rugs and things, he could see the candle at the end of its life.

Pushing himself off the bed, his bright blue eyes surveyed the tent, making him restless for some reason. He knew what was wrong, he just didn’t want to admit it.

Thor’s form was strong, heavily muscled, but right now, he felt weak and broken. He felt his bones creak, his back break as he slipped out of bed, set his bare feet on the ground.

He was a warrior, yet he was the weakest of the weak. He was nothing.

Not bothering with shoes, Thor walked over to the candle, putting it out before it wasted. It was almost dawn, anyway, he would save it for tomorrow.

For his last night here before he went back to Asgard.

There was no reason for him to stay here anyway. The one reason he had hated him now, Thor was sure.

Unconsciously, he touched his chest, knowing that there was a scar there, left by him, the one whose name he was not worthy of speaking or thinking, except when he was at his lowest.

Just his name was enough to make him feel as though something was important inside him.

Just the name

Thor scoffed – it was all he had anyway.

The candle extinguished, just like all his hopes, Thor turned and headed back to his lonely bed, pretending he wasn’t shattered into a thousand pieces, pretending that he was alright.

He wasn’t – and as he got into his bed and pulled the covers up, he turned to his side and closed his eyes.

“Goodnight, Loki” he whispered “Sweet dreams”

~~~***~~~

“Goodnight, Thor” he whispered “Sweet dreams”

Loki pulled the covers up over Thor, watching him sleep. True, he hadn’t woken ever since those few heart wrenching seconds when he was with Odin, but Loki pretended that he had, he pretended that he wasn’t breaking into a thousand pieces, pretended that he was alright.

Odin had left, much to his shock, not a word said after Loki’s debacle.

Loki had become focused on his leaving, he had become irrational. No doubt, he was going to hear it from his father the moment Laufey got the chance. But for now, he felt good, for now, he was satisfied at getting what he wanted.

Now, he could start on the path of making amends.

There had to be a way, Loki would find it and he would use it to make it up to Thor. He could not stand the thought of the boy being in pain because of him.

He looked at him now, his golden hair soft once more, his skin warm. Whatever Odin had done had worked and that only added to the rage Loki had against him. Everything Odin did would infuriate Loki, everything he never did already stoked the flames of his rage whenever he thought about it.

Thor had done nothing and he was hurt by everyone, no one spared him.

And here was Loki, thinking that maybe he was different, that maybe he had a way to get Thor to believe that he was more than what he thought when they wed. And for a long time, Loki had made him believe, he had made him feel as though he mattered.

But now he was no different than Odin

And he hated himself for it.

Loki sighed softly, looking at the boy lying before him.

He was so innocent, so sweet and Loki had broken his heart.

He raised a slim hand and placed it atop Thor’s head, he brushed his hair back, stroked his forehead before he realized that Thor might just wake.

Pulling his hand back, Loki realized he was terrified, scared to death of what would happen when Thor woke and demanded to see him.

Or worse…

Didn’t demand to see him

Loki didn’t know which was worse, but he knew that right now, as much as it pained him, he had to leave Thor.

They told him that he had to stay here over night. The healers would watch him, he wouldn’t be hurt, so Loki had no reason to delay his departure.

Yet, delay he did and Loki exhaled again before he looked at Thor, his chest constricting

“I’m so sorry” he whispered, soft, full of sorrow.

Loki stepped back from Thor, watching his peaceful, sleeping form. he stayed for as long as he could before he turned away, walking away from the bed, then nodding to the healers. He expressed his gratitude before he headed back to his bedchambers.

His lonely, empty chambers.

All because of him, because of his fault.

All because of his stupidity.

Loki didn’t burst out crying, but his eyes were shining the entire way back.

He kept his head lowered his shame, rubbed his arms as he walked, his cloak billowing behind him.

And because he had his eyes lowered, he never knew that there was someone in his path.

“My lord!”

Loki looked up and blinked when he saw Halvor, right there, before him.

He looked taller, that was the first thing Loki noticed, and he looked as though he was about to give Loki a thorough scolding.

But when he saw Loki’s face, his intention to chastise dropped and he walked forward, no station between them, to put his arms around Loki and embrace him.

The few guards stationed close by averted their heads.

Loki stood with him, his eyes wide, his arms by his sides.

Then slowly, hesitantly, he swallowed before he spoke

“What are you doing here?” Loki whispered “Your schooling is…”

“I heard Thor got hurt” Halvor said, his voice muffled by Loki’s fur lining “I had to come back”

Loki closed his eyes “It’s all my fault…”

“I know” Halvor said, tightening his grip “Now let it out, I know you have a stupid habit of holding it all in”

Loki gave something between a laugh and a huff of grief.

Then, right before Halvor, Loki squeezed his eyes shut and lifted his arms to embrace him back.

The few guards, the very ones who had turned away for privacy’s sake, turned on their heels and started to walk away, a little faster when they heard Loki’s barriers break and heard the flood of grief that broke through.

They said not a word to each other and walked off, hoping that things would be alright between both Thor and Loki.

And perhaps they would be, at least they would at some points in their lives, but for now, all they could do was return to their posts half an hour later, a tentative time they set.

Loki was no longer there but they could have sworn that they felt the grief he left behind.

They went back to their posts, awaiting the dawn so they could go home.

Their shifts changed the moment the dim sun reached the horizon and they left, more guards took their place.

The edges of the city stirred awake, then the rest of the people, till the sun hit the highest point of the palace and lit up the outside of Prince Loki’s chambers.

It was cold inside and Loki had curled up on his side, exhausted after being awake for so long. His body was exhausted, his mind was tired and he lay on the pillows, fast asleep.

He didn’t move when the door opened and the King of the Jotuns came to check on him, he didn’t move when Laufey kissed his head and walked back the way he came. He didn’t move when servants walked in to shut the drapes and clean up as much as they could without disturbing him.

And he didn’t wake when, after nearly noon, the door opened yet again and a young man walked in.

There were dark circles around his brilliant eyes, he looked just as tired as Loki was. His golden hair was messy, but at the moment, he didn’t care.

His bare feet slid on the floor as he barely had energy to walk, and he headed to the bed, sliding in without hesitating and settling beneath the covers.

Thor looked at Loki and felt his exhaustion take over once again.

He had rested so much yet he was still tired.

He was still weak and he was still broken. His head upon the pillow, Thor watched Loki through half lidded eyes, noting how tired he looked, his weak he might feel, too he noticed how absolutely devastated he appeared, even in his sleep.

A part of him longed to go to him, to pull him into his arms and embrace him, a part of him wanted to kiss him senseless.

But the part of him which Loki had broken…

That was another story all together.

That part, still wished he was dead and Thor realized it was larger than he had thought, that part, it was stronger than he had imagined. It was cruel, too.

It told him that Loki would care for him, perhaps at some level he did love him.

But not enough.

He was not someone who would matter to anyone. Sure, a few of them cared but at the end of it all, he felt disposable, he felt like he could be put aside, he felt that though he never wanted to compromise – he was always the one who had to.

It was just that way for the Spare Son.

Thor had just – forgotten it.

He sighed softly and closed his eyes, his hand slipping under the pillow for comfort. His knees pulled up to his chest and he slowly began to relax.

There was no thought weighing on his mind at the moment, but he was sure whenever he woke, that there would be a lot to discuss.

And he dreaded it

***

A crack in the distance woke him up.

It felt as though he sensed the sound and he raised his head, a frown in his brow, looking up.

He stilled, his body going cold when he saw Thor sitting cross legged on the bed, a tray before him, stirring the components of a steaming bowl. The sharp crack had sounded when Thor’s spoon had snapped against the tray when he set it down for a few seconds.

He was making little effort in being silent, meaning that he was not actively being noisy.

Thor was sure to have heard Loki, but he ignored him, studying the contents of his broth before he picked up the spoon to stir it again.

It hurt Loki and he sat up slowly, keeping the front of his sleeping robe closed for modesty.

“Thor…” he croaked, his voice laced with sleep and sadness “You’re awake?”

“Aye” Thor said, taking a spoonful of his meal

He said nothing else and Loki swallowed, feeling as though the weight of the world had settled on his shoulders.

“Thor, will you not look at me?”

Fear of losing Thor constricted his throat, the very thought of how he wasn’t turning to him with a smile on his face paralyzed him.

Loki swallowed and opened his mouth to speak again when Thor looked at him.

He looked tired, both physically and emotionally and Loki was suddenly at a loss of what to say.

His lips parted and closed a few times before he inhaled deeply.

“Thor, I am so sorry” he apologized “I – I acted like a fool, I am a fool. You did something wonderful for me and I ruined it – I am a horrid person and you have every right to be angry at me, but…”

Thor made no movement when Loki reached over and took his hand.

“But please…” Loki said, he pleaded “Don’t harm yourself. Rail against me as much as you can but please do not hurt yourself, you mean the world to me”

He wanted to tell Thor so that Thor would know he cared, perhaps feel a little happy. But the reaction was the opposite of what Loki wanted.

A part of Thor was elated at seeing Loki, he wanted so much to pull him into his arms and kiss him, he wanted so much to just tell him everything was alright. He wanted to confess his love over and over, he wanted Loki to feel cherished.

But the other part, the one Loki had hurt, delighted in seeing Loki realize his mistake.

Thor wanted Loki to love him, he wanted him to care about him without the guilt attached.

And realizing that he would probably never get it, made him feel horrible, made him feel like he was just someone Loki used every now and then.

That was probably not true, but that was how it felt.

He looked at Loki, his face devoid of emotion, listening to him. But it barely made sense to him.

So he sighed and said the one thing that circled his mind like an obsession.

“Will you ever love me?”

Loki blinked and stared at him, frowning. He knew this was coming, Thor was becoming increasingly affectionate and the older he grew, the more he learned about being a man.

But Thor was also sensitive and kind and he wanted to wait.

He just needed the certainty that assured him that his wait would be worth it.

Loki’s shoulders fell and he looked at his young husband.

“Thor” he said sadly “You know I do”

It was clearly, not what Thor wanted to hear because he shook his head.

“No, not like that” Thor said “Like him. Will you ever love me the way you love him?”

This was the first time Thor asked about Sigyn, or referred to him and it made Loki realize that Thor was hurt deeper than he had previously thought.

He didn’t know how to proceed and took a few seconds to breathe before he replied.

“You have your space in my heart” he told Thor “He has his. There is no comparison between you two. The way I love you is different, the way I love him was different.”

“Yes, you wanted to love him” Thor said, putting down his broth “And you were made to love me. You have to say it now because by not saying it, you will be someone who is heartless and hurt a boy.”

He looked at Loki, hurt burning in his eyes, the desire to let it out, scratching him.

“Well it is not working, Loki” he said, his voice hard “Because you are truly heartless right now”

Perhaps he had expected a slap, or a shouting match, or something.

It would impact on him, it always did. No one else got hurt.

But what he saw next, was so, so different.

Loki’s reaction to what he had said was slow.

The furrow in his brow faded as the words hit him, his eyes widened in shock, his mouth parted in hurt. For a second, he looked confused, as though Thor hadn’t said it, then realization hit, Thor had said it, he had called him heartless.

And from the look in his eyes, he meant it.

Loki swallowed thickly and he looked away, knocked speechless.

Thor had taken his ability to think.

He watched, wondering when Loki would strike him, not even bothering to stop him from hurting him. Thor blinked when Loki kept his gaze on the bed long enough to gain some control over himself before he gave a gentle nod.

He said not a word and slowly, carefully, because he thought he might stumble, climbed out of bed.

He had clutched the robe shut over his chest and it was an unconscious gesture, the way he comforted his bleeding heart.

Loki stepped into his slippers slowly before he silently slipped away, parting the drapes around the bed and making his way to the bathroom. He walked in without saying a word or raising his gaze from the floor and closed the door softly behind him.

It was only when the door locked and the click sounded in the room that Thor was taken from his own shock.

Loki hadn’t hurt him.

By all rights, experience and surety, Thor was supposed to get hurt. He had mouthed off to Loki, the least he could have gotten was a beating, the least Loki would have done was shown him his place.

But he hadn’t.

In fact, Thor had hurt Loki.

For absolutely nothing!

Yes, he was hurt and he would be for a while but…

Thor shook his head, unable to comprehend it.

Loki hadn’t hurt him.

He hadn’t lifted a hand to him, hell, he hadn’t even yelled!

Thor looked at the door, his blue eyes confused, his mind in shambles.

Loki had promised never to hurt him.

Thor hadn’t realized how that left the Jotun vulnerable to Thor’s attacks.

Thor groaned and sighed, running a hand down his face, especially when he thought, nay he could have sworn, that he heard a sniffle from inside the bathroom.

Oh this was not good, Thor realized.

This was not good at all, this was not who Thor was. Thor never hurt anyone, Thor was the one who got hurt. This was wrong, it was a foreign feeling, being the person to wield enough power to hurt someone else.

And not just anyone.

Loki

The only one who cared for him and was kind to him that is whom he had hurt.

And that was wrong.

***

Loki’s day only got worse from there.

The moment he was able to dress and walk out, climb down the stairs and head to where Laufey was, to the moment his father snapped at him, scolded him for talking to Odin that way only upset him more. He was silent and stood there, listening to everything Laufey said, then signing the paper his father slid to him. He told him to sign it, not even think about how it was an apology to Odin, then told him to go to and reevaluate his life choices.

He was not going to sit in with the Council today.

Loki, had he been in a better state of mind, would have argued, he would have made Laufey change his mind until he was sitting there with him. But as it was, he was already wounded and fighting was just not appealing.

So, after he signed the apology, he handed Laufey the pen back before he turned and walked out of his office, not even looking back.

He couldn’t go to his room, he couldn’t go to the Council, and he was lost for a few seconds, deciding on where to go.

He had to spend the day somewhere.

And it was as he walked out of the hallway that was his father’s, that he heard his name being called.

Loki turned and a gentle smile came over his lips when he saw the earthy brown eyes of his uncle.

“Uncle Thrym” he greeted “How are you at the palace?”

Thrym was jogging a little and came over to him “Well, I thought I needed to get out a little”

He pulled at the sleeves of his robes and came to stand beside Loki

“Will you take a walk with me?” he asked “From your father’s yelling, I assumed you need it”

Loki gave him a soft laugh and nodded “Of course, I would love to. Perhaps we can take a little something for the afternoon and have a picnic. I haven’t had breakfast”

“Aye, me neither” Thyrm said, looping his arm with Loki’s “To the kitchens, then”

Loki rolled his eyes and let Thrym lead him on. They didn’t really talk along the way, both of them felt like there should be more privacy before they could talk about what Thrym really came here for.

Because really, he was as transparent as glass.

The entire way to the gardens, Thrym watched Loki, as though he would say something or reveal it. But when all Loki did was hold the basket they had taken from the kitchens before they left, Thrym waited.

Together, they trudged through the snow, heading to one of the smaller, more private gardens in their palace. Only those of royal blood were allowed in here and Loki led the way in, Thrym might be royal, but here, his connection to the royal family was cut. The only way he could come in was if a royal willed it – and Loki certainly did.

He led him in and inhaled deeply, the privacy shield around the garden closing behind them once they stepped in. it had rippled, they might have walked through clear water, and it stopped when they were both through, showing them the beautiful lawn and benches they were going to enjoy.

“I can never get over how beautiful this place is” Thrym said softly, looking around.

He used to come here with Farbauti and it gave him a sense of grief and nostalgia. His smile turned sad and his eyes began to shine.

“You Dam and I came here so much” he told Loki, looking at the familiar surroundings “We would talk about everything, lying in the snow, talking and laughing.”

He looked at him and smiled “This is where you and I met for the first time, too. I was so tiny, I thought you were my brother”

Loki smiled and gave his shoulder a squeeze “You are still tiny. You shame the Jotun race”

Thrym gave him a dry look and smacked his hand off his shoulder before he walked to the bench.

“You know,” Thrym said “I may be tiny, but I know exactly what you need”

He turned and faced Loki, walking backwards as Loki walked over, he gave him a bright smile then turned to look over Loki’s shoulder.

Loki frowned, realizing something was up, and turned.

There, behind him, he saw someone he never thought he would see again.

Helblindi smiled at him, wearing a heavy cloak, his blue eyes shining in joy. Beside him, was the beautiful Heron and standing on either side of him were two toddlers, watching him, their light blue eyes big and focused on Loki.

Loki, who was frozen where he was, felt the basket slip from his hands and land in the snow at his feet. He turned to face his brother slowly, not having even thought of seeing him again.

“H-Hel…”

Helblindi took the few steps he needed to get to Loki and Loki walked over, letting his brother pull him into his arms.

Helblindi’s heavily muscled arms went around him as he embraced his younger sibling, his eyes closing, such was his emotion.

Loki was overwhelmed and he swallowed thickly, a soft gasp escaping him.

“I thought I would never see you again” he said, his voice breathy and thick

“Hush” Helblindi soothed, placing a hand behind his head, comforting him “Don’t speak. Let me comfort my baby brother, I haven’t seen him in years”

Loki’s hands clenched in his shirt and for a long time he held on before he stepped back.

Helblindi smiled and gently cupped his face before he kissed his forehead, affection clear in his eyes.

“Better?”

Loki nodded, looking scared and vulnerable, Helblindi let him go.

“We will talk, but first, I want you to meet my sons” he put an arm around Loki’s shoulders and guided him forward.

“Hyrm, Byleistr, come here” Helblindi grinned “Come on”

The boys hesitated, but when Heron placed his hands on their heads and nudged them forward, they obeyed, hobbling forward to step into their father’s arms.

As huge as he was, Helblindi had no problem picking one up in each arm and lifting them up, making them smile. They steadied themselves against his shoulders and their big eyes studied Loki. They were silent, watching him as he was someone strange to them.

Loki smiled and raised a hand, wiggling his fingers at them

“Hello, babies” he greeted

Helblindi smiled “This if your uncle”

He jostled them a little “Say hello”

Hyrm blushed and was quickly hid his face against his father’s shoulder. The other one, Byleistr, smiled and waved at him, his tony mouth forming a grin

“Hello”

“Greetings, darling” Loki smiled, reaching over and stroking his cheek

The boy was delighted, so was Loki and he snapped his fingers, creating a small show of harmless fireworks for him.

It made him clap and squeal in delight; it made Hyrm look up, shy and unsure, but longing to see this. Loki smiled at him, then stepped back and lifted his other hand.

The fireworks turned into colorful balls and Loki began to juggle them, which made both boys laugh.

Heron walked over, his arms around himself, a smile on his face. He watched his children, chuckling when Helblindi let them down and they ran to Loki.

Loki ran backwards, making them giggle and laugh as he won then over with his tricks. He spun and twirled as he continued to juggle, his grief fading from him.

Helblindi put his arm around Heron’s waist and kissed his cheek.

“I told you he would enjoy it”

Heron smiled “As I recall, I was the one who suggested it”

“And I perfected it” Helblindi countered

Heron smiled and rolled his eyes, letting him have this tiny battle.

He was sure there would be more he would doubtlessly win in the future.

Right now, he wanted to see Loki be happy, wanted to see him without pain. Because from what he and Helblindi knew, Loki needed it.

***

Later, after they had finished their picnic, Loki and Helblindi took a walk around the gardens.

Between the two of them, Thrym and Heron had managed to keep the twins entertained so they didn’t come after Loki – who was now their favorite person.

He had laughed and played with them the entire time they had their lunch, while Heron, Helblindi and Thrym watched.

Loki was grinning, he looked better, he had color in his cheeks, delight in his eyes. He had changed in a manner of minutes.

And it was all Helblindi’s doing.

Apparently, Thrym had been in contact with Helbindi since the last time he visited. He had moved out of his house into Jarnsaxa’s, so he had given his home to them. Helblindi had protested, but in the end, he had no choice. It was Farbauti’s home, too, and now it was where Helblindi lived.

He helped Helblindi find a job as a trainer in a private schooling house, opened by a wealthy Nobleman and Heron got the home he always wanted. His own small house, he had sold off and used the money for his and Helblindi’s needs. They were making Thrym’s house bigger so that they could have a small bakery which Heron would run.

Their part of the city could use a new baker.

And Heron was wonderful.

They talked about all of this and more, having a grand old time until they went silent for a while. Helblindi used that moment to tell Loki to take a walk with him, they had to talk.

Of course Loki did, he knew if anyone could help him, it was his brother.

Laufey got far too emotional, the old sentiment.

So that was how Loki and Helblindi ended up talking as they walked, Loki telling him everything.

“Then this morning” Loki said, rubbing his arms “He told me I was heartless. I can’t describe to you how much it hurt, Hel. I felt stripped of power, I could say nothing to him. it was like he’d sewn my lips shut and decided to torture me. I can’t explain it. First I hurt him, then he hurt me, how am I to live like this?”

Helblindi exhaled and looked at him, his arms crossed “You said he confessed his love to you?”

“Aye” Loki nodded, looking at him “I knew he cared a lot for me, I knew he loved me but I never thought he would confess it to me”

“Why not?” Helblindi asked

“Because, I am older than him” Loki said “he is a shy young man who displays his feelings through acts, not words. He would rather do things for me than tell me, I guess”

Helblindi hummed “You guess? You are not sure?”

“Right now, I am unsure about everything”

Loki was rubbing his arms. Despite having just had dinner, he was feeling a chill, he usually did when he was out in the snow and ice for long, and they had been outside for a while now.

He sighed and steam formed before his lips, making it seem like it was colder than it really was. Helblindi frowned and placed an arm around his shoulders.

“You know…” he said, when it was clear Loki wasn’t going to say more “He is probably hurting because his gesture got rejected”

Loki gasped and looked at him, “I hadn’t meant to reject…”

“I know” Helblindi soothed “But think of it from his point of view, Loki. He cleaned things for you, he had no idea those were Sigyn’s belongings, he was doing you a favor”

“I know he was!” Loki looked at him “And I know my reaction was unfair and that it caused him to run off and almost….”

He sighed and looked away, lost as to how he should fix this.

“Hel, I don’t know what to do” he confessed, his eyes looking into his brother’s “We have never fought before, this has never happened and I don’t know how to deal with it”

Helblindi raised a brow “How did you fix things with Sigyn? I know you two fought”

Loki turned his head and gave him a meaningful look and Helblindi flushed

“Nevermind” he muttered, turning away “Forget I asked”

Loki sniggered and looked at the path they were taking, letting the silence stretch a little.

“Maybe…” Helblindi said after a while “And this might seem insane but bear with me…”

Loki looked at him, levelling a dry glare at him.

“Maybe” Helblindi smiled “You and Thor should have a talk. An honest talk here neither of you are offended or hurt. Set the truth out, ask direct questions, get this over with. Because like it or not, Loki, one day you are going to wake up to a man. And if you do not have your priorities set before that happens, then more problems will arise, Loki”

Loki’s lips tightened and he nodding, already aware of this.

“I know that, Hel” he said softly “But unfortunately, he despises me right now. Pushing him does not seem wise”

“Wise or not, you need to talk” Helblindi said, nudging him as though knocking sense into him “So go, let him know you are there for him and let him know he matters. No one has ever said that to him, Loki”

Loki knew, of course he did, but he also knew that Thor was confident in his devotion to him. He had often told him and shown him how much he cared.

What did he have to do to get Thor to remember it?

Loki growled and Helblindi chuckled

“Tough, is it not?” he asked “Being in love”

Loki’s head snapped to him and he blinked “What? No, no, you have it wrong. I love him, yes, I am not in love. There is a difference”

“Oh?” Helblindi gave him an all knowing smirk “Is that so? What is the difference?”

“Wipe that smirk off your face, it makes you look like an ass” Loki said

They had started on their third round of the lawn and were out of the children’s hearing range. Helblindi chuckled

“I might look like an ass, but at least I am not acting like one”

Loki inclined his jaw “Don’t be so sure about that”

Helblindi gave him a playful nudge and kept on walking.

“I’m serious, however” he said, looking at his brother “find a way to fix this, let him know you care and love him”

Loki sighed and nodded, knowing he was right – again.

He had to apologize to Thor.

There was no other option for him.

None.

~~~***~~~

There was movement in the tent, he felt it.

He could sense the atmosphere change around him. He felt like it was cooler, like everything around him was shifting.

Thor’s eyes opened, just a little, his body was alert but relaxed, giving a false impression of him being asleep. His hands were beneath his pillow, which was good because they could curl around the hilt of his dagger, making sure he was armed.

Many believed he only held Mjolnir, but he was well trained and could kill with just about anything, including his bare hands.

Thor was still, so still that the impression of being asleep gave his intruder confidence to further walk in. his silhouette was visible, a cloak over his head, his shoulders, hiding who it was. But from his height it was clear to Thor that it was a man, possibly a Jotun who had felt brave enough to kill him.

Whoever it was, came in with a purpose and Thor waited to see where the man would go. The Casket was sitting beside the bed, the man would be foolish if he came to get it.

But as it was, though his hooded head turned to it, he never made a move towards it.

Instead, he did something that made Thor go cold.

He went to Halvor and gently shook his shoulder, then place a finger over his lips.

Even in the dark, even looking at that silhouetted, hand, Thor knew.

He just knew.

Halvor looked up at him, gaping

“Master Loki!” he whispered, his eyes shocked “You shouldn’t be here, the guards…”

“Asleep under my spell” Loki whispered “I have no time to explain, come with me, I am here to save you”

He pulled him up and Halvor sat

“My lord” he said, shaking his head “I am grateful you are here, I truly am honored, but … I cannot go”

Loki frowned, in the dim light, Halvor could see his expression turn confused “Why not?”

“He needs me” Halvor said, no hesitation in his voice “I must help him”

There was silence for a while, where Thor felt his heart stop.

Up until that moment he did not know how important Halvor had become to him. He was his only friend, his confidante. Without him, Thor had his family and they were nothing. All he was to them was a weapon.

He needed Halvor.

More than that, Thor had gone cold the moment Loki entered, his heart pounding painfully in his chest.

He had not seen Loki in over a year. And now, seeing him like this, twice in one day… was too much.

Thor swallowed and a soft noise escaped him. it was nearly inaudible but Loki heard it.

And Thor froze

Loki lifted his head slowly, turning towards Thor.

He knew Thor was awake and he felt his heart begin to race.

Halvor was stuck between them, at a loss of what to do.

He didn’t know who would act, what would happen. All he did was see two men who loved each other, stand on opposite sides of the battlefield to fight.

Their breaths were loud in the room, the tension was mounting, something was going to give.

There was a shift and Thor moved, just an inch.

And a second later, Loki bolted.

“Wait!”

Thor called to him, getting out of bed, going after him as Loki ran to the entrance of the tent. He was desperate and Halvor yelped, ducking as a metallic sound filled the tent and Mjolnir herself flew above his head.

“Master Thor, don’t!” Halvor pleaded, getting to his feet

He could not watch them hurt each other.

But it was too late.

Thor, once the hammer was in his grasp, hurled it forward and Loki cried out loudly as it hit the middle of his back, downing him. It rested upon him and he struggled, fighting and clawing at the ground to pull himself free.

Thor came to stop by him and quickly grabbed his arms.

“Loki, please, wait for…”

“Traitorous bastard!” Loki hissed, angry, nearly mad in his rage “You have betrayed the loved ones who cherished you, you unworthy rogue! All you bring is misery and death, all you have done is betray us! Do not touch me!”

Halvor was standing by, his hands over his mouth, shocked.

Never had he seen Loki like this, never had he felt so horrified.

Thor, though his skin was tough, was not a match for Loki. His words cut him deep, broke him apart and his lips tightened.

Seeing Loki try to pull himself out from underneath Mjolnir, rage driving him.

His finger tips burned with magic but he was unable to use it as he lay pinned on his front.

“Release me!” he ordered.

Thor watched him struggle, his mouth tight, his face pale.

He took a deep breath, sitting there in indecision for a few seconds before he looked at Halvor.

“Halvor, get me those silver cuffs”

Loki growled in fury and Halvor gaped.

“M-Master, you cannot do…”

“Now!” Thor barked at him, his eyes glowing, thunder rumbling in the distance.

Halvor stared at him, grey eyes wide, before he slowly turned and went to the trunk to get what Thor asked for.

Only, when he reached it, when he opened it and saw those cuffs, he could not.

Loki took care of him, he raised him, he could not participate in his capture.

He looked at Thor, his eyes pleading.

“Master Thor, please, I beg you” he whimpered, watching as he looked at him “Let him go”

There was shock in Thor’s eyes, there was disbelief as he watched his servant talk back to him. he stood slowly and glared at him from across the tent.

“Excuse me?” he whispered “What makes you think your say has any value to me? I am the ruler of this land and you would have me release my prisoner!?”

“He is your husband!” Halvor yelled, for the first time in his life he yelled at Thor “You were married to him, he took care of you! He raised you from your despair, do you remember none of that!?”

Thor looked at him, his eyes filled with regret, with anger, with love, with hate… with so many emotions drilled into him.

His jaw was tight as he looked for and found the one justification he needed.

“And he almost killed me” he reminded Halvor

Halvor felt his mouth part in shock and Thor advanced, heading to the trunk. He would do it himself if he had to.

Loki struggled in vain, his strained cries filling the tent as he fought to escape the hammer. The Hammer of Thor, resting on his back, trapping him.

But he could not move it no sooner than he could move the entire realm. He was helpless!

Halvor saw Loki’s desperation and went to Thor

“Please” he begged “My lord, please don’t do this, you will break all paths to reconciliation!”

Thor, who was digging into and lifting out the cuffs, ignored him. he slammed the lid shut once he got them and turned back to Loki.

“Thor!” Halvor said, grabbing his arm “Stop it! you cannot…!”

He broke off, a sharp cry escaping him when Thor spun around and backhanded him across the face.

Loki shouted in rage as Halvor fell to the ground, holding his cheek, soft whimpers escaping him.

“Know your place” Thor hissed at him

“I’ll kill you!” Loki hissed, kicking and struggling beneath the hammer “I will kill you, Odinson, I will kill you!”

Thor said nothing. He reached Loki, ignoring Halvor crying softly behind him, and grabbed one wrist, then the other.

Loki growled and fought, but in the end, Thor was stronger. He wrapped Loki’s wrists in those cuffs and watched them tighten enough to keep him bound.

Then he grabbed the back of his collar and held him down as he pushed the hammer off. Loki groaned in pain but said nothing as he was pulled back and taken further into the tent.

But as he passed Halvor, who was still on the ground, his hair over his face, soft sobs escaping him as he lay there, he swore.

He swore he would kill Thor Odinson, if that was the last thing he would do.

~~~***~~~

Loki sighed.

He stood before their room, Helblindi’s words and his resolve settling on his shoulders. He had made a decision, he had to fix things between them.

Loki was not someone who could hurt a young man, an innocent young man and leave it at that. Thor was important to him, he was his husband and one of the best people he had ever known.

Even if he was angry, Thor needed to know that, despite the fact that maybe, just maybe, Thor was not going to talk to him for a while.

Loki would risk it.

But Thor needed to know he cared, he needed to know that unlike everyone else, Loki would still be there when they had their dark times.

Yet, it was so hard for him to just open the door and walk in.

The fear of Thor’s words was awesome and Loki had to take a few breaths before he touched the door again.

Touch, aye, not open it.

He was still nervous.

Loki hung his head, he could hear that large cat Thor had inside, which meant Thor was still in there, hating him.

It hurt more than Loki expected because he was so used to Thor liking him and looking up to him. Being put into a category that was the opposite of that was frightening. Loki didn’t think he could do it. Or handle it very well.

He didn’t want to be categorized as being like Odin and right now, he felt that way.

He felt like he was Odin.

Gods above, this was so horrible.

Loki hated being this vulnerable. He hadn’t felt this way in a very long time and he didn’t cherish it.

True, he had Helblindi now, which was more a help than Loki would ever admit, but at the end of the day he would still face Thor alone, he would still risk getting hurt again.

But, as it was, he had no choice and Loki took yet another breath and extended a hand towards the knob.

“Loki?”

He turned automatically, towards that voice, a small parcel in his hand.

His green eyes blinked when he saw Thor standing behind him, looking just as lost and confused and scared as Loki.

And just like him, there was a parcel in his hands.

For a second, both of them were confused.

Hours seemed to pass before they raised their gazes from the perfectly wrapped presents to the eyes their husband had.

And just like that, without a word or act, the tension fell off their shoulders. They smiled at each other and their eyes shone with adoration, with affection and most importantly, with the apology they had no need to say.

Loki advanced and so did Thor, both of them meeting in the middle, Thor’s arms going around Loki, once more lifting him off the ground.

Loki’s arms went around Thor’s shoulders and he kissed his forehead

“I am so sorry” Thor said, squeezing him tightly “I am so, so sorry, Loki”

Loki kissed his temple and stroked his shoulders “So am I. Please forgive me, Thor, I have been negligent. You are such a wonderful young man and I ….”

He sighed and Thor nuzzled his neck

“And I am an old man and a fool”

Thor smiled at that and kissed his shoulder before he looked up.

“And here I thought you would never admit it”

Loki smiled sadly, then Thor watched it fade, watched the pain take over his eyes.

“I am sorry” Loki said earnestly “For hurting you, for valuing objects over your love, for making you feel like you were second best”

Thor blinked at him, felt his touch when Loki stroked his cheek

“You are not second best, Thor” Loki told him “You are a good man, you lead everything, everything comes after you. I am so sorry I made you feel less than you are, especially when you matter so much to me”

Thor smiled at him and turned his head to kiss Loki’s palm.

“And I am sorry I ran off, acted like a fool and then hurt you” he said, kissing his palm again “I should have had more confidence in you, yet I did not. I have been unappreciated in my life for so long I just thought it logical that you would not appreciate me too. I was hurt and I lashed out. Please, please forgive me”

Loki’s cold hand stroked his jaw before brushing his hair back

“You know I have, Thor” he said softly “You know I always will”

“You promise?” Thor whispered, looking at him “That you will always forgive my mistakes? I know I will make a lot of them, I have a feeling you will get really angry at me one day and threaten to kill me”

Loki laughed softly “You truly believe that?”

“Sometimes when I am alone, I do” Thor said “I think that I am still expendable”

It earned him a smack on the cheek, making him flutter his lashes

“You are anything but expendable, Thor” Loki said “You are a wonderful young man, with a lot of purpose. You are strong, confident and beautiful – inside and out. I hate that you don’t see it”

It was true, at this point in life, Thor didn’t see it, yet he still smiled.

“I think that if I stay with you long enough” he rocked them from side to side “I might”

Loki grinned “Do you? Then there is hope for you?”

“Of course” Thor said “How do you think I found that room you gave me the key to?”

That made Loki blink “What? You found it?”

“Took me hours, but I did” Thor boasted softly, then kissed Loki’s jaw “Thank you. I needed a place where I could paint in peace”

“You are more than welcome, my darling” Loki whispered “What will you draw, then?”

“Well” Thor said, pretending to think about it “Since you gave it to me, I would like to inaugurate it with a portrait – if you do not mind”

“Do you now?” Loki asked “A portrait of me?”

“Aye”

Loki smiled widely at him before he stroked his head again “Then I would be honored, my dearest”

“So would I” Thor told him, his face bright “So would I, my Loki”

He turned then, not letting Loki down as he led him back, the dreams of happiness and joy surrounding him as he took his husband away, no care in the world on his shoulders.


	12. Chapter 12

It was dim in the Jotun morning, the sun never really came out here. It peeked through the clouds and let the snow glimmer with the barest of light. Yet, to those who lived here it was like a bright beam of sun, waking them slowly from dawn still noon, when the most luxurious and rich men slept in their beds, their mates or lovers beside them..

There were few who were awake, lying alone on their beds, wondering how they slept when they felt pain, loneliness and agony whenever they breathed. They did not have the will to turn over and look to the other side of the bed, seeing it empty, cold and barren. There was someone there once or there had never had been, and looking at something as simple as a bed, made then feel a thousand times worse about their own existence. Why where they here? Alive, breathing – when the one they wanted to spend their life with was not?.

These thoughts tormented them and one of these Jotuns, alone in his bed and in pain, was Laufey – the Jotun King..

Years had passed since he lost Farbauti, years has passed since he could feel someone beside him, feel them kiss his lips, smile at him..

His heart bled daily, bled out till he met Loki and Thor, spent the day with them, laughed and talked. Then it stopped, then it healed..

But every night, without fail, he would get into his bed, sad and alone, holding onto the pillow Farbauti used, closing his eyes and pretending he was still there. It hurt so much, it hurt to the point where he would cry in pain..

He was a King, yes..

But he was a widower first, having been left behind when his beloved parted from him all too soon..

It was heart breaking..

And to add salt to the wound, the one person he was interested in, had fled, married another and left him for good..

It branded on Laufey, the state of his own isolation. He was alone in a realm filled with people..

He lay there, now, his blue eyes focused on the wall before him, waiting for the sun to rise enough that he could get out of bed at a reasonable time. He did it every day, he wanted to give the illusion that he slept soundly, otherwise Loki would hound him till he did..

It would do no good, no matter how much Loki tried, the pain Laufey was in would never end..

Unlike Loki, he hadn’t found someone and it killed him knowing that the time between this day and the day he died would only be filled with pain..

Laufey shut his eyes and breathed deeply a moment, turning to lay on his back and look at the ceiling. It was silent, the sounds of his sheets shifting was the only thing that sounded in the room, so when he heard a click and a snap outside, he frowned..

These were his private chambers..

No one had the authority to come in while he was asleep..

Sitting up, Laufey sat still a moment so he could concentrate properly and sure enough, he heard another noise, a shuffle..

Someone was there, in his suite..

Getting out of bed and putting on his robe, Laufey took a few seconds to orient himself, then headed to the door, barefoot. He opened the door to his chambers just as the door to his small kitchenette shut softly, so that no noise was made..

He could see a figure moving through the frosted glass and walked over, a furrow in his brow and the affront of a King on his shoulders..

His bare feet made no noise as he walked over and the person inside, whoever it was, kept up their work. Laufey reached the door with a purpose and opened it loudly, ready to call the person out on their offence..

But he broke off then the unfortunate soul yelped and hit their head on the top of the cabinet they were riffling through. There was a small basket of medical supplies – Laufey’s medical supplies – beside them and Laufey felt his mouth part when the ‘thief’ turned to him..

“Thrym!?”.

Thrym had his hair falling over his face and he rubbed his scalp, looking at him..

“Uh…” he blinked at him “Yes?”.

Laufey let his hand fall off the doorknob and stared at him, waiting for an explanation. The front of his robe was parted enough to fall off one shoulder and for a second, he thought Thrym was staring..

For his age, Laufey was in excellent shape. His chest was muscled, so were his arms, and he frowned when he saw Thrym flounder for composure.

“What are you doing here?”.

Thrym straightened and brushed his hair back, looking at the bottle of balm in his hand..

He opened his mouth and closed it, pointed to the bottle and then at Laufey..

There was silence as he thought about what he would say..

“I had an explanation, I swear”.

Laufey huffed and shook his head “Alright…”.

“See, I ran out of … a few things at home and…”.

“And you thought to pillage the King’s medical cabinet?” Laufey asked, crossing his arms over his large chest.

“No” Thrym said “My brother in law’s cabinet”.

Oh, that was smooth!.

Laufey narrowed his eyes a little, but there was no anger there, and he exhaled..

“You know we have a perfectly good infirmary, do you not?” he said “You can take whatever you want from there”.

“It is not open this early”.

“It’s noon, Thrym” Laufey said, grimacing “I think it is open”.

Thrym hummed and looked at the balm, then at the basket at his feet. There was gauze, sticking plasters, needles and sutures. It was all very odd and he licked his lips before he looked at Laufey..

“I can replace them?” he offered.

Laufey smirked “See that you do”.

He turned and headed back, but stopped “And since you are here, you will have breakfast with me”.

Thrym blinked at him, opening his mouth to speak “Um...actually, I …”.

“The King demands it” Laufey said casually as he went back to his chambers “Do be a dear and call for it”.

The door snapped shut behind him and Thrym stood there, looking at his supplies and cursing his luck a thousand and one times..

It was rotten!.

On the other side of the palace, waking from their slumber in Prince Loki’s chambers, Thor shifted, turning on his side beneath the furs, one huge arm going around the waist of his husband as both of them lay side by side..

Thor was genuinely huge now, towering over most Jotuns he met. He now had huge shoulders, arms thick enough to intimidate even the toughest Jotun and a massive chest which had filled out and was crossed with three parallel scars, faded over the course of time it took him to reach his twenty fifth year..

Today, was his day of birth. It was a celebration amongst celebrations because today marked the day when Jotunhiem was no longer struck with poverty. Today, the last carriage of food had returned, filled to the brim, to the palace, since the realm had no need for more food. The day of stamps and rations were over, the days of looting and pillaging for food were done. The days of death and misery were behind them..

Today, Jotunhiem was back to her former glory. And it was all Thor’s doing..

Three years ago, Thor had discovered something that had made Jotunhiem soar to new heights. His determination, his need to get to the bottom of his discovery was so strong that he had attempted and succeeded at getting Jotunhiem the best in heating technology. It had been tricky, yes, but with the combined attempts of the Jotun mages and Thor’s engineering skills, they were able to do it..

Before their disastrous fight that month, Thor had been telling Loki about how he had discovered compressed gas within a cavern. He wanted to have it checked out, Loki was unsure and after they made up, Loki was still dubious..

It was dangerous, Thor could get hurt..

Anything could happen, the gas was volatile. It could cause serious damage to the stability of the capital and no one knew how deep it ran..

His doubts and worries were correct, Thor agreed, which was why the next day he joined heads with the various engineers and miners to find out exactly what they could do..

Loki had not agreed, he was not happy about this. He wanted Thor to give up this venture, let the gas lay where it was..

But Thor hadn’t listened and another week went by where Loki refused to speak to Thor..

Thor, instead of being disheartened, was warmed by it because it revealed the depth of how much Loki felt for him..

True, Loki had yet to properly confess it, look Thor in the eye and say it, without Thor having to prompt it, but the feeling was there..

Thor knew it..

And it was that feeling that he saw in Loki’s eyes when, months later, he walked over with a long, canister in his hands, with a pressure tap on the top..

“This” Thor had said “This is what I was looking for”.

Loki had not understood immediately but later, when Thor took him to the caverns, when they drilled a hole in the wall of the caver which held the gas, he understood..

Thor and the mages that Loki had once taught, all stood before the opening, using their magic to contain the gas and push it into the canister. It was locked and the gas trapped inside, ready to be used in the palace kitchens, homes and anywhere else. It was the invention of a lifetime!.

The pride Loki had in his eyes, when Thor came out, wielding the very first canister and showed it to the realms, was indescribable. The entire Jotun world cheered for him – for his young husband..

It was a dream come true for Thor, watching people say his name because he had saved them one way or the other..

He didn’t want it to end..

And now, years later, a canister was set within their fire place, gently warming up their room in the hard Jotun winter..

The magic which was used to heat everything in the palace was now being given to those who could not afford the canisters. Loki had demanded and insisted upon it. He was eager to use Thor’s invention and see the good it did them – now he knew..

He could feel Thor’s legacy grow day by day, possibly it would pass his own..

And Loki didn’t mind one bit, just like he didn’t mind when Thor started to nuzzle his shoulder..

He sighed in contentment “Yes, good morning to you too, Thor”.

Thor smiled and kissed the back of his head “Today is a special day”.

“Oh?” Loki asked, eyes still closed as Thor pulled him back against his chest..

One large hand came over him and held on to his pale, slender fingers, playing with his rings..

“Yes” Thor said “It’s my birthday’.

Loki clicked his tongue in pretend scolding “Oh, no, Thor, your birthday was last year. I remember, I got you a horse”.

Thor smiled, his laughter deep, rumbling through Loki..

“You are trying to be witty, husband” he said.

“Nay” Loki said, yawning gracefully behind a hand “I am succeeding in being witty”.

“It’s a matter of perspective” Thor said, kissing Loki’s shoulder “To you, you are witty, to me, you are a tease. Perspective plays an important part in everything, Loki”.

Loki smiled and inhaled deeply, dozing off again “Go back to sleep, love. You are losing your mind”.

“Growing senile, you mean?” Thor said “You seem to be forgetting you are eleven years my elder, which means you have already lost your mind”.

“Of course I have” Loki yawned again “Would a sane man live with you?”.

Thor chuckled at that and rested his cheek on Loki’s shoulder, watching the slit in the drapes around their bed..

A lifetime he had spent with Odin, trying to be happy. Six years he had lived here and had not felt joy and happiness like this before..

It was a miracle, Loki more so..

He bore with him, took their fighting with grace, took their reunion with even more grace. He was kind, forgiving, caring and loving. He spoiled Thor and kept him in line. He scolded him, then kissed it better, he bought him presents and made him give what he was not using away..

He was the best husband in all the realms, Thor knew..

But ….

He did not let Thor sleep with him..

True, they kissed and touched, but that was it. The moment Thor showed a desire to do more, Loki stopped him, told him no, not yet. He wasn’t ready..

Thor had no choice but to back down, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for Loki, but he was starting to wonder if it would ever happen..

Would Loki ever let him treat him like a husband, give him that honor?.

He didn’t know and whenever he asked, Loki closed up, changed the subject, refused to talk about it..

And that, more than anything, left doubts in Thor’s mind..

Did Loki love him?.

Thor was sure he did.

But he hadn’t said it..

And slowly, it was starting to get to Thor. Someone who is with another for six years cannot just – not harbor feelings..

There had to be something, anything..

Otherwise…what was Thor doing?.

Living a lie? Staying with a man who might love him, might not?.

The path these questions led to was dark and Thor stopped before he went too deep into it and look at the man who was falling back asleep..

He smiled and kissed his cheek.

“Sleep well, old man”.

Loki groaned and swatted at him sleepily, but gave no other reaction..

So Thor slipped out of bed, not wanting to intrude on his sleep more than he already had, and headed out..

The sunlight hit his body, dim as it was, illuminating his magnificent form..

Thor was a man, truly, the hard panes of his body, the groves his muscles created in his chest, his abdomen and his arms were starkly visible, shining in the light that fell upon them. His back muscles rippled as he reached forth to don his robe and tied it at his tapered wait before he stepped into his warm slippers and walked to the bathing room..

This had been improved as Jotuhiem had, and now it was almost the size of a small hall. There were two separate showers, one huge bath and one personal one. The tiles had been imported from Vanahiem and warmed the moment they sensed someone step on them, thus never letting Thor step on a cold bathroom floor..

It was just one of the many luxuries he and Loki now enjoyed..

Thor shed his robe, put it behind the door and stepped out of his slippers before he headed to the shower, starting the hot water and waiting till it was steaming before he stepped into it..

There were various soaps and luxuries for Thor to use and he picked one of his favorites, bathing and cleaning himself as he contemplated his husband once more..

He was going to ask Loki to let him sleep with him. He would accept no other birthday present. He wanted Loki, he loved him, he should be allowed to sleep with him..

True, Loki was comfortable with keeping things as they were but Thor was a part of this marriage, too..

He had a say as well, no matter what..

And worse come to worse, Loki would say no, right?.

Then Thor would demand to know why, he deserved that, at least. Sigyn was gone for a long time, Loki needed to move on..

And Thor was the person who was waiting for him..

He didn’t know how he was going to phrase it, perhaps he would be romantic, buying Loki dinner, getting him a small token of his love then asking him to honor him. Loki liked these things even if he rolled his eyes at Thor. He liked being told he is loved and that he had an admirer who would do anything for him..

Thor could do that.

Being direct would – well, it seemed heartless to Thor. It seemed cold and calculating. It seemed as though he was demanding something Loki didn’t want to give..

So romance it would be..

And the fact that it was his birthday, might give him an edge..

Water fell around him, over his muscled body and Thor raised his hands, running them through his wet hair as water and soap slowly slipped down his shoulders, his back, licking over him as it slipped lower and lower, to the dip of his tailbone, down the chiseled pectorals and skating over the rock hard abdomen glistening in the water, moving as he washed himself, moving as he breathed..

The sound of his bathing was loud in the bathroom, but Loki barely heard it as he slept on, curled up in his bed..

He had no idea about the mistakes both of them were about to make..

***.

“So” Laufey beamed, sitting back in his casual morning dress, smiling at his guest “Are you willing to tell me why exactly I found you pillaging my cabinet so early in the morning?”.

Thrym, who was decidedly one of the most uncomfortable people Laufey had ever met, squirmed in his seat and took another spoonful of the delicious porridge they were starting with. When Laufey spoke, he looked at him, a blush dusting his cheeks..

He was so uncomfortable it made Laufey conceal his grin behind his keg of thick, sweet oatmeal. He always had it in a keg because it was hot and warmed him right up..

He loved sweet and hot things – which was why he was so interested in Thrym..

He almost snickered at his own bad joke as he waited for his guest to respond..

“I … needed it and I didn’t wish to disturb the healers” Thrym said, his voice wavering a little “Jarnsaxa did something stupid last night and I didn’t want anyone to find out. Since you have to record everything and give them the nature of the injury, I decided to … come here”.

Laufey frowned “What happened?”.

“Well…” Thrym said “He was supposed to be training for some sort of competition up north, he leaves in a few days, and he tripped and hurt a part of himself which he is not proud of hurting”.

Laufey felt his lips twitch..

For some reason, Jarnsaxa in pain was funny to him..

“So” Thrym said “We need it for bruises”.

He picked at his porridge again, then looked up when the servants brought in a feast, then two extra plate settings..

Laufey smiled “I see my sons are awake”.

“Yes, my lord”.

Thrym looked even more uncomfortable..

He wanted to go home, not because he hated being here, rather because his husband was waiting. He had to go make him breakfast and Jarnsaxa would not like it if he woke up and Thrym was gone without a trace..

Especially after last night..

He didn’t want to ruin things between them and they would when Jarnsaxa found out he was having breakfast with Laufey..

Jarnsaxa did not like their king..

But he still smiled when Loki walked over, his delight at seeing his nephew calming his nerves. He grinned at Thor as the man walked over..

“Good morning, you two” Laufey said, extending a hand for Thor “Happy Birthday, darling boy”.

Thor smiled at him, taking his hand, letting Laufey kiss his knuckles “Thank you, Father, I …”.

He broke off when Laufey placed something in his palm and let go.

Thor’s eyes went wide when he saw what it was, his mouth falling open.

“Father, no, this is too much!”.

It was a Jotun diamond. Cut and shaped into a drop, as thick as Laufey’s palm and glittering in the light, black as beauty itself..

“Nonsense,” Laufey said as Loki beamed at his father, proud of this “You deserve it.”.

“No, this…”.

“Is yours” Laufey stood “Will you reject a present from me?”.

Thor looked at him, one of the few who were still taller than him and smiled, glee shining in his eyes.

“Thank you”.

Laufey smiled and spread his arms, “Come here”.

Thor went to take his embrace, then a kiss on the head while Loki sat with Thrym..

Over the last few years, Thrym was barely here, so it was good to see him. Loki longed to fix the bond between them, to know what was going on and why Thrym was pulling away..

The last time he saw him was months ago, and that was purely by accident when he was secretly visiting Helblindi..

The twins were five years old now and looked absolutely adorable. Loki doted on them and they cheered whenever he and Thor visited..

“So, what have you planned for today?” Thrym asked, hoping his impatience to go home wasn’t too clear.

“Ah, nothing much” Loki said, reaching for the delicious egg and butter sandwiches before him “I just have a surprise for Thor”.

Thor looked at him, watched his long neck, graceful neck and beautiful eyes. His mouth moved like sin when he spoke and he came to sit beside him..

“He refuses to tell me” Thor said, “I have tried guessing, but no real luck”.

“Well, a surprise is called that for a reason, dear” Loki said, picking up coffee and pouring it for Thor..

Thrym watched as Loki catered to Thor while the young man had everything he gave him. Loki placed two steaming bread rolls into Thor’s platter, flesk came next, then two spoonfuls of buttery scrambled eggs..

Thor picked up his utensils and started to eat while Loki had his own sandwich, coffee, fruit and assorted nuts that he was fond of..

Laufey was someone who had a lot of meat and other than Thor, was the only one who was interested in the flesk. He had last night’s left over roast at his side of the table. There was gravy with it, too and Thrym had to try and not show how shocked he was at Laufey’s ability to eat that for breakfast..

He turned to Thor and beamed “Many happy returns, I will be sure to send you something the moment I get home”.

“Mmf!”.

“Swallow, Thor” Loki said, calmly eating his breakfast.

Thrym watched, concealing his smile, when he saw Thor hurriedly swallow his bite before he looked at Thrym..

“Please, you don’t have to!” he said, possibly still trying to swallow the food he so hurriedly forced down his throat “I have more than enough”.

“And yet, it will still not sway me” Thrym smiled.

Thor was at a loss for a few seconds, genuinely not wanting to burden Thrym. He looked at Loki, who shrugged, leaving Thor to his own devices..

Thor was still not used to being loved and cherished and getting things from others just because. So he looked lost for a few seconds before he sighed, clearly giving up.

“Thank you”.

Thrym smiled at him, his affection warm in his eyes..

The rest of breakfast went on in peaceful chatter before Loki stood and looked at Thor.

“Come on” Loki gestured to Thor “Your present awaits”.

Thor smiled at him and thought about the romantic idea he had for Loki..

He bowed his head to Laufey and Thrym and stood as well, following Loki out after he pushed his chair back in..

Laufey watched them both leave and smirked at Thrym..

“Did you see what I see?”.

Thrym blinked at him “Aye, I did”.

Laufey smiled at him, then reached forward to pick at the rest of his meal..

“Fools in love, I say” he said, his voice filled with affection.

Thrym nodded, but it was not what he saw. The way Thor followed Loki around, the only thing he saw was a young man who treated his husband like a child..

***.

The fog dusted the plains when they reached them, painting everything a dull sort of color. It should have been depressing, given the aura around the plains, but to Thor, they were anything but..

He was all but jumping in his seat and Loki found it extremely endearing as he watched him..

Ever since Thor had discovered what his surprise was, he couldn’t contain himself. He had packed as though he was a hurricane, blabbing on and on, laughing and jumping and utterly delighted in his excitement. His eyes were wide, his face was flushed and he couldn’t stop grinning!.

It was the best present he had ever gotten..

For the past three years, Loki had heard and put up with Thor begging him to take him to the annual jousting tournament in the southern plains of the capital..

It was a nine hour carriage ride from the palace, but to Thor, it was something worth experiencing. He would have given his right arm to get a chance to take part in this and he had begged Loki, at one point he had gotten on his knees to take him there. He was old enough, he was desperate to go..

Loki, of course, had refused..

It started decades ago, when Laufey was a young lad..

Ofridr was born when the times of Knights and Kings was unbalanced, when the thrones of various kingdoms still existed. When Knights were powerful lords and held manors to their names, where everything was unsafe and legends were born..

The fiercest knight amongst them was known as Lord Fimbulvetr, a monster of a man, twice the size of any, they said, able to crush men into dust. He had an entire legend to his name, great and everlasting..

But something happened to him and he was then forgotten, left in the very snow he was claimed to die within..

The tournaments carried on after a few years of mourning, then he was nothing..

Now, the tournaments were a huge affair, royalty and peasants mixed together for a chance to battle it out, man to man. There were tents being set up as families of large or small estate came to settle within the plains..

The plains were huge, settled between a ring of mountains that gave the feeling of complete and utter isolation. Carriages, horses, Jotuns and food were aplenty. This was a time of the year when the poor made lots of money, when Knights came to gain sponsors for their matches, where they won lands, manors and even spouses if they wanted. There was nothing that was safe in these matches..

And then, the deaths..

Loki feared them the most..

Like Thor, Sigyn had wanted to go and Loki let him. He came back the next day, pale as death, seeking solace in Loki’s arms..

He had been a warrior, he had seen violent deaths, but here? No, even he could not stomach it..

Over the past few years the violence, which was solely driven by the desperation to gain money, had faded, which was why Loki had chosen to bring Thor here..

And oh, what a decision it was..

When their carriage stopped in the gentle swell of land reserved for them, Thor all but leapt out of the carriage, making Loki laugh..

He took in the scene, watched as Jotuns set up their temporary homes, their stalls, stables and everything that needed to be set up..

It was a three day event, but like Loki, many came a few days before to enjoy time with their families and help those who catered the huge mass of people, sell their wares..

Thor, wrapped up safely in a fur lined cloak, stood, watching as striped and stitched tents were pulled up, as boundary walls were being set up around the perimeter to keep the wildlife at bay..

It was magical and he gave an excited laugh before he turned and saw Loki coming forth..

“Thank you!”.

He ran to him and pulled him into his arms, spinning him around..

Their staff, led by Hodr, chuckled as Loki, their future king, was lifted around the waist and spun around in the thin fog and snow..

Hodr was dressed in thick, warm clothes, his grey eyes scanning the area as he had men look around for sturdy ground to set their tents in. Since there were fourteen men with the royal couple, they were sharing seven tents..

There were guards, cooks and servants, all of them there for the comfort and luxury of Thor and Loki..

They found surface beneath the ice with was soft enough and strong enough to take the weight of their tent and Hodr ordered them to set up camp..

He turned to his side, to a mop of red hair and grinned.

“Freezing your arse off already, Loptr?”.

Loptr, slim, graceful and pretty, gave him a long, dry glare “Of course not. Why would I ever freeze anything off in this wasteland?”.

He was not keen on this whole venture, which was the main reason Hodr dragged him to it. It was nice, seeing someone so pretty stay without the amenities he scoffed at in the palace..

It had been years of Hodr listening to Loptr complain over and over about how he was a servant. Now, he would know what it is like to life like someone other than a palace servant..

His big grey eyes were looking at the guards and Loptr huffed as he picked up the carpets which they were all going to spread beneath their tents. He pulled and pulled at one, but it didn’t give and ultimately, he decided to pick up the clay platters, which were large enough to sit in, and set them on the floor..

These were supposed to hold the coals and fire to keep them warm. The plains were freezing enough that even the toughest Jotun would freeze to death if left here without proper covering and heat..

Thor now had Loki’s hand in his and he was so eager to go and see everything that he could hardly stay in one spot..

Loki, who was overlooking everything, felt a tug every now and then and sniggered when he saw his husband..

“Go, Thor” he said, a smile on his face “But be back in an hour, the tents will be up by then”.

Thor turned, unable to stop grinning, and leaned over to give him a kiss.

“An hour, I swear”.

Loptr, his gaze slit, watched the bastard run off and grunted as he and Hodr picked up the gas canisters which the cooks would use to prepare their meals..

Since they were rather limited, the cooks were instructed only to make dinner – nothing else. There was food aplenty for them to eat at the fairs that would take place before and during the tournament..

Thor watched as the fog began to dissipate the deeper he went into the plains. The people, the warmth, the aroma of delicious food was battling against and easily winning the fog. He could not see further into the distance..

Ofridr was a crowded, colorful scene. The exhaustion Thor felt as sitting in a carriage for nine hours faded the more he looked around..

Since they were at the borders, near the thick boundary wall, they had relatively more privacy. Not that Thor wanted it. He wanted to be in the middle of it, where pie sellers, broth stalls, dried meats, vegetable and fruit stands were set up. He wanted to see the flying banners and gawk at the insignias on them..

These, Thor realized, awed, were what he had heard of, what he had longed to see for so long..

The tents of the Knights..

This entire area was dedicated to the men battling each other three days from this day, this was where legends would be born..

Everyone was busy in their own work but as Thor went further, looking at the many, many things on sale, he was starting to get recognized..

The Jotuns were awed, then they smiled to him, calling him over, wanting him to sample their wares. Thor wasn’t yanked on, no. if he came to them, they were happy..

So Thor went to each one and within a few minutes, he had a young boy with a big wicker basket behind him, carrying everything Thor was given..

There was a bag of pie slices in his hand as he walked onwards, then came to the stands..

Aye, these were the stuff of legends..

They were still being constructed, nothing more than wooden skeletons at this point, but when they were done, Thor was sure that they were going to look magnificent!.

Stands and boxes would all be filled with the people who came to see, dressed in their best..

Thor’s heart was beating loudly and he closed his eyes, imagining himself here..

Oh, how wondrous it would be!.

“Oh, you cannot be serious!”.

“Aye, look, there is no one there, we can get away with it if we are fast enough!”.

Thor turned and blinked when he saw four young Jotuns, possibly his age, arguing..

They had two horses held between them and two lances. They had no armor, but thick wooden shields. All four of them were lithe and Thor frowned when he saw them..

It was clear they were squires, by their clothes and manner of talking so Thor stood to listen..

“The fence is up, we can have a few rounds before anyone finds out!”.

His name was Jognar and he was elder than the others, possibly the only one closest to Thor in age..

His plan was simple. They had horses, they were squires and they watched the joust every year. They knew what went on and what they had to do. It was easy..

So, while everyone was on an hour long lunch break, they were going to have a joust. The guards were busy eating from the many stalls scattered around so they had relative privacy. Jognar was confident that it would work, the other two, were not..

Thor, standing there, listening to them, felt a thrill go through him as he heard Jognar state that he did this every year. It was easy, they would not get caught. It was clear that his companions wanted to but were afraid of the consequences..

Thor could see them hesitate, then he saw them surrender and agree. They would do it..

Smiling softly, Thor watched them bicker for a few more minutes before they went to the stands, taking their weapons with them..

Unable to resist, Thor followed them when they went to the stands. True to Jognar’s word, not one stopped them and they separated, going to either side of the yet unbuilt stands and started to prepare themselves. One of the young ones was appointed as the person who would wave the flag and start them off. Jognar and the other took their place opposite each other and Thor stood silently watching them. He knew they had seen him but maybe they had yet to recognize him..

They didn’t seem bothered by him as they started their game..

Thor had his arms crossed over his large chest and he watched. He had never seen this before and stayed away, happy to watch..

There was little jousting, really, because all they did was yell about, fix things, then have a run. Their horses would go in different directions or not have enough speed, which left it seriously lacking..

Jognar saw Thor chuckle but said nothing; it was common knowledge that anyone who bothered Prince Thor would have to answer to Loki..

And he knew that Prince Loki could be merciless when he wanted..

So Jognar kept at their play, letting the Prince watch and passed their hour of entertainment. It was barely enough to keep Thor interested, so by the end, when they stopped, Thor simply turned and walked off, leaving them behind. They gathered their belongings while Thor made his way back, his arms tucked under his sides as he went to where his tent was..

It was getting dark and soon he and Loki would be alone in their tent. Thor would tell him about the entire fair, the jousting, his enthusiasm for it..

And then, when they would go to bed….

Thor smiled softly and shut his eyes..

Tonight was the night – Thor was sure of it..

***.

Loki looked up when the flap leading to their sleeping section opened and smiled as Thor walked in. he had been reading and marked his book before he closed it..

“How was it, darling?”.

The tent was divided into two sections. One was a living section, where there was sitting furniture, a small dining table, a divan, a wardrobe, trunks filled with things they would need and carpets which covered the ground. It was decorated in subtle shades of reds and greens and it was a large tent, as royalty was expected to have..

Loki was lying on their thick, fur covered divan and pat the bed so Thor could come in..

Thor smiled and walked over, giving Loki a kiss on the head before he sat with him..

“So far, they are just preparing the stalls” he told Loki “but the fence and the frame of the stands are almost done. I had a walk around and saw a few boys trying to joust”.

He looked at Loki, his big blue eyes shining, his face flushed “It was wonderful, I can’t wait for the rest of it”.

Loki smiled and cupped Thor’s cheek, using his thumb to wipe a bit of dirt he found on his cheekbone..

“Did you see the food stalls?” he asked.

Thor nodded, all enthusiasm and delight, reminding him a little of the child he had met. Thor was still the same boy Loki had met, but most of the time Loki didn’t get to see it. He was a man now, more reserved, mature but still as kind as he was before. He was a lovely person, inside and out and Loki was truly blessed to have him in his life..

“Aye” Thor said, making a face “But they didn’t have anything worth having, I kept thinking about that roast chicken we had a few days before we came here. The one with the lemon sprinkled on top.”.

Loki snickered “Is food all you think about, Thor?”.

And there, right there, Thor saw his chance..

He looked at Loki, trying to think of words, of how to begin. He wanted to be romantic but now didn’t seem like the scenario for that, so he would have to be blunt…right?.

Loki noticed Thor’s contemplative look and frowned “Thor?”.

Blinking, the man looked at him and blushed.

“I …”.

Loki frowned, just a little as Thor seemed to hesitate over something, as though unsure of how to say it. he knew that there were times the young man wasn’t confident, mostly when it was something that was important to him, so he waited, not willing to push or discourage him..

“I …” Thor broke off again, frowning, trying to find the correct words..

Loki waited, a hand on Thor’s shoulder.

“Just say it, dear” he said gently.

Thor’s eyes looked into his and he licked his lips before he exhaled, failing yet again to find the proper courage..

When Loki was about to speak, Thor suddenly blurted it out, not half a minute after he was unable to articulate it..

“Why don’t you sleep with me?”.

That, was the last thing Loki expected, really, and it showed on his face as he looked at Thor, surprised..

His mind tried to come up with something suitable to say, to somehow give the answer Thor wanted, but before he could, Thor spoke again..

“I love this gift, I truly do, Loki” he said, looking at his hands rather than his husband “This is beyond what I thought you could give me, but … I … what I truly want is – is…”.

“Is to have sex” Loki finished softly.

Thor looked up, chagrined “No! No, I …” he sighed, frustrated a little “It’s not sex, not for me. It’s you. I want you. We have been married for six years and … I think I am old enough, but…you don’t seem so eager.”.

He managed one look at Loki before he looked back at his hands “Is it because I – I look the way I do?”.

Loki shook his head “No, love, you know it’s not that. You know I love you, you are a handsome young man”.

There was nothing in his tone that indicated that he disliked the thought of the act so Thor waited, watching him..

When Loki didn’t speak for a solid minute, Thor realized he was having just as much trouble as articulating as he had..

“Just say it, dear” Thor said softly.

Loki looked at him and Thor was shocked to see his eyes shining a little..

There was a thin sheen of tears over them..

Thor felt his mouth part in hurt at the sight of them and Loki took a deep breath..

“I don’t think…” Loki whispered “I just…I’m eleven years older than you, Thor…I know that you have high expectations of what to expect, I know that you think sex is something magical, that you want it and I also know that you are excited. But…”.

Thor looked away.

“But I fear I will disappoint you because my heart won’t be in it as much as it should” Loki said softly “Sigyn…”.

“Please don’t say that”.

Loki broke off, looking at him, shocked. Thor had never told him to stop talking about Sigyn, he knew he loved him..

But as he looked at him now, Loki saw hurt, anger and a tiny bit of resentment in his eyes. His young, vulnerable eyes..

“How can you ever expect yourself to be ready when you keep making me compete with him?” Thor asked.

Loki gasped “Thor, no that is not…”.

“That is exactly what it is” even Thor’s voice was hurt “Yes, we kiss and do other things but whenever you stop, whenever you tell me ‘alright, that’s enough, love’, you might as well have him here, pushing me away from you”.

Loki gaped.

“I love you, Loki” Thor said “But I don’t think you feel the same way about me, not when you have a memory standing between us acting as a barrier”.

At a loss of words, Loki reached out for him, but stared as Thor pulled away from him and stood..

“Thor” he called.

Thor didn’t listen, he walked to the exit of their small chambers..

“Thor!”.

Nothing, Thor walked out, taking his cloak with him, leaving Loki there, shocked by his own actions and those that Thor had just displayed. His eyes were wide, his face pale and he realized, just then, that he had badly hurt his husband..

Loki pushed the covers off himself and ran out, uncaring that he was barefoot, his thick warm robes flying with every movement..

When he pushed the flaps open and walked out to see Thor storming away..

“Thor!”.

A few servants turned to look at him and Thor spun around, making Loki run to him. he was confused, but it took him a second to grab Loki, especially when the man all but jumped at him..

His eyes went wide when Loki kissed him – right there, in front of everyone..

It was different this time, it was harder and more passionate – Loki had only ever been mild. This was far different and when he broke off, his eyes were glazed with lust..

“Let’s go back” he whispered “And do this”.

Thor was surprised, why was he agreeing to this? Why so soon?.

But at the same time, he realized he was finally going to get what he wanted. His arms tightened around Loki and he took him back into the tent..

And everyone knew what was going to happen..

***.

Loki huffed as he was thrown on the bed, then grabbed Thor’s shoulders as the man leaned over him, before pressing their lips together. Thor groaned into his mouth, his eyes shut, his body tense in anticipation. He was thrumming, reminding Loki of rumbling thunder..

Thor had a talent for kissing, Loki knew and he felt his undisguised shiver of passion. Thor kept his mouth pressed to his, willing him so respond the way he wanted. Loki knew he wanted him, perhaps more than Loki did, but all the crowned prince had to do was get past the defenses he has erected..

And it proved harder than he thought..

He gave a loud gasp when Thor’s cold hands slipped beneath his robes and Thor was delighted, taking it as a sound of excitement. He saw himself as a true husband now, as someone who had a set future with Loki..

Loki’s kisses were hesitant, but he started to form an automatic response to Thor, making the younger man feel delighted. He felt Loki’s fingers clench in his clothes and broke the kiss off, straddling Loki as he pulled his cloak off..

Loki was watching him, his hair spilled beneath him, his eyes half lidded..

He let Thor undress him after, making a small noise, which Thor took as encouragement, when Thor threw his tunic and vests off, leaving him completely bare..

This was the first time Thor had seen him like this, naked and in bed. Before they had bathed and played in the water together, but this was different and Loki wanted to cover himself. Thor was watching him, adoration shining in his eyes, hope illuminated them..

He was finally going to claim Loki, make him his. To him, it was pure, to Loki, it was something else..

It felt like a duty..

Like a mistake, but he didn’t voice his opinion..

Thor was hard within his trousers, eager to have what was before him and gently, looking at Loki, he held the waistband of his trousers..

He swallowed thickly, licking his kiss swollen lips.

“M-May I?”.

And how Loki could have said no. he knew Thor would have stopped, that was not the problem. But the fact that he felt like he owed this to Thor made him nod..

Yes, he would let Thor have it, he would let him be happy..

It was not like it was wrong, right?.

Loki felt Thor shudder in arousal and a second later, his trousers were pulled off and away, leaving him bare for Thor..

Thor couldn’t resist looking at him and bit his lip because Loki was beautiful. He wanted to touch and kiss him so badly, he wanted to have him..

Thor ran his hands from Loki’s hips, up his body and into his hair, before he lowered himself over his body, his own larger one covering him completely..

“I love you so much” he whispered “I will prove it, you won’t regret it.”.

He kissed him again, slotting their mouths better together, and Loki realized that Thor was wrong. He was going to regret this..

And it would have nothing to do with Thor, it was his own mind, which was making him do this. His own tormented, hurt and unwilling mind..

He was going to ruin their relationship and he didn’t even know it. To Loki, it was something he was doing out of love..

But it was going to be destructive..

Later, after Thor was done, after he had heard Loki’s wet gasps by his ear as he pushed in and out, as he felt Loki’s nails rake his back, feel him clench around him, felt his slim body press against his own muscled one, he lay asleep, holding his lover tightly..

He was at peace, having had the experience he wanted for so long..

But Loki lay there, his eyes focused on the point where the tent met, where there was a tiny opening, which let out the smoke that came from the burning coals in their chambers..

For a long time, he didn’t move, for a long time he thought he was alright..

But later, when the dawn started to hit the skies, when Thor’s hold felt smothering, Loki placed a hand over his mouth and shut his eyes, muffling his own voice..

And he wept.

Very, very softly, he barely moved..

But he wept, feeling as though everything inside him burned, as though his soul was breaking. There was pain surrounding him as he realized what he had allowed Thor to do to him..

He should have said no, he shouldn’t have agreed..

But it was done, the mistake was made. And Loki would have to live with it..

But what was worse was that Thor would have to live with it, too. And he had no fault in this..

All he wanted was his love and Loki had ruined it..

He had destroyed it.


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A plan begins to form and revenge is slowly being taken

_Skies thundered above them, angry, reflecting the desperate mood of their maker. The few who were awake and still outside, looked up at the skies, then turned around to search for shelter, dropping whatever they were doing. They knew what thunder and lightning was a herald to, they knew who would come for them if they were still awake._

_Rushing to what was left of their homes, the Jotuns fled to their families, wanting to protect as many as they can before the Jotun Slayer came for them. The children were protected, the lights were doused, the worst was prepared for as they kept glancing over at the direction the Aesir camp was set._

_It was like an omen to them, no snow surrounded it, a ring of nothing but barren land and death._

_It was where their men went to die._

_The Aesir camp was silent now, not a soul moved outside, all of them under a gentle spell which set them into a deep slumber until the caster deemed it fit to lift the curse._

_But the caster, as it was, had no intention of doing anything other than escape the mountain of troubles he had gained for himself._

_The tent was filled with soft whimpers as Halvor lay on the rug he’d fallen on, his hands covering his face as he wept. He could hear the voices, the pain and anger behind him and he refused to acknowledge it._

_It couldn’t be real._

_Loki turned his head away and Thor hissed in irritation, the strip of leather in his hand clutched tightly. He growled and grabbed Loki’s hair, making him rasp in pain, before he forced his head back to where he wanted._

_Loki’s angry green eyes glared at him as Thor put the leather over his lips, then tied it firmly behind his head. He was panting heavily and looked at him, rage apparent in his eyes. Loki had been forced into a chair, his hands chained behind him, his torso and ankles tied to it. The gag was the last bit of insult Thor forced on him._

_Thor straightened and brushed his hair back, breathing heavily. He looked at his hand, the back where Loki had sunk his teeth in and extracted blood._

_The conflict had been short but hard. The moment Thor grabbed Loki to force him to stay, Loki had fought and this was the end result._

_A rough laugh escaped Thor and he looked at Loki, showing him his hand._

_“Really?” he said “You stooped so low?”_

_He waved his hand a little, the sting starting to register now that his blood was flowing at a normal pace._

_“And here I thought we would have a better reunion”_

_Loki slit his eyes. His hair fell over his eyes, his beautiful face, but did nothing to quell his rage. It was heightened, if nothing else._

_Thor smirked at his expression “So bitter. One would think you have reason to be offended, Loki”_

_He laughed at the way Loki turned away in his rage and allowed himself a second of regret before he looked to where Halvor lay. The boy was whimpering and crying, making Thor feel worse._

_Thor stomped over to him and Halvor gasped, looking up the second Thor reached down to grab him._

_“No!”_

_Loki turned back, his eyes wide, all hint of anger gone. He was scared, not for himself, but for Halvor. The way Thor held him stopped his heart and Loki yelled through the gag, trying to get him to stop._

_Thor grabbed Halvor’s thin arms and shook him, making him cry out, making his hair fall over his face as he looked at him, trembling._

_“You say one word of this to anyone” Thor rasped, looking into his scared grey eyes “And I will twist your neck”_

_Halvor shrieked when Thor jolted him_

_“Understand!?”_

_He looked at his master, his eyes watery, his face red – and nodded. He wouldn’t tell anyone._

_“Good”_

_Thor let him go, shoving him back, and Halvor fell on his rear. He didn’t dare look up, not even when Thor turned away and grabbed his cloak, not when he headed to the flap of the tent, not when he picked up his hammer and walked out as though nothing was out of the ordinary._

_HE couldn’t look up._

_He just couldn’t._

***

The next morning, Thor was in a delightful mood. Some would have sworn his feet didn’t touch the ground as he emerged from his tent that morning and because of the display last night, nearly everyone knew why.

Loki hadn’t so much as kissed Sigyn on the cheek when they were married. And he hurled himself into Thor’s arms and kissed him passionately before everyone.

Dare say, the prince of Jotunhiem possibly loved Prince Thor more than his first husband. He had changed, really he had. He was happy, he was smiling and ran around with the prince on his tail.

It was like two young lovers rather than grown men.

And it warmed the hearts of those who watched.

A few of them sniggered as Thor walked out – floated out – all bundled in is cloaks and furs, going to where his servants were making some sort of breakfast. The stable boys bit their lips to smother their laughter as Thor picked up a tray and demanded that it be filled with Loki’s favorite…or what was their best.

Chuckling, they obliged and Thor waited outside, rubbing his hands together every now and then before he was presented with two bowls of piping hot porridge and some fruit. He thanked them and headed back to the tent where Loki was still in bed.

Thor walked into the living area of the tent, two steaming bowls of porridge with him. He set them on the table then started setting out utensils. Halvor was not here yet but Thor didn’t mind. He was happy doing this for his Loki.

Loki, who was currently cleaning himself in the bedroom.

He stood by a large bowl, his eyes unfocused, clearly lost in thought. He was scrubbing his arms and torso. They were a little red, on account of the water being very hot.

Loki felt tainted, he felt – used.

And he wanted the feeling off. It felt like the dirt had settled in his pores, he reeked of it.

He wanted it off.

There was soap beside the dish, too and Loki had used it a few times. He wanted to ask for a tub but he knew that this was no time for it.

And he didn’t want to risk Thor seeing him naked again.

Which was why he was performing this ritual behind their screen.

He could hear Thor and looked to the side, to the screen. He focused his hearing a little and sighed because Thor has gotten them breakfast and right now, Loki was not in the mood.

Pushing the scrub down, Loki snapped his fingers.

The water lifted, rising out of the large dish, steaming hot. Slipping out of his pants and standing there bare, Loki spread his arms and the water slipped over him, wetting and warming his entire body. The soap lifted next, lathering him up before he once more ran the water over him, making it dirty and soapy before floating back into the dish.

Loki kicked his pants aside, grabbed a towel robe and put it around himself. He stepped out to wear his clothes were, the carpet nice and warm beneath his feet, pulled out thick, warm pants and a tunic, before he went behind the screen.

Two more minutes were he dressed in his nightwear, and Loki was walking out. He didn’t look up when Thor walked in and got right into bed, curling up and closing his eyes.

“Loki?” Thor asked, his voice soft “What’s wrong?”

Loki looked at him, saw the worry in his face and closed his eyes again. Thor’s worried face and features were etched in his mind.

This mental state of his was Loki’s burden to bear, not Thor’s this was his fault, thus he would take it, hold it up until he overcame it.

Or till it crushed him

“I’m just tired” he whispered, letting out a long, deep breath “It’s been a while since …”

He looked at Thor through half lidded eyes, hiding his truth from him.

“Since I indulged in that particular activity”

Thor smiled, his teeth shining in the dim light “Well, I have to say…”

He moved closer, sitting next to him, putting his hands on either side of him, looking down, caging him.

“You haven’t lost your touch”

He leaned down and kissed him, his eyes falling shut.

To his immense relief, Loki realized he liked kissing him, it was good.

He sighed deeply, contented and Thor groaned softly.

Their kisses, as always, started off with small ones, then ended with Thor’s arms sliding behind Loki’s back, pressing them both chest to chest, head tilted to the side, mouths slotted together. Loki’s hands cradled Thor’s face, his thumbs stroked his cheeks.

Thor breathed against his lips, rubbing his soft mouth against them, then licking them, parting them and slipping his tongue in.

Loki felt arousal ripple over him and he opened his mouth, moaning when Thor licked the roof of his mouth, making him shudder.

His large hands moved Loki like he weighted nothing, his body got further on top, Lokis hips turned to the side as Thor started to caress his bottom.

It felt pleasurable and Loki gasped loudly when Thor gave him a rough squeeze, looking into his eyes.

“If you weren’t exhausted” Thor said, kissing him again, making Loki whimper “I would take you again”

It was like a dash of cold water over him and Loki had only a second to cover the reality of how that truly made him feel. Thor was busy looking at his mouth, busy lowering his own to it and Loki was spared the answer he would no doubt demand if he wasn’t distracted.

Loki didn’t want to do it again.

But he knew he would have to.

Unless he was truthful and told Thor.

Kissing and all was nice, but this?

Loki didn’t know why he couldn’t take that last step.

Thor was kissing down his neck and it was only his reassurance that he wasn’t going to take him that prevented Loki from shoving him off. He sighed and leaned his head back as Thor pulled away, turned his head to the side…

And sneezed.

Loki blinked at him, at the shocked way Thor looked at him, his big blue eyes wide.

“I’ve never done that before”

And that, more than anything, made Loki start laughing. His voice was deep and rich, filling the room with relief, laughter and perhaps a little hope.

Thor grinned and shook his head as Loki was taken over by mirth, then kissed his cheek and straightened.

“Let me get you porridge” he said, getting to his feet “before it gets too cold”

Loki hummed and settled further into the bedding, watching Thor leave. Thor’s blue eyes were fixed on his and Loki sighed in contentment as his husband left to bring them both a breakfast in bed.

***

“Mm, I have a question”

Thor, who lay across the width of the bed, his head propped on Loki’s hip, looked at him. Loki lay on his side, one hand propping his head up as his elbow lay buried somewhere between their pillows. His hair fell over his eyes and he flicked them back, tipping his head to the side as he suckled on an orange slice.

Loki had the oddest way of eating oranges, Thor had seen this years ago. He put them between his lips and bit them enough to have the pulp freed. He would suckle on it for a few seconds before devouring the entire thing.

As a boy, it was odd, as a man … it was highly arousing.

Thor had an urge to dip his fingers in the cream before them and have Loki give them the same treatment.

Gods above, what a dream that would be.

But as it was, he sensed not all was right with Loki. There was something amiss and he feared it was related to last night. They had shared something very important, perhaps Loki was regretting it?

Oh, Thor feared that wasn’t the case. He didn’t think he would be able to think if Loki regretted sleeping with him.

Thor would not be able to handle it.

His thoughts, as dire as they were, jolted when Loki bucked his hips because he had missed something he said.

“Aye, sorry” Thor winced “I got lost in thought”

“Oh really?” Loki asked, picking up another slice “I never noticed”

Thor smiled and took Loki’s wrist in his hand before he could have the peel. It made Loki blink, but he allowed him to bring the slice to Thor’s lips and let him have it.

Thor chewed as he watched him, nodding “What was your question?”

Loki rolled his eyes and picked up another slice to feed his monster.

“When have you been the most embarrassed?”

He fed Thor the slice he had and Thor hummed, linking his hands over his chest.

“It was in Jotunhiem, actually” he told Loki as he ate “I was in the bath, you were sleeping, or so I thought”

Loki started to snicker, his body shaking “Oh, gods, I remember that”

“It was not funny”

“It was!” Loki insisted, shaking his head “You thought no one would hear you sing, Thor?”

“Hey, I was learning!” Thor defended, but no real heat there “You weren’t supposed to hear!”

That made Loki laugh harder, hand his head back and actually laugh.

“Dross comes from bad iron; the reindeer often races over the frozen snow!” Loki sang, his voice loud and obnoxious “Giant causes anguish to women; misfortune makes few men cheerful!”

“Loki!” Thor whined, hitting the back of his head against his hip.

Loki stopped laughing, albeit slowly, sniggering and giggling as he wiped his eyes and looked at Thor.

“Oh, gods, I will tell our children about that” Loki laughed, rubbing the side of his eye “They will never think of you as the same, their adorable, loving…”

He broke off, confused when he saw Thor staring at him.

He often stared, but not … not this love struck. He never looked this ‘dopey’.

“What?” Loki asked, wondering if there was something on his face “Why are you looking at me like that?”

Thor smiled, his eyes shining in elation, his soul soaring in hope.

“You said ‘our children’” Thor said softly, looking into his beautiful eyes

Loki blinked at him, surprise slipping over him and dusting his cheeks pink.

“Well” he cleared his throat, looking at the bed “I mean, of course, that is … is where this is headed after all…”

Thor grinned wider when he saw Loki getting flustered of all things.

“I mean, it’s bound to happen with the way…”

Sheets slid together and he looked up when he felt Thor move, just in time to receive a kiss to his lips.

It was not heated, but it was passionate, filled with love and joy.

Thor pulled back after pressing their lips together for a few long, loving seconds and smiled.

“I like it when you can’t talk properly”

Loki narrowed his eyes and watched him retake his position at his hip “You will like it more when I refuse talking to you”

Thor chuckled “Oh, as if you could…”

He broke off, sneezing so loudly and suddenly that he shook the bed and startled Loki.

The elder man looked at him, taken aback.

“Thor, whatever is the matter with you?”

Thor sniffed and lay back, wincing “Sorry”

Upon impulse, Loki leaned over and placed a hand on his forehead.

“Oh, dear…”

The dire tone of his voice instantly alerted Thor and he stared at Loki in unconcealed horror

“No, no no, I can’t be sick, the knights arrive day after tomorrow!”

Loki grimaced, feeling terrible, and sighed “I’m sorry, dear”

Thor looked heartbroken and Loki brushed his hair back, looking into his sad eyes.

“Lie down and rest” he said “I will get you better in no time, alright? We caught it early, we will defeat it”

Thor immediately sat up and Loki collected their used plates, picking them put and standing to put them somewhere else.

Thor got under the covers and lay back, looking at Loki as thought Loki would be able to fix him. He’d done it before – a lot – he could do it again.

Loki gave him a promising look and went to put the plates and bowls away.

“Don’t worry, it is just a cold” he called, going to his medicine cabinet “It will fix under my care, you will be fit in not time”

For the sake of the joust, Thor hoped Loki was right.

***

Loki was wrong and Thor groaned miserably as he lay on the bed, feeling like he was swallowing sand.

He had a high fever, he felt hot and Loki kept putting the covers over him again and again to let him sweat it out.

Thor hated it and he gave Loki a baleful look as the man walked in with a large steaming bowl, two smaller ones, a glass of some red fluid he hated instantly, and a platter of dried meat, that Thor was interested in immediately.

“Is that beef?” he asked, his voice raspy and hoarse “Because I won’t eat anything if I can’t have that”

Loki, ever the patient one, knew how to handle Thor and smiled

“Well, this is all going in you” he said “Through the front or back end, so you best behave”

Thor pouted at him and Loki did not take it to heart. He knew the poor dear was sick and disheartened because he was going to miss out on the jousting.

It had already been two days and tomorrow the Knights were due. Thor was going to hear all of it and miss it.

And he hated the feeling, so a little anger was justified.

Thor looked away and heard the clinking of the bowls, spoons and other things, as Loki worked about. He heard shuffling and saw Loki approaching him with the juice.

“Pomegranate” Loki told him, sitting at his hip “It will help with the healing. Have this and I will bring you the rest”

“I don’t want it” Thor said, voice hoarse

“Then you won’t get better” Loki said matter of factly, his voice soft

He placed the juice beside Thor on the bedside and stood, going to finish the rest. He didn’t insist and he didn’t push, but as he divided up the dried beef and soup, he heard the gentle click, which told him that Thor had put the glass down again.

Loki smiled a little and went to get a small table he could set beside Thor. His bare feet made no noise as he walked to their living area, picking up a low table, before he turned to bring it back.

Sure enough, the juice was gone and Thor was back to moping. Loki set the table beside him, the furniture half a foot shorter than the bed, then picked up the juice and carried it to where he had placed their lunch.

Two of their trunks were currently acting as their counter and Loki set the glass on it before he came to bring the food over.

“The food stalls are still setting” Loki said, putting the soups on the table “If we are lucky, they will be delayed for another day and by then you will be well enough to go”

Thor huffed and lay back, looking at the top of the tent “I don’t want to talk about it, Loki”

Loki looked at him, then nodded and picked up Thor’s lunch, nudging him to take it. After a few more seconds of indulging himself by sulking, Thor did, and he looked his husband in the eye before he sighed

“Thank you, Loki” his voice was rough

Loki smiled at him “No need to thank me, dear”

He picked up his own helping and took a spoonful, blowing on it before eating it.

“Mm…”

Loki turned at Thor’s pleased sound

“It’s good” Thor croaked

Loki hummed in agreement and then took another bite, while Thor started to get focused on his dried meats.

“How many times have you been here before?” Thor asked, looking at Loki

He was having some meat and bit it, chewing a little before he spoke.

“Well” he said “I think this is my fourth trip here”

He looked at Thor

“Sadly, I am not very fond of the blood and gore as you seem to be”

Thor chuckled “You are getting old, you mean, your fragility will not let you enjoy this”

“Ah, of course” Loki smiled “How could I forget that?”

Thor made a face at him “It’s no fun when you simply agree with me, you know”

Loki sniggered and gave him a knowing look “I know”

Rolling his eyes, Thor went back to his lunch. Loki poked around in his soup, picking out what he liked as he sat there.

“Did you come here with Sigyn?” Thor asked

Loki looked at him, a little surprised “Ah, yes. Once I came here with him, twice with my father. Like you, Sigyn wanted to see this, he wanted to be a part of it”

He sighed and stirred his soup

“He saw a man’s head get decapitated” Loki told Thor “When his rival’s spear went through his face. It ripped his head off”

Thor felt his blood run cold and stared at Loki, his eyes wide. The color drained from his face and Loki looked at him.

“He looked just like you do right now” Loki told him “He couldn’t sleep for a very long time, he would hold me and shiver all night”

Thor gulped “H-He still competed?”

“Oh, no he backed out’ Loki told Thor “He couldn’t do it. It was frightening for him”

There was silence after and Thor sat there, contemplating.

Loki smiled a little “Forgive me, I should not have told you”

Thor looked at him and said nothing.

The rest of their meal was finished in silence and Thor watched Loki pick everything up after

“Where is Halvor?” he asked “He usually does this”

Loki shrugged “He went to see everything, like you want, but there is hardly anything there and he came back exhausted”

Thor nodded and lay down better, watching him

“Why are you so kind?”

Loki smiled as he set everything aside

“Because I have you”

That made Thor blink

“What?” he asked, confused

Loki smirked as he set out a few candles that they would use once night fell and picked up a robe.

“I think I would have turned into a bitter old man” Loki said “If it wasn’t for you”

Thor didn’t say a word and Loki came to sit at the foot of their bed

“I truly believe that” Loki told him “I was heartbroken and I was alone. And though at the beginning, I wasn’t too keen on it, you ended up making me who I am”

Thor smiled and felt his face heat up a little

“You don’t have to say nice things to me”

“And why not?” Loki smiled “You are the only one who can be sweet?”

Thor didn’t reply and Loki gave him a warm smile, then leaned over to kiss his head before he stood.

“I am going to the living area” he said, brushing Thor’s hair back “Try and sleep, but call for me if you need anything”

“I will” Thor said, taking his hand before he could pull it back

He planted a kiss on the inside of Loki’s wrist and Loki let out a calming breath.

It felt good.

Pleased with the reaction he’d gotten, Thor let Loki go, a twinkle in his eyes. Loki smiled at him and turned to go.

Though the kisses were lovely, Thor was perfect, Loki found he was a little glad that he was indisposed.

For he didn’t think he could handle another night in bed with him.

Not now, not when he had managed to start putting those feelings or revulsion behind him.

Not now.

***

The morning after, was the one Thor was apprehensive of.

He was fast asleep on the bed, all by himself. Since he was sick, he didn’t want Loki to get it and it was agreed that Loki would sleep on a pallet on the floor. Loki didn’t mind; it was closer to the coals and the furs and rugs beneath him made it a wonderfully cozy little bed. And if it gave Thor more space to sprawl about without crushing Loki, then it was a plus.

His fever was still high, the poor young man tossed and turned in his bed, but that was not what woke him or Loki.

It was the commotion that started outside, the yelling, clattering and excited squeals of joy.

And of course, Halvor

“The Knights are here!” he ran in through their flap, cloak and furs dusted with snow “The Knights are here, the Knights…”

He entered their bedchambers and stopped, wincing when he saw Loki sitting up, clearly disturbed from his slumber, and give him a sleepy glare. His hair was completely ruffled and he looked like a very offended cat.

He even had those blazing green eyes – levelled at Halvor in irritation.

“Sorry” Halvor whispered, casting a glance to Thor.

Luckily, the man could sleep through just about anything and hadn’t moved.

“I’ll just…” Halvor whispered, retreating

“Don’t move” Loki said, brushing his hair back “Tell that red haired boy … Loptr, to have a tub and heated water brought over. Prince Thor needs to bathe today”

Halvor nodded, then looked at Thor “Is he still very ill?”

“Aye” Loki sighed, feeling sad “And no one will mention the fact that the Knights have arrived, understand? He is already heartbroken over being here and missing them. I will spend the day with him, distract him enough to ensure he doesn’t miss them”

“Of course, my lord” Halvor bowed before he turned and left to do as he was asked.

Loki sighed and turned his head to look at Thor, blinkingly sleepily for a while before he groaned and fell back onto the pallet.

He lay on his back, his eyes shut, mid-stretch. His hand was buried in his hair, his loose sleeve fell back, revealing his pale elbow and arm.

His eyes were closed and he dozed off a little while later, comforted by the bedding beneath him. It was silent in the room, so that was helping, too.

The flap to their tent opened soundlessly.

Two booted feet walked in, making no noise on the carpet as they proceeded, letting the flap shut behind him.

Him

He hadn’t seen Loki in years, eight years, to be exact.

His one blind eye was patched up, his bald head covered with a cap worn around the edges from use. He was tall, darker than most Jotuns because of his time spent running through other realms.

His name – Well he had a lot of names, changing over the years as he travelled from place to place, hiding from the men after him – was Roddick, his history with the Jotun royal family was strong.

Eight years ago, he had escaped in a riot, he had been given the chance to get revenge on the royal family. He had been close, so close to takin from Laufey the way he had taken from him – only to have it snatched from him.

When he was convicted for murder and sentenced for execution, he had lost his family. They left him, claiming to want nothing to do with him.

He had begged, pleaded with them to stay, to fight for him, but no. He was to go to jail and they would never see him again.

Roddick had spent the last eight years trying to find them, but even with his anonymity and his physical changes, he could not find them.

The frustration mounted upon his head, the anger soon building up – against himself, against Laufey – to a point where it just needed to be let out.

He became angry, he lost control.

He killed when he was angry, he was a monster.

There were brands upon him, marking him as someone who would be killed on sight and those brands angered him more.

His anger reached a point where it burned, tore him apart, trying to find a focus.

It was chaotic and he managed to lose himself so much to it that he attempted to kill himself. It was the only way, the only thing that would bring him peace. He had wanted to leap off the highest cliff he could find, simply ending it. he found the cliff, he found the courage and he had been standing on the edge, over looking the plains of Jotunhiem, where Ofridr was taking place.

The jousting and the food, the stalls, stands and tents were all in the distance, but visible to him. Happy, loving people with loving families. They had children, lives that they loved.

Him?

All he had was this and the freedom he would feel in the time it took him to fall from here and hit the ground, that was all.

He was eager to get it to it, angry at himself, at his life, at …

His thoughts were brought to a halt.

Roddick almost heard it, the screech they gave, like nails raking down a wall.

His eye, the one that still worked, could not believe it. blinking to see if he was mistaken or not, he stared, openly.

It was unreal.

But there it was, the royal carriage, Laufey’s royal carriage pulling up, right before his eyes.

Then lo and behold, another miracle!

Laufey’s treasured son, the very one he had almost killed stepped out, with a blonde brute Roddick didn’t recognize.

His eye was wide and he looked at Loki as he stood with his blonde, holding hands, talking to each other as their thins were brought about.

It was truly a miracle, a gift from the Norns themselves. Roddick would end his life, aye, but he was going to make Laufey pay before he did anything.

Smiling, he realized his rage have finally found focus.

All he needed was one chance. Just one.

So, with plan after plan forming in his mind, he stepped back from the ledge and vanished from sight, just as invisible as he would have been if he truly had jumped.

Now, three days later, Roddick saw his chance.

He had hung around, pretending to be a peasant, sleeping in the cold, living on what the others gave him out of the goodness of their hearts. He braved the cold, he marked his position.

These royals, they were so self-involved they didn’t see an enemy even then he was before them. One of them even gave him dinner every night as he sat a little ways off.

To them it was an act of goodwill, to Roddick, it was sheer stupidity.

They were stupid, feeding him, giving him access and information he needed.

Loki – aye, that was Laufey’s child – stayed in the tent, tending to his sick husband.

He had found another.

Roddick would likely kill him, too.

He waited and waited for his chance, he wanted it to be perfect, he wanted it to linger, but with servants and guards – it was difficult.

Until today.

The stupid men ran to greet the Knights after the boy announced it. Every servant left and after a few minutes of being in the tent, so did the lad. He rushed out and left Loki and his husband for him.

And oh, how he intended to enjoy it.

So he had walked in and he had smiled at the warmth in the tent. He suffered out in the cold and Loki slept here.

He looked lovely, if Roddick was honest.

Perhaps if he disposed of the husband, he could have a little fun with him. It had been a while since he sated himself with the pleasures of the flesh.

And to do it to Loki – well, maybe he would be spared after, just so Laufey suffered.

He had a sharp, rusted blade in his hand, he secured the flap to a hook, giving them privacy, then stepped forth, into the bedchambers.

Loki was sleeping on the pallet, his arm bent beside his head, his pale elbow showing. Roddick bit his lip and tried not to moan.

Walking closer, he crouched by Loki, one hand beside his head, the other slowly moving his rusted sword beneath Loki’s chin.

The metal was cold and he saw Loki’s beautiful face twitch before he frowned and opened his eyes.

And froze.

His green eyes recognized him and he opened his mouth to scream or yell, but Roddick placed his hand over his lips, silencing him.

Loki screamed, still, thrashing under him, tipping his head back when he pressed the blade closer.

“Yes, little bitch, I will…”

He broke off as a blast of magic threw him off and he flew through the parting, back into the living area.

“Thor!” Loki shot to his feet and went to his husband

Thor woke immediately, especially when a heavy weight fell on him. He saw Loki’s wide eyes and opened his mouth to ask what was wrong when a man entered their chambers. He was huge, his eyes focused on Loki.

“You took everything from me!” he yelled

Loki was in shock and Thor stood instantly, placing himself between Loki and this monster. He had no weapon, none, and he let Loki make him jump on the bed, following when the man came at them.

“Thor, get out of the tent!” Loki pleaded, turning to face Roddick

Roddick laughed, looking at Loki, then at Thor as the young man fled the chambers.

It was comical to him, slashing and lashing at Loki, who stood upon their bed, keeping him away from his new husband.

Loki’s eyes were wide, his balance was not well, so Roddick slashed at his ankles, laughing when Loki jumped to avoid it.

“Replaced your beloved already?” Roddick mocked “How nice.”

Loki grit his jaw and his hand glowed with magic, but he couldn’t concentrate, his mind going back to that night, when he had last seen this monster.

“I wonder who you will get after I slice him to bits!”

Roddick lunged and Loki yelped as he was tackled, both of them falling on the bed. He looked up and cried out when Roddick punched him across the face, once, twice.

Loki’s lip split and he lay there, dazed, groaning as his world spun. Roddick climbed on top of him, ripping his clothes.

“But I will have fun with you, first!”

“Get off him!”

Loki paled in fear when he heard Thor’s voice and a second later, Roddick was tackled to the ground, both heavily built men crashing against their wardrobe, toppling it. Loki sat up and saw Thor beat Roddick, one hand holding his throat as he held him down, the other punching him over and over in the face

“You will not touch him!” Thor screamed, punching him so hard he felt his nose crack.

Roddick roared and grabbed Thor’s hair, yanking him down before he threw him off and stood, running for the exit.

Loki held his torn clothes to him and screamed for Thor when his husband ran after Roddick

“Thor!” Loki called “Get back here you fool!”

Thor didn’t listen, furious, his eyes blazing in rage, he ran out of the flap Roddick had torn in his bid to escape.

His heavy steps were clearly visible in the snow and Thor gave chase.

Up above, the clouds started to collect, darkening everything around them. His rage fueled them and it became darker and darker.

The Jotuns looked up, confused and wondering where this came from.

Those who knew, turned and headed back to the tent, Halvor in the lead.

They saw the tent in time to see Loki run out, his hair flying behind him as he screamed for his husband, running as fast as he could. He wore long, thick robes as he ran, not even noticing who was around him.

Far ahead, Roddick was running as fast as he could, trying to get away. He could hear Thor behind him, he could hear him catch up. His blade was in his hand and he was going to kill Thor the moment he got close.

The woods were getting darker and it was becoming hard for him to see where he was going. There was no trail to follow, nothing other than the show and thick trees.

And Thor

He was still behind him.

Roddick risked a glance and his eyes widened when he saw Thor mid lunge.

He tackled Roddick and Roddick fell forward, both men rolling down a slope, through the snow and dirt, till they landed in a thick pile of mud.

Roddick had lost his blade and he got on his hands and knees, looking up in time to receive Thor’s heavy boot in his face.

“Bastard!” Thor yelled, grabbing his head in his hands and slamming it into the ground “How dare you touch him!?”

Roddick tried to pull away, the mud had softened the blow, but Thor didn’t let him retreat, he held him firmly, dragged him through the mud, the snow, towards harder ground.

Roddick groaned as he was thrown forth and tried to crawl away.

“Thor!”

Loki was at the top of the slope, looking down in shock, horror and fear.

“Thor, get back here!”

Thor ignored him and he kicked Roddick in the gut, then grabbed his head again.

Loki’s eyes widened and he called for Thor, the sound lost in the thunder that roared from above and the lightening that turned the world white.

There was no sight or sound, nothing!

Loki had to turn away to avoid being blinded. The static in the air made his skin prickle, his hair lift around his head.

Behind him, his servants, Halvor and the guards were immobilized for they could neither hear nor see.

It lasted a few seconds, but it seemed like forever before the world dimmed enough that they could open their eyes and see.

Loki lowered the hands he had raised to keep the light at bay and turned back to look at Thor.

He gasped, his mouth falling open when he saw his husband standing there, panting heavily in the silence and static around him. His hands were bloody, his arms were painted with it. So where his clothes, flecks of it on his hair, his face…

At his feet was Roddick’s body and what remained of his head.

Blood poured from his broken, shattered skull, brain matter floated past Thor’s feet, painting the snow red.

He turned then, very slowly, tilting his head to where Loki stood.

His eyes were nearly white in rage, his hand clenching and unclenching for something he needed.

And Loki …

He stood there, trying to calm his breath and try to understand what the hell just happened.

***

“You’re shaking”

Loki looked up sharply, then at his hands. They held the soap and scrub tightly, but there was no doubt that they were trembling. He was having a hard time keeping a hold of both items and clearly, Thor had noticed.

Thor sat in the steaming tub, his hair and skin clean of blood. Loki had washed it off himself, not saying a word.

He had been silent ever since they came back to their tent.

Halvor had taken charge, ordered their tent to be fixed up and cleaned. Loki had arrived to a fixed tent, his face pale, as he led Thor in. the man was tense, Loki had seen warhorses in states like this and told everyone to guard their tent and give them privacy.

A tub filled with freezing water was brought over and Loki waved a hand over it, making it hot, letting it steam as he undressed Thor.

Thor didn’t speak, either, both of them working silently in harmony. Thor stepped out of his trousers when Loki prompted him and Loki helped him into the tub.

He started to wash him and Thor noticed how he steadily shivered more and more. By the third wash, Thor couldn’t keep silent and spoke his first words since the entire thing happened.

Loki had his hand in his and was scrubbing it to make it clean.

He looked at Thor, his green eyes large, then at his hands and back again

“I-I’m sorry” Loki whispered, letting his hand go “I don’t … I …”

The sound of water splashing enunciated Thor’s movement and a moment later, Loki was enveloped into his arms, uncaring if he got wet, and pulled against Thor, as much as the tub allowed.

Loki held Thor just as tightly, one hand cradling the back of his head, the other around his shoulders. The front of his robes dipped in the water, but he did not care at all.

“You fool!” Loki said, his eyes welling with tears “You could have died! He could have killed you!”

Thor kissed his head and rubbed his back

“I could not let him live” he whispered “The moment I saw him … I …”

“He was not yours to kill” Loki said, his eyes focused somewhere behind Thor “You should not face anything like this!”

“Loki,” Thor said gently, rubbing his back “Hush…it’s alright….”

Loki shut his eyes and two thick tears slipped down his cheeks, Thor felt them touch his skin and gently pulled away so he could let Loki sit comfortably. He cradled his cheeks in his hands and Loki held his wrists, looking into his eyes.

“I could not” Thor said, looking into Loki’s tormented eyes “Let him hurt you the way he was trying to”

He stroked Loki’s high cheekbones and leaned over to kiss his mouth

Loki closed his eyes for a few long moments and when he opened them again, they were filled with tears and memories.

“That was him” he whispered “He k-killed my baby and Sigyn”

He felt Thor freeze and he looked into his beautiful green eyes.

“That was him?” Thor asked softly

Loki nodded slowly and Thor’s lips tightened

“Then don’t make me apologize for killing him” Thor said softly “Don’t”

Loki was about to say something when Thor placed a thumb on his lips

“No” Thor said softly “No more words. Do not make me regret killing him, don’t. He deserved to die, for everything he did. He took your husband from you, your child. It was through my hand that you received justice…don’t make me regret it”

Loki looked at him, lost at what he should say, what he could say!

He swallowed loudly, as though he was going to say something, but Thor moved his thumb off his lips and kissed him.

Loki inhaled sharply, his eyes falling shut and his arms went around Thor’s large shoulders. He whimpered loudly, letting Thor make him lean back as he stepped out of the tub, his massive body dripping with water.

Loki was pulled to his feet and he gasped against Thor’s mouth as he opened his mouth, letting his tongue surge in. he felt Thor’s large hands at his back, making it arch, pressing their fronts together.

He moaned loudly and Thor broke the kiss off to lick and breathe down his neck. Loki tipped his head back to allow it and realized, with dawning hope, that this did not feel as strange as last time.

That Thor’s hands, his lips, did not make him want to stop as much.

Thor gently moved Loki’s cloak off his shoulders and let it pool at his feet. His eyes looked down and his lips thinned when he saw the torn clothes Loki wore. He saw, beneath his pale skin, the swelling left upon his face, a painfully pink tinge, marring his otherwise perfect face.

Loki looked into his eyes, his face flushed, but still beaten, and frowned “What?”

Thor shook his head and ran a hand over Loki’s head, looking into his eyes

“Come” he spoke softly “I will take care of you”

Loki had no idea what was happening, but he said nothing as Thor picked him up, one arm beneath his knees, the other behind his back, and carried him to their bed. He set him on it before he left, going to where Loki had hung his thick night robes. Putting it on, he brought Loki’s over.

Loki sat there, realizing his clothes were the reason Thor was acting this way. He started to undress and Thor returned, handing him his robe and waiting for him to be covered. When he was done, Thor took his discarded clothing and crumpled it up.

He never wanted to see it again.

Holding it in one large hand, he went to call for Halvor, who arrived within minutes.

“Take the tub away and get rid of these” Thor handed him the clothes “Burn them, I do not want to see them again”

And right there, in his eyes, Halvor saw the power he had heard Thor possessed. He was strong, powerful, and tonight, he had proved it.

The boy turned to obey, running out and throwing the clothes in a nearby fire before he asked two guards to come in. Thor stood before Loki to protect him from their glances and they, in turn, kept their heads lowered.

Most had seen and heard of what Thor had done.

They knew better than to take him on or disobey.

Once they were left in privacy, Thor turned back, going to one of their trunks. Loki watched, sitting on the bed, holding his cloak to him as he was assailed by the memories of that night.

It was so long ago, but it played in his mind over and over again. What he had seen, felt, lost, everything.

It was like someone was making him stand there and watch it happen, slow it down, speed it up, make him memorize it. he could see it, Sigyn telling everyone to give way, Sigyn fighting that monster. He saw Sigyn’s eyes, the way they kept looking as Loki, telling him everything would be alright. Loki saw how he had fought that murderer, but had been distracted as Loki lay bleeding on the ground.

And then …

Then Loki saw Sigyn fall back and nearly cried right where he sat now, watching him die, watch the life seep out of his eyes as he has been able to do nothing.

Absolutely nothing.

A touch to his cheek was sudden and jolted him out of his thoughts and he looked at Thor.

Everything was blurry and it took Loki only a moment to blink, for two thick tears to slip down his cheeks and onto the bed.

He took a shuddering breath and Thor sighed softly, gently, carefully, pulling him into his arms. Loki let himself be taken into his care, let himself take his comfort and sat across his lap, hiding his face in Thor’s neck, his fingers twitching in Thor’s clothes.

“I should never have called to him” Loki said softly, pain reeling over him “He died because I was in danger, me. I called out to him and he came to help. I regretted it ever since it happened, willing myself to somehow change the past so I would do it over again.”

Thor rubbed his back, soothing him as best he could.

“And yet when I was given that chance again, I called out, just like last time” Loki whimpered “When I was in danger, I called to you, again! What use am I if I keep endangering the lives of those who mean most to me?”

“Loki” Thor whispered “It’s alright, I am here”

“Because of your own act, not mine” Loki said “I am selfish, only thinking of myself.”

Thor wanted to say something but knew that he could not; Loki needed this outlet, Thor would correct him later.

“But I was so afraid” Loki whispered “He came back, Thor, he came back for me…”

The thought had been crippling, Loki did not know how to react except to call for Thor. To warn or ask for help was still uncertain, but it was Thor he had wanted, Thor he needed.

And it was Thor he got.

“Loki”

Thor’s voice, raspy and hoarse, was still strong.

“Look at me”

Slowly, hesitating, Loki lifted his head and looked at him.

“You are not selfish” he said “You are brave, you are kind hearted and you are a protector.”

He reached up and stroked Loki’s cheek, tipping his head to him.

“You are also hurt” he whispered “Still wounded after the trauma you experienced, yet find the time to cater to your childish husband”

Loki looked at him but he didn’t smile. Thor saw how vulnerable he was and touched his cheek, his jaw, petting him to calm him down.

“You are entitled to your pain, Loki” Thor said “Do not think of yourself meanly because of it”

Loki sighed softly and closed his eyes “Thank you”

Thor kissed his lips and squeezed him in affection.

They stayed that way for a long time before they were interrupted and looked up to see Halvor standing there, a fancy red envelope in his hands. He seemed to grimace and look uncomfortable, but clearly, this was important.

“My lords” he bowed his head “This envelope came for you and …”

He broke off, looking behind him, making Thor tense.

“And you have a visitor”

Thor frowned “We are not seeing anyone. Tell them to go”

Before Halvor could, a hand placed itself on his shoulder and he was gently pulled back.

Both Thor and Loki blinked when a tall, muscular man walked in. Blue eyes and blazing red hair, pulled back into a warrior’s plait, Tyr looked down at them both.

It was a surprise, to be sure and Thor opened and closed his mouth a few times before he was able to form a coherent response.

“Tyr” he said, his voice rumbling “What – What are you doing here?”

“I need to talk to you” Tyr said “I will wait by the table while both of you fix yourselves up”

He turned and left them both, placing a burden upon them. Halvor set the envelope on their bed and rushed to serve Tyr their mead and juice.

Loki and Thor got off the bed, quickly donning their clothes before they headed out, hand in hand.

Tyr looked somber as he sat at their table, a half drunk goblet of mead in his hands. Halvor was preparing drinks for both of them and set them down the moment they sat.

“Anything else for you, my lord?” Halvor asked Tyr, hands tied before him in respect

“Leave us” Tyr said “Make sure no one enters till I depart”

Halvor contained his surprise – and disdain – well, and looked to Loki.

Loki allowed it, nodding to him before he left and Thor looked at his elder brother.

“What is it?” Thor asked, looking at his brother

Gods, he hadn’t seen him in years!

Tyr looked just about the same, a little bigger, if anything, and there was a scar down his left eye, but that was barely visible. He raised his eyes to Thor’s.

“A few hours ago” Tyr said “We were told that something happened”

“Aye,” Thor said, his hand locked with Loki’s tightly “Loki was attacked by an assassin, we fought and …”

“Not here, Thor” Tyr looked at him, his voice soft “On Asgard”

Thor went cold, looking at him through surprised, large eyes.

“Thor, your hammer” Tyr said “It shot through the weapon’s vault, flying through the air and landed outside the palace”

Loki and Thor stared at him in shock

“What?”

“Aye” Tyr said, looking at his brother “No one can dislodge it and Father has sent me here to ask you to remove it”

He scoffed humorlessly “Apparently it is barring the way to the stables”

There was something else, Loki knew it, but he didn’t say.

And worse – neither did Tyr.

“He says I can have it back?” Thor asked, his heart pounding in his chest.

Tyr looked at him, then he looked away “Aye”

And Loki knew.

He knew he was lying.

His hand squeezed Thor’s but his husband was already getting to his feet.

“He – He truly said that?” Thor gasped “that I can have my hammer back?”

“Aye” Tyr said

The sense of foreboding was strong within Loki and he stood, too.

“Thor, may I speak to you a moment?”

But Thor was too intensely excited and turned to him, kissing him on the mouth before he looked into his eyes.

“Loki, I am getting my hammer back!”

Tyr got to his feet and looked at Loki “Worry not, Loki, I will bring him back in one piece”

Loki ignored him for the moment and grabbed Thor’s hands “Tyr, please give us a moment”

It was his tense voice, his demeanor, which made Thor stop and look at him, “What’s wrong?”

Loki looked at him, then at Tyr, who still lingered and increased Loki’s fear. He turned to Thor again

“Don’t go” he said “I fear this is a trap”

Thor froze and Tyr frowned “Excuse me?”

Loki looked at him “Do not be so offended, Tyr! You and Odin have given me more cause to doubt every good thing you do for Thor!”

He turned to Thor

“Thor, he is not going to give you the hammer, you cannot go, it is not safe” Loki told him

Thor frowned at him “Loki, he …”

He turned to look at Tyr, then back at Loki and realized, with a falling spirit, that he trusted Loki more. He arms slowly snaked around his husband and he looked at his brother.

“Leave”

Tyr blinked “Excuse me?”

“You heard me” Thor said “I trust Loki more and if he says you are here to harm me, then I believe him”

Tyr’s jaw tightened “I am not here to harm you, Thor. I have done that enough in my life”

Loki glowered at him, still.

“However” Tyr said “I will admit that Loki is not completely wrong”

Loki wanted to kill Tyr, right then and there, such was his anger. He knew Tyr was untrustworthy, he just knew it!

Tyr reached into his cloak and pulled out a small vial, setting it on the table.

“Odin sent me here” he said “not to harm you, but your husband”

Thor felt his heart stop.

“He wishes to get rid of Loki so you can come home and wield the power of Mjolnir” Tyr said “I was to coax you out, give you this vial, tell you that it is a blessing from Eir and have both of you drink it. Since it does not harm an Aesir, only Loki will be killed. That way, there would be only one heir to Jotunhiem’s throne – you”

Loki felt his mouth part in shock, at the sheer audacity that was Odin “And you would do this willingly for him, you monster?”

His voice was a growl and his hands clenched in rage. Thor was barely hanging on beside him and Tyr – he looked defeated.

“I have been cruel, but I am no monster” he told Loki “Odin has my beloved.”

Thor froze “What?”

“Aye, even someone like me can find love” Tyr mocked himself

Then he looked at Loki

“Failure to do as he asked will have her taken from me and killed” Tyr said, looking at the table before him “I had no choice, forgive me”

He gave them both a grim look.

“Our father has changed, Thor” Tyr said “He is capable of this darkness, I had never known it would happen. I have been trying in secret to find out where he keeps her. Perhaps if she is safe, I will focus my attentions on trying to induce his sleep. Right now, he controls me”

He gave them a wan smile and touched the vial gently before he stepped back

“I will not ask you for forgiveness” Tyr said, slowly going to the exit “But in time, try and find a way to let this go”

He turned and walked out, leaving them alone.

His back was straight and he headed to the spot where the bi frost would take him away. His footsteps were sure and fast as he left.

“Tyr!”

Tyr stopped and looked behind him to see Thor coming out.

“You could have harmed me but you did not” Thor told him “as horrid as our relationship is, we cannot let it deteriorate further. I will help you claim your love if you get me my hammer back. Then we go our different ways”

Tyr looked at him, then at Loki, who was openly glaring at him.

He blue gaze locked with his brother’s and he exhaled

“You will do that for me?”

“You get me my hammer and I shall” Thor said

He extended his hand to Tyr.

“Then we separate”

Tyr looked at his face, then his hand before he took it and shook it in truce.

“Then we separate”

***

“I still don’t like it”

Thor, who was putting on his cape, smiled at Loki.

“You do not like him” he pointed out

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes “Well, do you?”

“Nay” Thor clipped his cloak in place “But he is my brother. The feud has one on long enough, don’t you agree?”

Loki huffed and came over, standing before Thor “You are sick and going on an adventure. Where did I go wrong?”

“Well, if you feel that strongly about it” Thor told him, looking at him and he came to fix his cape “Then let stop me”

Loki chuckled “Well, you are getting stronger than I thought. Maybe I should send assassins to test your skills”

Thor barked in laughter and put his arms around Loki’s hips “You are cruel”

Loki smiled at him “You have no idea”

The front of Thor’s cloak in place, Loki reached up to kiss his lips. Then he looked into his eyes and smiled

“You get back” he said “And we can go watch the jousting”

Thor smiled at him and nodded “Of course, my love, I will be gone for a few hours”

Loki kissed his cheek again and stepped back “Make sure you do”

“You act like you care” Thor teased

“Maybe I do” Loki smiled, walking out with him

Tyr was waiting for them outside and said nothing to Loki. There was his horse and one for Thor, which his husband mounted quickly.

“Prepare my favorite dinner, husband!” Thor called obnoxiously “For I am going on a quest!”

Loki smiled, despite his trepidation, and raised a hand in farewell.

“Be well” he called

“I shall” Thor winked at him, turning his horse

Tyr shouted and dug his heels into his steed, galloping away. Thor followed him after waving Loki goodbye.

Loki stood there, holding the cloak he had around him, watching them depart. He exhaled loudly and looked to the side where Halvor was watching him carefully.

“Oh, shut up” Loki said

Halvor smiled as his prince walked into his tent “It’s just a matter of hours, you know”

“Didn’t I tell you to be silent?” Loki said, glaring when he followed him inside

“I did, but you looked so put out that I fear you will succumb to your grief and start bawling”

Loki hummed and went to the vial at the table.

The liquid was clear and Loki picked it up, glaring at it.

“What is that?” Halvor asked

“That” Loki said, his fingertips glowing green “Is what I am going to find out”

Tendrils of magic rose from his fingers and Halvor watched them circle the bottle in a sort of dance, slowly, carefully, before they seeped past the lid and inside.

The vial glowed under Loki’s magic for a few seconds, then the low faded and Loki blinked

“What, that can’t be right”

Halvor blinked as Loki uncorked it “Majesty, what’s wrong?”

Loki sniffed the bottle and looked at Halvor, confused

“It – It’s water” he frowned

Havlor raised a brow and a moment later, the vial dropped from Loki’s hands, his eyes wide in horror.

“Thor!”

In the distance, galloping away from the campsite, Thor was grinning. It was a quest he was after and a noble one indeed. Maybe something that would indebt Tyr to him for the rest of their lives. Maybe they could mend the bridge between them, start a new chapter?

He turned his head to search for his brother and frowned when he didn’t find him.

He looked towards his other side, found nothing and then looked behind him.

Nothing

“Tyr?”

A second too late, Thor realized what this was, but when he straightened to turn his horse around, a swell of black magic shot forth from the snow and ice and enveloped him.

Thor was thrown off his horse but he never landed in the snow.

His yelp of shock was the only thing that stayed behind.

And behind him, on a horse of his own, Tyr emerged from the trees.

His eyes were focused on the place Thor faded to and a moment after, his shape rippled and changed, revealing the red haired Jotun, whose grey eyes burned with rage against the prince.

Another figure emerged beside him, old, yes, but extremely powerful.

One cold eye looked at the Jotun beside him and he smiled

“Good job, boy”

Loptr turned to him and beamed “It was my pleasure, Majesty”

Odin chuckled “You are ambitious, I admire that”

He looked behind him towards a horse that held a large, heavy sack on its back

“Now, as promised” Odin said “Your weight in Aesir gold”

Loptr looked at it and grinned widely, his teeth shining in the dim Jotun light as he looked upon the reward he gained at his revenge.

 


	14. Chapter 14

There was darkness everywhere, the moment he was thrown in, Thor stumbled, his knees buckling. He fell against the hard ground, grunting as its harsh surface scratched the palms of his hands. He looked up, he looked around and nothing, nothing other than the dark greeted him. He couldn’t even see the place he had been shoved in from or who had thrown him in here.

He remembered Tyr, he remembered him going missing, and he remembered Loki’s warning in the back of his head. And he remembered a dark matter, shooting out of the ice in a collection of particles which radiated so much heat and despair that Thor felt it when he fell off his horse and never hit the ground.

Possibly, until now.

His booted feet scuffed the ground and he felt it to be concrete, or something like it.

Sighing, Thor stood very slowly, unable to see anything. The darkness was so thick Thor could probably cut through it. The thought had him reach for his blade, his hands closing around the hilt and he lashed at it, his breath loud in his ears. He hissed as he felt is get thicker and spun around, lashing there, hoping to find the one responsible for this.

Thor closed his eyes, feeling that darkness give him more control over this one. He was a trained warrior, he could get past this, he had to.

All he needed to do was calm down.

Whoever threw him in this chamber would come to him sooner or later, Thor would be ready.

Inhaling deeply, Thor heard his breathing calm down before he slowly became aware of where he stood. He scuffed the round with his foot, feeling the rough concrete hard beneath his boot. It was not giving, even under his weight, so slowly, he skid one foot forward, then the other, one hand holding his blade tight and the other extended to see when the walls of this chamber would hit his palm. That way he could be a judge of how to get out, or if he was lucky, find a door.

The noises around him were distant for now, as though he was licked somewhere underground, with some place that let sound in. he kept walking, his feet sliding over the ground until one snagged on something and Thor tripped. He gasped and stumbled, but saved himself from falling and disgracing himself in front of his enemy. He stood his ground for a few seconds, waiting for a reaction, for something.

Nothing

Nothing other than the distant sounds of birds, rustling trees, possibly to mock Thor so he kept on walking. Tell him what awaited him outside this chamber, then make it seemingly impossible to go out – that was their plan. But Thor was not going to give in. He would get out and laugh at how their plan foiled, then possibly, beat them into submission for daring to touch him.

Doubtless, Loki would be worried and Thor felt his lips curve into a smile when he thought of him, of his lover and how unbearably worried he would be. Thor would kiss him, embrace him and make love to him like he had done that night.

Loki would scold him, tell him he was reckless, tell him how scared he was, then forgive him.

They would kiss by the fire, then Loki would let him see the jousts, see what the other men were doing. They would watch it together.

Thor stopped

The ground had suddenly gone soft.

Whoever it was, had turned the ground soft, which meant only one thing.

Magic.

This chamber was probably filled to the brim with magic, destined to make Thor feel unprepared, to defeat him – no wonder he had not reached a wall, this room was enchanted to remain forever.

Even as his heart rate increased, Thor willed himself to stay calm. Panicking would only scramble his thoughts, he had to think before he acted, he had to get out of here.

Loki …

Thor needed to think of Loki, his beautiful Loki.

His lips, his eyes, his hair.

With the world so dark, it was so easy to picture him, so Thor did and he opened his eyes again, looking at the darkness before him. It was still thick, bordering on becoming smothering but he persevered. He needed to get to Loki so that they can get to the bottom of this together.

His blade as the ready, Thor stepped on the soft ground, expecting the change from soft to another, possibly water, to stagger him. his speed slowed down accordingly, so Thor was more alert, stepping on the soft ground, eventually feeling it grow even softer, but crunching under his feet like it was snow and ice, it was cold, too. But at that moment, Thor’s outstretched hand touched the rough surface of a wall and he grinned.

Ha! It was a room.

It felt hard, calloused, grooved and patterned like the bark of a tree trunk. Thor moved his hand to the side and encountered air.

His grin faded and he brought his hand back, realizing it was a tree!

Oh, whoever was doing this, was good. They were tormenting him. They were having their fun with him.

Well played, Thor would have said. But he was not acknowledging their existence.

What they had planned, he didn’t know, so he kept on walking until he passed the tree and stepped deeper into the new ground they had made for him.

Thor yelped as loud rustling sounded, then claws, cawing like a raven, shot past him, scratching his arm and making him hiss in pain. He touched his shoulder, felt the cuts inn his tunic and the heated flesh that was no doubt bleeding.

Growling, Thor looked above, seeing nothing but the chamber was still dark. Thor shook his head and heard thunder rumble above him.

Excellent, they mocked him with his own element.

Thor tried to change direction heading to his right. The sounds got a little louder so he walked towards them, thinking that perhaps they would get him some answers.

***

There was no time here, Thor realized.

Just silence, then voices. He had managed to find a spot in the night, possibly a part of this dreaded chamber his captors had created to make him sleep. In any other condition, Thor would have let it go, but he was tired and the spells they kept hitting him with.

Some were like familiar animals Thor had encountered in his life, others were life elements, wind, cold, rain. They even made it so that whenever Thor got mad, thunder would rumble. He was hungry and he was weak.

They were driving him insane.

They made it look like Thor went through night and day, he shivered and once they created a monster that attacked him, noises like those of a wolf, pain like that of an animals bite, scratches and attacks. Thor felt himself bleed out, his arm had grown infected, he could feel the sting as his skin was pulled taut over a swelling.

And yet, he had not found the end of this chamber. The ground shifted under him constantly, changing from hard to soft, damp to wet. He’d torn his boot and now he was sure his foot was about to get frost bite.

Clever, they were, very clever, for doing this to him. This level of torture where he could neither see nor eat nor sleep, just roam around in an empty black chamber endlessly. How they must laugh, seeing him counting his paces or walk with his hand held out or how his hands shook from the cold they induced.

He had found a space to sleep, curled up in his cloak and cape, then woke hours later to the sounds of growling. They were close and he sat up, hand going to his blade.

He was thirsty but he knew that the snow his hand touched was unreal, that the moment he grabbed it, it would vanish.

Such was their trick.

His lips were chapped and broken, his skin was sunken. He touched his face and found his stubble growing.

The growling startled him and he knew that the magic that accompanying it would be the pain Thor was waiting for.

He grinned “Oh, you wish to bring me own, but I know you cannot”

He held his blade tighter, laughing.

“I would fight each and every thing you hurl at me, monster” he said “so come on!”

His voice was raspy, hoarse and he grinned in the dark as he heard a bark, just like that of a wolf, just as though it was real.

“Come on!” he goaded “Use your witchcraft, coward! I know you cannot do anything to me!”

More loud barks sounded, thunder rumbled in the distance and Thor laughed, slightly insane.

“My power is still here, whoever you are” he said “As long as I hear thunder, I know you will be afraid of me!”

Thor lashed out with his blade and felt the magic move the air around him, making the growling increase.

“No mere magic can harm me”

“Thor!”

Thor froze.

This was new.

For a second, it sounded like Loki, as though his beloved was here.

“Thor, hold on!”

Thor’s face, which had become vulnerable, turned back to rage

“You think this is funny!?” he yelled “Come near me and I will fight this magic, too, come on, witch!”

He heard yelps and growls, hoof beats and footsteps, he heard them all. The magic that tried to fool him into thinking there were wolves around him vanished and he heard him, he heard his voice.

“Oh norns…”

Thor turned towards it

“You can’t mess with my head” Thor hissed to where they tried to make him think Loki was “I know this chamber cannot let him in. You must have truly fallen to think I will fall for this!”

He slashed the air grinned when he heard a loud cry of pain, felt his dagger slice through cloth and flesh.

“Master Loki!”

They made him think it was Hodr but Thor ignored them going to grab the body that had fallen before him, ignoring how it screamed and how it sounded like Loki.

“Shut up!” Thor yelled, raising his dagger high “You think I do not sense you looking at me!? I have you in my grasp, finally”

He flipped the dagger, pointing it’s tip downwards.

“Thor, don’t!” Loki’s voice begged

“Your death will release me demons!”

The conjured ‘Hodr’ screamed and a moment later something hard and unyielding hit the back of Thor’s head and he grunted, losing his consciousness almost instantly.

He was starved and dehydrated, there was little else that could happen.

He fell forward, on top of the warm, shaking body beneath him and knew no more.

***

There was darkness again, but this was different.

He could breathe, he felt clean and revitalized. He felt cared for.

His back rested against something soft and he heard voices, different, closer and more real.

“Ah!”

“Forgive me, my lord, the cut is still deep” a rumbling, soothing voice answered “it will take time”

“I know” Loki’s voice replied “I don’t care for it, tell me he will be fine”

“I cannot promise” the deep, kind voice said “I will do for him as much as I can, but I fear you need something stronger than faith and the healing magic here to give back what was taken”

There was something soft and damp over his eyes and Thor frowned, then blew air softly from his soft, healed lips.

There was a soft gasp then the dragging of a chair.

“Majesty, your leg!”

He heard footsteps and felt someone near.

It wasn’t until he smelled it, the scent, that Thor recognized it as Loki.

“Thor” Loki breathed “Thor, are – are you awake, my love?”

There was the sound of weapons being drawn and Thor felt Loki move beside him

“Stand down!” he ordered “He will not harm me, put those away! Have you no shame!?”

Thor lifted a hand and searched for Loki’s until it was grasped. He felt the bed shift and felt Loki’s body press closer.

“Is this real?” Thor asked softly “Are you here?”

Loki held Thor’s hand tighter and kissed his knuckles, Thor felt his soft lips on his skin.

“I am here”

Thor felt him stroke his cheek, his stubble was gone and he leaned into it. his other hand lifted and grasped at air till Loki guided it towards himself, letting Thor stroke his cheek.

“You are not an apparition?”

“Nay”

“Then tell me something only Loki would know”

There was silence for a moment before he leaned closer and whispered in his ear

“We slept on the couch on our wedding night”

Thor felt his heart skip a beat and he gasped softly

“L-Loki?”

“I’m right here” Loki said “I swear, I won’t leave”

“W-Why can’t I get out of the darkness?” Thor asked “Why can’t I see anything?”

There was silence, he heard shifting and he heard Loki inhale sharply

“Thor…”

His voice was choked and it froze the blood within his body.

“What?” Thor asked, his voice a little louder “Loki, why can’t I see!?”

“Because you can’t”

Sadness soaked Loki’s voice

“They’ve blinded you”

Thor heard him slowly. His words fell upon him syllable by syllable, word by merciless word until everything started to make sense.

There was no chamber, there never had been. There was no magic, nothing against him.

It was him!

He was blind, he couldn’t see, everything was real!

Loki, his hair falling over one shoulder, his eyes filled with tears, watched as Thor started to panic, started to pant heavily.

“L-Lo…”

Loki felt his lip quiver as Thor searched for him and he leaned down to give him the support needed for him to sit up. And when he did, the damp cloth fell from his eyes and Loki saw them.

Pale as a somber grey sky, with scratches on his beautiful irises. Thor looked ahead, unseeing, fearful and hopeless. His hands grabbed Loki’s shoulders and Loki pulled him into his arms.

“Hush” Loki whispered, cradling his head “Hush, my darling”

Thor didn’t wail, but shocked tears slipped down his cheeks. His hands clenched in Loki’s clothes and he kept whispering, kept pleading for this to be unreal.

That this was a nightmare.

The healer, the guards and the servant by them, slowly turned to leave and give them privacy.

Loki was in a long, soft and warm grey robe, Thor was in pale trousers, nothing else. His torso was bared so his wounds and infection could heal. As Loki rubbed his back to comfort him, Thor sniffed.

Loki kissed his shoulder and cooed at him softly

“You will be fine” he swore “I will do anything I have to, to get you your sight back, do you understand?”

He didn’t know if Thor heard him, so he gave him a gentle shake.

“Do you hear me?”

Thor inhaled sharply “Yes…”

“No, don’t just say yes” Loki pulled away, held Thor’s face in his hands and looked at him “Listen to me. Say that you understand. I will not stop till you have it back. This will not be easy on you, but I swear, I will do everything in my power to help you. I will be here every step of the way, my love”

Thor heard the conviction in his voice and held on a little tighter. Loki could feel him shake, he said nothing. Thor was right in his fear, he was right to be scared. His vision had been stolen from him.

It was natural that he be afraid

The norns knew Loki was terrified.

***

The next few days, Thor was told to rest on bed. He was weakened and upset, which made it easier for him to fall asleep. Loki sensed whenever he wanted to have a rest and would cast a spell around Thor to keep the noises at bay. Without his sight, noises were sharper for Thor, he started whenever something was too loud and Loki stayed by him, letting him know he was fine, he was alright.

Nothing was going to happen.

He stroked his hair, all night if he had to, he sang to him, no words, just gentle humming, until he felt Thor’s breathing even out and his large hand slip from where it held Loki’s. Then Loki would paste himself to Thor’s back, kiss his shoulder and stay asleep with him all night.

In the morning, Loki would feed him breakfast, help him walk to the bathing room, holding both his hands in his. He would walk backwards, Thor would follow, listening to the sound of his voice.

Then Loki would bathe him, clean him up and laugh whenever Thor tried to pull him under or throw water at him.

It not only meant that Thor was feeling better, it also meant that he was becoming aware of his surroundings now.

Which was a huge relief.

Loki had arranged the room a certain way and forbidden everyone from changing a single thing about it. When he walked on, when he taught Thor what was in that room looked like now, he would have Thor’s hands on his shoulders as the young man was taken around, given the tour and told to familiarize himself.

Thor was learning and though it broke his heart, he started to put whatever was left of his heart into it.

On his best days.

Today was not one of them and Loki was very patient as he saw Thor curled up on the bed, refusing to get up.

“My love” Loki whispered, placing a hand on his muscled shoulder “My beautiful darling, you need to get up it’s noon. You have been sleeping all day”

“I have not been sleeping, I have been lying here, useless and crippled” Thor said

Loki exhaled softly “You are neither of those, my Thor. You are injured. And like any battle wound, this will fade”

“This is no battle wound” Thor said “It is the mark of how weak I am. How many blind men have you seen taking glory? How many blind kings have ruled a realm? None, Loki. I am to be this useless waste of space, never to see or be seen. I am a shame to the throne …”

He exhaled, a broken sound in the dim light of the room “Just like my father told me”

Loki grit his teeth and let out a breath to calm himself.

“Your father was wrong”

“Tell me when he was wrong” Thor said “Because everything he said was true, all my life, every single thing he said turned out to be the truth”

“I didn’t”

Thor stilled

“He told you I was cruel and unloving, did he not?” Loki asked softly “That Jotunhiem would be your enemy. He was wrong about that. He told you would amount to nothing and look what you have achieved. You saved an entire realm all by yourself. You saved my life and yours, you gave us homes, food, hope and care”

He stroked his hair back “And you gave me the best gift of them all”

Loki’s hand slipped to Thor’s jaw, stroking his chin, his neck.

“You gave me you”

He applied enough pressure to have Thor turn and Thor closed his eyes, breathed deeply when Loki’s lips landed on his own. His body shuddered and he felt Loki move enough to accommodate the kiss.

Thor’s hands searched out and found Loki, one large arm wrapping around his waist and pulling him closer, then flipping him over so he came flying over Thor and onto the bed.

He grinned when he heard Loki laugh

“That was a mean trick” Loki said, tipping his head aside when Thor mouthed down his neck “I was being nice”

“Nay” Thor rumbled “You were being naughty”

And then, unexpectedly, that voice, the rumble and the tinge of humor in his voice made Loki tremble. Not like last time, no.

This was different.

His eyes looked upon Thor and saw a man who was strong, despite his ‘weakness’. He saw a warrior, a wonderful man.

What had changed, he did not know, but as Thor moved to loom over him, eclipsed by the white light that came into the room, silhouetted against the thin drapes that surrounded their bed, Loki saw a man.

He saw a husband

His husband, it hit him with the reality that he had not yet registered. He acknowledged it, moved along with it, but this time, right not, with his blue eyes, long blonde hair and sheer power.

Loki realized it.

Thor was his husband.

And with that realization, came Thor’s lips, landing on his own. Loki gasped loudly, his eyes falling shut, his lips parting for Thor. Thor was huge, for the first time Loki saw his sexual appeal, his hands, his beautifully shaped mouth, the contours of his body.

Why now and why this way?

Loki didn’t know.

But he was bound to research into it and find out!

Right now, however, he was needed here.

His hands lifted as Thor started to mouth down his neck and Loki moaned softly, licking his lips.

“I wish…” Thor gasped, parting the front of his robe “I wish I could see you… I want to do more than just hear you”

“You will…” Loki promised “You will see me, I swear upon it, my love”

Thor hummed, his mouth placing kisses on Loki’s chest, his tongue licking his skin, tasting him until Loki was panting, his slender hands buried in Thor’s hair, his voice pitched high.

Thor mouthed down his body, his hands settled at Loki’s hips, his breathing getting faster and faster with every passing moment.

Without his sight to distract him, Thor felt everything, heard everything touched everything. Every dip, every curve in Loki’s body was made clear to Thor and he hissed in pleasure when Loki took his hands from Thor’s scalp and pushed his clothes out of the way, took his top off, letting it drop to the side. In his trousers, Loki lay there beneath Thor and let the man do as he pleased.

Thor felt the warmth of Loki’s body and settled his own on top. He was not wearing a tunic, so skin to skin, he felt every quiver Loki gave, every breath that moved his chest towards Thor’s own.

Gods above he was so beautiful.

Thor moaned softly as he kissed Loki, turning his head to the side, just a little, so he could deepen it. Beneath him, Loki lifted his hands, opened his mouth for Thor and put his arm around him, the other slipped down his back and into the seam of his soft trousers, so he could give Thor’s firm bottom a squeeze.

Thor laughed into the kiss and broke it off.

“You like that, eh?”

“Well, I wash it every time you are in the tub, I am bound to feel attached”

Thor grinned at him and slowly lowered his head, feeling where Loki’s jaw was with his lips before he kissed him.

Loki closed his eyes, his hands holding Thor’s cheeks gently, guiding him. He let out a soft moan that made Thor shudder, his muscles quivering under the caress Loki turned his name into.

It was beautiful.

Thor broke the kiss off so they could breathe, going to place large, open mouthed kisses to Loki’s neck once more. It was addictive.

Loki was on his back, his legs cradling Thor as the man was between them. He rubbed their arousals together and Loki gasped loudly, his hands skating over Thor’s skin, his nails raking his body.

Kissing his neck, Thor growled.

“Why must you wear trousers?” Thor complained, sitting back, running his hands searching for the hem of his soft trousers “If you wore a robe…”

“Then I would be in my most casual dress, yes” Loki teased

Thor growled “You minx”

Loki smiled, then laughed when Thor smacked the side of his rear.

He slowly started to pull his trousers off and Loki whined when he was bared, naked, his legs spread, Thor sitting between them. He closed his eyes, his breathing stuttered when Thor wrapped a hand around his erection and squeezed.

His mouth fell open and he gasped in ecstasy.

“I want to hear you first”

Thor moved over him, one hand on the side of his head, the other wrapped around his arousal as he slowly, carefully, started to pleasure him. He stroked him, his warm fingers curled around his length, extracting moan after moan from Loki, hearing his pants, his breathless sighs.

It was beautiful, hearing everything that he could, hearing Loki whisper his name over and over, with each breath.

Thor thought that if he had his sight, he would be watching him, missing these little details. And though he mourned the loss badly, at the moment, he found something good about it.

***

Loki had an arm thrown over his eyes, his chest moving up and down heavily as Thor continued.

His eyes were closed, his legs open, trembling as Thor moved his fingers inside his pliant, sweaty body. There was cum dried on Loki, between his thighs, on his belly, a testament of what Thor was doing to him.

The last hour was spent with Thor’s hand between his legs, Loki’s wet, breathless moans in his ear, his nails scratching his back.

How Thor learned this, Loki didn’t know. Perhaps he was learning as they went along, but every hitch in his breath was recorded, acknowledged and acted upon, making Loki keen and beg for more.

Thor had him bare, his skin glistening, his mouth wet and red, swollen from Thor’s kisses

There was focus only on Loki’s pleasure right now, though Thor was hard in his trousers.

“Ah!” Loki’s voice was high pitched, loud and desperate as Thor curled his fingers inside him, opening him up “Thor…please….”

His hair was stuck to his face, he was panting and looked at his lover, who was touching his belly, stroking his lithe muscles.

At his voice, Thor looked up

“I will, my darling”

He kissed Loki’s chest, licking and biting his skin and Loki moaned loudly, especially when he pulled his fingers out.

He felt empty, he felt lost and he looked at Thor, his gaze half lidded, as the man placed his hang beside his head, tipping his head to the side

“You will have to guide me a little” Thor panted, looking for and finding Loki’s cheek “Please”

Loki said not a word.

He reached down and grabbed Thor’s length in his hand, biting his lip when Thor moaned, right into his ear.

“Loki…”

Loki smiled, a breathless laugh escaping him “Your voice resonates through you, Thor, speak like this again and I will find I cannot control myself”

Thor chuckled and groaned as Loki slowly pressed the tip of his member to his opening “As if you are in control here”

Loki laughed once, but it turned into a whine, a needy, desperate noise as Thor breached him, slowly, pushing his tight channel open, his deep, thunderous voice panting beside Loki’s.

“Loki…”

“I know” Loki gasped “Take your pleasure”

Thor took his time, Loki wrapped his legs around his waist, locking them at the small of his back so Thor stayed close.

It felt beautiful and Loki felt his face blush, saw pink in Thor’s cheeks, reaching up to kiss him.

He gasped when Thor started to move, moaning into his mouth, his channel clenching around Thor’s sex, making him sigh and pant in pleasure.

The bed rocked and creaked as Thor began to move, pushing in and out of Loki.

“Thor … nngh…yes….”

Hearing him, feeling every breath against his skin, every sigh touch his heart, Thor started to move faster, he moaned and hissed, biting Loki’s neck, his shoulders as sensation after stunning sensation broke over him.

He was new to this, it was beautiful to him and he memorized each feeling, each sound Loki made. He memorized where Loki connected with his body, when his hands skated over Thor’s muscles, when his skin broke beneath Loki’s nails, he wanted to remember that too.

He slowed down his movements, he sped up, and driving Loki insane with every thrust he gave.

His husband was exhausted and Thor was young, still wanting more and more.

He kissed Loki hard, Loki held him tight, wrapped himself around him and he gasped Loki’s name, his body tensing a moment before he released, spilling inside his lover.

His lover

Loki keened loudly, climaxing yet again, then holding Thor tight when the man fell on him, catching his breath.

Loki’s hands went to his hair and he closed his eyes, his heart racing within his chest, his body relaxing and all but melting against Thor’s.

Until Thor laughed

“What has you laughing, boy?” Loki asked affectionately

“You” Thor whispered, kissing his shoulder “You are exhausted”

Loki smiled, his eyes half closed “I know”

“It’s because you are old”

Loki grit his jaw “Well, at least I didn’t come in three minutes, Thor, with age you have more control”

He heard Thor’s gasp, then squawked when Thor dug his fingers in his sides, tickling him

“No!” he cackled “Thor! You can’t!”

“It was not three minutes!” Thor laughed “You demon!”

Loki laughed and struggled, turning on his side, laughing harder when Thor merely followed

“Thor, I can’t breathe!”

“Admit you are old!” Thor ordered “Admit it!”

“I’m old, I’m old!” Loki laughed, his face red “Stop, I will die!”

Thor laughed with him, went on for a few more seconds then let go, falling into bed. Loki’s subsiding laughter shaking the bed a little. Their separation caused their bodies to cool and they stayed that way for a while before Thor pulled Loki back against him.

Loki waved a hand and pulled the sheets over them, pressing back against Thor.

“If this is how you come to wake me every day, I do not mind”

Loki smiled “Let the old man rest, Thor”

Thor’s lips touched his shoulder hesitantly, then a little harder, in a kiss.

“As you wish, you Ancient Jotun”

Loki closed his eyes, took Thor’s hand as it snaked over his shoulder, then curled it to his chest, their fingers entwined.

“I love you, Loki”

Loki kissed his hand “Not as much as I do, Thor”

There was a soft, happy sigh from behind him, then Loki close is eyes, letting his ‘old man exhaustion’ take him over so he could sleep, if only for an hour.

***

After that, there was peace within Thor. He was calmer, he was better, knowing that at the end of the day, at the time both their bodies fell into bed, he would be able to see without seeing, he would be able to reap a reward even he hadn’t thought he could.

It was beautiful, it made him feel strong and the trails pushed upon him every day, from the moment he woke to darkness, walked with the aid of his husband and adjusted to the life he was now forced to live, to when he lay down, were worth it. His eyes shut whenever he touched Loki, whenever they made love, they opened every now and again, so Loki could look into them, so Loki would see them, but to Thor they were slowly becoming useless.

For his part, Loki worked daily, trying to find a way to heal Thor’s beautiful eyes. Sometimes there was no hope, sometimes there was. However whenever Loki spotted a potential spell, to aid in getting Thor’s vision back, he would place it aside, to test on a sightless animal or someone who were willing to risk it.

So far, the best he got was temporary sight.

And he was far too cruel to have that inflicted on the blind man before him. He could never do that to Thor, so he hadn’t tried. Thor, for all his complaining, never told Loki to hurry.

Aye, he growled whenever he stubbed a toe or whenever he felt overwhelmed, but beyond that nothing. He sat with Loki as the prince worked in his laboratory, as he went to the Council, to meet delegates, everything.

He worked and stayed with him, his hands on Loki’s shoulders, his ears listening to everything around him.

This morning, nearly two months after his sight was lost, Thor slept with Loki on their bed, holding his husband to his chest. It was not yet noon, perhaps a little after their usual time for waking up and starting the day – when they received a visitor.

Six years old now, four years since Loki last saw them, Helblindi’s twins walked in through their door. They were smiling, looking behind them at the man who nodded, pointing to Loki and Thor’s bed.

Helblindi was dressed in his royal garbs, he looked taller, more powerful and he smiled at Halvor, who stood beside him, holding a one year old child in his arms as Heron, Helblindi’s beautiful lover, looked over their shoulders.

They were all grinning, ready to surprise Loki when he woke.

Hushing each other, Byleistr took his hand and slowly parted the curtains around the bed. They laughed when they heard Thor snore and moved to climb on it. Loki was fast asleep, so they came to sit before him, cross legged, then reached out and touched his cheek, patting it gently.

Hyrm placed a hand over his mouth, laughing softly as Loki frowned and groaned.

“Thor, not now, it’s my day to rest”

Thor turned to the other side, taking pressing his back to Loki’s

“I’m not doing anything, go to sleep…” Thor groaned

Byleistr laughed and stroked Loki’s cheek again, which made Loki wave a hand to push him away, then stopped when he encountered a soft, small hand.

His eyes opened.

Hyrm and Byleistr grinned and waved at him, sitting there in their expensive clothes, small crowns upon their foreheads.

Loki’s mouth fell open softly and he gasped and sat up, looking at them in shock.

This heart was pounding in his chest as he stared

“What…?”

“Surprise!!”

Thor yelped and sat up, is hand going to grab Loki’s arm and Loki startled when the drapes opened and three Jotuns stood there, grinning at him.

Helblindi, his brother, looking every bit the prince he was, smiled at Loki as his brother sat there, speechless.

Thor knew that voice, he knew he wasn’t going to get hurt so when there was silence for a few long moments, he cleared his throat.

“What’s happening?”

There was shuffling and a moment later, Loki was out of the bed, going to embrace his brother.

“How!?”

Helblindi held him tightly, cradling his head as he felt Loki tremble

“Father” Helblindi said “He tracked us down, brought us here. He said he made a mistake. I will tell you the rest later, but Loki…”

He pulled away, looking at his brother, holding his shoulders.

“He – brought me back” he smiled “I’m home!”

Loki felt his eyes prickle with tears and smiled at his brother, pulling him into another embrace.

A soft growling laughter sounded and they turned to see Thor sitting and playing with the twins. Hyrm was on his shoulders, Byleistr was trying to get on.

Both of them squealed and laughed when Thor fell sideways and started to tickle them both, making them scream and laugh in delight.

“Father!” Hyrm screeched “Help!”

“No one will help you, yield, tiny Jotuns!” Thor growled

Halvor rolled his eyes as the babe in his hand watched, kissing his little chubby cheek and Heron walked over to greet Loki.

Then they turned to Thor

“He – “

“Is beautiful” Heron cut his husband off “Look at him, I have not seen the twins respond to anyone like this”

Thor roared, sought the boys out with his hands before he fell on them, trapping them under his weight, playing with them.

Loki grinned “He truly is”

Helblindi put his arms around them both and gave them a squeeze, before he looked at the one year old Halvor held.

“That” he said, chuckling “Is the newest addition to the family”

Loki turned and saw the baby, grinning at him “Oh, he’s beautiful…”

“Loki” Helblindi said as his brother walked to his youngest “Meet Loki”

Loki turned and looked at him, his eyes wide “What?”

“Aye, we named him after you” Heron came to Helblindi’s side, letting him kiss his temple

Loki was touched and he looked at the beautiful boy, who gave him a shy grin

“Hai…”

“Hello, darling” Loki sniggered, taking the boy into his arms “Hello, Loki, hello”

Baby Loki smiled and tugged on his uncle’s hair and the twins finally escaped Thor, laughing as they hid behind their parents.

Thor stood, his muscles rippling as he got out of bed, his pants low on his hips. Loki felt a blush paint his cheeks and Heron and Helblindi looked away.

“There is another babe?” Thor asked eagerly, staying on the spot

“Aye” Loki kissed his newest nephew on the head before handing him to Halvor “But you will meet him after you bathe”

He walked to Thor, placed his hands on his shoulders, facing him.

The others took the hint and turned to leave, the twins laughing and waving at Thor.

Of course, he didn’t see, but he was grinning and when Loki kissed him on the mouth it only widened.

Then, they were going to the bathroom, both of them, for their bathing routine – and other things.

Thor loved ‘other things’.

***

They had breakfast as a family.

Thrym was there too, though Loki didn’t know why.

He was pregnant, but he looked exhausted, terrible. It was like the baby was dragging the life out of him.

Loki had not seen him in so long. They barely met now, Thrym even left his work to stay at home, secluded, with Jarnsaxa for his company. Why and how he was here, Loki didn’t know, but he knew there was more than met the eye.

Laufey knew, too.

His eyes never strayed from his brother in law, watching him talk softly to Heron, taking in the advice Heron gave about his pregnancy, letting him touch his middle, over his thick robes…

Laufey knew something was wrong and he didn’t need the prompt from Loki when Thrym stood and excused himself to the bathroom.

Laufey waited a few minutes before going after him and Loki turned to Thor, raising a brow when he saw Thor sneak fried flesk to his namesake.

“Thor?”

Thor jolted and put the strip of meat into his own mouth, turning to Loki, eyes wide.

“Aye?”

Helblindi snorted and shook his head at him

“They are the same age” Helblindi said

Thor snorted “My Prince, please … I am far younger”

Heron laughed and so did Loki, before he put more food in Thor’s plate

“You, my darling” Loki kissed his cheek “Are more grown up than you realize”

“Not more than you, I assure you”

More laughter followed before Helblindi lifted his keg and took a sip of the thick, yak’s milk, hot and honeyed.

“I cannot believe I am home”

Loki turned to him, smiling “Neither can I, I keep thinking it is a dream”

Heron smiled and had some of his oatmeal.

“What made Father change his mind?” Loki asked “I tried asking him but he was a little distracted”

“Aye, did you see?” Helblindi asked “Uncle Thrym looked …”

“Dead” Loki finished “Something is horribly wrong”

“And I know for a fact that he will never reveal it to Father” Helblindi said “Someone has to get it out of him”

Loki nodded and then both of them looked at Heron.

It took him a second then he realized what they meant and gaped

“What?” he asked “Why me?”

“Because you are the only one who can spend time at his house” Loki said

“On the pretense of giving advice about his pregnancy, of course” Helblindi said

“And snoop around as much as you can” Loki added

Heron looked between the two of them, his face one of shock, disbelief and a mild bit of regret.

“You two are terrible”

“Aye, but they are right” Thor said, finding and lifting his own keg “You need to find out”

“It’s a conspiracy against me” Heron muttered

All three chuckled before they went back to their breakfast and a few minutes later, Laufey returned.

“Forgive me, the need to leave was strong in my bowels”

All three of them groaned and set down their utensils, which made Laufey and the twins chuckle in delight.

***

Later that night, Laufey was in his chambers when the doors were knocked upon.

He looked up and quickly hid the medicines he had within his robes, before he turned and smiled at Loki, then Helblindi.

“Ah” he beamed “There they are. I thought you were asleep by now”

“It’s nine, Father” Loki said dryly, coming over to sit on a couch “We are not that old”

He growled when Helblindi deliberately ruffled his hair before he sat on another, making himself comfortable.

“You, on the other hand…”

Laufey scoffed “You two keep behaving like that and I will have to do something about it”

He came over and stood before them, hands tied behind his back. Laufey was graceful, strong and powerful – and he knew when his sons were up to something.

“Alright, confess” he said “Why are you here?”

Both Loki and Helblindi looked at each other before they sat up straighter and Laufey eyed them both.

“Why did you bring me back?” Helblindi asked bluntly “After everything that happened. It was sudden, unexpected and I – I want to know”

From the looks of it, so did Loki, and Laufey felt his lips curve into a smile, just a little one. It didn’t reach his eyes and he exhaled, looking at both his boys.

“When you reach my age, you make mistakes” he told them “You – You thrust a life upon your child, thinking it is for the best, when truly it is not. My Kingdom was in desperate need of fixing, I was not aiding it. I could not aid it and in that helplessness I lost control of everything”

He looked at Helblindi

“When you met that beautiful man, I realized the loss of my control” Laufey said “I feared that if I could not control my own sons, I would be weak in my own eyes. And in that thinking I made a huge mistake. I kicked out my son, my eldest Helblindi. And I stayed stubborn, thinking that I had done the right thing and eventually you will leave him to come back home, where you belonged.”

Laufey sighed “I was wrong. At my age, realizing and correcting a mistake is a blessing, you cannot and I would not be someone who stays away from his children based on one mistake. For that, I can apologize for the rest of my life, it would not be enough”

Helblindi looked at him, his eyes shining, just a little, with tears.

But there was more.

“When Thor lost his sight, I saw in Loki a love I had not seen before” Laufey said “And it made me realize that I was punishing Helblindi for finding that love for himself. I should not have…and I had to fix it”

He looked at them both and exhaled

“I lacked time, you see” he said “And hurried to fix the error I made”

Loki frowned “What are you talking about, what time?”

Laufey looked at his youngest, knowing he was the one who would take it the hardest.

“My reign, Loki” he said softly “Is soon going to be at its end”

It hit Helblindi first and he gasped softly, feeling his heart stop. Loki frowned, looking at his father.

“What…?”

“I’m dying, Loki” Laufey said very softly “I’m sick”

It cracked then, the world for Loki and he stared at his father, slowly getting to his feet.

“Y-You can’t…” Loki said, shaking his head “You can’t leave me, Father, you can’t leave us!”

Helblindi got up and gently held Loki’s arm.

Loki shook him off and looked at his father “You’re wrong, you are perfectly fine, there is nothing wrong with you!”

“There is” Laufey said sadly

He reached out and cupped Loki’s cheek, looking into his shocked eyes.

“I might survive this winter, no longer” he said “It’s a blood disease and I fear the cure is yet to be found”

Loki shook his head “N-No…”

Helblindi felt his heart break then, Loki put his arms around his father, shaking his head

“No, no, you are not leaving me, I refuse to let it happen!”

Laufey embraced him back, cradling his head “My child, I have tried for years…”

“Then try harder, I am not letting you go!” Loki ordered “I am not going to lose you, you can’t do this!”

Helblindi, stronger, stoic and brave, put a hand on Loki’s back. His eyes shining with tears but he was better in control.

“I am not leaving you” Loki said “You are not leaving me…”

His voice was thick, as though he was telling himself not to cry.

“You’re wrong”

Laufey hushed him, holding his son close, gently swaying him from side to side.

But he didn’t say anything, not a word. And when Helblindi embraced them both, he simply leaned his head against Helblindi’s and apologized over and over.

He couldn’t stop it.

He just couldn’t.

That night only got worse from then on, because Loki headed to his room, right into Thor’s arms to seek comfort. Thor gave it as best he could, he held Loki to himself and stroked his hair as his beloved let out his pain.

Loki’s eyes remained closed, his body shook and though he didn’t outright sob, Thor felt a few tears slip from his cheeks and wiped them away.

Now, Loki lay asleep with his head on Thor’s shoulder. Thor’s large hand cradled his head, calmly keeping him safe.

He couldn’t sleep, he had tried a few times, but it was difficult.

In his own grief, Loki had forgotten to sound proof the air around him and for a blind man, it was torture, listening to every scrape, every hiss of the sheets, of the nightlife, the owls, bats, crisp ice, howling wind and the …

“Thor….”

Thor froze, his eyes flashing open on instinct.

Something had said his name.

His heart started to pound in his chest and he swallowed thickly, clutching Loki closer.

He waited, waited to see if it was real or whether he had imagined it, in his insomnia. His heart pounding in his chest, added to the sounds that were plaguing him.

Something bumped to his side and Thor gasped, his head turning towards the sound, as though he could see. His chest moved up and down rapidly.

There was silence as Thor focused on the presence, on something, on the bump, a foot step, anything. He wanted to hear a scuff on the ground, a sound on the dark, a breath, a whisper…

And then Thor realized something terrible.

There was no sound in the room.

A second later, it felt like something exploded beside him and Thor cried out, shouting as loud screeching sounds assaulted him, he felt like bats flew around him and he kicked out, screaming, as they enveloped him, bit him scratched him, their wings flapping against him.

“Thor!”

Thor screamed and bucked, turning and falling off the side of the bed, hitting the floor with a smack, the bats following

“Get off me!!” he screamed, his eyes wide, his body stinging and burning with their scratches

Thor struggled and felt like someone was ripping his skin apart and he sobbed, feeling his warm blood slip down his body.

“Thor!”

Thor kicked out and thrashed on the floor, crying and screaming and struggling against the thing on him.

He was going to die

He was going to die!

“Thor!”

It stopped.

He gasped, jolting, his eyes wide as he lay there, trembling. He was panting heavily, there was sweat on his body and he gulped loudly when he felt someone move closer.

“No!” Thor pleaded, cowering when someone touched him

“Hush, my love, it’s me” Loki whispered

His voice was wavering, Loki’s eyes were wide as he looked down at his husband, who was shaking on the cold floor.

Gently, he took his face in his hands and calmed him down

“Easy, breathe, Thor, breathe…”

Thor felt his touch and felt him come closer.

“L-Loki…”

“It’s alright, calm down”

“Where are they?” Thor gasped “The bats, they attacked me, where are they?”

“Nothing is here, love, it was a dream, a night terror” Loki soothed, brushing his hair back “Oh, Thor, you are shivering, come here”

“I’m b-bleeding…”

“No, darling, you are fine, I promise” Loki whispered

Thor was confused, he felt it, he was bleeding!

Wasn’t he?

Swallowing nervously and letting Loki pull him up and into their bed again. Loki set Thor down and lay beside him on his side, his head propped up by his elbow.

Thor lay there, his long hair around him, his muscled body moving with every desperate breath he took. It was glistening in perspiration and Loki sighed

“Oh, you poor dear” he whispered, pulling the sheets over him

He waved a hand and silence fell around Thor, so he could sleep

“I’m here”

He came to rest against him, holding him tight.

“It was real” Thor whispered “I didn’t fall asleep, Loki, it was real…”

Loki kissed his jaw “Well its over then, I am here”

He kissed his neck

“I won’t leave you alright?”

Thor swallowed heavily and his arms came around Loki when he embraced him but he couldn’t sleep all night.

Because he could sense it, the presence.

It was so close…

***

It didn’t end.

Not that night

Not when things were still left undone.

It was just before dawn, just when the dim light tried to touch the horizon, that Thor was woken again.

“Fool….”

Thor’s eyes opened and he swallowed thickly, looking into the darkness.

“You think you can defeat me…?” the raspy, rumbling voice asked “You think you can hide behind that beautiful pet you have curled up against you?”

Thor shut his eyes, willing it to go away. It was a dream. It was just a dream.

“You have no idea what I have planned for you….” the voice said “Let me … show you…aye?”

Thor felt tingling behind his lids and he opened them slowly, going very still in fright when he saw a small dot, gradually growing bigger and bigger until it blurred into the world around him.

“It was so simple just to make you see…”

Thor’s heart stopped as his vision cleared.

He could see.

He could see…!

He sat up, looking around, blinking a few times to get a grip on his surroundings.

And to see what was in the room.

The drapes around the bed were opened and Thor could see the entire room. His heart, once more pounded within his chest, his eyes were wide as he searched.

There was no one.

Not a thing moved.

“Show yourself…”

Laughter bubbled in his ear, evil and burning and Thor turned to the left, where Loki lay and he gasped as what he saw.

A demon, a black faced monster rested where Loki was.

“You think this is your beloved Loki beside you?” it taunted, its voice sharp, piercing and rasping “He hasn’t slept here tonight, boy…”

“What are you…?” Thor gasped, inching away

The creature sat up and looked at him.

It was entirely black, its body crooked, its eyes red, bleeding out. It smiled at Thor, a chuckle escaping its slit, lipless mouth.

“You have not heard of me?” it taunted

The moment it leaned close, raised a hand to touch him, Thor was out of bed, standing and glaring at it.

“You are real, I knew it!” he snarled “It wasn’t a dream!”

The monster laughed “Nay, but your tortures at my hand, were. You think it is over, Spare Son, you think it is done? Nay…”

It cackled and Thor felt his heart stop as it crawled, like a lifeless, boneless thing, off the bed to follow him.

“You think your presence in Jotunhiem is a mistake, that it was a fluke that brought you here, no” it rasped, voice like the sound dried leaves made when crushed under Thor’s boot “I am the reason you are here, I did everything…”

Thor retreated as the thing advanced on him slowly

“It was I who killed Sigyn, I who killed your mother, I who wrote down everything that will happen to you and everything that has” it laughed, its voice separating into two “Do you understand what I am now?”

Thor shook his head “Nay, I care not, but come closer and I will hurt you”

“Thor!” it cackled, head thrown back “You cannot hurt me, you have no idea what I am, you foolish child! You cannot fight me!”

It lashed out with its gnarled, oozing hand and Thor cried out when a lamp exploded, when their desk moved and paintings fell off the walls – Thor’s paintings, his works, shattering to the ground, then burning as they were set aflame with magic.

“I am the one everyone fears and loathes, curses and loves, prays to and blasphemes against” the monster hissed

Thor felt the wall behind his back, his heart racing in his chest.

“Have you guessed yet?”

Thor stared, his eyes wide, said not a word and the monster snarled at him.

“You know me!” it roared a second before it crouched…

And lunged

Thor cried out of sheer terror, jumping aside, his hand slashing the air as though it would protect him.

He didn’t expect it to, but his forearm hit the monster and it stumbled to the side.

Thor turned to look, his eyes wide in disbelief as it turned to face him, its distorted face shocked. It hadn’t expected the hit, it hadn’t expected it to land and Thor saw his chance.

He swung with a fist, right into the monster’s face and it screeched in agony, spinning and falling to the floor, hitting it with deadly harshness.

Thor was upon it in an instant, his hands around its throat.

“You will torment me no longer, monster!”

The thing struggled underneath him, his hands scrabbling to dislodge his large hands from its throat. There was desperation in its movements, the sounds it made and in that bid, it changed its form.

Loki lay beneath him know, Thor was choking Loki.

His eyes were wide, tears slipped down his cheeks, his face was red and he fought, he struggled.

“Thor…!” he choked, pleading and gasping.

For a second, Thor relented, confused, but realized that it was a trick – and pressed down harder.

He could feel the creature weaken and looked down at it

“Die…” he snarled

He thought himself to be a winner but not a second later, ‘Loki’ gave a blast of magic and threw him across the room.

Thor grunted as he hit the opposite wall and Loki sat up, gasping, a hand around his neck, trying to breathe.

His eyes were wide, scared and focused on the floor.

He’d woken to see Thor talking to something, perhaps to him, but he spoke another language, something Loki had never heard and it scared the life out of him.

He tried to reason, to walk to him and this happened.

Thor attacked him!

A roar sounded to the side and Loki gasped as Thor was upon him again, both of them falling to the ground.

“Thor!” Loki screamed as Thor grabbed his hair and yanked his head back “Stop it, it’s me!!”

“Liar!”

Thor had a shard of glass raised in his hand and Loki’s eyes widened as he saw him hold it to tight his hand bled.

He brought it down a second after Loki threw another blast of magic at him.

This was stronger and Thor was thrown across the room, crashing onto the bed so hard it broke, shattering upon him.

Loki got to his feet just as the doors to his chambers banged open.

He ran to Helblindi and the two guards behind him, who were panting heavily, because of the flight of stairs they had climbed.

Helblindi grabbed Loki and pulled him against him tightly and Loki gasped in horror, trembling.

A groan sounded from the bed and Helblindi took a step into the room, holding Loki tighter when he made to escape.

“Oh norns….”

There was a shard of Loki’s bed protruding from Thor’s middle, jagged and red with his blood.

***

“He will live…”

Loki gasped in relief and clung to Laufey’s robes. There was a ring of bruises around his neck, one on his cheek.

They sat in the healing rooms, Odin and Balder by them.

They had been notified by Laufey and though Loki ignored them, he was glad Balder was here.

They would make sure Thor would be alright. The healers worked on him for a long time before they told them anything, not wanting to give hope where there was none.

Laufey’s arm came around Loki and Helblindi rested his hand on his shoulder the moment soft laughter filled the rooms.

“You think this is over?”

Loki’s blood ran cold as Thor raised his head and looked at him.

“You think I will let you live, no….”

Laufey and Helblindi stared, their expressions hard.

“The Spare Son will leave no Jotun alive, he will kill them all”

Thor laughed and fell back, Balder staring at him in horror.

His eyes – they were glowing blue. No irises, nothing other than that glow.

“Fools think that he will survive by killing me like he killed Sigyn, no…” Thor sang “He will die, I will burn him to death!!”

Loki flinched, shock silencing him

“I will burn you all, no Jotun will survive!”

Odin listened and stepped forward, glaring at his son

“Who are you?” he demanded “Speak freely. You talk to the ruler of the Nine Realms”

“Ha!” Thor laughed, turning to him “Ruler of the Nine Realms is going to rise, it is not you. It will never be you, old man, neither will it be those who look upon me with such horror…”

“I asked you who you are” Odin snarled “Answer me, demon!”

He slammed his staff into the ground and Thor’s back arched, an unholy screech ripped from his throat. Blood spewed from his lips and Loki turned away, hiding his face against Laufey like a child.

“Answer!” Thor gurgled “I will answer!”

His body fell back when Odin broke contact between his staff and the ground.

Thor lay there, panting, his mouth, neck and chest glistening in blood.

His blue eyes looked at Odin and he grinned

“Fimbulvetr…”

Horror broke upon Laufey then and he looked up, his eyes wide, shock on his face. That single word, that creature, looking at him had him staring at Thor’s body in terror.

Then Thor screamed and his body jerked as though he was on fire. He thrashed and screamed and yelled.

“Kill me!” he pleaded “Father, kill me, please, I cannot fight him!”

Laufey stared at him, shaking his head “I cannot…”

“Please!” Thor shouted “He’s in – in my chest, I can feel him, get him out!!”

Odin and Loki moved together. They rushed forth to Thor’s side.

Both of them held magic in their hands, both of them looked at him with purpose.

Loki to save him, Odin to kill him.

But at the last moment, when Thor looked uncertainly between Odin did something. He did something to Thor’s mind and he saw a vision completely different than what was before him,

He saw Loki, his beloved, raise his hands in a spell to kill him.

Right there.

Right now


	15. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the lovely Joann3

Skies thundered above them, angry, reflecting the desperate mood of their maker. The few who were awake and still outside, looked up at the skies, then turned around to search for shelter, dropping whatever they were doing. They knew what thunder and lightning was a herald to, they knew who would come for them if they were still awake.

Rushing to what was left of their homes, the Jotuns fled to their families, wanting to protect as many as they can before the Jotun Slayer came for them. The children were protected, the lights were doused, the worst was prepared for as they kept glancing over at the direction the Aesir camp was set.

It was like an omen to them, no snow surrounded it, a ring of nothing but barren land and death.

It was where their men went to die.

The Aesir camp was silent now, not a soul moved outside, all of them under a gentle spell which set them into a deep slumber until the caster deemed it fit to lift the curse.

But the caster, as it was, had no intention of doing anything other than escape the mountain of troubles he had gained for himself.

The tent was filled with soft whimpers as Halvor lay on the rug he’d fallen on, his hands covering his face as he wept. He could hear the voices, the pain and anger behind him and he refused to acknowledge it.

It couldn’t be real.

Loki turned his head away and Thor hissed in irritation, the strip of leather in his hand clutched tightly. He growled and grabbed Loki’s hair, making him rasp in pain, before he forced his head back to where he wanted.

Loki’s angry green eyes glared at him as Thor put the leather over his lips, then tied it firmly behind his head. He was panting heavily and looked at him, rage apparent in his eyes. Loki had been forced into a chair, his hands chained behind him, his torso and ankles tied to it. The gag was the last bit of insult Thor forced on him.

Thor straightened and brushed his hair back, breathing heavily. He looked at his hand, the back where Loki had sunk his teeth in and extracted blood.

The conflict had been short but hard. The moment Thor grabbed Loki to force him to stay, Loki had fought and this was the end result.

A rough laugh escaped Thor and he looked at Loki, showing him his hand.

“Really?” he said “You stooped so low?”

He waved his hand a little, the sting starting to register now that his blood was flowing at a normal pace.

“And here I thought we would have a better reunion”

Loki slit his eyes. His hair fell over his eyes, his beautiful face, but did nothing to quell his rage. It was heightened, if nothing else.

Thor smirked at his expression “So bitter. One would think you have reason to be offended, Loki”

He laughed at the way Loki turned away in his rage and allowed himself a second of regret before he looked to where Halvor lay. The boy was whimpering and crying, making Thor feel worse.

Thor stomped over to him and Halvor gasped, looking up the second Thor reached down to grab him.

“No!”

Loki turned back, his eyes wide, all hint of anger gone. He was scared, not for himself, but for Halvor. The way Thor held him stopped his heart and Loki yelled through the gag, trying to get him to stop.

Thor grabbed Halvor’s thin arms and shook him, making him cry out, making his hair fall over his face as he looked at him, trembling.

“You say one word of this to anyone” Thor rasped, looking into his scared grey eyes “And I will twist your neck”

Halvor shrieked when Thor jolted him

“Understand!?”

He looked at his master, his eyes watery, his face red – and nodded. He wouldn’t tell anyone.

“Good”

Thor let him go, shoving him back, and Halvor fell on his rear. He didn’t dare look up, not even when Thor turned away and grabbed his cloak, not when he headed to the flap of the tent, not when he picked up his hammer and walked out as though nothing was out of the ordinary.

HE couldn’t look up.

He just couldn’t.

***

Loki was exhausted.

His head was spinning and it took a shocking amount of effort for him to raise his head. His hair hung over his face and the back of his neck hurt because it hung so low for so long. He hissed behind his gag when he tried to move it and searing pain went from the base of his neck to the side of his head.

It was brutal.

His vision blurred for a second, Loki could hear his own breathing over the din of what was happening outside.

He heard movement, talking, he heard men and a few women, cheering, possibly eating.

It was morning now, from the way everyone moved Loki reasoned it was some time around noon, a little before or after.

Sniffing, he inhaled the scent of food and his eyes shut. His belly growled and Loki realized how absolutely famished he was. Even in his despair, he was hungry.

But then again, it had been this way ever since he had his…

“Master!”

Loki groaned, unable to lift his head, but hearing that soothing voice.

Two gentle hands cradled his head and lifted it, brushing his hair back.

“Oh Norns, look at you”

Loki looked into Halvor’s eyes, then went to the bruise in his face. A furrow touched his brow and Halvor clicked his tongue.

“Forget it, I will live” he said softly, looking at Loki

Gods above, he looked terrible!

Halvor looked to the flap of the tent and then back at Loki, thinking it over, hesitating just for a few seconds before he stood and went to where he had placed a knife along with some fruit.

He brought the knife over and went behind Loki, cutting through his ropes. His hands were freed and Loki almost fell headfirst into the carpets, had Halvor not put an arm around him.

“Easy” he said softly “You will be alright”

Loki’s ankles he freed one by one, then he pulled the gag off.

Behind it, Loki’s lips were chapped and he inhaled sharply, letting Halvor take his weight when he put Loki’s arm around his shoulder and carried him to Thor’s bed.

He lay back on it gratefully, hissing when his back protested.

“Forgive me” Halvor whispered

He went to fetch water, sitting beside Loki.

“Just have a little” Halvor said, making Loki move enough that Halvor could place his head in his lap, enough to prop him up.

Handing him the water, he watched Loki drink, brushing his fingers through his hair as his head rested against him.

Loki finished the entire goblet and Halvor let him lay down once more, putting a pillow under his head.

“I will take care of you, alright?”

Loki nodded, barely able to respond. He was tired and without his magic he was left weak and helpless. He looked at the bands on his arms and didn’t even bother trying to free himself.

It would be of no use.

A gentle hand rested on his shoulder and Halvor got his attention, smiling when he sat beside him, a plate in his lap as he peeled an apple for Loki.

“I remember you doing this when I was sick” Halvor said softly “Now I finally get to return the favor”

His eyes were shining with tears and his voice shook. Yet he cut a slice and brought it to Loki’s lips, letting him eat it.

Loki took the fruit then raised a hand, brushing Halvor’s hair back, touching his bruise gently with his thumb.

Halvor lowered his gaze “He is terribly hurt and afraid. He would not have done this otherwise”

Loki said nothing, he simply lowered his hand and lay there, letting Halvor give him the apple. He had two bananas after, upon his young master’s orders, then was allowed to rest.

Halvor kept close to him, pulling the blankets over him and then getting in behind him, holding him close. When his hand came around him, Loki held it, trying to pretend he didn’t hear the soft weeping that came from over his shoulder.

Halvor was heartbroken over what had happened, over everything. Thor and Loki had been like his parents and seeing what had happened, made him devastated. It broke his heart.

He’d dedicated himself to Thor, following him when Thor had asked and now he was hit with the fact that Loki had lost him. Loki, who had raised him, kept him, took care of him – had lost him. His heart was torn in two and he had no idea how to proceed, especially now that Loki was here with him. Trapped, but still with him.

He sniffed and Loki pat his hand

“Enough tears,” he whispered “Everything will right itself, alright? We just have to be brave for a little while longer, I swear”

Halvor sniffed as a response and rubbed his face against Loki’s shoulder.

“I don’t know why this happened” he whispered “You two were so happy…”

“I know” Loki said “I am still unable to understand what happened, trust me”

He stroked his hand a little and shut his eyes

“I’m tired”

“I will keep you safe” Halvor said “Worry not. You sleep.”

Loki felt his hands braiding his hair, brushing it back before he put it into a nice plait, keeping his hair out of his eyes. It was still soft, but clearly dirty, showing the toll this war had taken on Loki. Yet Halvor completed the warrior’s plait in Loki’s hair and Loki exhaled.

“I hope you mean that” he whispered “Because I will soon ask you for something that will make you wish you never offered to help me”

The tone of his voice, the defeated, sadness in his eyes, made Halvor look at him, slowly, sitting up so he could see his face

“What is it you want from me?” he whispered, both frightened and apprehensive.

Loki looked at him and spoke, a whisper left his lips and Halvor paled. He went paler than he already was and gaped at Loki. His grey eyes were wide and he realized the magnitude of the betrayal between both Thor and Loki.

Oh norns…

What had the fates done to them?!

***

The sun was shining outside, upon the snow, the backs of those who worked to get their belongings and what not back to where they had unloaded them from. Carts, carriages and vehicles that had been destroyed were being dismantled and taken apart to fix those that they could still salvage.

Of course, the order for new vehicles has been sent to the capital and would be arriving shortly. However, being who he was, Thor believed that nothing should be wasted and watched as his strong men and women carried, hammered and sliced pieces of wood and metal off the broken ships and place them on those which were fixed.

His back was proud. If anything, the Spare Son was that – proud. Despite everything he had done, his back stayed straight, his head stayed high. There was no limit to what he was capable of and he knew it.

The hammer always at his side, only proved it.

Thor exhaled, wrapped in his furs and cloaks, watching the work taking place. He spotted Balder standing in the middle, barking out orders to their men and he saw Tyr, helping those who needed it. Every now and then, he would give Balder a glare to let him know he was overstepping, but other than that, he kept on working.

Steam formed before Thor’s face as he exhaled once more, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.

“Dare I approach without the fear of beheading?”

Thor closed his eyes a moment, just a moment, to pray for patience when he heard and felt his imposing father come to stand beside him.

“Is your sour mood gone yet or not?” Odin asked “I have a few things I wish to go over with you”

“My mood is not of your concern, King, say what you want and I will obey” Thor said, looking out at what was happening, once more.

Odin looked at him, partly proud, partly miffed. His pawn was growing, aye, but he was growing to be a nuisance. Odin would have to fix it.

“I wanted to ask you to come to Asgard rather than stay here” Odin said, making Thor turn and look at him, surprised “I know the real intention was otherwise, but the palace is destroyed, there is little that you can have when you are here”

He placed a hand on Thor’s shoulder

“Come back till I have this place stabilized” he said “Then you can rule as King. You will control the Casket and we will have what we want”

“Aye” Thor said “Revenge”

Odin chuckled “Nay. An invincible army, Thor.”

When the Spare Son frowned, Odin continued

“An army that can stand against the demon Memphisto and his realm. Once we have that demon taken down, nothing will stand in our way.”

Thor raised a brow but said nothing. Asgard gave him more time to stay away and come to terms with his heart. He needed to get away from this familiarity and go to a place which meant nothing to him.

“And what we want” Thor said “lies in the heart of Muspelheim, aye?”

“Aye” Odin smiled.

He looked down to where everyone was working then on the horizon, where a thin stripe of smoke gave away the refuge of the Jotuns. A smile curved his lips and he looked at Thor, wondering if he should test him or not.

The way he looked _everywhere_ but at the smoke revealed how he truly felt and though Odin had told himself that he _had_ Thor fully under control, the longing in his eyes said otherwise.

“Why don’t you take a scouting party today?” Odin asked, his voice suddenly cheerful “See if there are any rogues around the camp borders. If there are, catch them or kill them”

“Yes, my lord”

Odin pat his back and stood beside him, watching the horizon. He could see the torment in Thor’s eyes, the way he tensed because of the arm on his shoulder. It was obvious, the pain Thor was in but Odin was hesitant to press it at the moment.

He feared that should he do it, he would push Thor away rather than keep him close.

“Have you any other order to give me?” Thor asked after a long time was spent standing side by side.

“Nay, for now that will be all” Odin smiled at him, his eye as cold as his heart.

“Then pray excuse me” Thor ducked out from within his grasp “I wish to break fast.”

“Of course, would you like me to accompany you?” Odin asked, facing him as Thor stepped back and behind him

“Thank you for your offer, but you know I dine alone”

This was the second time Thor had refused to dine with him, though this was slightly less hostile. Thor’s moods were as unpredictable as the rain of late, so Odin let him be.

For the moment, he had everything the way he wanted to be so he could afford a little leeway.

“You are dismissed”

Thor hummed but said nothing. He bowed his head once before he turned and trudged back through the snow and ice, going to where breakfast was being prepared.

Since they were at war, they used what they could. Even though Odin had a grand breakfast, lunch and dinner every day, Thor preferred to dine with his fellow warriors. His brothers were there for his father, Thor would not be missed.

The porridge, when Thor reached the large area dedicated to cooking, was slightly thin, but it was nothing a few pieces of bread and honey could not fix. He thanked Volstagg and the few boys beside him as they cooked, took two bowls, two pieces of bread and one warm keg of broth. It steamed as he moved, carrying everything on a tray, held in one strong hand.

People moved out of his way or ignored him. It proved how respected and disrespected he was at the same time. As a General, he was obeyed, as a man – well, he was still living down the disgrace of being’s a Jotun’s whore.

His booted feet crushed the ground beneath them as he walked and the two guards by the mouth of his tent straightened when he arrived.

“You are relieved of your shift” Thor rumbled, walking in “Leave me in peace”

Both men nodded and rushed to leave the Spare Son’s tent. Their departure meant nothing to Thor because the moment he walked in, his eyes went to the bed.

He had not come back since the night prior and he watched the two figures sleeping in his bed. Loki was curled up in the middle of the bed, Halvor was right behind him. They both looked exhausted, Halvor looked beaten. The bruise on his face blared on his pale skin and Thor felt such guilt form on his heart that he could barely breathe.

Halvor was his only friend.

The only one who mattered to him because he still cared.

And Thor had hurt him.

It was painful to see, so Thor turned away, walking to his table to put his tray down before he went to where both of them lay.

He stood looking down at them both for a while, uncertain as to how he should wake them.

Breakfast would get cold and he didn’t want to waste it. Yet at the same time, he didn’t want to break this serenity.

This way he could pretend they still liked him.

Because when they woke he would see anger, fear and hurt in their eyes. All turned towards him.

Exhaling, Thor bent and placed a gentle hand on Halvor’s shoulder. He didn’t shake him, he let it stay, until the weight and warmth of his hand made Halvor move.

His eyes fluttered and he frowned before he detached from Loki and looked over his shoulder at Thor.

Thor immediately stepped back, showing he meant no harm despite what he had done. He even raised his hands.

“Breakfast for you and Loki is on the table” Thor whispered “You should have it before it gets cold.”

Halvor, who had shrunk away from Thor, pressing against Loki, nodded. He didn’t look at Thor, it was too soon. He didn’t speak, he feared his voice would break. He merely nodded his head and stayed where he was, waiting for Thor to leave.

Thor sighed, his chest hurting even though he expected this reaction. He nodded and slowly made his way to the flap of the tent, leaving them once more.

Halvor didn’t like what had happened but at the moment he was terrified, unsure and with the information Loki gave him, he had no idea who to support. He sat there, contemplating what he should do next and looked at Loki, who was dirty, tired and possibly miserable. He looked gaunt, nothing like the young man he had seen run away when everything turned for the worst.

Slowly, so as not to startle him, Halvor reached over and shook Loki by the shoulder, keeping his touch soft. He saw Loki frown and pulled his hand back

“Loki, wake up” he said “Breakfast is getting cold”

There was a flutter in Loki’s eye lids and he sighed, shaking his head “I’m not hungry, please let me sleep”

Halvor sighed in mild annoyance “No, you can sleep later, get up”

Loki frowned at him, turning to give him a lukewarm glare but it faded when he saw the bruise on Halvor’s cheek. The boy was trying hard to keep the trauma of what had happened away, but it was clear in his eyes, especially around Loki, who was the one responsible for raising Halvor.

Raising a hand, Loki brushed his hair back, so he could look at his face properly. He touched the bruise with the back of his finger and let out a soft breath, hinted with pain.

“I’m sorry” Loki whispered “For dragging you into this, I never should have come”

Halvor smiled, just a little “You think that would have kept us apart? We are family, you and I. We were bound to run into each other”

“Perhaps” Loki said, his voice still soft, laced with pain “But we will never know because I came to get you”

Halvor rolled his eyes and said nothing for a moment, letting Loki have his moment of drama.

He got off the bed and stretched, sighing when his back popped and then relaxing entirely. He looked over his shoulder at Loki, who sat up in bed and was taking in his surroundings. By the look in his eyes, he already thought of it as his prison. He hated everything that was in here, none of it was _Thor_.

This was the camp of Odin’s pawn, his minion.

Thor would ever do this, he would never take the Casket or keep Loki here when he didn’t want to be. This was the residence of the man Odin had taken over.

Halvor knew this because he had seen the same thing, felt the same when he had first come back to Thor’s employ. Thor might look like their man, might have the same name but he was far from Loki’s beautiful husband.

This was a warrior.

This was an Aesir.

Running his hand through his dirty hair, Loki made to get off the bed, his knees and bones cracking loudly, evidence of how tired he was.

Halvor grimaced and looked at him.

“When we are done with breakfast, I will prepare a bath for you, aye?” he asked softly

Loki looked at him, both ashamed and grateful. He looked away, soon after, as though not capable of meeting his eyes.

“You do not have to”

“Aye, but I want to” Halvor said “Plus, someone has to care for knobbly knees, I heard they are lethal at your age”

Loki gave him a dry glare then, showing a bit of his old self in his tired eyes. It gave Halvor hope and he nodded to the table.

“Come on” he said “We ‘feast’”

Loki knew the breakfast was far from what he was used to. But with the way they were and the toll the year long war had taken on them, he was glad for anything he got to eat.

He stood and winced at Halvor

“I need to relieve myself”

Halvor chuckled and nodded to a small partition in the tent. It was hidden behind Thor’s wardrobe, a small rectangular section which hid the lavatory facilities.

“That is where you can conduct your princely business”

Loki inclined his jaw, kept his insults to himself and went to do what he had to. Meanwhile, Halvor went outside to get Loki a basin of hot water, large enough for him to clean up as much as he could, then set a fire and a large round pot on it. This was to be for Loki’s morning routine.

He came back, smiling when he saw Loki looking for water.

“Here you are, my lord” Halvor said, trying to be cheerful.

Loki appreciated it and washed his hands, arms and face as Halvor went to sit at the table. There were two places set, one for him, one for Thor.

Thor never treated him as a servant, even when he commanded him to give him something. So, the slap, the threat … it has been something neither Loki nor Halvor expected.

And it was a terrifying thought.

Halvor, even with the bruise on his face, was slowly cheering up, as was his disposition. It was easier, though slightly hard, to follow.

Loki gave him a smile in return before he dried his hands and came to sit opposite him. The breakfast was – unappetizing. That was the least offensive way Loki would put it, yet he ate it as though it was the most delicious thing he had ever eaten. Halvor was slightly more reserved, on account of watching Loki carefully. The way Loki ate, made something unpleasant coil in his chest and he raised an eyebrow at him.

“When was the last time you ate something, my lord?” Halvor asked softly, afraid of the answer.

Loki looked at him, a blush on his cheeks, both from the warmth of the porridge and possibly being ashamed.

He slowly set his spoon down and ran a hand through his hair “Three days? I think”

It had broken Halvor’s heart, the boy was sure. He felt it break, felt it shatter into a thousand little pieces.

Loki shook his head “Don’t. It’s alright, I am alright”

Halvor swallowed and stood “I will – will get you more”

Loki’s eyes widened and he got to his feet to stop him “Halvor, there is no …”

But Halvor did not listen.

He fled as though the demons from Muspelheim were on his heels and Loki followed, just till the flap. It was broad daylight and the Aesir camp was awake. His spell had long since worn off, there was no chance for him to be seen and be saved.

If he was to escape, it would be at nightfall.

Loki would wait.

Rolling his eyes at his own stupid predicament, Loki spun on his heel and went back into the safety of the tent.

Alone for the first time since he was captured, Loki lowered his gaze to the braces around his arms.

They were an insult and he glowered at them, feeling frustrated tears form in his eyes because of them. It was unfair, this entire situation was so terrible he had no idea what to do!

Not only had he lost his magic, he had lost the man he loved. He had become a widower twice in one lifetime, such was his curse. His life was meant for pain, for suffering.

He was caught in this torture and would die here. Alone, loveless and a bitter, broken hearted soul. He was destined to be alone.

And he had no idea how to change it.

Exhaling, Loki turned and went back to the table. Some of his porridge was still left and though he was hungry, Loki could not bring himself to eat any more. Instead, like the beggar he was, he took the steaming broth, sat at his seat and started to have that. He closed his eyes, because it was delicious.

The spices, the hint of meat, the warmth was something that he needed and before he really knew it, it was gone and his hand was setting the empty keg down.

His belly full of food, Loki felt slightly better than he had when he was forced to stay here.

He closed his eyes a moment, taking in the peace of being alone in a comfortable tent, trying to keep his thoughts at bay and telling himself that he could find the courage to run from here.

He _had_ to run back, with Halvor, go home to his…

Loki opened his eyes slowly when the familiar tread of a boot sounded, right at the precipice of tent and Jotun ground.

His green eyes raised themselves to the hard features of the one man he had thought he could never face, not since he raised a blade against him.

Thor stood, strong and powerful, at the entrance of the tent. There was a knife in his hand, long and lethal. Loki eyed it carefully before he looked right into his eyes, his head cocked to the side.

“Have you come to gloat?” he asked conversationally “To mock?”

Thor’s jaw clenched but other than that he gave no reaction. He watched Loki and the Jotun King saw his resolve harden before he stepped further into the tent.

“It is my tent, in case you forget”

Loki scoffed, turning his gaze to his keg, which still had his hand wrapped around it, taking in the lingering warmth.

“Forgive me, I thought this was my prison”

Thor looked at him sharply, just for a moment, as though to say something to refute that, but stayed silent. He simply let the flap fall shut behind him and walked to where he kept his weapons. He went past Loki but neither of them looked at each other. Loki let him go somewhere behind him, focusing his eyes on the keg and keeping his hearing out for Thor, hearing whatever he was doing, where he was going.

He heard him move a few things around, then open the trunk that held his weapons, then heard the shrill sound of metal screeching against metal.

There was a thunk of the lid closing – then silence.

Loki hadn’t moved an inch when Thor turned and the prince sighed.

“Have you ever thought of how you can’t hide what you have done from the eyes of the Norns?” Loki asked, out of the blue, sudden and blunt.

Thor, who had bent to pick up his boot from where it had tipped over and fallen, turned his head to look at him.

“You think I believe in the Norns?”

Loki scoffed “Of course you don’t. Demons like you have no belief, no faith”

There was no reply, but he heard and felt Thor come over, passing him again, his blue eyes focused on Loki’s face.

“You think I am a demon?”

Loki kept looking at the keg.

“What else are you?” he asked, a smirk on his lips “To have turned from a sweet young man to a bitter warrior, after what? His first battle?”

Loki’s harsh laughter was like a whiplash to Thor.

“A blooming warrior thinks himself capable of the feelings and sentiments of someone better” he sniggered “How charming”

Thor exhaled “You have no idea what you are talking about”

“Do I truly not?”

Loki finally looked up at him, his face free of what he felt inside.

“Is it not your father’s approval you seek?” he asked “After everything he has done to you, you go to him with the sickening loyalty of any well trained dog”

Thor grit his teeth “You know nothing!”

Loki rolled his eyes “Well, if your pallor is anything to go by, then is it not good that I know _nothing_? Imagine what it would be like if I knew, Thor. Can you? You know what I am capable of.”

Thor inhaled deeply and looked away from Loki, from his all-knowing eyes. He felt his body give a shudder, he didn’t even hide it. Loki knew.

“I didn’t come here to fight”

“You and your army say otherwise” Loki cut in

Thor closed his hand into a fist, his frustration mounting “I came here to tell you not to leave this tent”

“Ah, stating the obvious, then” Loki mocked “You were good at that. I am a prisoner, where am I to go?”

“I know how that conniving mind of yours works” Thor turned to him “Know that any attempt at escape will not be well met. You are to stay inside at all costs, or I start breaking your limbs”

Loki gave a dry laugh “Just like my heart, then”

This time, Thor scoffed at him, his eyes filled with pain. His body was strong, aye, but his heart was weak – especially for Loki.

Even with the black armor he wore, the way his muscles protruded, the strength he displayed, he was weak.

“As if you have a heart to break” he said softly

Loki’s eyes shot to his face, a moment of pain flashing over his face before he smirked “You might be surprised”

“I assure you, I cannot be” Thor said

He turned then, breaking their tension, their hatred.

“I am going to kill you” Loki said “Be prepared, Son of Odin”

Thor halted, his eyes on the exit, so close to him, his body tensed.

“I know” he said softly, not even looking back.

Loki’s brow furrowed at the answer but he had no chance to reply because Thor walked off then, leaving him confused and as twisted as their situation was.

***

The scouting party were, if not exhausted, then mildly irritated at going out so soon after their duties at the camp were finished. But when the General gave an order, they had no choice but to obey. It was what they were here for.

Yet in their privacy, they called him Spare son or the Jotun’s Whore, in his presence, he was respected. Thor knew this false sentiment for what it was. He didn’t let it bother him and as he led twelve of his father’s men forward, his eyes were hooded, his winged helm sitting atop his head. He rode on his war horse, the men on their own, and led them forward with a hammer at his hip and a hard resolve in his eyes.

As he passed his tent, at the end of their encampment, he chanced a look inside. The lights were dim and he saw the movement of two figures within. Two of his men, Fandral and Hogun, stood guarding it. Under the circumstances, they were the only ones he trusted. They would ensure that Loki had everything he needed and that he was not let out of his tent.

Thor had more to worry about, he did not need the added worry of Odin seeing his once husband locked and powerless in their camp.

He intended to make the trip short, perhaps only a few hours, then he would return and guard them himself.

Thor didn’t know why, but he had no intention of letting Loki leave him again.

His horse stomped past the encampment and Thor looked around the surrounding areas. With the Jotun light, even as dim as it was, Thor could see the destruction they had caused.

The palace was still aflame, smoke was rising from it, the land beneath them was devoid of snow and ice.

The familiar land beneath his steed was still warm from the death and blood that shamed it. It was a betrayal of epic proportions and had Thor a sense of conscience, he would have stopped before it started.

Yet, it had been done – Thor could only salvage at this point.

So he did.

He salvaged what little resolve he had and led his men in, taking then far from the Aesir camp and into the woods.

The rest of the camp watched them depart and from the royal tent, larger than Thor’s Tyr kept an eye on each and every soldier that accompanied the Spare Son.

In his light armor and with his blade at his side, Tyr walked out, watching everything that was happening. Thor was leaving too soon, something was not right and he reasoned it had something to do with the scuffle and yelling he heard last night.

He had assumed it was something from his dreams, he was unusually tired last night and kept right through his shift, but he assumed it was because of the hard fight and battle they had won. Today, he felt differently and he knew it had something to do with his youngest brother.

So, as Thor left, Tyr watched till he could see him no more and then headed to the tent where Balder was getting rest after doing absolutely nothing but yell at them while they worked their asses off. He would surely _exhausted_.

Knowing that he was Crowned Prince, Tyr chose to ignore announcing himself and walked in with a purpose.

“Balder, I need a word with…”

The high pitched _scream_ that erupted from the bed Balder occupied was neither princely nor female.

It had been Balder, who pulled the blankets above him and his partner when his brother walked in.

“Get the hell out, Tyr!”

Tyr was red in the face and stood there, shocked, unable to move. His feet had topped responding and he was to suffer this sight forever.

“I’m sorry!” he croaked “Forgive me!”

“Then get out!”

Balder hurled a shoe at him and beside him, snickering and laughing behind her hand, Sif was trying so hard _not_ to cackle like an undignified hussy.

Tyr had managed to unstick himself from the ground then and turned to flee, all thoughts of Thor pushed out of his mind by the portion of Balder’s blushing rear, which he had managed to leave uncovered.

Tyr knew that he had to take his eyes out now.

Perhaps he would be twice the King Odin was then. He would have to adapt to a newer lifestyle, maybe even have someone beside him to rule, maybe a strong woman with a good resolve and …

Blushing rear … Blushing Rear … _BLUSHING REAR_!

Tyr let out a whimper and went into his tent, going right to his basin and dunking his head in the cold water, letting out a howl of pure agony and praying he could un-see what had happened before him.

At his dining table, his eye brow raised, Odin watched his eldest behave and yell as though he had seen the worst form of torture possible.

He waited until Tyr was done and pulled his big wet head out of the water, looking around for a towel. He was searching for it blindly, since he had his head bent over the basin to catch the water that fell from his hair, so when it was suddenly _handed_ to him, he yelped and looked at him, blinking and throwing water everywhere.

“Oh thank the norns, I was afraid it was Balder”

Odin blinked at him a few times, watching him dry himself off

“What is wrong with you, I wonder?” he asked “not right now, but generally. Sometimes you are so good and then you behave this way and I am baffled”

Tyr laughed dryly “Must be something you ate”

“Or something your mother ate” Odin teased, getting to his feet “If you remember it takes two to…”

“Father, enough, I do not wish to be blind _and_ deaf!”

Odin grinned, laughing at him.

The difference between his treatment of Tyr and Thor, of Balder and Thor was staggering. With them he was the perfect parent, caring, laughing, smiling.

With Thor … it was _so_ different.

“Why are you to be blind?” he asked

As if on cue, the flap opened and Balder stormed in “Have you not the decency to announce yourself!?”

“Ah” Odin said, sitting down to watch these two jesters.

“Well, I would have but I didn’t know you were going to …” Tyr broke off and looked at Odin “Father, must you sit here and watch?”

Odin chuckled, delighted, and waved a hand at him “How can I not, you are better entertainment than my hired jesters”

It was such a charming insult but Balder would appreciate it another day, right now, he was keeping his flush down.

“How can we help you, Father?” he asked

“Well” Odin sniggered “You can relax, I wish to talk to Tyr about something. While he can still hear and see, of course”

Tyr groaned and Balder bit his lips to keep from smiling before he bowed to Odin and left them in privacy.

Odin waited till Balder was gone before he looked at Tyr. And there, before him, was a military man once more. Whatever order he was about to give, he expected it to be obeyed.

“Follow Thor” Odin said “I want you to find out where he is going and what he is up to.”

He saw Tyr frown and raised a hand.

“Before you say anything” he said “I have good reason. I fear he is going to look for that Jotun, possibly meet him again. If he does, I want you to catch him and bring him to me”

“Loki?” he asked “You want me to kidnap Loki?”

“Kidnap is a harsh word” Odin smiled “I want you to bring him to me and in return…”

He stood and looked at him, resolve, revenge and a hint of insanity in his eye.

“When we return to Asgard” he said “I will give you what you have been dying to have since the day you were born”

Tyr watched him, his eyes focused on his face, his heart beating inside his chest.

“I will step down and give you the Kingdom” Odin smiled at him.

He looked dangerous, lethal and more than a little crazy.

This was a man after something else.

He did not want the Casket for what he said he did.

He wanted another thing entirely… and Tyr was terrified of what it was.

***

Lunch time at the camp was just as dire as the rest of it was.

True, Loki and Halvor had their privacy and were left in peace, which was a miracle for Loki, who was a war prisoner, but it was still dire.

Both of them tried to stay calm and accept the situation for now, Loki tried not to glare at every movement their assigned guards made outside the tent and Halvor tried to care for him as bet he could.

The highlight of the day, however, was when Halvor suggested that Loki take his bath.

Halvor had once bathed Lady Freya’s cat when she visited Jotunhiem, back when everything was well in the realm.

Loki was Lady Freya’s cat – only bigger and angrier.

Halvor had to force him, quite literally force him out of the bed and into the heated water, simultaneously taking his clothes off and keeping him from scratching him or biting him.

Both of them had been soaked and Loki had watched in satisfaction as he sat in Thor’s toweling robe, as Halvor dried himself off.

And what had started the entire rebellion?

The fact that Loki would have to wear Thor’s borrowed clothes after his bath.

It had been a high level insult to him and Halvor had refused to let him sit there, stinking and dirty, over his pride.

As it turned out, Loki’s pride was powerful and a simple grab by the scruff of the neck hadn’t been enough for him. Halvor had to threaten to call Fandral and Volstagg in to help when Loki finally obeyed and took his damned bath.

Halvor took his dirty clothes away so he could wash them and Loki sat glaring at him like a wraith, poised on Thor’s chair, his green eyes narrowed to slits. Halvor only narrowed his eyes back at him before he deliberately took his clothes, pointed to the ones he’d placed on the bed and walked out, sticking his tongue at Loki.

The battle Loki had with his pride over wearing those clothes lasted as long as his will to stay cold.

Of course when Halvor came back, Loki was fully dressed and in warm clothes, sitting by the fire, which was lit in a small divot in the ground to keep it from catching to anything.

“You know” Halvor said, walking over and sitting next to him “If you had cat ears and claws you would look adorable”

Loki growled at him, his eyes narrowing to slits.

“See? You already have the growling perfected” Halvor chuckled “I almost thought that I had one of Jotunhiem’s jungle cats on my tail.”

Rolling his eyes, Loki turned away and Halvor sighed, realizing the defeat of this battle was hard for him.

“Loki” he said softly, putting an arm around him “It’s alright. In this time of war, no one would ever blame you for borrowing clothes”

Loki jut his jaw and slowly looked back at him “They’re his clothes”

Halvor felt his shoulders sag a little and sadness came over his eyes “My lord, you…”

“May I have some privacy?” Loki asked, turning his gaze towards the fire “I wish to be alone”

He knew Loki was hurt and possibly a little angry at him so Halvor didn’t take offence. He rubbed his back once before he kissed the back of his stubborn head and got to his feet.

“I will take a walk before lunch, then” he said

Loki blinked, which was the only acknowledgment he got and Halvor turned to leave. He did a quick spin on his heel before he headed out, not letting Loki’s dire mood take him down.

After he was gone, the King of Jotunhiem stayed still, sitting there for a long time before he pulled his knees up and hugged them tightly to his chest. He lowered his head into his arms and sat there, thinking.

He had to get home.

He _had_ to escape.

The safe houses Thor had built over the years were to be their home now and if he got there, he would have his family back. He would have his brother, Heron, Thrym and …

Tears filled Loki’s eyes at the thought of the one person they had lost.

During the war, the battle went on, Laufey was the one person who hadn’t returned. He was the one person who Loki would never see again.

The torment that had gone through Loki when the gates to the safe houses closed and sealed was indescribable.

He had run in with Thrym and his young son, Jarnsaxa was in the middle of the war, still. Not that Loki cared, that bastard could rot in hell.

He had herded everyone, the Dams and Beras, the children, the elderly.

Helblindi was there, too, in his royal armor, bloody and beaten, taking in as many as they could.

Their eyes had locked for a few seconds and they both realized that, as the crowd tapered and faded, that Laufey was still on the field.

Loki knew that Helblindi had guessed his intention before he even decided on it.

For the gates were closing when Loki made a dash towards them and Helblindi grabbed him around the waist, pulling him back. He fought, he brought Loki back, despite the fact that Loki screamed and struggled.

 _You can’t go to him, you can’t!_ Helblindi had yelled at him.

Loki had formed no coherent response, he had watched, his eyes horrified as the battle waged on a mile away, explosions shaking the air, the snow in Jotunhiem.

Battleships and vessels sailed across the sky and earth as Asgard attacked.

As Thor attacked.

The doors showed it to him, seared it into his green eyes for as long as he watched, before they shut with a loud thud and a wall of unbreakable ice and a sheet of sleet covered the doors, saving everyone inside.

Loki’s expression was horrified and he gaped as the doors were closed, as they were saved – and their father was not.

His body went limp and he felt Helblindi let him go.

He had apologized and Loki had turned on him, attacking him, yelling and screaming at him until two guards came over to pull him away, a healer came over to sedate him.

Yet Loki screamed.

And screamed …

A loud click made him look up and Loki froze, his eyes wide when he saw Balder standing at the flap of the tent, his blue eyes shocked, his mouth parted, unable to react.

“Loki!”

He walked to him and Loki gasped, scrambling backwards, away from him.

It made Balder freeze and he stopped, not wanting to spook him further. He watched Loki get to his feet and run towards the table, from where he grabbed the knife placed beside the fruit.

He looked wild, feral and threatened, which was not something Balder didn’t understand. He raised his hands, showing he meant no harm.

“Easy, Loki” he said, taking a step forward “I will not hurt you, alright?”

He looked so thin and weak! Balder was truly shocked.

“I came to see Thor, where is he?”

“You mean the murderous bastard?” Loki hissed “If I am lucky, dead in a ditch, somewhere.”

Balder grit his jaw but didn’t take the bait. He knew Loki was justified and nodded “Alright, fair enough, but tell me what you are doing here? Have you no sense? You will be…”

Loki’s bark of cruel laughter cut off Balder’s words

“Sense?” Loki laughed, his eyes shining with tears “Of course I have none of it! After everything that happened, everything we went through, you still think me capable of having any sense?”

There was silence, Balder couldn’t really reply to that.

“You destroyed him and turned him into a monster and look where we are!”

“Hey!” Balder said, scowling “We did no such thing! He came back to us after you tried to murder him!”

“Did I?” Loki hissed “Is that what you truly believe or are they lies your father told you?”

“Of course that is what happened, what ever lies you spew are nothing but words” Balder took a step forward.

Loki immediately stepped back, knife held dangerously.

“You don’t believe that” he smiled at him “You do not believe a word you just said. You want to believe it, so you do; taking the easy way out. But you know – you know the truth, Balder. All of you corrupted him, used him and discarded him. all you Asgardians joined together to hate him so much all he could do was run from me and seek the approval you always dangled before his eyes”

“That is not true!” Balder pointed a finger at him in anger “I love him!”

“Yet you did nothing as he spiraled like an uncontrollable storm, set on the path of his own destruction!” Loki yelled, tears slipping down his cheeks “You tormented him his entire life and couldn’t bear the thought of him being happy and in love! Why!? Tell me why you took him away from me, then, answer that!”

Loki’s voice broke at the end and he shut up and Balder stared at him, at a loss for words. He swallowed and Loki laughed maliciously.

“You know I am right”

Balder was frowning, he took a deep inhale the moment the flap was shaken.

“My prince” Fandral said “The King arrives”

Loki went white beneath his pale skin and Balder ran to him, ignoring how he lashed at him with the knife

“Keep your mouth shut and stay in there!”

Balder pushed him back until he was inside Thor’s wardrobe and he shut the doors after he took his knife. He went to the table and picked up an apple, pretending he was cutting them up.

He looked to the door, his hand shaking ever so slightly, as Odin walked in, looking around, he was surprised when he saw Balder and frowned, as though distracted.

“Thor hasn’t returned?”

“Nay, Father” Balder said, cutting up some apples “I came to meet with him, discuss the plans for tomorrow, but …”

He waved his hand

“He left.”

“Aye,” Odin looked around, then behind him “It’s been hours, he should have returned by now”

“Perhaps” Balder said, shrugging and praying Loki stayed silent.

Odin hummed and looked around again “You are alone here?”

“Yes, Father” Balder said, his heart beating

“Where is that servant boy, Hodr?”

“Halvor, Father” Balder said “He went to get lunch, I think”

“Oh”

Silence fell and Odin once more looked lost in his thoughts. Balder didn’t say a word, his heart was pounding in his chest and it was so hard to concentrate.

“Tell me when he gets back, then” Odin said “I will be in my tent”

“Of course, Father”

Balder bowed his head and Odin turned, leaning heavily on his staff as he made his way back, going to where he had come from.

The second prince waited for two long minutes before he went to open the wardrobe.

He grunted and cried out as a heavy kick landed on his face, falling hard on his back. Loki leapt over him, armed with one of Thor’s swords, clearly placed in the wardrobe.

He landed on his feet and made for the door, ready to strike down the two guards.

“Loki, stop!”

Balder’s shout made Fandral and Volstagg run in and both of them raised their weapons to stop him. Metal clanked against metal as Loki raised his sword, blocking both of them at the same time. He kicked Fandral in the middle and ducked through the space made when the warrior fell.

“Loki!”

Loki ran out, making a few of the warriors around them shout in surprise.

The cool Jotun morning hit him full blast but he didn’t care, he ran through the tent, ignoring the men running behind him. they shouted for him to stop, a few came to halt him but he blocked them all, dodged and jumped to get his way to freedom.

A commotion started and Loki was at the stables when he heard the familiar metallic thrum that sent chills through his body.

The next moment, Thor’s huge body landed right before him, making him gasp, unable to stop, and crash right into him.

Thor wasted no time, he grabbed Loki’s arm and spun him around, ignoring his pained cry as he forced him to drop the sword and twisted his arms behind his back painfully.

“No!” Loki shouted, struggling and fighting in his grip “Let go of me!”

Thor didn’t, he dragged Loki forward, uncaring if he tripped and took him back, past the shocked soldiers and stunned warriors. Past Tyr, whose eyes were wide and past Balder, who looked apprehensive.

“Anyone mentions a word of this to the King” Thor growled “Will have their heads caved in by my hammer”

No one spoke and Halvor was frozen still, his hands over his mouth as Loki was once more dragged back to Thor’s tent, shouting and hurling insults at his husband until they were silenced as Thor took him inside the tent.

***

Loki grunted as he was thrown on the ground and turned to glare at Thor, his eyes murderous. Thor was just as angry and he tied the flap of the tent close before he reached down and grabbed Loki by the arm.

Loki hissed in rage, tried to pull away but Thor didn’t let him go.

“One thing you will learn” Thor snarled, pulling him to the chair he’d been in earlier and throwing him on it “Is to obey what I say!”

“In your dreams, Odinson” Loki snarled, poised like a lethal snake “I will kill you before I do”

“I am well aware but you have no choice!” Thor snarled

Loki recoiled when he reached for him again and kicked out, taking Thor’s feet from under him. Thor grunted as he hit the floor and Loki shot off the chair, going to arm himself once more. Thor roared and got up, going after him, tackling him not two seconds later.

Loki shouted in anger as he went down under his attack and fought, struggled and tried to get him off.

“Don’t touch me, you bastard!” Loki yelled, squirming under him till he was on his back and yanking Thor’s hair hard “Get off!!”

Thor grabbed his wrist and squeezed until Loki let go, then pinned his arms down, glaring at him.

“Do you want to die?!” he yelled into Loki’s face “You want him to kill you, is that it!? He wants you, Loki, he wants you dead, is that what you want!?”

“What the hell are you talking about!?”

“My Father, you stupid fool!” Thor shook him “My Father, who else!? He is after you, he sent Tyr to find you and kidnap you, is that what you want!? You want to go to him? If so, then tell me I will let you run out and do whatever the hell you want!”

His voice was angry, so full of pain that Loki stared at him, at a loss for words.

His mouth moved a few times but he could only stare as Thor looked down at him, angry, hurt, afraid and so, so lost.

He was lost without Loki and this was when Loki saw it.

But it was masked a moment later when Thor simply got off him and let him go, going to where his ale was. He poured himself a large goblet, then drank it in one, long desperate gulp before he set it down.

He set his hands on the table, bent forward, panting heavily.

“For some reason I didn’t want to let you go” Thor said, looking over his shoulder as Loki sat up “Call it intuition, call it stupidity, I care not. But my Father is after you for a reason and I do not wish to find out”

Loki brushed his hair back into place and looked at Thor’s back.

“Tonight, he sent me to scout for you” Thor told him “Then he sent Tyr after me and told him to get you to him. He told me himself. Now I do not know what Father is planning, but I know if you walk out this tent and he sees you, you are dead”

Loki barked in a bitter laugh, that Thor hated. He hated it.

“And you think that you can get me to believe you care?” Loki asked, standing up “You think that I can forgive what you did, over that statement?”

He shook his head

“No, Thor” he cooed “no. I always knew you were stupid, but not this ridiculously dumb to think I will believe you”

“I am not lying” Thor turned to look at him “He intends to hurt you”

“And you care?” Loki asked “Look around you, Thor, you do not care! You want me dead, you want this realm taken! And you did! I might be standing here, but all I am, truly, is dead. There is nothing that keeps me alive, Thor, nothing other than the thought of making it home to my family and holding my son and talking to my brother and …”

“Your what?”

Thor’s sharp words broke into Loki’s mind and he frowned, confused.

He saw Thor standing straight, his face shocked, his body tense.

And he realized his mistake. Loki’s eyes widened and he shook his head

“Nothing, I said nothing”

“You said ‘ my son’” Thor walked towards him “You said you had a son…You said it!”

Loki retreated, shaking his head “No, no, I did not!”

“Yes, you did!”

Thor grabbed him when Loki ran out of space and looked into his frightened eyes. He saw it, he saw the truth and he was in shock.

“You have my son” Thor said “You have my child!”

“No, I do not, he is mine!” Loki snarled, tears falling down his cheeks “You left us, you left us to join this battle, that child is mine! You will not have him”

“Where is he?”

Loki felt his heart stop and kept his mouth shut, he didn’t speak.

Thor tightened his grip on him in warning and glared “Answer me, where is my son!?”

There was fear in Loki’s eyes but he managed to glare at him.

His voice shook as he answered

“Go to hell”

Thor grit his teeth and a roar erupted from his lips. He threw Loki to the ground hard, before he grabbed him by the hair and pulled him back up.

“You will answer me” Thor snarled, dragging him to the bed “Or I will make your worse fear come true”

He threw Loki on the bedding and Loki had time only to look up before Thor was upon him.

The scream that ripped from Loki’s throat then was filled with shock, horror and disbelief as Thor’s lips rested on his own and his body held him down.


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to escalate.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry, Life has been mean that is why the chapter is so late.

Thor!

His body upon his, his battle hands holding him down and his muscles tense as he used them against him was all Loki could think of.

Thor!

He was stronger than he last imagined, harder inside as well as out and it was when he felt his teeth bite and pull at his lip in a vicious kiss, that Loki realized what Thor was about to do to him.

Breaking it off by turning his head aside, Loki shouted.

“Get off of me!” he ordered, arching his back, trying to lever him off.

His feet slipped on the bed as he attempted to unbalance Thor but when he matched him move for move, Loki felt his fear rise within him.

“Thor, stop it!”

“Tell me where my son is!” Thor commanded “Tell me!”

He shook Loki angrily, slammed him down on the bed, making him dizzy, making his head spin. His eyes were closed and he pushed against Thor, still.

“No, he is mine” he said, trying to twist out from beneath him “He’s mine!”

“Like hell he is!” Thor growled, grabbing his hair and yanking his head back “Tell me!”

Loki shook his head, still fighting him, whining when Thor turned him on his front and twisted his arms behind his back. He tried to fight, he really did, but Thor had both his wrists trapped at the small of his back. His eyes filled with tears and he groaned when Thor pushed him down, then straddled his legs.

“Last chance” Thor said, his hand resting threateningly at Loki’s hip “Or I do this”

Loki was in pain, he was in unbearable agony and he turned his head enough to look at Thor, despite his hair falling over his face.

“G-Go to hell” he snarled “I will never tell”

Thor’s face twisted in rage and Loki inhaled sharply, preparing himself for this horrible violation at the hands of the man he once called husband.

Thor!

“Thor!”

Loki gasped, his eyes flying open when Thor’s weight was suddenly snatched off him and he was freed. Two unfamiliar arms came around him and hauled him up and Loki found himself looking into the eyes of the Second Prince of Asgard.

His own were shocked and he gasped, turning around when he heard a growl and a scuffle, unconsciously, hiding half behind Balder.

Tyr had pulled him off and Thor fought him – fought him so he could not continue hurting Loki.

For a moment, he was freed and Balder quickly pulled Loki behind him, keeping him shielded as Tyr once more, shoved Thor back.

“Have you lost your mind!?” Tyr shouted at him “What the hell were you doing!?”

“He has my son!” Thor yelled back, pointing at Loki “he gave birth to my child and I want to know where he is!”

“And this is the way to do it!?” Tyr snapped, keeping himself between Thor and what he wanted “Is this what you would have done to find out!?”

Thor moved to the right and Tyr blocked him, shoving him back hard enough that Thor lost his footing and fell to the floor.

“Enough!” Tyr yelled, his hand going to his blade “Do not make me fight you!”

The fall seemed to have jolted Thor enough and he lay back on his elbows, glaring at his brother. His hair fell over his face and he was panting heavily, his ice blue eyes focused first on Tyr, then Balder and Loki.

“Do you yield?” Tyr asked, his voice a dangerous rasp

Thor grit his jaw and looked at the floor, at the hand, which was clenched in his rage. He frowned when he saw a few strands of jet black hair wrapped around his fingers. He shook them off as though they burned him and sat up.

“Stay down” Tyr ordered “Stay on the ground”

Thor’s jaw inclined but he did as Tyr asked and Balder felt safe enough to move Loki. He headed to get a cloak from the side when Thor spoke.

“You take him out, I will not hesitate to burn this encampment to the ground to get him back”

His voice was thick, his threat more so. Balder stopped and Loki stood a few feet away, feeling exposed.

Thor looked at Balder, then at Tyr.

“He has my son” he said, in a much calmer fashion “I want him to live where he belongs”

“My child will never go to Asgard” Loki hissed “You have done no right to him.”

“Loki, not now” Tyr snapped

The King made to speak but Balder stepped closer and shook his head, silencing him. The Jotun glared but held his tongue and Tyr looked back at Thor.

“So you have said” he spoke “But this is no way, there is no honor in what you tried!”

“Where is the honor in anything?” Thor demanded, slowly getting to his feet.

Once more, Balder stood to shield Loki but Thor wasn’t even looking at him. He was looking at Tyr.

“Where is the honor in attacking an innocent Kingdom and taking everything from her?” he asked “Where is the honor in snatching their life source for our own agenda, Tyr, where is the honor in that?”

“That was different” Tyr hissed “It was …”

“It was to win your glory, nothing else” Thor said “The one you lost when you slaughtered and entire village of innocents, that is what you wished to redeem yourself for. Now that is it over, you stand on a high horse, looking down at me”

“I am not looking down at you” Tyr took a step closer “But I am stopping you from doing something that is against your nature”

“What do you know of my nature!?” Thor shoved Tyr

Tyr stumbled and growled, before he pushed him back, harder than before “I know it is not your nature to rape the man you love!”

Thor had fallen against a table and snarled “I hold no love for him”

“Aye, that is what you say, that is what you believe but I know better” Tyr snarled right back “Your moment of anger would have done something you would regret for the rest of your life! You have done many questionable things but this will not be one of them. You are going to calm down and leave him alone or so help me, I will make you!”

Thor was breathing heavily as he glared at his brother, at Tyr, who has pushed him back twice now. Yes, he was angry, he was murderous, but some of what Tyr said went into his brain.

As burning and hot as his rage was, he was smarter and he exhaled, his shoulders slumping as he did so. He lowered his head to the table and breathed deeply.

Balder sighed and Loki felt something clog his throat when Thor fell to his knees, as though exhausted. He hung on the table and Tyr took a few steps forward, placing a hand on his head.

“Get up” Tyr said sternly “get off your knees, sit in the chair”

He used his foot to push a chair out and then helped Thor into it. He saw Thor looking lost, confused and possibly scared, so he gave him a firm shake.

“You are not a monster”

Thor scoffed at that “Aren’t I?”

He looked him right in the eye “What else would you call me?”

“Hurt”

Thor turned his head to look to where Balder had spoken. His brother still stood by Loki but his eyes held compassion.

“You are hurt” he said “So I know that in your pain, you will try to do anything to find a justification for it. But once you have it, you will regret what you have done, Tyr is right. Calm down – and we will try to find a solution to this”

Said ‘This’ had his arms crossed over his chest and glared at the floor.

“I am not staying here”

“At the moment” Tyr turned to face him “This is the safest place you will be”

Loki looked at him, a furrow in his brow “You _must_ be joking”

“I am not” Tyr said “My father sent me to follow Thor so I could kidnap you. I do not know what for, but I am sure it will not be pleasant. Until we find out, you are to stay here?”

“Stay here?” Loki asked, frowning “In the camp of my enemy?”

“Aye, in the camp of your enemy” Tyr replied “And try not to agitate Thor. I know it is hard for a man of your sharp tongue, but be wary. He will not respond kindly to your mocking”

“I am not telling him where my son is” Loki said defiantly

“Then do not” Tyr spoke before Thor could “But know that he is his father, as much as you are. And that you will take the basest of bonds from your own child”

Loki said nothing. He inhaled deeply and glared just as defiantly as before.

And in his chair, Thor felt that yet another part of him had just shriveled and died inside his cold, black soul.

He looked at the table and scratched at the surface when the drape to his tent was parted without warning.

Balder shielded Loki but it was not needed, since Halvor was the one who entered, his face pale.

“M-My Princes” he said “The King demands all three of you to come to him”

The brothers looked at one another, then at Halvor.

“Go” Halvor walked forward, ignoring Thor completely “I will take care of everything here”

Everything, Thor thought, not even the norns themselves would be able to fix everything.

Not for him.

***

Odin could see that something was wrong with all three of his children. They avoided looking at each other and looked angry, all three of them. The King had heard of a commotion that happened in Thor’s tent and outside and he assumed that all three of them had had an argument, which could have escalated to violence.

Not that he cared, at the moment, his mind was on other more important things which he wanted to be done with.

His sons would take over when he is gone and he wanted them to learn as much as they could. That is why there was a map open before him and three large circles drawn on different parts, denoting places he clearly thought important.

He rested his fists on the map, leaning over his heavily as he looked down at it, at the notes and scribbles written in his script with red ink. There were a few stains where he had accidentally wiped ink with his hand but it was not even important to acknowledge.

Right now, his mind was on other, more important things. He needed aid and he was to send his sons out to get it for him.

“We have an encountered a problem”

His voice resonated in the large tent and spread an emphatic sort of despair over his three sons. The men stood, their hands tied before them in respect, their eyes on the table on which the map was spread out. They could read what Odin had written and from what each of them could make out, they were probably headed further into Jotunhiem, deeper than they had ever gone.

“The realm is starting to fight back” Odin told them “There is a rebellion starting, armies are being prepared to fight against us here….” He pointed to the circles one by one “Here and here. From what I have heard, the different tribes have gathered under the banner of a single Jotun, letting him lead them as he travels from place to place.”

Odin raised his eye to Tyr.

“He must be stopped”

They assumed as much, which was why they all kept their respective emotions at bay. It would do no good to react as they wanted to before Odin.

“We will be leaving soon” Tyr said, instead of relaying his true thoughts “Will it not be an inconvenience to go after them when we have what we want?”

Odin looked at him, more than a little sternly.

“And then you wonder why I have not made you King yet”

Tyr’s jaw clenched and his blue eyes flashed but that was it. Beside him, Balder watched him warily, hoping he keep his cool – which was a legitimate fear, considering what had just occurred in Thor’s tent.

“Thor is to rule this realm” Odin said “It will do him no good if he were to be faced with civil war so soon into his rule”

There was little reaction from the third prince, a single glance was spared to his father before he once more looked at the map. He knew very well where these places were, he could easily find them.

Yet he did not share that information with his father.

Tyr sighed and refrained from speaking his mind, once more looking at the map.

“So what is your plan?” he asked

Odin seemed pleased at his question and pointed to a part of the hills that had a tiny red cross next to it on the map.

“There is an Alfhiem Viceroy living in these hills” he said “He is known for keeping Jotun slaves in his land. Over the course of his war he has collected them, giving them a place to stay in exchange for their loyalty.”

Ah yes, Thor had heard of him. The mouse faced, greedy scum was a problem when he came back to Jotunhiem. There was talk of his arrest before the war hit and Thor was more than a little miffed at the fact that the rat had managed to stay safe.

He was sure Odin had something to do with it.

Thor looked to his father, waiting for more on this plan.

“The viceroy knows who this man leading the war is” Odin said “Give him money and protection in exchange for the information then report back to me”

Tyr nodded and bowed his head “Aye, Father”

He turned to go when Odin clicked his tongue

“Nay, not you” Odin said “A meeting with someone like him is beneath you. Thor will go”

Balder looked at his father in disbelief and Tyr’s lips tightened in affront. Yet he said nothing. Thor on the other hand gave not a hint of emotion.

His eyes were fixed on Odin and he nodded.

“Of course, my lord”

“You are to return as soon as you can” Odin said “Take your servant with you, there is a threat of a blizzard and should you need to stay there for its arrival, I want you to have someone to care for you”

“Yes, Sir” Thor said, his voice soft once more.

Both Balder and Tyr watched him, wondering if he had a plan in mind but Odin waved a hand at them.

“You are dismissed” the King said “Tyr, however, I wish to speak to you”

The eldest son stopped following his brothers, watching them both leave the tent while he stayed behind. His back was straight and he knew what Odin was going to ask so he was prepared.

It still took him a few heartbeats to turn to his father after the flap was closed.

“Aye, my King?”

“Did you do as I asked?” Odin inquired, his eye focused on his face “Did you follow Thor?”

“Yes” Tyr said “But there was no camp there. There was a fire, aye, but beyond that nothing.”

Odin frowned “How can that be? They could not have gone far”

“I saw no footprints” he said “Or tracks. Either the snow and ice covered them or they never were. I theorize that it was a distraction”

“Damn it” Odin growled, looking at the map “They must be in those safe houses, then. And those are said to be impenetrable.”

His agitation was clear and Tyr raised an eyebrow as he saw his father rub his temples, trying to think and come up with an appealing solution. There was something so different about Odin, so odd that Tyr felt right about his decision to tell Thor the truth; about how Odin wanted to find Loki. Their father was planning something horrible and he had no idea what to do about it, except lie and try to thwart his plans.

“We should get him” Odin said “You take care of this, make sure the encampment is safe while Thor is away. We stay until this rebellion is over, then find Loki and take him to Asgard”

Tyr furrowed his brow and looked at his father, his tone nonchalant as he spoke

“Why do you need him, Father?” he asked “Surely the Casket is enough”

“It is” Odin said “But Loki is the key to unlocking the secret within the Casket. Once I have that, I will do what is needed.”

Needed to what? Tyr almost asked, but he kept his mouth shut. Whatever his father was planning depended on Loki, which meant that Odin would do almost anything to get him in his hands.

And it was enough to shake Tyr’s loyalty to his father once more.

“Of course, my King”

He bowed his head and waited for more orders but when none came forth, he spun on his heel and took his leave. The preparations for the evening meal were under way. A few men and women still finished up with their lunch and when Tyr entered Thor’s tent, he saw Thor dining at his table while Loki sat on the bed with his own platter. Neither of them was looking at the other and it occurred to Tyr that Halvor, who was packing Thor’s belongings, was the only reason the two were not at each other’s throat. He feared it would not last.

However, that was the least of his problems as he stepped into the tent and Thor looked up.

“Are you taking Loki with you on your trip?” he asked

Halvor and Loki looked at him but said nothing – though he could sense Loki’s hostile glare burn through his skull.

Thor looked at him and then back to his food “No”

He didn’t elaborate and Tyr sighed. He knew this would be hard so he crossed his arms.

“I suggest that you do”

“And why should…” Loki began

Tyr turned to him “Because Father is looking for you. He wants you for something, something to do with the Casket and I fear it will not be in our best interest”

“And you care, because?” Thor asked, brows raised.

“Because it is for the good of Asgard” Tyr looked at him “I came to give you advice, Thor, if you want your stupidity to prevent it from helping you, then it is on you. I have done what I came here to do.”

Halvor raised a brow and watched as the man simply turned and left. Thor scoffed and Loki rolled his eyes before both of them went back to their meal.

“Pompous arse” Thor muttered

“Please” Loki scoffed “Do not insult the ass. It has done nothing to you”

Halvor blinked as Thor’s mouth curved at the corner and he dug into his food once more.

Both of them had talked – and there was no bloodshed!

Licking his lips, he pulled Thor’s clothing bag shut and set it on the side of the bed.

“Me thinks his skull has been beaten too many times” Halvor said, groaning as he lifted Thor’s heavy weapons and set it next to the bag afterward “Thinking to fool both of you into leaving. He probably wishes to take the encampment and leave you here”

Thor looked at him and raised an eyebrow “You are aware he could be right outside, are you not?”

Halvor only shrugged and went back to his work. He was still a little sore and Thor let him be.

However, it got him thinking of Tyr’s motive.

There had to be one, his brother did not do things for no reason.

Except for when he had warned Thor about Odin earlier…there was no reason or benefit in that and as he finished his meal, his mind started to make sense of what happened.

“Halvor?”

“Aye, my lord?” Halvor said

“Pack your things” he said “You and Loki are coming with me”

The following temper tantrum and yelling and ranting that came from Loki’s side after the announcement made Thor snicker.

Loki would fight him all the way and if he was lucky, he would suffer.

So, Thor realized in that moment of extreme pettiness, that no matter what happened, he would at least get to ruin Loki’s time all along this stupid trip.

***

Their horses were prepared and huffing, their luggage on a mule which would ride alongside them. Odin was to cast a spell on them, to keep them invisible till they reached the hills and home of the Viceroy, so it explained why they were so silent.

Loki’s hands were tied around his saddle, holding on tightly. There was a hood and scarf covering his face so that Odin would not recognize him.

He would never admit it, but he was grateful for it. It had been Thor’s doing, after he had wrapped the thick rope around Loki’s wrists, keeping him bound. He was disguised as a servant and rode behind Thor, beside Halvor, keeping his gaze low.

Tyr and Balder were aware of who he was and Loki was sure more than a few soldiers were, too. But under the threat of all three princes, no one had told Odin who he was.

Which was why now, before them all, Odin talked to Thor, gave him a map and strict instructions. Balder and Tyr were beside him, both of them pointing out various paths Thor could take to reach his destination. They were making sure he got there in time.

Loki wanted to scratch their faces and he pulled at the ropes that tied him to the mare he was on.

A soft hand rested on his own and he turned his covered face to Halvor.

“Stay calm” the boy said “Please, just until we are safe”

Loki narrowed his eyes but Halvor reached over and pulled his hood closer, fixing it for him.

Both of them kept their head lowered and though Odin didn’t even glance their way as they started, Loki couldn’t help but feel his heart beat escalate as they passed the King, who was bidding farewell to the Spare Son.

Thor led them both forward, not looking at either of them as they made their way into the Jotun wilderness, staying with the camp as much as they could.

Other warriors watched them walk on, some of them wishing Thor well, others only watching their little delegation move on through the camp, towards its edge. The ground was hard and rough, the snow having melted because of the heat of the Aesir camp, so when they eventually reached far enough to see it reemerge, Loki sighed sadly, watching the white beauty of his home.

Sadness filled his eyes and he glared at Thor.

He could easily have turned and run had his stupid mare not been tied to Thor’s horse and Loki himself bound so he was helpless.

It angered him, he hated it.

It was as though Thor sensed it and he looked back at them.

“Halvor, ride beside me, I do not wish to lose you”

Halvor nodded and walked on, looking back when Loki yelped as his mare sped up in response to Thor pulling her rope and reins.

Loki thought that he was just insulting him but he gasped loudly as, when their horses were parallel to one another, Thor moved to sit astride his horse, fitting himself behind Loki.

“What the hell are you doing!?” Loki demanded, trying to elbow him in the gut “get off!”

Halvor watched, wide eyed and Thor smiled, reaching around Loki to take the horse’s reins.

“Worry not, Loki” Thor said, his smile radiating glee “I do not wish to tire all the horses at once. We will shift to mine when Baela here it too tired”

Loki growled “Like hell I will!”

He pulled at his wrists, trying to free himself but he was unable to.

“I said get off!”

Thor ignored him and guided Baela along, aware of the fact that Loki was angry and uncomfortable. It was funny to Thor and he started to hum, which grated on Loki’s nerves.

However, the King knew Thor was doing this to get a reaction from him so he stayed silent and watched as they rode on, going deeper into Jotunhiem.

Loki was fuming the entire way, but for the moment he seemed to have calmed, though he still sat a far away from Thor as possible. Thor found it funny and though he let him be for now, he decided that their trip was going to be very interesting in this regard if nothing else.

***

They couldn’t reach the hills in one day, no. the severe Jotun weather made it impossible to travel at night. The darkness was thick, their lights could only do so much and when it became impossible to see, Thor ordered Halvor to stop.

Loki, who had fallen asleep, jolted and woke when the horse stopped and looked around. His eyes tried to find a familiar land mark, something to tell him exactly where they were but the darkness was so deep he could barely see past their horses. There was no moon tonight and escape was impossible.

When a burst of light to his side flashed, Loki turned to see Halvor and Thor working to make their tent. It would be simple, all three of them would have to share it but it would prove to be enough. Thor lit a fire a Halvor perched the tent up.

All in all, it took them nearly an hour and once it was done, Loki found himself sitting astride a horse that had calmly seated herself in the snow, her legs tucked under her as she got ready to sleep, uncaring of the burden on her back. Loki huffed and stayed on the horse, looking at the chaffed skin of his hands.

He was trying to tug himself free when a shade fell upon him and Loki looked up from where he was, so see Thor standing beside him. A knife shined in his hand and Loki scoffed.

“If you are wise you brought that to slit my throat not free me” he said

Thor didn’t reply, but he reached down and cut through Loki’s ropes. Because it was so silent, the sound was loud and Halvor watched carefully from where he was taking out their dried beef and bread. His grey eyes were large and he looked away when Thor hauled Loki up by his scruff and led him to their tent.

Loki huffed as he fell on his hands and knees on the carpets set down under their beddings. He turned to glare at Thor, his green eyes shining with rage.

Thor reached behind him and closed the flap of the tent.

Halvor turned away, he wished he could cover his ears, but he could not. He gasped when Loki’s pain filled cries started to fill the air and shut his eyes.

They started out soft, then became louder, became muffled as Loki tried to keep them from escaping his lips.

Thor rumbled orders to him, demanded he tell them where his son was.

But Loki refused and Halvor could only take so much of his pain before he broke.

“Master, please stop!”

He ran to the entrance of the tent just as Loki’s cries stopped. He parted it and saw Loki shrinking away, his hair over his face. He was holding his shaking hands to his chest, his head was lowered and he was trembling. Thor stood close by and he looked at Halvor. There was coldness in his eyes and he nodded, turning away from Loki and dropping what he had in his hand.

There were no marks on Loki, but one look at the vial told Halvor what it had been. It was a potion, designed by Odin himself. It would enhance the pain receptors in the body, make them so sensitive that even a feather light touch seemed to be a slice on the flesh.

There was no doubt about Thor giving this to Loki and torturing him in a horrible way.

And the worst thing about this was that it was Thor himself who had suffered through this potion years ago, when Odin used it on him to gain his loyalty. It was an exquisite form of torture and Halvor was shocked that Thor actually used it.

It would fade, if Loki was untouched for a while, so Halvor busied himself with setting out their bed and keeping himself in the middle. Loki’s was farthest from Thor’s, Halvor made sure. Then he left Loki to compose himself, going outside.

Thor was placing thick blankets on the horses to keep them warm, his half eaten dinner was by the fire. Halvor paid him no heed and quickly gathered some dinner for him and Loki, taking it inside. Loki had not moved from where he was so Halvor went to crouch by him, setting their dinner down.

“Hush, my lord” he said when Loki let out a soft whimper “I will not hurt you”

He reached up and brushed Loki’s hair back, his mouth parting in hurt when he saw a black eye hidden behind his hair.

“Oh Norns…”

Loki looked absolutely devastated and Halvor gently moved closer, putting his arms around him, holding his once powerful King as though he held a child. He placed a hand over Loki’s head, brushing his hair back.

“It will be alright, my lord” he soothed “Calm down”

Loki nodded and tried to listen to him but Halvor had to stay with him for the entirety of their dinner. Of course that gave Loki the strength he needed to collect himself and when Halvor looked at him once he returned from clearing up their dinner, he saw a King once more.

There was no weakness behind his eyes.

He smiled and nodded to Halvor, which was a silent thank you for him. His bruise had gotten darker and he glared at Thor when the man walked in. his eye was half closed but the lethal look he gave his once lover was enough to sear a weaker man.

Yet Thor stayed aloof. He pulled out his thick furs and set them on the bed, ignoring them both. He was their captor and they were his slaves.

Halvor kept in the middle and Loki waited until Thor was under the covers before he got into his own. Halvor turned down the lamp and lay between them, his back to Thor.

Their own warmth was all they had so when Halvor moved away from Thor and pressed against Loki to comfort him, Thor told himself it did not both him.

In truth, his soul felt like it was being ripped apart.

He was nearing his end.

And Thor feared that Loki would be there to witness it.

***

The Viceroy was every bit the rat Thor had thought him to be.

He had innocent blue eyes, pale skin and the air of someone far cleverer than he was in reality. Thor did not know his real name but here he was called Azure – an insult to the color itself. Azure was ‘delicate’ and prided himself on his slender form, his dress and ability to keep up his lavish lifestyle despite the war having taken its toll on the entire realm.

Everything from his loose, flouncy robes to the delicacies placed at his table was an insult to Thor, to Jotunhiem herself. Azure no doubt knew it, yet he called for Thor to sit and enjoy while his guards escorted the _slaves_ to Thor’s chambers.

“I apologize for the lack of proper service” he said, floating from his place be Thor’s side to side with practiced, exaggerated grace on one of the couches placed on a large terrace.

The terrace over looked his slaves and their work and Thor was sure he deliberately chose this place for Thor to be brought to. The rat hadn’t even had the courtesy of meeting him himself. He had sent his servants to escort Thor, Loki and Halvor to where he was.

Of course Loki had been ignored and since he was covered and beneath Azure’s attention. Thor had wondered how Azure would react if he realized he was in the presence of his King. But he said nothing and let the menace do what he wanted, sending Loki and Halvor to rest.

Thor, unfortunately, had business to tend to.

He walked over to sit on the couch opposite Azure and looked at the food before him.

Azure’s voice was smooth, silky and he smiled at Thor, all teeth and false promises. His movements were practiced and Thor found it disgusting as he was handed a small platter of various dried fruits and some herbal tea.

“To help you” Azure beamed, condescending “It will relax you, my lord”

Thor hummed and shifted them around while Azure watched.

“You are a man of few words” Azure drawled unnecessarily “a businessman, clearly”

He preened and cooed as he talked. Thor tried not to throw up in response.

“There is little to say in a war, I am afraid, Viceroy” he said, just because that creature was looking at him

“Oh please” Azure laughed, his elvish features showing his delight ‘Call me Azure, I insist”

He had one knee over the other, crossed the way Thor had seen women do. His hands were folded over his knee and his back straight.

If Thor didn’t know better, he would say that he was trying to look attractive.

He felt a smile curve his lips and had come dried fruit to hide it.

Azure raised an eyebrow at him, cocking his head to the side “Have I said something funny?”

Thor looked at him in question “Nay, can a man not smile?”

Azure beamed “Not when he is in the middle of a war, like you said a few moments ago. What amuses you?”

“Nothing in particular” Thor said, taking his herbal tea “But thank you for your concern about my thoughts”

Azure hummed and tilted, just a little to the right, watching Thor.

“How are things at the capital?” he asked after a long few moments of silence passed “you finally won”

“That we did” Thor said “And you had a large part to play in it as well, aye? You let us in from this very palace”

Azure beamed, smiling at him “You are welcome to have that support again”

“I don’t remember thanking you” Thor said, looking at him

Azure took no offence for he probably had no shame and Thor sat back.

“My King sent me here for some information” he said “I would have it and depart, you will get your due payment and a promise of protection once the war is over, of course.”

“Oh, of course” Azure chuckled.

Thor’s eyes narrowed as he leaned over and took his own cup of tea, sipping it slowly. He knew there was a reason he was sent here and not Tyr – Tyr would have killed him.

“I am throwing a ball tonight, in your honor” Azure said “a few of my closest friends will attend and I would have you be a part of it, too. Your Father said you were to stay a few days. I would have you stay here for that period, I insist. You deserve some celebration after the war.”

“I do not come here to …”

“But I insist” Azure smiled at him “You stay. We will take care of you”

Thor hated it but he knew that the monster would only report back to his father. So he gave him a forced smile and nodded.

“Then I will stay”

“Oh, excellent!” Azure cried, clapping his hands twice “I knew you would see my way”

He lifted a hand and snapped his fingers, calling a slave over.

“Bring his royal highness the plans for the ball” he ordered when the slave came close “I wish to consult a few things with him”

Thor had turned to tell the slave not to bother. He would change nothing, the ball would be fine.

But all words died in his throat when he saw the slave. When he _recognized_ him.

Laufey’s eyes were lowered. His face was gaunt and he was thin – so thin that Thor felt his heart stop. There were shackles around his wrists, his ankles and he bowed, bowed as though this creature was above him.

Thor shot to his feet in an instant, his face pale.

“What is the meaning of this!?” he demanded

Azure looked at him, mock innocence in his eyes “What? I merely asked for the…”

He broke off when Thor moved, breaking Laufey’s shackles with his bare hands, cupping his face and looking at him.

“What - Father, what…”

He couldn’t speak and Laufey looked him dead in the eyes.

“What is the matter, my lord?” he asked, his voice dead “Have I displeased you in some way?”

Thor could have sworn the ground gave way beneath his feet. He felt like he was falling, but somehow he was still standing.

He shook his head

“I thought you dead…” Thor whispered

“Did you mourn?” Laufey asked, just for him

“Father…” Thor made to speak

He broke off when Laufey pushed his hands off and glared at him, raising his finger before Thor’s eyes.

“I am not your father”

The words broke Thor, he felt it. He felt himself die inside and he stared, letting Laufey shove him off before he bowed his head to Azure.

“I will send the plans over”

Azure, who was sitting there, beaming in delight, smiled “Good”

Laufey turned to leave and Thor still stood there, his eyes wide and filled with tears.

“Well” he Azure chirped, going back to his tea “That is not something I see everyday”

There was silence, rain started to drop in the distance, making Azure’s slaves run for cover. Clouds, grey and sad, floated in the skies, making their way over.

Azure didn’t seem fazed, having his little snack as though nothing was wrong around him. He have Thor a look, but nothing else and went back to his false tea party.

Thor still had his back to him and his eyes were wide as he contemplated what to do next, how to proceed and not let this little demon do what he had no doubt been doing for so long.

“What do you want?”

Azure looked up, blinking his heavily lined, dark blue eyes “Pardon?”

“For the freedom of that slave, what do you want?” Thor asked him plainly “I am going to be King, I will give you everything you want. So tell me. What do you want in exchange for turning that slave free?”

Azure simpered, shaking his shoulders in a delighted little dance as he sat there “A deal with the future King, I like it.”

“Spare me your theatrics” Thor rumbled, turning to face him “I know you did this on purpose. Tell me what you want”

“What I want?” Azure purred, pretending to think “Well, it depends on how much he means to you”

“If you value your life, you will keep yourself in check” Thor said “Tell me your demand”

“A place in the royal Court”

“Done” Thor said, not even hesitating “Anything else?”

“I get to live in the palace” Azure said “My own suites”

“Once the palace is repaired, I assure you, you will get it”

Azure beamed “And a proper wedding for me and my lover, whenever we choose”

“Agreed” Thor said “Now let him go”

Azure smiled and looked over Thor’s shoulder “You are free, Laufey. Go to wherever you wish, I care not”

Thor spun around and Laufey stood there, papers in his hands. His eyes were foxed on Azure and Thor could see him thinking, he could see him working things out behind those intelligent blue eyes.

“You have freed me?” Laufey asked, suspicious

“Of course” Azure said “Your future King insisted”

Laufey looked angry and Thor knew he was right in his anger, but he longed to have Laufey look at him and see some positive emotion in his eyes.

But all he saw was anger – and a little resignation.

“Then I will pack my belongings and leave by tonight” Laufey said

“Very well” Azure said, dismissively “and let Lord Loptr know”

Laufey bowed his head again and Thor watched as he turned to go.

“W-Wait”

He called before could stop himself. And to his shock, Laufey stopped.

“There – There is something warm in my rooms here” Thor said “Take it before you leave. It will help you. Take it with you”

Thor didn’t know what made him do it.

Perhaps it was the fact that he was dying, but he needed to have his father love him once more. He needed to see the anger banked.

“Go to his room, then” Azure said “It’s the Rose Room. Hurry before I change my mind”

Thor grit his jaw, wanting to punch him in the face for that. But he said nothing.

He had set Laufey free and tonight, Loki would be gone, too.

So would Halvor, Thor assumed.

And he would be alone.

Perhaps, if he was strong enough, he could put a noose around his neck and finally end his torment.

***

The ball was disgusting to Thor. The lavishness, the music, the food, the drink…the company.

Everything was overwhelming, everything was too much. His eyes watched the different bodies laughing, eating, hanging on each other in a drunken stupor and his face turned into a snarl.

It was like he had stepped into Hel itself.

His own hand held a keg of mead as he sat beside Azure and his lover – the young boy named Loptr. Thor had met him in the palace once, he had gotten his position terminated because he had been afraid of liking what he looked like.

Thor remembered him but Loptr did not. Either that or he was pretending nothing happened and enjoyed the luxuries brought to him be selling himself to a high bidder.

Thor doubted there was any lover between them, Azure and Loptr were both too driven for power to truly value what love was.

But then, Thor didn’t know either, the monster he was, he didn’t know what love was, either. He had once, but it was driven from him by his father’s cruel hand. There was nothing but hate, fear and rage inside him.

He remembered nights where he was bound in his cell, deep and dark, damp and secluded. He remembered screaming so hard he swore he tasted blood. He remembered trying to break his chains, he remembered almost doing it. He remembered how it felt, being dark, alone, bare, cold and with no indication of who he was.

There were days he had forgotten his own name when he was in his cell, so forgetting something like love was understandable.

He knew pain and suffering and that is what he dealt out. Pain, suffering and betrayal to the one person that had taken his broken heart.

This time, however, in the six years he spent away from Loki, he hardened his heart, he made it strong and powerful. He made it Thor – the Spare Son – the Jotun Slayer – the monster of Jotunhiem.

The nine realms had once feared Jotunhiem now the Jotuns feared him.

Not the ones dancing, prancing and doing all sorts of dirty acts before him – no, they were not true Jotuns, they were nothing.

They were but words. Ready to be silenced with a stronger voice.

Their mayfly lives did not matter, but the indignity on Thor insisted that they did matter, that their lives were important enough that Odin lower him further and bring him to their level so he would have to wait on them.

Such was the indignity the All Father thrust upon him.

Thor rolled his eyes and looked at his keg before he sipped it, watching them dance to the music.

“Dance with me”

Thor blinked and it took him a second to realize that it was him who was being addressed. He turned to look, not able to keep the disbelief off his face when he saw Azure all but glowing beside him.

“Pardon me?” Thor asked, hiding behind confusion as the rat stared at him

Azure chuckled, brushing his hair back in a gracefully practiced manner “I said dance with me. It cannot be worse than glaring a hole into the dance floor”

Thor had absolutely no intention of dancing with this thing. The mere thought has his body shuddering in revulsion and Thor bowed his head.

“With all due respect, I must decline” he said “I am content with drinking and observation”

Azure hummed and then, to Thor’s utter dislike stood and took his hand. Thor wanted to yank it back but he was forced to take him on his offer and only hope that the musicians play a short song.

“I insist” Azure said uselessly, pulling Thor to his feet “It will do that sour mood of yours good”

Loptr watched from his place at the large tables, but said nothing, going back to observing whatever he saw before him. He had barely spoken to Thor, giving him a smile, a greeting then nothing else. He always seemed to be preoccupied in his own thoughts, speaking only to Azure and even that in soft words.

A jolt made him look back and he saw that Azure has instructed everyone to let him and his future King dance.

Thor inwardly cringed at his choice of words u tent along anyway, placing one hand at the small of his back, clenching it into a fist while the other was raised to his side, holding Azure’s.

It was a simple dance, nothing too important but Azure ordered the lights to be dimmed and Thor wanted to punch him.

Norns above, he hated this creep.

And Azure smiled at him as both of them danced, And Azure smiled at him as both of them danced, their movements in synch with one another but their intentions were different. Thor was doing this to appease the weasel and Azure was intent on showing the Spare Son his place. The man had been acting as though he was not here for information he desperately needed. He acted like he was better than Azure.

Maybe it was because Thor was a prince, maybe not, but the fact was that Azure was hyper aware of the fact that this man hated him.

He wasn’t offended, no, he had a plan and the moment he saw his chance, he would implement it. Thor thought himself above him? Azure was going to make sure Thor saw himself as someone lower than even Azure and this dance was only the beginning of it.

Azure might not be as strong or as powerful as others but he had drive and he was going to use this drive to make sure that this false son of Odin would suffer more than he already was.

But for now, he smiled, beamed and danced, making sure every jotun in the hall was watching them. Loptr knew what he was doing and sipped his water, giving Azure a slight nod in encouragement and on cue, Azure quickly stepped closer, watching Thor blink and get himself together as they were suddenly pressed chest to chest, looking into his bright eyes because the rat was right before him.

“You know” Azure said, his hands holding Thor in place by the waist “I could give you anything you want if you asked me nicely enough”

Thor stared at him, watching as Azure’s eyes deliberately lowered down to where they were pressed together.

“Anything” he whispered.

He was let go and suddenly, Thor felt dirty, he felt used and he wanted to bathe, to scratch the places Azure had touched.

The little monster!

He could see him turning and walking away and he could see a few jotuns snickering.

It felt like he was violated but he could say nothing.

Not now at least, Azure must know that the moment he got what he wanted, Thor was going to be free of any sort of burden that kept him down.

His eyes went to Loptr, who was smiling at Azure as the man came to sit, pet his head as though he were an expensive pet.

And it was then that it hit him.

This entire ploy was not Azure’s doing. The demands for a place in the palace, a wedding, these were all Loptr’s ideas. The silent presence that had been behind Azure, beside him, he was the one who was controlling this rat.

He saw them both talking to one another and realized that if he was to stay and play along with their games, he was going to have to be a little cleverer than he had been previously.

He was going to have to think like them and take the information from them, not give them a choice.

Then, then he would have them taste their own blood as he hammered their heads in.

***

Loki was in his element tonight.

His dramatic element

Halvor sat, watching his theatrics as his King, the King of Jotunhiem, limped and hissed, holding his arm as he walked about, pretending to be hurt,

Pretending, Halvor was sure because Loki had changed his ‘hurt’ arm from left to right.

He was looking for attention and wanted Halvor to care for him without actually asking.

And if the truth was told, Halvor was tempted to see how many more injuries he could conjure up before he actually asked him.

Yet, when Loki passed him and groaned, Halvor looked up from where he was setting the table for their meal.

“Anything wrong, my lord?”

Loki looked at him, as though surprised “Hmm?”

Halvor wanted to laugh but he nodded to Loki “You look terrible, why don’t you lay down for a while? Rest up before dinner, I will give it to you in bed”

“Oh, no it’s …” Loki began

“I insist” Halvor said

Loki nodded and limped – on the wrong foot, Halvor rolled his eyes – and got into bed.

Halvor knew what was going on. Loki would never admit it but he was a little jealous that Halvor cared for Thor so much. It was something he had seen when their marriage was perfect. Thor would get sick and though Loki worried and fussed, he would miraculously feel horrible when Halvor took care of Thor.

It was childish but Halvor adored it, despite knowing what it truly was.

When Loki was in bed, Halvor came over and fixed his pillows, set a cushion beneath his foot and pulled the furs over him.

“Better?” Halvor asked

“Yes, thank you”

Halvor smiled and turned to go, trying not to roll his eyes at how absolutely dramatic his King was.

He went about his business, fussing over Loki every now and then, taking the tray of food that came over for them and setting a table for himself before bringing the tray to his poor, damaged leader.

He Set water next to him, with a little wine before he dragged a chair over so he could sit beside him, his own plate loaded with food.

“You need to gain your energy if we are to escape” Halvor said “this place is relatively unguarded, we can find a way to leave without anyone finding out”

Loki looked at him and nodded slowly, but his mind was elsewhere.

Halvor could see him forming some sort of plan and he moved his food around in his plate before Loki spoke.

“If what he said was true then Odin is after me” Loki said “As tempted as I am to leave, I need to know what that plan is.”

That, Halvor didn’t expect and he frowned “What?”

Loki looked at him “If you find a way to escape then you have to. I have a plan”

“I can see that” Halvor said “But I need to know what that plan involves”

There was silence from Loki for a long time before the man looked up at Halvor and spoke.

“It involves you going back to the safe houses” Loki told him “and taking care of my son. I will stay here, with Thor and go to the rebel’s hide away. I will join them in their battle to take Jotunhiem back. But I will first need to disarm Thor, learn his father’s plan and then counter it. I will not have a repeat of this last war. I will not lose this time”

Halvor feared as much and he sighed “Loki, another war will devastate Jotunhiem”

“Not unless you tell my brother to prepare for it” he said “tell them to rally as many as we can and we will attack the Aesir camp. They couldn’t possibly take us all on – during the distraction, I will sneak in to kill Odin.”

Halvor watched him, knowing he was saying this out of hurt, anger and the fact that he has been so deeply betrayed. But the plan was risky, far too much. And he couldn’t stand the thought of losing any more of his people, his realm.

“My lord” he said softly “We have just suffered through a war. Do not make the same mistakes Thor has. Try and find a way that does not end in death”

Loki smiled sadly “I tried… it didn’t work. I begged him not to go, not to do this but it didn’t happen. There will be no negotiations until Odin is dead. Whatever his plan is, it will not be good. This is the only way”

He wasn’t about to be swayed, not right now, so Halvor changed the subject.

“Your little boy…” he said, looking at him “what … when was he born?”

Loki looked at him, the same sad smile on his face.

“Three months ago”

Halvor blinked “Three months…”

He frowned “Were you not fighting throughout the war?”

Halvor felt his heart break into a thousand pieces when Loki nodded

“I cast an illusion upon myself so no one would know” he said “I told only my uncle and Helblindi but no one else. I was fighting with Thor when I felt my labor break upon me, which was when I fled.”

A gasp left Halvor’s lips as he thought of it.

If he remembered correctly, he heard Thor had chased after him to beat him down. He had pulled Loki down by the arm and made him fall.

According to Fandral, Loki had screamed in terror before Thor was attacked by Helblindi.

Then Thor had not seen Loki until he came into his tent that fateful night.

“You were pregnant when you fought” Halvor whispered “When we – we attacked”

“They” Loki said “Not you. You are not one of them.”

“I took their side”

“You took care of their prince, on my order” Loki said “You are not to blame. And yes…”

Loki looked at his food

“I was pregnant when we fought”

“H-How… I mean…”

“Heron helped me” Loki said “It was hard, given that the healers were busy taking care of the wounded. I had Heron and two others. They helped me birth him”

Halvor looked at him sadly and Loki shrugged “It was what was expected in times of war. There is little that could be done about it”

“It makes it no less traumatic” Halvor said

There was silence for a while before Halvor spoke again

“What’s his name?”

Loki smiled once more, genuinely this time.

“Ari” he said “It means freedom. I thought our people could use some hope”

Halvor smiled “That is a beautiful name. I will be honored to care for him”

Loki grinned “He is three months old but already such a warrior. He laughs and plays as much as he frustrates me…”

His eyes filled with tears then.

“He is just like Thor” he whispered

“Oh, my lord”

Halvor moved forward, taking Loki’s tray and setting it aside before he sat by him, holding him close. He rocked him, just a little when he felt Loki’s arms come around him.

“This will be over soon, it will all be over”

“Why did it have to start in the first place?” Loki whispered “When I asked him a thousand times what was wrong? Why did he do this?”

Halvor cradled Loki’s head and felt his own eyes grow damp.

“I do not know” he said “I do know that it will pass. This will not last too long, it will be over.”

Loki sniffled and held him tightly, just for a second longer.

He would have taken more comfort but the door to the servant’s hall opened and a loud gasp filled the room.

“Loki!?”

For a moment Loki thought it was not possible, that he was in so much pain that he imagined it.

But then Halvor gasped loudly and shot to his feet, skin paper white.

Loki followed his gaze and froze.

Laufey stood there, his blue eyes wide in shock, his body still in shock.

“Loki!”

Loki was out of the bed, running to him before Halvor could comprehend

“Father!”

Both father and son met each other, Laufey’s arms going around his son, his hand holding the back of Loki’s head as they embraced each other.

“Oh by the Ymir, I didn’t think I would ever see you again” Laufey whispered, his eyes filled with tears “I never thought I would see my sons again!”

Loki held him just as tightly, his body shaking “You are alive… you are alive, you are here and you are alive!”

Laufey kissed his son’s head and rubbed his back “My boy, my Loki, I ….”

His voice closed up and he said nothing else.

Halvor discreetly wiped his eyes and Laufey looked at him, smiling

“And this little one” Laufey beamed “You have grown so much, come here”

Halvor walked over and took Laufey’s blessing, then the embrace he gave.

“Last I saw you, you could barely reach my shoulder, now look at you” Laufey smiled “A young man”

Halvor smiled and brushed his hair back “Tends to happen, my King’

Loki smacked his arm but he was smiling.

He looked at Laufey “You were here? All this time?”

“For a long time, aye” Laufey said “That one – Loptr, he brought me here after I was caught in a trap. He delights in seeing me serve him, I cannot wait to slit his throat”

“Loptr?” Halvor frowned “The servant”

“Aye” Laufey said “He lives with Azure, the Viceroy. He plays the part of his lover but I know there is something else going on in his mind. I fear he is in league with Odin. The way he rose to power so soon after we were attacked is suspicious.”

“And you think Odin is behind it?” Loki asked

“I know Odin is behind it” Laufey said “we just need to find out what his plan is”

Loki and Halvor shared a look and Laufey raised a brow

“What?” he asked

“Sit down, Father” Loki said, leading him to the bed “I fear there is a lot you need to take in”

“I do not doubt it, but …” he said “How – How is Thrym? And Helblindi and Heron?”

Loki smiled, even in the direst of situations, Laufey could be trusted to think of the man he loved.

“Thyrm and his son live in the safe houses” he said “Jarnsaxa is long gone, either killed or gone rogue, I care not. The man was a monster”

“He was” Laufey hissed “He was saved by my hands because of the war, nothing else”

“Aye” Loki said

Halvor looked between them, trying to understand why they hated Thrym’s husband. But from their faces he could sum a little of it up.

“Now” Loki said “My plan”

“Oh dear…” Laufey said

Halvor smiled and went to get them more dinner. He had a feeling that Loki would eat and feel better than he had a moment ago.

And, if the Norns were kind, Laufey’s presence would fix their dilemma.


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Exit
> 
> (Chased by bear)

“Now” Loki said “My plan”

“Oh dear…” Laufey said

Halvor smiled and went to get them more dinner. He had a feeling that Loki would eat and feel better than he had a moment ago.

Loki watched him go before he turned to his father, a smile on his lips.

“It’s good to have him back, aye?”

“Yes” Laufey said “I have been away a year and he already looks like it’s been forever”

“Must be the Asgardian diet he had” Loki chuckled “I feel old, looking at him”

Laufey sniggered before he looked at Loki and sighed “Son … I met him. Just now, I saw him”

Loki knew exactly who he was talking about and he frowned just a little.

“He’s changed completely, hasn’t he?” he asked softly “Not at all the boy I wed”

Laufey shook his head and when Loki looked aside he slowly made him look back, his eyes focused on his face.

“He did this?” Laufey asked softly, rubbing his thumb gently over the bruise on Loki’s eye “He hit you?”

Loki shrugged “One of the many things he has done, aye.”

“Yet you still love him” Laufey said

Loki blinked at him, frowning “Pardon? You think after all that has happened, I would still love someone like him?”

“Of course”

His mouth hanging open, just a little, Loki chuckled “You have gone senile”

“Have I?”

Laufey reached over and gently tugged at the chain around Loki’s neck. It was thin and silver, hidden in his clothes.

Loki looked down and felt himself go still when Laufey pulled at it to reveal two beautiful wedding rings.

His and Thor’s.

Right there, before his eyes.

“If you do not love him then what are these?” Laufey asked, smiling indulgently at Loki.

Loki did not have an answer and Laufey did not ask for it – not a verbal one, at least. He could see it in Loki’s eyes, the truth.

The man was still in love with Thor.

Loki pulled the chain from his grasp and Laufey let him, opting to lay back against the pillows so Loki could compose himself. He was shockingly quick at it.

“How is Thrym?” Laufey asked “And his baby?”

“Very well, thank the norns, I told you” Loki said

“No” Laufey said, looking right at him “ _How_ are they?”

Loki’s lips tightened a little and he sighed “Thrym is … as well as you would think he would be. After all he went through with Jarnsaxa, we can hardly expect him to be well”

“Had he only told us…” Laufey growled “One word and I would have killed that monster right there”

“I think he knew that” Loki said “Which is why he never asked you anything”

“I do not understand that man” Laufey said “He is infuriating, thinking and assuming for others and acting like he knows best”

Loki felt his lips curve a little and looked away, slipping out of his shoes before he sat cross legged on the bed, leaning against the bedpost.

“That is why you love him so much” Loki said “Because he is infuriating, thinking and assuming for others and acting like he knows best”

Laufey raised an eyebrow at him “Your interest in my love life is slightly disturbing, if I am honest”

Loki sniggered and shook his head, “Well, at least someone is interested there”

Laufey inclined his jaw and gave his son a dry glare “You are too cheeky for your own good”

“And you pretend to hate it all you want, but you adore me, still”

Laufey rolled his eyes “Ah, the burden”

Loki beamed at him and looked at his hands, playing with the bracers a little. He could sense Laufey look at them and felt him tense before he exhaled.

“He did that, too?”

“Yes” Loki whispered “He fought me and put these on me matter how hard I fought. Which is another factor in my plan, if you would listen”

Laufey pulled a pillow behind his head and nodded “Go on”

“Try not to interrupt, your concern is cherished but somewhat annoying” Loki mocked

Laufey smirked and nodded at him, telling him to start talking.

“Odin wants me for something” Loki told him bluntly, looking into his eyes “His sons were sent to bring me to him and I have no doubt that if he does gets his hands on me, you will never see me again”

Laufey’s lips tightened and his rage was clear but he said nothing.

“Though I hate it” Loki said, playing with his hands and watching the way his fingers nudged one another “I find the safest place I am is with Thor”

Laufey opened his mouth to object but Loki raised a hand.

“No, listen” he said “I have a plan, I will not let him hurt me again, I swear he did it for a … well…”

Laufey frowned as Loki sat straighter, seemingly about to tell him something important.

“See, there is a complication” he said, looking right at Laufey “When … I mean, before the war started, I discovered something and you might not like it”

Laufey narrowed his eyes “What have you been hiding?”

“It’s not a ‘what’ so much as it is a ‘who’” Loki said, green eyes looking at his father’s frown and sighing “I have a son”

“What?!”

“And he’s Thor’s”

“ _What_?!” Laufey boomed, sitting up “You stupid, idiotic boy, I gave you protection for a reason! What use is it if you never…”

Loki resigned himself to a lengthy bout of yelling and sat there, sighing and nodding as Laufey went on about a hundred things at once.

Outside, by the door, Halvor was chuckling and decided to wait a few moments before he walked in with dinner and let both father and catch up on their yelling and other things.

***

Azure was beaming and came to sit by Loptr, who barely acknowledged him, so intent was he when he stared at Thor.

“He seems to look frazzled” Azure cooed, keeping his back straight “What do you think of …”

“He is hiding something from us” Loptr said “Something important. We have to find out what it is”

Azure looked at him and gave him a sullen look “You think me unwise, love?”

Loptr hissed, a displeased curve of his thin lips, not looking away from Thor.

“I told you not to call me that”

Azure chuckled “And I have told you it’s endearing. Pretend it means something to you”

Loptr finally turned from Thor to Azure, watching him sulk and pretend not to. His dark eyes were focused on Thor and Loptr raised an eyebrow, a smirk settling on his lips.

“You want him”

Azure looked at him, his movement liquid. He smirked and tossed his hair back, head held up.

“So? Does it bother you?”

“It bothers me to a great degree, yes” Loptr said “We are to be wed, you and I. Have you no shame?”

“If I had any, you wouldn’t like half the things I do to you”

Loptr blinked and a blush heated his cheeks. Azure bit his lip and raised his brows in silent askance.

“My room” Loptr whispered, getting to his feet “Try to see if that oaf joins us … it might be fun”

His arms were shining with bangles Azure had gifted him and he cupped his cheek, stroking it till he left, his hips swaying with the promise of an unforgettable night.

Azure took a deep inhale and looked at Thor, watching the man make his way to the dais. He could see he was intent on leaving and played with the idea of making him stop and go with them.

Thor approached and he let him pass this time.

A blizzard was soon to come, Thor was going to stay for three days, Azure could afford to wait.

He did turn his head and watch him leave though, watched his hands, his shoulders and bit his lip, moaning softly at the thought of controlling them.

Later, he swore, later.

Standing, Azure picked up his wine glass and let the feast go on as he walked to where Loptr went, eager for a night of pleasure.

Thor, on the other hand, huffed as he went down the halls, to the dreaded chambers he was to go to.

His body was taut, his mind was ablaze, he could feel something writhing within the confines of his skull, just begging to get out. He wanted to burn himself, take a dagger and hack himself to death.

That rat had left his marks inside his skin and Thor hated it! He hated feeling this dirty, like he was meant to be used, touched against his will, forced to …

He halted, his eyes going wide as he just stopped, in the middle of the hallway.

And he understood what Tyr had said.

He understood then, right there, what he had prevented Thor from doing. His mouth parted a little as he remembered that he had held Loki down, touched him against his will.

Was this how Loki had felt? Was this feeling the same in him?

It made him sick and he started to walk faster, his boots thumping in the hallway as he went to his chambers.

He wondered what he would do if Loki was there, he wondered what he could say.

Nothing Loki would believe, nothing he could say could ever make Loki believe him again, nothing.

But he felt a need to say something, he didn’t even know what, but he had to before Loki left.

And he knew he would Laufey would not let Loki stay here.

His steps were loud in the empty hallway and he found himself wishing he was here, that Loki was still here.

It was only when he reached his doors and opened them that he realized he didn’t know why he wanted Loki to stay, what he would say and how he would deal with the fact that Laufey was standing there, in the middle of the room, a bag of supplies in his hands. Halvor was in the very corner, putting more things in the bag and Loki, the very one Thor had wished was there, was by the window, writing something down.

All of them stopped when Thor entered and the man felt hunted, he felt alone and suddenly, he was very aware of how hard his heart was beating. His mind went numb and blank and he could only stare, lost as to what to do.

It was like there was nothing before him to think or do or breathe or …

“Ah there he is”

Thor looked at Laufey, his face vulnerable as he saw the man he once called father leer at him openly. His tone was hostile, his eyes filled with anger and Thor wanted to leave, he wanted to go away.

But he knew he would never do what was good for him and stepped into the room.

Loki’s eyebrows raised and despite himself, he felt impressed at Thor’s courage.

“What are you trying to do?” Laufey continued, watching him close the door and walk in “What are you trying to prove?”

“Father” Loki said softly

Laufey ignored his son so he could fully look at Thor “You think looking at the floor is going to help you? You think not meeting our eyes after what you have done will atone for your crimes, you bastard?”

Halvor was shocked, watching as Thor went to his trunk, not saying a word.

But his face…

Thor looked like he was on the brink of tears, he looked just like the boy who had been brought to Loki so damn long ago. How many years had it been?

Twelve

Six years he spent in bliss with Loki before he was blinded and possessed then for six years he vanished, gone without a trace. No letters, nothing.

He came back, a man on a mission and destroyed Jotunhiem and now …

Now he was being destroyed by the king of the realm he once loved.

Well, former King, but Laufey was no less intimidating than when he did rule.

With his words he was taking Thor down better than any of them ever could.

And though they yearned for it, though they thought it was going to be the best thing they would ever see, both Loki and Halvor felt their throats go dry when a single tear slipped down Thor’s too bright eyes.

“You are nothing” Laufey went on “Nothing but a boy, trying to prove himself a man, Thor. You hear that. Even your father left you, your husband left you. There is war, ruin and death wherever you go, what are you trying to prove by standing before the very men you wronged? What do you think will happen even if you know the location of your child?”

Thor gasped softly and turned to look at Laufey and the man smiled

“He will never love you” Laufey said “Just like us, he will end up hating you”

“Father, enough!”

It was Loki who spoke and Laufey looked at him shocked. Loki’s eyes were wide, he was stunned at what Laufey had said.

In that moment, Thor pulled what he wanted to from his trunk and fled. He fled like a child, running from his greatest fear and they all watched as the door to the bathing room snapped shut behind him.

His cape was caught in it, he was likely forced to choke and rear back and it killed Halvor, knowing that.

“Coward!” Laufey called after him, unable to resist

Loki’s jaw was clenched and he prevented himself from saying anything to his father. As harsh as it might have been, Laufey was within his rights to vent.

They had been packing for Laufey and Halvor’s trip when Thor came. Loki had managed to convince his father to go to the safe houses and prepare them for battle, send out word in secret and gather another army.

Halvor was to take care of Ari.

Loki trusted no one else with the task. He knew Halvor would care for his son like he cared for Thor. He knew he could trust his life with him.

Laufey looked at his son, his anger still lingering “I do not like the thought of you being alone with him”

“I know” Loki said softly “But there is nowhere else I would be safe, you know this.”

“It still does not make me easy” Laufey said, going to hand Halvor his last bag

“This is war” Loki said, tying up the letter he was writing “Nothing is easy”

He brought the letter to his father and held it out.

“Give this to Helblindi, alright?” he said “I don’t want you to read it or open it, this is just for him”

Laufey narrowed his eyes “What is in it?”

“Insults and plans about destroying you, Father” Loki said, placing it in his father’s hand “Now go”

Laufey smiled, just a little, before he pocketed the letter and gently pulled Loki into his arms. They went around his son as he embraced him tightly, kissing his temple.

“I want you back home as soon as you can, you hear me?” Laufey said “Swear you will come back after all this is over, please”

Loki nodded and gave him a reassuring squeeze “I will”

They didn’t want to part, that much was clear. Halvor busied himself with tying the bags together to give them privacy and the door to the bathroom stayed closed. The cape was still there, neither moving nor being pulled in.

Halvor imagined Thor listening to Laufey be kind to Loki, showing him love. While he himself stayed locked inside and afraid, waiting for them to go before he came out.

He had spent the last six years with Thor alone, watching what had happened to him at Odin’s hand.

Had he more time, he would have told Loki everything but he knew Thor would not have liked it. He would have considered it a betrayal.

And Thor needed someone who was on his side through bad decisions and good. He needed it.

Laufey stepped back and Loki looked at him, closing his eyes when his father kissed his forehead.

“You will keep writing to me, understand?” Laufey said “I want to know you are fine”

“You know I will be, old man” Loki said “Now go, you have four grandchildren to spoil”

Laufey smiled, gave Loki one last embrace before he turned to the servant’s entrance. He knew Loptr would likely be watching his exit, so he was going to hide Halvor till they were out of sight.

“Ready to become a part of the luggage, eh?”

Halvor groaned, not liking this part. He huffed and complained about how he was going to be stuffed into a sack but went with Laufey nonetheless. Azure had freed him, Laufey would do as he pleased.

Loki stood in the middle of the room as he watched the door close after them, then went to his window. He would watch until they passed the horizon. He would pray for them to make it safely through the mountains before the blizzard hit.

And unbeknownst to him, in the bathroom, standing there as long as he was, Thor prayed and watched his father leave with the only friend he had in this place.

He thought he deserved it, even though the pain passing all over him was crippling, he deserved to be alone and die in his own misery.

Neither of them truly realized that now, as Laufey left, they were actually alone with each other since before the war began.

***

The door opening made Loki look up. He was seated at the desk in this room, going through a few scrolls he found lying around. They were nothing useful, just a translation of Jotun to elvish words, but it was better than standing and watching the landscape outside, hoping that his father and Halvor made it to the caverns that Laufey wanted to use as shelter. Loki knew those caves, they were safe and warm; the perfect place to hide when the blizzards hit. He knew many families had made trips there, both to watch the blizzard and stay safe.

He knew Laufey would write back to him.

He just had to wait … and try to make the rest of the trip without killing Thor.

Thor, who stood with his used clothes in his hands, watching Loki in turn. He could see the anger and hurt behind those green eyes but made no comment. He simply walked to his trunk and placed his clothes in it.

It was scented – a gift from Azure as a way for him not to carry a bag around. It was _uncivilized_.

Gods, Thor wanted to punch that man’s face in.

He snapped the trunk lid shut and gave it a good kick, making it slide across the floor and hit the wall with a loud smack.

Loki raised an eyebrow at him, from where he sat in the far side of the room, but made no comment about his show as he went back to his reading.

“It must have pleased you so”

Loki, startled by the rumbling voice, looked at Thor as his husband spoke without facing him. His back looked taut, his hands were clenched.

“Seeing your father say those things to me”

Loki looked right at him, his face devoid of emotion “Immensely. I liked watching you be ripped apart”

Thor growled softly but there was no other reaction from him.

“If you are here to witness my pain, then you will be disappointed” he said “I refuse to be hurt”

“Says the boy who hid in the bathroom for the past hour”

“I am not…” Thor spun to face him, an angry snarl escaping his lips “A boy, I am a man, a warrior!”

“You are a traitor, nothing more” Loki told him, his face stern “You are unworthy, of everyone. Of the loved ones you have betrayed and of the victory you forced us to give you”

“Those loved ones betrayed me first, you know that, Loki” Thor said “When I needed them the most they…”

“We did nothing but help you” Loki countered, getting to his feet “It was you, who betrayed us, you who left us behind you like we didn’t matter! Do you remember none of that?”

“I remember a shadow” Thor hissed, his eyes shining “Living in the shade of the famous Loki and his greatness”

Loki frowned, shocked

“I remember you, coming to kill me with that spell when I was possessed and blind!”

“I did not such thing and you know it” Loki rasped “What happened was unfortunate, there was no explaining …”

“Well, I want an explanation!” Thor roared

Thunder clapped outside and Loki glared at Thor, his eyes wide

“I want to know!” Thor said “I want to know why I lay there, dying and screaming and why I was not saved! Why did you not help me when my blood painted the walls, why!?”

“I tried my best, I did whatever…”

“It wasn’t enough!” Thor yelled “You should have tried harder, you should have fought harder for me!”

His voice echoed in the room after as he glared at Loki.

“But you didn’t and look what happened!” Thor said “Look where we are, look what has happened to Jotunhiem! You should have tried harder and prevented this!”

“This is not on me” Loki told him “None of this is on me, this is your doing. You waged war on us, you killed my people, you destroyed my home! I begged you to reconsider, I begged you to come back but you didn’t! You went ahead and threw the chance I gave you away so don’t you dare try to pin this on me, you snake”

Thor was breathing heavily, looking at him, his jaw grit in an effort to stop his pain.

“This is all on you” Loki told him.

He was standing now, poised like a viper, ready to strike yet he didn’t remember when he stood. All he remembered was rage and anger, betrayal and hurt, pain and agony.

Thor watched him, studied him before he straightened.

Loki could see the pawn before him now, Odin’s son, not Thor.

“Where have you kept my son?” Thor asked softly

“He is safe, wherever he is” Loki told him “Away from all this. I wanted to make sure he is away from this side of you”

A muscle twitched in Thor’s jaw and he turned away, looking around, as though seeking refuge.

“Will you tell me his name at least?” Thor asked “You will deny me the name and knowledge of my own son?”

“Yes” Loki said “because you will take him from me”

Thor turned back, absolutely devastated. He couldn’t hide it this time, he couldn’t put on a mask and Loki saw it.

Loki saw his lips move, saw him try to come up with something to say but no sound came from his lips. It was like Loki had broken something inside him again.

And then, for the first time this this disaster began, Loki felt a twinge of pain when he saw Thor’s eyes fill with tears.

How many times had he vowed not to see them there anymore? How many times had Thor been hurt by men older and more powerful than him? How many times had he wanted mercy but didn’t know how to ask?

How many times?

Uncountable.

Now Loki was one of those men, looking at the broken body of the boy he swore to protect, hurting him more, punishing him for his mistakes.

He saw the pain in his eyes, he saw the grief, the loss and the sheer torment, all of them driving him.

Loki swallowed thickly and looked away from it, unable to stand it.

And Thor lived with it every day.

Every single day.

The blonde blinked a few times before he too looked away, turned away and looked at the window. He would jump and crush himself on the hard ground below yet the pain would still be less than what he experienced. He lived with it, he drowned it in daily.

And he was going to die in it.

He felt sick, he felt his stomach burn with the need to retch, he felt his soul he stretched and ripped apart like tendons did when animals fed on them.

And to him, right this moment, all of them were animals.

“Ari”

Thor blinked and looked at Loki, frowning “What?”

Loki stood where he was, it seemed he hadn’t moved, but he looked less threatening.

“His name” Loki spoke, his voice soft “You son is called Ari”

Thor started to feel his heart pound in his chest and he swallowed “A-Ari?”

“Aye” Loki said softly “Born three months ago, nine pounds he weighed”

Thor felt something inside him.

And for a second he didn’t know what that feeling was, he hadn’t felt it in so damn long.

Joy

It was joy.

“Nine pounds” Thor whispered

“He has your eyes” Loki went on “Your hair… he looks just like you, down to the freckles you have on your nose”

Unconsciously, Thor reached up to touch his freckles, unaware that they were no longer there.

“He has your strength” he said “You lungs, for sure, he can cry a building down if he wants”

Thor made a sound then, another he hadn’t done in so long.

Laughter

He laughed, very softly.

“He loves the water” Loki smiled, imagining both of them in the bath as Loki bathed his kicking, laughing son “Imagines himself as a fish I am sure”

Thor swallowed thickly, trying to imagine it. His mind conjured a lot of agony before he could see something untainted.

Loki, his beautiful form in the water, holding his son up over the surface, both of them smiling. His baby boy would look at Loki, recognize him and love him.

“He hates most fruit” Loki’s voice broke into his thoughts “He made it clear even when I tried to sneak them into his mash”

Prickling started behind his eyes and Thor looked at the ground.

“He loves vegetables” Loki said “He loves …. Loves the scent of your cape.”

Thor looked at him sharply, not expecting this. What cape? What scent?

“You sent one to the tailor before the war, remember?” Loki asked “To fix. There was a tear in in it, some how you …”

“Caught it in the door” Thor spoke softly “to that room on the left. The one where I did all my sketching”

“Aye, that one” Loki said “We got it back. I find he sleeps better when he is wrapped in it”

Thor felt a painful lump in his throat, making it hard for him to breathe, he felt himself die.

He had never expected Loki to keep anything of his, but he not only kept it, he gave it to their son? His precious baby?

The feelings inside him were too much.

Far too much.

“Loki” Thor whispered “I …”

“You can take the bed” Loki cut in suddenly “the couch is big enough for me. I do not mind”

Thor was stumped for a moment, Loki could see him try and say something but he turned away.

“I will be awake for a while longer”

And Thor watched a door between them snap shut. A door, which had opened when Loki told him about Ari. It was closed now, gone before Thor really had a chance to see through it.

It was his fault, all of it, so he didn’t argue. He went to the bed and lay beneath the covers, trying to ignore how he felt like his heart was bleeding. The bed would be stained with it, he was almost sure.

Loki, for his part, slept out of sheer exhaustion when he did. He was tired, his body and mind ached.

So when, in the middle of the night, his once husband kissed his head, he didn’t even feel it. But he stopped fidgeting as he slept and turned peaceful for his rest.

***

The blizzard hit the next afternoon.

The skies had darkened significantly during the morning so it was inevitable and warning enough for the Jotuns living in Azure’s large estate. They all sheltered themselves, so did those that stayed in the large building.

Unfortunately, Thor was one of the people in the large building and had to spend time with Loptr and Azure again. They had insisted that he dine with them in their private chambers, where the room was warm and the food was hot. They had expressed concerns about him not eating the food they delivered to him last night, but he waved it aside.

He sooner taste a horse’s arse than anything they made him.

He couldn’t say that, of course, he could only think it.

Just as he could only think of how delicious Azure would be for be for the white Jotun bears that roamed the Jotun lands.

It made him chuckle, which was of course, noted by the two slippery ones that say by him. Loptr watched him, he didn’t inquire after him. Azure did.

He watched Thor all the time. He watched him, breathe, watched him talk, watched him when he walked, it was more than a little disturbing if Thor were honest. It was like he had a growth on his back, always with him, irritating and stupid.

He hated him, Thor genuinely hated him. He hated the way he moved, his false looks, everything. He was slimy and creepy and absolutely the first to go when Thor became king.

“What amuses you?” Azure asked, sipping his own wine

Thor had noted that the man had started having the wine Thor liked. It almost made him put his down and never touch it again.

“Just something I imagine doing when I am King” Thor replied, “Nothing too significant”

Azure smiled at getting more than three words out of Thor and Loptr rolled his eyes.

“Well, since we seem to be stuck in a blizzard, how about some entertainment?” Azure said “We can’t leave this room, perhaps we can make our quarantine fun?”

“How?” Lotpr asked, clearly bored

“We can play a board game or cards” Azure said “Have dares given to the person who loses. What do you think?”

Thor made a face “What kind of game?”

“Well, we have chess and …”

“Hnefatafl” Thor said, leaning over just a little “Have you ever played it?”

Loptr frowned, looking at Thor “Aye, in Asgard. It was very popular, played by almost everyone”

“Exactly, are you up for it?” Thor asked

Azure looked between them, clearly hating the idea of not being able to understand the game and therefore, the connection Loptr and Thor had.

“Well, I have no idea how to play” he announced petulantly “Think of another”

Thor smirked and Loptr looked at his lover

“You can watch us play and enjoy your drinks, love” Loptr purred “Then if you get it, you can join in”

“Or I can bring a board and explain it to you?” Thor offered “It’s in my luggage”

“Yes, I would like that” Azure said “Let me clear up space”

Loptr hummed and Thor stood to go, going to get the damn board. If he was honest, he would rather stay there, with Loki, than with these creatures.

Even if Loki hated him, his presence was better.

Thor jogged to his taken room and slowed down, reaching forward to open the door.

He inhaled deeply and pushed the knob down, opening it.

Loki sat by the window and looked at him, blinking at the interruption in his reading. There was no fire in the room and the cold hit Thor like a wall.

He frowned “Why is there no fire here?”

He strode to the fireplace and Loki shrugged, but said nothing. He had his cloaks, he didn’t need anything else. He went back to his reading and let Thor be.

He could hear him move around, getting a fire ready before he started to dig through his stupid trunk. The board was there, small and sturdy, and the pieces were in another box. He counted them all before he turned to go, but stopped when he saw Loki by the window.

He longed to say something, anything, after last night, but Loki wasn’t even looking at him.

His heart still bleeding, Thor made his way out, closing the door behind him.

Loki raised his eyes to the closed door, then sighed and looked at his book.

It was Thor’s favourites; one of the few things he had taken when he left the palace behind. It reminded him of the little boy, not the warrior that stood before him now. Running his fingers down the page, he continued to read, his eyes roving the page as his mind wandered far.

Things were never going to get better between them.

Never.

***

Back in the camp, where the Aesir ruled the defrosted lands, where the soldiers that won the war still celebrated their victory over the monsters, sat Balder and Tyr.

Today, they had taken down the last of their battle machines, all of them slowly taken apart so they were easier to carry. They had been behemoths of metal, glass and wood. Those that had been felled in the war were thrown to the sea, or left to freeze in the Jotun snow.

The men were exhausted and they all slumbered, takin residence in various tents scattered across the land they occupied.

In the distance, the desecrated Jotun capital moved, ever so slowly, with those who remained in their homes.

The war was over, people were slowly getting back to what little they had left. The Aesir let them be, they had gotten what they wanted, there was no honour in hurting those who sought to salvage from their lands.

They had to get back to starting their lives, so best let them start, Tyr believed. Balder, too, ignored them, letting them take what they wanted, even if they sometimes entered the camp.

Fresh food was sent to the army on a daily basis now, the princes has given a silent order that their left overs be given to the Jotun people.

And those men, far be it for them to refuse food from the enemy.

They had families to feed.

The Aesir army, had their fill and tonight Fandral had hunted a huge Jotun boar. It was cooked to perfection under Volstagg’s care and served with a delicious stew, made by Hogun. The war was over and while they all waited for Thor to return, it was more of a camping trip now, where men and women shed the tension and hardships war took on them.

It was nice and gentle.

Even for the two princes, who sat in Tyr’s tent, eating their dinner. They had gotten the best part of the boar, courtesy Volstagg, though they offered to wait. But being princes had its advantages so they dined on the very best, talking to each other.

It was nice and domestic.

Tyr had not been this friendly with Balder in a very long time.

He missed it terribly.

“Can we talk about anything other than the war?” Tyr suddenly said, taking a sip of his wine “I find it boring after a while”

Balder chuckled “Don’t let your men hear that, they deem you a warrior”

“Aye” Tyr said dryly “And as a warrior, I am to talk only about blood and gore and sparring and battles, is that it?”

“And spears and lances and swords and arrows…” Balder added

Tyr felt his lips curve into a smirk “You look innocent, but you are a cheeky one, you know that?”

Balder gave him a look clearly meant to make him look superior. It didn’t, really, the man was too humble and he ended up looking like someone who smelled something bad.

Tyr snickered and rolled his eyes, cutting another piece of his boar and having it.

“This is amazing” he said “I do not think I have had better”

“Really?” Balder said “You said that on Alfhiem, remember?”

“Yes, but I was not refering to the food, if you remember, dear Balder” Tyr said “Their princess, Elena was…”

“Do not finish that sentence!” Balder yelped, his face turning red “I do not wish to think about it”

“Says the man who showed me his privates when I walked into his tent” Tyr shot back

“I never let you in and you were not leaving, you perverted boar!”

“It was not my fault!” Tyr said, trying not to laugh “My feet weren’t moving”

“You stood there, gaping at me” Balder said “Have you any idea how hard Lady Sif was laughing?”

Tyr snorted “You still call her Lady? After how I saw you two?”

Balder gaped, his face turning red “You son of a…”

“Ah ah!” Tyr held up a finger “Watch that mouth. You think Sif likes being kissed by that?”

Balder just stared at him, lost. There was no defence in his mind at the moment, none.

Tyr laughed softly and sipped his drink, letting him come up with one if he could.

Eventually, Balder went back to eating and Tyr followed suit.

“How did you …”

“I don’t want to talk about this” Balder muttered

Tyr grinned “No, I will not pry much”

“Much?”

“I’m your brother, we are destined to pry” Tyr told him “But tell me how you finally ‘got her’ so to speak”

“There is no ‘getting’ of anything, really” Balder said, moving his food around “you will be disappointed”

“Try me”

Balder looked at him and sighed, the burden on his shoulders was immense right now. He set his fork down and looked at Tyr.

“Well” he said “It worked out for me better than I thought. After I spoke to you and Thor, I was thinking about how best to talk to her, when…”

He shrugged “She talked to me”

Tyr blinked “What? She made the first move?”

“Aye” Balder smiled “To be honest, it was a nice feeling. The pressure of taking the first step was becoming ridiculous so she just walked up and told me she knew how I felt about her. And that she felt the same”

Balder shrugged and his face slowly turned red. It made Tyr smile, not in a teasing way, but in a way that made him happy.

His brother was growing up.

“Now don’t you go around, spreading rumours about her, I will not have it!” Balder said, defending himself.

“I wouldn’t dream of it” Tyr said

There was warmth in his chest now, something he hadn’t felt in a long time and he lifted his drink to take a sip, listening Balder open up and list everything he loved about Sif.

Tyr listened carefully, making note in case Balder needed help in buying her a present and forgot what she liked. Tyr was sure that would happen, his brother was hopeless at times.

Balder kept talking and was telling him about how he saw the both of them together when they were interrupted.

The flap to Tyr’s tent parted a second after the armour of the guards stationed outside clanked as they went on alert. Both brothers turned to see Odin walk in, his back straight and tall, his staff in his hands.

They stood in respect and Tyr nodded

“Father” he said “I didn’t think you would be coming.”

“Oh, dear boy, I am never too busy to share a meal with my sons, am I?” Odin smiled, walking over

Balder went to fetch a chair and Tyr remained standing as Odin took Balder’s vacated seat.

He looked a little distracted, he looked slightly angry but Tyr didn’t know why. As he sat down, Balder called for a servant, who came to set a place for Odin and move Balder’s plates to the side, where he sat after.

“Volstagg’s legendary boar” Odin said, smiling “I have missed it, if I were honest”

Both Balder and Tyr glanced at one another for a second before they sat down.

There was something wrong, they could sense the waves of pressure release from their father and they said nothing, slowly picking at the last of their dinner.

“Is something the matter?”

Tyr looked up when Odin spoke, his single eye focused on him

“You look troubled” he observed

Tyr’s heart started to beat a little louder in his chest and Balder watched, confused. He felt a single trickle of worry go up his back but stayed silent, watching them both.

“No, Father, I am fine” Tyr said “Why wouldn’t I be?”

“You’re not eating, boy” Odin pointed out

Tyr looked at his food and cut a small piece, having it before Odin as though to prove he was fine. He could barely swallow it because his throat was closing up.

Odin watched him, he wasn’t even interested in the food, he came here on a mission. Both his sons were hiding something and when Tyr looked at him, he narrowed his eye.

“I think…” he whispered “you are hiding something from me, Tyr”

Balder felt himself go still and marvelled at how his elder brother could paint a look of confusion on his face.

“What?” he said “I am not hiding anything”

Odin raised a brow “Is that right?”

“Yes, Sir”

“Well” Odin said “I only ask because the tail I sent after you when you headed to the camp told me, you … never reached there. That you never even searched for Loki…”

Tyr’s expression faltered, just for a second and Odin growled “I knew it…”

Balder gasped as Odin shot to his feet

“You idiot! You helped him escape!”

Tyr watched, shocked as Odin lashed out, throwing everything to the ground, the younger prince jumping back to avoid being hit by anything.

“I had him in my camp and now I lost him, because of you!” Odin grabbed Tyr’s collar and shook him in his rage “How could you betray me!?”

Tyr was shocked speechless, he stared at him, unable to think, unable to move.

“You think you are doing Thor a favour!?” Odin shouted, yanking Tyr close, glaring into his eyes “You think he loves him, no! Thor is not capable of feeling love, he is a monster!”

Balder gasped, his eyes wide, a hand over his mouth as Odin threw Tyr back, the Crowned Prince hitting the back of his head hard against the chair he’d sat in.

“You have ruined everything, you spoiled brat!” Odin shouted at him “You have betrayed me, taken what I needed most and lied to me!”

Tyr was unable to move, staring at his father, frightened.

He was truly frightened.

Odin raised his staff then and Tyr’s eyes widened further when he pointed it at Balder.

“No!”

But it was too late. Tyr lunged, yes, but Odin had already fired.

Balder had tried taking a step back and that was all.

He was hit by a spell, freezing him where he was, his movement, the shock in his eyes, the terror on his face.

Tyr, who had fallen at Odin’s feet could only stare in horror as the stunning spell kept his brother in place.

“And that is how he will stay till you get Loki to me” Odin hissed “You understand?”

Tyr sat on his knees, shocked. Balder was stunned, locked in place because of the spell and Tyr looked at Odin

“What have you done?” he rasped

“Whatever was needed” Odin said “I have had enough disloyalty from my children! I have had enough disobedience! You had him here, trapped and within my grasp and you did this!?”

Tyr stared at him

His head was spinning, he felt something wet trickle down the back of his neck, his eyes throbbed, he couldn’t breathe.

“You will learn, all of you will learn and if you do not, then you will pay for it, you will pay for standing against me, just like her!”

Tyr went cold. His mind went to Sif, poor Sif!

If Odin did something to her, Tyr would never forgive himself, Balder would never forgive him!

In his mind, he tried to fathom a way to explain to Balder everything should anything have happened to Sif, but at the moment, he failed.

He completely failed.

Odin snarled at him “Get ready to leave by dawn. I want that Jotun brought here or you will face my wrath”

Tyr stuttered, he could do no more as his father, once the hero of all his dreams, turned and stormed away, leaving him cold and frightened in his wake.

***

“All pieces move horizontally or vertically over any number of empty squares, except the king, who can only move up to three squares. No piece can move diagonally, and no piece except the king can move onto or through the throne square.” Thor explained, his eyes on the pieces “Captures are done by flanking the opposition piece with two of your own - note that multiple captures are possible. However, you may safely move a piece between two enemy pieces. Once captured, a piece is removed from the board.”

Azure was listening raptly and Loptr was nowhere around. Apparently he was feeling a little under the weather and gone to his study to rest. He usually did that to keep Azure safe from his illness but Thor knew the man was likely with someone else.

He didn’t seem to be the loyal type.

“Do you understand?”

Azure nodded “Aye, yes. Keep going”

“The capture of the king is slightly different, in that he must be surrounded on all four sides by white pieces - or when his only escape is to the throne square. The king cannot assist in capturing opposition pieces.” Thor said

“Why not?” Azure asked

“Tis the rules of the game” Thor said

True the idea of playing with these two was sickening, but on his walk from his taken rooms to here, something had changed.

He had walked to hear yelling in their room, both Loptr and Azure fighting.

Loptr had accused Azure of trying to seduce Thor and though the idea of all three together was appealing, he did not want Azure to be alone with Thor.

It made Thor’s skin crawl but he listened to Azure’s defence, of his fantasy of having Thor, of how they were allowed to have an open relationship.

Thor felt sick, this was disgusting and he turned to go back, intending on pleading a headache from the cold.

But as he left, a plan formed in his head and once he heard Loptr slam the door and leave, it formed into a formidable plot.

As sick as it made him, Thor had done worse, so he turned back and headed to the room, fully intending on getting the information he wanted from Azure without having to work for it.

He gave the creep a few minutes before he walked in and frowned when he saw him taking a quick drink

“Loptr left?”

It never hurt to play on jealousy and Thor had almost laughed at the amount of resentment and jealousy he saw in Azure’s eyes.

“He knows how to play this” Thor had gestured to the board in his hands

“Well, I can learn” Azure had said, not nastily, but it was far from his simpering, sweet tone “He is unwell”

And that, eventually, led to where they were. Both of them sitting at the table, Azure’s beady eyes never leaving Thor’s as they set up their pieces.

Internally, Thor was thinking about thunder and rain, externally, he smiled at this thing… this weasel.

He watched him, as Azure started to set the pieces the way Thor had done earlier.

He did look like a weasel. A slimy wet weasel, one that fell into horse urine and bathed in dung on a regular basis.

Thor had to look away when he smiled, licking his lips and pretending he was not amused by his own thoughts.

They were funny, yes, but so inappropriate that…

The doors slammed open then and both Azure and Thor looked up.

Azure smiled in devilish glee and Thor shot to his feet, his face pale.

“Ah look what we found, hiding in Prince Thor’s room” Loptr sang.

Loki fought, growled and yelled behind a degrading muzzle placed on his jaw, his hair falling over his face. His arms were twisted behind his back as two Jotuns forced him into the room.

“What is the meaning of this!?” Thor demanded

“I could ask you the same” Loptr beamed “How is it you are hiding the King of Jotunhiem in our palace and never mentioned it to us?”

Loki groaned when Loptr grabbed his hair and forced his head back.

Azure giggled and clapped his hands in joy, skipping to his lover.

“Marvellously done, love, I am so proud” he went over

He kissed Loptr on the mouth and Thor felt his stomach sink in realization.

They had played him.

While he was forming his plan, these two had already implemented their own! It made him sick and he looked at Loki, who was glaring at the two men before him.

His heart was pounding in his chest and he glared.

The blizzard, which was ending, started again and his hands clenched.

“Release him” Thor snarled

Both Loptr and Azure turned to look at him, blinking at him innocently.

“Before I bring this ‘palace’ down on your heads” Thor growled “Let him go!”

Loki, even in the worst of situations, did not stop from giving him a dry, unimpressed look.

Thor glowered at him because, honestly, there was nothing wrong in his threat.

Azure laughed “And why, exactly would you do that? Rumours are circulating, your father wants this man brought to him. He’ll pay a hefty price, I imagine”

“The only thing you will do is pay if you don’t let him go” Thor said

He chanced a look at Loki who stared at him in disbelief.

Really, Thor? He seemed to say, now it _not_ the time to look into a theatrical performance.

Thor ignored him and took a step closer, both Loptr and Azure didn’t step back.

“This is my final warning” Thor said “Release him. I will consider mercy if you do”

“Mercy?” Loptr chuckled “From you? The very person who betrayed his family?”

He let Loki go and walked to Thor, much to Azure’s delight the man watched as though it was a dramatic play, one of his favourites.

In hindsight, to him it was probably just that.

Thor watched him come closer and glared into his eyes.

“You do not want to play this game” Thor hissed “Let him go. It will only ease your suffering. I can destroy you, this is me asking nicely. Let him go”

Loptr chuckled “I doubt you want to explain to your father why you couldn’t get the information you were sent to get. Or that, instead of doing as he asked, you ended up killing the Viceroy you were sent to please.”

Thor narrowed his eyes. He was getting angrier by the passing moment and his eyes seemed to reflect the lightning outside.

“I do not care what he thinks” Thor said “Let him go or I kill you”

Loptr beamed and came to stand right before Thor “Go on. Do it”

Thor grit his teeth and Loki watched, knowing Thor could not do it. He would never defy Odin.

Not this blatantly.

And it seemed he was right, when Thor’s shoulders relaxed and he unclenched his hands, turning away.

Loptr smiled, his face evil and Azure clapped his hands together.

“Excellent, now we…”

He broke off as a _huge_ explosion sounded, shaking the entire room. The wall behind Loki exploded, the Jotuns holding him turned in time to have Mjolnir crash through one of their skulls, downin him instantly.

The other one immediately let go and Loki fell to the floor, looking up in shock when he saw his husband.

Loptr and Azure were stunned as the hammer went into Thor waiting palm. He swung out without remorse and a loud cry escaped his lips as Loptr was hurled across the room, the hammer hitting his middle. He was sent flying, hitting the wall with a harsh crack before he slipped to the floor.

“No!” Azure screamed, running to him

The windows exploded with a powerful gust of wind and Loki crouched low, turning his head away to avoid being cut.

Azure screamed in agony, holding Loptr’s body, shaking him and Thor lifted his hammer high, high into the air above him.

The building started to shake, there were screams and shouts of those that lived in the palace, the reedy bastards who thought to live in Azure and Loptr’s rule.

The deafening boom sounded and the roof was lifted clean off their heads, the eye of a storm forming above them. It twirled, more and more, sucking the blizzard, combining the two forces into a force of nature and Loki felt himself be dragged across the floor, going to where everything else was being lifted.

A loud, shocked cry escaped his lips as he went higher into the skies, destined to go to the top where he would perish.

A thick hand suddenly wrapped around his wrist as Loki grew airborne and he turned, his clothes flapping in the wind, when he saw Thor pulling him down and against him.

Loki’s arms were behind his back, he could do nothing but hide his face in Thor’s neck as the storm grew ever stronger.

Lightning cracked up above and soared downwards, right into Mjolnir. It crackled over them, over Thor and Loki, yet the King felt nothing.

The ground began to shake, cracks formed in the expensive marble and it fell, all of it started to fall.

Loki heard a scream and saw Azur, hanging on the edge of what was once the mantle, his body soaring towards the sky. The storm was ready to take him.

Thor’s bod tensed and Loki had time only to look at his hard profile before he flew.

The air soared past his ears, electricity danced over him and Loki could barely breathe. Only Thor’s grip held him in place, only Thor was the stability around him.

Hail started to fall from the sky, columns lightning fell towards the home they were in, crashing, breaking, and devastating everything that was in there.

Everything Thor brought, everything that was once grand in the palace was taken down.

Piece by piece, the building started to break under the lightning and where he was above them, Loki saw the ‘slaves’ make it to safety.

The yells ad screams of Loptr and Azure’s cronies were silenced one by one.

The mountain, which the building was embedded in also trembled, the snow started to slip downwards.

Loki’s heart stopped at the thought of them crushing those Azure forced under his employ but Thor was faster. He hurled his hammer down, toppling both him and Loki.

Loki screamed behind his muzzle as he fell, twisting and turning with Thor, the two of him flying toward the ground at a dangerous pace.

The metallic thrum was heard before he saw the hammer return and Loki groaned in pain as Thor once more flew, the force of his flight making Loki double over, Thor’s arm digging into him

There was pain and confusion, there was snow, hail, rain, blizzard and Thor.

So much in so little time, one after the other became overwhelming.

The thin air was not helping, neither was the muzzle. Thor was used to this air, Loki was not and it wasn’t long before Thor felt Loki go utterly limp in his arm.

He turned his head and gasped when he saw Loki hanging over his arm, seemingly weightless.

With the building crumbling under them, the sliding blocks of ice and snow captured in the crater Thor made with his hammer, with the end of two despicable being behind them, Thor landed.

On a hilltop that was far away from where they had been. He carefully set Loki down in the snow and straightened to look behind him.

The rumbling and falling snow, took the remainder of the building with it. Pillars rolled till they reached the end, slowing down and stopping. Chunks of concrete crashed down, glass floated to the snow in small and large pieces.

It was gone.

Everything was gone.

A groan made him turn his head and Thor saw Loki stir. He dropped Mjolnir down and crouched by him, gently taking muzzle off.

Loki breathed deeply through his mouth and Thor carefully turned him on his side, taking the ropes that bound him off.

Falling on his back, Loki had his eyes closed as he took in the needed air. Thor stayed close, not saying a single word as Loki collected himself.

He didn’t know what to say.

But, as it was, two minutes later, after he had enough breath, Loki spoke for him.

“Why?” he asked

His voice was throaty, tired but his eyes bored into Thor’s

“After all you have done” Loki said “Why?”

Thor dropped his gaze to Loki’s chest, watching something closely. Loki looked and froze when he saw his chain and rings were on display.

His and Thor’s, right there.

His secret was out before Thor and he quickly reached over to push them back in.

But his hand was grabbed by Thor in a gentle grip, pulled aside before he touched the rings, picking them up and looking at them.

He saw his own, he saw Loki’s, then he looked into Loki’s eyes.

He still didn’t speak, but Loki could have sworn he heard him. Sitting up, he brushed himself down, putting the chain and rings back.

Thor didn’t comment, which was a small mercy, and stood, looking at the terrain.

“If you go west, you can reach the safe houses” Thor spoke

His voice was deep and Loki looked up at him, frowning.

“Make sure you hide yourself, you never know where Odin has his men. I also heard of foreign looters making their home in the trail” Thor said

He reached down and pulled Loki up, ignoring the grunt he gave.

Both his bracers were gripped and pulled off and Loki gasped as his magic was given back to him. It felt like someone dripped warmth on him, from his head to his toes and he shut his eyes, feeling it go to his fingertips and making them tingle.

It felt heavenly.

When he opened his eyes, Thor was crushing the bracers in his hand and dropping them to the ground.

He kicked them aside before he looked around.

There were mostly trees and caves around here.

Not that he intended to walk, he would fly to where he needed to go. He licked his lip as he calculated a way back, but startled when his shoulder was touched.

He turned and saw Loki standing right before him.

His green eyes were just as beautiful as last time and Thor blinked when he found them looking into his own.

“Thor…”

A roar interrupted them and Thor suddenly shoved Loki back, out of the way as a huge white Jotun bear tackled him to the ground.

It roared and snarled, its claws digging the soft ground the bear and Thor lay on, fighting.

Loki’s eyes widened when one of the bear’s paws went through the ground and a huge chunk started to crumble.

“Thor!” Loki yelled, extending his hand as though to grab him.

But it mattered naught.

For in the time it took Loki to lean forward, the ground collapsed and Thor fell backwards, down the edge of the hill, with the Jotun bear latched into him.


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Say it with me
> 
> PORN!!!

_“What did he do to you?” “Odin?” he scoffed “Unimaginable things. Things I cannot remember even now. Things I cannot think about. Things I cannot breathe around when I say them out loud” Sheets shifted, his bed dipped “Tell me” Blue eyes lifted to green, shining still, even after they shed so much “You truly want to know?” “I would not have asked otherwise, you know this” A sigh escaped his lips, decorated with a single red cut that went down his lower lip. “Then prepare yourself, you will not like this” And he went back then, seven years ago, when he was strapped to a table, screaming for someone to save him._

***

“Fimbulvetr…”

Horror broke upon Laufey then and he looked up, his eyes wide, shock on his face. That single word, that creature, looking at him had him staring at Thor’s body in terror.

Then Thor screamed and his body jerked as though he was on fire. He thrashed and screamed and yelled.

“Kill me!” he pleaded “Father, kill me, please, I cannot fight him!”

Laufey stared at him, shaking his head “I cannot…”

“Please!” Thor shouted “He’s in – in my chest, I can feel him, get him out!!”

Odin and Loki moved together. They rushed forth to Thor’s side.

Both of them held magic in their hands, both of them looked at him with purpose.

Loki to save him, Odin to kill him.

But at the last moment, when Thor looked uncertainly between Odin did something. He did something to Thor’s mind and he saw a vision completely different than what was before him,

He saw Loki, his beloved, raise his hands in a spell to kill him.

“No!”

The cry ripped from Thor’s lips a second before both spells hit him. The force was immense, the pain was immeasurable and Thor screamed in agony as it tore him apart. His back arched off the bed and he writhed as he felt the thing inside him react to their combined spells.

Loki and Odin stared, watching in horror as Thor started to convulse on the bed, shaking against the bonds, faster than they thought possible.

Loki’s eyes were wide and he could only stand there in horror, watching as the young man he cared for, loved and cherished, was thrashing and slamming the bed. The healers around, had their eyes wide, their mouths agape as they watched.

Laufey stood there, pale. Helblindi had his hand clenched in his Father’s robe as they all watched.

Thor shuddered and jerked, in so much pain that he could barely let it out.

The bed shook with his movements, jumping and shaking uncontrollably as the force of Thor’s pain took its toll.

“Help him!” Loki went to go to his side again

But he had taken barely a step, his footfall not even complete, Laufey reached out to pull him back but it was no use, when it happened.

The screaming stopped and Thor’s body suddenly went still, his head snapping towards Loki, a horrifying grin on his face. His eyes – they were so frightening that two healers fled – were devoid of irises and his face twisted into an insane smile.

He wasn’t breathing – it seemed no one was.

Loki’s heart could have stopped in fear, as the horrible thing before him. He jumped violently when a harsh, rasping breathing escaped Thor’s lips, he started to gurgle, the sound broken and loosely paced so Loki had no idea when the next one would come.

He was shaking, Loki realized, as he watched, not knowing what to do.

A screech of metal ripped through the room and Helblindi shoved Laufey aside, tackling him so both fell to safety when the bed soared from beneath Thor and crashed through the ice and glass window by the doors. It hung there, a testament of horror, of the fear that was lingering inside the room.

And yet, when Loki saw Thor, he felt as though he was trapped in a nightmare.

His body never moved, it hovered in mid-air, that unholy smile upon his lips.

He was suspended between reality and death. Just – waiting.

Odin, who had not moved from where he was, took a deep breath and tapped the ground with his staff.

Loki flinched when Thor’s head moved so fast he could have sworn he heard his bones snap. He faced Odin now.

The gurgling picked up its pace and Loki felt a hand around his arm, gently pulling him back. He knew it was Helblindi, but he couldn’t look away from Thor, frozen as he was.

Odin watched Thor, unfazed by his smile or the fact that there were dark red bruises forming around his eyes, making his white eyes glow.

“Odin…”

Loki felt Helblindi tense behind him.

That was not Thor’s voice. It was a culmination, a blend of two different monsters, deep, resonating in the room.

“Son of Bor”

“What do you want?” Odin demanded

Despite the terror that surrounded the room, his voice was strong. Loki looked at him, knowing he was their only chance now.

The gurgling sounded once more, faster and more rapid than before and Loki realized that it was laughter.

That monster was laughing.

An ungodly howl ripped from Thor’s throat, they had to cover their ears and turn away. It was loud, shrill and the windows exploded, showering them with glass, broken into fine powder. It shook the room, the floor and Loki lost his balance, falling to his Father’s feet. Laufey knelt down by him, holding him around the shoulders – either to protect him or himself, Loki didn’t know.

All he could be aware of was Thor.

He was now upright, standing with his arms by his side, his head hanging to the side, watching Odin.

“What sort of game is this?” Odin demanded

Thor started to chant then, the sound making Loki cringe against his father

“Game, game, game, game….” He laughed as he kept repeating it, over and over as though it was a prayer.

Odin frowned “I asked you something, demon!”

“Game, game, game, game, game, game, game….” He repeated again and again, whispering it, looking at Odin

“Fimbulvetr!” Odin snapped, irritated.

Thor went silent. Once more, it felt like no one in the room was breathing. He looked at Odin, his chin dipped down, his white eyes surrounded by those bloody circles.

“What do you want with my son?”

Slowly, Thor started to grin again and two more healers fled. They left the door open but it slammed back shut so hard it cracked the thick ice.

“Four days”

Loki looked at Thor, his body shaking

“Four days it will take” Thor replied “In four days, I will rip the soul from his body and take it with me to hel!”

Another high pitched scream made everyone in the room shrunk back, covering their ears.

It was stronger than the last and as Thor screamed, his eyes closed, the red faded from around them and he fell to the floor with a sick crack.

The ominous air in the room cleared and Loki gasped, looking up to see his husband just lying there.

He pulled away from Thor and fled to him, falling on his knees beside Thor’s head.

“Thor” Loki shook him “Thor, wake up! Wake up!”

The man didn’t move. His eyes were shut and Loki whimpered softly, brushing his hair back.

“Thor, please, please wake up”

Nothing. There was no reaction and Loki felt his brother come up behind him. He felt his arms come around him and pull him back, but Loki didn’t want to let go. His hand clenched in his clothes, breaking Helblindi’s heart.

“Loki” he whispered “We cannot help him, we do not possess the magic… you …”

“I have to” Loki whimpered “Please, look at him, he needs me…”

Thor’s eyes were closed, right now, he looked asleep, but they all knew what was really happening. There was nothing that _they_ could do.

Gently, Helblindi reached over and removed Loki’s hands from Thor’s clothes, pulling him back. He tried to make him stand but Loki was not responding. He was staring at Thor, lost in his shock, so Helblindi sighed and reached down, pulling Loki into his arms to pick up.

It frightened him that Loki made no protest, just kept looking at Thor, turning his head to keep him in sights when Helblindi turned to take him away. Behind them, Laufey and Odin were talking in hushed voices. In the back of his mind, Loki knew that there was a high chance that this was the last time he saw his husband.

***

They had decided to move Thor away from there. He was to be in another room, tied and secured so that he didn’t hurt anyone, including himself.

It was a drastic step, but something that was necessary.

Loki had not taken it well and demanded that he be released, that he get the help he wanted. But none of the healers were going to close to him now. Odin had forbidden it. He had told them that he would care for the boy himself, that he was the one who would get the spirit out of him.

Laufey had agreed, so had Helblindi. Loki had not been consulted because the matter was too close to his heart.

It had led to a screaming match between Loki and Helblindi until the elder brother realized that this was Loki’s way of coping. He was trying to let out his fear and find some sort of assurance to ground himself with.

He was terrified of losing Thor.

No such fear touched the All Father, however. He had plans that were different from the ones he was claiming to follow.

He was bound to another burden and he was so close to having it that he gave no thought to anyone. Thor was the perfect candidate for now and Odin beamed as he got full control over him.

Tonight, he would get what he wanted.

After they had retired, all those weaklings, Odin told them no one was to enter the room he was going to be in.

Thor was going to be ‘cured’ after all.

The door closed after Odin, locked it with a spell and looked before him.

The room was freezing. It was so damn cold that everything from the floor to the ceiling was covered in a layer of frost. Odin shivered and conjured a heavy cloak around his shoulders. It dragged on the floor as he walked, making a path through the dusting of snow and ice.

Thor lay on the bed, his eyes closed. His breathing was raspy, indicating that the monster inside him was stronger than he was at the moment.

Good

Odin wanted that.

He made no effort to be quiet as he walked to where Thor was, his staff dragging across the floor as he strode onwards. He wanted Fimbulvetr to wake up, he wanted him to react to Odin.

He wanted answers, so he walked with his steps deliberately heavy.

The reaction on Fimbulvetr was slow. Thor’s hands twitched before his eyes opened, the same clear white they had been before. They blinked a few times before he turned his head to where the All Father was.

It took him a second, perhaps from laying so dormant for so long, but the demon recognized him and smiled.

“All Father” he beamed “Have you a reason to come to me, unprotected?”

“You know I always have reasons to what I do” Odin said

“For everything?” Fimbulvetr asked him softly

“Aye, everything” Odin said, dismissively, bringing over a chair to sit on

He set it beside the bed, looking at his son and the monster inside him.

“You didn’t tell them that I summoned you” Odin said “Why? You could have easily ousted me”

Fimbulvetr smiled “I could have, yes. Told them that you blinded your son and left his mind open for me to contaminate, but what would have that gotten me?”

“You would have been pulled out and thrown away” Odin said “Like some sort of tumour.”

“And what would they have done to you, I imagine” Fimbulvetr said “I did you a favour, Odin. I did not expose you”

Odin hummed and looked at him. There was silence between the two at the moment, wisps of steam rising around them both. There was little light allowed by the dimming sconces and when he breathed, fog escaped Thor’s parched lips.

His skin was grey and there were patches of it which were frozen. His arms, legs and hand looked like they were turning into ice and Odin sighed, fog forming before him, as he realized Thor was dying.

“I suppose you did” he eventually said

It delighted Fimbulvetr, who smirked “And what will I get in return for this favour?”

“What is it you want?” Odin asked him bluntly “A medal?”

Fimbulvetr laughed, that horrible gurgling sound heard from earlier. It made Odin grimace but he waited as the disgusting, wet sound eventually faded to nothing.

Thor’s chest heaved a little, as though the energy taken to laugh was too much.

Odin waited until he had collected himself enough before he spoke again

“You are weak”

“This body fights me” Fimbulvetr said “He is too strong, he wants to live. I find it harder, since I was kept in Hel for so long, to match him. It is a struggle”

Odin watched him carefully. Thor’s body was dying, but he was still alive and Odin thought he would prove to be strong enough to fight his way back.

“You require a weaker soul” he concluded, running a hand through his hair.

He grimaced when he found it slightly damp, the dusting of snow and ice from above no doubt doing that for him.

“One that has magic, aye” Fimbulvetr said “I would need the magic to make myself stronger before I took the soul.”

Odin hummed “And would you be willing to wait for this body?”

“Yes”

Fimbulvetr looked at him once more, his white eyes focused on his face. His body shuddered and he smiled.

“You will give me this new body?” he asked

“In time” Odin said “But you have to do something for me”

“Ah, of course” Fimbulvetr replied, watching Odin carefully “Nothing done without a reason, yes?”

“Yes” Odin said distractedly “I will give you a new body, wage war on Jotunhiem so you can rule her once more. Carve out her heart, toss her aside, I care naught. But you are to do something for me, something that is harder than you have ever done before”

His raspy breathing sounded before Fimbulvetr spoke “Go on”

Odin looked at his staff, regret in his voice.

“I lost my wife” he told him calmly “She and I fought so she stormed away. In a bid to bring her back to me, I went after her and tried to grab her arm.”

Fimbulvetr listened carefully. He had heard of this – Lady Frigga had been killed before her time.

“We were at the stairs and when she wrenched her arm away from me…” Odin said

“She fell down those very stairs” Fimbulvetr mused, as though looking into his thoughts “And then rose to Valhalla”

Odin didn’t look at him. He was still seeing it happen, seeing it go on in slow motion, as though set in his skull so he could never look away from it.

“Yes” he finally replied

“And you think I can get her for you?” Fimbulvetr asked, pointedly moving Thor’s arms “Like this?”

“Nay, not like this” Odin said “Thor will live, you will leave his body. I will get you another, one infused with magic and weaker than his spirit. In return you will go to Valhalla and bring my Frigga back”

Fimbulvetr looked at him, as though tired of this “Getting a new body will not aid me in going to get your beloved, my King.”

“Then what do you require?” Odin inquired, his blue gaze fixed on the demon “Tell me”

Fimbulvetr exhaled “Time.”

He turned his head to look at Odin, who seemed confused.

“To get your wife” he explained “You think a thin like me will be allowed to enter the ever to pious Valhalla? Nay, Odin. Even with your knowledge, you cannot think to know what happens up there or down in hel. To do as you ask is to spend a long time getting it, but I will get it, no doubt.”

Odin didn’t speak, he watched him carefully, not giving any of his current feelings away.

“When I return with her, you will have arranged for a better suited form for me” Fimbulvetr said “and Jotunhiem to rule, as promised?”

“Of course” Odin replied, his back straightening as he promised “Just hold up your end of the bargain. I will get her back, you will have a realm and I will have my wife”

Fimbulvetr smiled and extended Thor’s cold, frozen hand. It was a shake, a truce and an agreement between the two men.

“I will alert you when I have her” Fimbulvetr said

“And I will have a realm waiting for you when you do” Odin swore, taking his hand.

It was like holding the coldest ice in Jotunhiem, but he held strong, not wavering even as Fimbulvetr smiled at him grotesquely. His promise and Odin’s was real now, what Odin had promised himself was coming to fruition – he would finally have his Frigga back.

He let his hand go and watched as the grey faded from Thor, as his body started to warm and as he screamed in agony wrought upon him as the monster inside him left him, tearing his soul as he did so.

***

Loki could not stop himself any longer.

He had tried to obey his father, he had tried to sleep, but it was no use. He had tried to listen to Helblindi, to Heron, Halvor and just about everyone who told him not to go there, who told him to stay in his room.

He knew, in the back of his mind that he should obey them, but something much stronger was compelling him to go. They trusted Odin, Loki did not. He knew the man was up to something, he knew that the man who had left his own child freeze to near death would not risk himself to bring him back from one of the worst fates ever seen.

He knew.

And with this knowledge in his mind, Loki started to make his way to the room Thor was in. conveniently, Odin had ordered that no one was to disturb him and because of what had happened, everyone was quick to obey him. They were frightened, rightfully so. Whatever Fimbulvetr was planning, was no doubt bad for them.

That monster was a menace, a dread that they would have to face now. If he were to get what he wanted, there would be no hope for Jotunhiem. Everything that Loki, Laufey and Thor had worked for would be for naught. He would bring with him an eternal winter and with that, death.

He would destroy Jotunhiem forever, only to rebuild it the way he wanted.

At best, all the Jotuns would be refugees, at worst, they would be dead.

Fimbulvetr was feared for a reason, he was a terror that had to be eradicated once. If he was back, then he would wreak havoc as a form of revenge.

Loki knew that neither Odin nor Laufey had the powers their forefathers had. They would not be able to defeat him. The only way to stop him was to take him from Thor and send him to Jotunhiem.

Odin claimed to be doing that, but Loki was suspicious. The man would never help Thor, he could easily kill Thor and never let Fimbulvetr enter the realm – which would have been his way to help - yet he had locked himself inside to save Thor.

He didn’t buy it.

There was something else going on.

Loki was going to find out the plan that old King had no matter what.

His footsteps were careful, but he need not have been. Thor had scared everyone badly enough that they fled the halls that housed him. There were two guards there but they were dozing and Loki was silent enough to go past without them knowing.

His eyes watched, his ears were careful to register any sound made around him.

He really didn’t want his father to catch him here. He needed to be careful, he needed to get to Thor and find out what Odin had planned.

The room was at the other end of the hall. It looked like something from a cryptic horror tale. He saw light coming from beneath the door, he heard movement.

He froze when someone came close to the door and was prepared to hide but it didn’t matter; they carried on as though he was not heard.

Loki took the few steps needed to stand before the door and froze when he heard the desperate keen Thor gave.

“Please….”

Loki’s heart faltered at how desperate that voice sounded

“I beg you…” Thor pleaded, his voice filled with despair “It’s me, it’s not him, Father, please…”

Loki flinched when Thor cried out again, then _screamed_ in agony.

“ _Stop!_ ”

He could take no more. Loki used his magic to blast open the door. It flew off it’s hinges, attached only by the lock. It hung by the wall as he walked in and froze.

There was blood.

_Everywhere_

Thor’s clothes, his body was torn open and Loki shouted in rage, storming over

“What have you done!?” he demanded, his voice enraged “What have you done to him!?”

Odin, who was startled by his entrance, quickly regained his composure and glowered at him

“That monster is trying to trick us!” Odin yelled “I will not have it!”

Thor, who was terrified and in unbearable pain, shook his head

“No!” he pleaded “Loki, no, don’t leave me, it’s me! I’m Thor, I’m not that monster, please!”

Loki strode to him and waved a hand over Thor, healing him. Odin took a step forward but he was thrown back by Loki’s magic.

“You stay away from him!” Loki growled, freeing Thor from his trap and holding him close “Stay away!”

Odin groaned and Thor clutched Loki close, holding him tightly, as though he were a child.

“It’s me, I swear, it’s me, no one else, please…” he begged Loki

Loki cradled his head to his chest, put an arm around his shoulders and held him to his body

“I know”

Thor’s broken voice, his frightened eyes told him everything he needed to know. He helped him off the bed when Odin stood.

“He is not Thor,” Odin said “It’s Fimbulvetr, you are making a mistake!”

“And you are stepping over your bounds!” Loki snapped “Stay where you are and don’t you dare follow us.”

Thor was shaking and though he was taller, he hung on Loki, needing the comfort his lover gave. Loki held him tightly, his arm around his waist.

Odin glared at him “Mark my words, Jotun, you will pay for this”

Loki barked in laughter “You are a fool, then. No better than the idiots who occupy the asylum in our realms. You think I will believe what you have done is for his good? You are a fool! And I will make sure you pay for this!”

His voice, his rage was becoming hard to control. He had already been found out, so he didn’t care. Laufey and Helblindi were rushing to where they were, guards behind them. Thor looked at them, his face, his hair bloody, his arms held Loki more securely.

He was afraid, his heart was pounding in his chest and he felt sick. Loki felt his tug and glowered at them all. He shielded Thor behind him, feeling ganged up on. It was unfair and his teeth showed as he snarled at them.

“Stay away from us!” he demanded, glaring at them all “Don’t you touch him!”

He looked insane and Laufey stopped, Helblindi behind him. The two of them stared at Loki, at the way he guarded Thor, who looked utterly terrified.

Odin walked in, seeing the doubt in their eyes and decided to play on it.

“He is still possessed and Loki is standing in the way!” he said “He’s acting like a fool!”

“Standing in the way of whatever plan you have for my Thor!” Loki roared at him “He is not possessed, look at him!”

Thor’s hand tightened in Loki’s clothes and Laufey raised his hands

“Loki, be careful, I know you are upset but this …”

He broke off when Loki stomped his foot, sending a blast of energy lashing outwards, making them shut up.

His eyes held so much rage even Laufey shut up.

“Get out of my way” Loki said very softly “All of you. Now!”

They flinched back, their hands raised. They did not believe Loki or Thor, the crowned Prince was sure they would come after him once they left. He held Thor’s hands around his waist and made sure he was with him as he shut his eyes.

Laufey had expected him to run but when he felt the air crackle around him, powered by magic, he made to stop him.

“Loki, wait!”

The second he took a step closer, magic erupted from Loki, throwing them all back. Helblindi grunted as he was thrown against the wall, Laufey skid across the floor.

Odin made to grab one of them but it was too late. The magic was gone, Thor was gone, his plan was gone.

Right before his eyes, he saw his entire plan leave him.

Because if Thor told Loki anything, Odin was going to be done for.

***

_The bed shifted again as Loki stood and went to get Thor some water. The entire tale was making him tired. Reliving it must have been terrible._

_Thor lay where he was, watching Loki._

_He saw how tired he looked, how tired he was of everything._

_And Thor was doubly so._

_Yet he knew that this was not over, none of this was over._

_Loki picked up a pitcher set upon a small table in the corner, pouring water into a glass for Thor before he brought it back. He sat next to him again, looking at him as he handed the water to him._

_“What happened next?”_

_Loki knew what happened, but he wanted Thor to say it._

_He wanted to know if he had really made as huge a mistake as Thor had accused him of._

***

There was no place like this small home Loki had made for himself.

He had it constructed years ago, atop a hill that overlooked the beautiful sea of Jotunhiem. It was private, small and far away from the kingdom.

He and Sigyn had it made when they got married but they rarely used it. Now, it lay in the snow and ice, alone and waiting for someone to occupy it.

There was everything available, thanks to Loki and his magic. The house was designed to take care of him.

So when he came here, using his teleportation spell, it came as no surprise that the enchanted house reacted to his presence.

The dust vanished off the furniture, the floors where cleaned, the drapes were pulled back. The rooms were brighter, the house looked lived in.

It was stunning, but at the moment, he was focused solely on the young man attached to him, trembling in the wake of his torture. Thor’s thick arms were still around him and he swallowed loudly. His cheek rested atop Loki’s head and his breath stuttered in his ear.

“It’s me” he whispered “It’s not that monster, it’s me, I’m Thor…”

Loki clicked his tongue softly “I know, dear. I know. He was a monster, he is the demon, no one else.”

Slowly, he turned and faced Thor.

He knew what he had looked like, but between the argument and escape, he seemed to have forgotten enough to have Thor’s appearance give him a serious shock.

He cupped his face in his hands and brushed his thumb over his cheek.

“Come with me” he said softly “I will care for you”

Thor looked at him and nodded, his muscles still twitching. He was scared, he was ashamed of being scared and as such he said little.

Loki stepped back, making sure Thor was with him, taking him towards the bathing chambers.

They lit up as they sensed Loki’s presence and with a wave of his hand, the tub started to fill, the taps flowing with hot water.

Thor’s eyes went to the water, then he looked back at Loki, who had started pushing his torn clothes off.

Thor didn’t want to let him go, so Loki didn’t insist. He threw off his bloody shirt, not wanting to look at it. He pulled open Thor’s belt and trousers, letting them fall to the floor.

“Step out, love” he said softly

Thor obeyed, his hands stayed on Loki’s shoulders as Loki helped him out. Then he straightened, pausing when Thor cupped his nape, looking down at him sadly

“I – I am not weak” Thor whispered “I am not…”

“I know” Loki said, holding his hand against him “You are brave, Thor. To stand up tall after what you have been”

He kissed his wrist and stepped towards the tub.

“Now come on”

He led Thor to the tub and watched as Thor sunk in. he saw his beautiful blue eyes shut as the water soothed him.

It must have been hell, laying there, unable to control what was happening. It made Loki’s blood boil with rage.

But he banked on those flames. He moved to sit on his knees beside Thor and reached over to pick up the soap and sponge, dipping them in water.

Thor’s eyes opened and he looked to protest.

“Lay back” Loki ordered softly “Let me do this. It’s the least I can do after failing you so miserably before”

He was unprepared for the way Thor’s hand slowly reached out of the water to curl under his cheek and thus startled a little. He looked at Thor, his green eyes confused as his husband shook his head.

“Don’t say that” Thor said “Please. You know that is not true. You have never failed me”

Loki swallowed thickly “But I …”

“Hush”

Thor slid his thumb over his lips, silencing him. Once Loki listened, he took the soap and sponge from him, placing them aside. He pulled Loki closer.

“Get in with me” Thor whispered, kissing his lips “I wish to thank you properly”

Loki blinked “You don’t have to…”

He broke off when Thor kissed him again and felt his husband’s hand at the front of his clothes. His protests died then and Loki let Thor undress him.

His robe fell first, then his tunic, leaving his body bare for Thor.

Thor pulled at him, trying to get in in the tub but Loki paused, long enough to get out of his trousers and under things, then stepped in.

The water was amazing and he sunk down low into it, moaning when Thor slowly moved to lay him back, getting on top and kissing him properly.

The Aesir groaned into Loki’s mouth and Loki’s arms moved out of the water to wrap around Thor’s shoulders as he kissed him back. His legs wrapped around Thor, giving him the space he needed to crowd Loki and kiss and mark him as he wished. His hands went into Thor’s hair and he moaned softly when Thor pulled his tongue past his plush lips and suckled on it.

Thor’s hands were on either side of him, Loki was completely covered by him. He writhed softly beneath him, lifting himself up to rub against him.

Loki moved his lips from Thor’s tipping his head back when Thor kissed his cheek, his jaw and down his neck, slowly grinding against him. Pleasure shot through Loki and he hissed, biting his lip.

Lifting his lashes, he smiled at Thor, who was enchanted by Loki at the moment. Gods above, he was so beautiful. Thor couldn’t help but kiss his beautiful mouth once more, parting his lips and pushing his tongue in, tasting him.

For himself, Loki lifted his hips, bucking against Thor, wanting to feel some sort of friction. He could feel how hard Thor was, he could feel how hard he was and the thought of having Thor inside him was making him shudder.

“You are beautiful” Loki whispered to him when Thor bit down his neck “I feel like a lecher when I think of the things I want you to do to me”

Thor rumbled in silent laughter “Oh? Tell me, then you senile old pervert – what do you want”

“I can barely form words” Loki panted softly, feeling Thor’s lips on his shoulder “Your mouth does amazing things to me”

Thor grinned and turned his head to the side to look at him “My mouth? What is it you see my mouth doing to you, Loki?”

As he said it, he deliberately set his lips on Loki’s neck, sucking a bruise on his skin.

Loki moaned loudly, placing a hand behind his head, biting his lip in arousal when he felt Thor lick his skin, feel him taste him

“Sinful things…” Loki breathed

Thor smiled “How sinful, Loki? You want me on my knees? Pleasuring you in every way a man can please another? Or you want me bite you, mark you and make sure you won’t be able to move without feeling a tug or a throb to remind you of me?”

And gods, if that was not the most erotic thing Thor had ever said to him, nothing was.

“You are wicked” Loki panted, turning his head when Thor made him look at him and opening his lips to let Thor kiss him again.

Thor was large and he moved over Loki, hands on either side of his shoulders. He could feel Loki shiver in pleasure and wanted to give him more.

Loki yelped as Thor suddenly sat back, pulling Loki with him so Loki straddled his hips. He looked at him, his eyes wide, his mouth swollen.

“Tonight” Thor said, looking up at him “You will have the experience you deserve, my love”

He kissed Loki’s chest, once, twice, then bit him – hard.

Loki gasped, his head falling back as he felt himself shudder.

Oh, how he never thought Thor was capable of this! He was so wrong.

Thor’s hands were positioned to make Loki his. One set in the middle of his back, the other slowly snuck past his hips, venturing for his entrance.

Loki cried out when Thor slipped his fingers into him from behind, his slick juices coating them.

“You are so aroused” Thor whispered “move back into my hand, Loki”

Loki whined in ecstasy and obeyed, clinging to Thor, his arms going around Thor’s neck as he pushed back against his fingers.

“I will ruin you tonight” Thor told him “You will never forget this”

Slowly and carefully, he pushed his fingers in deeper. Loki was slick, his skin soft and smooth inside and his voice was sharp by his ear

“Thor…” Loki whispered “Please…”

Thor rubbed his insides, pushing two fingers in as deep as they would go. Loki was shaking, his whispers and whimpers loud by his ear. His voice was broken, wrecked as he panted wetly beside him.

His hands moved helplessly against Thor’s back, pulling on his hair, raking his back. He was searching for a release, a stop to this as much as he was searching for a way to get _more_.

He sobs loudly as Thor thrusts his fingers in and out of him, pressing up against him, looking for that little nub inside him that would bring Loki to climax.

Loki’s mouth hung open and his eyes were shut. Choked, pleasured noises escaped his throat as Thor ventured deeper and deeper, still, looking for…

“Oh!” Loki’s high pitched yelp sounded his victory.

Thor smiled, rubbing his fingertips against the treasure he’d found, making Loki writhe and wiggle against him.

“Thor…” Loki choked “I …”

He made a low, raw noise in his throat that drove Thor on.

It was beautiful.

Loki’s climax was always stunning and Thor watched, as much as he could, as Loki’s face started to blush, his eyes went dew and his lashes rested on his cheeks when he closed them.

His breath was hot and wet, one hand rested on Thor’s shoulder, the other was over his chest, as though to push away. His voice choked, broke and stuttered and when Thor pressed against him, one last heavenly time, Loki cried out softly.

Thor felt it, it was a gentle convulsion of his hips, his channel constricting around Thor’s fingers for a few blessed seconds before he came.

Beautiful, stunning.

Loki.

And Thor couldn’t wait to have more.

***

Thor played with the hair within his reach, his fingers caressing them softly as they both walked out of the bath, wrapped in soft, sweet smelling bathrobes. They were loose and tied at the waist, opened at the chest.

Loki smiled at he felt Thor’s touches and looked at him, his green eyes shining.

He said not a word, but his arm suddenly went around Thor, making the younger man smile, his eyes looking into Loki’s.

His eyes went to Thor’s, then dropped to his mouth before they went back and he knew what Thor wanted.

A moment later, Thor lowered his head and took Loki’s mouth beneath his own.

Loki melted in his grip, his voice muffled against Thor’s lips, and he pressed himself closer.

When he did, Thor pulled him closer and his hand went to Loki’s bottom, giving it a firm squeeze.

Loki inhaled sharply in response and Thor parted his lips to push his tongue in, his heavy groan lifting into the air a moment later.

His grip tightened on Loki and he moaned, parting his mouth further as his tongue slipped into the slick depths, licking the roof once inside. Loki shuddered, in pleasure and gasped when he felt Thor’s hand skim over the opening of his robe before it slipped inside to grope him.

That made Loki break off the kiss and turn his head to the side to expose his neck

“Please…” he panted softly, moaning as Thor licked his neck, placing soft kisses on it.

Thor pleasured him and walked them to the bed.

Loki’s eyes closed when Thor pushed him down on his back and climbed on top of him, kissing him as though he never had before. This was beautiful and Loki pulled Thor closer, tugging on his bathrobe.

Thor’s loud gasp made Loki look at him and found the prince levered over him, looking down at him, his gaze slightly stunned. A low growl escaped his lips and Loki cried out softly when the man started to place large, passionate bites on his neck, licking it with the flat of his tongue afterwards, then placing open mouthed kisses against his skin.

Loki’s breathing was heavy, he was dragging his feet on the bed and his hands were skating across Thor’s body to feel him fully.

He liked this; he wanted this so badly.

The sheets hissed beneath them as Thor got firmly on top, his large hands touching Loki wherever he pleased; his hair, his neck, his face, his shoulders.

When he encountered his loose robe, he looked for the tie, Thor gave a pleased growl and grabbed the tie to open it, then pulling it off Loki and throwing it aside carelessly.

Loki gasped at the rough treatment, looking at his King with lust and love combined.

He swallowed thickly and made to speak but Thor was impatient. He feast his eyes on the stunning display before him.

Loki was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen, pale, shapely, lithely muscled.

He wanted him all, he wanted to taste him all.

Lowering his head, he started to lick and nibble Loki’s chest, pinning his wrists down by his head.

“Thor…” Loki panted “Yes, please…”

He turned his head from side to side, his back arching off the bed when Thor bit down on his ribs, his hipbones and licked stripes up and down his body. His voice was a low rumble as he pleased himself, pleased Loki.

He was hard in his robe and his hips began to move against Loki’s thigh, making Loki moan in realization of the effect he had on Thor.

Thor had let go of his hands a while back and they had yet to return to their touching. Instead, his slender fingers were tugging on the sheets and he was moaning softly now, encouraging Thor to continue what he was doing.

Thor’s hands rested on his neck, turning his head to him so he could kiss him again.

Loki opened his mouth for him and he whimpered when Thor’s hands went to stroke his face, the touch surprisingly gentle for all his growling and impatience. His own pale hands placed themselves on Thor’s wrists as they kissed, deepening it as Thor dominated him. Tilting his head aside to better accommodate the kiss, Loki hissed in pleasure when Thor placed a knee on his arousal and gently pressed down.

“You are so beautiful” he purred “I want to please you so badly”

His voice, thick with sex and lust, made Loki shudder.

He looked into his eyes, swallowing thickly.

“Please” he whispered “Yes…”

Thor stroked his flushed, heated cheeks with his thumb, the feeling was like leather against silk, a stark contrast.

“I will” he panted “I am not done with you yet”

Whatever reassurance that gave, Loki took and when next Thor kissed him, he let knew it would get even better.

His hands even held the man closer to him, letting Thor put his weight on him and pressing him into the soft bedding.

Their hearts, for just a moment before Thor moved away, beat as one, together, one above the other, and Loki stared at him as Thor pulled his own robe off, letting it drop somewhere out of sight.

His tanned skin was sinful in its beauty and Loki extended his hands, touching him and making Thor moan. His hands placed themselves flat against Thor’s chest, and he raked his pectorals with his nails, making Thor hiss.

“My beautiful Loki…”

He pushed Loki’s hands down and kissed him again, groaning loudly when Loki’s hands latched into his golden hair. His nails raked Thor’s scalp and spurred him on because the King began to rut against Loki’s leg, loud, obscene noises escaping his lips as he kissed Loki.

When he broke off, Thor looked _wild_ and Loki shivered before he latched onto his neck and bit it, licked and kissed it, while his hands went down to Loki’s freshly donned underwear and yanked it down. He didn’t bother taking them off completely, Loki had to kick them off and he moaned loudly, the sound tapering into a whine when Thor hooked his knee on his shoulder, kissing his pale leg, the underside of the knee, then down his thigh.

He was completely open and splayed before Thor and Loki whimpered when Thor kneeled between his legs, kissing his skin, making him quiver in pleasure.

His tight channel, was right before him, slick with Loki’s need and Thor hesitated not a second.

Loki cried out in shock and ecstasy when Thor placed his mouth on him, licking him first with the flat of his tongue, then delving it inside.

“Thor…” Loki croaked “Thor – _nngh_ – I c-can’t!”

His face was flushed and glistening with perspiration and Thor continued, using his mouth so expertly on Loki that the older man was lost. His fingers clenched in Thor’s hair, tugging on him, pressing himself down against his lips.

Sobs escaped his red, bitten lips, and he shook, his entire body shook as Thor continued, went on lapping and thrusting his tongue into his slick depths.

It made Loki’s back arch off the bed and made him wail in pleasure.

It delighted Thor and the man pulled away, rubbing his mouth on his thigh as he kissed him, bit him, marked him as his own

Loki lay, a quivering, whimpering mess on the sheets and barely noticed Thor had discarded the last of his patience and was now positioning himself above him.

When his large hands rested on either side of Loki’s head, when his knees kicked Loki’s legs open further, he saw him.

Loki was a ruined man, beautiful and shaking beneath him, tears of pleasure in his eyes.

Thor smiled softly at him, his eyes filled with something more than affection.

“You look _beautiful_ like this for me”

It meant something far different than anything Thor had ever said to him and Loki stared into his eyes, then mewl in pleasure when Thor pushed in.

He was huge, filling and invading Loki completely and taking him so fully Loki knew no one else could have him if it ever came to that.

His hands went to Thor’s shoulders, sinking his nails into his skin as Thor parted him and went in deep. Searing pleasure shot through Loki and he moaned, his head moving from side to side on the bed as Thor stilled within, inside him fully.

Their hearts were racing, their breaths were shattered and they were both making soft, pleasured noises.

Then Thor’s lips were at his neck and Loki pulled him closer, sighing in bliss when he began to move.

It felt spectacular, nothing could rival this.

Thor’s hips gained momentum not long after and Loki sobbed and cried in pleasure when he was pushed up and down on the mattress, his skin turning purple and red beneath Thor’s mouth, just like he drew blood from Thor.

From a god.

From his King.

Every obscene noise that passed their lips, every vulgar sound that escaped their lovemaking, drove them on and Loki’s groans, whines and sighs had Thor gasping in pleasure.

When Loki moved, Thor did, when Thor kissed him, Loki returned it, when Loki bit him, Thor thought he would spill right then and there.

But he held back, he wanted to see Loki first, he wanted to memorize his face when he came.

So he ground against him faster, thrust into his tight, wet body with more force and bit his neck, his shoulders and chest as though he was a delicacy.

His hips rammed into Loki’s and he was shaking with the intensity of their actions.

It was beautiful.

Loki reached his climax first, much to Thor’s delight.

His neck arched back, his eyes closed, his face flushed and he keened, a sharp desperate sound in the night, as he raked his nails down Thor’s back, shoulders to latch on to his arms.

His scream, Thor’s name, reached the high corners of the room and everything turned into blinding colours before it turned white and Loki fell back, panting loudly as he went limp.

He was aware of Thor moving above him, somewhere, panting as he pushed in and out of him, rocking the bed and making Loki sob.

The stimulation was driving him further into pleasure and he placed a hand, lazily, on Thor’s chest.

Thor’s own orgasm came with a bellow that rivalled the thunder he was famed for, and he fell on top of Loki after, panting and gasping for air.

He was like a warhorse, ridden long and hard, his muscles were tense beneath Loki’s palms after the man held him tightly, trying to catch his breath.

It was hard, but eventually both of them slipped into sleep, relaxation settling upon them both and taking them into slumber together as they lay in their own spend and the aftermath of passion.

***

In the dead of night, when Loki lay spent and exhausted beside Thor, he thought he heard it.

His body went hot, then cold as he heard that gurgling, filling the dark room with it, getting louder and louder, closer than before.

But when he gasped and opened his eyes, it was gone.

He moved quickly, using magic to light the lamp beside him, then whirled to look at Thor. He blinked when he found him fast asleep, no disturbance on his face, just peace. His blonde hair was spread out across the pillow and the last of the bruises Odin gave him, fading under Loki’s magic.

Loki sat there, watching him for a few long moments as though to see if something was wrong.

When nothing happened, when Thor continued to sleep, Loki sighed heavily.

Nightmare.

It was no doubt that. He turned to blow the lamp out before he lay down beside Thor once more and shut his eyes, his heart slowly calming down as his body relaxed.

And not two minutes later, he was fast asleep once more.

He did feel silly about it when he woke up the next day. He had been spooked by a nightmare, nothing more than his own imagination, really.

This morning, Thor had been asleep when Loki had woken, so Loki decided to make him a nice breakfast.

Of course, that meant going to a small town by the base of their hilltop and getting them. It was no problem, the walk to and from the small town was an hour at most, so Loki got a nice journey to wake him up.

When he came back with bread, eggs and other supplies, he was happy to note that Thor had not yet woken.

Which was great because Loki started to make a large breakfast for him, as a way to further make him feel better. He cooked his eggs, buttered bread and fried it over the stove. He made Thor’s precious flesk and cheese, too. Everything he liked.

The smell woke Thor and Loki smiled when he heard the door open behind him as he set the last of the breakfast on the table.

He felt Thor come closer and smiled

“Have a good sleep, dear?” he called

Thor’s arms came around his waist from behind and Loki smiled, wider when Thor kissed his head.

“I take that as a yes” Loki chuckled “Have you washed up?”

Thor nodded and kissed his temple once more before he lowered his lips to Loki’s ear.

A second later, Loki’s heart stopped when that horrible, gurgling noise rose from Thor’s lips.

Fear clutched his throat and he longed to scream, especially when Thor grabbed him tighter and yanked him away from what safety he had thought he had.

***

_Loki swallowed thickly and looked at Thor, watching his face._

_“What was the last thing you remembered?” he asked softly_

_Thor looked at him, his eyes shining. He wasn’t surprised to see Loki’s were not dry, either._

_He blinked and a single tear slipped down his cheek_

_“Your screaming”_

***

Bubbles.

They were like a roaring ocean to him, surrounding him, hitting his face, moving past him, up above where he longed to be. Bursting to freedom, while he writhed and thrashed under water, trying to lever away and get up.

His lungs were about to explode with the need to breathe, his head was throbbing and yet he couldn’t get out.

The hand behind his head, pushing him under the water was hard, the other at his back was unforgiving and he screamed as he felt himself losing the battle.

He was pulled out.

Loki gasped loudly, desperate to get in the air into his lungs, coughing and gagging. His hands braced themselves on the edges of the tub, trying to prevent himself from going in again. His eyes were red, he was shaking, both in exhaustion and terror, his head was yanked back and a loud sob escaped him.

“S-Stop” he pleaded “Please, enough…”

His face was bruised, there was a thick line of bruises around his throat and burnt marks on his shoulders. He was devoid of his tunic, he was cold and utterly terrified.

And beside him, holding his hair in his large hand, Thor’s face smiled.

“Enough?” he repeated, laughing softly “I just got started and you beg me to stop? How rude, Loki, what would your dam think?”

Tears slipped down Loki’s cheeks and he gasped softly, muffling his cry when Thor – nay, Fimbulvetr – pulled him closer.

“And if I stop” he cooed “you know what happens, Loki”

He kissed his cheek, making Loki cringe. He hated it, he hated this.

Gods, what a mistake he had made. What had he done!?

Loki couldn’t help but let out a sad, helpless whine as he caressed his jaw.

“Please” he whispered, for what seemed like the millionth time “Let us go, please, he has done nothing to you”

“None do” Fimbulvetr said

Loki cried out as he was shoved into the water again, thrashing and fighting to get free of his hold.

He could not use magic

He could not escape

But because his powers were bound, no. that would have made things easier.

Loki was bound by one simple sentence Fimbulvetr had spoken a few hours ago. One simple line.

“If you run” he had rumbled into Loki’s ear as he burnt his shoulders “I will leap from the mountain and leave his body at the base for you to find. I will kill him”

He had given Loki a choice – stay and suffer or run and see Thor die.

Loki had no option, but he prayed that someone find them, somehow, before it was too late.

He wouldn’t be able to last much longer.

He gasped once more when he was pulled out, then mercifully thrown to the floor of their bathing room. He hit it with a wet smack, coughing and gagging, dripping water everywhere. He was trembling and trying not to freeze.

The water was colder than cold, it was torture.

Thor’s feet shifted and Loki cringed as Fimbulvetr approached him once more. He hissed in pain when he grabbed his hair, starting to drag him out.

His pale hands went to hold on to his wrist, trying to gain some footing so it didn’t feel like his head was being pulled off.

He needn’t have bothered, Fimbulvetr pulled him to his feet without effort and took him to the bedroom.

He threw him to the ground and Loki wept softly, falling on the hard floor. He could barely move right now, he was so tired, so damn tired. His half lidded eyes looked at Fimbulvetr as the man stepped over him, in the body of his love, and walked to the fire place in their room.

Loki saw him pick up an iron poker, he understood what was going to happen, but for the life of him he couldn’t move.

He couldn’t escape.

Not when Thor’s life was at risk.

So when Fimbulvetr came back, when he brought the iron poker and put it to its use, the small home filled with Loki’s agonized screams.

***

_He had to look away then and Thor didn’t blame him. He could barely raise his eyes to see Loki, to see his expression._

_He remembered what he did, later on, he remembered. Later on, when he suffered the same with Odin, he remembered._

_He remembered everything that happened, every single day until he broke, until he finally broke under what was being done to him._

_He heard a sniff and looked at Loki, seeing him raise a hand to wipe his eye of tears. He was looking at the floor, not at Thor._

_He couldn’t._

_Thor couldn’t speak, he had no idea what to say._

_“Then your father walked in”_

_He looked at Loki again, Loki, who was perched at the end of the bed they had in this small room. This refuge they had taken in the smallest town they could find right now._

_“Did he?” Thor asked, looking at his hands, not at Loki “What happened after?”_

_“I suspect to this day that he had a hand in it” Loki said “I know it was no coincidence.”_

_“Perhaps”_

_Thor said it out of training, an instinct that was driven into him, not to speak, hear or see the evil in his father. He didn’t mean it._

_“Helblindi was with him” Loki went on, ignoring what Thor said “They saved me from him, from…that monster”_

_“From me” Thor told him_

_“No” Loki looked at him “No matter what you have done, that monster, the one in the cabin was not you. It was Fimbulvetr, not you.”_

_Thor only shrugged. He was a monster, there was no doubt about it. That was why they were hiding here, like criminals. No side wanted him and he had once more dragged Loki down._

_“What happened then?”_

_Loki looked to him when Thor spoke and huffed loudly, letting out a long breath._

_“Odin went to ‘save’ you” Loki said “Helblindi took me away. I was hysterical by then, you have no idea. He’d broken my arm, my leg and I couldn’t take it anymore, I just couldn’t. I was screaming to be taken away, screaming to keep him away from me and that … that is when Odin made his move”_

_Thor remembered that._

_He remembered blood gushing out from his middle, he remembered Loki just watching in horror, telling Odin to take him away. He remembered screaming for mercy, for Loki to come back, for Loki to believe him._

_But no._

_Loki hadn’t. In his own trauma he had been taken away and Thor had been poisoned to believe otherwise, learning the truth far too late._

_Too late._

_He shifted on the bed and Loki looked at him, frowning_

_“What’s wrong?” he asked_

_Thor groaned “My back hurts. The stupid cuts are acting up again”_

_Loki sighed and stood, going to go to him_

_“Let me see”_

_Thor hesitated, only for a second, but let him move him forward and lift his tunic enough to see them._

_There were three deep claw marks and Loki sighed when he saw they were not healing too fast. It made sense since they were so deep, but he still hated it._

_He waved a hand over them, sending another healing spell over them to hasten the process._

_“Lay on your side” Loki said, stepping back “That’s all you can do at this point”_

_Thor nodded and grimaced as he shifted enough to lay on his side. He gave Loki his back and the older man winced when he a few dried lines of blood on it._

_He wished there was more he could do, but between saving Thor and digging him out of the mountain of snow he had been buried in, Loki was exhausted._

_He was completely worn down. All he wanted to do was sleep._

_So he turned away, grabbed the pillows destined for him and the thick furs Thor was not using._

_Thor felt the moment and he looked up, frowning_

_“You … what are you doing?”_

_“Sleeping” Loki said, setting the pillows and fur down. There was a fireplace and a rug before it, Loki would be comfortable._

_Thor’s lips moved a few times before he managed to make a sound._

_“You can sleep up here, Loki, I won’t…”_

_“No” Loki clipped_

_It hurt and Thor almost flinched, and in that time Loki had laid down._

_“Good night, Thor” he said, his voice devoid of emotion_

_Thor watched him for a few seconds, debating on what to do. He knew Loki was stubborn and tonight they had reopened a lot of wounds. He was lashing out._

_So Thor lay back and shut his eyes, too_

_“Good night, Loki”_

_There was no response, but Thor didn’t expect one, so there was nothing he could do._

_As they slept, both of them unaware, the devastation and destruction that had once been a magnificent home to the viceroy, lay where it had been._

_It had been deemed lifeless long ago, but as the minutes passed, the show shifted, the snow at the very top shifted, moving, a little at first, then with more power._

_A hand burst through the snow and ice, clawing through it as the owner dug himself out of the icy grave._

_His dark blue eyes were filled with rage, his clothes were torn, his hair was a mess, but his eyes._

_His eyes were filled with the dark promise of revenge and Azure snarled at the world before him, vowing to avenge the death of his mate._


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Truths and harder truths

“You know, you were not the only one who suffered” his voice said “I was in pain too, I was in pain for years. Magnify your trauma, imagine that it didn’t stop for the next six years and perhaps you will understand me”

Loki, who had been reading his book, blinked and looked up at Thor, a furrow in his brow.

“I beg your pardon?” he asked softly

He **must** have misheard him.

But it didn’t look like it.

Thor, fresh from his bath after using the tepid water their temporary abode had, was finally healed. The wounds had turned to scars over night and apparently his tongue had loosened with his recovery.

He must have been thinking about this all night.

He stood there in nothing but his trousers, which were tied low on his hips.

His body was stunning to look at and Loki felt an inappropriate tirade of thoughts form in his mind as he stared upon him, then looked at his face.

He ignored how his muscles protruded in all the right places, how his abs moved with every breath he took or how his arms were straining in anger.

“You heard me” Thor said, his voice a rumble in the room “I am not belittling your torment, but you need to understand that I went through it as well. I was turned into – into a dog of war for my father, you don’t know anything!”

Loki closed his book and stood “I don’t know anything because you never told me. Ever since you came back, everything was a lie so don’t act like I have wronged you!”

Thor grit his jaw and glowered at him

“I asked you a thousand and one times to tell me what happened” Loki told him “I asked you every day and you lied! You lied and you kept lying to me for three months, Thor! Then you betrayed me. You betrayed me for him!”

“Because he made me!” Thor shouted “I did everything because I was forced, he – he turned me into a pawn, even now I am terrified, my instincts are telling me to go back! He had drilled himself into my skull, he is all I think about!”

“Is that so?” Loki challenged

“Yes” Thor hissed “If I told you…”

“Tell me now” Loki said “If not then, now. Speak to me, Thor. It is not too late, still.”

Thor scoffed “You think telling you will fix everything? I attacked your people, I killed the men I grew up with, Loki. A simple heart to heart doesn’t fix it, I have none, remember?”

Loki closed his eyes for a few seconds “You think you do not have a heart?”

Thor barked in laughter, turning away to pick up his tunic “Of course not.”

“Then why did you cry last night?”

The words froze Thor. He could feel it, the dread go through him and he stopped where he was, his hand reaching for his tunic. He hadn’t picked it up, he hadn’t a thought in his head, but he slowly looked at Loki, unsure of what he would find.

Judgement?

Mockery?

Laughter?

None of those were in Loki’s eyes, however, there was only a need to know. His green gaze was gentle, as he remembered it to be before.

He was extending peace to Thor and he expected Thor to take it this time.

The very last time.

Thor swallowed thickly and sighed “You heard it”

“I was in the same room, of course I did” Loki said “I am old, not that old, Thor”

The beginnings of something started inside Thor and he extended his hand to take his tunic. Loki watched him put it in and Thor took the time needed to compose himself.

“You wish to have the details or skip them?”

“Do the details bother you?” Loki asked

Thor smiled bitterly, looking at him “More than you will ever know”

“Then I will have them”

He stepped closer and for a second Thor thought he was coming to him, to hold him like he used to.

But Loki turned to sit on the couch, sinking into the old cushions and waited for Thor to speak. His arms were crossed and his gaze fixed on Thor’s face.

He was ready to listen.

All Thor had to do was speak.

And because of everything, it seemed to be so damn hard to do. He looked at Loki, at the ever patient pair of eyes locked on him and laughed, as though this was a joke.

“Really?” he scoffed

Loki didn’t speak and Thor swallowed thickly, his deceptive humour fading from him. Loki could swear then, that he saw Thor’s fear in his eyes. He could swear he saw that nineteen year old child brought to him so long ago and not the seasoned, fierce warrior who stood before him.

“You think a tete-a-tete is the best way to get around this?” Thor tried once more.

And just like before, Loki stayed silent, his eyes focused on Thor’s face, his stance stubborn. He was not going to say a word, Thor was. He was going to tell Loki everything that happened, everything Odin did from the moment he took Thor away to when Thor came back.

He was going to tell him.

Thor swallowed nervously and looked around, trying to take a breath. He knew he had to, but gods, it was so hard. It was so difficult to think about it, especially when he stood alone, surrounded only by his thoughts.

He longed to have Loki next to him, close to him but he knew it was not going to be possible.

Too much had happened, too much had been ruined.

So he took a deep breath and, despite the fact that Loki hated him, came to sit next to Loki. It was unwelcome, the gesture, just like he was, but Thor was selfish. He wouldn’t continue until he had Loki close to him.

So if Loki wanted to know, he would have to bear his presence.

He did not look at Loki as he spoke, he kept his gaze on the floor, but his voice was loud and clear for Loki to listen to.

“There was a room” he said “I didn’t know it existed, I doubt anyone other than Odin did…”

And his mind went back, probably for the final time, so he could explain what happened to him and why he betrayed Loki like he had.

***

_Thor grunted as he hit the floor, thrown in with little mercy. He immediately moved to his hands and knees, trying to get up, but groaned as his hands were knocked out from under him and he was pushed down with a heavy boot at his back._

_It pressed down and Thor hissed, wanting to get up._

_Odin’s staff stood by his head and he pushed, trying to get up._

_“It’s me” Thor whispered “Father, I swear to anything you wish me to, it’s me, that demon is no longer here, please…”_

_“I know”_

_That voice, that rumble that used to tell him stories when he was a child, froze Thor._

_“I have always known” Odin said “He was barely there, but he got me what I wanted. For a moment I feared the worst, but then…”_

_Thor stilled, his eyes wide and filled with shocked tears._

_“F-Father…?” he whimpered_

_“It will hurt” Odin told him, looking down at him “And it will hurt for a very long time, but in the end you will understand”_

_Thor wouldn’t, he was sure he would never understand and a shiver went through him when Odin moved his foot off his back and walked further into the room._

_“You had no real use, not to me” Odin spoke, walking onwards, as though sure Thor was not going to escape “But when I came to Jotunhiem to see you turned into a warrior, I finally found something to do with you.”_

_He didn’t turn back and Thor slowly sat up, looking at Odin’s back. His words sliced through him and he stared at him, unwilling to speak…_

_Either that, or he couldn’t_

_He looked behind him to where the door had been and found nothing but a solidly built wall. The door was gone – and it explained why Odin was so careless around him._

_He probably didn’t even perceive him a threat._

_Thor turned around and gasped, recoiling, when he saw Odin right in front of him, looking down at him. His staff was glowing dangerously, radiating heat that Thor knew boded ill._

_“You will attack Jotunhiem and bring her King down for me” Odin spoke, as though it was the most natural thing to say “Or this will not end”_

_Thor had only a moment to frown, and in that moment, Odin was gone._

_He thought that the rush he heard was from his own shock, at hearing the horrible order Odin had given him. But a second later, he was hit by something hard and unforgiving._

_Thor was thrown across the room, a painful yelp escaping him as he hit the opposite wall. How far he had been thrown, he didn’t know – it was pitch black in the room – but he felt wetness around his feet and realized that the room was filling up with water._

_Freezing water._

_Thor panted and looked around, trying to find a way out_

_“Father!” he called, desperately wishing this was a punishment to scare him “Father!?”_

_He would forgive Odin, he would do anything if he came back. The thought of Odin not coming back never occurred to him._

_He hissed as the water numbed his feet and walked forward blindly, trying to find the source and perhaps block it._

_The room was huge, Thor circled it once and the water was p to his neck. He was shaking, his skin felt like it was being sliced open because the water was so unbearably cold. He couldn’t breathe properly, and because there was not enough, he couldn’t swim and keep his head above the water._

_It was just the right amount to keep him tortured._

_Thor walked in it, drenched and trembling, choking and panicking._

_“Father!” he called once more, over the rush of the rapidly moving water._

_He choked as it reached his nose and tipped his head up, moving on his toes to make himself tall enough to breathe…_

_And the water stopped._

_It stopped filling and Thor’s heavy panting was the only thing that filled the room with noise. When he moved, looking around, hoping it was over, the water rippled, but that was it._

_No door opened and Odin didn’t come back._

_“Father?” Thor called, searching the darkness_

_He had to come back, he couldn’t leave him here._

_It was unfathomable. Thor wouldn’t believe it. It was a trick, it was a punishment, a cruel trick, anything. Odin was probably coming back, possibly with Balder or even Tyr – they would laugh at Thor, maybe even a little meanly and Thor would take it because …_

_The waters splashed in the distance._

_Thor froze. His heart was pounding as he realized there was something else in the water now. Something that most certainly wasn’t Odin._

_His lips, which were trembling, let out puffs of steam as he prayed, his eyes shut. He wanted to call Odin back but he was so scared that he wouldn’t come, that his hopes of this being a punishment would crash._

_He heard the water ripple again and moved very slowly, going to where he could feel the wall at his back. The darkness, the lack of breathing space and even sound was torture. It was like he was stuck in a comatose state._

_Thor swallowed thickly and a whisper of terror escaped his lips when he felt the water by his legs shift and it him._

_He shut his eyes as it came close and closer…_

_“Please…”_

_A second later he shouted, a short, loud shout, as something pulled him under the freezing water, fangs and claws wrapped digging into his skin_ …

Loki blinked, frowning when Thor suddenly stopped talking. His gaze was on the floor, his hands clasped loosely between his knees. He was still next to him, he hadn’t moved from there, and watched how disturbed Thor looked.

“What was it?” he asked softly

Thor shrugged “I don’t know. I didn’t know of anything that hit me, I can only imagine it, never be sure of it. When I think about it, from what it felt like, I assume it was one of those really frightening fish you once showed me a picture of. The ones with huge teeth coming out of their lower jaw, which is protruding outwards…”

He shook his head “But I don’t know what it was, even now”

Loki’s face was impassive, but hearing this, he was getting angrier and angrier.

Thor went silent, possibly because he thought Loki didn’t care.

“What happened next?” he asked eventually

Thor exhaled, wanting comfort but knowing that Loki would not touch him again. He deserved it, he deserved it all.

“Then…” he sighed “Then he drained the water and the real fun started…”

_The room was burning._

_It wasn’t on fire, but it was so hot, Thor could swear he was being cooked alive. He could not see anything, he could not hear and he couldn’t breathe. He stumbled on the burning floor, forced to walk around naked, his clothes felt like a shroud, making it impossible to think._

_Yet the temperature didn’t go down._

_The heat was unbearable, he hadn’t slept in days, he was sweating, his mouth and throat was dry and he felt like this was it._

_He was going to die like this, like he was a roast._

_He was unable to rest, he moved around the room, begging his father to come get him, begging him to help him._

_But he knew Odin’s conditions, he knew what Odin wanted him to do._

_And he wouldn’t_

_He tried to sleep but the floor, burned, he couldn’t all he could so was walk around till he came up against a burning wall, all he could do was pray this ended._

_He’d cried, he screamed and begged that someone hear him, but nothing._

_For days he had been this way, forced to walk around like he was in a dessert, desperate. He longed to feel that freezing water again, anything, any form of relief._

_He had wounds over him, from whatever that thing had been and he was sure they were infected. He couldn’t see them, but he felt the soreness, the swelling that indicated that he had a tender wound._

_The sweat and heat was not helping, Thor was sure he would die from the infection alone, it would be a reprieve._

_He stumbled and fell yet again, crying out as his taut back muscles pushed more pain into him. He fell into the heated floor, wanting to get back up but he was stuck._

_He was stuck, prostrating on the floor, crying in agony._

_Please!!_

_Please, this had to end, he was dying!_

_He was stark naked, being burned alive, he couldn’t take anymore. He just couldn’t. There was no air, nothing to help him and he tried to get back up again, but his overused legs and his cramped muscles forbade that as well._

_He was forced to lay on the floor, the burning floor, feeling like his skin was being melted._

_His head was throbbing badly, he was going to be sick, and he was going to throw up…_

_But before he could, his world turned black. Before he could think of anything, the world was blackened, more than it already was so he knew he had lost consciousness._

_He woke much later …_

_To water_

_It had him half submerged and Thor gasped, sitting up, hardly believing it. It fell off him, cool and crisp and Thor wasted no time._

_Like an animal, he dunked his head under and drank it, taking huge gulps, drinking it until he was so full, he couldn’t breathe or think, he sat back, panting heavily, his eyes were shut, he licked his parched lips and sat back, his hands propping his up._

_It was, for the moment, peaceful._

Loki hadn’t known there were tears settled in his eyes. He swallowed thickly and looked away, blinking and dislodging them, feeling them slip down his cheeks.

Thor was not looking at him and for that Loki was grateful. He would surely break if Thor gazed at him. His hands itched to touch Thor but he knew Thor would shove him off.

He’d done it before.

So Loki took a deep breath, wiped his eyes and cleared his throat

“Continue”

He knew it was going to get much, much worse.

Loki was not disappointed.

_The water was cold and Thor felt relief, sitting there, cooling down and feeling the heat around him fade, the torture slowly start to become a memory._

_The water was cool, not freezing, Thor found himself laying back, wanting to savour this for as long as he could._

_To his surprise, it lasted for a good while, he guessed it was around twelve hours._

_Twelve hours of comfort after three days of agony._

_Little did he know how much this would end up costing him._

_***_

_A whiplash woke him up._

_Not to his skin and flesh, no, it hit the water somewhere around him and Thor flinched back, yelping in shock._

_The water had receded so it barely wet the floor and Thor felt a sense of dread coil within him. He couldn’t take more burning, he couldn’t! It would kill him, surely._

_Yet it didn’t happen._

_The whiplash didn’t sound again and Thor started to wonder if he was finally going crazy and imagining it. Surely after so long he would have._

_But he waited, hoping to be proven wrong and calm his rapidly beating heart. He was already shaking._

_Thor had no idea how long he had been here. It seemed to be forever. His beard was growing out, his hair was unkempt and he was sure he looked like some sort of warg by now._

_Thrumming filled the room and Thor had only a second to blink before something sharp, thick and unforgiving rammed into his shoulder from behind._

_He _screamed_ in anguish as it came out from the other side, ripping flesh and skin and muscle and hooking under his collarbone. His hands went to it and he screamed louder when it started to pull_

_“No!” he begged “No, no!”_

_It would rip right through! It was going to rip him apart! Blood poured from the wound and Thor screamed as it pulled more and more until he was being lifted off the floor._

_The room was filled with tortured screams and the water beneath him started to light up._

_For the first time since he was thrown in here Thor was able to see._

_It was a dull blue, but he couldn’t be bothered, looking at his shoulder._

_It was a deadly looking hook, lifting him up as he thrashed and cried, holding on to it, trying to get it out but it wasn’t working._

_It wasn’t!_

_He was stark naked and strung up like a piece of meat and it wasn’t stopping!_

_“Please” he begged “Please!”_

_The pain! Gods, the pain was indescribable and Thor cried._

_Like a child, he wept, his sobs jolting him and making his injury worse._

_“Mother!” Thor screamed in desperation “Please, someone help me! Tyr! Balder!”_

_His voice, broken and shattered, high pitched because of his crying, echoed back to him. Nothing else._

_“Loki!” he begged “Loki, please stop this, please save me!”_

_His voice ended at a sob._

_“Please, someone get me out…” he whimpered_

_He hung his head, blood running down his body and into the dimply lit waters. He heard it, saw it and cried, wanting to give up._

_His blue eyes were tormented and he couldn’t breathe._

_His parched lips moved again._

_“Plea-“_

_Thor choked, a terrifying scream ripping from his throat when the hook dropped a few feet, jerking him so badly he thought he was dying._

_Then it pulled him back up, shaking his wound, making him howl in torment._

_“Father!” he shrieked_

_“What?”_

_Thor froze. His eyes were wide and he looked up, high up above to see a door open, light pouring in from there and the unmistakable figure of his father looking down at him._

_Thor was panting in agony “Let me out…please, I can’t stand it anymore, please! Let me go!”_

_He wanted to go home! He wanted Loki!_

_Odin sighed “You are a vain, greedy and cruel boy, you deserve this”_

_Thor shook his head “No! No, I am not, I am not cruel! I have done nothing, please, Father, why are you doing this!?”_

_“You know why” Odin told him “And till you agree to do as I ask I fear you will stay in here. Starved and in pain. I need a warrior, not a frightened child”_

_The door began to close_

_“No!” Thor screamed “Father, come back! Come back, please!”_

_Odin didn’t, Thor had to watch the door close and wept in despair, agony and torment as he was once more thrown around until he thought he would die._

_***_

_He didn’t know when he was thrown off the hook. Perhaps he managed to dislodge it but he fell. He fell and hit the hard floor under him with a smack._

_It no longer glowed but he didn’t care. He bled out where he was, laying there, face down, crying and begging for help._

_He would always suffer for hours on a daily basis. It didn’t stop. It was a ritual and he went through it for days, weeks, months and eventually, years._

_It was never the same, there was no pattern, nothing that Thor could resign himself to. It was horror, different, never ending and so harsh that it left him screaming._

_At first it was a constant, then Odin started a new torment, where he never sure when it would happen. Sometimes, he would light the room up so bright Thor would be unable to sleep for days. He would throw him into darkness then, then light once more. The duration was never something Thor could measure. He was never sure of what would happen, Odin took his certainty._

_For years…six years he cried and screamed and begged._

_He tried to kill himself when he was hooked up like a piece of meat. He tried to drown himself in the water, slam his head into the walls to kill himself, he tried agonizing ways of ending his life._

_It would be better._

_It would be better than this!_

_Odin saved him each time and kept him alive, kept him where he wanted._

_Thor became delusional, he screamed, scratched himself, hurt himself to try and figure out where reality was and when he was asleep._

_It was never certain, he was never sure of it. The ground he walked on sometimes didn’t seem real._

_Sometimes, he would wake up in bed with Loki and they would spend hours together. Thor became certain it was a dream and hold Loki, tell him what happened to him in the nightmares he had._

_Loki consoled him, told him he loved him and he took care of him. He sang to him, rubbed his back and made sure he was alright. He showed him Jotunhiem, told him he was back home and safe._

_He was bathed, washed, kept calm and Thor started to relax and breathe…_

_Until he held Loki._

_He held him in his arms and Loki faded, his world faded and Thor was left on his knees, screaming._

_Sometimes it lasted for days, sometimes weeks._

_It lasted for six months and after that Thor went catatonic._

_But the torture didn’t stop._

_It did not stop because Odin wanted him to suffer, he wanted to ruin his mind so he would break, he wanted to see his limit._

_But Thor took it all and refused to do what Odin asked. Odin got more and more frustrated and the punishments got harder, crueller._

_More inventive._

_Once he had woken to pain, he felt like his arms were itching and before he could raise a hand to help, they started to burn._

_Thor screamed as he felt his skin start to **boil** beneath his fingertips and he thrashed on the ground. It was everywhere, his entire body was burning and there was no water this time._

_It was on his arms, his back, his body, legs, his face and lips, blistering and boiling, blood and pus oozing from it, he felt it, he felt it all and he couldn’t see…_

“Enough!”

Thor blinked, surprised, when Loki suddenly stood, shutting him up. He was pale, paler than he had ever been and his hands were shaking. He ran them through his hair, taking a deep breath.

“Stop it, I can’t take any more” Loki told him

“You can’t take anymore?” Thor asked, getting to his feet “You just heard it, I went through it, Loki! You can’t take it!?”

“No, no, alright!?” Loki spun around, his eyes were shining “Stop telling me, I change my mind, I do not want to know!”

“That’s too bad because you have to!” Thor snapped, glaring at him “You asked for it, you wanted to know now listen to me!”

“No!” Loki stepped back, away from him, shaking his head “I am done, I will not hear another word from you, Thor!”

He was in shock, he’d reached his breaking point and Thor could see it. He could see how disturbed Loki was, in his pale face, his shining eyes and heard it in his shaking voice. His hands were not steady, he was truly disturbed.

And the way he watched him, the way Loki stared reminded him of the fact that he was in pain, too. He had suffered for Thor and Thor had suffered for Loki. The experience left them both traumatized and hearing it, listening to what happened was not helping.

“He kept doing it”

Loki shook his head and retreated “No. I said stop”

Thor didn’t listen and slowly followed him “Day and night, night and day. He didn’t feed me, he didn’t kill me. I drank the water he gave me, I survived on the barest, thrown at me like I was a dog”

“I don’t want to hear it” Loki told him, stepping backwards “Be quiet!”

“He dangled illusions of you before me” Thor said “Of you coming to stay with me, save me. Sometimes he made it so I believed it then snatched it from me. I was tricked, deceived, burned, killed, frozen, ripped apart and destroyed on a daily basis, Loki, it didn’t stop for six years, you think that can be silenced by a simple order for me to be quiet?”

“Shut up” Loki rasped, placing his hands over his ears “Shut up, I don’t want to know”

Thor walked him backwards until Loki felt the wall of their room behind him. He was trapped and Thor was not stopping. He stood before Loki and glared at him before he grabbed his wrists and pulled his hands down.

Loki gasped, looking at him, his eyes wide.

“He murdered me, skinned me, threw acid on my, tied me down and stabbed me, I asked him to stop and he never did!” Thor revealed, his voice rising with each word “You think asking to stop will work!? You think you control the world? That you say ‘stop’ once or twice and it does!?”

Loki flinched when Thor grabbed his arms and shook him

“Wake up!” Thor told him “Wake up, Loki, it’s never going to be like that! You will never have control over what is being done to you, never! He will keep doing it, he will keep breaking you and you will scream and cry and beg for mercy but nothing will ever happen! _No one will save you, gods damn it, where were you, Loki!?_ ”

And that was what it took.

Loki watched, shocked as Thor released him and fell to his knees, doubling over, holding his ribs and _screaming_.

The tendons protruded from his neck and he screamed in agony, as though still stuck in the horror and terror of that accursed room.

Thunder and lightning crashed outside, rain started to race from the skies and fall to the earth, hail slammed against the windows.

People ran for cover, shocked by the turn of weather and Loki was stunned into motionlessness for a few long moments. He didn’t know what to do but when thunder clapped and Thor’s screams got louder, he was pushed from his state of shock.

Without a word he crouched before Thor, putting his arms around him and holding him, cradling his head in his hand. The other was around his back, protecting him and he closed his eyes.

His lithe body started to grow warmer, it started to thrum with energy and Loki concentrated more. Thor’s scream was cut short, but his heart was pounding against his chest so hard even Loki felt it. The thunder and rain hadn’t stopped, Thor hadn’t moved from where he was and Loki hadn’t let go.

He grew warmer, the sensation slipping over Thor, just like Loki’s voice a few seconds later, singing the oldest song in Jotun literature, the sweetest lullaby from one lover to another, the promise of a lifetime, the story of the true love experienced by the very first Jotun pair to now, to Thor and Loki, whose lives were so tangled in rage and hurt that when he sang, it seemed like a miracle had settled upon them.

Thor, who was panicking, stopped, his breathing seemed to vanish when he heard these words. He heard them for the first time in so long that it brought tears into his eyes. He’d heard this before. He’d heard it.

He could imagine her singing it to him, his mother. Sitting by his bed and wiping his tears. He cried every night back then and she sat there, singing and promising him these words.

Thor became slack jawed, he knew Loki sang it to him when Loki thought him asleep. He knew when their marriage was alright that this would not be the end. He felt safe with these words.

_“You still have …_

_All of me….”_

Thor knew the next words, he knew them by heart because Loki crafted them for him

_“I held your hands through all of these years…”_

His hand at the back of his head, his arm around his shoulder and his body, growing so warm.

This spell, Thor recognized this too. Loki had learned it so long ago, when Thor had foolishly run away and nearly frozen to death. At times when the weather was too cold or when they went hunting, Loki would hold him like this, he would think of the spell and warm him up so Thor felt comfortable and safe. He wrapped his arms around him, held him close and whispered his love to him.

He swore it to him.

And norns damn him and his blind fate …

He’d ruined it all.

He had destroyed it all!

***

Thor didn’t think he could move.

He truly didn’t. His arms were still around him, Loki was still in his lap and the storm outside had subsided.

The storm within him, however, needed more. Much more.

He could hear crying and he wondered why Loki had even bothered. But a moment later he realized it was his own voice, it he who was crying, not Loki. His eyes hurt, his throat hurt and it was him, hurting all over.

He grit his teeth so Loki wouldn’t hear him and think he was weaker than he already was. He was probably going to enjoy his suffering he’d said so himself.

He sniffed and felt Loki slacken his grip. Thor immediately looked to the side not wanting him to see his tear stained face. He was ashamed.

But he needn’t have bothered.

Loki pulled away from him and stood, brushing down his tunic and loose trousers before he gave Thor his back. He wiped his face discreetly and brushed his hair back, not looking at Thor. Crossing his arms at the waist, he held his elbows just so his hands wouldn’t go back and wipe more of his tears. He eyes were fixed on the wall, watching absolutely nothing.

Behind him, Thor composed himself the best he could and Loki waited.

He waited until Thor was well enough to stand before looking over his shoulder, looking at the floor rather than Thor.

“What made you break?” he asked, his voice soft.

It was like he was afraid to speak for fear of his much it was shaking.

Thor looked at him, at his averted gaze and shrugged helplessly.

“He told me” Thor said “He wanted me to wage war on your land. I had lost my mind by then, I didn’t even think it was true. I thought it was an illusion. He’d carried one for six months, I thought this was another. I had Mjolnir in my hand once more, it had to be a dream. That’s what I thought … it was when you attacked me and I touched you for the first time that I realized you were real. I pulled you back but you ran away and then Helblindi came at me”

Loki remembered that. He’d been pregnant then.

He had run from him like the demons of hel herself were after him.

“The battle was at its heaviest, I could do nothing” Thor said “I tried, I went back after I fought Helblindi but my father caught me.”

He ran a hand through his hair.

“That is why … why I –“

“Why you went along with it” Loki spoke for him “You had Mjolnir, you…”

He shook his head

“You’re lying to me” he said “For three months you touched me, you lived with me, slept with me. How could you think it was not real?”

“The battle was the first time I touched you without meaning to” Thor explained “If - if I touched you voluntarily you stayed. In all my illusions you vanished when I touched you without thinking about it… I didn’t think then, I didn’t mean to”

Loki scoffed “You’re lying”

Thor’s lips tightened

“You seduced me, I had sex with you while you were lying, tricked me, lied about loving me”

“No!” Thor protested “No, I never lied about that”

Loki gave a bitter bark of laughter “Oh, right”

“It’s true” Thor took a step closer.

Like a snake, Loki spun around and took a defensive pose, his hands clenched, ready to use as he glared at Thor.

“Do not come near me” he hissed “Don’t touch me”

Thor inclined his jaw.

“I never lied about loving you” Thor said “I confessed my love to you, I was happy to return to you. I thought I was living in an illusion why would I lie?”

“To make me believe you” Loki said “To trick me, stun me, turn me so stupid that I could never have thought about what you did… Norns, I remember it so well. I remember everything that happened that night. I saw how happy you were in the prior days and then…”

Thor looked at him, saw his eyes shining again

“Then you killed my kingdom…”

***

_Loki had been outside, playing with the children. The snow was crisp and fresh, there was laughter and joy in the air._

_Helblindi’s children, the twins were in their twelfth year and their youngest was seven. Thrym’s lovely child, shy and attached to Loki was named Njal. He was six years old and a permanent fixture with Loki to the point where he was often taken to Council Meetings when the King went in._

_Loki loved the babe as much as Njal loved him._

_And the fact that his Dam was now raising him ‘alone’ made it easier._

_Loki would have despaired about what happened to Thyrm, it was terrible. But he knew something else happened the day Jarnsaxa was found out._

_Laufey had told Loki something was happening. He told him that one day he’d caught Thrym snooping around in his cabinets, looking for something for bruises. Then he told him he saw him looking dazed, a bruise under his eye._

_He had told Laufey he slipped on the ice and two of Jarnsaxa’s friends took him to the healers. Then he vanished, he stopped coming to the palace._

_Laufey had taken Loki with him to Thrym’s home…_

_And frozen at what he’d seen._

_Thrym was on the floor, cowering as Jarnsaxa beat him, hit him, kicked him – while he was pregnant._

_Laufey had not thought twice. He’d broken the door with one kick and ran in. Jarnsaxa had looked up and paled when his King lunged at him, taking him down._

_Thrym was bleeding and he looked up, flinching back when Loki approached_

_“It’s alright” Loki showed him his hands “You’ll be alright”_

_His face had been bleeding, cut and bruised, he was crying. Loki pulled him close and held him as Laufey chased Jarnsaxa away._

_He would have killed him but he knew Thrym needed his help. He dropped the knife he’d held in his hands and went to where Thrym sat on the floor._

_Loki pulled away and Laufey had looked down at Thrym_

_“Norns” he cupped Thrym’s cheek “What … why didn’t you ever tell me?”_

_Thrym’s lower lip trembled and he sniffed “H-He threatened me… and ….”_

_Loki stroked his head and Thrym lowered his face into his hands, ashamed. Laufey clicked his tongue softly, slowly moving to scoop him up into his arms._

_Loki was impressed. For his age, Laufey had the strength and power of a man half his age. He easily lifted Thrym and held him close. Thrym’s brown eyes looked into his, his hands curled to his chest._

_He was scared and Laufey looked at him sadly._

_“Don’t be afraid” he said “I’m not angry”_

_Loki felt his lips curve into a smile when he kissed Thrym’s forehead and carried him out, leaving Loki to follow._

_“Have Jarnsaxa thrown in the dungeons” Laufey told Loki “That is where he belongs”_

_A few weeks later, Thrym gave birth and named his child after the one name no one but Farbauti had called the King._

_Njal._

_And if possible it made Laufey fall more in love with him than before._

_Loki saw it and no matter how hard they two of them tried to deny it, almost everyone in the kingdom knew it._

_Laufey and Thrym were finally a couple._

_Finally!_

_Loki would have danced for joy. And he might have, just to annoy his father._

_It was joy and happiness that settled over the realm._

_They were all aware of the lingering sadness in Loki, because he missed his husband, his Thor. But they knew that one day he would be back and Loki would be happy again._

_They didn’t know that day was today, as Loki played with Njal in the snow and ice, pretending that his broken heart was whole._

_***_

_A flash of light illuminated the skies, then a sonic boom erupted from around them._

_The children gasped in awe and Loki looked up, freezing when he realized it was the light from the bi frost._

_It rained down upon his realm, upon the spot a few yards away from them, burning into the snow, melting it before it formed a mark on the ground below, a large rune, symbolic of only one thing._

_Loki felt himself gasp, his mouth part softly as he saw a figure standing between the beam of light and Jotunhiem. He was standing there, his silhouette bigger than Loki had thought it would be._

_Thor_

_His Thor._

_The light suddenly stopped, the resulting steam and smoke rising from around Thor as the man stood there. His hammer was in his hand, a dark armour upon him and a blood red cape placed upon him like a banner._

_His golden hair was long, he was a man, a full grown man now, his blue eyes shining as he looked around and focused on the one person who stood out amongst the rest._

_His hammer dropped to his feet and he smiled, his eyes crinkling at the sides as he saw Loki. His Loki, standing there._

_Loki couldn’t move, not for the first few seconds. His heart was pounding too loudly in his chest. He had dreamed of this day for six years. He had never thought of what would happen if it came true._

_How would he react?_

_What was he to do?_

_It was only when Thor took a step forward that Loki moved._

_He walked, then jogged before he full on ran to where Thor was, leaping at him. Thor caught him, wrapped his thick, huge arms around him and held him close, burying his face in Loki’s neck._

_“Stars…” Thor breathed “I have you”_

_Loki held him tightly, kissing his hair, his head over and over again._

_He was back._

_His Thor was back!_

_***_

_There was a feast, of course. A glorious celebration for the soon to Second King in Jotunhiem._

_There was drink, dancing and revelry. There was music, cheering and toasts given to the son of Odin, who relayed tales of how he was saved and cured by his illness._

_He was no longer blind, no longer in danger._

_He was back._

_Loki was beside him, matching him cup for cup in his drinking, smashing kegs to the ground, cheering._

_Helblindi had his special form of celebration for Thor, leaving Loki and everyone cackling as, in the middle of the feast, he had a space cleared on the floor. Thor had a moment to remember before Helblindi hauled him up on his shoulders and carried him to the floor._

_To anyone foreign to Jotunhiem it was a fight to them, it was a dance, a ritual where one Jotun welcomed back another from war. It was filled with music and power._

_The second Helblindi unceremoniously dropped Thor to the floor, both men started the strange custom._

_The closest an Asgardian could come to describing the dance was a spar – yet it was not. It was beautiful, graceful and powerful. The Jotun army celebrated it with a dance of war, both warriors taking their positions opposite each other. The soft music was exchanged for drums, thumping with every movement made by Thor and Helblindi._

_They looked like they were dodging punches and hits, but they were synchronized, stopping right before it hit the other, spinning into the air with a flair of cape and cloaks._

_Their arms swung together, their bodies leapt up, crouched, lunged and performed graceful kicks. Helblindi led and Thor followed, having been trained in this well._

_Where the steps started slowly, they increased, making it hard for Thor to mimic and making their audience cheer._

_Loki hooted and whistled, cheering Thor on as the younger man got faster and faster, spinning, dancing, leaping into the air. He jumped when Helblindi slashed beneath him to take out his feet, then fell to the floor, eager to do the same. Both men were good and swung out, thrust, parried, lunged and finally…_

_Loki used his fingers to whistle loudly when Thor won, Helblindi missing his step and leaving him the winner. The Jotuns cheered and shouted, excited screams filled the room, ale was dumped on Thor._

_Loki doubled over in laughter then yelped when two soldiers picked him up and carried him to deposit before Thor. There was more cheers as Thor pushed his wet hair out of his eyes and gave Loki a blinding smile. He looked behind Loki and the latter knew._

_He squeezed his eyes shut then screeched loudly as another barrel of mead was emptied over him, dousing him completely. Helblindi laughed, slapped his leg as Loki looked at him through damp black hair. Grinning, Loki pushed it back and shook his head before he looked at Thor. The younger man pulled him close and everyone hooted and called out to them as the two lovers kissed before everyone._

_They had been reunited after so long, the occasion was nothing but joyous._

_Of course Laufey had to order them to take a bath before they froze and though everyone whined and griped, they knew the husbands wanted to have time to themselves to unwind._

_‘Unwind’ Laufey had chuckled. They would probably unwind the way he and Thrym did nearly every night._

_Norns above, he could swear he’s pulled a muscle after what Thrym did to him last night. It was terrifying and erotic at the same time._

_And as Thor and Loki left, Laufey wondered if Thrym would be up for it tonight as well._

_***_

_“I have ale where it should never be”_

_Loki, who was sitting before his dresser and running a brush through his wet hair laughed._

_He was in a green silk robe, preparing for bed with his freshly returned husband. He was so eager, so excited to sleep with something other than a pillow that he felt ashamed of how lonely he’d been._

_Thor had mattered so much to him._

_He finished brushing his hair and reached down to open his jar of cream to apply on his hands and face. He’d gotten it imported from Vanahiem, it was one of the best. His skin was soft and supple, no wrinkles or lines appeared._

_Not that Loki was vain, he just didn’t like the thought of being forty one years old. He could have sworn time flew past him._

_Before he knew it he would be dying his hair and whatnot._

_He knew Laufey was in his seventies and looked in his twenties, but Loki’s obsession with his age was personal. He knew he would stay young for a very long time yet he couldn’t help it._

_He’d heard himself be called a ‘lecher’ for marrying a man eleven years younger than him. And though usually these things didn’t bother him, it stayed with him, the insult._

_He rubbed the cream on his neck, his arms and smiled when he saw Thor walk out. The man had a towel around his waist, his stunning, muscled body in display. It was sinful to look at and Loki felt himself stir as he looked at it._

_He stared at him openly as Thor walked over to the bed, parting the drapes, running his hand over them. He was barefoot and as he faced the bed and parted the curtains, Loki saw he was just as attractive from the side. The curve of his spine was delicious and his round rear had Loki breathing just a little heavier._

_He looked away when Thor faced him and twisted the cap of his cream on the bottle, taking a few deep breaths before putting it back._

_He had to calm down._

_He needed to._

_He didn’t want to look up until he was and that was his plan until he felt something warm and hard at his back._

_Loki looked up sharply and saw Thor right behind him, his eyes locked with Loki’s in the mirror. He was taller than him, only by a few inches, but right now he seemed to overtake him._

_Slowly, like he was hypnotizing Loki, Thor raised a hand and placed it on Loki’s shoulder. Loki shut his eyes, shuddering as Thor slowly, carefully, lowered the collar of his robe, exposing his pale shoulder. He bit his lip, turning his head towards Thor’s hand, his breath hissing past his teeth as Thor kissed his skin._

_Loki couldn’t help but gasp._

_So long he’d spent without behind touched like this. So many lonely nights he spent with himself, not one glimpse of his Thor._

_He recalled when he was desperate and had his hand between his legs, pleasuring himself as he thought of Thor, called his name. He wanted him, he had needed him and now…_

_Now Thor was back._

_Thor’s other hand came to rest on Loki’s belly and the Crowned Prince let out a soft whisper, a caress over Thor._

_He wanted him._

_Thor’s hand slipped lower and he tugged at the tie at Loki’s waist._

_Loki’s hands came to rest over Thor’s but they didn’t stop him as he opened his robe. Another flick of his hand and Loki’s covering slipped off him, pooling at his feet._

_Thor stood back then, taking the time to admire Loki’s body. He hadn’t seen it in so long, Thor wanted to savour it. He bit his lip as he looked at Loki, a beautiful blend of beauty and masculinity, standing before him. Every curve, every turn of Loki’s body was enticing, better than Thor had ever thought. It was glowing, Thor was sure of it and when Loki looked at him over his shoulder, his eyes sultry and inviting, Thor could wait no longer._

_He wanted to taste, he wanted to mark._

_His skin was soft under his hands when Thor finally grasped him by his arms, turning him to face him, looking into his eyes for just a moment._

_Loki wanted him, just like Thor craved him and he brought their lips together in a kiss filled with their passion._

_Loki immediately put his arms around Thor’s neck and Thor’s hands went to his rear, cupping and squeezing him until Loki panted loudly into his mouth. He moaned, his throaty, beautiful voice was like a balm over Thor and he picked him up, carried him to the dresser and sat him down, his legs around his waist._

_Their lips never separated and Loki skated his hands down Thor’s body, pulling the towel off and tossing it aside before he wrapped his fingers around Thor._

_Thor groaned, hissed in pleasure, biting Loki’s lip and giving it a teasing pull. Loki laughed huskily and stroked Thor, moving his hand over him to get him hard._

_They both knew it would be far from the romantic lovemaking they had taken part in before. This would be hurried, full of need and desire._

_Loki was getting slick just thinking about it and he conjured sweet oil on the palm he had around Thor, revelling in the moan that escaped the beautiful prince. Thor rut into his hand and Loki obliged, panting against his lips, then giving in and biting his neck._

_Thor’s hands were at his waist and Loki yelped as he was pulled up then turned around to face the dresser. He landed on his hands and arched back against Thor, hissing in pleasure as Thor slowly pushed him down till his chest touched the surface, knocking down everything._

_His legs Thor kicked apart and Loki let out a pitiful moan when Thor nudged his entrance. He wanted him inside, he couldn’t wait!_

_His nails raked the surface of the dressing table and Loki keened loudly as Thor pushed in, his pleasure mounting and making his head spin._

_It was frantic, rushed and desperate. Both of them wanted release, both of them missed each other far too much to be gentle in the first go._

_Loki bit his lip and moaned loudly as Thor pushed into him, skin to skin, parting him slowly as he went in deep, holding his hips in a bruising grip. He bent over Loki, kissing his back, pressing him down and bit his skin, nipping him, panting into his ear._

_Whining in ecstasy Loki arched his neck, his eyes shut as Thor began to move. He moaned and cried, pushing back when Thor thrust into him._

_He wanted_

_And he took_

_He took from Thor all night, that night, at the dresser, then in bed, on his hands and knees, moaning as Thor pushed into his slick channel and used his hand to make Loki climax over and over. He needed this, he wanted it and all night Thor gave him what he needed._

_He crashed on the bed, panting heavily the final time, his body trembling in the aftermath of mind blowing sex._

_He could scarcely speak, he could hardly move and when he looked at Thor, he found him smiling down at him as he lay on Loki’s side, observing his handy work._

_Handy and other parts of his body work…_

_Raisin a hand, he cupped Loki’s cheek, turning his head enough to look at him. The flush in his cheeks was still there, he still looked vulnerable and utterly exhausted._

_But so happy._

_So damn happy._

_If this was real, Thor would have told Loki about his plan, about what he came here to do. But this was an illusion and Odin wanted to play a game with him._

_So, Thor would and eventually he would wake up back in that dark cell and wait for the day he would finally breathe his last._

Thor remembered that night and he looked at Loki, knowing he remembered it too. By the tense line of his back he knew that night Thor had taken more from Loki than just his love. He had taken his life, his everything. He had betrayed him in the worst way possible.

Thor _had_ seduced him, with words, with actions.

But to his mind, it had been something else, it had been an illusion and as such there had been little consequence.

He was already suffering at Odin’s hand. His mind was wrecked, it still was and he swallowed thickly before he took a step towards Loki.

Immediately, Loki’s head shot up and he moved away from him, storming to the door.

“Loki, wait…” Thor called

Loki didn’t

He walked out, slamming the door behind him, rushing down the halls.

Thor had told him tales all day of what happened to him and Loki had told him his.

That night and every night after, Loki had begged Thor to tell him what was wrong; something was. Thor was not the same, there had been fear in his eyes, there had been terror.

Even when he was happy, Loki saw it, rare moments when Thor thought no one was looking, turning his head aside so his true face would show. The façade would drop and Loki would note uncertainty, terror and torment.

He remembered that night well, the night everything went to hell, Loki remembered it.

_Thor had been very silent. True, as the days passed that became his natural state, but tonight… the entire day, really, Loki noted how withdrawn Thor had become._

_He looked like he was in the harshest throes of stress, he hadn’t eaten all day, he hadn’t replied much to others._

_He feared he was ill but he looked fit, there was no fever when Loki checked but Thor had complained of a headache, skipped dinner and went to bed. The others had only been able to watch, asking Loki and finding no answer._

_Loki’s biggest fear was that Thor wanted to go back to Asgard._

_And he didn’t think he would be able to take Thor leaving him. He meant far too much and three months was not enough time for the Jotun._

_He wanted to spend his life with him, not lose him._

_Yet Loki feared he was. He did everything he could think of , he bought Thor presents, he was romantic, caring, he served him, took care of his every need, spoiled him, told him repeatedly he loved him._

_Then when that didn’t work, he begged him. He begged Thor to tell him what was wrong, he begged!_

_Thor said everything was fine – it would pass._

_Loki didn’t know what the hell Thor expected after that cryptic remark but that was all he gave Loki._

_Loki couldn’t get it out of his head. He couldn’t breathe, he needed to know what was wrong._

_And he wanted to fix it._

_When Loki bade everyone goodnight and went to Thor, he saw him staring out of the window, a small pocket watch in his hand, as though he was counting the seconds. His lips were moving and he was looking at the horizon._

_Loki didn’t know what was bothering him, but the thought weighed heavily on his heart as he walked behind Thor, gently wrapping his arms around him._

_“My love” he whispered, kissing his shoulder “What is wrong? You’re scaring me”_

_Thor’s entire body was tense and he was looking at the horizon, as though awaiting something. It was like the last moments were here and Thor was about to see something come to fruition._

_“It will be over soon”_

_His rumbling voice made Loki tense and for the first time, the very first time, he realized that something was not wrong with Thor._

_Thor was wrong._

_The way he stood, the way his hand was clenched around…_

_…around Mjolnir._

_Loki felt his heart start to race and he looked at Thor slowly, stepping away from him, a hand around his throat._

_“Thor, what have you done?”_

_Thor turned to face him then, an omen of death. Loki swore that was all he was._

_“I did what was asked of me”_

_Thunder and lightning crashed above them and a second later Loki saw the bifrost shoot down upon their planet, upon their realm, ready to desecrate it…._

Loki tore through the doors of the small tavern they were in, running out.

Into the snow, ice and hail, he ran, wanting to breathe, wanting to feel something other than the crippling pain in his chest. He couldn’t breathe, he couldn’t think and as he fled, going towards the thick trees growing haphazardly from the snow, he realized he couldn’t think.

Nothing was working in his head.

Nothing was working in his heart.

All he wanted was to run, run as fast as he could and eventually find his way back home. He wanted his bed, his furs, he wanted his son…

His beautiful Ari, he just wanted him back.

He didn’t care about anything else, he didn’t care about revenge, about anger and hate.

He was tired.

He just wanted to sleep, perhaps for days, and wake up to realize this was a dream. That this entire nightmare was nothing but that.

A night mare.

A horrible, never ending might mare that he lived through.

And he would wake up to Thor and his beautiful blue eyes, his smile, his arms waiting for Loki, not this pain, this agony, this utter torment that was…

Something crunched behind him and Loki spun around, his eyes going wide when he saw nothing. He could see the inn, the trees, snow, landscape.

Nothing else.

His heart was pounding in his chest and he took a deep breath to calm himself.

If Thor came after him, Loki would tell him to leave. He might have pulled him away from that bear, he might have saved him but right now he didn’t want anything to do with him.

He wanted him away, he wanted to be alone!

He heard a footstep and turned around, spinning in time to receive a wet spray to his face.

Loki had no time to see who it was or comprehend what had happened.

The spray was a toxin and Loki groaned as his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell back, losing consciousness.

His assailant quickly grabbed him, scooping him into his arms before Loki hit the ground.

He turned, his red hair waving in the wind, as he looked at the inn.

No one seemed to have seen him and he doubted that they would have done anything to stop the Crowned Prince of Asgard.

So Tyr held Loki firmly, carrying him to where his horse was so he could take him back to Odin.


	20. Chapter 20

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And things start looking up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote it, then I lost it and I wrote it again! Hopefully my life will get better xD

It was gone

The entire camp was gone.

His blue eyes were wide and he stared, panting heavily, looking around him, at the evidence before him, yet his mind could not believe it.

His heart was pounding yet it could not settle upon it the magnitude of what he had lost. It was right before him, right there.

But he could not comprehend it.

The places where the stakes were driven into the ground, the places where the fire pits had been dug were still there, the make shift cooking pits, the stables, everything left traces.

The ground, forever dead, was dusted with flecks of snow, a remark on how late he was.

They must have been gone for two days at least. They must have laughed at him, too, especially Tyr.

The man was probably laughing now, thinking about how he made him dance to his tune, made him a fool.

And took the one thing that mattered most to him.

Loki

He was gone, too.

Thor was ashamed.

Ashamed of letting it get so damn late. The moment Loki didn’t come back, Thor should have gone to search, instead he waited, thinking he would come back and when he didn’t …

Well, this is what came of it.

Fog formed whenever he breathed and he looked around one last time, hoping this was some sort of trick, something that didn’t make the fear in his heart real.

The fear that his father had won

The fear that Loki was in Asgard.

His hand tightened on the shaft of his weapon and Thor looked to the skies.

To go Asgard and get him back would be a declaration of war. To leave Loki be would be another betrayal.

Thor knew he had to pick a side. He knew he had to stay loyal to only one person.

The problem was that he had to figure out if he was going to let love or fear run his heart.

Odin would likely throw him back in that room if Thor was caught. Loki would never see or speak to him again.

His heart was torn in both directions and he sighed, closing his eyes and letting his chapped lips tighten before he opened his eyes.

His gaze was to the skies and Thor knew his decision.

He knew what he would have to do once he got to Asgard.

“Hiemdall” he called “Bring me to Asgard”

For a few seconds nothing happened, Thor thought he’d gone unheard.

Then the skies twirled above him and Thor closed his eyes as he was pulled up to the bi frost.

***

They still cat called and mocked him.

Loki had long since decided to let them do as they pleased, confronting them only made them feel more encouraged, drove them on and made their calls more vulgar.

Loki almost rolled his eyes at the predictability of these uncultured men. Aesir were truly terrible people.

As he sat there, sulking, the thick doors leading to the cells thud open loudly, the sound reverberating through the entire hall. The inmates all silenced, slowly, one by one, as they saw who entered and Loki felt his heartbeat race.

Whoever it was, was powerful and there was only one man who was strong enough and powerful enough to get that reaction from criminals.

He stood, slowly, and turned to face the shield that kept him locked in, gritting his jaw as the King of Asgard came forth.

His crown was atop his head and Loki raised a brow him, not letting any of the surprise he felt belay him.

“It suits you ill” he commented “Like it’s built for a head far greater than yours”

Tyr huffed at him and shook his head “And here I thought giving you a cell of your own you would make you a little grateful”

“Grateful?” Loki asked, smiling “And what for? Kidnapping me? Trapping me in here, lying to me?”

“I have not lied to you” Tyr said immediately

“Then why not set me free?” Loki asked “Clearly you have the power with you, clearly you are strong enough. Why keep me locked here?”

“I have told you why” Tyr said “You just refuse to understand it”

“Ah, of course” Loki beamed “For my own safety, aye? Held behind these shields as a desperate effort to save me, how quaint. I should be flattered that the King of Asgard deems me worthy”

Tyr grit his jaw “You have no idea what I face, what I am protecting you from. Had you known, you….”

“Then why not tell me?” Loki challenged, his voice dropping low in challenge “Why not reveal the plan of the great Odin Borson?”

The moment that name was uttered, the two guards beside Tyr tensed and everyone who wasn’t listening to their conversation leaned closer, went even more silent, paid even more attention.

Loki was somewhat proud of the effect and Tyr was not.

“You know why” Tyr rumbled, his voice low “If I told you, it would be treason of the highest sort. I would be damned as King”

“And of course, being King is the only thing that matters to you” Loki mocked

Tyr scoffed in return “Yes, there is nothing higher”

Loki narrowed his eyes for a moment before he crossed his arms over his chest, cocking his hip to the side. He watched his opponent carefully for a while before he exhaled.

“You are hiding something from me” Loki said bluntly “something other than this secret plan you have going on. What is it?”

Tyr grit his jaw for a second and looked at the guards that kept watch on Loki’s cell. He was aware of them, aware of the inmates behind him, aware of his own spirit, slowly being ripped apart by guilt.

He sighed softly and looked at Loki before he ordered the cell to open so he was allowed entrance into it. The guards were dismissed and Loki raised a brow as the King himself walked in to talk to him.

Tyr was of a lesser build than Thor but no less intimidating. His cold blue eyes held little sympathy for his enemies and Loki resisted the urge to step back when Tyr walked to stand right before him.

It was King against King right now, both standing, looking at each other.

Tyr heard the cell door close behind him and looked at Loki.

“I cannot tell you everything” Tyr said “We are at war and though I dislike the term, you are my enemy. Against my vows as King, I cannot reveal to you the plan that my father has.”

Loki understood that, at least and nodded a little

“What can you tell me then?” he asked, keeping his voice low “Clearly you have something on your mind”

Tyr nodded and looked at a spot somewhere behind Loki, at the pale white wall of his spacious cell.

“Odin… my father” he whispered “came to my camp a few days after Thor departed with you. I should have known that news of your presence and consequent departure would reach him. Though I was glad he found out after you left, there was something I did not anticipate, something that he did that I can still not believe”

Loki frowned at him “What are you talking about?”

If this was some sort of trap, Loki was going to kill Tyr, he honestly was.

“I cannot say it here” Tyr said “Again, it would be looked upon as treason but … if you allow me to take you with me, I will show you”

Loki laughed then, a loud bark of bitterness “Of course, if I ‘let’ you. I am your prisoner, Tyr, do whatever you want. Your acting skills are remarkable, I have to commend you on that. For a second, I actually…”

“He’s hurt Balder” Tyr cut in, his voice soft but firm “he hurled a spell at him, froze him where he stood. He told me to bring you to the camp and he would free him. When I did, he refused, using his state against me. If I do not obey he will not free him. He told me to throw you in the cells until he had need of you, but so far all he has done is crown me and vanish into his chambers.”

Loki stared at him, a frown on his face, his mouth parted

“Loki, I know you hate me and I do not blame you” Tyr said “But Balder…I love him, he’s my brother. I have to help him”

Loki closed his mouth and looked at him, contemplating

“If you fear this is a trick” Tyr said “Know that I have not taken your magic from you. I could have, but I didn’t. I need it, I need …. I need you to help him so we can form a plan to stop whatever my father has planned.”

Watching him, Loki saw desperation in his eyes and he swallowed “If this is a trick by you and Thor…”

“Thor doesn’t know what happened to Balder” Tyr said “He is in my room, I can’t have Thor find out. He would have come for you but I think Father is watching him. Loki, you … you have to help us”

His lips were tightened and he glared at the man who destroyed his kingdom

“On one condition” Loki said

Tyr nodded “Anything”

“Give me the Casket back” Loki said “And help up rebuild what you and Thor destroyed”

He hesitated, of course he did. He had destroyed a Kingdom, taken lives, lost his own men. If he gave the Casket, it would be considered to be betrayal, he would be trialled and hung…

Tyr closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thinking.

“I can’t give it to you” he said, looking at Loki “But…”

Loki, who had opened his mouth to argue, stopped, looking at him

“I can take you to it” Tyr said “So you can steal it when you want, however, Loki…”

Loki blinked when Tyr took his hands in his, taking his full attention.

“Keep Thor with you” Tyr said, a hint of fright in his voice “Please. He is much safer there than he is here, please take him with you and leave before he gets here.”

That brought a frown on Loki’s face. Tyr was King, if he couldn’t protect Thor then how could Loki? The ruled of a defeated world…

“Tyr, he …”

“You need to listen to me” Tyr stepped closer, making Loki blink “Take him away from here. Please, I ask you not as a King but as a brother…take him from here. If my father finds out he’s betrayed him, I do not know what he will do. Please …”

Loki wanted to say no, things were not right between him and Thor, but somehow, he ended up nodding

“If this is a trick….”

“Then I will set my head on the table for you to behead” Tyr swore

Loki’s jaw was tight and Tyr could see him working things out. He could see him look at the pitfalls, so damn many of them.

“Listen” Tyr said softly “Thor knows you are gone. Chances are that he is on his way here. He gets here and Odin gets his hands on him, it will not end well. You are on limited time. I am making you a deal, take it.”

Once more Loki hesitated and Tyr looked at him, desperate. He needed help and he looked like it.

However, if this was a ploy, Loki was probably going to be done for.

“Alright” Loki whispered, looking at him “It might not be wise but I am trusting you. If you are trying to fool me, know that it will not work and I will come back for my revenge”

“I believe you” Tyr said, stepping back

He looked over his shoulder at the guards and nodded

“Now these two are loyal to me”

Loki thought he recognized them. He’d invited them once to Thor’s birthday, aye…

“At your service, my lord” Fandral bowed, smiling at Loki despite the situation

Volstagg came over with a cloak.

“Take him to my chambers” Tyr told them, watching as Loki put the cloak on “Loki, hide you face at all times. Fix Balder then do what you need to”

He gave him a meaningful look and Loki, who was pulling his hood up, nodded.

“Take what you need and leave Asgard until it is safe” Tyr commanded “I will tell you when the time is right.”

Once more, Loki nodded. He was grateful but he didn’t thank him.

Tyr didn’t expect him to and let Loki be escorted out of the cell, to be taken through smaller, narrower passages, designed for the prison servants, so that they would not be caught.

But they had barely stepped out of the cell when they saw a familiar face running towards them.

Stunning and beautiful as the night, Lady Sif came to a stop before her King and bowed

“My Lord” she panted, looking up at him “Thor just arrived…he’s gone to the Imperial Chambers”

Loki could have sworn that he didn’t think things were so dire until he saw the colour drain from Tyr’s face and his expression turn to horror.

***

He should have known, in hind sight, that this would happen.

Not even in hindsight, really, he should have known this would happen. The moment that beam was set on him, Thor should have known that his day was about to get a thousand times worse.

He should have known that the second he landed he would be charged with treason.

He should have known that he would be cuffed, his armour ripped off him and thrown aside

He should have known that his status as a traitor was sealed long before he got here.

He should have known, as he was dragged through the streets, as he was pelted with rotten food, as he was shoved and pushed…

He should have known.

And he should have run away

But fool that he was, he couldn’t and sat in his room, his impersonal, stupid room, with his back torn and slashed by a whip.

It still bled and he sat on a small footstool, no servant wanting to help him, wetting a towel and running it over the skin and flesh that has been slashed open. Blood dripped down his back in sick pink droplets, refusing to stop as it pumped out from the lines that marked him.

Traitor

Spare Son

Sinner

All his crimes were chanted as he was tied to the post and flogged.

Odin has watched of course he had. He sat atop his horse and watched, ordered him to be flogged, ordered rotten fruits and mud and rocks to be hurled at him.

A just king, they believed, ready to punish his own son, they said.

What lies…

What utter nonsense.

Odin had ordered it for his humiliation, for his own sick amusement. He wanted Thor humiliated and he wanted to see it.

And he did, he enjoyed it, Thor saw the joy on his face.

He’d seen it until the moment a guard came to Odin and whispered something that had him leave. That left Thor for the people, for the guards, for the hundred lashes he deserved to get for letting the Jotun escape and bring the death of their Alfhiem viceroy.

He’d taken it well and then brought to the Imperial Chambers for his next punishment.

Beaten, by a wretched staff until he bled, hit on the back, on his wounds, the back of his legs.

They held welts now, bright red and purple against his skin. Thor had fought and won a war and didn’t receive marks like these.

On his day home, he was given no honour, nothing other than humiliation and defeat.

And isolation…

He sat alone, not fed or watered, no one cared for a traitor. No one wanted him.

Thor closed his eyes when he felt prickling in his lids, his own realization hitting upon his head.

No one wanted him…

Since he was born, he was told this. No one wanted to be near him, no one wanted to play with him. He’d thought he was imagining it, but he wasn’t.

No one bothered to ask why he’d cried as a child, no one came to him when he was hurt. No one bought him presents, no one gave him love…

During the war, no one sat to eat with him. No one asked him if he wanted a drink, nothing.

He was a prince and they left him be, sitting alone in his tent, all by himself, watching the other seat before him.

He’d talked to himself, sometimes.

When he was alone, pretended he wasn’t Thor.

He pretended he was someone else, someone worthy. Someone who was liked…

It didn’t work

And now, years later, having lost everyone in his life, he realized it.

No one wanted him.

He was alone in this room and he was alone in the world.

His eyes filled up with tears slowly and he looked at the large balcony doors, the thin drapes moving in the wind.

His mother wanted him.

She was the only one, then Loki… now he had no one.

Thor was a strong man, he took everything that hit him, but today… Today he was a young man, lost and alone.

He was lost…

Thor moved to sit fully on the stool, not caring if it stretched the skin at his back and pulled on his wounds. He set his feet on it, pulling his knees to his chest and held them there. He rested his jaw on his crossed arms, rocking himself slowly, giving in to the pain.

He rocked himself, alone, sitting on a stupid footstool, broken, hurt, shattered and so damn lost, he could do nothing!

His lower lip trembled and he shut his eyes, feeling two thick tears slip down his cheeks, down a bruise that decorated one of them, then splash on his arms.

He was still holding the towel, so when a few long moments later, a cool cloth was placed on his back, Thor startled.

He gasped and turned, almost falling off the footstool to see who cared enough to be here.

When he saw, he could hardly believe it.

Pale hands, soft as snow, hair as black as coal and eyes so bright Thor only saw that shade in emeralds, Loki sat behind him, pressing a compress to him.

Thor was so shocked he couldn’t say a word, he watched, his eyes wide, as Loki looked right back at him, one hand pressing the cool compress against his wounds, the other resting on the edge of the stool.

He saw him then, his husband… the one brought to him so scared and forlorn… Loki saw him. He saw him nestled deep behind the fears and strength that Thor was now, looking at him, pleading him without words to help.

The Jotun licked his lips and looked at Thor, at the bruise on his swollen cheek, at the marks on his body…

What had become of his darling?

What had become of his beautiful Thor?

Loki saw it for the first time, his throat closing when he realized it.

He’d been tortured so much and so long, he was almost gone.

A sob broke the air and for a second, Loki thought it was him. He thought his control slipped until he saw what was before him.

Pressing the back of a hand against his lips to muffle his cries, Thor’s face was crumpled in pain, his eyes glistening with tears as he sat there, looking at Loki, looking at his saviour but unable to say a word to him.

His own actions, the acts of a desperate victim, prevented it.

Loki saw his desire to come to his arms, to the only safety to him and he saw him lean back, like he wasn’t deserving.

His green eyes glistened with tears and he shook his head

“No, no, Thor, no…” he pleaded

He set the cloth down and moved closer, his arms pulling Thor to him.

He resisted…the hurt, stupid, idiot brute resisted and Loki’s heart wept for him as he pulled him close, wrapped his arms around him.

But Thor pulled away, looking away until Loki grabbed his shoulders firmly.

“Stop fighting me!” Loki shook him, looking into his hurt eyes “Stop it, just stop it!”

Thor looked at him, his face red as he cried soundlessly, biting the back of his hand to keep from making noise.

Yet it escaped him.

A loud, pitiful whine escaped him and his chest shook as he let loose a series of broken sobs before Loki pulled him close.

He wrapped his arms around him and held him to his chest, cradling his head as he sat beside him.

It took forever, to Loki it seemed that way, for Thor’s arms to come around him. They wrapped around his waist like they should and Loki buried his face in Thor’s hair, holding him close as Thor wept.

He wept into Loki’s clothes, his hands clenching as though he was drowning. His voice rose from gentle noises to full blown crying and Loki couldn’t keep his eyes dry.

He cried with him.

He held him, his held his Thor, his hurt, wounded, desperate Thor to him and he didn’t want to let go.

He was never going to let him go.

***

Thor flinched when cool, long fingers touched the mark on his cheek, gently spreading balm over it.

He smelled the cooling herbs inside it and raised his reddened, swollen eyes to Loki’s.

His healer.

Thor was cleaned and bandaged, washed and brushed until he looked as best he could. The marks would fade with time, the pain would no doubt linger.

Loki had tried his best to fix them, but the claw marks and the lash marks together were a hard thing to heal.

Thor was weakened and Loki needed to fix it.

Because he didn’t want to be discovered, he’s asked Tyr to bring food for Thor. The man was hungry, Loki could tell, but saying nothing in some sort of self-inflicted punishment.

It was brought over by the King himself, who didn’t look at Thor for too long. He knew things were off between them and didn’t want to ruin it.

Loki had said nothing and continued to heal Thor, not stopping his work for a second. He was dedicated to it and after he fixed his legs and back, he tended to the bruise on his cheek.

Thor’s healing balm would likely fix it and Loki applied a thin layer before he pulled away, going to wash his hands.

He’d sat Thor on the bed, wanting him to feel strong enough to make a journey to Jotunhiem, so he has dedicated a few hours to rest.

Thor sat, covered in his tunic, his legs crossed, sitting like he did when they were together. When he got sick, he sat with his back hunched and pouted, much like he was doing now.

Loki saw it but he didn’t comment in it, adorable as it was.

He simply went to wash his hands before he came back. The tray of food was on Thor’s table along with water, utensils and goblets.

Loki pulled up a smaller table from the side, setting it by the bed, signalling that Thor was going to eat whether he wanted to or not. Thor watched him, watched the tired look in his eyes, the worry and anxiety resting in every part of him.

He kept glancing around, making sure they were unseen and Thor moved over obligingly when Loki set the tray down and sat opposite him.

He looked at how he lifted the cloches and set them aside, putting in rice and stewed meat into a bowl for Thor. He even added a little extra meat for him, knowing Thor liked it.

Thor had fully expected Loki to hand it to him, but he was surprised, relief, love and a thousand other sentiments flooded his chest when Loki forked up a bite and blew on it to cool it. He held it out to Thor, looking into his eyes, waiting for him to take it.

This was no trick and Thor craned his neck a little, leaning over to take it.

The answering smile on Loki’s face was worth it and Thor knew that nothing and no one else mattered as much as Loki did.

He’d been a fool to think otherwise.

He swallowed and Loki gave him more, putting aside his own hunger to feed him.

It killed Thor and gave him life at the same time.

Thor swallowed and looked at Loki, who was waiting with another forked up bite ready. Thor opened his mouth and let him give it to him, like he was cherished, but slowly, hesitantly, he reached out for Loki.

If Loki was surprised, he didn’t let it show, he let Thor pull him into his arms and let him seat him on his lap, looking into his eyes.

Loki pretended he was not affected but Thor felt his heart start to race, he felt his breathing accelerate, too.

So he set his head on Loki’s shoulder and let his Jotun husband feed him until everything was gone.

Loki had his fill, too, the two of them not saying a word as they ate, polishing off the entire platter together. Afterwards, Loki leaned against him, wiping the left over stew with his finger and letting Thor lick it off.

It was childish, it was sweet and to Thor it was therapeutic.

After even that was gone, they stayed together, Thor leaning back against the headboard, Loki half laying on him.

Both of them were lost in their thoughts for a long time before Thor eventually spoke up.

“You didn’t have to do that” he said, his voice soft enough not to shatter their peace.

“Hmm?” Loki asked, almost asleep

“Taking care of me” Thor explained, putting his arm around Loki more firmly, playing with his hair “After what I did…”

“After what I saw” Loki said, wiggling until he was perfectly fitted against him “I would have to be a monster to let you go”

Thor frowned at that, looking at him “What did you see?”

His heart started racing – if Loki witnessed his flogging, Thor would never be able to handle it.

“The marks” Loki said, his voice drifting off as he started to sleep “On your body, the new ones… the ones that could have been prevented”

Thor could feel the relief pour from him and Loki felt his body relax.

His breathing started to even and Thor frowned when he realized Loki really intended to fall asleep on him.

“You, uh…” he cleared his throat “Want me to sleep elsewhere?”

Loki shook his head “No, this is fine, unless you want to, I will not stop you…just throw me to the floor when I’m asleep”

Thor felt mirth bubble inside him and smiled, just a little

“I don’t mind this” he said

“Then shut up and rest” Loki told him “We have a long journey ahead of us”

Ah yes, Jotunhiem.

Another humiliation Thor would have to face, another trial he would have to go through.

The hate of his people would no doubt be sharp and Thor would take it, he had little choice in it. He didn’t like it, but it was his home, his place of peace.

He should never have left it but circumstances were not in is favour, not for a very long time. Tonight, he thought that tonight, things would change for him and that he would be allowed to have something good in his otherwise meaningless life.

It meant he would be in the arms of someone he loved…

And, if he was lucky, he would hold his son for the first time in his life.

His heart started to pound in excitement and for a few minutes he wanted to do nothing other than run and leap into the bi frost so he could meet his son.

His Ari

He would never forget the name.

Loki shifted next to him and Thor slowly, carefully moved enough to slid down so that the two of them were face to face.

He raised a hand and brushed Loki’s hair back, his eyes going to the bruise on Loki’s eye.

It was still there and as Loki had his eye closed, he could see it properly.

Pain flit through him at the thought of what he had done and he leaned over and gently kissed it, feeling Loki’s lashes flutter against his lips. When he pulled back, Loki was looking at him and the Jotun smiled, reaching over to touch Thor’s jaw, stroke it with his thumb.

“You remember the bear that took you down?” Loki asked softly

“I can hardly forget, it was three days ago” Thor chuckled, turning his head to kiss his palm

“I let it attack you for a few seconds because I was petty” Loki whispered “Before it left those marks on you, I let you fight it…”

Thor furrowed his brow a little, his mouth parting in surprise

“So please don’t feel guilty, we are even” Loki said

Thor exhaled softly and nodded “I’m still sorry”

“I know you are, dear” Loki said “I’m sorry, too…for not seeing it sooner. I should have guessed there was more to you than what I saw”

“To be fair, I didn’t act … very nicely, I didn’t help my cause” Thor said “I tricked you”

“I know” Loki said “To escape your father, I know… the man is a monster”

“He is” Thor agreed softly “I don’t know why we have not been brought to him yet, he no doubt knows you are here”

“Alas, that will change soon” Loki said “If he knows and is not acting then he is arrogant and that never pays off”

He rubbed Thor’s lips and sighed

“We will vanish” Loki whispered “And go far away, no one will see us”

“Or find us” Thor added “After everyone will already know, of course”

Loki looked at him, frowning “What do you mean?”

“The safe houses” Thor held Loki’s hand in his own “don’t tell me age robbed you of memory, they are enchanted never to be found except…”

“Except true jotuns, I know” Loki cut in gently, chuckling “Thor, I am not taking you to the safe houses…you think I would take you there? No, I would not do that so soon, they – they need to be softened”

Thor smiled gently “Then what is this plan, old man?”

“The old man…” Loki growled “Will not tell you now”

Thor grinned as Loki turned and gave him his back, pretending he was upset.

“Really?” Thor laughed softly, placing a hand on his shoulder “the old man is angry?”

“Yes” Loki huffed “The old man is”

“Ah,” Thor said, rubbing Loki’s arm “The grumpy old man, this one is”

He grunted, laughing, when Loki kicked his shin

“Ah, damn old man, you broke it!” Thor curled up, rubbing his shin “Gods above, you hit like a younger man!”

Loki snickered and pulled a pillow close “Let me sleep. Then I will take you home”

Thor hissed, rubbing his shin and pushed Loki with his foot, making him laugh softly. He stopped after a few seconds, then moved and pasted himself to Loki’s back. He kissed his head and closed his eyes.

“Where are you taking me then?” Thor asked after a while

“Good night, Thor”

Thor placed a hand on Loki’s head as blessing “Good night, Loki”

A few seconds later, Thor closed the drapes around the bed and covered them both in darkness so they could sleep on enemy land.

***

_His shoulder was ripped once more, torn and bleeding._

_There was a hole in it, causing his blood to pump out, still. Thor had thought hours ago that this was it, that this was finally the end and that he was going to die._

_His torture would be over._

_But it didn’t happen._

_Instead he was forced to live, the blood loss doing nothing to end his life. It was just a factor in his existence now, where he was hit with blood, infection and agony. The area around the wound was sick, infested with an infection and Thor had to bear it._

_The darkness would never let him know how bad his state truly was, with was just another factor in this entire game._

_He had only the ability to guess what it looked like. Sometimes, he touched it when he was brave enough._

_It was horrible._

_He was sitting on the floor, just – sitting._

_No life, no rest or sleep. No relief._

_There was nothing for him to do other than take what was being thrown at him and he sighed, trying to think of a time he saw something other than the dark._

_He thought back on Loki._

_What he must look like now?_

_Safe and happy, away from all this…_

_He often wondered if he moved on. He had to have, Thor was here for years._

_Loki would have found someone else, someone worthy of his love, of his caring heart and soul._

_Who was Thor anyway? A burden? A poor helpless child Loki took in?_

_That was it._

_Maybe Thor fooled himself into thinking he was more, he wasn’t._

_He really wasn’t._

_He was nothing and no one, destined to be here._

_His blood and his infection were the only things that were written in his fate._

_There was nothing else for him._

_Nothing._

_So, when the door opened once more, years after it had previously, Thor looked at the light that fell on him, at the figure that tormented him._

_And just … agreed_

***

The bed shook and before Loki could find out the reason why, he was being shaken

“Wake up!” Thor whispered, his voice came to Loki’s ears full of urgency “Loki, wake up, we have to leave!”

Loki looked at him and sat up, confused for a second.

“Odin is right outside” Thor said “Hide, you have to hide!”

Loki wasted not a second. He was fully awake and leapt out of bed, leaping out of bed to run to the wardrobe.

He knew it was childish, but for the moment there was little else he could do. He let Thor close the door after him and then went silent, listening to everything that was going on.

Thor took a deep breath and listened.

Odin had not knocked on his door yet, but Thor had slipped out of bed to get some water when he heard his voice outside. He knew that Odin never paid much attention to him, he knew that he was beaten and whipped, Odin wanted nothing else.

So why was he here?

There had to be only one reason and Thor hid him.

He knew it was futile, if Odin really came for Loki, Thor would fight to the death but it would do little good.

His father had his mind set on Loki, on killing him, hurting him, whatever he intended. And if Thor knew one thing – it was that Odin was a master as getting what he wanted.

He could hear him, talking to the guards, his voice coming closer and closer. Thor felt his heart start to beat faster when, amid the talking and the footsteps that seemed to be a death knoll, there was silence.

Even the guards were not speaking, it was so silent, so still.

Thor could feel apprehension climb up his back as shadows moved outside. He saw it from under his door, he felt them come closer…

“What has you so tense?”

Thor gasped and spun around, his eyes widening when he saw Odin right there – he was right behind him.

Fear jumped up his throat and choked him, making him wonder what punishment awaited him next, making him wonder what torture he had in mind.

Gods above, if he was thrown into that room, Thor would truly die this time

“Father” he said softly “What – Why are you here?”

He wanted his voice to be a little stronger, but it lacked it – the strength needed to stand up to this monster.

Odin smiled when he heard the catch in his voice, the hitch in his breath. He knew the boy was hiding that Jotun but for the life of him, his magic could not detect him.

“You know we had a deal, didn’t you?” Odin asked, slowly moving to the table that held mead for Thor.

Thor’s eyes watched him carefully, wanting to keep him in sights at all time.

“You were supposed to give me the Jotun and then become King” Odin picked up a glass and poured himself some mead “It was really a perfect plan, honestly, until you decided to go completely noble and betray me”

Odin looked at him and Thor grit his jaw

“You tortured me for years and talk about nobility?” Thor asked, his voice still shaking “Tell me what you desire and leave”

“What I desire?” Odin looked at him, then took his drink

The silence grated on Thor and he waited

“I want to know” Odin said “ _How the hell that Jotun is hiding from Hiemdall!”_

Thor ducked when Odin spun, yelling and hurling the glass at his head. It hit the wall and crashed, breaking into a thousand pieces. The mead slipped down the wall but Odin ignored it, striding over to Thor.

Thor backed away but Odin was faster, angrier and Loki gasped inside his safe zone when he heard Thor choke.

“We had an agreement” Odin snarled, his hand around Thor’s throat, lifting him up “Where is the Jotun?”

Thor, who knew Odin was using magic to give himself more power, gasped, trying to get him off. His feet were above the ground and he looked at him

“I’ll never tell” he hissed

Odin growled and squeezed harder. Thor felt his windpipe being crushed, felt his lungs strain inside his chest.

“Then you are of no use to me” Odin hissed

He was going to kill him, he really was.

A yell sounded from the side and Odin turned to see Loki blast him with magic, throwing him aside. Thor fell to the floor, gasping and panting for breath and Loki ran to him.

“Get up” he pleaded “Come on, we have to go!”

Odin groaned and looked up, stilling when he saw Loki. A frightening smile curved his lips and he stood

“There you are…”

Loki pulled on Thor’s arm but the man wasn’t moving and he glared at Odin

“Stay back” he straightened, his hands glowing “I will fight you”

“He couldn’t take me down” Odin walked over Thor, gesturing to him “How can you? Let me make a deal with you, clearly you are smarter than Thor”

Loki retreated for every step Odin took, trying to focus his thoughts enough to cast a spell, just one.

His eyes went to Thor, who was slowly coming to and Odin smiled

“Worried over a traitor?” he mocked “You know he is not worth it. He is neither faithful nor trustworthy, how do you know he won’t betray you again?”

Loki didn’t dignify that with an answer – he struck.

He hurled a fire spell at Odin, his hands glowing red when he did so. He fully expected the man to duck so he could go to Thor but the man only waved a hand, disintegrating them in mid air.

Loki watched, his eyes wide, as his spells vanished and he tried to go for more. But his time was up.

A loud cry escaped Loki when Odin hurled magic at him, dark and cruel, watching him hit the wall behind him before he slid to the floor.

The old King went to him, grabbed his hair to make him look up, exposing his throat.

Loki panted heavily, his eyes on a dagger that materialized in Odin’s hand. Odin started to whisper, bringing the dagger to Loki’s throat.

He was ready for this possession…

Loki fought him, whining when he held his head in place and placed the dagger at his throat, ready to slice it open.

A metallic hum broke into his spell and he turned, going pale when he saw Mjolnir sail through the air and into Thor’s hand.

Lightning and thunder crashed outside, power dancing over Thor as he sat up and then got to his feet, striding to them

“You will not touch him!” Thor yelled, advancing on his father.

He swung out with his hammer and Odin lost his spell, trying to shield himself. He managed halfway, Mjolnir hit the side of his head and Odin sailed back, dazed rather than killed.

Thor pulled Loki up and vaulted over the bed, running to the balcony. He had his arm around Loki and he tightened it when he heard Odin’s yell of rage.

“Get back here!!” Odin screamed in anger

It terrified Thor and he wasted not a moment, keeping his hold on Loki tight, he called forth the power of his beloved hammer and flew into the skies, leaving Odin, Tyr, Asgard and his life behind him.

***

Jotunhiem was cold.

Colder, because the two of them were utterly terrified. Both of them were clinging to the other and panting heavily, trying to find a way to understand what had just happened.

Behind them, the portal Loki had opened closed in shades of old, keeping them safe in the land of ice. There was no sound, nothing, it was silent as the stars themselves and other than them, nothing was moving.

Thor was shivering and though it was freezing, Loki knew it wasn’t from the cold. Thor was terrified, scared out of his mind.

He didn’t have the proper clothes for the weather here and his lips were turning blue rapidly. Loki was cold, too. But he was used to this climate and he moved closer, putting his arms around Thor.

“Fly us” he said softly “Guide us to the mountains above the Black Forest. I have a home there, we will be fine, go”

Thor nodded, his teeth chattering as he lifted his hammer again.

He prepared to fly and stood, shivering, on the ice, lifting Mjolnir high above him. He spun her around, holding Loki close and once more took to the skies.

The ground beneath them faded to sky, to clouds and stars as Loki guided him, whispering in his ear to stay calm and weather the cold for a little while longer.

Just a little while longer.

So Thor listened to him, let the snow, ice and cutting wind hurt him as he flew faster and faster, the world a blur around him, until he saw what Loki was pointing to.

A house, bigger than a cottage and made of beautiful crystal and sleek wood. It stood on a large mountain and he dove towards it, noting that the lights were on inside.

Someone was already there.

His heart would have jolted had Loki not taken his hand and led him forwards, rubbing it to keep his circulation going.

He had help here, he knew they would be safe.

The snow crunched beneath their feet and Loki pulled Thor close, standing before the door and knocking rapidly, urgently.

There was the sound of running and the door opened.

Thor blinked when he saw a Jotun he had never seen before, standing there, opening the door wider for Loki when the King snapped at him for being too slow.

“M-Majesty” he said “That’s…”

“I know who it is” Loki said, leading Thor in

He had an arm around Thor’s waist and steadied him, taking him to the fire place. They crouched on the rug together and the Jotun watched Loki coo and fuss over Thor, letting him sit as close to the fire as he wanted.

“Asper” Loki said, looking at the Jotun “Get me a rug. Do you have enough food for us?”

Asper rushed to get a thick rug and handed it to Loki before he nodded

“Aye, a fresh batch of supplies was delivered yesterday” Asper said “What do you need?”

“Hot broth” Loki said “Quickly, if you can, please”

Thor was still shaking and Loki rubbed his back and arms, trying to get him warm. His green eyes were worried and he brushed his hair back, gently making lay down, facing the fire. He had his head in Loki’s lap and Loki brushed his hair back, whispering to him constantly, telling him everything was going to be alright.

But Thor knew that there was little chance in that.

Loki had brought him here, not to the safe houses.

Which meant that Loki knew things would not be good, that there would be much said against him and the fact that he was here.

Yet, that dire thought did little to hurt Thor. He was in the arms of his beloved and Loki smiled gently when Thor turned around, wrapping one thick arm around his waist and hiding his face in his middle.

Loki massaged his shoulder gently and sat there, comforting and warming him until Asper brought over the broth. There were two bowls and Loki looked at his servant

“Asper” he said “Bring yours, too. I cannot let you eat alone”

Asper shrugged “Been eating alone for a while, my lord”

Loki rolled his eyes “Stop being dramatic and sit with us. You knew there was a hint if solitude to be expected when you accepted this mission”

“Aye, of course, house watching is a serious mission” Asper teased lightly

“Oh, get moving, you over dramatic fool!”

Asper chuckled, bowed his head and went to get his bowl. He sat with them and Loki nudged Thor a little.

“Wake up” he said “Your lunch awaits”

Thor groaned and looked up at Loki. He looked, by all means, like a pup. His hair was ruffled and his blue eyes reflected the fire.

He even had that pouty look reserved for pups.

“I am not feeding you” Loki pinched his cheek “get up”

“Fine, you tyrant” Thor rumbled, the first thing he said after being brought here.

He sat up and brushed his hair back, smiling and nodding to Asper.

“I don’t believe we met” Thor said “But thank you, for not hating me as much as you should”

Asper shrugged “King says I must not, so I trust him. We had this planned for a while, me and him, but I didn’t think it would ever come to fruition”

Loki smirked “Aye, you just sat here and fed yourself upon the food that as delivered to you”

“Aye, and danced about in the silks you gave me” Asper said

Thor smiled, laughing softly as he reached for a bowl “You two are close. You worked at the palace?”

“Aye, for two days” Asper said “then the King sent me here, told me to watch and guard this house with my life. He said one day he will need it and since I was the only one who enjoyed solitude more than others, I agreed. I like this, been fed more than I have ever been, I do what I will and now I am blessed”

Thor hummed and stirred the broth, then took a sip.

It was not much, but to him, it was as though he was having a feast. It was warm, it was home and he leaned against Loki, who was talking to Asper.

Thor wasn’t listening much until he heard that name.

Ari

He looked at them sharply, frowning

“What?”

Loki faced him and smiled gently, placing a hand on his knee “Yes, he will be here the moment Asper goes to the safe houses. Halvor will accompany him back here – he will have Ari and we will stay here.”

“But …”

“And he will also give my father this” Loki cut in

He placed his bowl down and pressed his fingertips together, then quickly parted them.

Both Thor and Asper stared when the Casket appeared between Loki’s hands and he held it tight. Of course he was smiling, a little pomp didn’t hurt anyone, he was proud of this trick.

“Majesty, how…?”

“How did you get this?” Thor whispered “It – It was locked up in the Vault. No one but the Royal Family could get in”

“Tyr gave it to me” Loki made it vanish again “As a thank you for – for helping him”

Tyr had made Loki swear not to tell Thor about Balder, about how he nearly died and how hard Loki had worked to save him.

“He is as tired of Odin as you are” Loki told his husband “Things will get better now, I swear on it”

He leaned over and kissed the corner of Thor’s mouth to placate him and Asper politely looked away.

Thor wanted to kiss Loki properly, but he knew he had to wait. Asper was here and there was much to discuss between them.

Starting with his home.

“Is this place safe?” he asked Loki eventually.

Asper had gone to get rid of their used bowls and start on dinner, leaving Loki and Thor alone. The home was not too big and not too small. It was perfect, like a holiday home and Thor wanted to explore it.

However he wanted to know if they were safe here or would be forced to flee it again

“You remember how Odin couldn’t see me?” Loki asked, standing and extending a hand for Thor’s “I put a spell on myself”

Thor grunted as he stood, keeping the rug around him

“You can do that?”

“I can” Loki said “this home and the safe houses are hidden from Odin and from Hiemdall himself. They will not be able to find us. They won’t be able to see Asper go from here to the safe houses and back. They are blind and as such, powerless.”

He saw uncertainty in Thor’s eyes and sighed

“Darling,” Loki said, cupping his cheek “He will not get you. I swear on this, he will not get his hands on you again”

It surprised Thor, still, how Loki knew his exact fear. He was afraid of his father, afraid of him finding him and doing what he had done. The man had taken him away, turned him into a mindless drone and let him destroy his own home.

He was capable of anything and Thor genuinely feared him.

Loki moved away from him to stoke the fore a little, then pointed to the side

“The rooms are upstairs, come along” Loki once more extended his hand and Thor held on

He felt like he did when he was first brought here – scared, small and alone. And Loki was just as strong as last time, taking care of him without a single word of protest.

Which was why, the moment they were at the top of the stairs, Thor pulled Loki back against him, wrapping his arms around his waist and held him tightly.

If Loki was surprised, he didn’t show it. He pat Thor’s hands and moved forward, not caring if he was hindered.

The room Loki took him was large and as a consequence, it was cold. Thor pressed closer to Loki, making him snicker as he went to light the fireplace.

Everything was painted a dull gold a few minutes later and then Loki took his charming weight to shut the door.

“You know,” Loki spoke “I believe there is a large coat in the closet. Wear it and you will be warm. I will heat some water up for you so you can bathe. Rest until dinner is ready, love, you deserve it”

This time when Loki moved, Thor let him go and went to the bed in the large chambers. It was covered with furs and so deliciously tempting that Thor kicked off his shoes and got in, rug and all, to curl on the side.

Loki, who was getting him a coat, turned to look at him and smiled.

“You are a child, I hope you know that”

“I know” Thor said softly, looking at him “But you still love me”

There was a hint of questioning at the end of the question and Loki raised his eyes to Thor, seeing fear there.

Still there, even after Loki had worked so hard to keep it away.

“Aye” Loki walked over, leaving the closet door open behind him “I do”

He sat on the bed and looked down at Thor. Lifting a hand, he ran it through his hair, stroked his cheek and made sure Thor knew he was there for him. Now and forever.

“Sleep” he said softly “I’ll be here, sugar”

“Sugar?” Thor immediately picked up on it “Is that my new name?”

“You like honey?” Loki teased softly “Buttercup? Sweetpea?”

Thor laughed softly, his body shaking with it “You are going senile”

“I am” Loki agreed, leaning close to kiss his cheek “And you are tired. Go to sleep. I will be here when you wake, ready with food and water for your bath, hm?”

It was tempting, it really was, but Thor feared it would mean Loki left him. He didn’t say it, however, and nodded.

“Alright”

“Good” Loki ran his fingers through Thor’s hair “Just sleep. I will read by the fire so you are not alone”

At that, Thor took Loki’s hand in his and brought it to his lips to kiss his palm.

“Thank you” Thor said “For – For everything”

He hadn’t the courage to look Loki _directly_ in the eye, but he managed to look somewhere around his head.

Thor knew his sins would not be washed away and that if Loki was tricking him, leading him into a trap, he would have no way to save himself.

And he would willingly go into it, even if it led to his death.

But Loki’s hand tightened around his and the King brought it to his lips, looking at his young lover.

“You do not have to thank me, my darling” Loki told him “I should have saved you sooner”

“I should not need saving” Thor countered “The fact that I was weak and stupid should not have happened”

“Everyone stumbles, Thor” Loki said “You stumbled far, but in the end you have your balance”

He reached over and grabbed his chin gently, making Thor look at him

“You made a mistake” Loki told him “And yes, people will be angry at you, perhaps for a long time. But in the end, time will make it fade off and you will have a kingdom to run, with me beside you. Do not think I will leave you”

“You should” Thor said softly “I am not worth it”

“You are worth much more” Loki replied “You are my darling, my beautiful Thor. You are worth the sky and stars themselves.”

He smiled softly

“You are worth so much that the star fell from the heavens and right into your palm” Loki told him “No one has that honour”

He brushed Thor’s hair back and kissed his cheek when Thor said nothing

“Now sleep, my love” he said “I will be here for you”

Thor nodded and let Loki stand and go to the fire, as he said.

His words repeated themselves over and over in his head but Thor didn’t really believe them

Loki was saying this purely to make him feel better.

And though it was something that Thor appreciated, he was also realistic about it. Loki might have changed his mind about him

But no one else on Jotunhiem would.

No one would.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Do comment, they mean the world to me


	21. Chapter 21

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things start to unravel - oh, and babies

He woke to the smells of cinnamon and a sound he didn’t think was possible.

A high pitched, squeal - and a giggle.

His blue eyes flew open and he lay there, not breathing, for fear that this was a dream. It had to be, it wasn’t real. He hadn’t just heard a baby laugh.

It was not possible.

The furs over him moved slowly as he barely breathed, trying to tell himself to wait, see if it happened again.

And as he lay there, he debated in his mind, that it couldn’t have happened, it wasn’t possible. He was dreaming, he was surely dreaming. Yet, his heart rate was only increasing and he heard no other sound other than beating in his heart as he lay on the bed, on Loki’s bed, covered in furs, on his front.

Later on, he would remember every detail of his moment.

He would remember how the evening moon had turned the room a sweet, soothing blue and how a sliver of light snuck into the room through a part in the drapes. He would remember how the duvet beneath the furs was warm on Loki’s side despite the fact that he had woken up a while ago. He would remember how the fire was dimming, leaving only the dullest rust half circle on the floor close to it. Also, he would recall the large bed, the furniture painted by the blue that came from outside, he would remember it all.

But most of all, he would remember the way his heart stopped, simply stopped, when the door to the room opened and that childish coo hit his ears.

Thor gasped loudly and shot up, levering over the bed on his hands for a second before he turned facing the door, his eyes wide.

Loki stood by the door, smiling, holding him.

Right there, before Thor

Ari.

His son

The babe was three months old and looked exactly like Thor. He even had those big blue eyes, that blonde tuft of hair Loki was currently smoothing off his forehead. He was swathed in a warm one piece suit and Loki had a fur he wrapped around him, holding him to his chest. The baby had his eyes fixed on the man frozen on the bed and took his fist out of his mouth to give Thor a toothless, wet grin.

Thor’s mouth was parted in shock, his eyes held tears and he shoved his covers off, uncaring where they went and stood, looking at the baby.

His baby.

His Ari.

Loki held Ari firmer and walked to Thor, looking at the Sire of his child.

The two of them looked equally stunned and when Loki stopped before Thor, the prince was unable to move.

He saw him swallow thickly and his hands reached out, hesitant, afraid that Loki would take Ari away.

Yet he didn’t.

Loki let Thor take his time and he gently took a hold of his son for the very first time.

Ari cooed loudly, looking up at him, watching him with an intensity that already marked him intelligent. His senseless noises were like a balm, healing Thor’s heart, Loki could see it.

He let Thor lift the babe from his arms and watched Thor be careful of the furs around the boy, before he held him up, looking into his face.

Ari blinked big blue eyes at him, looking at his father before he laughed, kicking excitedly in his grip.

“Ari…” Thor choked

Ari looked at him, understanding, at least, his tone of voice. He reached out and placed a hand on Thor’s nose, then rubbed it across his cheeks.

Thor’s tears slipped from his eyes and he pulled Ari to him, setting him on his shoulder, holding him in his large hands.

Immediately, the baby started to mouth against his neck and Thor shut his eyes tightly, not bothering to hide his emotion.

Loki felt it in his own body, that was how strong it was and he moved closer, wrapping his arms around his husband.

Bag full of emotion, really, Loki smiled, kissing Thor’s cheek.

Thor inhaled, stuttered and broken before he looked at Ari again

“He’s so beautiful” he whispered, his throat clogged at the moment “He’s so perfect”

Ari turned his head to look at the source of the voice, then at Loki, giving him a smile. He set his head on Thor’s shoulder, his tiny hands opening and closing against him.

“Oh gods, I never thought…” Thor said, unbelievably moved

“Well, you thought wrong” Loki said, kissing his cheek again

He reached over and waved a finger before Ari, smiling when he grasped it and put it into his mouth.

“Disgusting little mite” Loki cooed, taking his finger back “Don’t do that”

He slowly shook his finger, which Ari followed with his eyes.

Thor placed a hand on Ari’s back and took a few moment to calm down.

“I don’t ever want to put him down” he said, unable to really keep his voice from shaking “I can’t believe this is real”

“It is” Loki told him, “And it will also be real when you have to stay awake all night, trying to make him sleep”

Thor laughed through his tears and wiped his face, his eyes.

“Oh, I feel light headed” he laughed softly

“Then go lay down” Loki gave him a gentle nudge “Both of you, go”

He turned Thor towards the bed, making him walk to it. Once there, Thor held his baby carefully and got back in the furs, laying on his back, Ari resting on his chest now.

The boy didn’t mind at all, he started to suckle his thumb.

“Give him this” Loki said, pulling a small plastic box from his night-robe, then pulled out a pacifier “And he is all yours”

Ari opened his tiny mouth and took the pacifier, suckling on it as he lay there, watching Loki. Loki reached over and stroked his cheek, making him laugh around it, then go serious once more.

His pacifier was serious business.

Thor had pillows he was trying to prop behind his head and laughed softly when Loki did it for him, focusing his attention on Ari.

The baby wasn’t even looking at him, but he lay on his chest, enjoying the gentle back rub Thor was giving him.

“You slept through the day” Loki kept his voice low as he sat on the edge of the bed “He’s been anxious to meet you”

Ari cooed, making low, whiny noises and kicked against Thor.

“Since you were out cold, I went to get him myself” Loki said “Asper stayed went with me, I dropped him off. I gave the Casket and brought him back”

He reached over and brushed Ari’s hair back, soothing and calm. Thor’s hand moved from the baby’s back to hold Loki’s, making the King look up.

He raised his fingers to his lips and kissed them as Loki watched, kissed them over and over.

It warmed Loki’s heart to see some hope in his eyes.

“I will never forget this” Thor told him

Loki cocked his head to the side “I will never forget it, either”

He leaned over and kissed Thor on the mouth before he leaned back.

“Now” he said “I will make your dinner and Ari’s. So you two have time to spend together”

Thor grinned, he had never felt like this before.

He held Loki’s hand until the King let go and watched him leave them, going to get their dinner prepared. His eyes followed him, filled with love and adoration until he left, gently closing the door behind him.

Then Thor turned to the miracle he had, gently, moving to lay on his side so Ari was on his back, looking up at him.

He was splayed so ungracefully, Thor couldn’t keep his laughter in.

Just like he couldn’t stop smiling.

Ari had his head angled so he looked at Thor, into his father’s blue eyes.

He smiled around his pacifier and kicked, shouting once in excitement, then going silent.

Thor was utterly enchanted and looked at him, reaching over to stroke his cheek and head.

“Hello, darling” he cooed, his voice soft “It’s me…It’s me, your father…”

Ari watched him carefully, studying him and Thor was sure he recognized him. Ari knew who he was.

“Oh, baby, I love you so much” Thor kissed his middle

Immediately, Ari’s hands went to his hair, fisting in it and pulling. It made Thor laugh against his little chest and he pulled up, smiling when Ari hung on his head.

“You little devil” Thor laughed, slowly detaching him from his head.

Ari fell back, looked at him as Thor pushed his hair back, looking down at his child.

His miracle. He had made this, this was his blood.

Ari was every bit his Sire was. He kicked his tiny legs, already a warrior and when he grabbed Thor’s finger in his hand, he held on tight, like he never wanted to let go.

The door to the room opened again and Thor looked as Loki brought over a bag for the child, setting it down.

“He has his toys in there” Loki said, extending a rattle to Thor “He likes this best, however”

Thor took the rattle and shook it, immediately gaining Ari’s attention. His eyes went to it like a cat’s and he reached out, wanting it.

Thor smiled and went back to his baby as Loki put a few fluffed toys on the bed for Thor and Ari to play with.

“He’s starting to roll, so” Loki went to the other side of the bed and put a pillow beside Ari so he didn’t fall off “Make sure he stays in the bed and don’t let him grab your hair – he will pull it out”

Thor chuckled, giving Ari the rattle and tapping it, to make the baby blink.

“He already tried, I managed to get him off, worry not”

“That is because he was being merciful” Loki told him, setting the last of the pillows down “wait till he grabs the hair at the back of your neck or behind your ears – that will be fun”

Thor winced just at the thought of it and Loki headed back out after telling him to enjoy himself. Ari, once the door closed, looked at his father, then smiled.

A second later, Thor grunted as he hit him right in the nose with his rattle.

Immediately, the little demon started to laugh, his eyes delighted and he raised it to hit Thor again

“Oh no” Thor leaned back “None of that for you”

Gently, he pulled the rattle away, and Ari held on like a true champion, then replaced it with a fluff.

This, Thor was happy to have smashed against his face and Ari loved doing it, hitting him over and over, laughing his little self silly.

And for the life of him, Thor couldn’t even bring himself to stop him.

He was in love.

***

Next morning, Thor was just as enchanted. He had Ari in his arms and the two of them stood outside, talking to each other.

There was no other way to describe it, really. Thor was pointing things out to his beautiful son. And Ari, for his part, looked and listened to everything as though he understood it all. He made cooing noises, he whimpered and gurgled, letting Thor know that yes, he was agreeing to everything.

It was a warm balm on Loki’s broken heart to see them so, to see his lover, his husband and friend, so happy. It gave him hope, made him shine and Asper chuckled as he stood beside him.

The two were in the kitchen, Asper was washing dishes while Loki was looking over a menu that was suggested for him. He was barely paying attention and when he heard Thor’s rumbling laughter, he looked up to see him toss Ari into the air and catch him.

It delighted the baby to no end and he screamed in joy, bucking in Thor’s arms when Thor didn’t immediately toss him high.

His tony face was red with joy and Loki laughed when, after a few consecutive tosses, Thor didn’t obey. He was given a right punch to the eye, then had to watch in shock as Ari laughed himself senseless, clearly proud of himself.

Asper laughed softly and brushed his hair back “They are equally enchanted by one another, aren’t they?”

Loki smiled “Aye. I was afraid that … something was going to go wrong, that one wouldn’t like the other, but look…”

He pointed to them as Thor started to spin his son, then fell back into a thick, soft mound of ice, making Ari screech in delight once more.

Loki hadn’t seen him this happy in so long.

Thor and Ari were destined to stay together, their bond was already cemented.

Thor played outside for a while longer before he came back in. his hair was stuck to his head with melted snow and there was more on his back and shoulders. Ari didn’t mind, he was leaning against his father, taken by him so much he couldn’t be moved.

Loki knew that is he went to pick Ari up, the baby wouldn’t like it, he would stick to his father and Loki would witness Thor’s heart grow three times in size.

And that was all Loki wanted.

“Ah, the little prince decided to come inside, finally?” he cooed, walking over to him.

Ari smiled at him, but as Loki expected, didn’t come to him when Loki extended his hands. Rather, he shrunk into Thor, who grinned brightly at that.

“Come now, darling” Loki pretended to pouted “Let me check to see if you’ve made a mess”

Ari whined and set his head on Thor’s shoulder and the Prince of Asgard kissed his little head.

“I will see to it” he said, keeping a steadying hand on his son’s back “You get back to what you were doing”

Ari cooed at Loki, watching him over Thor’s shoulder as he left. Loki raised a hand and wished him goodbye, to which the baby smiled, punching Thor’s shoulder lightly in an attempt to mimic him.

Thor slowly went upstairs, humming and whistling to Ari, who seemed to enjoy it. The proud parent went to the bathroom where the table Loki had reserved for this nasty task lay. Closing the bathroom door behind him, Thor gently pulled Ari from his shoulder and set him down. Immediately, Ari grabbed his feet and started to roll from side to side, cooing loudly at Thor.

Thor grinned and poked his belly with a finger, laughing at the twitch and squeal Ari gave before he opened his mouth.

“Ah!” Ari demanded, looking at Thor

“Oh, of course, forgive me, my love” Thor said, reaching into his cloak for the pacifier.

He made sure it was clean before he put it into Ari’s mouth and the boy calmed, lowering his arms but keeping his feet up – because he liked it.

“My demon” Thor whispered, reaching down to get to work.

Ari’s clothes were easy to wear and function with. There were buttons around the _area of attention_ and Thor opened them, revealing instantly, the smell of Helhiem itself.

“Norns above!” Thor gasped, hiding his nose behind his arm “How could you do that to real food?”

And he hadn’t even opened it!

Ari seemed proud of himself and Thor groaned, miserable for a few seconds, then turned his head to the side to breathe deeply, and opened the bulging diaper Ari wore.

“Ari, what magic is this?”

His voice, scared and intimidated, was hilarious to Ari and he instantly let out a series of horrible gases and even _more_ of that terrible element.

“Loki!” Thor gave up then, he gave up “Help!”

Thor had fought a war, he had fought and endured the worst torture but this?

This was something not even the Norns could face.

Blessed footsteps sounded behind him and Loki came him, a hint of worry in his eyes.

“What’s wrong?”

Thor looked at him, one hand delicately holding Ari’s feet up, the other pointing to the monstrosity.

“Were you aware of this talent?”

Loki snorted and walked in, a thick shawl was wrapped around him, which he took off and placed on the back of the bathroom door.

“Well” he said “Seeing as both you and I do it, I don’t see why he cannot”

“Yes, but mine doesn’t look like that, this …” Thor shuddered as he stared at _it_ “…green”

Loki laughed “It’s healthy. I would be worried if it came out ‘normal’ as you term it”

He came to stand beside Thor and reached under the table for a bin.

“Get me water in that” Loki nodded to a bowl “Make sure it’s warm, aye?”

Thor nodded, glad to be rid of this duty and went to do as he was asked. In the meantime, Loki wiped off the offending item and threw the cloths in the bin, then smiled and thanked Thor as the man handed him the bowl.

However, he saw Thor walk to the door, clearly thinking himself free.

“Oh, no, no, no” Loki looked at him, brow raised “Get back here, I will show you this once, then you have to do it.”

“What?” Thor gasped “How is that fair?”

“Because I am older and wiser” Loki said, an air of superiority over him

Thor looked like he wanted to argue but he refrained, bowed his head in defeat and shuffled over.

Loki smiled at his drama and moved so Thor could stand and watch.

“Pay attention” Loki said, lifting a soft cloth and dipping it in the water to clean up Ari.

Thor watched his love wipe at his little bottom until all that disgusting goo was gone. Then he saw him pick Ari up and take him to the sink so he could wash him properly.

Ari, apparently, loved this and he wiggled and danced, placing his feet on the sink and jumping in delight as Loki held him firmly so he could wash his rear.

His childish squeals and coos filled the bathroom, echoing around Thor and the man laughed with him, unable to believe that this was truly happening.

It couldn’t be so perfect.

Loki washed Ari then wrapped a towel around him so he could carry him to the table with ease. Once there, he dried him up, placed a gentle powder on his bottom, which Ari didn’t like too much, and then picked up another diaper to use.

Thor was playing and talking to Ari the entire time, barely paying attention to what Loki was doing.

Ari, in return, was having the best time he could and he waved a fist at Thor, bucking his hips and making Loki’s work a challenge.

Loki sighed dramatically “I have two infants”

Thor chuckled and looked at what Loki was doing before he stared.

“What?” he asked “You finished?”

“No thanks to you, child” Loki teased, picking Ari up

Ari looked at Loki, then at Thor, settling into Loki’s grasp and watching his Sire as he was taken out of the bathroom.

“You may rest here until dinner” Loki said, setting the baby down on the bed “I will get a few things to make your life easier”

Ari immediately began to roll and Loki placed pillows around him to keep him in place once more. It only made him kick and buck, jerking in his spot as he took the pacifier out, then put it back in.

The simple game has him engrossed and Thor went to sit next to him so that he could watch.

Loki kissed Ari in the head and straightened.

“Enjoy, my children” he said “Be free”

Thor laughed and waved him off as Loki headed to the door, clearly on the same cloud nine that Thor currently sat upon.

***

When Loki came back, he expected Thor to still be in bed, playing with Ari. He expected his face to be glowing, his eyes shining as he played with his son.

What he saw was – very different.

Loki had a tray in his hands and he blinked, staring at the scene before him.

Ari was propped on pillows – no, it was a throne of pillows – watching his father with wide eyes, his pacifier stuck in his mouth. It was like he understood everything Thor was saying.

Thor was on the floor, a fire poker in his hand, acting out a battle Loki had heard of a hundred times.

“Then the mighty Thor swung left!” he grunted as he showed it “Swung right!”

Loki raised his eyebrows as Thor nearly shattered a vase.

“Then he turned around and looked at his opponent!” Thor turned “And said…”

He broke off, stopping, when he saw Loki standing there

“Uh … something easily forgettable” he muttered, hiding the poker behind him

Loki rolled his eyes and walked in, the tray in hand.

“Glad to know you are teaching our child all about war” he set the tray on the small table they used last night.

This time, it was steak, perfectly cooked and making Thor’s mouth water. There was a bowl of mashed potatoes and sautéed vegetables, which Thor instantly wanted to try.

“Well” Thor said, holding the poker like a sword “They have to learn young, don’t they?”

He pointed it at Loki slowly.

“You, Jotun” he called, tipping his head back in authority “Stand”

Loki narrowed his eyes before he slowly got to his feet, lips pursed, waiting for Thor to order him again.

“Approach me” Thor commanded.

Loki rolled his eyes and walked over, standing just before him, looking at him, his own green eyes shining.

“Now kiss me, love” Thor beamed

Loki kissed him, the smallest kiss in history, then pat his cheek

“Now dethrone the king and eat your dinner” Loki headed to where Ari was “I will give him his bottle while we eat”

“No, let me” Thor, setting the poker aside before he came over and held out his hands “I want to do it”

He looked so endearing and excited at the prospect of feeding his child, it was a picture to see.

Loki smiled at him “Alright, fine”

He walked over and gave the babe to Thor, who quickly went to sit on the bed, awaiting further orders. Ari hung on to him, slowly feeling sleepy as Thor’s warm body comforted him.

It felt really nice and he looked behind him when he heard Loki’s voice, smiling at him.

He cooed loudly when Loki gently took his pacifier and realized he was about to get fed.

Ari let out loud, excited squeals and jumped where he was, which made Thor feel so loved he laughed.

“Look at how excited he is!” Thor grinned

“Aye, he has your appetite” Loki teased, lifting a tea cosy from the tray and revealing a small baby bottle under it “There you go”

Thor chuckled and moved his little excited imp into his arms, laying him down and giving him the bottle. Ari immediately took it, looking up at Thor with his blue eyes, his tiny hands resting over Thor’s as he drank the milk. He looked focused, just on his father and Thor felt his heart grow in size because of it.

“He’s beautiful” Thor whispered “I never thought I could have this”

Loki came and sat beside Thor, putting his arms around his shoulders and giving a kiss to his cheek.

“A baby?”

Thor shook his head “A family”

Loki looked at him, at the man who could break his heart and mend it in the same sentence. He placed a hand on Thor’s head and rested his cheek on his shoulder, watching their son.

Ari, who was happy with both his parents, smiled, releasing a line of bubbles into the bottle, which made Thor smile

“He is so happy”

“Well, he is getting fed, washed and taken care of without doing anything, who wouldn’t be happy?” Loki teased

Thor laughed softly and leaned against Loki, putting his weight on him a little.

“Look at the way he is watching me” he whispered, noting his son’s blue eyes blinking slowly as he looked upon his father “It’s like he knows who I am”

“He probably does” Loki told him “You and him look so much alike”

When Thor looked at Loki, Ari frowned, his little brow creasing, before he pat his hand with his tiny fists, wanting his attention.

Loki was astonished at his behaviour, but delighted, just the same

“He has your jealous streak, too, look”

Thor looked at his son, who was frowning at them both as he drank his milk, his little mouth moving. He was feeding, yes, but he was very displeased with his parents.

And Loki, of course, decided to see how far he would take it

“Thor,” he pat his shoulder “Kiss me”

Thor was startled, but said nothing to it, turning his head to kiss Loki.

The second he did, Ari started to kick and when Loki cupped Thor’s cheek, hiding him from view…

Well, that was not good.

Ari was furious and he tensed his little body, pushing the bottle out of his mouth and started to bawl. His little body was tensed and he arched his back, screaming and clenching his hands into fists beside his head, his feet kicking in rage

How dare they ignore him!?

How dare they!?

Loki pulled back, pulling his lips inwards as he tried not to smile.

Gods above, Ari was a little terror!

Thor, however was intimidated fairly quickly and Loki sat back as the warrior stood and consoled the crying, howling babe on his shoulder

“I’m sorry!” Thor apologized “I didn’t mean it, baby, it alright!”

Of course, Ari was not making it easy and he kicked Thor, pulled his hair and _screamed_ in rage.

He was not happy!

Thor bounced him, calmed him, rubbed his back, then when he gave up, Loki did the same but, Ari was intent on his tantrum, intent on making them pay.

He pulled their hair, kicked them, screamed in their ears as each of them took turns, trying everything they could to calm the demon they had awakened. It was awful! Ari was red in the face, Thor was horrified and Loki was trying very hard not to laugh because this was so hilarious!

They were cowed by Ari – a tiny Jotun who couldn’t even walk!

He screamed and cried for over an hour before Loki managed to calm him, finally. He had walked around the room, rubbing his back, singing to him and trying to get him to calm.

Then Thor had taken over once more, removing his tunic to press him against his warm skin and that worked. That truly helped.

Now, an hour after Loki’s game, Ari had his head on Thor’s shoulder, mouthing his skin as he watched the room lazily, his sleep starting to catch up with him.

“Gods above” Loki whispered “I am never doing that again”

Thor turned to him, wincing and glaring at the same time

“Do not speak” he whispered “It’s finally relaxing”

Loki put a hand on his mouth, trying not to giggle at what Thor said.

It was true, both parents were aware of how sleepy Ari was getting, so it was a huge relief when he eventually dozed off where he lay on Thor.

Loki stood carefully and went out the door, coming back a little while later, a basinet in his hands. It was small and soft enough to be placed on their bed and he did so, then pulled their food to the side so Thor could walk over and place Ari down.

Thor nodded at the silent signal and walked over, soothing Ari. He got on his knees on the bed, Loki placed a hand on his back to keep him stable. Gently, Thor pried the baby off his shoulder, bent over the bassinet, then looked at him.

He looked so innocent and sweet, his tiny mouth pouting, his fists moving a little as he dreamt. Thor couldn’t help but grin and he kissed his cheek before he slowly set him in his bed, pulling the blankets and furs around him.

Loki stood there, watching as Thor levered himself over the bassinet, just looking at him.

“I can’t stop staring”

Loki smiled “He will think you are a stalker. Come …”

He gave Thor a smack on the bottom, making him look back, startled

“Food awaits” Loki kept his voice soft “Come on”

Thor smiled and kissed Ari on the cheek once more before he turned and got off the bed, going after Loki so they could enjoy their meal together.

***

Of course the moment they got downstairs, Thor had another surprise in store.

“I know you made him cry on purpose, you can’t hide these things from me!”

Thor froze, his blue eyes going wide as he stopped, midway through fixing the cloak over his shoulder.

But there he was, setting the table and grumbling about how they were both horrible parents and would make Ari into a demon child.

“He has no horns” Halvor said “But the way you two treat him, he will grow them just to spite you and have a chance at some sort of redemption.”

He set a pot roast on the table and turned to face them.

He was trying to be intimidating and it would have works had it not been for the off white, slightly smudged apron and the large oven mitts on his hands.

He looked, no offence intended – Loki thought – like a housewife demanding the day’s pay from her poor husband.

Apparently Thor thought the same because he was watching him, biting the inside of his cheek to keep from laughing.

It took a few attempts from his side to properly formulate a proper sentence because he wanted it to lack teasing or mockery.

“Um…” Thor cleared his throat “How was your day, dear?”

Loki snorted and shoved Thor “Idiot!”

Halvor narrowed his eyes and took off the mitts “You think you two are funny, do you? Your sense of humour is old and expired, not to mention sexist and rude”

“Nonsense, it is seasoned and perfect” Loki chuckled, walking over to check the roast “what abomination have you made?”

“Something that didn’t take you three hours to make, so hush and wash up before you eat” Halvor shot back “My lords…”

It was an insult, Thor knew it and he went to the small bathroom they had downstairs to wash his hands as Loki went to the kitchen.

“Where is Asper?” Thor asked, coming out and drying his hands on his cloak

Loki made a displeased face as he brought out a sitting for Halvor “You are immature”

Thor stopped and looked at his hands“It’s just a cloak”

“Aye and there was a towel right there if you cared to look” Loki pointed out

Thor turned and there was one, behind the door, but really, he couldn’t be bothered at the moment. He came over as Halvor brought over the vegetables he has turned into a stew and sat down.

“So… Asper?” Thor prompted

“Aye, Asper” Halvor mimicked “I slave all bloody day and that is all he cares about, Asper”

Loki chuckled and a few seconds later Asper came out with the rest of the meal

“It’s because I actually work and don’t have my head up in the clouds, thinking about that lady you met” Asper said, placing the chicken rolls on the table

“Shut your mouth!” Halvor snapped, his face turning red “there is no lady”

“Oh, there is one” Asper said “Black curly hair and big blue eyes. Spirit of a fine war beast and a temper to match. She had you by your balls the moment you saw her”

“She did not!” Halvor protested “there is no lady!”

“Your blush says otherwise” Thor said, going to take his seat “So please, sit, calm yourself and tell us about her, aye?”

“Aye, tell us about her” Asper teased, nudging Halvor “How her soft gaze had you in the palm of her hand and how her words were the only ones that mattered, do tell us, we wish to lose our appetite”

“Asper…” Loki chided “Go upstairs to the babe if you want to annoy his mood, you menace”

Aspser laughed, dodged the hit Halvor aimed his way and headed upstairs, singing a litany of love songs.

“So how about you tell us?” Thor prompted when Halvor sat with them

Loki sat, too, then reached over to take some of the rolls and their dipping sauce to begin with. He watched Thor reach for the roast – the brute – and Halvor looked at the Prince.

“Her name, I will not tell you” he said “I trust neither of you to not go to her and stalk her so … I will only tell you about her – a little”

Loki and Thor pretended to be offended, but the truth was that it was what both of them would do.

For research purposes, of course.

“I met her in Asgard” Halvor said

“Ooh,” Loki teased “A torrid, foreign love affair”

Halvor stared “No, it’s not love, stop teasing me!”

“Alright, alright” Thor laughed softly “We will ease up. Go on, tell her about her. How did you meet?”

“In the village square” Halvor said “She was selling hand made jewelry and I had not the courage to go to her at first. I thought about things I wanted to say, and they were really good…”

When he broke off, Loki raised a brow “But…?”

Halvor sighed “But when I walked up to her I tripped and fell on her cart, toppled the entire thing and dropped her wares in the mud”

Loki’s eyes went wide in shock and Thor put a hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t laugh.

“It’s not funny!”

“I assure you, I am not laughing” Loki said, giving Thor a glare when he heard a giggle

A second later, Thor yelped as he was kicked hard under the table and hissed, rubbing his knee

“Damn you…” he whispered

Loki, however, ignored him for the moment and kept looking at Halvor “What happened then?”

“What could happen?” Halvor asked “She beat me with her boot until I ran off.”

He sighed a little sadly

“I came back the next day to pay her for everything and though she took the money, she made it clear she wanted to have nothing to do with me” he said “Which is a shame because I really like her”

“She scared you off?” Thor asked “Well that is not irreparable. You could go up and apologize properly. Get her a present”

Halvor was hesitant, as his baleful glare indicated, but looked at him nonetheless “Like what?”

“How about real jewellery?” Thor suggested “I will even help you choose”

“Like a ring?”

“Or a pendant” Loki said, taking a little roast “with a handwritten apology note. And you could have it delivered rather than give it to her yourself. It would be better and I can guarantee she would be thinking of you”

“Aye, women like mystery” Thor said, cutting piece of roast as he spoke “Leave her without communication for a while, too, so when you meet her she will be eager to talk”

Loki blinked at his husband “Are you by any chance a romance novel author?”

Thor chuckled “If I was, you would have me write so many…Ow, Loki, stop _kicking me_!”

“That was me” Halvor laughed at Thor’s reaction “I have sensitive ears, I do not need to know what you two say all the time”

Loki inclined his jaw and looked at Thor “This is your fault. He was never like this when he was with me”

Thor gasped, deeply offended “My fault! I wasn’t even there, he learned this by himself!”

The two turned to Halvor, who was sitting there, innocently eating his dinner.

“To be honest, I learned it from Loki”

“Ha!” Thor laughed, pointing at his husband

“Where else would I learn to be clever, charming, witty and intelligent?” Halvor said

“Exactly!” Thor said in ‘victory’, then blinked and turned to Halvor “I beg your pardon?”

Loki nodded “Yes, definitely me”

Thor groaned as he rubbed his knees “By the gods, you two know how to kick…”

Loki gave him a pat on the back then went back to his dinner. Halvor and Thor did the same, talking softly and vaguely about different things until it was over.

Halvor herded them to the living area after calling for Asper, who came to tell them that Ari was sleeping soundly. The two of them, together, went to clean up as Thor and Loki went to sit by the fire and catch up.

The large fireplace was inviting and Thor smiled as Loki came to lay down, his head on his lap, pulling his cloak over him like a blanket.

“Tired?” Thor asked, gently running his fingers through his hair

“Yes, but in a good way” Loki said, his voice soft “Like when you come back from a good day’s work”

Thor smiled “I remember that. I used to be exhausted when I came back from the mines, remember?”

“Aye,” Loki said “And do you remember how they fell and you scared the life out of me?”

“How can I forget?” Thor asked “You scolded me and later that night, you wept. You thought I didn’t hear you, but gods, that made me feel guilty. Just the thought … it made me feel terrible”

He stroked Loki’s cheek with a thumb and looked down at the bruise he gave him, rubbing it gently.

“I wish I felt that way when I did this, I might have stopped” Thor whispered

Loki smiled “I have been through worse, darling. Remember, I fought a war”

“A war your father started” Loki said “Not you… you were just ….there”

“His most prized weapon” Thor told Loki “I know he wanted Mjolnir when I was younger, he wanted to wield it. And I was so weak, I let him”

“You were not weak, Thor” Loki said gently “You were scared. We are allowed to be scared and we make mistakes when that happens. It doesn’t mean we don’t get a second chance”

“Well, no one will give a second chance to me, I can assure you” Thor said “My only salvation is that I got you to be with me again – I didn’t think it would happen. I thought you hated me”

Loki frowned a little, chewing on his lip as he spoked “I did … before I knew everything and when you captured me, I did.”

Thor looked down at him, knowing – and hoping - there was more.

“But then I saw how terrified you were” Loki confessed “And how you were just as scared as I was. It hit me then that you were as much a victim as I was, possible more, with what you went through”

“I yanked you back when you were pregnant” Thor whispered “Loki, hat if something had happened to you? What if you had gone into labour?”

Loki bit his lip and shut his eyes for a few seconds. When he opened them, they were focused on the fire, watching the flames.

“I had an illusion over me” Loki said “you couldn’t have known.”

He snuggled closer, letting Thor rub his arm and run his hand down to his before he went back. It was relaxing and it helped him calm.

“And I ran from you” Loki continued “Because I went into labour when we were fighting, I didn’t want to hurt myself or Ari”

Thor bit his lip “And I went after you like a mad man. I left you for a year, alone, not even knowing you were pregnant”

Loki sighed “Well, I wasn’t very helpful, either. If I had listened the night they came, maybe things would have been different”

“I wasn’t one to speak then” Thor told him “I was hell bent on fighting, I thought…”

“It was a lie” Loki finished for him “crafted by your father. You were brain washed, weren’t you? Tricked into believing reality and fantasy has switched places.”

“Aye” Thor leaned back on one hand, petting Loki and running his fingers over him to assure himself he was there “You are the only one who understands”

Loki smiled a little, then looked over his shoulder at Thor, up at the man he loved

“Why did you let him flog you?” he asked softly “You could have flown off”

Thor looked back at him, raising a hand and cupping his cheek as if to ground himself.

“If he hurt me” Thor said “Then it meant he wouldn’t be hurting you”

The words hit Loki softly and he sighed, looking at him “Oh, Thor…”

It broke his heart, truly hurt him, knowing what Thor had done.

The young man smiled, bitterly “Don’t be sad, it’s not like I didn’t deserve it”

Loki frowned “Thor”

Thor looked at him, knew he was saying something Loki didn’t like but ignored his scolding.

“What?” he asked “You know as well as I that I betrayed everyone; my home, my people. It was the highest form of treason”

“Aye, but I have forgiven you” Loki told him “My men will follow my example”

“Who’s to say they will?” Thor asked, “Hmm? Who’s to say they will not toss me aside, throw me away and let the winter take me?”

“I do” Loki said, his voice stern “I command them, they will know”

“Loki” Thor laughed softly “You can’t even get me into the safe houses, how will you…?”

“I’ll find a way” Loki swore

He reached up and cupped Thor’s jaw, making him look into his eyes

“You underestimate me if you think I cannot”

“No, I’m not saying that you cannot” Thor said softly “I merely touch upon the fact that perhaps you should not”

Loki frowned at him, but before he could speak, Thor did

“Loki, I betrayed everyone” Thor said “I let them into the castle, I killed men, I killed so many of your people. I fought them, brought war upon them and you for a year, I had your castle under siege do you not remember that?”

“I do, but when we explain…”

“We can’t” Thor cut in gently

Loki looked at him, angry, sad, hopeless and filled with hope at the same time.

“It’s … too much damage” Thor said “This, this life in a cabin, a house hidden away from everyone, that is the best I have”

“That is not true” Loki said, his voice higher pitched than it was a moment ago

It was shaking, too

“This is not the best you will have, you deserve…”

“I deserve far less and you know it” Thor told him gently

He sighed when Loki looked away, realizing, possibly, that Thor was telling the truth.

“Loki,” Thor said, making him look back “It’s alright. Don’t be sad, I have accepted it”

“Resigned to it” Loki said “You gave up.”

“To be honest” Thor whispered “I am very tired of fighting”

Loki exhaled and Thor felt his pain when he saw Loki’s eyes water.

“You’re going to leave” Loki said softly “You are going to leave, aren’t you?”

Thor smiled sadly and wiped his tear as it slipped down his cheek “It’s best for everyone if I do”

“Who says that?” Loki demanded “Who told you that, it’s not true. It is not best for me, there, do I not belong in ‘everyone’?”

Thor looked at him, sad and heartbroken “You are King. Your Kingdom comes first”

“Hang the kingdom!”

Loki sat up and glared at Thor “Throw it away, I do not want it.”

He brought his hands up to hold Thor’s face, to make him see sense, any form of it.

“If it means I lose you then Helblindi can rule, he was heir anyway” Loki said “We will live here, we will be happy, out of everyone’s eye”

“For how long, Loki?” Thor asked bluntly “Tell me. What life is that for you? What life is that for Ari? Hiding away, not being able to see anyone? Is that what you want?”

“I do not want you to leave, Thor, why are you doing this?” Loki demanded

Thor laughed sadly “Because you do not know what it’s like to be me. You have no idea, Loki the torture, the pain and agony I have to live through every single day. I suffer on a daily basis, Loki, I die every day knowing what I do, what I have done this past year”

Loki watched him, a frown on his face

“I have been the most darkest person I could be” Thor told him “I killed innocents, I used to be good, then I turned bad, I was tortured, conditioned and burnt until I learned to be bad and you know what? I won, I got a kingdom, I got respect and I got to make my father proud”

His eyes were shining with tears as he looked at Loki, who was shocked

“But I know it was wrong, nothing can atone for it” Thor said “I will not go back, I will never do that again. Yet, when I am good, I will suffer, like I suffered before and I will suffer again. I am fine with this but I will not let you or Ari suffer with me. You two don’t deserve any of the pain I have to face, none of it. You should be with someone who makes you happy”

“I want to be with you, are you so blind, you cannot see anymore?!” Loki all but yelled “Why are you here if …”

He broke off, another thought hitting him hard, knocking the breath from him.

“You were saying goodbye” Loki gasped “this was goodbye, you wanted to bid farewell.”

Thor didn’t deny it, the truth was there, in his eyes, plain for Loki to see.

“That is why meeting Ari was so important” Loki realized “That is why you wanted to see him, you … you were leaving him. You are leaving us”

Gently, Thor, rubbed Loki’s arms, looking into his eyes “It’s best for…”

He broke off when Loki pulled his hand away and slapped him hard across the face the next second. The sound echoed in the room, Thor’s head was turned to the side, he didn’t look back, knowing when he did he would see something horrible in Loki’s gaze.

And he wouldn’t have been disappointed.

Loki’s face was heartbroken, angry, hopeless and lost all in the same few moments. His eyes were filled with tears and he shoved Thor, wanting, it seemed, to knock the stupidity out of him.

“You will not leave!” Loki said, his voice strong “You hear me? I forbid it. I am your king and I forbid you from leaving, you understand?”

Thor didn’t reply, he sat there, his head bowed and raised his arm, just a little, to protect his face when Loki hit him again – then again and again, yelling and hitting him, pleading, shouting, cursing and begging all in the same breath.

Thor was on the floor, Loki hitting him with his hands, when they heard footsteps and Halvor ran in, Asper by his side.

“Majesty, calm down!”

They pulled Loki away and Thor looked up to see him fighting them.

“You bastard!” he yelled at Thor “You bastard, I will never forgive you if you leave us, I will never forgive you! Do you understand!?”

Thor stayed where he was, looking at how he’d broken Loki’s heart, looking at the betrayal in his eyes.

He had done it again, broken him into a thousand pieces.

But this time it was different, this time, he did it for Loki’s benefit, not his own.

Loki deserved to live in the palace and if Thor was with him, he would never be allowed that.

Which was why, much, much later that night, when everything was dark, when everyone was asleep, Thor picked Mjolnir from where she was, he stepped outside and into the ice.

With not even a note for Loki, with nothing other than a bag of dried food in his hands and with Ari’s soft sleeping cap, which was the last thing he’d touched tonight.

He’d cried over his bassinet forever, he hadn’t the will to leave him, he’d kissed his son, told him he loved him over and over, told him he was better off without him.

Then, with his bag and broken heart, Thor had turned and left the room, going to live life alone. He was sure someone would end his life soon enough, he wasn’t a good man.

It would be better for everyone.

And with that thought Thor took one last look behind him and lifted Mjolnir to the skies.

He was going to leave, he had to, nothing was going to stop him.

But as he prepared for the flight, he shut his eyes, then sighed.

“I can hear you”

His voice was soft, gentle and hurt.

From behind him, standing on the ice and snow, not making any real sound, Halvor was glaring at him. His eyes were filled with tears, his arms crossed over his chest, pain in his eyes.

“Why are you doing this?” he asked “Why are you leaving him when he clearly wants you to stay?”

Thor exhaled, fog forming from his lips “You don’t understand, Halvor, it’s…”

“Of course I don’t understand!” Halvor snapped “I don’t understand why you are throwing everything away! I don’t understand that when you have the person you cried for nearly every night, you are just willing to leave him behind”

“It is better this way” Thor said “And I don’t have to explain anything to you, you are just…. You are just a child”

Halvor scoffed “That is no excuse and you know it. I have seen more than anyone, I have helped you when you needed it the most, you think a _child_ could do that?”

Thor huffed and turned away, walking off.

He didn’t want him around right now.

“Leave, Halvor” he told him “Loki needs you”

Of course, being who he was, Halvor followed him, skipping and jumping to keep up with him, but relentless, nonetheless.

“No, he needs you” Halvor countered “Ari needs you, you would abandon your own son? I thought you were not like your father!”

“I am not!” Thor spun around, his gaze finally angry “I am not like my Father, he is a monster! He has managed to strike fear into my heart, I would never do that to Ari!”

“Aye, you will only leave him” Halvor came to stop before him, hip cocked to the side.

They were only a little distance away from the home Loki had, a wall lining of trees separating them.

“You have been abandoned by your father, it was terrible” Halvor said “You were left alone, I was dumped in the trash, we are both the same. And Loki raised us. He helped both of us grow, he helped up become who we are and this is the gratitude you give him?”

“He doesn’t want my gratitude” Thor growled

“Aye, he wants more” Halvor pointed to Thor “And you owe it to him. After the endless nights he spent with you crying at night, you owe him this. You owe him your servitude, you have to stay with him”

“No, I do not” Thor said “Now leave”

He turned to walk away again and to his frustration, Halvor followed.

“Halvor, just leave me alone!” Thor growled “I am not coming back!”

“Who are you trying to fool anyway?” Halvor asked him, still after him “Yourself? Loki? Both of you know that your heart is behind us, both of us know you won’t be able to stay away. You are just making things hard for yourself.”

“I am making it easier for everybody” Thor rumbled, then looked at him over his shoulder “Now go home”

“No” Halvor said “Tell me why you are making things easy, what is going on in that mind of yours? What are you so afraid of!?”

The answer, was somewhat expected.

Thor didn’t turn, he didn’t stop, he didn’t look at him, he just raised his hammer to the skies and Halvor went to grab his cape but he was gone.

Halvor growled as he saw him jump to the skies and kicked mound of snow into the air.

“Coward!”

His yell echoed into the night, following Thor to the stars, he knew he had heard it. Halvor knew.

He snarled, wanting to hurl something after him as he watched him head to the clouds and sail away.

His anger upon him, he spun around to go back when he heard a soft boom. Looking over, the young man frowned when a flash of light blasted in the distance, gentle and soft, then his brows rose as he saw Thor going to land by it.

It was a portal, Halvor was sure of it, but should he not walk through it?

But as Halvor stood there, the portal vanished and right before Thor, stood a figure that Halvor could have sworn was his imagination.

Because it wouldn’t be possible.

It couldn’t!

Odin was recognizable even from where he stood and Halvor realized the enormity of what he had seen.

His feet moved of their own accord then, following the path down the mountain, heading to where Thor and Odin were talking, wanting to know what the hell was going on and why Thor was meeting with their sworn enemy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ari belongs to Isharaheart. http://isharaheart.deviantart.com/
> 
> She was nice enough to let me use her baby. Also, she takes commissions so if you have a scene in mind, get in touch with her.
> 
> P.S I was late because my grandmother hit me really hard and it kinda made my neck stiff. I was sleeping and she hit me right on the head with a really hard/stiff/thick pillow, which doesn't sound bad but felt like hell.
> 
>  
> 
> P.P.S I love you guys


	22. Chapter 22

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> And they all fall down....

The snow and ice was around them both, floating in the air silently, as though suspended there as time stood still. There were distant sounds that always accompanied Jotunhiem, crashing, tumbling, and the sounds of mountains rising and falling in the distance. The sounds of the hard winds clashing against the ever present snow and the silence that was always absent in other realms in the universe.

The land was grey, seemingly devoid of colour as it always was. Thor was told from childhood that this was because Jotunhiem had no life or colour, but as he grew older, Thor realized that the colour in the realms came from happiness.

To him, Asgard had been grey and Jotunhiem was filled with colours. It was all about perspective really, his father was too stubborn to care.

He looked upon Thor now, his single eye blazing and emotionless at the same time.

On instinct, Thor felt the fear inside him clutch his throat as he faced this beast so alone. He wanted to step back, he wanted to hide, yet here he was, standing before him, holding the only leverage he had over Odin in his hand. Mjolnir sung to him, possibly trying to console him as she sensed his beating heart and sensed his trepidation.

Odin was not someone to be taken lightly, Thor knew this with certainty.

The old king looked upon his youngest, a sneer on his lips. He was here for a purpose and he was going to fulfil it no matter what.

Yet, beating about the bush a little didn’t seem all that unappealing. In Odin’s opinion, it scared out the frightened creatures within the bush and left only the strong. And right now, Thor was not strong. His time here had made him grow week.

It was merely a day and Odin saw his work unravel already.

Loki’s hold was strong on his son and Odin was tempted to take it away again.

He jammed his spear into the ice, feeling the pleasure of seeing Thor flinch afterwards. The boy was afraid, Odin was proud to notice. He was possibly recalling what had been done to him in that room, where Odin created a monster from a weakling.

It was, Odin realized, his greatest personal accomplishment yet.

And Odin wished to do more.

He sighed, fog erupting from his old parched lips.

“Your whore managed to free Balder from my hold” he spoke as though it was a casual conversation “Tyr has taken him and a few others on a hunt but I know they merely wish to hide like the cowards they are.”

Thor frowned, not understanding what Odin meant at the moment “What hold?”

Odin raised an eyebrow “What hold? Why Thor, the one I had him under to persuade Tyr to bring Loki to me, have you no knowledge of it?”

His brow furrowed deeper, clearly unable to hide his emotions and thoughts in front of this man.

Odin laughed, the sound reminded Thor of a hag raking her claws down something pliable or gnashing her crooked teeth. It was hard, cruel and filled Thor with hate.

“What did you do to him?” Thor asked softly, a whisper, as though he was afraid to demand it from Odin.

The truth was, he probably was terrified of even raising his voice to him.

Odin waved a hand at him dismissing it “Oh, nothing too serious. A freezing spell. It was harmless but got what I wanted from Tyr. The man is starting to become a bother to me, which is why I am here, Thor, let’s skip the formalities”

Thor tensed, he knew what Odin wanted him to do next, he just knew it. So when Odin said, Thor could have repeated it word for word himself.

“I want you to find Tyr” Odin said “And I want you to kill him. I want you to use that hammer on his head and destroy him, Thor. In return…”

“The last deal I made with you cost me everything” Thor spoke softly, so soft it was hardly a protest at all “What do I gain with this?”

“For someone who has lost everything, I think gain is all you will have with this deal” Odin pointed out

“He is your son” Thor growled

“So are you” Odin countered “And you do as I ask, yet he does not. You fooled Loki, brought him here, led me right to where you are, aye? You have him wrapped around your finger, we both know this.”

“I am not your son” Thor rasped, his grip tightening on his hammer “I was hers. She was the only one who cared, not even Balder could give me the love she gave me”

“And where is she?” Odin demanded “Dead and gone because you were not there to save her. Is that truly what a son is?”

Thor longed to hurl his hammer through Odin’s head right there, he saw it in his mind, he saw it, planned it, he could have done it.

But the fear in his heart crippled him and he could not.

He felt the fear over take the anger and could only grit his jaw as it clawed down his back.

At his silence, Odin smiled. He looked to the side, leaning on his staff and Thor frowned when he saw three deep gashes on his cheek.

“I want you,” Odin said “to kill Tyr. Make sure Balder watches. After the two of you have failed me, he is the only one who can do as I command. I have ignored him thus far but it is time for me to get him on my side”

Thor wanted to say so much.

He wanted to yell and scream yet he held his tongue.

Odin knew he didn’t want to do this but he merely smiled. He cocked his head to the side and watched Thor, snickering.

“You know obeying me is the only choice for you,” he said “Unless you wish to go back into that blasted room”

Thor’s eyes went wide at the threat and he shook his head “No, no I don’t”

“Good,” Odin commented “So go and do as I ask. In return it will be the last thing I ask of you. You will not have to see me again after you bring me Tyr’s bloodied crown”

Thor’s lips tightened and he sighed, looking at his feet because he couldn’t look at Odin for too long.

“Is that an agreement?” Odin asked “I didn’t hear you take my deal”

“We have a deal,” Thor said “Now leave before someone sees you”

Odin smiled “I think someone already has”

Thor looked at him sharply, then to where Odin was staring and he turned his head.

His eyes went wide when he saw Halvor, frozen in shock as he looked upon father and son, hiding behind a tree.

Thor heard Odin pull his spear out of the ice before he knew what he was doing and he turned, looking at him raise and point it at Halvor.

“No!” Thor moved forward, everything slowing down for him as he bashed the head of his hammer into the spear, knocking the blast away from Halvor, who leapt to the ground to avoid it.

The blast, misdirected because Thor’s hit shook Odin to the core, hit the side of the mountain behind the thickset trees they stood by, shaking the ground, the mountain, the ice and snow.

Thor’s voice and the rumbling echoed in the silence after for a long time and Halvor watched, paralyzed, as Odin slowly turned to look at his son.

“You dare!?”

Thor yelped loudly, his voice filled with pain when Odin slammed the hard edge of his staff across his cheek. The prince lost his grip on the hammer and fell back, holding his face as it throbbed and burned after the hit.

He looked up in time to see his father advance on him and grunted when Odin kicked him in the gut, immobilizing him. Thor coughed and curled up before he screamed in agony as a thousand shards of ice poured into his skin and flesh like molten lead, ripping it apart.

“You wish to know torture then!?” Odin demanded, increasing the spell he had on Thor, his arm extended “So be it”

Thor writhed, bucking and screaming as Odin continued his exquisite torture, making him arch his back, claw at the snow, kick and thrash in his torment. He was being ripped apart, his blood boiled inside his body, he could feel the steam rising from his skin.

Odin’s face was fierce, he was a vicious thing to behold as he stood there, rage and madness in his eyes, wanting to kill Thor and giving into the impulse to punish him.

He didn’t notice Halvor behind him.

Odin grunted as Halvor slammed the large rock he held up into Odin’s head, watching him crumple into a heap at his feet. Blood started to appear in the snow around him and Halvor threw the rock aside before he went to Thor, who was twitching and whimpering in the snow.

When he touched him, Thor flinched, cowering, thinking it was Odin.

“Hush” Halvor soothed “It’s alright… I’m here”

He brushed his hair back, silently wiped the tears shining on Thor’s cheeks, and rubbed his back, soothing him.

He could feel the heat of Odin’s curse even through Thor’s cloak and armour, only able to imagine what it felt like.

Torture, he knew.

Pure torture.

Thor hissed and tried to get up, looking to where his father lay. Odin wasn’t moving, he lay where he had fallen, blood seeping from his wound.

“Is – Is he…?”

“If we are lucky” Halvor said “Get up, come on, we need to get out of here in case that monster is still alive”

Thor groaned in misery and let Halvor, the boy he was, help him up, looking at him past the pain and torment in his eyes.

“Thank you,” he whispered “after what you heard, I …”

“What I heard and what I saw are two vastly different things” Halvor said “You were terrified of him, I could see it. I don’t blame you, Thor, do not think for a second”

He smiled and helped him up, letting Thor lean his weight on him as best he could. It was hard, considering Thor was twice his size, but he managed and groaned when Thor stumbled.

“My lord,” he croaked “At least try to stand?”

Thor hissed and nodded, still a little out of it, but managed to at least take some weight off his friend. His eyes, however, were fixed on Odin and the blood on the snow.

If the Norns were just, Odin would lay there forever.

He wouldn’t get up again.

Wincing, Thor took one step forward, then another, until some feeling of relief seeped into his legs and them upwards, into the rest of his body.

The spell was cruel and it left him weak, Thor could barely gain enough coherence to go to his hammer.

“Just let me pick it up,” he reasoned, leaning on Halvor as he bent low to pick it up.

Of course Halvor let him, holding him around the waist as he watched the landscape, letting Thor pick him up.

He turned his head and his eyes widened in horror, when he saw Odin sitting up and aiming, once more, for Thor.

“Thor, look out!” Halvor shouted, a second before he shoved Thor to the ground.

Odin fired the spell and it went through the air, missing Thor by a hair’s breadth. He huffed as he was thrown on the hard ice and snow, the impact stunning him for a second.

With the air knocked out of him, it took him a second or two to understand and realize what the choked cry from beside him meant and why he heard a loud thud, right beside him.

Thor turned his head to see Odin standing up, then to the other side, feeling the colour drain from his face.

“ _No_!” Thor screamed, straining to get up.

Halvor lay in the snow, pale grey, his eyes opened and focused on nothing.

His shout echoed all around him and he thought he heard someone else scream, but he barely paid attention, crawling through the snow on his hands and knees to where Halvor was.

“No…” he choked, his voice ending in a sob “No… Halvor…”

Halvor didn’t respond, his body was limp as Thor pulled him into his arms, holding him close, cradling his head.

Halvor’s body was cold, colder than the ice and Thor hunched over him, burying his face in his shoulder, crying softly.

“Halvor…” he whimpered, shaking his head “No, please…”

His voice shook, his heart broke and when he felt a hand on his head, he couldn’t move. He didn’t know what to do.

“There, there,” Odin said, his voice consoling “You are better off without this weakness. He was making you weak”

Thor heaved a soft sob as he sat there, turning his head to the side, just a little.

“How could you?” he whispered

“I have to do what is necessary” Odin said “You will understand one day, disappointment though you are”

Odin stroked his hair in a mocking gesture. It was soft, as though he actually cared.

“You will understand,” Odin said, his hand retracting from Thor’s head “In time…”

His fingertips started to glow once more, another spell held within them.

“You will learn”

A blast of magic soared through the fog and air, hitting Odin hard enough to throw him off his feet.

Loki’s voice filled the air as he ran through the snow, another spell cradled in his hand as he screamed in rage.

Thor looked up at him, then at his father, who was on the ground, reaching for his spear. Loki reached him first, kicking the spear away from him, out of his reach before he extended his hands, burning a spell into Odin, same as he had done to Thor.

Odin growled, as though it was a minor annoyance, then lashed out with his own, knocking Loki on his back.

Loki leapt back up, but in the time it took him, Odin was gone, the spear was gone and there was silence left around them.

Panting heavily, the King of Jotuhiem turned and paled when he saw what Thor was holding.

“No…” he whispered, same as Thor.

He stood and ran over

“No, what has he done!?” Loki shouted falling on his knees beside Thor “Halvor!”

Halvor said not a word and Loki stared at him in horror, shock and despair. His hands shook, afraid to touch him and Thor saw Loki break, for the first time in his young life, he saw Loki break apart before him.

Loki _screamed_ in pain, in grief and fear, willing to change what was before him.

“Halvor!” he begged, gently pulling him from Thor, gently cradling him closer “Halvor…”

He ducked his head, setting it on Halvor as he held the young man to him, rocking them both, pretending this was a nightmare.

The boy, the young man he had raised as his son, kept as his son and loved as a son… was gone.

Within seconds, he was gone.

A loud, desperate keen escaped Loki’s lips and Thor moved to him carefully, putting his arm around him.

He flinched back when Loki shook him off, feeling the movement jam deep into his heart.

He was gone, just like Halvor, he was dead. There was nothing he could do about it.

Absolutely nothing.

***

Laufey and Thrym were laying in their large bed, Njal was playing on the floor with his blocks, unaware of the mood his parents were in. He knew this was their ‘private time’ and he knew he wasn’t supposed to look so he had given them their back the moment Laufey had lifted a cherry from the bowl they had between them on the bed and given it to Thrym.

Given, would be an overstatement, he’d held it above his lips and made him open his sweet lips before he popped it inside, watching him.

Thrym had blushed, he always did and Laufey kissed his forehead, feeding him more as they lay parallel to each other, Thrym’s book and the bowl between them.

Thrym was reading out loud to his King and Laufey was barely listening.

He was thinking of things to do to him after they put Njal to bed.

None of those things were appropriate but Norns be damned if he didn’t want to do each and every one of them.

And with the way he watched Thrym, he was sure his mate knew it too.

That was why he was exaggerating each word he spoke and let his finger linger between his lips as he chewed on his nail while reading.

He was a right minx, this one, underneath that shy demeanour he was truly Farbauti’s brother.

Laufey was lucky to have him.

He held out a grape for him to have, moving it closer and closer to him when Thrym leaned over to take it until he was close enough to kiss his head.

Thrym looked at him in mild surprise and smiled, his face turning red.

“Laufey…” he chided gently, making the King laugh.

He put an arm around Thrym, moved the bowl aside before he pulled him closer.

“Forgive me, I could not resist” he said, nuzzling his shoulder “You just look … unbelievably delicious, can you blame me?”

“Of course I can” Thrym said “Our son is right there and you do this?”

Laufey rumbled in laughter “Our son understands, you don’t want him to turn and look at us, do you?”

He grinned and picked up a peach, holding it to Thrym’s lips.

“Sent from Alfhiem herself” he whispered, “Have a bite, it will change your life, truly”

Thrym’s lips pouted and for a second, Laufey thought he wouldn’t do it.

But the wild creature moved forward, taking a bite, deliberately letting juice drip from the fruit past his lips and down his chin, licking his lips after.

Laufey’s eyes followed the movement and he moved closer, licking the trail up to Thrym’s lips and kissed him, making both of them sigh softly.

“Father!”

Helblindi’s voice broke through their inappropriate display and Laufey turned to look at the door when his son knocked on it.

Things were not well between him and Helblindi, not as well as they had once been, so Helblindi didn’t intrude on him after nightfall.

That and the fact that it was urgent, had Laufey getting out of bed to open the door to his room.

It was much smaller than the palace, the safe houses were just a collection of rooms to take refuge in, so he was at the door within seconds.

He unlocked it and opened it, looking at his son “What is the matter, Hel, you…”

He broke off, paling when he saw Loki standing behind Helblindi, holding his baby in a bundle, tears in his swollen red eyes.

“Loki…” he whispered, going to him “By the norns, what happened?”

He pulled his son into his arms and Helblindi’s heart broke when he saw Loki’s face crumple in grief.

“Halvor is … he’s dead” Loki whimpered “Odin attacked Thor. Halvor tried to save him and killed it him…”

Laufey froze, the colour draining from his face as he stared at Helblindi in shock. His youngest was shaking in his arms, holding his son as he cried.

“Oh Ymir…” Laufey whispered, wrapping his arms firmer around Loki, his eyes filling with tears.

Halvor was family, Laufey felt his heart break into a thousand pieces and rested his lips on Loki’s head, shutting his eyes and feeling two tears slip down his cheeks.

Loki’s body shook with pain and Laufey pulled him into his room, gently coming to seat him on their bed, where Thrym made space for them.

He knew, one look at them both and he knew they were broke.

He ran to get water and Helblindi walked in wiping his eyes to keep Loki from seeing. Then coming and sitting on Loki’s other side, rubbing his back.

Laufey had no words to speak and held his son, rocking him much like he did when Loki was a child and needed him. He rubbed his back, kissed his hair and let him weep for Halvor.

The boy he’d raised.

Helblindi felt rage take a hold of him and he sighed “I warned you. Nothing good came from letting that son of a bitch come back into your life”

“It wasn’t his fault!” Loki defended him, glaring at Helblindi over his shoulder “He was being attacked, I was too late to stop him but Halvor…”

His voice broke but he still glared “Halvor did it, he went to him before I could, he shouldn’t have!”

Helblindi saw the glare Laufey levelled his way but ignored it, leaning back so Thrym could give Loki the glass of water.

Thrym crouched before him and rubbed his arms, smiling at Ari as the babe looked up at Loki, confused but eager to watch.

“Calm yourself” Thrym whispered “I’m here”

Gently, he rubbed Loki’s arm, moving to sit in Helblindi’s place when he vacated it and once more pulled Loki to him, in the safety of his arms.

Ari fussed and Laufey carefully pried his grandson from Loki, keeping him close as he kissed and nuzzled him in affection.

Loki rubbed his face against Thrym, the scent of his Dam’s hair comforting him as Thrym used the same oil. It broke his heart all over again and Helblindi felt his eyes water when he saw the state Loki was in and heard the low, loud cry he gave as he once more, broke down.

It was hard to watch and he couldn’t even imagine how Loki felt. The pain, the agony and torment that came with losing Halvor was hard indeed.

And to make matters worse, they could do nothing about this.

Thrym held Loki, setting his jaw on his shoulder as he soothed him and Helblindi sighed, going to sit crosslegged on the floor so he could play with Njal. Ari was trying to get used to Laufey as the man played with him, but looked at Loki every now and then.

He wanted Loki back but he also wanted to play, which was a difficult thing for a babe to decide on his own. So he settled for playing with Laufey for a few seconds, then look to Loki for the next few. This way, his time was divided and he felt neither tense nor ignored.

For his part, Loki calmed down after a good hour. His heart was bleeding, he was amazed blood wasn’t tainting his clothes as he sat there, leaned against his – well, his Dam. His eyes were swollen by now and puffy and red, he felt like he’d just lost the world and inhaled deeply, setting his head against Thrym’s shoulder, eyes shut.

“I don’t want this to be real”

Thrym, the only one who openly wept with Loki, nodded “I know, darling, all of us feel the same”

“No,” Loki whispered “I meant everything. From Sigyn to now, I wish nothing was real, I wish it was all a dream…”

Laufey looked at his son, his face becoming heartbroken when Loki once more cried.

“I keep losing the people I love” Loki complained “They are all taken away, all of them…”

Thrym tightened his arms around him and rubbed his back, kissed his head, let him know he was there. For better or for worse, he was there for him, at least.

A grim aura had settled over the safe houses because everyone was aware. When Loki came in with Asper, both of them shocked and weeping, and when Thor walked in behind them, holding the covered body of the beloved Halvor, there was nothing to say.

The only mercy that was granted to the Jotuns, when they were prepared for and attending the funeral, was that no one came to disturb them.

A collection of Jotuns so large was a prime lure for Odin and Tyr yet no enemy came to wreck it.

Loki, red eyed and lost, was at the front, his mourning robes upon him, his eyes fixed on the snow they walked on. Ari was held in his arms, looking around at the dark skies, the stars so high up above them. He looked at Loki, who hadn’t spoken to him with the cheer he normally had, barely glanced at Ari right now.

The baby wanted to throw a tantrum but for some reason he did not. Instead, he looked around as much as he could for his father.

Thor was behind them, carrying the casket on his shoulders with three other Jotuns. He was getting hostile glares but with Loki around, no one dared to say a word.

For it would hurt them and he was already in so much pain he could not walk.

At the roots of the largest tree in Jotunhiem’s capital, lay the grave of Farbauti and beside him was Sigyn. Following those, one by one, the graves of other fallen Jotuns, circling the tree slowly, keeping them surrounding it. Farbauti had three spaces beside his grave for Laufey, Loki and Helblindi. Halvor would be buried in Loki’s spot so it had been dug out and prepared as they carried the casket and Laufey led the funeral forth.

Seeing it, the rectangle before him broke Loki once more and Helblindi put his arm around him as they stood to the side and let the carriers lower Halvor’s casket into his grave. Those who attended the funeral started to sing their prayers and Loki lowered his head to Helblindi’s shoulder, unable to watch.

Laufey stood at the headstone, watching Havlor be lowered to his final resting place. There were prayers and flowers in the hands of everyone who was attending and Laufey waited until Halvor was inside securely.

He said not a word, but he raised his flower, the largest and white in colour, so he could drop it and spoke his prayer.

“May the Norns grant him a place in Valhalla” he spoke “May the fires of helhiem not touch him. May his spirit roam with the warriors of old and may he rest in peace from now onwards”

His prayer was repeated and one by one the Jotuns came to drop their flowers and speak their personal prayers into Halvor’s grave before they went back to their spot. And as his grave filled with flowers, the air filled with Loki’s gasps of pain.

Thor stood beside Helblindi, looking down, his face sad and sombre. He wasn’t showing it at the moment, but he was heart broken.

Servant or not, his status hadn’t mattered.

Halvor had been his friend and brother.

And he’d just lost him.

When his turn came to throw the flowers inside, Thor stood there, looking at Halvor.

“I’m sorry” he whispered “I am sorry, my friend. I would give anything to be in your place right now. I have no right to live after what I have done. You had every right”

There was a girl there, too. Standing between the Jotuns, close to Asper. Her hair was thick and curly, moving in the wind. Untamed, just like her, her face, sweet, just like her, her hands strong and capable of much more than selling items on a cart – her name Ininya. She had pretended disinterest to gain Halvor’s heart and now stood watching him leave her in the most permanent way ever.

Her eyes were focused on the casket and she held her hands tightly together, watching as the Jotuns started to put the snow and dirt over the grave, burying Halvor beneath it, making him part of their land.

Loki was slowly losing himself and Thrym held him tighter, telling him they were there for him and that he had to calm down or he would make himself sick.

Yet his heart was broken and he couldn’t barely calm himself enough to let his brother take him away.

Of course when he did, Thor looked up, his body going cold as he was left alone with all the men he had wronged. By the glares he got, they would not treat him the way Loki was doing.

So with his head hanging, Thor went after Loki and Helblindi, following them at a distance like he was a stray dog.

***

It was later that very night, when he slept in his separate rooms, that Thor thought he heard the door lock.

In his half dream state, he wondered how that happened when he had locked the door. He remembered it, or thought he did, because he didn’t feel like going to the mourning dinner.

Loki was distant, he hadn’t said a word to him nor looked at him and there was no one other than Asper who wanted to even turn his head towards Thor. Thor knew he deserved it, but it was no less painful when Helblindi and Heron levelled angry glares at him and took their children away. It hadn’t helped when Laufey and Thrym and their baby had been pulled away from him, too. All of them glaring, hating, pointing at him and murmuring hateful words to him.

When they reached the safe houses, everyone moved away from Thor as though there was a barrier around him, as though he wasn’t meant to be touched. It was painful, hurtful, as no one even shoved him.

They were all indifferent, uninterested. He might as well have been a rock in their path, they were ignoring him.

Thor knew they despised him, it was no secret nor was it a surprise and he knew that the only reason they didn’t harm him was because Loki had deemed it punishable by death.

Thor had been told that he was to address the public in a few days, when he was better, and openly declare Thor protected by the King himself.

They all wondered why he bothered, Thor was worth slaying. He wasn’t worth protecting, the deceitful creature that he was.

Thor didn’t hold their actions against them, it was warranted. So, he stayed out of their way, leaving the feast and staying hungry in some sort of self-inflicted punishment.

He went to a spare room, he knew no one used it, locked himself inside and took a bath before he fell into bed, not even hoping for his days to improve.

He _had_ locked it, and when he remembered this, he lifted his head, only to gasp when it was pushed back down by a strong hand and froze when he felt the cold chill of a blade right beneath his jaw. He whined as his head was pulled back by his hair and he was forced on his front, a heavy weight settling on him from behind.

“Don’t you make a sound, bitch”

The rumble belonged to a Jotun and Thor’s nails dug into the bed as he forced the Aesir’s head back, seemingly wanting to break it off.

He smelled mead on him, so whoever this was, was inebriated enough not to think before he acted.

Thor swallowed “I know you believe this is justified, trust me, I do too, but don’t…”

He broke off, groaning in pain when his head was yanked back farther. He hissed in pain when the tip of the blade nicked his skin.

“I said, not a sound!” the Jotun said, glaring at him “You are going to listen to everything I say because it is the last thing your traitorous ears will hear!”

Thor hissed and tried to think of a way out.

“You are nothing” his assailant spoke “Good for nothing other than bedding and even that you have failed!”

He gave Thor’s head a vicious shake and Thor shut his eyes at the pain it induced in his scalp.

“I agree with you” Thor said “But don’t damn yourself over me, I’m not worth it!”

The Jotun snarled “You are not worth anything! Not even worth the breath I waste here, telling you this. But you will listen to me”

Thor had no choice and the Jotun glared

“My name is Taryn” he spoke “My brother was amongst the people you killed, Thor. You betrayed my people and you had him killed, how dare you show your face here!?”

Thor felt his body tense “I am aware, I will gladly take any punishment you want, but do it legally. This will only get you in trouble, Taryn, stop”

“You will say anything to get me to stop, whore” Taryn snarled “Sleeping with the King to win his favour, using your mouth on him, that is what they say. You have no talent, none for war, no loyalty for anyone other than yourself. If what they say is right, that is how you swayed Odin to your side, too!”

Thor felt sick, he felt the colour drain from his face at hearing that.

Was that what they truly thought?

It was sick! It was deranged…

“No denial from the Whore of Asgard?” Taryn hissed, pulling his head back again “Then I guess there is nothing to stop me from spilling your traitorous blood”

Thor felt his grip tighten further in his hair, felt the blade pulled back just a little so that it was aimed over his jugular. He felt his eyes close, his breathing calm down and he realised something about himself then.

He’d been waiting for this.

He had been looking forward to it. This was going to be it, this was his salvation, he was about to be let free.

His hands, which had been clenched in the sheets loosened and he inhaled, then exhaled deeply as he prepared for it to finally, finally end.

Yet, he was denied even that mercy.

Thor didn’t really understand what happened, but the weight was pulled off him and he fell to the bed, huffing as the air was knocked out of him. His scalp burned, he felt a thin slice across his neck and when he looked up to see what happened, he felt blood seep down his throat.

Helblindi shoved Taryn against the wall, his face livid.

“Have you lost your mind?” Helblindi snarled, twisting the unfortunate Jotun’s arm behind his back “How dare you try to murder your own King!?”

“He is no King” Taryn snarled, hissing when Helblindi snatched the blade from him “HE is a traitor, he betrayed us all, yet you save him!”

Thor sat up and rushed to Helblindi, wanting him to go, to let Taryn do what he wanted.

“He deserves to die and you know it!” Taryn yelled “You know this, you let him live! How long before someone finally succeeds!?”

“Never” Helblindi replied, stopping Thor in his tracks “I will give my life for him. So you have to get through me and through your King to get to him, understand!?”

Thor didn’t. He didn’t know why they bothered, they all hated him, it wasn’t fair!

He saw Helblindi and Taryn argue, saw guards storm through the door but he heard one of it. He saw his chance at salvation be dragged out, kicking and screaming for vengeance and he turned to Helblindi, who seemed to be looking at the streak of blood running down his neck and staining the front of his pale sleep tunic.

He was speaking, too, his face worried and Thor had to consciously focus so he could hear him.

“Are you alright?” Helblindi approached him “your neck is bleeding”

He came to touch him but stopped when Thor stepped back, looking at him, his eyes confused and hurt.

“Why did you stop him!?” Thor demanded “He was helping everyone, why did you save me!?”

Helblindi gaped at him, his face openly shocked. He lacked words for the moment, which was fine with Thor, because he was so severely disappointed.

“He could have ended everything, why did you stop him?” Thor said “Everyone hates me, it’s what they want, Hel, why did you ruin it!?”

His voice was nearly hysterical, as though he was breaking under the stress and grief of everything that happened, so Helblindi expected it.

The moment Thor took a shuddering breath, he walked to him, pulling him into his arms, holding him close as Thor hit him, pushed at him.

“You ruined it!” Thor accused “You ruined it, you ruined everything, you destroyed it!”

Helblindi said nothing, placing a hand behind Thor’s head, he kept him closed in his embrace and took what Thor was letting out, possibly for the first time in the past seven years.

***

The night could do little to outshine the lights of the Asgardian palace.

Even as it stood empty, all royalty save for Odin gone into other realms, it looked magnificent. The Kingdom that had won over the Jotuns stood proud, despite what her people were fearing.

Ever since they learned that the great Prince Thor had run from the city to escape back to the Jotuns, there was unrest. There was a sense of something bad happening to the Realm Eternal.

There were rumours of King Odin ordering the death of his own sons. There was political unrest within the Council where one party favoured what the King was doing and the other opposed it.

They believed that grief was making Odin blind with hatred, that he was doing things he would not have should the Queen still be living.

The term ‘Mad King’ had started to surface as they heard of everything Odin did and what he went after in Jotuhiem. He had gotten the Casket then lost it and now he was alone in the palace, with a city waiting to see what he would do next.

They waited, aye, but did nothing else. They were fed, healthy and safe, in the richest realm of them all, so they had no personal complaints against the King. As long as they lived undisturbed, what happened in the castle was not their business.

And what a horrifying business it was.

Odin, weak and trembling from his run in with Loki and Thor, hissed in rage as he walked to his chambers.

Three days it had been, three days where he slept to gain his strength

Odinsleep was upon him but he was not giving in because he needed to stay awake, he needed that Jotun, now more than ever.

Time was running out and it became apparent when he heard the soft whimpers that came from his side.

Odin turned, his hard, angry face softening when he saw the sad slumped figure, hiding like it had been the past month and a half.

He could see the terror in the eyes that were focused on him and he hobbled forward, all but throwing his staff away when it seemed to be a terrifying object.

“No, no, it’s alright” he cooed, pulling the frightened figure into his arms, “I’m here, I’m here”

His soft voice, his hand stroking down soft blonde hair and his strong arms helped with the shivering and before she knew it, Frigga, Queen of Asgard, started to calm down.

Her hands clenched in his robes and she shifted closer, her eyes wide and tormented, forever hurt by the fear she felt.

“Where did you go?” she whimpered “The voices are getting louder…they aren’t stopping…”

“Forgive me” Odin whispered “I was foolish, I will not do that again”

He kissed her head and gently picked her up. Despite his own discomfort, he carried her to their bedchambers and carefully set her on the bed.

She was still shaking and looked around at everything, confused and cowering. The voices inside her head, the constant whispering and rasping was terrifying her.

It never stopped, not unless Odin helped her. But these last three days he was sleeping and she was assaulted by them, for three days and two nights she couldn’t move, couldn’t eat, nothing and she couldn’t scream because someone would hear her.

She sat there, going madder than she already was, until she saw him.

He would help her, he had to!

When she was laid on the bed, she looked at him, her eyes swollen and red, her hair out of place from where he had pinned it three days ago.

She looked like a mess and it broke his heart.

“Hush, my love, I am sorry” Odin said, kissing her head

He cupped her cheeks and looked into her eyes, slowly sending a spell to block out her connection with Valhalla, to stop the link so she wouldn’t be driven mad.

Frigga had her eyes closed, tears slipping from her eyes, down her cheeks and over his hands, her own hands holding his wrists as she felt the balm that was his spell.

It was like he was fixing everything. The voices died out in her head and she looked up at him, too exhausted to cry, too hurt not to.

She sniffed and looked at him, her lip quivering “Thank you…O-Odin”

He smiled, hearing his name from her lips. It took him forever to get her to say it, to get her to remember him, even if it was just a little.

“Sleep, my love” he kissed her lips, brushed her hair back “Go to sleep, I will be on the other side of the door, aye?”

She whimpered and tightened her grip on him “N-No, I …”

“Just lay down, my darling” Odin said, stroking her cheek and gently laying her down

She faced him immediately, curling to him, holding his hand tight.

“Don’t go” she begged “Please? I – I get frightened…”

“I know,” Odin cooed, sitting next to her “So I will not leave, aye?”

She nodded and Odin reached over, brushing her hair back, stroking her head, her cheek, her neck. His touch was soft, tender and brushed her blonde hair off her face.

Frigga in turn, watched him, her blue eyes focused on his face, holding his hand as she managed a gentle smile.

“My aches are gone, too” she whispered

Odin smiled “I know. Soon, you won’t have to worry about this alright? I will fix this.”

She nodded and moved closer so her head was on his lap. Her hand never left his and he smiled, running his fingers through her hair over and over.

“You are tired” he whispered, bending down to kiss her cheek “Let me care for you”

His voice, his hands and his care was something Frigga realized was important to her. She snuggled in closer, closing her eyes and sighing in contentment when nothing evil assaulted her. It was calm, pure and deeply soothing now that Odin was here and she held on to him, dependant on him. From her breath to her sleep, everything was dependant on him and him alone.

He was her life now.

Frigga opened her eyes again and smiled at him once more.

“Sing to me” she whispered “Please? I find it helps me sleep faster”

Odin nodded and moved her over a little, laying on his side so both of them could look at one another. He had one hand on her cheek, the other still held between hers and he smiled, humming to her and singing her a song from their childhood.

He’d sung it on their wedding night when she had locked herself in the bathroom, sung it when she was having Tyr - that had been a night to remember, sung it when he was about to go into his first Odinsleep, he sung it when she cried after losing a babe in a miscarriage a few years before Thor, he’d sung it at their lowest, when he was unable to walk straight, sung it to her when she was tired at night … it was their song, the voice and tune that twined with their love.

It was life.

To him, at least, Frigga didn’t remember this song, but she knew it helped her feel better, she knew it was a balm over their lives.

She could almost sing with him, that was how well she knew it.

Yet, at the moment, with his voice and his soft touches, she could do little other than give in to the sleep and calm she felt for the first time in three days. She could fell it make all the stress leave her body and as Odin watched, her eyes closed and her body relaxed so she was once more sleeping in his bed, right before him, where she should be.

Odin watched her, watched how slowly, she began to relax and how her lips mouthed the song with him until she was too tired to. He felt her hand loosen its grip and he smiled, tracing her features gently with one hand, cupping her ear in an affectionate, loving gesture.

He smiled at her, the sleeping beauty he had gotten back and kissed her cheek softly, once, twice, three times just to remind himself that yes, she was here, she was right with him.

He didn’t want to leave her, not when he loved her so much, but he slid from the bed, lifting the furs she loved so much and draped them over her before he gave her head a kiss and straightened.

He felt every ache and crack his bones gave and he hissed, keeping a hand on his back as he retraced his steps to where he had thrown his staff.

He bent down to pick it up and managed to walk to the fireplace, sitting in one of the two chairs placed there so he could rest a little before taking his tonic.

Odin was panting and it reminded him of his own fragility, the feeling of not being in control of his own body was strong and he hated it.

Yet there was little he could do about it right now, later when he was done with this entire business, he would take better care of himself. It was hard to afford relaxation at this time, he needed to be at the top of his game, as those mortals said.

Exhaling, Odin closed his eyes a moment, even though he heard the presence that appeared behind him.

“Have you something for me?”

Nothing appeared to be different in the room, but if looked at closely, behind Odin, was the presence and origin of the one who had spoken. It resembled vapours wafting in the air, if anything, but Odin knew they were something far stronger.

“I told you, I will get you what you need” Odin said, not opening his eyes “There have been complications in the plan”

“Complications” the presence scoffed “you speak as though you cannot fix them”

“It is harder than you think, Fimbulvetr” Odin drawled “More and more of them stand before me. Why, Tyr and Balder fled the Kingdom at the pretence of a hunt. They took their friends with them. If I send my guards after them, the royal family will be broken, I will be named a bad King.”

Fimbulvetr hummed

“I need time,” Odin said “And I need Thor. That boy is the key to getting what I want.”

“What of your spy?” Fimbulvetr asked “Where is he?”

“In Jotunhiem,” Odin said “searching for what I asked him to find. But he is of little use, being driven by vengeance. Once he does what we want, our ‘partnership’ will be terminated”

“You will kill him?” Fimbulvetr asked

“He will serve no purpose” Odin said “Once he is dead you can have his form, just until we get you what you want”

Fimbulvetr’s delighted purr filled the room “Then I will depart. When is he to be expected to return?”

“Two days” Odin said “I will signal for you so you do not miss it”

“That would be appreciated”

There was no farewell, no formalities between them. Silence fell after and signalled his departure from the Royal Chambers in Asgard.

Odin didn’t react beyond releasing a deep sigh before he stood once more and went to get his tonic so he could continue caring for Frigga.

***

They were in Alfhiem during her hard winter months.

All six of them. They had taken a cottage to themselves and hidden within it, all of them aware of the danger they were in.

Their absence has to have been noticed, there was no way Odin didn’t know. What bothered them was that he was doing nothing to come and find them.

It was driving them insane.

Weeks, it had been since they had run away, weeks since they had gotten word that he had gone to Jotunhiem.

No doubt, Tyr thought, it was to bring Thor to his side. Odin didn’t like that they had left, he would want them back. He would want his sons to obey him and do what he had asked.

It had been frightening enough to have Tyr take his best men – and woman – and run. It had not only given him the people he needed to ensure his safety, it had also taken from Odin, his most trusted warriors.

Without them, Odin could do little.

And that was enough to have Tyr placated so that he could at least form a plan of getting all of this over with.

He was pacing outside the cottage, running his hands through his hair, his blue eyes focused on the snow and ice before him. He kept retracing his steps, placing his feet in the footprints he’d already made so that he had some mundane sort of activity to do as he thought.

The door to the cottage opened and Balder walked out.

He had on no armour, he was in his simplest, a thick tunic, furs and heavy boots over the most bulging trousers Tyr had ever seen.

When he saw him, Tyr smiled at his brother, his tension fading from him.

“Ah,” he said “I forgot you had chicken legs that started shivering in the mildest cold”

Balder stopped and gave him a dry glare “And I forgot you didn’t have manners as I brought this broth out for you”

He stomped over and Tyr chuckled at him, holding out his hand as Balder gave him the keg.

He yelped when it nearly scalded his hand from being jolted and gave Balder a look of shock. The younger prince ignored it, apparently content with looking out over the horizon of the beautiful Alfhiem mountains.

They came to Alfhiem when they were younger, when everything was beautiful and wonderful for them. After Frigga died, everything stopped, there was no luxury, no happiness for them and Balder realized he missed it. He missed it all.

He rubbed his arms and held himself tightly, his mind, as it often did, going back to when Odin had frozen him.

The fear, the helplessness was still there. He could ever get those days back, the time he had spent as a frozen nothing. He didn’t remember them, all he remembered was his mad father and how he woke to Loki standing before him, lowering his hand as he removed the spell his callous father had placed on him.

Balder had felt his knees buckled and would have fallen to the floor had Loki and Tyr not rasped him and helped him to the bed.

The next few hours were pure agony as pins and needles pricked his frozen skin, feeling his limbs come back to life.

It had been terrible but Tyr had been there to help him through it all. He had made sure Balder could walk and here, in Alfhiem, he swore he would help him master the blade once more so he learned how to fight should Odin send guards after him.

However, looking at Tyr’s face, he realized it probably wouldn’t be guards that would come after him.

Odin would send Thor.

And Thor was a weapon no one had defeated.

The thought of them going against their brother was horrifying, but Balder suspected that it was exactly what would happen if Odin sent him.

The three would fight to the death.

Either theirs or Thor’s.

And it was a crippling thought.

Tyr sipped his broth, seemingly lost in the same thoughts.

Balder knew that Tyr had changed. He didn’t show it much but he cared. He was never present, but always there.

Even though he had been terrible to Thor in their younger days, now, he was beginning to realize that he was also to blame for what Thor had become.

Had they both been there, perhaps Odin wouldn’t have controlled Thor like he did now.

Perhaps Thor would have been free.

Balder sighed and looked at Tyr, rubbing his arms again. Tyr watched the sun on Alfhiem.

Here, on the mountains, it was different than all other realms, which was why Alfhiem was a prime spot for those who wanted to travel.

The sun didn’t set for six months, then didn’t rise for six months. Night and day, day and night were the same.

It circled around them and Balder always thought it was fascinating.

Even know, the sun was going from east to west, Balder saw the dim light it gave off.

Tyr exhaled and turned to him

“I can’t kill him”

Balder looked at him, knowing exactly who he was talking about “Tyr, he will kill you. We know this. Odin controls him”

“He’s my brother” Tyr said “And he needs help, just like we do. We cannot abandon him”

“Aye, I am not saying we should” Balder told him “But he will not listen long enough to seek out help. He will hurt us, possibly kill one of us." "Then the other will make him listen." Tyr said "I do not care what we have to do, we need to tell him we are with him on this. We need to tell him that we have his back. And in return he needs to stand up to father.”

“We cannot make him do that” Balder said “He is the only one who needs to find the courage to stand up to Father. We can only guide him”

“And yet we are not” Tyr exhaled

He looked at the horizon and down at the mountains.

“Remember when he slipped, nearly went into the ice?” Balder asked

“He was three years old” Tyr nodded “We both went after him, you reached him before I could.”

“Gods, I would never forget his screams” Balder said, shaking his head “I thought I would die hearing them. He screamed for so long, his voice went hoarse”

Tyr looked at Balder, taking a sip of his broth.

“He screamed for six years, Tyr” Balder whispered “And we didn’t hear him”

“We didn’t think it was possible” Tyr told him “Until Loki told us, I didn’t think that could be possible”

“Yet it was” Balder said, looking at his brother “Tyr, we have to help him”

Tyr nodded “Then we need to get to Jotunhiem. Sooner, rather than later”

“We do” Balder headed to the cottage “Enough hiding, I will tell the others”

“Aye, pack yourself those thick long johns, too, Jotunhiem is far harsher than Alfhiem, chicken” Tyr called

He laughed and sipped his broth, shouting in surprise when a snowball hit the back of his head and his entire face was doused by broth.

“Long Johns, your stupid hairy arse!” Balder called back, laughing

Tyr stared at him in shock, watching him go into the cottage and close the door behind him.

He chuckled and wiped his face before finishing his snack so he could head to Jotunhiem and get this over with.

***

He’d fallen asleep on the chair.

His neck was stiff and something was waking him up. It was somewhere in the room, a scratching, hissing noise, then the noises of someone eating something loudly.

At first he thought one of the palace dogs was inside, but unless it learned how to open doors, that was not possible.

Odin groaned and sat up, hissing at the protesting pain in his back. It popped painfully and he groaned, rubbing his spine as its age went against his actions.

The chomping was louder now and he walked to light the wall sconce to turn it up enough to light the room.

And what he saw made his heart stop.

There, in the corner, dragged to it by the looks and smears of blood on the floor, was his maid…

…or whatever remained of her.

Her body was limp, laying dead near the crouching figure of Frigga, whose bloody hands were reaching into the cavity opened in the poor girls chest and picking out bits and pieces of her heart, which she stuffed into her mouth. Her eyes were rabid, her face wet and dripping with blood as she ate like an animal.

She tore and ripped what had previously been the maid’s heart and growled at Odin, her eyes glowing with some sort of magic.

He stood there, shocked, unable to comprehend what had happened to her and she hissed at him, gathering the flesh she was devouring and running to hide in his study, where she continued to feast.

His eye wide in horror, Odin swallowed thickly before he forced himself to think.

He concentrated with extreme difficulty, only barely managing a spell that burnt the body of the poor maid and cleared the ashes and blood from his floor.

It was as though nothing happened, but his rapidly beating heart and the sick fear he felt told another story.

Something was terribly wrong with her.

Odin raised his hand to the wall to steady himself, the other over his heart.

The shock was hard upon him, he could barely breathe. His head was throbbing yet he could not give in to it.

He could not.

Odin stumbled back to his chair, going to pick up his staff so he could lean on it. Once more, he had to stop so he could breathe, then made his way to the study, not truly certain of what he should do.

He couldn’t open the door himself, he used magic to do it and once it was parted enough he saw the puddle of blood staining the carpet behind it.

His heart in his throat, Odin stepped into the room, held his staff tight and shut the door so he could…

Odin blinked when he saw Frigga on the floor, laying there, her eyes shut. Her hands and face, her clothes and even her beautiful blonde hair was stained with blood. There was blood and flesh under her nails, the parts she had left were still in her hands.

She could have been sleeping, but Odin knew the truth was something far worse.

He needed help.

Odin crouched down once more, groaning and panting at the effort it took, picking her up so he could take her back.

His staff was placed on the side and the blood and flesh vanished from the floor under his magic as he carried Frigga to their rooms.

Odin never thought that this would happen and he set her on the bed. He had to sit down and breathe deeply.

He knew this would happen, he had known it the first time she scratched him.

His hand reached up to touch the scars on his cheek.

Three marks, hard and cruel, sat there, a testament of the mistake he had made.

Yet he shook his head, told himself it was not a mistake and stood, going to the bathroom so he could get a cloth and then wet it.

Once done, he came back to his Frigga, his wife and lover, so he could clean her hands, her face and hair as best he could.

Odin had gone through hell and back to get her to him.

He was not about to give up on this.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think. Your comments are the inspiration I need. Every single one of you gives me the drive I need to write this. Honestly, I owe you


	23. Chapter 23

He smiled as he saw it, his unnatural blue eyes watching the safe houses from a far. He could see the Jotuns moving in and out of it, he could see them move about to repair their destroyed palace.

The Jotuns were getting better after their war and once they met up with the army coming from the north, they would get better.

And no doubt, that murderous son of Odin was with them, too. He was probably playing house, happy and lost in his precious life.

With his precious Jotun family.

And how he wanted to rip it from him. Twist it from his grasp, make him watch as they were destroyed. He wanted Thor to hurt like he made him hurt, he wanted to take his future from him.

For the price of ruining Azure was high.

The Jotun stepped out from his small hideout and pulled the cowl over his face as he went back to where the portal would open tonight.

He had the information he needed, he had to get to Odin.

***

The room was silent, still and almost as calm as the sleeping babe resting in his bassinet on the bed. His tiny hands and feet were covered in mitts and warmed him up nicely, so little baby Ari had no problem with anything other than his blanket and pillows.

And since Loki was there to help him with those, the babe needed only to focus on his dreams and possibly, on waking up in the middle of the night to scream and cry until he got the attention he wanted.

He was a prince, that was sure, but he was a spoiled rotten one and would be to the best of his abilities.

All day he tormented and half the night he annoyed for his own amusement. It was a cherished time for Loki when the young prince was asleep and tonight, he was spending that time fixing his wardrobe. He was using magic, of course, he was a royal after all, a King at that. Whatever clothes he wanted to keep and whatever he wished to mend or give away were all stacked before him so he had little physical work to do.

In Loki’s opinion, he deserved to have a little rest after he had birthed that little demon sleeping in his bed. As he thought of him, Ari stirred and fussed before he pushed the sheet off himself and curled on his side, his tiny bottom poking out behind him.

It was adorable and Loki smiled as he looked at the little miracle he and Thor had brought forth into this world.

Almost as soon as it graced his lips, Loki felt his smile waver and leave.

His eyes became pained by his own actions and his heart started to hurt.

Thor…

Ari’s father, Loki’s lover and husband, who Loki had so callously rejected weeks ago. Who had wanted to comfort him and Loki had pushed him away, refused to talk to him, hurt him and ignored him for weeks.

Three weeks, to be exact, had passed since Loki last saw Thor and his chest tightened with guilt at the thought of it.

How was he even supposed to go to him? How was he to apologize for this?

It was one step away from what Odin himself had done to the boy and Loki stood on it. He stood on that step, looking at Thor, at his past actions and hating himself for it.

He told himself it was guilt that kept him from going to Thor, but deep down, he was well aware that it was a lie.

He was afraid.

He was afraid to go to him and find out that Thor was so angry he sat there, ready to leave him. That Thor would want nothing to do with him, that Thor would break his heart just like Loki probably broke his.

True, Loki was in pain, Halvor was so damn important to him. Even as he thought of it now, his eyes filled with tears and he lowered the hands that held the small tunic made for Ari.

Thor hadn’t seen Ari in this tunic, nor had he seen him these past weeks.

It was like the last shred of his happiness had been taken away from him and Loki had done it. Loki had done it all in the name of self preservation.

It was sick and twisted and Loki felt like a monster whenever he thought about it.

It was why he couldn’t sleep at night, it was why he stayed awake and busy – the guilt was eating him alive and the fear of rejection was keeping him at bay. There was nothing he could do that would come with a positive result, it seemed.

Loki was doomed.

He sighed and folded the tunic he had in his hands, placing it aside before he raised a hand and wiped his tears with a finger.

What was he to do? How was he to fix this?

His own pain would be amplified a thousand times, there was no escaping it.

But Thor’s pain would no doubt be unimaginable. He would forever think the worst of himself.

And after what Helblindi told him, Loki was sure that Thor was breaking apart more and more each day.

He didn’t know how to tell Thor that it wasn’t his fault, that this was going to pass, that Loki was to be by his side.

Because Thor would never believe him. And after what Loki had done, Loki wouldn’t blame him. Loki had destroyed him.

Biting his lip, he looked at their son and thought of what he would feel like if their places were reversed, if Thor was the one who was taking Ari from him, if Loki was rejected and isolated, hated by everyone who lived in the safe houses.

The mere thought had him holding the babe’s clothes in his hand and press them over his chest. His blood ran cold and he was afraid. His heart was pounding as he thought about that, about how Thor would take himself and the babe away from Loki, for weeks, years…

He shut his eyes and two thick tears slipped from them, sliding down his cheeks and falling to his hands.

When he opened them, his eyes were shining and filled with remorse.

What was he doing?

He was acting like a cruel, heartless beast, cold as Jotunhiem herself. He was acting exactly like the man Thor had feared him to be when he was first brought here. He was acting like a tyrant, someone who was torturing Thor.

And it hit Loki then.

He wasn’t a step away from being Odin.

He already was.

He was already at that level.

He was right there, standing shoulder to shoulder with Odin, the monster who had tortured Thor his whole life, the beast that Thor was still trying to escape.

And Loki was no different than him, he was made from the same mould, the same flesh and blood.

His hands shook before him and Loki swallowed thickly before he looked at Ari, the life they had created together.

He was fast asleep, unaware of what he was doing to his father.

How he was torturing him every day, every second, no better than the man Thor hated the most.

How he had wronged Ari …

How he had wronged Thor…

Loki looked at his hands, then back to his son, then to the small desk before him, unable to look at anything else.

He might be terrified, but at this moment, it did not matter.

He did not matter, his importance was nothing.

Thor mattered, Ari mattered and there was nothing stopping Loki from making the right decision this time.

Nothing.

***

From the knock, it was clear who it was.

And Thor, who lay in his bed, nibbling on the last of his dinner felt disinclined to open the door immediately. His bleeding heart was pounding loudly in his chest, a hundred percent sure of what he was going to expect when he opened the door.

He knew Loki was here to evict him, throw him out, tell him never to come back.

He had been responsible for Halvor’s death, why wouldn’t Loki want him to leave?

It had only been a matter of time.

The knock sounded again, more insistent and Thor sighed, looked at the meal, which was probably the only good meal he would have for a very long time.

Thor doubted he would be prince or king, not even Thor.

If he was lucky, someone would make him their slave or servant.

He would at least have food to eat.

And if not, then he would welcome death no matter which form it came in.

His hand reached for the knob and hesitated when another knock sounded, harder, more insistent.

Gods, Loki was eager to get rid of him, wasn’t he?

Thor pulled it down slowly and the knocking stopped, he heard the shuffle of footsteps and slowly, like a man doomed, he opened the door.

He could have patted himself on the back for being so right.

Loki stood there, before the door, looking at him with those eyes, no doubt ready to let out his anger and hate on him, no doubt ready to burn him where he stood…

“Th-Thor?”

That voice, the hesitance and the fright behind his name, even that little stutter had Thor frowning, his certainty about Loki’s mistreatment vanishing.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, his brow furrowed in concern.

Concern for Loki, the King realized.

Even after what Loki did, Thor was concerned for him.

And that, broke Loki apart, he felt like glass, blown up and turned to dust, floating to lay at Thor’s feet where he deserved.

His heart broke, his spirit broke and the shame that came with his actions broke upon his head so badly he was amazing it was not torn open.

Thor watched, shocked as Loki brought his hands before him and pressed them together, looking at him in an unmistakable act of submission.

“Please” Loki pleaded, his hands clasped before him, his fingers twined together as he stood there, bowing his back a little “Please, Thor, please forgive me”

Thor paled “Loki, what…”

“I know I have wronged you, I am no better him, I am no better, please…”

There was disbelief on his face and Thor looked down the halls, confused beyond comprehension, then pulled Loki into the room.

He didn’t want anyone to see Loki like this. Loki stumbled after him, tripping over his own feet and to steady him, Thor pulled him to his chest and instinct made him wrap his arms around him.

He kicked the door shut and held Loki to him, feeling his body tremble.

“Stop it” Thor said, looking at the ground “Don’t you dare do this to me”

Loki shook his head, his hands trapped between them.

“No, you don’t understand…”

“No, you don’t understand!” Thor cut in, giving him a shake hard enough to have Loki shut up.

He pulled back, just enough to look Loki in the eye.

“After what I have done how could you trust me?” Thor demanded, his eyes fierce in the light of the safe house room “After the pain I have induced upon you, the death brought to this kingdom and the heartbreak wrought upon the very world that accepted me, how could you not think that this was another ploy?”

Loki looked at him, but when he tried to speak, Thor put a hand over his lips.

“You gave me love, trust, a home, a life and purpose” Thor said “You gave me everything I needed, including chance upon chance to take your help rather than destroy a kingdom and what did I do with it?”

Loki looked at him, Thor’s heart flipped when he saw tears shining in his eyes.

Loki had come to apologize to him, to beg him for forgiveness for staying away so long. True, it hurt, but Thor was past the point where he thought he deserved anything.

Whatever he was given, he was lucky to have.

“You gave me everything” Thor continued, his own eyes stinging with the weight of his tears “including the power to destroy you and I did. I almost destroyed you. So if you are suspicious, angry or even spiteful, it is nothing other than what I deserve”

Loki shook his head at that and Thor gave him a shake.

“Yes!” he countered “Yes, it is. I am lucky to be here, lucky to be alive, lucky to be present at your feet if you so choose!”

“No!”

Loki managed to pull away and looked at him, his hands clenched by his sides, his heart in pieces.

“No, that is not true” Loki told him “I love you and I will never be able to forgive myself for keeping away from you when you needed me most. True, I was hurt and heart broken, but you were more so. I should have been there, regardless of anything! I do not care what you have done, I love you, Ari loves you so don’t you dare say things like that, you hear me? Don’t you dare!”

Thor looked at him, at his eyes, the vehemence in his voice and frowned “You cannot mean that”

“I do!” Loki insisted “You are my life as I am yours, you are the air I breathe, the life I live, the soul I have lost and I cannot lose you again, please Thor, do not leave me, I can see it in your eyes that you want to”

Thor swallowed thickly.

“I will do whatever you want me to” Loki told him “Don’t leave me, don’t leave Ari, I don’t care about anything else, I will get on my knees to beg you to stay if you want, but don’t leave us”

His guilt, his mistake sunk its claws into Loki’s inside, pulling down hard enough to leave him bleeding and opened. The fact that there was no blood to be seen changed nothing. He was bleeding, dying and unable to think. He was beyond comprehension, such was his pain.

“Please,” Loki begged him once more “Please don’t go. I lost you once, I cannot lose you again”

He licked his lips, parched, looking at the King before him, begging him to give him another chance, begging him to stay with him, despite what he had done.

Thor felt so many emotions, but for the first time, the very first time since this hell broke upon him, he recognized it.

He knew what it was that hit him with a force so strong he almost lost his balance.

Regret

So much regret.

“Loki,” he whispered, shaking his head “I won’t leave you. I won’t leave Ari, you don’t have to do this”

“I do,” Loki pleaded “I do, I have to tell you that I am not like him, I am not him, I will never do what he did”

Thor’s face brightened by a laugh even in this scenario “You think I think of you and him as the same? You think I don’t you who you are?”

He smiled, shaking his head “You are an idiot, my Loki, to believe such. You are not like him, you are a hero, a wish come true, my soul, my breath, my life and a gift from Valhalla herself…”

Thor felt his eyes prickle with tears and he held his arms out, a gesture Loki didn’t think was possible.

“Come to me”

Loki wasted not a moment, he strode forth to Thor, wrapping his arms around him tightly, holding on for life.

“I’m sorry,” Loki whispered, kissing his head “I’m sorry I’m so old and stupid”

Thor laughed, his thick arms tight around Loki “I’m sorry, too”

Loki held him for a moment longer, his body pressed against his, his eyes squeezed shut. Their hearts were pressed to each other, too, their breathing was the same.

They were back.

For the first and last time – the two were back.

Loki gave a sniffle and pulled away just enough to look at Thor’s face, his eyes shining with love, tears and pain – though it dimmed with every second he spent with Thor.

He saw those beautiful blue eyes go to his lips, then back to his eyes before he lowered his head.

Loki felt no hesitance, no question and no resentment.

Everything was fading away and when their lips met, it was as though a star was born, right beside them, bright, huge and filled with their love.

***

Loki felt the breath leave him as he was all but thrown on the bed and the air pressed out of his lings when Thor climbed on him, lay on him, their mouths slotted together in a heated, desperate kiss.

He couldn’t breathe with Thor all around him and Loki would not change a single thing about it. When Thor had come back, they had been like this, it had been so long since they touched one another like this that Loki could hardly believe it.

His arms went around Thor’s shoulders and he moaned softly into his mouth when Thor parted his knees and raised his legs on either side of his tapered waist. They were both panting, kissing and touching each other.

Loki felt Thor’s thick tunic pull and tug beneath his hands and Thor lowered his head to kiss and breathe against Loki’s neck.

His taste, the scent that was so exquisitely Loki assailed him and Thor bit his throat, making Loki tip his head back, his hand slipping inside Thor’s tunic.

Thor hissed and Loki bit his lip at the erotic sound, letting out a soft sigh of his own when Thor started to kiss, then suck a mark on the skin he’d bitten.

There were no words between them right now, their actions were enough.

Thor’s beautiful hair fell over their faces when Thor kissed Loki again and Loki laughed softly, moving his hand over Thor’s muscled torso, raking his nails over his abdomen and making the younger man shudder in pleasure.

Thor bit Loki’s lip and sucked it between his own, then kissed him proper, pushing his tongue into his husband’s mouth, groaning at the desire that flowed through his veins.

They were both hard, Loki felt his channel become slick and realized how badly he needed Thor. He wanted him, his body craved him and he pressed his lips to Thor’s harder, his hand slipping from Thor’s stomach to his back where he slipped it lower and lower until his hand was inside his trousers, firmly kneading his firm bottom.

Thor groaned at the attention, sighing into Loki’s mouth before he pulled away, kissing his neck, then moving lower and lower, down his body, kissing him over his clothes. Loki’s hands dug into his hair when he felt Thor undo his sleep trousers and pull them off and away, leaving him bare. His back arched when Thor grabbed his leg and lifted it, kissing and biting the inside of his thigh so deliciously that Loki pulled at the sheets.

His head tipped back as Thor kissed and bit his sensitive skin, nibbling on it as he went closer and closer to his slick channel.

Loki’s sharp cry filled the room when Thor bit the sensitive joint of his leg and pelvis, then he groaned when Thor’s free hand slipped a single finger inside him as he continued his worship of Loki’s leg.

His blonde hair fell over his face and his eyes shined as he looked positively barbaric, looking down upon Loki as though he was a feast, spread out for him.

His finger breached Loki slow, seeking out the pleasure spot inside him, watching the way Loki’s chest heaved up and down with each laboured breath.

One pale hand was clenched in the sheets and Loki had an arm thrown over his eyes as he panted, his mouth wet and red because of Thor’s earlier attentions.

Thor loved this, the power he had over Loki, the way he made him turn into putty between his palms, he could barely look away.

Loki’s lips mouthed words Thor could not understand, his breathing was wet, needy and Thor loved it. He moved his finger deeper and grinned.

A choked cry escaped Loki and he arched his back off the bed.

Thor found it.

The small bump that was making  Loki see stars. Thor felt his hand become wet, Loki’s glistening juices started to coat it and Thor bit his thigh enough to have Loki keen loudly, dropping his arm to the side.

He was completely opened for Thor, the man rested his pale leg on his shoulder, looking at him and Loki felt his face heat up further. His hand moved inside him and Loki whined loudly when Thor pushed another finger inside him, spreading them and extracting a raw cry from Loki’s throat.

“Thor!” he pleaded, his mouth hanging open, his eyes shut as he pulled at the sheets “Please, please…”

Gods, Loki was pleading with him and the sensations that went through him made him shudder. He was ready, Loki was opened and prepared and begging him to take him.

Thor was hard, the need aching between his legs and he bit his lip, reaching down to free himself. He didn’t lower Loki’s legs and he used his fingers to keep Loki on edge, tense and on the brink of sobbing in ecstasy.

Loki gasped in pleasure when Thor yanked him close by the hips and he spread his legs willingly, keeping the one in Thor’s grip where it was.

“Please, yes…” Loki whispered, biting his lip and pressing down on Thor’s hand.

The way he clenched around him almost made Thor’s eyes roll back in his head but he needed to see this, he had to.

So long had passed since they were like this, so much had happened.

Thor moved over him, extracting his hand from him to place it beside his head and thus holding his leg wantonly high up, leaving Loki stretched.

“I can’t believe how beautiful you are like this…” Thor whispered, looking down at him “I could look at you forever”

“If you try,” Loki panted “Right now, at this moment – I swear I will smite you”

Thor laughed and kissed his nose “There is the grump I wed”

Loki inclined his jaw and was about to respond to it rather scathingly when Thor pushed into him. The bastard was slow and Loki felt a tight moan push from his throat at the tightness and fullness he felt because of Thor.

It was beautiful and the King lifted his hands, raking Thor’s arms with his nails as he pushed in deeper and deeper, parting him with his hard length, making him lose what little sense there was in his head.

Thor was bent over him, looming over him, caging him, controlling him beneath his body as he pushed in to the hilt and paused, seeing the beautiful and ruined state that Loki was in. usually so graceful, he looked wrecked as his hair was spread beneath him and his eyes were shut. His hands held Thor’s arm, touching him as much as their position allowed.

When he felt Thor stop, Loki chanced a look at him from beneath his lashes and he smiled at him, his love shining in his bright green eyes.

Thor felt his heart grow within his chest and he leg Loki’s leg go, feeling it settle beside him as he leaned over, putting both his hands on either side of Loki’s head and kissed him. Loki kissed him back and threw his arms around his neck, wrapped his legs around Thor’s waist and held him close.

They were locked together, in the most intimate of poses and as they kissed, Thor started to move his hips.

Loki gasped, his head falling back to expose his throat, which Thor immediately kissed and bit, licking where he was too harsh, making Loki keen.

Thor went deep inside him, then pulled out and went deeper still, Loki’s nails raked his back, the back of his neck, his mouth panted words of love and endearment and it drove Thor on.

It made him want more.

Slowly, he established a gentle rhythm, where Loki felt everything he did and Thor felt every delicious movement Loki gave around him. It was filled with sentiment and Thor buried his face in Loki’s neck, panting against his skin.

Loki’s hands scratched and pulled, slipped into and pushed up his tunic so he could feel him more, skin to skin. His eyes were shut as they moved on the bed together, their bodies pressed together, their breathing matched perfectly with one another.

As his need started to grow, Thor sped up and Loki hung on, biting his lip, urging him on by scratching his bare back, by biting his ear, his neck, whispering into his ear, calling his name over and over…

“Thor…” he panted “My Thor… Thor…”

He moaned and hissed at the way sparks of pleasure went through him and Thor held him closer, pushing in deeper, his choked cries, his gasps and wet moans driving him harder and harder.

It was erotic, beautiful and they both needed it.

Little to no words between them, Loki felt his climax break upon him before Thor’s and his entire body shivered as Thor kept his rhythm, as he kissed him, bit him, pulled him closer and pressed him down, going deeper, harder, faster…

Loki cried out, soft enough to be a whisper, he was never loud, and Thor kissed him as Loki seemed to float in his bliss for a few seconds.

Thor moaned into the kiss when he felt Loki’s warmth hit him, his slick burst telling him that Loki was done.

He lay him down, felt his arms and legs detach from him till Loki lay beneath him, his eyes closed. His embrace broken, Loki had his eyes closed and was panting heavily.

Thor thought it the most beautiful thing he had ever seen and fell deeper into love with him.

His life, his Loki, his soul and spirit.

Thor kissed his neck, his face and lips as he continued, moving over him, inside him and becoming a part of him before he too succumbed to their love and fell upon Loki, the two once more entwined with each other as they lay there, kissing and reviving their lives after having them so destroyed.

Eventually, the two lovers parted and Loki immediately turned to face Thor, his eyes looking into Thor’s his hand resting on his cheek, gently stroking it.

Thor’s hand was at his waist, his head resting on a pillow. He moved his foot and both of them startled when a loud, shrill clatter filled the room.

Thor winced and looked at Loki, grimacing “That was probably my platter from dinner”

Loki snorted “It got jolted by your foot and was left untouched by what just happened?”

The prince laughed with him and shook his head “One marvels at Jotun tableware.”

“Aye, marvellous it is” Loki smiled, unable to keep from looking at Thor.

Thor, too was taken by Loki and he gently closed his eyes when Loki leaned over to kiss his plump lips yet again.

“Should we retire to your rooms?” Thor asked, kissing Loki’s bottom lip

“Nay,” Loki said, brushing his hair back “Our rooms”

It made Thor grin and he pulled Loki close and beneath him once again knowing that their delay wouldn’t matter to either of them.

***

Helblindi sat with Heron, Hrym and Byleistr at the breakfast table. Baby Loki, who was not a baby any more, thank you very much, was sitting with Thor, talking to him about his day so far.

Loki, the King not the baby, noticed one thing about the children - they didn’t resent Thor.

By all means, they should. They knew the stories, they knew what he did yet they held nothing against him. Each one of them was talking to him, infatuated with him and had enough lungs to talk to him all day.

It had been three days since their reunion and though there was much anger against Thor, Loki’s family was slowly thawing.

The King appreciated it more than he could say or express. He had tried to thank them over and over but they had assured him that even though they lived in the safe houses, things were going to be fine.

Since the army had left, many Jotuns had volunteered and descended from the northern areas to help the capital rebuild itself. It had been the one most affected by the destruction.

There was an army, heading over, the one that Odin had once wanted to destroy. It was built with the best and strongest of Jotuns so as far as security went, they were guaranteed it.

Today, the royal family would go out and help with the construction. Loki was going to help with his magic and Helblindi with the Casket itself, Heron was to supervise, which left Thor in a slight conundrum.

He had had these safe houses made, he wanted to help build the castle but he didn’t know if he would be welcome or allowed.

The only ones other than Loki who talked to him properly were the children and Thor was grateful for that.

He looked down when he felt the tug at his shirt and smiled at what Loki showed him.

He’d turned his breakfast into a drawing of a castle.

“That is well done” Thor pointed to him “clearly made by experts, I doubt many can rival that”

Young Loki chuckled and the King Loki rolled his eyes.

Twins started to copy their younger brother and Heron smiled when all three of them started bragging about their art.

Beside Loki, Ari slept on unaware in his tiny cot. He would wake soon, no doubt, to reign terror upon his helpless victims, the threat was always present.

He was nearing four months and rolling from one part of the room to the other was quickly becoming his favourite past time. Often, Loki and Thor had to watch where they stepped in case they made a mistake and stepped on their beloved child.

It was endearing as it was annoying, but what truly made Loki happy was the fact that Thor was such a good parent.

He took care of Ari without prompting. He fed him, changed him and played with him. He talked to him, made him laugh, bathed him, lived up to every little expectation Loki didn’t even know he had.

More than once Loki would wake on instinct whenever he felt Ari would, only to see Thor already walking with the babe on his bare chest, talking and whispering to him softly. He would go back to sleep, not wanting to intrude on the moment and next morning Thor would be asleep on his back, Ari curled up on his chest, sleeping soundly.

It mended his heart the longer he looked at it.

This morning was the same, especially when, halfway through their meal, Ari decided he wanted to wake up and demand attention.

Loki had turned his head to look at him and coo, Thor got up, leaving his breakfast behind to cater to his fussing baby.

A smile curved his lips, Helblindi noted it, as Thor cooed to his son, carefully pulling him out and holding him in the crook of his strong arm.

“What’s the matter, darling?” he cooed “Did you want a bottle? You want to potty? Do you want everyone to know the ultimate truth of all elements and tell us about how we all crave subjugation?”

Heron, who was having his juice, snorted at that and coughed, laughing even as Helblindi pat his back for him helpfully. Heron wiped his lips with a napkin and chuckled, looking at Loki.

“He seems to have changed” he said

“Nay,” Loki smiled, looking at Thor “He turned back to the man he was”

When Thor returned, Loki lovingly stroked his arm and let him sit down with Ari in his lap, his big blue eyes looking at everything. Immediately, because he could, he smacked both his hands on the table top and let out a squeal of delight, looking at the food young Loki had before him.

Loki giggled and looked at the man he was named after “He’s so funny”

“Aye, he is” Loki told him, his green eyes watching his son “Reminds me to keep alert and vigilant if nothing else.”

Thrym and Byleistr smiled “That’s good. You can keep an eye out for enemies”

Helblindi scoffed “Aye, play house with them too, while you are at it”

Loki looked at his brother, his jaw grit “Hel…”

It was a warning and Heron made it clearer by gently placing a hand on his husband’s arm to calm him down. The boys were silent, their father’s anger enough to still their tongues.

And Helblindi had a lot of anger against Thor, he truly did.

Thor was one of the family, all of them loved him like a family and though Loki was happily ignoring everything he had done, Helblindi was not going to.

They had stood together, brother beside brother, he was supposed to fight a war _with_ them, not against them. Helblindi was justified in what he felt.

Thor had _betrayed them all_.

“What?” Helblindi snarled at his younger brother “Am I wrong? Are you not happily shacking it up with the enemy?”

“He is not the enemy and you know better than to argue with me” Loki told him, his eyes blazing “We have been through this before, do not test my patience”

“Or what?” Helblindi demanded “What will you do?”

“As your _King_ I will do whatever is needed to stop this nonsense from spreading throughout the palace” Loki said

“Nonsense!?” Helblindi shot to his feet “You call what happened to us nonsense!?”

“Nay, but your useless fight is nonsensical” Loki said, not at all fazed by his brother’s anger “So settle down before I am forced to do something drastic”

Helblindi was furious and it showed a moment later when he lashed out, startling nearly everyone but Loki as he smacked a water jug off the table, watching it fall to the floor and break into a thousand pieces.

Loki had his jaw grit and glared at his brother, not impressed by what he saw.

Thor was unable to look at Helblindi and even cowered a little when Helblindi addressed him.

“You are not worthy of this life” he snarled “You are a snivelling rat and I can’t wait to have Loki throw you out when he comes to his senses”

“Helblindi,” Loki rasped “Get _out_.”

Helblindi said nothing and he stormed away, leaving them all behind. He banged the door shut and Loki kept glaring at the space he had stood at.

There was silence in the room before Heron made a soft, apologetic sound and stood to pick up the pieces of the broken jug.

“Heron, leave it” Loki said, looking at him, his eyes soft “Go to your idiot. He will need comfort”

Heron nodded and put the pieces back before he came to take his boys, stopping beside Thor, looking at him when his baby Loki got to his feet.

“Don’t – Don’t believe what he says” Heron told Thor “He is just angry. He loves you, alright? He is just angry”

Gently, he cupped Thor’s jaw and made him look at him.

“We are on your side” Heron told him, bending to kiss his head “Just stay a little stronger”

Thor was touched but before he could say anything, Heron turned and took their children with him, all of them waving at Thor as they departed.

Once gone, Thor exhaled and Loki put an arm around him, letting him lean on him, rubbing his arm.

“It will be alright” Loki told him softly “We just need time”

“For how long?” Thor asked “Before someone realizes I am not worth it?”

“Thor, you are worth so much” Loki told him “Don’t think ill of yourself over one stupid tantrum, aye?”

Ari slapped the food Loki had left behind and his Dam rolled his eyes

“Look, he has your temper”

Thor laughed softly but there was little spirit in it. Loki knew it and he rubbed his arm again, kissing him on the forehead.

“I know it’s difficult but don’t let their words get to you” Loki told him “What is done is done. It was unfortunate but it is in the past. If we are to move on, all of us have to forget it, aye?”

Thor nodded and rested his head on Loki’s shoulder, holding Ari as the babe destroyed the food before him, possibly thinking it his enemy as he did so.

The rest of the breakfast was done in relative silence, the small family enjoying themselves as much as they could.

Afterwards, Ari was deposited with his grand father, the lucky man with four beautiful grand children, and the two headed out to work with those rebuilding the palace.

***

When Thor and Loki reached it, they had expected something akin to construction, but what they saw was panic.

Jotuns were talking hurriedly, there was yelling and shouting all around. A few ran to the front of the fallen palace and Loki held out a hand, stopping Thor when he saw a groups gathered in a dip in the ground.

Above everyone, he heard Helblindi and Loki hopped off the carriage he and Thor were pulling with them, leaving his husband with the supplies they had as he made his way forward.

“What is going on here?” Loki demanded, addressing the Jotuns gathered in the group.

His voice was loud and clear, his command more so even when it was not spoken.

They turned and looked at him, those gathered and moved aside, parting so they gave him way.

Loki had expected a fight, at the most, but what he saw had him stopping cold.

There, in the middle of the gathering, facing Helblindi with all the power he had on his shoulders, stood Tyr.

His long hair blew in the wind in crimson tendrils and his blue eyes were ice, glaring Helblindi down even as he was the one who was trespassing.

When they heard Loki approach, both Helblindi and Tyr turned to face him, looking identically angered.

“He had the gall…” Tyr began

“This little fly swatter had the audacity to…” Helblindi cut in

“Silence!” Loki cut them both off, his green eyes blazing

They obeyed and Loki looked from one to the other, before he addressed those gathered around.

“Get to work” he told them, his voice loud and stern “We will take this elsewhere”

Helblindi growled and Tyr narrowed his eyes, waiting until everyone departed before they looked at Loki.

“I have come here on an urgent matter” Tyr said “I need to speak with Thor”

“Ah, traitor to enemy, how absolutely surprising” Helblindi drawled

“Helblindi you will cease your idiotic rambling before I push my fist up your arse so hard you will taste it!” Loki snapped, already frustrated with the two of them

Helblindi gaped at him and from somewhere to his left, Loki heard a snort and giggling. He turned his head, jaw inclined and the poor Jotun immediately went back to work.

Satisfied with that at least, Loki looked at Tyr

“Why do you want to speak to him?” Loki demanded

“Father has gone insane” Tyr told him bluntly “He has done something, none of us know how to deal with it. We need your help, Thor’s help, to find a way to stop him. I heard you have an army here, your palace will be protected. But you need to come with us”

Snow crunched behind Loki and Thor trudged over, looking at Tyr

“What’s the matter?” he asked

“Father” Tyr told him bluntly “Something is wrong with him. Balder, myself and my friends are here to seek refuge and aid you in bringing him down. The Kingdom is unaware of the fact that she is ruled by a mad king and I will not have it anymore. He must be stopped”

Thor’s lips were tight and he exhaled, looking at Tyr “He wants me to kill you. He came to me to force me to do it but Halvor got in the way and I am grief stricken to tell you that he died because of it. Though nothing will bring him back, perhaps the chance I seek at salvation will come from this”

This shocked them all, Thor had not told anyone. Tyr looked sick and both Helblindi and Loki stared at him.

“I should have told you sooner, Loki, forgive me” Thor said immediately, looking at the snow beneath his feet “But I thought it would serve no purpose. I wasn’t about to do it.”

“That is why he tried to kill you” Loki concluded “And instead…”

He broke off and Thor nodded, knowing what Loki was saying.

Tyr knew, too and he stepped forward “I heard about your loss. You have my deepest condolences, Balder’s too. We … We knew how much Lord Halvor meant to you”

Loki looked  at him for a few long seconds, then nodded, accepting his wishes “Thank you.”

Thor moved closer and put an arm around Loki, letting him lean on him, giving him a loving squeeze.

“You …” Loki exhaled “You should bring Balder and the others  with us. We can take you to the safe houses, it is not safe here for you, aye?”

Tyr nodded “Of course. I have them waiting behind those trees, I didn’t think I would be welcome here”

“You were not for a long time” Loki told him truthfully “but … you are changing”

He looked at Helblindi and nodded, making his brother grimace.

“Aye, thank you for the Casket”

Tyr smiled “How was it like saying that to me?”

“Like drinking poison” Helblindi rumbled

Tyr laughed at him softly “Well, assume that my being here is the same. I am little above a refugee at the moment. Poison is only the start of how I feel at the moment.”

Helblindi said nothing and Thor moved to his brother “Come on, I can show you to the safe houses but you can’t go in without a Jotun present. So you best hurry”

Tyr nodded and Thor watched him jog away to where Balder and the others were. There was something lodged in his throat and he feared it was a sentiment he didn’t want to examine too much.

Helblindi headed back to work and Loki stood by Thor, coming to lean on him again.

“You forgot me” Loki complained, wanting to ease him as he pressed against his side “I am offended”

Thor looked at him and wrapped a loving arm around his waist “Forgive me, my King, I was a foolish peasant”

Loki smiled and gently stroked Thor’s chest and belly, watching as Tyr vanished into a thickset group of trees.

“I really hope he is not tricking us” Loki told Thor

“He isn’t,” Thor told him with certainty “His intention to help is sincere”

Loki looked at him, a gentle furrow in his brow “How do you know that?”

“Because I saw in his eyes what I have seen reflected in my own for years” Thor spoke softly, watching the place his brother had gone “He had the same fear that I harboured when it came to my father. He’s desperate”

Loki nuzzled Thor’s shoulder in affection in lieu of saying anything and waited until Tyr came back.

Behind him were the saddest, hungriest bunch of warriors Loki had ever seen and he realized they had taken a big risk coming here. If Loki had turned them away, they would likely have perished in the snow.

Or something else like that.

Sif looked exhausted and Balder was limping, yet able to smile when he saw Thor. The others were in somewhat the same condition and all of them looked relieved to be here.

All of them had the same look that Tyr had in his eyes.

Thor stepped forward once more and greeted them, Loki let him, watching as he met Balder, then Sif and the others, embracing only his brother. Thor had missed him and it hurt Loki’s heart knowing that he spent six years in Asgard without Tyr and Balder’s knowledge.

It was heart breaking and Loki walked to them as well, taking Lady Sif’s hand and helping her walk on the lumpy snow. It was surprising that she let him and a testament of how desperately all of them needed help.

“Thor, make sure they are all close by” Loki told his husband “They look like they need shelter from the cold”

“And starvation” Volstagg grumbled “I have lost three pounds on this trip”

Thor laughed “Well then by all means, move faster. We will have hot dinner waiting for you in the safe houses”

Loki smiled and walked with Thor, taking the lead as they led their fellow warriors towards their temporary home.

Tyr, as they walked on, turned and looked at the palace that was being rebuilt. Helblindi was using the casket to create ice walls thicker than before and a heavy weight of guilt swept over the future king as he saw the devastation him and his family had caused these beautiful people.

***

As promised, Loki delivered a feast to the royals and their friends.

Thor sat with them, making sure everything was given to them without prejudice because Loki had to go see his son.

Laufey had him and there was no doubt that Loki would have to pry his son from his father’s hands. Laufey and Thrym loved him so much they bordered on spoiling him. And whenever Loki told them to tone it down, they argued with the fact that he was their grandchild and they had all the rights to.

Loki had not come up with a response to that yet.

His feet made almost no noise in the stone floors of the safe houses, even though it was silent and he bit his lip, not realizing he was nervous about revealing the presence of the Aesirs until he reached the door to Laufey’s chambers.

As expected, he heard laughter and talking from inside and knew that Heron and the boys were in there, too.

Loki inhaled deeply and knocked before he entered, smiling at his son when Ari saw from his play pen and screamed in delight, slapping the ground in excitement.

“Ah, there is your Dam” Laufey beamed from his spot on the ground

He sat cross legged, playing chess with Hrym and Byleistr. The twins were losing, which was very entertaining for Thrym, who was lounging on the bed where Njal napped beside him. The two looked identically lazy and Loki snorted at them.

“You look like a tick” he commented

“A happy tick” Thrym said, laying back and deciding never to move again

Rolling his eyes, Loki went to where his baby was and smiled, bending down to pick him up.

“There’s my baby” Loki cooed, kissing Ari as the baby squealed and jumped in his arms.

He craned his neck and rubbed his lips on Loki’s cheek in an attempt at a kiss and Loki smiled, kissing his head over and over.

“My beautiful baby” Loki cooed “My darling, you want to come with me? You want to go see your father?”

Ari nuzzled him, much like a cat and set his head on his shoulder, playing with Loki’s hair.

“You best hurry if you don’t want Volstagg to finish everything up before Ari can meet his family” Laufey commented without looking from the chessboard.

Loki spun around, looking at him, stumped “What…?”

“I am your father, I own every thought in your head” Laufey droned, picking up a piece and knocking down the twins’ Knight “You belong to me”

Loki blinked at him a few times then looked at Thrym, who giggled

“Helblindi told him”

“I own him, too, his thoughts are mine” Laufey said

Loki scoffed and rolled his eyes “You are ridiculous”

“Still smarter than you and …” Laufey beamed, dragging his bishop across the board to stand before the twins’ King “and two thirteen year olds, so pay up, imps!”

“No!” the two whined, falling back

Loki raised a brow as they writhed in agony, claiming Laufey cheated, claiming this was a set up.

Then he smiled when he saw them hand over their ice sweets to Laufey, who devoured them before their eyes like the beast he was.

“You are crazy” Loki told him, taking Ari to the door “I pity Njal”

Laufey only smiled, having more sweets

“Laufey has the west rooms prepared for the guests” Thrym told him “I am sorry, but there is little space to spare at the moment. They will have to share”

“I am more than grateful, you both know this” Loki stopped and looked behind him at the two “You didn’t have to do this”

Laufey shrugged “They are not a threat, why should we hurt them?”

“Why indeed” Loki said softly

He then came back and kissed Laufey on the head

“Thank you”

Laufey merely stroked his arm and shoved him back lightly

“Let me enjoy my spoils” he said “Go show off your baby”

Ari lifted his head up and looked at Laufey, blinking at the sweets

Loki chuckled “Not tonight, darling, you have to impress people.”

Ari turned to Loki, making a questioning noise and getting rewarded with a sweet nuzzle. He would settle for it, for now, but later he would demand that sweet again.

Loki might think Ari was simple enough to forget it, but he would not.

Not at all.

He watched as Loki kissed the twins, mocked them for losing until they drowned in their misery before he wished them goodbye and headed out. Since there was nothing interesting going on in the halls, Ari set his head on Loki’s shoulder and closed his eyes, wanting to rest a little before he met his father.

Ari missed Thor that was the truth. His father was soft and warm and he got scared more easily than Loki. So Ari needed him right now.

When he felt Loki stop and open a door, Ari lifted his head to see a few strangers sitting at a table, eating.

They all stopped when they saw him and Ari watched them one by one, looking for his father.

Tyr’s eyes were wide and he stood slowly, looking at Ari

“Is that…?”

Loki smiled and nodded “Your nephew, aye”

Tyr was stunned and he walked over, Balder right behind him

“Oh, he is beautiful” Tyr smiled “Hello, darling…”

He reached out for him and Ari pulled away uncertainly.

He had never seen this man before and was understandably hesitant.

“It’s alright” Loki cooed, kissing his son’s head “I’m right here”

He handed Ari to Tyr and the man looked right about to pass out as Ari stared at him, his eyes big and blue.

“Oh by the norns…” Tyr whispered

Balder was grinning, unable to stop and he reached out to stroke Ari’s cheek. Ari turned to look at him, then back at Tyr, trying to understand them.

“He looks just like you” Tyr looked at Thor “He’s just like you”

Thor, who had come up beside Loki to place an arm around him, smiled “Well, I did make him so I am not surprised”

There was laughter in the room before the others stood to have a better look at Ari and meet him.

And Ari was war of them all…

Until he saw Sif.

The warrior was smiling at him and Ari immediately held out his arms, leaning over to her until Tyr passed him to her.

“Oh, the little flirt is after your girl, Balder” Fandral teased the prince

And Balder laughed because Ari was completely smitten. He placed his hands on either side of Sif’s face and rubbed her cheeks, smiling and cooing at her.

“You have to find a new one, mate” Tyr nudged Balder “Sif belongs to him now”

Sif couldn’t stop smiling and she cooed at Ari, kissing his head and holding him close. It delighted him to no end and he hid his face in her neck, holding on tight.

“Thor, our heartiest of congratulations for having him” Hogun told Thor “This is truly amazing”

Thor felt his cheeks hurt from how much he was smiling and as they sat down, he noticed that Ari was sitting in Sif’s lap, eating whatever food she mashed and gave to him.

“Thor, look at how happy he is” Loki said, sitting next to Thor “He’s enjoying himself so much”

Well, why wouldn’t he? Ari was a prince and he was finally being treated as such. He deserved the attention and cooing, so he took it all on, smiling and laughing with the adults.

His parents were there, leaning on one another, kissing and talking softly so Ari would make them pay for ignoring him later tonight.

Right now he needed this, he needed to be spoiled and loved. So he took the attention and allowed the peasant people to seat him in their laps or hold him in their arms.

As they ate and cooed at him, Ari started to pay attention to the pretty peasant. She was different than all the others and Ari liked her best. She was softer and had two pillows Ari could rest his head on, which was missing on Loki.

He would have to do something about that later in his life.

But as of now, he was slowly starting to get lethargic as he lay his head down and sucked on his thumb.

Their talk dimmed a little as the servants came to clear everything up until they realized they had to talk about what they came here for. And whether they liked it or not, it was not going to be easy.

Tyr looked disturbed the most, obviously because of what Thor had told him. The fear that Thor saw in his eyes was clearer now and the youngest Odinson sighed.

“We need a plan if we are going to do this” he said

“There is no if,” Balder said “We have to. We do not have a choice as of this moment. As horrible as it sounds, we need to find a way to stop him.”

“By any means necessary” Tyr told them “no matter how drastic they are”

This was a sombre occasion and Loki sighed

“We have to find out what he is planning first” he said “and wait until the army from the north comes over to stay. Hopefully, the palace will be inhabitable by then”

“We hope so, otherwise housing so many people will become difficult” Thor added “Perhaps if we snuck into Asgard…”

“No,” Tyr said firmly “He is well aware of what is happening. Our presence in the palace will not go unnoticed by him. And you can be assured that he will attack”

“We have to find a way to sneak in and …” Balder started

“Perhaps not”

They turned to Loki when he spoke. He was thinking, scratching his lip a little as he thought.

“What if…” Loki began “We do the exact opposite? Go in loud and clear, then…”

“Then get blown to bits by his sceptre” Sif cut in

“Nay, lady” Loki said “A few of us will go in, the brothers Odinson will sneak in when we lure Odin out.”

Tyr frowned “Pardon? Sneak in where?”

“That, my friend” Loki smiled at him “is the fun part”

It was delightful for Loki to see the concern and worry on everyone’s faces and he leaned over.

“Now, this is what we do” he said

Even Ari listened, noting the faces of his parents and the peasant people carefully and memorizing all detail so he would also have something to add.

Which, it turned out, was a rather nice surprise in his diaper halfway through Loki’s plan.

And Thor had to clean it.

***

The spells had made him weak, Fimbulvetr noticed and he was stumbling about, getting weaker.

It was a shame he wasn’t giving into his sleep, it would make things so much easier.

Odin was panting as he sat on the edge of the bed Frigga laying beside him. She was unconscious once more, but thankfully cleaned of everything that had been on her.

Blood and … whatever it was.

Fimbulvetr, once more a mist before Odin, sighed before he floated closer.

“You need to hurry up” he said “She lacks time. What you saw was her draugr rising from within. She needs the magic I possess but I cannot give it until I have a functioning body, Odin. You have to get me that Jotun”

Odin nodded “Aye, I will … I will let her rest and get my energy before I get you the body.”

“At the moment, I am weak” Fimbulvetr told him “Hel is pulling me back, I need a form right now, something, anything to get me to transport myself here. I lack time, too”

Odin sighed “I am aware but if I choose from my people, there will be talk. They are already talking about how I am an incompetent King, there are rumours about me I do not care for”

“And your own emotions are in turmoil” Fimbulvter said “I have a host in mind, all I need if your permission to take him from your side and use him”

Odin looked at him and frowned “Who do you speak of?”

Fimbulvetr let out a delighted purr and knew he had his permission.

It was as though he knew what was to happen next and Odin watched as the doors to his room shook, signalling the opening of a portal.

His eye widened as he realized who Fimbulvetr meant and he watched as Azure walked through the portal.

“Majesty” he said “I know where they are and what they have planned.”

Odin looked at him and nodded “Aye, take him”

Azure frowned and a second later something hard hit him right in the chest. He was thrown off his feet, landing on the floor, hard, his breath knocked from him.

A second later, he started screaming in agony and sick, cracking noises sounded from his body. Odin looked away from the sight and not a moment later, the wall beside his writhing body became covered in a spray of blood.

 

 

 


	24. Chapter 24

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Oh, crud...

The bath was nice and warm, Thor hummed as he enjoyed it, the water, the scents, the feel of his lover against his chest.

The two of them were in the tub, filling it with lovely warm water, scented and sweet. Beside them, were the oils that they both preferred and in their bed, right where they could see him if they leaned back, was Ari, playing with his toys, talking and murmuring to himself.

It had been two days since Ari was introduced to Sif and the others, two days since they had come up with their plan to get into Asgard’s palace and stop Odin.

The plan was rather simple – if one was Loki. For those who were not Loki, it was suicide.

As Tyr had so eloquently pointed it out, it was akin to running full speed into a wall and bashing their heads in.

Of course there was disagreement on that because Loki’s plan, though seemingly impossible, was actually a very good way for them to get what they wanted. It was so bold and so daring that Odin would be taken off guard.

Thor had agreed, but he didn’t matter apparently because he was biased.

It was true, but no one would be able to prove it, really.

They had decided to go to the palace tonight, which was why Loki and Thor were enjoying a nice hot soak before lunch, the two of them, playing and talking to one another.

Ari was likely about to fall asleep, which was why they felt safe enough to leave him be, so for the moment, they were alone.

The water rippled when Thor put his hand in and pulled Loki’s out, looking at his tapered, pale fingers. He smiled and brought them to his lips to kiss and Loki pressed back against him, looking at their knees as they stayed a little above the water, knocking against the others’ gently.

“You have such beautiful hands” Thor said, pulling Loki further back against his chest “And such beautiful feet”

Loki smiled “Well, growing up and looking at Tyr’s hands and feet, I am not surprised that you find mine so lovely”

Thor rumbled in laughter, Loki feeling the delicious tremor go down his back.

“You are a cheeky one, do you know that?” Thor asked, kissing his shoulder “And think yourself very smart”

Loki sighed, as though explaining this to a fool “I have told you before, Thor – I am smart and you are the pretty one. I can’t say it again and again”

Thor grinned “Ah, of course, it is why you wed me, after all”

“No, I wed you to have Ari” Loki said “I can do many things, Thor, but having a babe all by myself was difficult. I needed the perfect specimen.”

“So I am the perfect specimen?” Thor asked “I am flattered, I must say”

“Well, one of the few” Loki told him, superiority in his words “There are other contenders”

“Of course there are” Thor nodded “I would never have dreamed that I was the only one interested in this!”

Loki yelped when Thor reached down and pinched his bottom, splashing the water about. Thor laughed and looked at Ari, in case he heard the yelp and got disturbed.

But his little demon was not moving, holding his toy as he slept and Thor knew that if Ari was anything like him, he was not going to move until supper.

The boy liked his naps, just like Thor.

Loki twisted to glare at him and Thor laughed when Loki splashed water at him, raising his hand before his face.

“What?” Thor chuckled “You like this, remember how you liked it when I did it at…”

“Thor!” Loki snarled, slapping more water at him “Behave!”

“Why?” Thor said, taking his wrists and lowering his hands “It makes you blush so…Alright!”

Thor laughed loudly when Loki turned around fully to attack him and the two ended up with Loki between Thor’s legs, hovering over him while Thor pretended to cower.

His large hands were at his waist and he looked into Loki’s eyes, trying to look frightened, but by the look on Loki’s face, he was anything but.

Loki had a hand raised, ready to smack Thor and for a second, neither of them moved.

Then Thor decided to be suicidal and lowered his hand to Loki’s bottom and pinched him.

The resulting shriek that came from the younger man when Loki rained upon him the affronted smacks of a thousand angry men, was loud enough to echo in the bathroom and shrill enough to have Loki smiling and laughing as he beat him.

“Apologize, you perverted ass!” Loki demanded “Apologize!”

“Never!” Thor said, trying to grab his wrists again “You will have to make me, old man!”

They wrestled like children, splashed water everywhere and laughed, enjoying themselves, despite how silly it all was.

It was only when Thor managed to pin Loki down against the edge of the tub and bracket his legs with his knees that they stopped and Loki huffed as Thor sat in his lap, smiling down at him, his hair wet, his lips curved into the biggest smile he had seen as of late.

It made it rather hard for Loki to glare at him because Thor looked so lovely this way. Yet he managed to give Thor a mild sort of look, which the man completely ignored, evident by the way he lowered his head and kissed Loki on the lips.

His soft, gentle mouth touched Loki’s and the older man closed his eyes for a second, enjoying it, until Thor pulled away.

“Mhmm…” Loki whispered “Why did you stop?”

Thor smiled, letting go of Loki’s wrists to place his hands on either side of his hips, both of them half in and half out of the water.

“Well…” Thor said, nuzzling his throat and placing soft kisses there “I called you old and you wanted to make me pay for it…”

Loki tipped his head back, biting his lip when Thor bit the sensitive spot behind his ear “Oh? And how will I do that?”

Thor breathed down his neck before he kissed his shoulder “You have a few bad ideas”

“Do I ?”

“Yes” Thor moved lower, to his chest and Loki arched his back, the water rippling around them “And one of them I rather like”

“Which is that one, pray tell…” Loki breathed, moving his legs further apart when Thor prompted him to “Because I do have some standards”

“Standards?” Thor laughed, his lips at the place where Loki’s body went beneath the water.

His breath moved over the warm water, before Thor smiled and kissed Loki’s chest, taking a deep breath and slipping under the water silently.

Loki dipped a hand down to grasp at Thor’s hair as it moved in the waves beneath the water’s surface. He hissed, his teeth digging into his lips when he felt Thor’s hot mouth on his belly, biting him, he sighed as Thor’s hands moved around his hips and held on.

The next second, Loki gasped as Thor yanked him close, surging out of the water, yanking him close as he kissed him.

Loki hummed and shut his eyes, smiling when Thor pulled away.

“I was rather ambitious” Thor panted “But what I have in mind requires us to be in bed. My punishment is well and all but I would rather not drown as I do it”

Loki grinned and shook his head at the charming little Aes he had. He ran a hand through his wet hair, pushing it off his face before he nodded.

“Then that would require you taking our little bundle of joy and putting him in his bed so we have privacy” he cooed “And hurry up with the bath, I am starting to wrinkle”

Thor’s eyes twinkled and he grinned “Well that can’t be helped with you being so old and…”

He barked in laughter when Loki was upon him again, beating him into submission and sitting on him at one point until he apologized and swore to do as he was ordered to.

Not that Thor minded, Loki was his life.

As much as he loved him, torment was just another part of that.

***

Thor’s lips were swollen and tender, but after seeing what his attentions were doing to Loki, he knew he couldn’t stop.

His husband had a hand clenched in his hair, running his fingers over his scalp as the other was latched onto Thor’s gold locks, keeping him where he wanted.

Loki’s face was flushed, he was panting heavily, his feet digging into the bedding, his eyes shut, his mouth parted, wet and slick, just like him.

Thor was between his legs, using his mouth on Loki’s heated erection as he continued to pleasure him. He had never done this to Loki before, never. Loki had not asked, Thor had not thought of it.

It was only as he grew older and heard the escapades of those much older and more experienced than him that he realized this could work too.

And though at the start it was a little rough, he managed to understand how to work his throat and mouth.

And he did it very well if Loki’s current state was anything to go by.

Thor hollowed his cheeks out to suck harder and Loki let out a loud, gasp, bucking his hips. He wanted more and Thor felt his hand pull at his hair, demanding he obey him.

So he did.

Pulling away, Thor licked Loki’s slick need from base to tip, then nipped down it, making Loki writhe and gasp so hard that it reverberated through Thor’s body.

It was highly arousing and Thor licked him, nipped him, then pulled him back into his mouth to pay attention so.

Loki had his arm over his eyes, his chest moved heavily as he panted and gasped for breath. His nails dug into Thor’s scalp, then his shoulders and when Loki could take no more, when he couldn’t even breathe without having some sort of release, Thor pulled back and moved up Loki’s body, kissing his belly, his ribs, his chest, his shoulders and neck until he felt Loki give that choked cry and paint them both with his release.

He could barely speak and Thor was not done with him.

The moment Loki came down from his high, Thor spread his legs once more. Loki keened, shaking his head

“Too much…” he whispered “Give me a moment….”

Thor paused, kissing his neck, his jaw and shoulders, waiting for Loki to catch up to him.

After all, they had been at this for about an hour and Loki had barely had a chance to breathe.

Loki ran his hand through Thor’s hair, he scratched his scalp, then his back because he knew Thor loved it. He stroked his arms, his chest and gave him as much affection as his energy allowed.

He was exhausted and in the most delicious way possible…Thor had done well. He continued to do so as he nipped and bit his neck now.

A few minutes later he hummed and tightened his knees around Thor’s waist, making him look up.

“I’m ready” he purred

Thor smiled and buried his face into Loki’s neck as he pushed into his slick heat, groaning at the tightness that surrounded him and the way Loki’s nails raked down his back. He kissed his skin, licked it and made sure he went slow so Loki enjoyed it despite saying it was too much.

Thor bucked his hips and Loki gasped at the pleasure he got, pulling him closer as their pace steadied, then got faster and faster.

Their bed started to hit the wall behind them with their weight, their wet gasps, their loving words and sounds of their love filled the room. Loki clung to Thor, panting into his ear as they continued, as Thor pushed in and out of him, as he loved him, cherished him and made sure Loki knew it.

His kisses were soft, is bites were hard, the startling contrast kept Loki on edge, kept him releasing those sounds Thor loved, that voice, that passion and that adoration that Loki always held for him.

And when they released, the two of them were a mess of kisses, limbs and love, not willing to part from one another, not willing to leave the other for even a moment, not willing to stop their kissing for fear that they would miss it.

Thor moved off Loki, their lips connected, their breath mingling with each other for a while before they parted. He lay his head on the pillows and watched Loki, who was propped on his side, looking down at him. The young man smiled when Loki placed a hand over his cheek, stroking his tender lips. They were swollen because of the attention given to them and Loki smiled gently, kissing them.

Thor started when he felt soothing, cooling magic touch his lips from Loki’s and healed the swelling. He touched them and watched Loki lay down, both touched and surprised.

“I love you” Thor whispered, moving closer “I love you so much”

Loki smiled, running his fingertips over Thor’s features, just looking at him “Not as much as I love you, my darling”

“Impossible” Thor said “I would die for you”

“And I would live, just for you” Loki whispered setting his hand over his head, just stroking his forehead “Just for you”

Thor put his hand on Loki’s, grasping it gently to bring to his lips so he could kiss it.

Loki watched him kiss and nibble on his fingertips one by one, giving them to him as he slowly started to doze off.

He felt Thor pull him closer after a little while and though he shifted, he didn’t move and Thor got to hold him all night as they slept together.

***

Peasants…

All of them, peasants.

Soft headed, selfish and very stupid, if he was to judge. They thought themselves important, they thought their lives were their own and it angered him, it frustrated him to know end.

He would see them pay, reduced to desperation for what they had dared to do.

They had no idea of the power he wielded, what he was capable of doing. That was the only reason they had the audacity to put him where he was, to look at  him as they were, laughing, smiling, taunting him!

How dare they!?

He was going to smite them all, he was going to make sure they feel his ire and the moment they are desperate and broken because of it, he was going to strike and bring them down in a way they have never before experienced.

He was going to rule them, he was their leader, their king and their sovereign.

And though their idiocy was making it difficult for them to understand this, he was going to make sure that their tiny minds knew that.

One way or the other, he was going to make sure of it.

He was burdened with glorious purpose and he was going to fulfil that purpose, no matter what.

His face was a mask of rage, his eyes burning holes in their stupid peasant faces as he glared at them.

And they had the daring to stare right back at him.

“Oh, look at how angry he is”

Ari bit his pacifier, looking towards Loki, who spoke, his tiny face contorted with the rage he felt.

He smacked his hands on the condescending table attached to this stupid, unreasonably elevated chair he was forced into. There was a stupid belt around his waist, preventing him from going to his love, his heart, his peasant Sif.

He growled at them and Thor chuckled.

“My gods” he laughed “He looks right about to kill us…makes me want to mess with him”

“Don’t you dare!” Loki told him from where he was preparing Ari’s cereal “If he starts crying, you are the only one who will be responsible for making it stop”

Thor waved a hand at Loki and looked at his baby son, watching him despise the high chair crafted for him.

It was Heron’s idea, something to give both parents – and Sif – relief for when they ate dinner or lunch. Ari, though a gem in their eyes, was a destructive factor at the table. He has started throwing things to the floor and that was unacceptable.

Loki had asked for a solution and Heron had delivered.

It was this useful and charming little chair, which gave Ari his space and gave them the peace they needed to eat.

And Ari _hated_ it.

He hated it so much he looked ready to explode and when Thor reached over to stroke his cheek, he snarled and slapped his hand away, glaring at him, daring him to do more.

Thor burst out laughing and Loki smacked the back of his head

“Don’t!” Loki scolded “Why do you want him to cry?”

“Him?” Thor pointed to Ari, watching Loki walk around the table to sit with them “You think he is going to cry? He looks more likely to bite my head off”

“And for good reason” Loki told Thor, sitting in the chair next to Ari and turning Ari’s towards himself “I should let him loose on you”

He reached over to take Ari’s pacifier, which the babe allowed – angrily – then spooned his cereal for him, watching him take his first bite – angrily.

Loki snickered “Look, he’s just staring at you”

“He’s glaring” Thor corrected “The little demon thinks he can scare me”

Thor moved his chair closer to Ari’s and braced his elbows on his knees to lean closer to Ari, staring right back into his eyes.

Loki rolled his eyes and gave Ari another bite, which the boy ate, watching his father carefully.

He looked unbelievably adorable, nothing like the evil mastermind he was in reality, gumming on the food before he swallowed and opened his mouth again, matching Thor minute to minute with his glare.

Thor, however, snorted and started laughing when Ari opened his tiny mouth for more food.

“He’s a menace!”

“Aye, he’s probably thinking the same about you” Loki said, giving Ari more.

Thor couldn’t stop giggling and watched his son finish up, then have his mouth wiped by Loki.

There was no mess on the table, nothing was broken and Ari was defeated.

Fine, he thought, as Loki freed him. They could have this little victory, but Ari knew that he was going to win the war.

He was set down in his pen and immediately began to plot his plan. He used his minions for aid, setting them one beside the other, talking and cooing to them.

Loki stood over him, arms crossed around his waist as he watched, a smile upon his lips.

Thor came over to stand beside him and Loki leaned on him, the two of them watching Ari together.

“Isn’t he adorable?” Loki said “And such a darling, smart child, look at how he is lining his toys up”

“Well, I made him” Thor boasted “I am not surprised”

“Supplied the batter, really” Loki drawled “It was I who made the entire thing what it is. If it was just the batter, nothing would have happened”

Thor inclined his jaw, trying to think of a response.

“Forget it, you can’t refute that fact” Loki spoke without looking at him “If you didn’t pop him out, you cannot win”

Thor laughed softly and kissed his head “Alright, I will let you have this victory”

“Let me?” Loki looked at him, brows raised “Pardon me, Sir, but when have you ever ‘let me’ do anything?”

“Last night” Thor purred “When I let you ride me like a…”

“Thor!” Loki shoved him, his face turning red “Don’t say such things! Not before Ari, by the gods!”

Thor started laughing, especially when Loki patted his cheeks, trying to soothe them.

“Norns, you have no manners” Loki complained

Thor took it in good grace and ran a hand through his hair as Loki calmed himself down.

“Uhm…” Thor said, massaging his neck “How … you never gave me the details of … of how he was born. I know some of it, I … would you consider telling me?”

Loki, who was patting his cheeks to get rid of the blush Thor so easily put there, turned to look at him.

“Ari?” he asked, just a little surprised “I told you, he was…”

“Nay, I know that” Thor stepped closer and looked at him “I – I want to know it all…if it is alright with you”

He gently lowered Loki’s hands from his face and set his own palms against his cheeks, making him look at him.

He kissed his lips and stroked his high cheekbones with his thumb, showing him affection every way he could.

It still made Loki blush and Thor loved him more for it. It was a wondrous thing for him to have this sort of control over Loki.

Loki, the calm ruler of this desolate land, was putty in Thor’s hands at night.

It was something he was rather proud of, if Thor was honest and though he wanted to point it out and boast about his ability, he knew right now was not the time.

Right now, he wanted Loki to answer.

He wanted to know what he had done to Loki that night and what had happened, when he had no idea what reality and fantasy was.

Loki exhaled and looked at him, his breath hitting Thor’s lips as he did so. His green eyes held no resentment and Thor smirked a little, when he rolled them, as though holding a great burden.

“Alright, then” Loki said “Sit on the bed and I will tell you. But be warned, this is not a happy tale”

Thor nodded, kept his remarks to himself and went to obey, sitting on the bed as Loki paced before him, going back into time, not so long ago, when they hated one another and stood as enemies.

**That night…**

The sounds of battle waged in the air, the scent of blood and death attached itself to the snow and ground harsh enough to never leave. Metal crashed against metal, the air was thick with tears, blood and the screams that seemed to be never ending.

Unbridled chaos littered the field where they two worlds clashed, where one enemy fought the other. Fires lit up broken, torn carriages, the ground was devoid of snow, it was burning, it was killing and every single man or woman fighting on the field was desperate to kill, to win and go home.

They wanted their families, the war had been going on for months, those who fought were tired, those who didn’t, were dead.

They lay in graves, dug haphazardly, all of them put in because the war didn’t allow their comrades to be respectful.

All they did was fight, all they did was kill, day in day out, for months.

All of them were _desperate_.

Swords clashed with one another and none of the Jotuns were spared. All of them, those who were ready and able, fought with the never ending Aesir, the royal family was ahead of them all, leading them to try and stop the bloodshed – they had no hope of winning.

Where the Aesir had their never ending army, the Jotuns had their anger, rage and their magic.

The only weapon that they had, worth using on the Aesir was proving to be strong today. Laufey had it in his hands, using it to freeze the Aesir warriors in place while the others broke them to pieces, killed them without thinking twice.

They were defending these lands, their lives from these invaders.

The invaders brought forth by the traitorous Thor Odinson himself.

The Spare Son had betrayed not only his spouse and King, he had betrayed them all, betrayed the people who showed him kindness, gave him a home and made sure he never felt hated.

Only now, he deserved to be and he was hated, by the entire realm, but most of all by his lover, his husband and the man he had sworn his loyalty to.

Loki had been hurt, broken, forced to fight against the man he loved to protect his home and kingdom, he had been forced to make a choice, his hand all but made to raise his blades against the one man he had protected all his life.

Thor Odinson.

His lover.

His staff glowed with magic, sparking and shooting flashes of magic towards his enemies when they clashed together. His anger was clear as he blasted enemy after enemy away from him, heading towards the safe houses.

They were standing before it like a wall, incapable of moving out of the way themselves. He had to make them, force them and kill them if he had to.

He needed to get to his safe house.

He couldn’t spare to wait.

Loki snarled, his battle armour shining with blood as he bashed the end of his staff into the jaw of another opponent and sent him flying back. His back met the ice with the force of Loki’s determination to push past his enemies and go to where he was safe.

He had to!

The path somewhat cleared, Loki fled ahead, keeping his magic focused on himself, keeping his illusion up.

Norns only knew what would happen should the enemy find his secret out.

Surely, he would be killed.

The pain in his body was not decreasing, with every desperate step he took, he felt it become more and more unbearable, he felt himself grow weaker and weaker in his magic.

His legs shook but he moved onwards, hitting those who didn’t move away until their legs buckles and they fell to the ice, clutching the wounds he inflicted on them.

Their blood painted the ice, but Loki didn’t care.

He had to get back.

The war zone was slowly becoming scarce and Loki thought himself freed of it, picking up his pace as his hope rose.

He would be safe!

His baby was going to be safe from those plundering monsters and…

Loki broke off, gasping and all but falling back when a huge figure landed before him, the thrum of the legendary Mjolnir accompanying him.

The ground hit him hard and Loki cried out as the pain became worse. His staff fell from his grip and he curled to the side, his arm cradling his middle over his armour.

He didn’t have the strength to keep the illusion going.

He looked at Thor as he waited for the pain to leave him and hissed in agony when he came closer.

The babe was kicking inside him, Loki was ready to birth him, his body would not wait for long.

His contractions were closer together now and he _had_ to get back!

Thor looked down at him, his eyes empty, dead and gone and took another step closer, watching him slide away.

Either he didn’t see Loki’s bump or he didn’t care, but he stepped closer, his hand holding Mjolnir, ready to do serious damage.

Loki glared at him, but he couldn’t help but cry out when Thor grabbed him and stood him up, looking into his face

“The Casket” Thor demanded “Where is it?”

Loki glared at him, tears in his eyes “I’ll never tell”

He grit his teeth at the pain that came from yet another contraction and he almost passed out from it. It was becoming harder to keep from screaming.

Thor gave him a shake and growled “I do not have time for your games, Loki! Tell me where it is and stop this madness!”

“Madness?” Loki panted “You think this is madness? This is war, brought here by you and no one else!”

In his next breath, Thor cried out as something sharp dug right where he had no armour. He gasped and released Loki, falling back and touching his ribs.

And there, bloodied and slim, was Loki’s dagger.

Thor looked up and saw Loki stumble away, holding his staff to him.

Snarling in anger, Thor ran after him, his hammer in his hand, wanting to kill him.

Loki knew he was behind him and dropped all grace, waddling as fast as he could to his own army.

“Helblindi!” he screamed, his face terrified when he saw his brother “Help me!”

Helblindi turned and he paled, his eyes going wide when he saw Loki _pregnant Loki_ running as fast as he could.

And behind him was Thor, slowly gaining speed.

His battle lust rejuvenated, Helblindi slammed his fist into his opponent’s face and sent her flying back before he went to aid Loki.

Loki, who was evading Thor’s grip as the man came to him.

Yet he screamed when Thor grabbed his hair and pulled him down in the snow, the two of them falling together. Thor’s elbow connected with Loki’s belly and went pain swimming through him.

The baby began to kick frantically and another fear gripped Loki mercilessly by the throat.

“Let me go!” he shoved Thor off

He didn’t wait and he felt Thor’s hand brush his as he crawled away and to his feet, but he didn’t stop.

For his part, Thor had frozen and in that time, Loki was gone. His blue eyes were wide in realization and he looked around at the war, the devastation and it hit him hard.

It was _real_.

All of this was real!

It wasn’t an illusion.

The truth hit him hard, but when he looked up he saw Loki running away from him, running as fast he could.

“Loki, wait!”

Thor, uncaring of anything, rushed after him, wanting to tell him everything.

He was faster, which was unusual and he grabbed Loki by the wrist, pulling him back.

He heard the scream Loki gave as the man once more fell to the ice and Thor pulled him closer, a thousand words ready to leave his lips.

Yet they never did.

A roar of anger sounded from the side and Thor looked up in time to be tackled by Helblindi as the man lunged at him, slamming him down and punching him in the jaw so hard Thor saw stars.

“You stay away from him!” Helblindi shouted at him, punched him once more for good measure before he got off him.

Thor groaned, dazed and unable to see properly. He’d cut his head, blood was seeping into his eyes so when he looked up to see where Loki went, he couldn’t, not really.

Which was a blessing for the King of Jotunhiem.

Loki held Helblindi’s shoulder as his brother carried him, running as fast as he could. His entire body was hurting and he could feel the babe inside him move more frantically than before.

It was like he was writhing in pain and Loki grit his teeth, not even hearing his brother.

“You didn’t tell anyone!” Helblindi scolded “You stupid idiot! You are pregnant! You are in labour! How long was this happening for?”

“Long … enough…” Loki croaked, his nails digging into Helblindi’s shoulder.

Helblindi’s lips were tight, but he said nothing as he carried him past their army towards the safe houses.

They were hidden in the mountains and Helblindi didn’t even hesitate as he ran into them, feeling the magic let him in.

“Help!” he called “Healers! I need healers!”

His voice echoed through the narrow halls as he bolted inside, making the Jotuns hiding there come out to see.

They stared in shock and awe as Loki was carried to the healers, Helblindi bleeding and tired.

Loki ignored them all as he was brought in and settled on the healer’s table.

They had the most basic equipment and he whined in pain, a hand on his middle as they stared in horror.

“Stop standing there, do something!” Helblindi shouted “He is in labour!”

That got them moving and Loki lay back, feeling them take his armour off.

His clothes were wet beneath them, a little blood on them, but nothing else. He felt them prepare him, felt them come closer, give him medicines that he didn’t even taste.

It was horrid, the entire thing.

He thought he was going to die until a gentle hand rested on his head and he looked up to see Heron.

A whimper escaped him and Heron stroked his head

“Be calm” he soothed “All will be well, aye? You will be fine”

He held Loki when Loki asked for it and calmed him when Loki cried as he felt them slice into him, giving him only the necessary amount of numbing balms and potions.

The others would need them too and it wasn’t like they could just import more.

They were in the middle of a war.

Heron brushed Loki’s tears as he held him, afraid, scared and looking vulnerable. The healers were making quick work of it and Loki let out a sob.

“Please…” he begged “Please, be alive, be alive, please…”

Heron looked at him, his heart breaking when he realized he was talking to his baby. He was afraid he wouldn’t make it.

“Please” Loki begged “Be alive…be alive…”

It barely took twenty minutes, the healers worked carefully, cutting Loki open and pulling the babe out. They handed him to another Jotun to clean and bathe and went to work on fixing Loki.

But Loki’s eyes were wide, fixed on his baby.

“Why isn’t he crying?” he whimpered “Why isn’t he crying!?”

Heron calmed him down when Loki reached for his baby “Loki, Loki, please calm down!”

“No!” Loki shouted “He isn’t crying, my baby! My baby…!”

The Jotun carrying the child looked scared, looking at the bloody child in his arms, then at Loki, who was being held down so he could be sedated.

“My baby!” Loki yelled “Why isn’t he crying!?”

They calmed Loki down, forced him to take a sedative, but he did not stop screaming.

Not until he heard it, the soft, distant cry that signalled that his baby was alive, despite what happened.

Despite being born in a war, his babe was alive.

Loki’s world was turning black and he allowed them to push him down on the bed so they could stitch him up.

Heron stayed by his side, kissing his head, brushing his hair back and watching Loki fall asleep, tears on his cheeks. His eyes shut and it seemed that all his troubles left him, possibly, to come back another day.

**Now…**

The silence set in the room after the tale was broken when Loki heard a sniffle and he turned to look at Thor, saw him wipe his eyes and look away. His cheeks were shining with tears and Loki sighed, coming to embrace him.

“Come here” he said softly, holding him close.

Thor needed no invitation, his arms went around Loki and he held him tightly, his eyes shut, his body shaking.

He said no words, at the moment he could not, and Loki didn’t pressure him.

Telling him the truth was perhaps cruel, but he had a right to know. Not because it would cause him to regret what he had done more, rather to ensure that Loki was honest with him.

Thor had his agony, Loki had his.

It was as simple as that.

Thor inhaled sharply and Loki cradled his head, kissing his hair “Calm, breathe my darling, breathe…”

He rubbed circles on his back as Thor tried to calm himself.

Learning all this was hard, no doubt, it would be yet another scar on Thor’s spirit. But it would fade into insignificance, as did all the others.

All he needed was time.

Loki cooed at him, calmed him, assured him that he was there.

He let him know that he was there. For him.

Thor needed to know that Loki was and would always be there for him.

When he was calmer, and it didn’t happen quickly, Loki kissed his forehead, stroked his cheeks and smiled.

“Let me get you some water, aye?” he asked softly “Then you can calm yourself down”

Thor nodded and slowly slipped his arms away from Loki so he could go get him the promised water. Once he was gone, Thor wiped his eyes and got to his feet, brushing his hair back and pressing the backs of his hands against his cheeks. They were hot and he needed to cool them so he wouldn’t feel like an idiot.

His blue eyes went to Loki, who was in the corner of the room, pouring water for him.

He smiled at his back, his hair, the graceful way he did something so simple and walked to him.

But Thor had barely taken a step when something shifted in the shade beside Loki. It made Thor freeze and he looked, the colour draining from his face when he saw Azure part from the shadows as though he was melded into them.

“Loki! Look out!” he shouted, striding forth.

Loki had time only to jolt and turn when Azure was upon him, a shroud of black thrown upon him.

“No!” Thor screamed, running to pull it off.

But when he did, he held only a cloth in his hands, which faded to dust as he stared at the spot where Loki had been not two seconds ago.

He wasn’t there anymore and the only evidence left behind was the broken glass of water Loki intended to give Thor and the dust left behind by that dark, dark magic.

***

There was darkness, engulfing him, smothering him and making it difficult to think, to even breathe.

There was no space, no time, no land, nothing solid that he could take comfort from, it was like he was floating in the abyss, nothing there but uncertainty, no one there but him.

There were realms beneath him, floating around him, a trillion worlds for him to see. They were reflected in his eyes as he looked at them.

Peaceful, it was so calm and peaceful that despite him being lost, he felt it.

And yet, it was not all he felt.

Something was with him, surrounding him, he could not see.

It was climbing up his arm like an angry, hateful presence but Loki was unable to see it. He felt it hold his arm, his ankles, touching him, moving over and around him.

He started to fight it, pushing back, hitting it, clawing at it where he could. He felt its skin beneath his nails but there was nothing there.

But at the same time, there was.

The creature, whatever it was, started to get stronger and Loki growled, fighting against it, unaware that he was trapped in his own mind, his body in the clutches of his husband’s evil father.

“Fight him!” Odin snarled, watching as Fimbulvetr pressed Loki down on the table, trying to get him to stop fighting.

The Jotun was strong and the spell Fimbulvetr was trying to force into him was being rejected. Loki was fighting him with everything he had.

He had not expected this.

“He isn’t letting me!” Fimbulvetr shouted “Don’t stand there, help me!”

Odin was in no shape to.

Frigga was taking a toll on him, he looked weak, haggard and right about to fall. He was not taking Odinsleep, which he desperately needed and he was fighting, non stop with the forces that wanted to take her away from him.

And the fact that Frigga had no control over herself, over her impulses to turn dark, was making everything a thousand times worse. It was terrible.

There were scratch marks on his face, he looked weak, thin and when Fimbulvetr asked him to help, he looked at him.

“You – You can bring her back then?” he asked, his voice shaking “If I help you, aye? You will bring her back?”

“Of course!” Fimbulvetr snapped “She will be as she was before now hurry up!”

Odin stumbled forward, looking at Loki. He could feel his legs tremble and he ignored it, raising his hand over Loki’s chest, a red spell cradled in his hand.

It was the same as the one Fimbulvetr held over Loki and he looked at him through Azure’s eyes.

“We push them in together” he said “Aye?”

Odin nodded shakily and waited.

Fimbulvetr took a deep breath and nodded “Now!”

They forced the spells into Loki, watching them vanish beneath his clothes.

And Loki screamed, increasing his struggling. His eyes were shut and he fought them, still, trying to get that thing off.

He saw it now, black, its red glowing eyes over him. They were focused on him and Loki hissed, holding its wrist up and away from himself as they floated in space. Here, the two of them were equal, lost with no gravity, nothing to hold on to.

The creature smiled, its teeth glinting in the dim space that was around them. It looked at him and opened its mouth, sickly acid dripping from its fangs down on Loki and he howled in agony as it ripped him apart.

Up with Odin and Fimbulvetr, Loki’s struggles turned to pained convulsions, his eyes rolled back in his head as he started to spasm on the floor, jerking on the table, thrashing and choking.

Fimbulvetr smiled and looked at Odin.

“It’s happening” he said “It’s finally happening”

“What is?” Odin panted

“He’s finally dying”

In his mind, Loki screamed when the creature bit his neck, started to drink his blood.

“Get off me!”

It didn’t matter, Loki was going to lose, he was becoming weaker.

Odin looked behind him, to where Frigga watched, her eyes wide.

She knew he was doing this for her, but it was terrifying, more so when Loki was hit by painful tremors, his body jumping off the table, hitting it again and again until Fimbulvetr strapped it down.

“We just hold on for a few more minutes” he said “I can feel his life leave him”

Odin said nothing, watching as he convulsed and struggled, his head moving to and fro.

This was it.

Fimbulvetr would take his body and use Loki’s magic to bring Frigga back, his Frigga, no one else.

All he needed was the precious few moments required to…

The windows shattered behind them and Odin yelled in surprise, turning to see Tyr swing in, a thick rope held in his hands as he made straight for Fimbulvetr. His booted foot hit the demon right in the face and sent him sprawling over Loki, who was still convulsing and writhing in pain on the table, held down by harsh straps.

Tyr fell and rolled to his feet, pulling both his blades out as he took a threatening stance before the two. His red hair fell into his flashing blue eyes and he smirked, just as the two remaining windows behind them exploded with the force of the wind, pelting the two with glass and wood.

“No!” Odin shouted, his staff raised.

He aimed at the figure that launched itself at him, but grunted in pain when a heavy fist collided with his face, sending him falling back, hitting the table that held Loki.

He saw Frigga dart from the shadows and run for cover and groaned, trying to drag himself to her. But he shouted in dismay when his staff was snatched from him and thrown aside, looking up to see Laufey standing there, his face filled with fury.

He said not a word and Odin’s eye widened a moment before Laufey bashed his fist into the side of his head, knocking him out.

“That was for Jotunhiem…” he hissed, waving his hand to get rid of the sting accompanying the vicious hit.

He heard the scuffle behind him and turned to see Azure, that monster, fighting with Tyr and Balder.

Helblindi was freeing Loki and Thor hovered over him, trying to still him as Loki jerked.

“I beg you!” Thor said, holding Loki’s face in his hands “I beg you, listen to my voice, Loki! Loki, you have to listen to my voice!”

His body was taut, his tendons protruding as Loki tipped his head back, trying to fight this spell inside him.

“Please!” Thor pleaded.

Fimbulvetr managed to throw Tyr and Balder off, magic slashing at them hard. They flew through the air, hitting the wall behind them with a hard crack and sliding to the floor.

Balder groaned and lifted his head when he could, frowning at something moving in the shadows. He blinked to clear his vision and it was gone.

And Azure was walking towards them.

Balder sat up to fight, but it wasn’t him that Azure went after.

Tyr choked when the Jotun grabbed him around the throat and lifted him high off the ground, with more power than he should have possessed. Tyr’s feet dangled above the ground, his hands held Azure’s wrist.

“Precious Son of Odin” Azure hissed, his voice unlike anything either of them had ever heard “The future King of Asgard…”

He scoffed “You are nothing more than a weakling, Tyr, just like your father”

He started to squeeze and Tyr kicked, gasping and choking as he applied more and more pressure. His eyes started to close and his breath became harder to gain as Azure strangled him.

The swish of a blade and a scream sounded before Azure fell, taking Tyr with him, both hitting the ground with a sick crack.

Balder stood there, his hands holding one of Tyr’s blades, covered in blood as he stared at the leg he’d sliced clean off Azure’s body.

Fimbulvetr screamed in Azure’s form, thrashing as pain went through his body and Tyr crawled away, coughing and gasping for air, massaging his throat.

Behind them, with his concentration lost, Loki became still.

Thor gasped and Laufey froze when his son stopped his thrashing and simply lay there, his eyes closed. He wasn’t moving, he was breathing, but only a little and Thor was terrified.

“L-Loki?”

“Thor, we must go!” Balder yelled, pulling Tyr with him

Helblindi broke open the doors and Laufey looked at Thor

“Come on, we will fix him at home, hurry!”

Thor wasted no time, he gently slipped his arms underneath Loki and picked him up, running as fast as he could, away.

His hammer was left where it was, forgotten as the room cleared.

Fimbulvetr screamed and cursed, howling at Odin, ordering him to get up and go, to follow them, to get them back!

But at the same time he knew.

He knew Loki was far too powerful for him.

He needed to do something else.

Something that he wanted to do in the first place.

***

He felt a calming touch, soft, gentle and hesitant.

He heard a voice, his name and a plea.

There was softness beneath him, solid and true. He felt warmth and longed to go into it further. His breathing was deep and he inhaled loudly as he woke, his tired eyes trying to gain enough coherence to look at who was next to him.

For a second, he was confused, his vision was blurred, his head hurt and he lacked the concentration needed to understand who was before him.

Thor had his back to him, talking softly to Thrym, who held Ari in his hands. The babe had been coughing earlier and Thor had almost died, worry hitting him so hard.

Loki had been asleep for a week, no movement from him, nothing. The healers, here and brought over from Asgard, had done their best, left nothing to chance, yet he wasn’t moving.

When they brought him here, Loki had vomited a fountain of blood, staining Thor, scaring the life out of him. He’d started convulsing again, lost in a terrible seizure that took the lives of all his loved ones.

Thor was sure that Laufey, Helblindi and he himself had all died, seeing Loki like that, bloody, thrashing and near lifeless. His eyes were open, focused on nothing as the spell inside him continued to torture him.

Whatever the had done was terrible and Thor fell to his knees, screaming for Loki when they took him away to heal, as magic wielders went in after him.

Helblindi, for all his hate and rage, held Thor tightly, not caring if there was blood on him, cradling his head and telling him to pray.

“Pray and plead” Helblindi had said “That is what will save him”

And Thor prayed. He sat on the floor outside the small room where Loki had been taken and he prayed, he cried, he yelled and demanded…

Then he went silent, his head in his hands as he just … waited.

It was all he could do.

He sat there, in his blood clothes for hours, waiting for whatever news they would eventually give him. He was aware that people came to sit by him, console him and talk to him, trying to get him to clean himself, but he didn’t know who they were or what they said.

And he didn’t care.

All he wanted was to know that his Loki was alright, that he would make it.

Nothing else mattered.

So, when the doors to the room opened and a few exhausted sorcerers walked out, tailed by a healer, Thor shot to his feet, showing true sign of life in himself then.

“He is weak” the healer told him “He was … possessed by dark magic, something terrible. It was killing him and it took so long because we had to remove it before we treated him otherwise the creature, the magic inside him, would have grown stronger”

“Is he…?” Thor began, feeling someone place a hand on his shoulder

“He sleeps” the healer said “in time, his own magic will heal him enough to wake. For now, we let him sleep”

Thor had nodded and though it was a terrible fate for him, he kept looking for a good end for it.

For a week he dedicated himself to caring for Ari. He woke him, fed him, bathed him and cared for him. At night, he paced until Ari slept, keeping an eye on the bed where Loki rested, healing himself from the trauma.

Ari needed him, Thor had to be strong.

So he was.

And that was why he was so worried over his son as his baby coughed, touching his forehead to see if he had a fever and missing, entirely, the moment Loki woke and focused on him.

Thrym didn’t see either, too busy with answering the thousand and one things Thor asked him in a single breath.

It was only when Loki let out a soft whisper that the two of them turned.

Thrym gaped and Thor froze, looking at Loki, his eyes wide.

Loki smiled at Thor “If it’s not too much trouble…may I have a drink of water?”

His throat was raspy and Thrym moved back as Thor stood and went to get him water, splashing most of it on the floor as he returned and fell on his knees by Loki.

He helped him sit up and Thrym headed to the door

“I – I will tell Laufey” he stuttered, running out, holding Ari close

Loki leaned against Thor, taking the water slowly, then looking at his husband when he had enough and Thor put the glass aside.

“My love…” Loki whispered “I owe you my life”

Thor looked at him and Loki swore he saw him break.

The man lay Loki down and sat on his knees by the bed, holding Loki’s hand to his forehead as he ducked his head on the bed and wept.

His voice was loud, filled with pain and torment and Loki said not a word. He turned to him, pulling him close and over himself, draping Thor upon his weakened form so he could hold him tight.

Thor held him just as tight, weeping loudly, his rich voice filling the room as he let out his fear, anger and helplessness at the thought of losing Loki.

And when Laufey and Helblindi came to the door, Loki didn’t see them. He was holding Thor, kissing him, calming him and rubbing his back.

There was so much pain in the room that they slipped out and away, leaving the lovers to grieve.

If nothing else, it would give them a clear head when they had to care for Ari.

Because amid the trauma and the pain and agony of the passed week, the little devil …

…had a terrible flu.

***

Thor could swear the door to the bathroom had melted.

There was so much steam, that it seemed it was impossible for the door to stay its original size. It slipped in from beneath the small opening by the floor and Thor went to it, coming after dinner, like he had promised to the man who was responsible for the steam. His hand rested on the knob and he opened it, blinking when he was hit with the offending steam inside, the heat and the humidity.

And right in the middle of it, was Loki.

He turned to Thor, giving him a wan smile, tempered with worry, as he held his softly cooing, sick little baby against his bare shoulder.

Ari, the darling babe, fell sick with his first flu and Thor didn’t know if it was harder on Loki or the baby. The two looked equally miserable and Ari managed to open one eye lazily, looking at his father.

He made to make a sound, a greeting for his father, but ended up coughing and Loki felt his heart break at the sad whine his child gave after.

“My love, I’m here” he whispered, rubbing his back “I’m here, it’s okay”

Thor watched, sadness in his eyes as Ari coughed again, then gagged, as if to throw up.

But Loki was there and he sat on the floor, next to a small tub that he lifted and held out before Ari, watching as Ari vomited, kissing the back of his head.

“Oh, my darling, baby boy” Loki whispered, trying to do something, anything to help him now that he was completely recovered

Not that Thor would ever admit it, he treated Loki like he was made of glass. Every step, every stumble was fixed, healed and fussed over.

And Loki would find it annoying if it wasn’t so endearing.

Ari cried softly and Thor picked up a towel, coming to wipe his mouth before he took him from Loki, rubbing his back.

“Take a break, darling” he told Loki “You have been at this for hours you know you need rest”

“I can’t, Thor” Loki said, picking up the tub and washing it in the sink “He’s sick, he’s been throwing up, he cried all last night, all day, he is in pain and I don’t know what to do”

Thor frowned at the quiver in Loki’s voice and shook his head, knowing Loki was at his limit.

“Listen to me” he walked up to him, holding his arm when Loki put the tub back where it was “look at yourself! You haven’t slept since last night, you have not eaten. This is not healthy, you are in no condition to be helping him!”

Loki looked at him, his green eyes normally shining with delight were tired, dull and red. His skin was glistening with perspiration, his trousers were stuck to him because of the humidity, his hair was a mess of tangles and knots.

He looked nothing like a king, nothing. If anything, he looked like a starved beggar, someone desperate to have even a slice of the life Loki had.

And it hurt Thor, right in the heart.

“You know as well as I what the healers said” Thor told him “Till his fever breaks, he will throw up. He will get better Loki, you have to calm down or you will be in a worse state than him, do you understand?”

He gave him a little shake because Loki had that petulant look about him, the one that told Thor he was not going to listen.

“Loki!”

“What?” Loki growled “I heard what you said”

“Did you understand me?” Thor asked

And there it was, the jut of Loki’s jaw, indicating that he was being stubborn. Thor knew he wanted to take care of Ari, but there was no chance of him doing that by jeopardizing his own health.

“Loki?” Thor sighed, his voice gentle “Do you understand what I said?”

Exhaling, Loki looked away and nodded “I do”

“Then go” Thor rubbed his arm “Take a bath, have dinner, rest, my love. I can take care of him, aye?”

Loki’s shoulders fell and he nodded, reaching up to take Thor’s hand in his and giving it a squeeze.

“If he so much as cries…” he began

“I will make sure to call you” Thor promised “Now go, I will handle this”

Ari whimpered softly, turning his head to mouth at Thor’s neck.

He hadn’t done that before and Thor pat his back, rubbing gentle circles around it.

“It’s alright, darling, hush…” he whispered

Ari continued doing it, his little hand pulling at Thor’s collar, wanting to get in contact with his skin.

Loki saw it and gently tugged on Thor’s tunic “Off with this, he needs skin to skin contact”

Thor nodded and held Ari out to him, letting him hold him as he took his tunic off, then took his son back. Immediately, when Ari felt it, he curled against him and Loki smiled, a little better than before.

“Just let me know if…”

“I will, love” Thor said, pulling Loki over and kissing his forehead “Just go rest, I am handling this”

Loki shut his eyes and pressed himself against Thor, taking what comfort he needed, then pulled away and let Thor take care of Ari. He couldn’t resist giving Ari a kiss to the head and walked out the door, shivering a little when he went into the cooler, steam free room.

Behind him, Thor closed the door and paced, trying his best to make his son feel better.

Loki huffed and went to collapse in one of the large chairs in their room, running a hand through his ruined hair before he realized he truly looked like a mess. Probably something frightening enough to scare the wits out of someone…

Loki, despite his worry, felt that Thor had taken care of Ari, so he stood and headed out, going to the spare rooms that Tyr and the others were staying in.

He was miserable, his son was sick and Loki deserved a little laughter.

Messing his hair up further, Loki licked his lips as he walked out of the room he had. His footsteps soft, he went around the corner, careful not to be seen, until he could scare what little life remained in Tyr.

***

Thor had just settled his babe down, finally, after Ari cried and wept against him, when the doors opened.

He turned and wanted to growl at the person who entered, telling them to keep their mouths shut or he would electrocute them, but froze as what he saw.

“And if you can’t behave like the king you are, stay in here, you brat!” Laufey pushed Loki into the room, his face red “You want to act like a child, so be it!”

He closed the door with a tight snap behind him and Loki looked at Thor, pulling his lips inwards and looking like he was about to burst out laughing right there.

In fact, the longer Thor watched, the more Loki began to giggle and he had to place a hand on his mouth to muffle the noise.

“What happened?” Thor asked, walking over, smiling because of Loki’s mirth “I thought you left to take a bath”

“I did” Loki snorted, looking the same as he has when last Thor saw him “but I wanted to scare Tyr first”

He tugged on his hair to show what he meant – it was puffed up and curled angrily, making him look rather like a feather duster. But even as he was, Thor thought he was beautiful.

“But I turned the corner and Father…” Loki started to chuckle again “Thor, he saw me and he screamed so loudly! I thought I was going to die laughing right there! I didn’t mean to scare him but the _noise_ he made!”

Thor felt his lips twitch and he shook his head, grinning “You are a right monster, you know that?”

Loki only seemed to find that funnier and he snorted, shaking his head at his husband.

“It was absolutely hilarious” he said, walking over “Then, because he screamed so loudly, Thrym came out and by the gods, the two of us laughed until Father lost his patience with us and now I am here, forbidden to come out of this room”

Thor chuckled and ran a hand through his hair “You are hopeless.”

“Indeed, entirely hopeless” Loki said, coming to stop before him “But you love me anyway”

Thor hummed “Do I?”

He pulled him closer, letting Loki loop his arms around his neck and hang on him

“Yes, you do” Loki replied, kissing Thor when he leaned over “You love me and want to spoil me – in more ways than one…”

He waggled his brows and Thor laughed

“You are an absolute ass” the thunderer said, kissing him again

“Still love me” Loki kissed him back, softly, then a little harder when Thor insisted.

His eyes closed and Loki sighed softly, putting his arms around Thor properly and groaning when Thor put his hands under his thighs to lift him up and carry him to the bed.

He deposited Loki down and came upon him, kissing him over and over, biting and licking down his neck.

Loki hissed, biting his lip as Thor pushed his tunic up “If I had known…this hair would make you so excited, I would have done this years ago”

Thor rumbled in laughter against his middle and Loki moaned softly as the bite bestowed upon his belly.

“Alas…” Thor nipped his ribs “I am not going to give in to my excitement till you have had a nice warm bath…as much as it pains me…”

Loki looked at him, smiling, when Thor loomed over him

“I have to make sure you are healthy first” Thor said, lowering his head to steal yet another kiss before he stood, pulling Loki up with him “In the bath you go. I will have our dinner brought over”

Loki agreed only because he wanted to, not because Thor was right, then headed to the bathroom so he could bathe.

Thor went in search of a servant and found one at the end of the hall.

“Hey, pardon me,” he called, jogging over “The King and I require dinner to be brought over to our rooms, could you please attend?”

The servant, the man Thor had called out to, turned and Thor felt the colour drain from his face.

Azure stood before him, his face gaunt and thin, his eyes shining an unnatural shade of red. His skin was embedded with scars, damaged tissue and when he smiled, his teeth, which had been annoyingly perfect, were pointed, harsh and cruel, like fangs.

Thor opened his mouth to speak, lifted his hand to call forth Mjolnir, when Azure vanished from his sight, melting into silt, his greying skin and bones disintegrating to nothing. He was shocked, Thor had no idea where to look and when that silt started to move, Thor panicked, going to his room, going to warn Loki.

“Loki!” he yelled, hurrying back.

But damned he was because no sooner had he taken two steps, that the silt slipped ahead of him and Thor had time only to reach the door as it slammed shut and locked.

“No!” Thor slammed his hands into it “Loki!!”

He tried to get it open but it wouldn’t budge, his eyes wide, Thor took a step back and extended his hand, calling for Mjolnir. He felt her thrum, he felt her power and Thor’s heart pumped when she broke through the door, leaving him free to go in and save Loki.

“Leave him alone, you monster!” Thor shouted, running into their taken rooms

His eyes were shining with rage, his body thrumming with the need to kill, to murder and destroy.

But froze, dead in its path when he saw that the room was empty. There was no one here, Azure was gone.

Fearing for his love, Thor took his hammer to the bathroom, opening the door, panting in fear.

Loki was there, sitting in the tub and he looked at him, his face confused, then became worried.

“Thor?” he asked “Thor, what’s wrong? Is Ari alright?”

Thor was breathless “Azure was here. He – he had some sort of power, he was came back for you. Loki, we have to leave this place, he is alive, he wants vengeance”

Loki looked at him and nodded “Alright, alright, calm down. Let me finish up really quickly. You take Ari and go to my father. I will meet you there, alright?”

Thor nodded and turned, letting his hammer go to get his son so they could go to Laufey. He dint care what they thought of him, if Loki was in danger again, then there was nothing that mattered more than getting him safe.

Thor was not going to have a repeat of last time, he wasn’t!

Thor’s feet thumped on the stone floor as he walked to the crib, his mind in shambles. Azure was likely working with Odin, there was no other way to explain that magic. He was here for Loki and if Thor was not careful, he was going to take Loki away from him, he was going to kill him.

His heart pounding in his chest, Thor reached the crib and moved the soft drapes around it to pick up Ari and…

And the earth shifted from beneath Thor’s feet as he stared at it.

The crib

It was empty.

The place where his son had been sleeping not two minutes ago was gone and Thor felt his lips part and he stumbled back, his head in his hands.

A scream ripped from his throat and Thor fell to his knees, unable to stand anymore.

He heard Loki call his name, he heard it get more frantic until he felt Loki stop next to him.

Loki could have sworn his soul broke apart when he saw it and he shook his head

“No … No, no…” he whimpered

His tormented green eyes stared at the crib, at the empty place where his baby once lay and he shook his head

“No!” Loki cried “No, he took him! He took Ari! He took my baby!”

Thor’s head was throbbing in agony, his body was breaking, he was sure of it, as he realized the genius of Odin’s plan.

He had never wanted Loki.

It was always Ari he was after.

Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I put in baby Ari and Loki's past for the lovely dilamasri. Thank you for your comment, dear.
> 
> Please comment on the story, guys, I feel 10,000000 times happier when you do


	25. Chapter 25

The rain water hit his face like daggers, pelting him with the rage and anger of the man who was responsible for this. The wind was terrible, hitting him over and over like an immovable, imposing wall, knocking him from his feet no less than three times. His eyes were glassy, both from the high winds and the inability to see.

The air current was so strong he could see it change the direction of the rain and hail that fell upon them. The ice and snow was broken, tattered under the vicious storm and everyone had run for shelter.

Trees cracked and broke, pillars of ice fell from the tops of mountains, rolling towards destruction. Boulders shook upon their resting places, being pelted and hit by the snow, hail and storm that was Thor’s torment.

The howling agony of the seemingly endless wind was deafening and all of Jotunhiem heard it.

Up above, lightning and thunder clashed together, shaking the very mountains with their rage.

And there, before him, walking through this berserk storm was its maker.

His red cape was wet, swishing in the deadly wind, his hair flew behind him as he sent himself into battle. His eyes were focused, his rage was chaotic and there was only one thing on his mind.

He had to get his son back by any means necessary.

And this time, his fear was driven back by what truly mattered to his broken, black heart.

“Thor!”

Through the clashing above and the pain in his heart, he heard him, he felt him and he turned, his eye wide as he saw Loki, drenched and miserable, following. The wind was becoming too strong for him and Thor ran back, shaking his head.

“What are you doing out here!?” Thor shouted over the storm “I can’t control this! I told you to stay inside!”

“I am not letting you go alone!”

With the pain in Thor’s spirit, a strong gust of wind blew against them, hurling sharp pelts of ice and snow at them, making Loki stumble.

A tree was ripped from the ground, flying high into the devastation that was so completely Thor.

“Loki, this will kill you!” Thor steadied him “You can’t take this!”

“Then control it!” Loki shouted at him, his eyes shining “Control it and take me with you, I am not going to let you leave alone, Thor!”

“I will not let you harm yourself!” Thor shouted and the rain became harder “He took my son! He took him, I cannot let him take you too!”

“Our son!” Loki shouted back “He’s ours and I am not backing down so you better control this! You will rip this place apart!”

“I can’t control it!”

“Then force yourself to!” Loki grabbed his arms and shook him “You can control this, you know there is something worth far more!”

Thor looked at him, right into his eyes “I can’t…”

“Yes, you can” Loki said firmly “I believe you can so you have to”

Thor grit his jaw as he looked at him and swallowed thickly

It looked like it wouldn’t work, but Loki felt relief when he saw the Prince close his eyes, his head tipped up towards the storm.

It was strong, dangerously so, Loki saw his world crashing and crumbling beneath its force. He saw the tops of mountains falling downwards, into endless cracks where the ground wouldn’t meet them for a long time. He sad snow from the ground fly towards the skies, he saw trees break apart after being torn from their roots.

In the distance, whirlwinds danced around their land, taking in whatever they touched.

And in the middle, causing it all, was Thor, above the howling and destruction, was Thor. His Thor. His husband and lover, the man who was responsible was so much in his life.

He was right there, Loki’s hands on his shoulders as they stood together, before each other as equals.

The King watched his lover, his eyes taking in the power that he controlled and how well he was doing.

Loki knew he could and he smiled when he saw the whirlwinds dissipate and felt the wind become weaker. The sounds around them started to lower and Loki moved to embrace Thor, holding on tight as the cracks and crashes around the steadily became fewer and far in between.

Gradually, Loki felt Thor relax and he felt the chaos around them turn to order, turn to peace and tranquillity. He felt the hardness beneath Thor’s muscles lessen until he finally, felt those arms come around him.

He heard something drop in the distance and a hand cradled his head.

“I’m sorry,” Thor whispered “I am _so_ _sorry_ ”

“Hush” Loki whispered, kissing his head “Hush, do not apologize for your pain”

“No,” Thor told him, looking at the destruction “I should have watched him better, I should have…”

Loki went cold when he realized what Thor was apologizing for and he pulled away, not out of Thor’s arms, no, just enough to look him in the eye and shake his head.

“No,”  he said “No, you are not to blame for that. After what happened…”

“I should have been vigilant” Thor said, cupping his cheek “Loki, I let them take him away and now …”

“Now, we will get him back” Loki soothed him “Calm yourself, my darling, nothing good will come of this torment you put yourself through, has it ever? You only hurt yourself and I know there are many who do that for you”

He placed his hand over Thor’s and kissed his wrist

“I love you” he said “and I will always do so. Together we are stronger than before and we will get him back”

Thor looked at him, his face hurt and lost once more

“He’s my baby” he whispered “I can’t lose him”

Loki pressed his lips to Thor’s and nodded “You won’t. But we need to plan before we go. Your brothers and friends are prepared for battle. We take them with us and get Ari back and then…”

Thor blinked when Loki made him face him

“We kill them both”

Thor nodded “Aye, we do”

***

Odin frowned, looking at the small, crying child in Fimbulvetr’s arms. His small face was red and he struggled, trying to get away from the monster as though sensing his true nature. His tiny hands and feet pushed away from the demon but, alas, he held no true power over him.

The boy, Ari, his grandson, was there before him, held in the arms of the creature that brought his wife back.

Or the only version of her that he could.

Odin was afraid this was not his Frigga, she was frightening, he had to keep her locked up most of the time.

Last night he came to more carnage as she had killed and devoured a servant. It was the seventh one this month and he had no idea what to do.

He didn’t know when she would do this but he knew that whenever she did, she would stay calm for days after before doing it over and over and over…

The servants were already talking about their missing companions, there were rumours spreading through the city, everything was going to hell.

And the only way to stop it was to trust Fimbulvter.

Aye, once this was done and he had the body he needed, he would to it, he would give him the cure needed to bring his love back, that was all.

After that, after he had what he needed, things would be alright and he would have back what he so cruelly lost.

Before him, the babe cried, louder when Fimbulvetr set him in a large basin filled with the water that would ultimately bind him with the boy.

“Yes…” he whispered, his eyes shutting “He has the power, he has the magic that flows through Loki’s veins. Oh, what I can do with it…”

He hissed and Odin saw his eyes begin to glow.

Ari screamed louder in response, fighting the water that was around him. His little face was stained with tears and he howled in discomfort as Fimbulvetr started the spell, holding him in one hand as he dipped his finger in the water and started painting runes on Ari’s skin.

And as Odin watched, they glowed, a dark red, thick as blood, over the boy’s tiny body. The high pitched crying filled the room as Ari lay in the scrying bowl, screeching and weeping in response to what Fimbulvetr was doing.

Odin held his tongue for now, watching Fimbulvetr grow stronger, watching Ari cry louder and louder, his little face scrunched up in his pain…

And it stopped.

Odin gasped, startled when Ari suddenly stopped crying, his big eyes looking at Fimbulvetr, complaining about the pain that he’d gone through. His small mouth was turned into a pout as he whimpered and cried, his hands fisted, his feet kicking the water.

And Fimbulvetr let out a low breath, his eyes still aglow, looking down at the babe.

“Yes” he whispered “the power … the absolute power…he has much more to give me”

He reached to stroke his cheek and Ari whined, wanting to get out and dry.

“Here” Fimbulvetr looked at Odin, pulling the babe from the water “he is small, weak. His powers will regenerate soon enough and I will continue.”

He handed Ari to Odin, who took him unsteadily. His eye looked to the babe, then to Fimbulvetr, who was smiling at himself.

The old King felt the child squirm and looked down, looking at him for the first time properly.

His heart nearly stopped as he was taken back decades, to his youth when he picked up and raised in his hands his son…

Thor

Ari had the same look, the same pout and the same hair, everything was Thor.

Swallowing thickly as the babe cried, Odin wrapped him in his robes, drying him off.

“Make sure it is strong before I need it again” Fimbulvetr smiled, heading to the door “I have something I need to finish”

Odin, for once, didn’t ask, nor did he stop him.

He looked at the boy in his arms, then to where Fimbulvetr had gone before he nodded.

He would care for him.

He would do what is needed.

Turning away, he hobbled towards the door that would lead him to his chambers.

After a little rest – because he could not stand strong anymore – Odin intended on fixing everything that he wanted to fix.

His steps were heavy and his feet dragged on the floor as he carried Ari to the bed. The child was still whimpering and crying as Odin helped him lay down, then cleft him surrounded by pillows to leave him and head to the bathing room. He returned with a small basin, soap and towel.

Carefully, he wet the towel and used it to clean the marks put upon the babe’s soft skin. Next, he rubbed the wet towel over the soap and carefully massaged it all over Ari, smiling when the child pat his face.

“Aye, old man I am” Odin told him “Not going to look adorable, not like you”

Ari cooed at him, liking the cool softness of the towel against him and watched the man carefully, unaware that it was his own grandfather. His big eyes were shining with tears still stubborn in his eyes but he watched the old man, smiling when he rubbed circles with the cloth on him again.

He let out a sweet, calming coo that had Odin look at him and smile, his old, weary face joyful after such a long time.

“You like that?” he laughed softly “Well, I have to do it again, don’t I?”

Odin rinsed off the towel before he dipped it in the water again to take away the last of the soap and a few minutes later, Ari was clean.

And dry, which was the most important thing to the babe.

He smiled when Odin eventually wrapped him up in a blanket and held him in his arms and paced, humming to him.

His voice was deep, soothing and relaxing. That, coupled with the fact that Ari was warm, helped the babe. He sniffled and coughed in his arms and Odin frowned, realizing why he couldn’t give that Fimbulvetr what his wanted.

He was sick

“You sweet babe” Odin whispered, “You are ill”

He held him tighter, rubbing his arm and heading to get him a towel to he could wipe his nose.

When Ari started to fuss, he shushed him

“Alright, alright, forgive me” he said “I was just cleaning your nose, is that alright?”

Ari huffed, then sneezed and Odin sighed. He went to sit in a chair, holding the boy close to him.

“It’s alright” he said, rocking them both “You will be alright, baby”

Ari whined and sniffed, moving closer to the warmth that was Odin. He let him wipe his tears when he cried and he let him soothe him.

Odin, in turn hummed and sang to him, keeping him safe in his arms. The babe reminded him so much of …

“Thor?”

With a gasp, Odin was on his feet, curling Ari protectively to his chest, his hand extended and glowing with magic destined to knock the person before him unconscious.

Frigga, her hair a mess, her eyes tired and haunted and her face gaunt, looked upon him – looking frightened. She had frozen when Odin had moved and stopped, knowing she was still in the wrong.

Odin was still angry at her.

But she couldn’t resist, when she heard the voice, heard the coos, she couldn’t resist picking the lock to the room she has been in and coming out.

Her hands shivered with the need to hold the baby – to her it was her son – to her chest and rock him.

When she saw him, the name left her lips before she could stop herself and now she watched him, her eyes large and worried, her face still tormented.

“Thor?” she whispered “O-Odin, it’s Thor”

Odin shook his head, his hand lowering, just a little “Frigga, no. This …”

“It’s Thor” she whispered, coming over

She didn’t stop when Odin stepped back and moved to touch the child on the head. Ari let out a soft noise and looked at her, his eyes big and wide.

“He – He is ill” Frigga touched his cheek “Let me get ready, I will get him his medicine, then I will call Tyr and Balder inside, we have to prepare for the feast tonight”

Dumbstruck, Odin could only watch as the woman who hadn’t spoken a word, the woman who’d eaten members of the staff and who cried herself to sleep, rushed to get ready.

He wasn’t sure what happened, but he had a dash of hope that he didn’t have before. His heart felt healed, if only a little and Odin looked at the babe, then back to where Frigga had gone.

And just like that, Odin saw the solution to his problem.

***

“Is it me or is Asgard suddenly warmer than it was when we left?”

Fandral’s announcement was not met with pleasant recipients, mostly owing to the fact that all of them were dressed as commoners and were wading through knee high water and sewage as they slipped inside the castle from under it.

Upon entering Asgard, Loki had been hit with the most powerful enchantment traces he had ever seen. It was not only surrounding the palace, it pulsed through the city, lurking in every nook and cranny, as though surveying what every individual was doing.

And because everyone in Asgard was unaware of the magic, they went about their way as usual, leaving the caster – Odin, no doubt – do take and gather information as he pleased.

Some places had more magic than others, Loki could sense it all.

And he realized that his initial plan of sneaking into the palace had to be remedied – if only a little.

Instead of sneaking in through the windows while using Thor’s rain as cover, they would go underneath the streets and homes, wading to the one place the spells and curses were not present.

That, unfortunately, was here, meters deep beneath Asgard, watching their steps as the noblest in Jotunhiem and Asgard waded through the waste of the common people.

The steam, humidity and the horrid stench was at least kept at bay with Loki’s magic. That was a mercy that everyone was glad for, especially Sif.

She had done questionable things to complete the missions she had set herself on but walking through refuse was not one of them until now.

It made her rethink a lot, but knowing that Ari, the sweet, darling boy, was in danger, had her rethink her rethinking and forget her own torment in favour of saving his.

Ahead of the group and being far braver than she had ever thought he would be, Loki led the troops. It was a small army in itself, consisting of Thor and Loki, the warriors three, Sif, Helblindi, Tyr and Balder.

Laufey had wanted to come, so had Thrym, but Loki didn’t want them to be in danger.

They had enough people, they needed no other to help them at the moment.

Thor thought that Loki was doing it to keep himself sane. If he knew Loki, his mind would forever be on his father and Thrym, leaving him vulnerable in more ways than one.

And his mate needed the reprieve that would only come once they had their son safely in their hands.

He stayed close to Loki, not wanting to hover and not wanting to leave him alone as he guided them through passage after dirty passage, leading them to the castle.

No one was down here, it was disgusting and the only sounds were the sloshing of their steps in the water.

In the distance, the sound of a refuse water fall indicated the place where it fell off into an abyss and the one place they would not go to.

Fandral had to be told twice, just because he wasn’t listening.

As they moved on, Loki’s eyes watched the orb he held in his hands and his concentration increased.

“We have a kilometre left” Loki told them “best hurry”

His voice, though soft, echoed around them and left no question or moment to refute. Even if they were tired, Loki didn’t care. He would leave them behind to go alone if he had to.

Gods above, his child was alone and those monsters were doing norns know what to get…

A high pitched _scream_ made all of them jump and turn around, their weapons raised, eyes looking for a fight, for danger, an enemy, a monster, anything…

All of them frowned when all they saw was Fandral, looking extremely sheepish as he pointed to a rat sitting on the edge of a pipe that poured water into the tunnel they occupied.

Loki’s lips were tight and he glared at him, making Fandral wince

“If you are going to scream at every little thing that startles you, Fandral, then I suggest you leave” Loki snarled “This is not a game or a hunt that you stand there, making comments and screaming like a little girl when my son is out there in the hands of those monsters, suffering far worse than a wet rat, that isn’t even bigger than your stupid head!”

Thor looked at Fandral, shaking his head and took Loki’s hand, leading him back, possibly saving Fandral from death.

Fandral winced, then hissed when Sif punched him in the shoulder and all of them headed forward, following Loki.

It seemed like it took forever, they were tired, but finally, finally, Loki managed to lead them to a set of iron bars that let upwards and into freedom. Their clothes were soaked, their legs and backs hurt but they did not stop.

Loki went first, using his magic when he reached the top of the tunnel to lift and move aside the lid of a large manhole. He climbed out, then lent a hand to Thor, pulling out his husband, then Sif and let the others come out as they pleased.

The room they were in was dark and Loki raised a hand, letting it glow as he looked upon the old communal baths in the palace.

The tiles were dirty, they could hear water dripping somewhere, but to them, it was a relief.

All of them shed the dirty, smelly cloaks they had and used what taps worked to clean off their boots.

Loki wasted no time and Thor watched as tendrils of magic slid down his form, then Loki’s until the two of them were in armour.

He heard a snort and turned to see Tyr rolling his eyes, clearly impressed but not letting Thor know about it.

As they washed, Loki went to the door of the baths and pulled it open, grimacing as cob webs and dust was dislodged. He stepped back to avoid it and looked at the dark hallway before them.

“Alright” he said, his voice clear “Tyr, you take your group and go on ahead. Warriors Three, create a diversion, just like we discussed, go”

He moved aside and let them file out the door, going to do as they had planned. He looked calm but inside his chest, his heart was pounding painfully. The risks were suddenly too much for him and he had to inhale deeply before he could move forward, taking Thor with him.

His hand shook as it held Thor’s and he led him up to the end of the hall before he looked at him.

Thor sighed when he saw his eyes, saw the fear settled in them, saw the uncertainty.

He shook his head

“Remember” he said, stroking Loki’s cheek “If you find him first…”

Loki nodded, placing a hand on Thor’s and leaning into it “I know.”

He turned his head to kiss Thor’s palm.

“Be careful, my darling” Loki whispered “ _Swear_ you will be careful”

“I swear” Thor promised, leaning down to kiss his lips.

Parting from Thor was heart breaking but Loki had to, his hands clenched as he watched Thor run down the halls, going to where he had seen Loki last time. His hammer was still at his hip and Loki prayed she kept him safe.

Loki waited until Thor’s cape was out of sight before he pulled his sceptre from thin air and headed to the Royal Chambers.

He had a vengeance to get to.

His feet made no sound as he bypassed guard after guard and headed to the chambers were King Odin was. He could sense where the magic was coming from.

As Loki stepped deeper and deeper into the castle, he felt it grow stronger and stronger until it made the hair on his arm prickle.

Loki’s grip tightened on his staff and he slipped into the shadows as he reached the hall that led to the Royal Chambers.

There were two guards there, no one else and Loki narrowed his eyes, watching them.

They were on alert and he raised a hand, waving it to the side.

A series of clicks sounded to the left, immediately capturing the attention of the guards.

“Who’s there!?” one yelled “Show yourself”

Loki almost rolled his eyes as they both abandoned their posts to rush to the source of the noise and gave him freedom to enter the chambers. Once more sticking to the darkness, Loki opened the doors and slipped inside, closing them behind him.

The magic was stifling here inside and Loki had to clear his thoughts as he walked in, focusing on finding his son.

The room was dimly lit and Loki slit his gaze, looking from one portion to the other. It was large, lit only by a single candle, so Loki raised his hand to let it alight when he heard it.

A small, childish coo.

His heart stopped and Loki turned to the side, freezing when he saw something he couldn’t believe.

Frigga stood there, cooing at and singing to Ari as she held him in her arms. She looked younger, healthier and Loki felt his jaw drop when he also saw Ari, drinking from a bottle she gave him.

Frowning, Loki stepped forward.

“Frigga?” he gasped

She looked up and stilled, then looked to something behind him.

Loki had time only to judge her expression when something hard and heavy hit the back of his head.

He grunted and his knees buckled, falling to the floor and losing the grip on his staff. The hit hadn’t knocked him out, but he was dazed enough not to see straight.

Groaning, he placed a hand on his head, barely hearing the sinister laughter that came from behind him.

“I have to say” Fimbulvetr said “I didn’t think you would be so gullible”

His boots clicked on the floor as he walked around Loki, looking at him. He saw him reach for his staff and kicked it away, clicking his tongue.

“No, no” he said “if you want your son to be safe, you will do as I ask”

Loki shook his head to gain coherency and moved to his hands and knees. He growled when Fimbulvetr grabbed his hair and yanked him up, a cry escaping his lips.

“I said, do as I ask” Fimbulvetr hissed into his ear “Did I tell you to get up?”

Loki held the wrist of the hand that Fimbulvetr had buried in his hair and glared at him.

“You will let us go” Loki snarled “And surrender”

Fimbulvetr chuckled “Will I? Or what?”

Of all the things he expected, he didn’t think Loki would grin.

“ _Oh_ , how I wanted you to say that” he chuckled

That made Fimbulvetr frown and a second later, he heard the door break open with a crash. He turned in time to see Thor run in, a vial in his hands. He had time only to recognize it before Thor tossed it in his face.

Fimbulvetr howled, letting Loki go to clutch his face, the acid burning through his skin and bone.

“Thor, now!” Loki shouted, running to where Frigga stood.

Behind him, Thor extended his hammer and shot Fimbulvetr with lightning, the smell of burnt flesh filling the air immediately as the monster screamed and howled.

Loki reached Frigga and pulled her and Ari into his arms, crouching low and protecting the two from what Thor was about to do.

Lighting and power soaked every drop of Fimbulvetr’s blood and he screeched in agony, falling to the ground and thrashing like a wild animal. Thor stepped closer, his eyes shining with anger as he increased the torture upon Azure, killing him slowly, wanting him to burn and feel the rage he felt within his bones.

The sound of sizzling filled the air, it was sick, and Loki covered Frigga’s ears as she watched, crying in terror at what she was witnessing.

The room started to shake and Loki realized Thor was breaking it apart.

“Come on!” he said, pulling Frigga up “Hold him closer, I will get you out!”

He had to raise his voice over the roar of lighting and the screams that came from Fimbulvetr. Taking Frigga and Ari towards the door, Loki pushed past the guards who had frozen and become uncertain about what to do.

He led them to the end of the hall when the expected explosion sounded, the deafening roar of thunder and sick crackle that indicated what had been done to Azure followed. Loki held Frigga and his babe to him, hiding behind a pillar to dodge any projectiles that came their way.

He heard falling, bangs and shouts around them, but the three of them stayed safe.

He was panting and he could feel Friga tremble in his arms and he shushed her. He frowned when he felt something hurt his side and realized he must have hurt himself during his run. Only, he didn’t stop and Loki cried out when it sharpened so badly he couldn’t stand, instead falling to his knees, then to the floor, holding his side.

He was bleeding and groaned in pain when he saw blood pumping from a wound he didn’t know he had. It was like someone had jammed something into his side.

Hearing a growl, Loki looked up, paling when he saw Frigga licking blood off her hand, her eyes glowing with red.

She turned to him and smiled, wide, wider than possible, her jaw unhinged and her lips pull wide enough to leave her entire face distorted. Her eyes grew twice their size and in her arms, Ari started to cry.

Loki shook his head “No, no let him go!”

She didn’t and looked at the babe suggesting what she wanted to do to him. Her bloody hand made its way toward the babe and Loki shouted in horror.

A metallic clank sounded above him and Frigga – the demon – howled as she fell, falling to the floor by Loki’s feet.

A try of terror escaped Loki when he saw Ari go down with her, falling atop her as she lay there.

He dragged himself to his babe but Ari was lifted to safety by Tyr, the man holding him closer as he cried, soothing and calming him.

Two thick arms came from behind Loki and he was lifted against Volstagg’s frame.

“We have to get you to safety” Tyr said, his voice steady despite what he had seen “Go, now!”

Tyr handed Ari to Loki, who held him to his chest, whimpering to him and looking him over. Volstagg made no comment about the tears in Loki’s eyes if he saw them, he simply carried him away from there.

And it was only when they were turning a corner that Loki realized what was happening. He realized why everyone was running into the royal chambers.

“Thor…” Loki whispered

Volstagg startled when Loki bucked

“Take my son home” Loki said, slipping from his grip “I have to fight”

“Are you mad!?” Volstagg said “You are injured, you…”

He broke off when Loki handed him the babe and looked into his eyes

“I am trusting you” Loki told him, placing a hand on his shoulder “Take care of my son”

Volstagg wanted to say a hundred things to him about his idiocy, but Loki was gone, a hand over his wound as he stumbled back towards danger.

***

The ground had given way beneath his feet, cylinders and huge blocks of concrete had fallen atop them both as the royal chambers came down. Unable to stand the lightning, the power and the anger that came from Thor, the entire section had shuddered, shook and broke, giving into Mjolnir and the power of her wielder.

At his feet, the tiles shook one by one and Thor turned to go to the door and make his escape when they vanished.

He was startled and that was all he was given chance to do as the ceiling collapsed and fell upon him, taking him down, knocking him from floor to floor as the huge part of the palace crumbled and demolished with Thor still within. His head was throbbing, his body was bleeding and he grunted, pushing off cinder block after cinder block from him until he reached the portion of light that indicated freedom.

He heard the shouts and calls of the people around them, searching for him. He heard his name called over and over. Thor made himself move, placed his hands over a huge portion of concrete and marble that lay before him and push.

It shifted slowly at first, dusting Thor with dirt and debris, then gave in entirely.

He heard shouts of surprise and then gasps as he crawled out of the space and looked at the people gathered around.

There were soldiers, his brother, his friends and there, right next to Sif, was Loki. His pale face, which was terrified, turned shocked, then relieved when he caught sight of him.

Thor grinned at him and stood unsteadily, looking a safe way down the mountain of debris that had once been a portion of the palace. He could feel the aches and pains in his body, he didn’t have his hammer, but at the moment he didn’t care.

They did what they came here to do.

But Thor had taken the first step down upon a slab of marble when a rumble sounded from behind him.

He had only a moment before something hard and unforgiving shot out from within the rubble behind him and wrapped around his throat.

“Thor!” Loki shouted, his eyes wide.

They all watched in horror as the rubble and broken shards started to move, slowly rising from the ground before their eyes.

They stumbled back, unable to comprehend it as the previously unmoving demolition levitated high enough to expose the monster that lay beneath.

Fimbulvetr, in Azure’s broken form, was bleeding and broken. His face had been melted off by the acid Thor had thrown upon him and his body was charred by his lightning. Yet, he lived, smoky tendrils surrounding and floating above his arm and holding Thor above the ground by his throat.

“Is that all?” Fimbulvetr snarled, his limbs cracking back into place “The most powerful men in the realms stand before me, the Son of Laufey, the Son of Odin and this is what I get!?”

Thunder roared above the, cracking loudly and making everyone look towards the sky. Any hope they had of it being Thor’s faded when they saw that the clouds above them were red and that they were circling the palace.

Screams of terror filled the air as the wind turned deadly and Tyr looked at his men.

“Evacuate the city!” he yelled, turning to his men “Get everyone you can to safety!”

The guards and Warriors ran to do as they were asked and Tyr looked at Balder.

“Go with them” he said, looking at him “if I fall, you become King. They need a good ruler”

Balder shook his head “Nay, I am not leaving anyone here!”

“Yes, you are” Tyr told him, putting a hand on his shoulder and giving him a shake “We will handle this, go! Go!”

Balder looked up above, at the circling clouds, then at Tyr before he realized he had to go. Everyone here would likely die. They needed someone to live.

“I will see you again” Balder said, holding Tyr’s arm before he nodded

Tyr released him and watched him go, shouting orders about the evacuation. His eyes then went to Thor, who was suspended mid air by that monster. Thor’s hands were trying to grab and pull at the constricting grip around his throat but there was nothing but smoke.

What was there to grab?

And by the look on Loki’s face, Tyr’s hope started to dwindle.

It was just the two of them now and Loki was not in the right state of mind. He was far too invested and Tyr feared he would agree to anything to appease that monster.

“I said…” Fimbulvetr hissed, looking at Loki “Is that all?”

His voice reverberated through the broken remains around them, through the air and the ground itself. The demon raised his head to the skies and extended it hand, forming a storm above them, rage and magic filling it to the brim.

But Loki paid it no attention, his eyes were on Thor’s face as it gradually grew paler and paler. He was dying.

“Loki, what are you doing?” Tyr demanded from beside him “Whatever you are thinking, stop”

Loki shut his eyes and took a deep breath.

“Forgive me, Thor” Loki whispered, his hand forming a dagger within it

“Loki, no…” Thor whispered, his gaze on Loki’s hand.

Fimbulvetr didn’t notice and that was what Loki needed. He opened his eyes and looked up, hurling the dagger at him. The light glinted off it and immediately caught Fimbulvetr’s attention, making him attack on instinct.

He let Thor go in favour of blocking the dagger and sending a hard shot of magic right at Loki.

It glowed red and harsh, certain death headed right for him, he hadn’t even time to dodge it.

Loki took a deep breath and waited for it.

But it never hit him.

Loki grunted as something hard and immovable hit his side and threw him into the dirt and grass. The jolt knocked the air out of him and he groaned as the pressure it caused to his wound, reopening the feeble attempt he had made to heal it.

Behind him, he heard steel clank against stone and made himself get up to look, a hand at his side.

His heart stopped when he saw Tyr laying there, his hair and cape moving in the wind, his head turned away. His body was glowing with the magic hurled upon Loki but the longer he watched, the more it faded.

“No!”

Loki looked up to see Thor crawling over.

“No, no, no…” Thor shook his bleeding head, moving to his brother “Tyr! Tyr, no!”

He pushed him on his front and pat his face

“Don’t do this, don’t do this…” Thor pleaded over the howling wind and thunder

Under his pats, Tyr’s eyes flickered and he let out a pained groan.

“I can’t …” he croaked “I can’t feel my legs… I can’t feel my legs”

Thor looked at his legs helplessly and then to Fimbulvetr who had summoned the dark clouds upon Asgard and floated in the air.

“You dare to think that you can take me down?” he snarled “I have more power than you will ever be able to face!”

Red and black lightning cracked above them and Loki slid closer to Thor, putting his arm around him. He looked at the monster that Fimbulvetr had become and realized that this was it.

That this was the end.

“You think I required any of you to become who I am?” Fimbulvetr shouted “I required only the loyalty of the King of Asgard, nothing else! A desperate man becomes unaware, aye?”

Thunder roared over them and Loki put his arms around Thor, holding him close, hiding his face against him.

“Call your hammer” Loki whispered “Call Mjolnir”

Thor looked at him, uncertain for only a second before he extended his hand.

The rubble above which Fimbulvetr floated shifted under the power of his beloved hammer and the metallic thrum filled the air along with the crashing thunder, the wind and the chaos.

She broke through and flew straight into Thor’s awaiting hand. Loki immediately put his own upon Thor’s and lifted his head.

When Thor looked at him, he froze when he saw Loki’s eyes glowing a dangerous white, stark and lethal.

His hand, his entire being started to glow and Thor realized Loki was doing something with his hammer, something that he couldn’t even hope to understand.

Loki raised his eyes to Fimbulvetr and Thor felt the power that flowed through his beloved meet with his weapon.

“Now fire” Loki ordered, helping Thor aim “Shoot the demon from the skies…”

Thor looked up, right into the red clouds and tendrils of black magic that were coming down upon them and focused his energy forth.

Loki shouted alongside him as their combined powers soared straight for Fimbulvetr.

The monster was thrown backwards, into the broken palace behind him and they increased their combined strength enough to shake the very foundation of the remaining castle and have it fall upon him, golden brick and marble, concrete and steel all collapsed upon Fimbulvetr burying him alive within its confines.

The storm above them started to fade and Thor surged more power into his hammer, watching the lightning and electricity temper with Loki’s magic to break the palace apart until nothing stood where they were, until an entire tower had fallen on the monster that plagued them and stopped him.

Thor lowered his arm and looked at the destruction he had caused, barely paying attention to the way Loki was pulling on his arm.

“It won’t keep him down much longer” Loki said “We have to go, Thor, get up!”

Loki’s skin was going grey and he pulled on Thor’s arm, insisting.

“Thor!”

Thor looked at him and nodded, failing to notice his pallor. He didn’t think Fimbulvetr would be killed this easily, the storm clouds above them hadn’t completely vanished.

He was still alive.

The prince got to his feet and bent down to pull Tyr up and over his shoulder. Loki stumbled to his feet and followed when Thor made his way to safety.

“Where are we to go?” Thor panted, holding his brother

“Healers…” Loki panted.

Blood was slipping from his wound, down his side and he could feel it weaken him.

“Some place that has excellent healers” Loki told him, slowing down.

The pain was too much and Loki was losing blood quickly. There was no way he could keep up with Thor.

And Thor realized this when they reached a secure part of the palace. Guards were already waiting and they took Tyr from him.

He was alive, but only just and Thor feared his injury was permanent if not life threatening. He watched him leave before he turned to speak to Loki.

“How the hell did Azure get so strong, I fail to…”

He broke off when he saw Loki wasn’t behind him. His heart started pounding in his chest, he almost panicked.

“Loki?”

There was no anwer and Thor turned back, jogging towards the path they came.

“Loki!”

His voice echoed around him, coming back without an answer.

Shaking his head and unable to believe, Thor started to run, his breath shaky, his blood rushing through his ears.

“Lo-“

Thor’s voice cut short when he saw what was beyond him. There, far where he had left him without knowing, Loki lay in a shallow pool of his own blood. His eyes were closed and his face was pale as. It looked as though he was asleep but Thor knew better.

He rushed to him, getting on his knees beside him and reached down to pick him up.

“Loki?” he called softly, a hand at his nape.

Loki didn’t reply, his head fell back, unsupported, and Thor shook his head

“No…No…” his voice shook and he sat there properly, legs spread out as he pulled his husband into his lap “Loki…”

He cradled him to his chest, holding Loki’s head to his shoulder. Rocking him slowly, Thor started to plead.

“Please…” he whimpered “Please, no, _please_ …”

His eyes were squeezed tightly and tears slipped down his cheeks.

“Please, please, please…” he begged “Not my Loki, not Loki…”

He shook him, kissed him, begged him, pleaded him to get up, to get back up and talk to him, say something, scold him, anything!

When there was still no response, Thor tipped his head back and _screamed_ in agony, his voice loud, filled with pain and choking at the end as he lowered his head and rubbed his face against Loki.

Up above, red clouds started to gather once more but Thor didn’t care. He didn’t even look.

It didn’t matter now, none of it mattered, to hell with it.

What was he fighting for? Life?

For a chance to live?

He’d lost that and the proof was in his arms, propped against him without a life of his own.

Loki was gone, he was dead.

He heard footsteps and felt someone come closer, but didn’t care. If he was lucky, they would kill him too.

His chest was constricted and he couldn’t breathe.

He ignored the soft laugh he heard behind him.

“Ah, love” Fimbulvetr, fresh and fixed in Azure’s form “Such a useless and pliable sentiment. Seems stupid to waste time in it, doesn’t it?”

Thor’s shoulders shook as he let out a sob.

“You killed him” Thor whispered, shaking his head “You killed my Loki”

“True” Fimbulvetr agreed “But slightly off the mark, too. I had nothing to with it, your mother did it”

Thor swallowed and shook his head “That – Thing is not my mother. I saw what you did to her, I saw it!”

He lifted his head and glared at Fimbulvetr.

“How?” he hissed “Why did you bring her back? Who aided you?”

Fimbulvetr cackled, clapping his hands “Oh, this is brilliant! The pathetic, love struck fool has no idea who I am!”

Thor, numb from pain, looked at him, not wanting to think. He listened to this creature as he came around to crouch before him.

“I am not Azure” Fimbulvetr cooed “Oh, you darling boy, Azure died days ago, no, this …”

He gestured to himself “This is someone else, this is someone you will never have a chance of destroying…this… this is Fimbulvetr”

Thor’s eyes widened a second before Fimbulvetr grabbed his throat. He choked, his hands gripping the demon’s wrist tight in an attempt to breathe as the man lifted him up, letting Loki drop to the ground.

“So much power you hold within you” Fimbulvetr purred “I had focused on Loki this entire time, but when I saw you with that hammer, with that lightning, I realized…”

Fimbulvetr smiled, looking right into his eyes “Your magic is stronger”

Thor choked, trying to get him to stop squeezing.

The thunder and lightning above them burned the skies and Thor dug his nails into Fimbulvetr as his vision grew darker.

The world around him started to shift, his eyes began to become unfocused. He saw stars above him, he felt nothing around him, no ground, no air, no wind or sound. He felt no strength, he felt no breath and nothing around his throat.

The world disintegrated before his eyes and he felt loose, free.

There was no pain, no torment, no loss nor love.

For the first time in his life, Thor was freed.

He was free from everything.

Thor was free.

He heard a hiss beside him and turned his head, only realizing he was floating when he saw the space, the worlds surrounding him in the distance. He was weightless and light, free and painless.

There was no pain, nothing.

Another hiss sounded from above him and Thor looked to see a black creature floating above him, its claws raised as though to latch on to him, its dead eyes looking into Thor’s.

It was the same monster that started all this and Thor didn’t have the will to fight it this time, he didn’t want to fight anymore.

He had lost everything.

What was the point, he was meant to die anyway.

Why had he been fighting it?

He was going to be reunited with Loki, he was going to live with him forever.

Fimbulvetr smiled as he felt Thor’s grip on his wrists slowly fall. His smile was demonic, just like the rest of him and he squeezed harder, taking Thor’s life from him just like he intended on taking his form.

It would only take a few minutes, just a few, for Thor to leave and for Fimbulvetr to take his place.

Mjolnir started to shiver where she was and Fimbulvetr felt it, the power that was going to be his. His spirit latched onto Thor and he slowly started to turn his grip stronger.

All it would take is a few more minutes.

Two thick hands were now wrapped around Thor’s throat as he floated in the abyss and Fimbulvetr saw the life go out of his eyes slowly, effectively.

And that was when it changed.

A hard blast of magic shot through the air and Fimbulvetr cried out in pain as it hit him so hard he dropped Thor to the ground and was thrown across the broken pathway until he hit a pile of rubble and debris beside him.

Thor gasped and coughed, holding his throat as he took in as much air as he could.

He lay where he was, only shifting to his back and rubbed his neck, his eyes shut and filled with tears.

Who brought him back?

Who was responsible for it?

Thor heard footsteps and he turned his head to see three guards lift and take Loki’s body away while another imposing figure came towards him.

Odin’s head and shoulders materialized over him and Thor frowned, wondering what he was doing here.

When Odin reached down for him, Thor instinctively recoiled violently, shifting away from him, his blue eyes wide.

It froze Odin, stopped his mad old heart and he swallowed thickly, not making a single movement forwards or back.

Instead he looked Thor in the eye.

“Fight with me” he said “And I will bring Loki back”

Thor didn’t move and Odin would have spoken to him again had an angry growl not interrupted him.

The old man looked up and saw Fimbulvetr snarl at him

“You dare!?” the demon shrieked “After all I have done for you!?”

Odin held his staff tighter “You have done nothing other than cater to your own will. I foolishly played along, but no more. It is over”

Fimbulvetr smiled and the clouds above them thundered loudly, curling in the skies above Odin before they came together.

“Then I will start the end with you” Fimbulvetr hissed

Black lightning came down right at Odin’s head and the old mad Kin had time only to raise his hands in a feeble defence.

It wouldn’t work and as the power came at him, Odin shut his eyes prepared.

But it ever hit him.

A metallic thud sounded and Odin looked up to see Thor, the boy he had ruined, standing taller than him, his strong arm raised to absorb the entire bolt of lightning into his trusted Mjolnir. His hair floated around his head and his arm shook with the power he was taking in.

Fimbulvetr watched, a frown upon his face as Thor took not only the lightning that came down upon him, but more and more until the storm started to disintegrate.

“No!” the demon yelled, stomping over “You will die with your old man, then!”

The very next second, Fimbulvetr shouted in pain, doubling over as a blast of energy tore apart his middle. Panting heavily, he looked at the injury, bleeding out, then up to Odin, who hurled magic at him yet again.

He was given no reprieve as he was thrown back, groaning as he hit the hard ground.

He was dazed, the world was spinning around him.

His storm vanished to nothing.

His heart beat wildly in his chest and the only thing he was aware of…

Was the approach of two enemies united against him.

***

Thunder broke through the skies and lightning split it in half.

The roars of thunder had the entire ground shake beneath his feet and Fimbulvetr snarled, looking up at Thor as the man advanced on him.

“You think this will stop me?” he hissed “This will not do anything other than cause a delay. I will rule Jotunhiem, the realms, I will do what I have come here to do, you cannot stop me”

“Aye” Thor said, the wind he now controlled sailing through the air “But I can try”

He hurled his hammer to him and Fimbulvetr vanished from his range, appearing to the right, smiling at him.

“You truly think I am stupid enough to invest my entire spirit within one form?” he taunted him

This time, Odin shot magic at him and snarled in anger when he easily dodged it.

They heard his laughter, heard him move around and felt him knock them about but for now, he seemed to have vanished.

Thor and Odin had their backs to one another and a good distance between them. So Fimbulvetr chose this spot to materialize in, snickering and grinning to himself.

His hands glowed with magic and he aimed them at the huge pillar still standing beside Thor, intending on ending him right now.

Thor was unaware, looking to the skies, the ground, to his left and right, to any movement that could indicate where Fimbulvetr was. He didn’t see and he wouldn’t.

Fimbulvetr stepped back and Odin turned in time to see what he was doing.

“Thor, look out!” he shouted, staggering forward

Thor turned to look over his shoulder and grunted when Odin smashed into him, pushing him out of the way as the huge column crashed down where Thor stood seconds ago.

Dust and debris floated about in the air around him and he couldn’t see through it, couldn’t breathe through it, not until he put the corner of his cape around his mouth and searched ahead. But what he found, made him stumble.

Odin lay crushed under the column, his eye shut.

Thor stared, his blue eyes wide as he felt grief settle on him and something else. Something he had felt only when Fimbulvetr was choking him.

He was free.

As terrible as it was, he felt freedom and stood taller, his shoulders set with strength and his back was strong. His hand, which held Mjolnir was filled with strength and he realized that is was the absence of fear.

Odin himself had killed it, just like he’d raised it in Thor.

Years of torture of torment and agony were now trapped under the pillar and Thor saw a weak, dying old man underneath it.

He was holding onto his staff, still, as though it would give him some sort of power and Thor watched him whisper something, going to crouch by him.

But a blast of energy hit the ground before him, making him stumble back and see Fimbulvetr advancing on him, holding a spell in his hands.

“You stand no chance against me” he hissed “I will kill you, I will kill you just like I killed Loki, boy!”

He hurled the spell at Thor, who lifted Mjolnir before his face, deflecting it and sending it back.

Fimbulvetr stopped it, making it fade before it hit his face and slashed his hand downwards, just in time to see Thor descend from the air, his hammer bashing into his skull.

The hit threw him to the ground and Fimbulvetr looked up, his skull dented, blood pouring from the wound and into his eyes.

Thor brought the hammer down and it bashed into his head again, splitting it apart, breaking it like it was nothing. The body twitched and flinched, writhing as though it was a headless animal and Thor stepped back when the blood pouring from inside it started to hiss and bubble like acid.

He stepped back, seeing the damage it wrought upon the grass and concrete, eating away at it until there was nothing left. He grimaced, making a face at it and turned.

His heart stopped when he came face to face with the demon Fimbulvetr had made of Frigga.

Her once beautiful face was twisted, grotesque her grin too wide, splitting her face, stretching it taut, her eyes slit, too big, like a cougar’s.

“You think it’s that easy to get rid of me!?” Fimbulvetr shrieked and moved to jab Thor right in the chest.

Thor jumped back, slamming the hammer down on the hand that came at him and knocking it aside as he jumped to safety. His eyes were wide and even though he knew what this was, he couldn’t bring himself to hurt this form.

He just couldn’t.

Fimbulvetr came at him again and again, lashing at him, hitting him, hurling spell after spell into him until Thor was cornered. He raised his hammer, again and again, using it as a shield against Fimbulvetr’s attacks.

And the demon was relentless, he kept at it, hitting him over and over until Thor’s arm tired and he lost his grip on the hammer.

Fimbulvetr hit him across the face and Thor fell to his knees, looking up to receive yet another hard punch, which sent him sprawling to the floor, two gashes on his forehead.

He groaned and Fimbulvetr smiled

“Spare Son indeed” he snarled “You are nothing but a waste of breath, your form is destined to be mine to control”

Thor, blood seeping into his eyes, looked at the demon, once more raising his hands. The spell was large enough that he felt the static in the air around him and he knew he would die if he let this go on.

He knew he had to end this.

So Thor waited, his hand twitched and the moment Fimbulvetr brought the spell down, Thor rolled to safety, leaping behind him and holding out his hand.

The spell slammed into the ground, at Fimbulvetr’s feet and Mjolnir shot through the air, smashing into and through the demon’s middle, leaving a bloody, gaping hole in its wake.

There was shock on Fimbulvetr’s face was unexpected. He felt no breath go into him and he blinked, frowning when he saw space, nothingness and the abyss around him. A harsh croak left his lips and he cleared his throat, shaking his head as he was back with Thor, standing in the remnants of a broken hallway.

Blood poured from the body he’d turned into his vessel and he took two staggering steps to turn and face Thor, who lay behind him, his hammer in his hand.

Thor gave him no chance and he leapt to his feet, knocking the form of his mother side, watching it slam into the wall.

“Why!?” Thor shouted “Tell me why!”

He advanced on him and Fimbulvetr watched him approach until once more, he was within the abyss, flicking figures around him.

A hand came around his throat and he choked, looking up to see the abyss vanish and Thor stood before him.

And in that moment he realized what was happening.

He was dying, he was flickering between the world he came from and the world he had forced his way into. He was losing the second host he had, the backup he had made Odin care for and nurture.

This body was dying and until Thor was taken care of, he wouldn’t be able to go to another.

His worlds flickered once more as Thor shook him and he managed to focus on him through his demonic eyes.

“I asked you why!” Thor snarled “Tell me!”

Fimbulvetr choked “Go to h-hell…”

Thor looked at him in disgust “Nay, that is where you belong”

With that, Thor charged his hammer from the heavens, raising her high and Fimbulvetr saw the clouds give him lightning, cheering for him with their thunder as Thor pulled it from the skies and surged it into Fimbulvetr.

The monster screamed and his world turned and spun before his eyes as the smell of burning flesh whipped through the air. He felt the flesh and muscle melt off his bone, he felt his eyes start to steam up, his face melt off.

He felt the searing pain, the burning agony that came with his lungs collapsing as the last vessel he had burnt to a crisp as he lay within it. He tried to escape but the pain was so intense he couldn’t.

He couldn’t form the words, he couldn’t think of a spell, of a way to dodge this.

He had no power.

He had no life and as Thor continued, Fimbulvetr saw his future diminish. He saw his world collapse above him. There was no strength to keep him awake, no power within him to prevent Thor from doing what he was.

He screamed at Thor, watching him as he used his element to tear him apart until even the abyss faded from around him.

Whatever Thor was doing was stronger than him, stronger than Thor’s abilities and he had no idea where he got the strength.

There was something else there, someone else was there, someone far too powerful and someone who was on Thor’s side.

Their powers melded together and the stark whiteness around him pushed itself onto him until Fimbulvetr breathed his last and let it over take him because he could fight it no more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry about the delay but I got really ill. For a week I was in a daze.
> 
> BUT ON THE PLUS SIDE
> 
> THIS IS THE SECOND LAST CHAPTER!


	26. Chapter 26

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The End

Clouds started to settle above him and Thor stepped back, looking at the skies as they cleared away, leaving Asgard free or fear once more. The destruction behind him settled, the last of the dust was pushed off and away from the castle and Thor looked to the body at his feet, unmoving and limp.

Azure was gone, Fimbulvetr was gone, the monster he had made of his mother was gone and the only one left was…

“Thor…”

The third prince of Asgard turned and saw Odin, trapped beneath the column, rapidly losing his life.

Both of them knew he wouldn’t last long, Thor didn’t try to save him, it would be a painful experience for a lost cause.

The mad king was at his last handful of breaths.

Jogging to him, Thor crouched by Odin and brushed his hair back over his pale, cold face.

“Thor,” Odin choked “S-Son”

“I am here” Thor told him, his voice strong “Fear not, old man, you will not perish alone”

Odin scoffed, a smile upon his face as the dead sound escaped his lips.

“I fear not for p-perishing alone” he croaked “I fear you I will die a hated man. I wanted to…”

He broke off, taking a rasping breath and Thor placed a hand on his back.

“Calm yourself,” he said “Save your breath. Help will arrive soon”

He could hear shouting in the distance and looked at Odin.

“But before they do,” he said softly “I want to ask you why. Why did you do that? Why me? Why did you destroy my life when I had done nothing but love you?”

Odin looked at him and sighed “I knew you would ask me one day…”

Thor waited and furrowed his brow, giving him his full focus.

“Anger, I believe” Odin said “stupidity, grief … I had lost my mind, never gained it back.”

There was silence as Odin inhaled.

“After that demon came to me with a proposition of b-bringing your mother back” he said “I was weak. I agreed and he … he gave me torment and distraction…I never should have done what I did”

Thor sighed and looked away, severely disappointed.

Odin had been selfish then, selfish and cruel to him for no reason. He had suffered because Odin had chosen the wrong path and in that moment, Thor truly wanted to grab his weapon and bash his father’s head in.

He said nothing and Odin knew how he felt.

“For what it – it’s worth” Odin croaked “I did love you”

Thor looked down at him again and saw he was dying.

He could destroy this man, his tormentor with only a few words. No, it was worth nothing, he wanted to say. Only Loki was worth a damn to him, only Loki was the one who mattered, Odin didn’t.

Thor was orphaned years ago. He lost his father the day he lost his mother.

That was the truth, that was what he wanted to know.

But the man was in his final moments and Thor said none of it. he placed a hand over Odin’s head, an empty gesture that would mean everything to Odin at this moment.

And it did, because no sooner had Thor placed his hand atop his father’s head, that Odin started to relax and Thor felt the last of his breath hit his wrist when the man who had ruined his life, died at his feet.

He heard the oncoming footsteps  that came closer and saw Balder running back, guards behind him. They had come to help but when they took in the carnage, they knew that they were too late.

It was finished.

Thor had won – in every way possible, Thor had won that day.

***

Loki was alive.

The relief that went through Thor, the sheer gratitude to the norns was so powerful that Thor fell to his knees, holding his chest as though he was trying to stop his bleeding heart.

He was alive!

His Loki was safe, the norns were merciful to him. The guards beside Thor helped the man up and into a chair where Thor sat heavily. His hands buried into his hair as he stared at the floor. He didn’t even know his eyes were filled with tears until one slipped down, falling and vanishing into the material of his pants.

Thor blinked and sat back, swallowing heavily as he controlled himself enough to stand and meet Loki. And if he was asleep, sit by him, hold his hand and sin to him.

His love needed him right now, Thor needed to be strong. Loki has been strong for Thor their entire marriage.

Now it was his turn.

There was no excuse for him to fall back on or to appear weak.

This was it.

Odin was dead, Fimbulvetr was gone and no one stood in his way.

He was Thor Odinson, third son of a mighty King and the husband of the most powerful man in Jotunhiem.

Nothing stood in his way.

A door opened before him and Thor looked up, no tears in his eyes, no fear on his face, nothing.

He simply stood and walked on, going into the healing room where his beloved lay in bed, healing after fighting for much more than anyone Thor had ever known.

***

“I’m fine, my darling” Loki cooed, looking at Thor, the gallant young man who carried him in his arms “Must you do this?”

“Of course” Thor told him, his face completely serious “It is the law”

“Oh?” Loki asked, laying his head on Thor’s shoulder “Where is this law written?”

“In a book you will never see”

“Why not?”

“Because you are too old for it” Thor stated “It is for us young, nubile minds”

Loki narrowed his eyes “You young nubile minds are in for a bashing if you think to insult me”

“Insult!” Thor gasped “Never, I merely wish to tell you the facts. You are an older man, well past his prime. It is time that you start thinking about that, my love”

“I think it is time you start thinking about how this old man past his prime can desecrate you” Loki countered

“Another helpful fact that is, yes” Thor conceded

Loki laughed and shook his head, resting a hand over Thor’s heart.

He knew it was still healing.

The trauma Thor had gone through wouldn’t leave him unscathed. The childhood he had, the torture, the war, the hate, the fights, everything affected him. he was a sensitive soul and though Loki had done his best to ensure that he got whatever he needed, he couldn’t fix everything.

He knew that there were nights where Thor panicked when he didn’t find Loki beside him and he sat up, looking for him. Loki would be there, just by Ari, rocking the child as he woke a lot during the night. He knew that sometimes, Thor could stare into space for at least an hour. He would be lost with whatever demons he had faced and put behind him. Loki knew they surfaced every once in a while and that it was best to leave Thor be whenever that happened.

Loki also knew that ever since Thor sat by him for two days while he recovered from his injuries, he was over protective. Six months had passed that day and Thor treated him like he was fragile. And the frightening thing was, that Loki felt that way too. There were days he couldn’t get out of bed because he was weak, there were days he just slept for hours on end and there were days he fainted. It would pass, he was told, but it scared the life out of Thor.

The young man carried him where Loki couldn’t walk, he sang to him when Loki couldn’t sleep and cared for their son, who was now ten months old, when Loki was asleep. He was there, truly as a part of Loki that made him stronger. And he never said anything about it. his dedication was visible to everyone who saw it.

And norns above, the one thing that Thor did best was take care of his son.

There were days where Ari would attempt to bring the whole house down. There were days he drove Loki to the point where Loki had no idea what to do and there were days where Ari was a completely happy child.

Fortunately, tonight was the last one out of those three days. Tonight, most of the day except for a small dessert incident, Ari had behaved very well. Loki was very proud of his babe. He scooted about Thor’s room effortlessly, his coos were starting to sound like words and Thor helped him along, speaking to him so he would respond. He shook his head and nodded whenever he was asked something and Loki would occasionally ask him legal and political questions, to which he would answer as he saw fit.

He was the future ruler after all, he needed to know these things. Ari seemed to know his own importance and had developed a special bond with Lady Sif. Whenever he saw her, he would scream and cheer, clap his hands and lean over to go to her. She was smitten and spent hours with him, often taking him off Thor and Loki’s hands so they could be together.

Her heart was set on having children with Balder once they married.

And Thor and Loki bet that they would _have_ to get married _because_ their heart was set on children and the inevitable will happen.

It was something they shared with Tyr.

And Tyr needed it more than that did.

He had survived the spell hurled at him by the demon when he pushed Loki out of harm’s way. He had made it and he was alive.

But he was not fine.

The hit was brutal and it should have killed him. Yet his life was spared at the cost of his legs.

Tyr was crippled, unable to move from the waist down. His spine had been damaged and though the healers of Asgard did all they could, they couldn’t make him whole again.

It was deemed impossible.

And the past six months, Tyr had slowly gotten used to the fact that he wouldn’t be able to walk. He had thrown fits of rage for days and he still had his tantrums but they were slowly fading into nothing. It helped that everyone treated him as though nothing changed and it helped that they made him King the moment he was better.

The council, Balder, Thor, Loki, everyone who was around him, treated him as the warrior he was. And because of this, he had started a new training which he was rapidly learning and mastering. He was still the man he was, stronger than before because of what had happened to him and everyone believed it.

Especially Thor and Loki.

They truly thought that given a year or two, Tyr would be back to his lethal, murderous self again.

They were still in Asgard, however, staying there because Laufey insisted. Not because he didn’t want them there, rather because of the fact that he wanted them to relax.

Loki had abdicated and the throne was now, rightfully, Helblindi’s. He liked that sort of thing, the ruling and the power. Loki had heard he randomly sent out guards on funny quests and rewarded them when they succeeded.

If nothing else, it helped the people as their Kingdom fixed itself yet again. The safe houses were not homes for the orphans and widowed. New schools were being built and Asgard was the one helping.

Laufey wanted Loki there to monitor everything as best he could and relax until Jotunhiem was rebuilt. This time, there were going to be Asgardian ambassadors staying in Jotunhiem as a way to permanent peace.

No one wanted to hurt Jotunhiem any more than they already had.

Those people had had enough.

Thor was the very first person when it came to those who wanted to protect Jotunhiem and he started it with Loki.

Who he was carrying to their room where their son awaited.

Ari had been playing with his toys and Sif all day. The dear woman had taken him when Loki had collapsed yet again and Thor had taken him to the healers. Now, they came back, after a day of rest and testing, opening the door and entering.

Ari looked up from his spot, his face serious until he saw them.

“Dada!” he screeched, tossing aside his toys and crawling over at full speed.

Both Thor and Loki smiled and Thor crouched down, still holding Loki as Ari made a beeline for them.

“Oh, my darling” Loki cooed, holding out his hands “Come here”

Ari screamed in joy and crawled up to Loki, then climbed into his lap where he curled up, nuzzling Loki’s face and planting wet kisses where he could.

Loki cooed and whispered to him and Thor smiled, carrying them both to the bed and depositing them there.

Sif stood and watched the family reconnect, laughing when Ari rolled on his back and reached for Thor, who stood behind Loki and clearly too far.

“Of course, my love” Thor said, picking him up

Ari grinned and grabbed Thor’s hair, pulling it lightly as he did so. He ran his fingers through it before Thor started to kiss his belly and the baby laughed, letting Thor hug him.

“He missed you today” Sif said, picking up her cloak “And he is getting stronger. He nearly toppled me over when we were playing with his war horse toy”

“Really?” Thor asked, holding Ari to him as the babe let out senseless mumbles

“Aye” Sif said, bowing to them “I will take him to the gardens with Balder tomorrow”

“As you wish” Loki waved at her “Thank you, Sif. You make everything easier”

She scoffed “Well, of course, I am brilliant”

Loki grinned and watched her leave before turning to his husband.

“We have to get her something”

“Agreed” Thor said, nudging Loki as he sat “Scoot”

Loki did and Thor sat with him, Ari in his arms as the baby stuffed his fist in his mouth. His big eyes watched everything until they landed on Loki and he smiled.

“Hello, baby” Loki said, laying his head down

“Faa…” Ari said, moving over to him

Loki picked him up in his arms and lifted him above him as he lay on his back. He bent his legs and rested Ari on his knees, making the child laugh and coo in joy as he gave him a ride on his shins. Thor smiled as Ari wrapped his arms around Loki’s legs and rested his cheek on his knee, looking at him.

“He is _adorable_ , isn’t he?” Thor asked, reaching over and scratching Ari behind the ears.

The boy hummed in contentment and Loki chuckled

“Every bit the cat, isn’t he?”

Thor lay beside Loki, looking at their son, their little miracle.

“Can you believe he almost came back?” Loki whispered

“Loki, don’t” Thor pleaded “I still have nightmares”

“It was because of those runes” Loki said “I almost lost him”

Thor shut his eyes and put an arm around Loki, moving to lay his head on his lover’s shoulder

“You are not to blame” Thor whispered “No one knew”

“I should have” Loki said

“You were out cold, my darling” Thor kissed his neck “Please do not blame yourself”

Loki pressed his lips together and sighed.

The fear was in his eyes, still. He had learned when he woke up that the runes painted on Ari were absorbed into his skin and were a gateway for Fimbulvetr to come back. He wasn’t alive, he wasn’t dead, he was a spirit and as such, he was looking for a host.

It was only chance that a day before Loki woke, Thor saw the runes glow and felt that presence around him. His quick thinking took him straight to the royal mages and they collected to ensure that those runes vanished and that stifling presence vanished.

It was far too close for comfort and when Loki found out, he nearly lost his mind in fear.

He was still afraid, often checking Ari when he bathed him for bed, just to be sure.

And the darling child had no idea.

He didn’t know that he was the intended vessel for a monster.

Which was why he was watching both his parents lazily, laying on Loki’s shins. His hands were wrapped around them and he smiled when Loki sat up, the babe still attached to him. He slid downwards and rested his bottom on Loki’s feet.

“There you are, my darling” Loki said, giving Ari a ride as he swung his feet up and down.

It made Ari happy, but Thor knew it was only so Loki could avoid what he was saying. The former king was blaming himself, there was no doubt about it.

And it hurt because no matter what he said, Loki would continue to think that. He would continue to think that it was his fault.

He always would.

Thor sighed and sat up, kissing Loki on the shoulder.

“I will take a bath and rejoin you two” he promised as he got up and left them alone.

Loki gave him a gentle smile and went back to his son, playing with him, giving him rides that had Ari extremely happy.

Afterwards, when Thor came back, he took over while Loki took his bath. He kept the door open just a little in case Loki needed him or something happened.

Ari watched, too, in his opinion he was a better candidate for watching over Loki than his father because he a thousand times better.

Later on that night, he snuggled between the two as they slept, spending half the night with Loki and half with Thor, because they both needed the protection he offered.

***

The night turned out to be perfect for a midnight stroll.

Or crawl, because Ari had yet to learn how to walk. But the door to their room opened as a maid walked in after Thor and Loki slept to put fresh linens she had clearly forgotten. And in doing so, she didn’t properly close the door on her way to rush out.

That was all Ari needed.

He sat up and looked at the door, realizing this was a perfect opportunity for him to explore the world alone. His parents, though caring and loving, were very stifling. They often kept him from going where he wanted and since he was having trouble sleeping tonight, a crawl in the halls wouldn’t hurt anyone.

So, with that in mind, the little prince moved to the edge of the bed and slid down, falling on his bum and smiling at the door as he went to it.

It was easy for him to push it open and move about, looking up at the two guards that were standing at their posts. He gave them a big grin and crawled up behind them, not making a noise because his stealth was one of his greatest assets.

He was silent as he went behind one of the guards, pushed his cape aside and slipped in.

The man felt the movement and he felt something nudge his foot so he looked down. his mouth fell open when he saw the Royal Baby sitting on his foot, holding his shin guard and smiling up at him.

“Oye” he chuckled “Alan, look at that”

His fellow guard turned and grinned when he saw Ari “Oh looks like the wee prince wants to have a midnight stroll, aye?”

Ari laughed softly as Alan crouched to his level and held out a hand.

“Cheerful evening, Majesty” he smiled when Ari grabbed his finger “Fancy a walk, eh?”

“Wa…” Ari tried to mimic him

It delighted the two guards to hear that and they sniggered.

“Oh, he is adorable” the first guard, Rodrick, spoke “I don’t feel like taking him back yet”

“We never get to hold him, do we?” Alan complained.

The two sat down, cross legged and sat Ari between them, watching him play with their fingers and make soft, cooing noises.

“The princes will have our heads for this” Rodrick said

“No doubt” Alan said, tickling Ari’s side.

Ari laughed and looked at him, clapping his hands before he pointed down the hall. He wanted them to take him there and the two men looked at each other, before they looked at him.

“Perhaps one of us should take him with us?” Rodrick said “You should stay”

“What?” Alan gaped “Why me? Let me have a walk with him, please, he reminds me so much of my own”

“At least you have your own, I have nothing by my own hand as company in my sad life!” Rodrick countered “Besides, he came to me. He likes me better”

Someone cleared their throat behind them and the two guards turned. They stilled when they saw Loki standing there, leaning against the door in his night robe.

He looked half asleep and miffed at the same time so both Rodrick and Alan stood. Ari was in Rodrick’s arms and he smiled at seeing Loki, waving at him.

“Fa…”

“We can explain, Majesty” Rodrick said

“Never mind” Loki walked over “the little demon gave me a heart attack when I saw he wasn’t there”

Ari cooed at him, not at all tired and the moment Loki held him, he let out a joyful screech and jumped in Loki’s arms, pointing down the hall.

“Ari…” Loki groaned “Please, calm down”

The baby had no intention to and he laughed and climbed over Loki’s shoulder, trying to get to the floor.

The guards looked at one another, looked at how tired Loki was and came to a decision at the same time.

“My lord” Rodrick called, stepping forward

Loki turned, wincing when Ari pulled on his hair “Aye?”

“Perhaps if we give him a walk around the hall, he might tire out?” Alan suggested “I do not mean to stop over my bounds but you look rather tired and we will be more than happy to take him off your hands”

Ari seemed to agree, he looked at Loki and proceeded to pat his cheeks. The tired Jotun sighed at his son’s antics, then looked to the guards.

“One round” Loki said, turning to hand his baby “And I will be watching you”

He didn’t know who was more excited, the baby or the two guards. They both looked elated and came to take the excited Ari from Loki. Rodrick held him and Alan cooed at him, making Ari realize that he was more important than he previously thought.

He watched Loki as he was taken down the wall, waving at him and making him smile. Rolling his eyes, Loki turned and went back to his room to await the return of his untrustworthy little babe.

***

Another thing that Ari took to with extreme passion was water. At ten months old, his uncles decided that he needed to be taught how to swim.

Loki had pointed out that he swam plenty in their bath tub but the princes wanted him to try the real thing – the royal pool.

Thor had been on board with the idea immediately and Loki could only watch as he got Ari a lovely outfit to wear so he could head down to the pool on one of the hotter days in Asgard. The baby was excited, Thor more so, his brothers were already inside the water hollering for Ari to join them. Loki didn’t know if there was one baby or five, the way they were acting.

Tyr was in the shallowest part of the pool, so he got the right to hold Ari.

And what a scene it became.

Loki and Thor burst out laughing when the very cool water  touched Ari and he froze up. His eyes were wide and his body went stiff. He had frozen, like a rabbit, he had frozen where he was and Tyr couldn’t stop laughing because when he pulled him out of the water, Ari started to move his tiny legs, as though walking.

It was the most precious thing he had ever seen!

Thor doubled over as he laughed and Loki, taking in the fact that his sweet husband was far too close to the edge of the pool, couldn’t resist.

The moment Thor looked at him, Loki smiled – and pushed him right into the water.

The screech Thor gave was delightful and it echoed around them as Thor hit the water. The resulting splash doused everyone with cold water and Loki was very pleased with his act.

More so when Thor emerged from the water utterly drenched and had his hair plastered all over.

“Oh, you will pay…”

Loki stopped laughing and backed away as the man approached “Oh no, stay back, you heathen!”

Thor climbed out of the pool and sprinted at him, making Loki turn and run as fast as he could. Ari screeched and clapped in joy as both his parents ran around the pool. He was now atop Tyr’s shoulders and had a great view, cheering for them both as Balder and Tyr egged Thor on.

“Throw him in the pool!” Tyr shouted “You can do it!”

Loki jumped over a few tables and Thor was right after him, gaining speed.

“Thor, don’t you dare!” Loki called over his shoulder.

Unlike them, he had no intention of swimming and was in rather nice clothes

“I will freeze your ass off!”

Thor galloped after him and gained on him, making Loki turn to the side.

But it was too late.

Thor’s hand grabbed his clothes and Loki howled as he pulled him back

“Thor, I will beat you into…”

Whatever else Loki was saying as Thor pulled him into his arms was cut off as the Thor jumped into the water with him.

Loki’s insults and threats were absorbed by the bubbles under the water, Thor’s grin seemed to shine.

When they surfaced, Loki gasped for air, pushing his hair back before he turned to Thor and let out a loud growl, lunging on him.

He was smiling, of course and Ari screamed, slapping his hands on Tyr’s head as he did so.

The laughter in the pool was contagious and it set the mood for all of them for the rest of the day.

When they settled for the night, Ari was a complete sweetheart. He had his eyes closed and was deeply asleep even before they had dinner. He had taken his own meal and quickly gone to sleep, thanks to the adventure with his parents and uncles.

It was a peaceful night and Loki looked at Thor, smiling, as they ate together.

Thor had Loki in his lap and Loki leaned against him, running his hands through his blonde hair as they ate slowly. It was bliss, sweet and pure bliss.

The hand rubbing Loki’s back squeezed his shoulder every now and then in love and Loki’s hand twirled Thor’s hair around his finger as they enjoyed each other’s sweet company.

“Loki?” Thor spoke softly

It felt as though he was trying not to break the tranquility around them.

“Hm?” Loki asked, resting his cheek on his head “What is it, love?”

Thor took a bite of the potatoes and spinach dish Loki had made for him and thought about it before he spoke.

“I am really glad my father chose you for me”

Loki smiled, rubbing his chest in affection “Really? An old man like me?”

“Old and senile” Thor corrected “Of course, I had to make a huge compromise and look at your saggy, wrinkled body all my life…”

Loki snorted and Thor hissed when he tugged on his hair “Ass”

Thor kissed his neck “I felt like I had life pushed back into me. The moment we wed, you were kind and generous and good. I have never seen anyone as lucky as I am”

“Oh, don’t you go taking all the luck” Loki said “I had a large share of it, too”

He sat up a little and looked down at him, the gentle, loving smile on his lips.

“The young man who stole my heart” he said “So quickly and easily, you were my luckiest charm, I believe that despite all that has happened”

“Do you truly?” Thor asked “After everything”

“I think everything just made us stronger” Loki told him “All the pain, the heart ache and loss just made us realize that … that we can get through anything”

Thor looked up at him, his blue eyes shining in worship “Do you believe that or are you just saying it to ease my guilt?”

Loki smiled “I never just ‘say’ anything my love. I believe it”

He leaned down and kissed Thor on the forehead “My Thor, my darling, I believe in you, in us and in the future we will have once we get home”

Thor shut his eyes and imagined it “The land of beauty once more.”

“Aye” Loki stroked his cheek “Of ice and snow…”

“Of rain and blizzards” Thor said

“Of snow and thunder”

Thor opened his eyes and smiled at him once more “I love you, Loki”

“And I love you, Thor” Loki replied “More than anything else in the world.”

Thor put his arms around him and pulled him close “I doubt you love me more than that piece of cake you hid in our room”

Loki blinked and Thor smiled

“It’s mine now,” the blonde said

“No, don’t you …” Loki yelped, breaking off when Thor stood with him in his arms and sat him on the chair he vacated

“Try and get it before me” Thor beamed before he shot to their room

“No, Thor, you will wake Ari!” Loki went after him

The door slowly started to close as sounds of laughter and growling started from within. Clearly Thor had found the cake and Loki was not having it.

His father had sent it.

It was delicious!

There was thumping heard from inside, a yelp, a crash, a gasp and then…

“Damn it, Thor!”

Ari started crying.

And yet, despite all the mess, the destroyed cake and the crying baby, all Loki saw and all Thor felt was the love, devotion and determination that linked his heart to Thor’s.

That was all that mattered

That was all he wanted to take back with him to the land of snow and thunder.

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WELL THIS CAME TO AN END! No I was not crying! I swear! You guys have been so amazing when it came to me and so patient! I can't believe I have readers like you! All of you! Each and every single one.
> 
> My life isn't the best right now but it will pass, bad things always do. You guys give me hope and inspiration to believe that and I truly thank you all.
> 
> I love you


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